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1
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[KNOCKING]
2
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VICTOR:
Come in.
3
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-Victor Borge.
-Oh, hi, Scooter.
4
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,257
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Borge.
5
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,384
Fine. I'll be ready when you're ready.
6
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,136
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
7
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,555
Say, uh, what's that you're playing?
8
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,348
-It's Beethoven.
-Mm.
9
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Any requests?
10
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Yes.
11
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Don't play Beethoven.
12
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It's The Muppet Show,
13
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,944
with our very special guest star,
Victor Borge.
14
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[CHEERS]
15
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,698
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
16
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
17
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,213
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
18
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,174
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
19
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
20
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,804
Don't despair.
In half an hour it'll be all over.
21
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:55,847
[BOTH LAUGH]
22
00:00:55,930 --> 00:01:00,268
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
23
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
24
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,357
♪ This is what we call ♪
25
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,944
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
26
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:12,697
[HONKS]
27
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,866
[BABIES GIGGLING]
28
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,328
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
29
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:22,874
Thank you, and welcome to another one
of those things we call The Muppet Show.
30
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,584
Tonight our very special guest star
31
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is that master of comedy and culture,
Mr. Victor Borge.
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We're all very excited--
33
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[CHEF SINGING GIBBERISH
AND PLAYING FOLK MUSIC]
34
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Especially the Swedish Chef. Chef.
35
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Uh, Chef, you know,
Victor Borge is not Swedish.
36
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He's Danish.
37
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[MUTTERING GIBBERISH]
38
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Well...
39
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[ACCORDION CRASHES]
40
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,563
Well, uh, sorry about that.
41
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,024
Before we get to good things
like guest stars,
42
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we have to pass through some strange
and unknown territory, comme ça.
43
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[BAND PLAYING DISCO MUSIC]
44
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,166
[PIGS SCATTING IN UNISON]
45
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Pigs!
46
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[PIGS CONTINUE SCATTING]
47
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♪ Everybody wants to be
A macho, macho man ♪
48
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,854
♪ To have the kind of body
That's always in demand ♪
49
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PIGS:
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
50
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,858
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
51
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♪ Macho, macho man ♪
52
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♪ Macho man, yeah ♪
53
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,906
PIGS:
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
54
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HOGTHROB: ♪ Gotta be a macho, macho man ♪
PIGS: ♪ Macho, macho man ♪
55
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:41,619
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
56
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,913
PIGS:
♪ I've gotta be a macho ♪
57
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[HOGTHROB GRUNTING]
58
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[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
59
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,420
[GONZO SQUAWKS]
60
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,632
[CHICKENS CLUCKING TO TUNE]
61
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All right!
62
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Come on, now, girls.
63
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:04,726
Come on, chickie baby. Check my action.
64
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:08,563
Come on, chickie. Check my action.
65
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:12,359
♪ Everybody wants to be
A macho, macho man ♪
66
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:16,363
♪ To have the kind of body
That's always in demand ♪
67
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,198
GONZO & CHICKENS:
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
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♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
69
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♪ Macho, macho man ♪
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♪ Macho ♪
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♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
72
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-♪ I've gotta be a macho, macho man ♪
CHICKENS: ♪ Macho, macho man ♪
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♪ I've gotta be a macho ♪
74
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[BLOWS WHISTLE]
75
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Come on, now. Fight like a shirt.
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00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,105
[SCREAMS]
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PIGS:
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
78
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,734
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
79
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,612
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
80
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:58,738
♪ Macho man ♪
81
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,450
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
82
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GONZO & CHICKENS:
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
83
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,329
[GONZO SQUAWKS]
84
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,081
♪ I've gotta be a macho ♪
85
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,083
Fire! All right!
86
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,168
PIGS:
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
87
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,878
Fire!
88
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,756
PIGS:
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
89
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,716
GONZO:
All right, now!
90
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,635
GONZO & CHICKENS:
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
91
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:21,761
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
92
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,097
♪ I've gotta be a macho ♪
93
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,142
PIGS:
♪ I've gotta be a macho ♪
94
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,060
You're a bunch of sissies.
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ALL:
♪ I've gotta be a macho ♪
96
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,898
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
97
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,984
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
98
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:42,157
Oh, they shouldn't allow gangs like that
on the street.
99
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,452
I'd rather have them on the street
than on the stage.
100
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,082
Okay. Nicely rumbled there, gangs.
101
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,960
-Thanks. Nice number.
KERMIT: Well done.
102
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,172
Uh, excuse me, you have a Bobby Benson
working here?
103
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,341
Yeah, he's downstairs rehearsing.
104
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,925
Oh, thank you.
105
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,388
Say, who was that guy?
I've seen him on television.
106
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,140
I don't know. He wanted to see Bobby.
107
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:10,393
-I wish I could remember the show.
-I wish you could remember this show.
108
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:14,314
Oh, right. Tell Mr. Borge to get ready
for his opening number.
109
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,567
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
110
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,790
Yeah, terrific, terrific.
111
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:36,252
-Bobby, they're just great. Just great.
-I know, I know. I know.
112
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,921
You Bobby Benson?
113
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,631
Well, I sure am.
114
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,550
I'd like to talk to you
someplace in private.
115
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,136
Well, gee, I don't know. The babies.
116
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,722
It's okay. I'll take care of the babies.
117
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,891
-Hey, thanks, Fozzie.
-Yeah.
118
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,434
Uh, babies, take five.
119
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,602
[BABIES CHEERING]
120
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,105
Hey, babies. Hey, babies. Hi. Hi.
121
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,233
Hey. My name is Fozzie the Bear.
122
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:03,947
Yeah, yeah, and I'm going to tell you
a whole bunch of funny stories.
123
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,281
Stories!
124
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,034
Yeah, all right.
125
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,079
Did you hear the one
about the two kangaroos?
126
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,331
[BABIES SCREAMING AND FOZZIE YELPING]
127
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:16,751
FOZZIE:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
128
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,338
I guess they heard that one.
129
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,506
[FOZZIE YELLS]
130
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:28,138
Ladies and gentlemen, it is a great honor
for me to introduce our guest.
131
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,683
He is truly one of the most distinguished
and funniest pianists in the world.
132
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,019
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Victor Borge.
133
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,104
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
134
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:58,293
Ladies and gentlemen,
there seems to be a dog on the stage.
135
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:02,088
I hope you don't mind.
I'm just here to admire your technique.
136
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,341
I play the piano too, you know.
137
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,218
-Oh, you do? That is interesting.
-Yeah.
138
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,054
I hope that's okay with you.
139
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,223
Yes, it certainly is.
I chase cats once in a while myself.
140
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,059
I hope that's all right with you.
141
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,393
Listen, be my guest.
142
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,687
You be my guest.
Let's play something together.
143
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,813
Hey, can I do that?
144
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:24,194
What do you know? Do you know anything?
Maybe something by Bach? Ha, ha.
145
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,738
My "Bach" is worse than my bite.
146
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:32,077
There are three Bachs, you know:
Johann, Sebastian
147
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,620
and Offenbach.
148
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,915
I "Offenbach" myself.
149
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,669
He is a witty dog.
150
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,379
Okay. What do you want to play?
151
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,465
Uh, how about Liszt's
"Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2"?
152
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,093
Ooh. Don't you know "No. 1"?
153
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,844
-Mm-mm.
-Okay, "No. 2."
154
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:53,056
Oh, I'll start, and you try to follow me.
155
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,809
-Okay, here we go.
-Okay.
156
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,817
That's not bad.
157
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,490
Marvelous.
158
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,956
Beautiful.
159
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,167
A talking dog.
160
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,838
Piano-playing, also.
161
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,135
I wonder how his violin playing is.
162
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,933
Sometimes I fiddle around.
163
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,525
-Good cadenza.
-Mm-hm.
164
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,445
Something like this. This is it.
165
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,947
This is really the way it goes.
166
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,576
-Uh-huh.
-Woof.
167
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,607
Now it's you.
168
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,159
Ta-da.
169
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,837
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
170
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,177
Oh, Victor. Hey, that was a nice number.
Nice going, Rowlf.
171
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,389
Oh, thank you very much.
But I have a bone to pick with you.
172
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:43,476
They gave me my fee for my performance,
but look what I got. There was a mistake.
173
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,437
I think you must have gotten Rowlf's.
174
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,356
Ooh, hot dog! I just got a raise.
175
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,317
[LAUGHS]
176
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,779
Well, I'll tell you,
I have worked for peanuts before.
177
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,406
Yes.
178
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,242
Peanuts.
179
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,248
Uh, Kermit, I'm just gonna step out
for a few minutes with my friend.
180
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,499
That's fine, Bobby.
181
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,169
-Have somebody watch the babies, will you?
-Oh, sure.
182
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,296
Not Fozzie.
He doesn't seem to have the knack.
183
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,590
Come on, Benson, come on.
184
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,799
Uh, wait a minute.
185
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,136
I just remembered what TV show
I saw that guy on.
186
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,847
It was the 6:00 news. He's a cop.
187
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,140
I know.
188
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,267
[BABIES BABBLING]
189
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:28,730
The problem now,
is who's gonna take care of the babies?
190
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,607
[PIGGY HUMMING LULLABY]
191
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,109
Hello, Kermie.
192
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,028
Don't worry about the babies.
193
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,155
I shall take care of them.
194
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,865
You, Miss Piggy?
195
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:42,077
Of course. I just love children.
196
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,578
And they adore me.
197
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,538
I don't believe this.
198
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:51,586
Kermie, I'll make a wonderful mother
someday.
199
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,381
[GULPS]
200
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:58,510
There you are. Come along, babies.
201
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:03,264
♪ The hills are alive ♪
202
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,977
♪ With the sound of music ♪
203
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,274
Come right in. That's right.
204
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,943
That's right, babies.
205
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,821
Just relax and enjoy yourselves...
206
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,114
[BABIES BABBLING]
207
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,865
...and shut up!
208
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,538
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
back by popular demand,
209
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,123
the Singing Rats!
210
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,208
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
211
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,213
Hickory dickory dock
212
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,841
The rat ran up the clock
213
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,384
The clock struck 1
214
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,635
[CLOCK CHIMES]
215
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,971
♪ One, two, three o'clock
Four o'clock rock ♪
216
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,807
ALL: ♪ Five, six, seven o'clock
Eight o'clock rock ♪
217
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,018
♪ Nine, ten, eleven o'clock
Twelve o'clock rock ♪
218
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,478
♪ We're gonna rock
Around the clock tonight ♪
219
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,440
♪ When the clock strikes five
Six and seven ♪
220
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,942
♪ We'll be right in seventh heaven ♪
221
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,153
♪ Gonna rock
Around the clock tonight ♪
222
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,822
♪ Gonna rock, rock, rock
'Til the broad daylight ♪
223
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:04,743
♪ We're gonna rock, gonna rock
Around the clock tonight ♪
224
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,161
[CAT YOWLS]
225
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,459
[YAWNS]
226
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,254
Gonna rock around the clock tonight
227
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,965
ALL: ♪ Gonna rock, rock, rock
'Til the broad daylight ♪
228
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:24,554
♪ Gonna rock, gonna rock
Around the clock tonight ♪
229
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,680
[CLOCK CHIMES]
230
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,140
♪ Do bee do ba ♪
231
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,268
[ALL CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
232
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:32,729
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
233
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,065
[PLAYING LIVELY CLASSICAL MUSIC]
234
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,155
[PLAYS DISSONANT CHORDS]
235
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,669
[PLAYS DISSONANT CHORDS]
236
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,213
[PLAYS DISSONANT CHORDS]
237
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,758
There's something wrong.
238
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,843
Just a minute.
239
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:09,432
"The Blue Danube" by Jo Strauss.
240
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,024
[PLAYING LIVELY CLASSICAL MUSIC]
241
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,908
[PLAYS DISSONANT CHORDS]
242
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,619
I was right.
243
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,207
[PLAYING "ACT NATURALLY"]
244
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:41,131
♪ They're gonna put me in the movies ♪
245
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,342
♪ They're gonna make a big star
Out of me ♪
246
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:49,055
♪ They'll make a film
About a man who's sad and lonely ♪
247
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,435
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
248
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:59,024
BOTH: ♪ Well, I'll bet you
I'm gonna be a big star ♪
249
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,610
♪ Might win an Oscar
You can never tell ♪
250
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:08,283
♪ The movie's gonna make me a big star ♪
251
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:12,704
♪ 'Cause I can play the part so well ♪
252
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:16,249
♪ Well, I hope you'll come and see me
In the movies ♪
253
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,459
[SCREAMS]
254
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,587
♪ Then I know that you will plainly see ♪
255
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,047
Who are you?
256
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:25,550
♪ The biggest fool
That ever hit the big time ♪
257
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:26,676
Oh.
258
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,971
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
259
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:32,599
Hey, wait a minute. You can't do this.
260
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,725
Why not?
261
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,895
You're a reflection.
You're supposed to do just what I do.
262
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,855
But you do ludicrous things.
263
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,273
I do what?
264
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,983
Ludicrous things.
265
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,320
Of course I do. I'm an artist.
266
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,948
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
267
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:53,661
BOTH: ♪ Well, I'll bet you
I'm gonna be a big star ♪
268
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:57,415
♪ Might win an Oscar
You can never tell ♪
269
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:03,004
♪ The movie's gonna make me a big star ♪
270
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:07,300
♪ 'Cause I can play the part so well ♪
271
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:11,221
♪ Well, I hope you'll come and see me
In the movies ♪
272
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,806
Of course I'll be there.
273
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,350
♪ Then I know that you will plainly see ♪
274
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,935
Wow!
275
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:20,438
♪ The biggest fool
That ever hit the big time ♪
276
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:21,564
Oh, yes!
277
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,901
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
278
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:30,240
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
279
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,076
That was terrible.
280
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,911
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
281
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,541
[VICTOR PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC ON PIANO]
282
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,795
VICTOR: Come in, but you have to be
very quiet because I'm practicing.
283
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,550
Oh, Mr. Borge,
could I come in and hear you play?
284
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,801
VICTOR:
Yes, come right in.
285
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,429
-Oh, terrific!
VICTOR: Do be quiet.
286
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,682
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
287
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,684
-I'll be real quiet.
-Very good.
288
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,562
-What are you gonna play?
-I'm going to play some Beethoven.
289
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,356
I'm playing the "Moonlight Sonata"
by Beethoven.
290
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,233
Oh, go ahead, yes.
291
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,110
I don't think you will like it.
292
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,653
-Why?
-See what it says here?
293
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,739
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
294
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,367
-What does that mean?
-That means "with great dullness."
295
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:17,912
I don't think you would like that.
Not the way you came in here.
296
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,457
-Nah, that's...
-Oh, please, please. For me?
297
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,043
-Okay. You have to be quiet.
-Okay. Shh.
298
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,169
Shh.
299
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:31,384
That's the Spanish composer El Beethoven.
300
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,888
[PLAYING TENDER CLASSICAL MUSIC]
301
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,017
[PLAYS WRONG NOTE]
302
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,269
-Oh. Tsk.
-You made a mistake.
303
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:44,439
No, that's the way I wrote it.
304
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,691
Oh. Thank you.
305
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,694
[CONTINUES PLAYING]
306
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,496
Thank you.
307
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,999
You're welcome.
308
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,046
[SNORING]
309
00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:18,306
[CONTINUES PLAYING]
310
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:27,857
[MASHES NOTES]
311
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,276
FOZZIE:
Oh, wha...? What? Oh.
312
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,945
Mr. Borge, Mr. Borge.
313
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,113
[BUST SNORTS]
314
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,989
Is it all over?
315
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,951
That was fascinating.
316
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,953
You think that was fascinating?
317
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,164
Well, you can come back later
and watch me tie my shoes.
318
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,377
FOZZIE:
Ah.
319
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,420
[BABIES COOING]
320
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,464
Gee, Miss Piggy and the babies
seem to be getting along fine.
321
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,008
-Yeah, I don't understand it.
-Ah.
322
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,134
[KNOCKING]
323
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,636
KERMIT: Miss Piggy?
PIGGY: Oh, Kermie!
324
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,140
Uh, the babies and I
are having a wonderful time.
325
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:04,185
But don't come in now.
I'm just putting them down for their naps.
326
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:07,188
-Okay. We'll stop by later and check you.
-Yeah.
327
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,315
PIGGY: Uh, Scooter?
-Hmm?
328
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,818
Uh, has Kermit gone?
329
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,486
He's going downstairs.
330
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,364
Mm-hm. Get in here.
331
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,825
Ahh! Miss Piggy!
332
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:22,328
Don't say anything. Just close the door.
333
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,955
[GLASS SHATTERS]
334
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:26,124
[BABIES BABBLING AND GIGGLING]
335
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,172
[GLASS SHATTERS]
336
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:36,343
[THUDDING]
337
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,386
Scooter?
338
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:43,933
Get these babies out of here!
339
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,186
Come on, babies. Come on.
340
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,730
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC]
341
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,899
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
342
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,323
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
343
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,035
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
344
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:10,752
...turtle... we make the soup...
the turtle soup, yeah?
345
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,003
[HUMS]
346
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,005
Oh, turtle.
347
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:18,927
Huh. Turtle? Turtle, turtle?
Where are you?
348
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,221
[YELPING]
349
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,350
Turtle!
350
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:28,895
Turtle, turtle, turtle? Mm-hm.
351
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:36,653
Hey. Turtle. Come, come, come. Come, come.
352
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,781
Come here. Turtle. Oh.
353
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:45,578
Okay, turtle... coming out, turtle.
354
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,789
Turtle.
355
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:51,209
Turtle? Whoa! Hey, turtle! No!
356
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,252
[GUNSHOT]
357
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,628
[SCREAMS]
358
00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:55,630
[LAUGHS]
359
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,882
-Hey, Kermit. I'm back.
-Oh, good.
360
00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:00,552
-The babies are upstairs with Miss Piggy.
-Oh. Fine.
361
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,221
Incidentally, Bobby,
what was that all about?
362
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,974
-Oh, just an unpaid debt.
-Oh?
363
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:09,185
Well, actually,
I lost a lawsuit to the Tooth Fairy.
364
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,729
Ha-ha-ha. I know...
365
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,814
[CHEF SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
366
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,442
Okay, take it easy, Chef.
That wasn't my fault.
367
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:18,028
[MUTTERING GIBBERISH]
368
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,487
PIGGY:
Stay there.
369
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:20,697
Stay there!
370
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,990
Benson--! Oh.
371
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,743
Uh, Mr. Benson, your babies...
372
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:27,829
Come on, babies.
They're all safe and sound.
373
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:30,957
Uh, thanks, Miss Piggy.
Come on, babies, we're on next.
374
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,459
Come on downstairs. Come on.
375
00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:36,588
Kermie, what a fulfilling experience
this has been.
376
00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:40,258
Uh, well, face it, Miss Piggy,
you're just not the motherly type.
377
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:41,676
Oh, but I am.
378
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,845
-Goo-goo, Mama.
-Come to Mama.
379
00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,680
[BABY & PIGGY SCREAM]
380
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,808
It's okay, Piggy. I caught him.
381
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:51,561
Oh! Oh, thank goodness.
382
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,814
Piggy mommy. Kermie daddy.
383
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:59,152
Oh. Kermie?
384
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:02,238
-Hm?
-Out of the mouth of babes.
385
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:04,908
Listen, will you get on-stage?
You're on next.
386
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,451
On-stage, all you kids.
387
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,411
-Let's go.
-Come on, go, move it, move it.
388
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,871
I know, I know.
389
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:15,460
Ladies and gentlemen, here is Bobby Benson
conducting the Infant Symphony
390
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:20,965
in Tchaikovsky's "First Piano Concerto"
with our guest soloist, Mr. Victor Borge.
391
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:23,218
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
392
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:35,063
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my privilege now to play the...
393
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:40,485
Oh, part of, rather,
the Tchaikovsky "Piano Concerto" by...
394
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,612
By, uh...
395
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:44,864
By all means.
396
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:49,994
Uh, may I have the--?
397
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:53,248
Is this the orchestra?
398
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:55,250
Yep, that's my band.
399
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,796
Okay. If you are ready, please.
400
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,924
[PLAYING LIVELY CLASSICAL MUSIC]
401
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,437
You all right? You all right there?
402
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,897
Yeah, I got so... I got too excited.
403
00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:19,357
I know, I know.
404
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:21,609
It's a short piano. That's why...
405
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,611
Okay, if you will try it again.
406
00:23:24,654 --> 00:23:26,740
[PLAYING LIVELY CLASSICAL MUSIC]
407
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:13,328
[PLAYING LULLABY]
408
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:18,625
[PLAYING UPBEAT MARCH]
409
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,962
[CONTINUES PLAYING LULLABY]
410
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,633
[ALL PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
411
00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,225
[PLAYING UPBEAT NURSERY RHYME]
412
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,814
[PLAYING JAUNTY RAGTIME FINISH]
413
00:24:44,442 --> 00:24:47,529
Bravo. Bravo.
414
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,364
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
415
00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:52,659
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
416
00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:01,710
Okay, so another Muppet Show
has come to an end.
417
00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:04,212
Before we all sink slowly in the West,
418
00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:07,507
let us pause to say thank you
to a very special guest star.
419
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:10,593
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Victor Borge! Yay!
420
00:25:10,677 --> 00:25:12,679
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
421
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:17,934
Thank you very much, Kermit.
422
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:22,814
It has been a great experience,
particularly the Baby Band.
423
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,691
Come on, babies.
424
00:25:24,774 --> 00:25:28,153
Mr. Borge,
since you were our guest soloist tonight,
425
00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:31,489
the babies would like you
to have this baton as a souvenir.
426
00:25:31,573 --> 00:25:34,451
Oh, but you have given me so much already.
427
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,036
Oh, like what?
428
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,039
-Chicken pox.
-I know.
429
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:42,125
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
430
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,294
[ALL CHATTERING]
431
00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:46,463
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
432
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:22,040
Well, Borge played The Muppet Show.
433
00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:23,249
Yep. Who won?
434
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:25,919
This time, Victor was the loser.
30926
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