All language subtitles for The Muppet Show S03E12 Guest James Coco 1080p DSNP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-LAZY_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:01,501 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 2 00:00:01,584 --> 00:00:03,795 James Coco? James Coco? 3 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:06,006 Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Coco. 4 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:09,801 Ah, thank you, Scooter. Would you tell wardrobe I'd like this jacket pressed? 5 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:13,847 Sure. Hey, wardrobe, press that jacket! 6 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,144 Anything else? 7 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:26,484 No. Nothing. Nothing at all. Everything's just perfect. Really. 8 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:33,950 It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, James Coco. 9 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,077 Yeah! 10 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,621 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 11 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,718 ♪ It's time to play the music ♪ 12 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,720 ♪ It's time to light the lights ♪ 13 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:58,099 ♪ It's time to meet the Muppets On The Muppet Show tonight ♪ 14 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,435 ♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪ 15 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,479 ♪ It's time to dress up right ♪ 16 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,522 ♪ It's time to get things started ♪ 17 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,858 ♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪ 18 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,236 Here's your script! Whoa! 19 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:15,700 ♪ It's time to get things started On the most sensational, inspirational ♪ 20 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,036 ♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪ 21 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:20,789 ♪ This is what we call ♪ 22 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:24,084 ♪ The Muppet Show ♪ 23 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,504 [BLARING IN HARMONY] 24 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:35,053 Thank you, thank you, and welcome again to The Muppet Show, 25 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,388 where our guest star tonight 26 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:40,141 is the wonderful and very talented Mr. James Coco. 27 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:44,688 But first, we're going to open tonight's show with an underwater fantasy. 28 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:49,109 So without more ado, last one in is a sissy. 29 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:04,082 ♪ I'd like to be under the sea ♪ 30 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:07,627 ♪ In an octopus' garden in the shade ♪ 31 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,298 ♪ He'd let us in ♪ 32 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,342 ♪ Knows where we've been ♪ 33 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:17,929 ♪ In his octopus' garden in the shade ♪ 34 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:25,353 ♪ I'd ask my friends to come and see ♪ 35 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:30,400 ♪ An octopus' garden with me ♪ 36 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:35,030 ♪ I'd like to be under the sea ♪ 37 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:38,742 ♪ In an octopus' garden in the shade ♪ 38 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:45,457 -♪ We would be warm below the storm ♪ -♪ La, la, la, la ♪ 39 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,710 ♪ In our little hideaway Beneath the waves ♪ 40 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,212 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 41 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,717 -♪ Resting our head on the sea bed ♪ -♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 42 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,928 ♪ In an octopus' garden near a cave ♪ 43 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,848 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 44 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:06,644 ♪ We would sing and dance around ♪ 45 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:11,358 ♪ Because we know we can't be found ♪ 46 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:16,488 ♪ I'd like to be under the sea ♪ 47 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:21,034 ♪ In an octopus' garden in the shade ♪ 48 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,553 [YELLING] 49 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:47,811 ♪ We would shout and swim about ♪ 50 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,398 ♪ The coral that lies beneath the waves ♪ 51 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:08,498 ♪ We would be so happy, you and me ♪ 52 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:13,586 ♪ With no one there To tell us what to do ♪ 53 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:18,675 ♪ I'd like to be under the sea ♪ 54 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:23,638 ♪ In an octopus' garden with you ♪ 55 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:29,853 ♪ In an octopus' garden with you ♪ 56 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,525 Well, that was different. 57 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,235 -Did you like it? -No. 58 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,571 Then it wasn't different. 59 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,742 Did you get any water on the stage, boss? 60 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,536 Uh, yeah, but it's okay. The next act will take care of it. 61 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,497 Okay, dancing sponges, you're on. 62 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,792 Smart thinking. 63 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,087 [PANTING] 64 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,674 -How was I, Kermie? -You were great, Piggy. 65 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,802 Thank you, Kermie. You know, I really like the water. 66 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,471 -Well, I'm glad. -Mm-hm. 67 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:08,725 Which means after we're married, we can live at your place. 68 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,227 Yeah. 69 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:15,732 Kermie, would you help me take this mermaid outfit off? 70 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,902 -You want me to undo the zipper here? -Back there, the zipper. 71 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,028 [ZIPS] 72 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:23,865 Oh! Oh, what a relief. 73 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:28,620 Thank you. Oh, don't look, don't look. No peeking. 74 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,752 Did you get the stage all dried up? 75 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,922 -Oh, I think so. -Good. 76 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:47,681 And now, our very special guest star, James Coco, portraying a medium 77 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:51,434 who will attempt to predict the future of a character who has no future. 78 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,520 Curtain! 79 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,358 Boy, oh, boy, am I ever excited. 80 00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,403 I've never been to a real gypsy clairvoyant before. 81 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:05,198 They say that for 10 dollars, he'll read your mind. 82 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,034 I wonder what he'd see in mine. 83 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,704 Three dollars change. 84 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,713 [SINGS] 85 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:23,883 -Oh, are you Dr. Coco, the happy medium? -That's right. 86 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,928 -Oh. Yes. -And you are... 87 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,308 You are... 88 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,810 Fozzie Bear! 89 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,022 And I am seasick. 90 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,858 -Thank you, thank you. -Better? 91 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,944 -I've got to know one thing. -Yes, I can. 92 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:46,740 -Can you predict the future? -I just did. 93 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,866 Oh! 94 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:52,746 I want to know what my future in romance will be. 95 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:58,960 Let me see if my crystal ball will speak to me. 96 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,219 -Howdy. -Aah! 97 00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,597 -Bad news. -What? What? What? 98 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,891 It spoke to me. 99 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,144 Do you see a tall, cute stranger? 100 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:21,900 Could be taller. Could be cuter. But it couldn't be stranger. 101 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,236 Hi, Fozzie. 102 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,616 -Beauregard, I want to get my future told. -I want to get my head out. 103 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,410 I just want to get on with this sketch. 104 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,205 But-- But you're a medium. 105 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:39,417 Are you kidding? Medium? I'm an extra-large. 106 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,419 [GHOST LAUGHING] 107 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:47,217 Howdy, y'all. Are you the senior citizens of Abilene? 108 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,427 -No. -Uh, no, no, no. No, no. 109 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,347 Oh, shucks. I'm Chester Pugh. 110 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:56,518 -I'm due to show up at their seance. -Are you late? 111 00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:01,523 -Of course. I'm the late Chester Pugh. -Never. 112 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,400 Better late than never. 113 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,194 -But this isn't even a real seance. -It isn't? 114 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,779 Well, hold-- Wait, wait. 115 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:11,282 Jimmy, you mean he's not part of the sketch? 116 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,577 No. This is a show. 117 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,746 A show? 118 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,125 Well, say, I'd like to say hello to Maw and Paw 119 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,877 and all the night shift down at Schneider's. 120 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:26,131 And this one's for everybody on the other side. 121 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:30,719 ♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪ 122 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:36,599 ♪ The pipes, the pipes are callin' ♪ 123 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,226 -Huh? -No good. 124 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,021 -Why? -Just no rhythm, no pace. 125 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,024 -♪ And down the mountainside ♪ -Not even good looking. 126 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,776 -Oh. Jimmy? -Hm? 127 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,987 Jimmy, is this supposed to go this way? 128 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,574 Of course not. I didn't know we'd get a real ghost. 129 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,743 -Oh, look! -Help, help! 130 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,078 The table is levitating. 131 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,372 Beauregard, watch out. You're gonna get killed. 132 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,334 No, I'm gonna get lunch. 133 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,586 ♪ And I must bide ♪ 134 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,880 Well, what do we do now? 135 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,717 ♪ But I'll be here ♪ 136 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:16,139 ♪ In sunshine, or in shadow ♪ 137 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:21,269 ♪ Oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy ♪ 138 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:28,443 ♪ I love you so ♪ 139 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,699 What was that? 140 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,035 It's called "The Medium Sketch." 141 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,578 "The Medium Sketch?" 142 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:42,540 Yeah, it wasn't rare, and it certainly wasn't well done. 143 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,045 That was disgusting. 144 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,547 You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 145 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,342 Oh, that sketch was the last straw. 146 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,387 That does it. I am leaving. 147 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,555 Well? 148 00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:01,935 Don't you have anything to say to me before I go? 149 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,187 Uh... Oh, yeah. 150 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:08,149 On your way out, would you empty the garbage? 151 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,862 Beatnik. 152 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,700 I have spent my last moment in this theater. 153 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,660 Oh, that's too bad, Sam. 154 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,870 You're gonna miss my tribute to Beethoven. 155 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,331 I don't care. As long as... 156 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,167 -Beethoven? -Mm-hm. 157 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,919 Are you serious? 158 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:32,424 Would I joke about Beethoven? He's my idol. See? 159 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,469 Oh, Beethoven, at last. 160 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:41,099 Oh, well, for Beethoven, I'll stay. He's my favorite playwright. 161 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:46,271 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 162 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:49,190 ♪ All he had was eight little notes ♪ 163 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,942 ♪ Just eight little notes ♪ 164 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,527 ♪ But, oh ♪ 165 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:58,700 ♪ What Mr. B did With do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do ♪ 166 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,077 ♪ Though all he used Were eight little notes ♪ 167 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,747 ♪ Just eight, count them Eight like these ♪ 168 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,416 ♪ He'd mix and match and hatch a batch ♪ 169 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,002 ♪ Of catchy melodies ♪ 170 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:14,132 ♪ Now, I could take two notes And come up with nothing of note ♪ 171 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,634 ♪ Mr. B took a G ♪ 172 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,179 ♪ And a flattened E ♪ 173 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,139 ♪ And wrote ♪ 174 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,892 Wasn't that fantastic? 175 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,853 ♪ Though all he had Was eight little notes ♪ 176 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,439 ♪ Just eight little notes like these ♪ 177 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,732 ♪ Which goes to show ♪ 178 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:35,695 ♪ That one man's scale Is another man's symphonies ♪ 179 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,201 Oh, yeah. 180 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,870 [HUMMING] 181 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,123 ♪ Yet, all he had was eight little notes ♪ 182 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,459 ♪ Just eight little notes, just eight ♪ 183 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,003 ♪ But he wrote nine symphonies ♪ 184 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,798 ♪ And also some great ♪ 185 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,384 ♪ Quartets, quintets Fugues and cantatas ♪ 186 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,844 ♪ Plus, some opera and a few cantatas ♪ 187 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:05,016 ♪ Using only eight little notes in a row ♪ 188 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,519 ♪ Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do ♪ 189 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,938 ♪ Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do ♪ 190 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:14,275 -♪ Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do ♪ -♪ Do, ti, la, so, fa, mi, re, do ♪ 191 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,534 Okay, Robin, time to go to sleep. 192 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:26,204 But I can't, Uncle Kermit, I'm afraid of snakes. 193 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,708 Snakes? Uh, snakes? Well, uh... 194 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,836 [STAMMERING] Well, there aren't any snakes around here. 195 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,379 Unless they're under the bed. 196 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,630 [SHRIEKS] 197 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,592 Uh, no, no, no snakes under the bed. 198 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,554 This really isn't helping, Uncle Kermit. 199 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,848 Oh, well, listen, Robin. 200 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,975 If you just close your eyes and think about it, 201 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,478 why, snakes can be very beautiful. 202 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,149 [RATTLING] 203 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,151 [PUNGI PLAYING CHARMING MUSIC] 204 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,821 [BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING] 205 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,937 You know, Uncle Kermit, snakes are really very nice. 206 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,564 Thank you. 207 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,941 [SNAKES HISSING] 208 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:21,069 Uh, you're welcome. 209 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:29,119 Okay. Set up the kitchen. The Swedish Chef is on next. 210 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:33,164 Oh, Kermit, you have a terrific show here. 211 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,876 Oh. Oh, thank you, James. It's not exactly Broadway... 212 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,964 Oh, you mean with all the girls and the glitter and the razzle-dazzle? 213 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,508 -Yeah, I guess so. -You don't need it. 214 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,803 This show moves. It's got pace, pace, pace. 215 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,096 Know what I mean? 216 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,389 -Pace? -You got it. 217 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:55,103 You only need razzle-dazzle if you've got a dull, slow moving act. 218 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,897 But I have been watching this show. It is dynamic. 219 00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,483 It is full of sex appeal. It is fast paced. 220 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,737 You do not need razzle-dazzle. You have... 221 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:07,198 [SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 222 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,288 What is that? 223 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,374 Uh, the next act. 224 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,669 You need razzle-dazzle. 225 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:23,173 Look, get some musicians, chorus girls, dancers. 226 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,842 -Anything that moves. Quick. -Yes, I'm on my way. 227 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,763 Hurry, Kermit. What can I do about the lights? 228 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:36,978 Ah. Switch. There we go. Uh, wrong one. Fantastic. 229 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,150 [SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 230 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,740 ♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪ 231 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,241 [UTENSILS CLATTERING] 232 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,787 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 233 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,165 Banana-na-na-na-na-na. 234 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:02,671 Peel de banana-na-na-na-na. 235 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,468 The banana split. 236 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,346 [DANCERS SHOUTING IN SPANISH] 237 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:30,532 Where is the banana-na-na? 238 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,826 Banana split? 239 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,619 [DANCERS SHOUTING] 240 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,718 Aha. 241 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,928 Banana-na-na-na-na... 242 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:55,557 Peel. Banana-na-na-na peel. 243 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,394 Ho, ho. Dancer? 244 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,438 [DANCERS SHOUTING] 245 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:11,990 Whoa! 246 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:17,662 And now, banana split. 247 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,213 Well, the chef's done it again. 248 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,632 -Done what? -Nothing. 249 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,179 Is he gonna be all right? 250 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,350 I doubt it. He never has been. 251 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:42,479 -Well, what's next? -Uh, let's see. A singer. 252 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,897 Oh, good. Now we can relax. 253 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,232 Singing is always good. Music is terrific. 254 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,693 ♪ Catch a falling star ♪ 255 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:52,947 ♪ And put it in your pocket ♪ 256 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,746 Kermit, we have a lot of work to do. 257 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,337 ♪ Catch a falling star ♪ 258 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,048 ♪ And put it in your pocket ♪ 259 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:14,010 ♪ Save it for a rainy day ♪ 260 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:19,099 ♪ For love may come And tap you on the shoul... ♪ 261 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,809 Hey, your pants are on fire. 262 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:23,311 ♪ One star that ♪ 263 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:26,189 What are you doing? What are you doing? 264 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,441 No-- Ooh! Ow! Ow! 265 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,235 [SHOUTING] 266 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,740 Well, you can't win them all. 267 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,200 I'd settle for a tie. 268 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,244 Oh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! 269 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,414 What did you guys do to me? I almost got killed out there. 270 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:45,208 Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow! 271 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,168 Almost? 272 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:51,965 -What's next? -Let's see. Veterinarian's Hospital. 273 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,384 Veterinarian's Hospital? 274 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:59,097 Yeah, it's this part where we tell bad jokes and, uh... 275 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,599 And it's death. 276 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:05,228 Uh-huh. I have just the thing that will liven it up. 277 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,063 -It never fails. -Oh, yeah? 278 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:10,150 Uh-huh. Girls. 279 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:16,906 -Girls? Oh, yeah. Girls. -Right. Say it. Girls. Girls! 280 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,162 NARRATOR: Time now for Veterinarian's Hospital, 281 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:28,043 the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs. 282 00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,377 Say cheese. 283 00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:30,712 [GROANS] 284 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,130 Close enough. 285 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,050 -Rowlf, Rowlf, Rowlf. -Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. 286 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,678 Uh, now, yes, nurse. Tell me, what's wrong with this patient? 287 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:41,931 Oh, Dr. Bob, he has acute appendicitis. 288 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,352 I don't care how cute it is. It has to come out. 289 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:49,731 Music, lights, dancers. Quick! 290 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,776 [BROADWAY SHOW MUSIC PLAYING] 291 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:03,703 Dr. Bob, how can you concentrate with those girls dancing by? 292 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:06,998 Easy. I never take my eyes off them. 293 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:09,042 Bring on the girls, quick! 294 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,462 Here they come again. 295 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,427 That's the girls? 296 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,890 Dr. Bob, why do they keep dancing that way? 297 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,685 That's the way they get their kicks. 298 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:30,814 Wow, I'd love to be on Broadway. 299 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:35,694 Yeah, I can see your name in lights. Twenty-five watts. Ha-ha-ha. 300 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,905 Twenty-five watts? That's not very bright. 301 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,199 Look who's talking. 302 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,626 This is good. This is excellent. 303 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:55,630 I've changed my mind. I am not taking out the appendix. 304 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:59,300 -What are you taking out? -The blond on the end. 305 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:05,473 NARRATOR: And so we come to the end of another Veterinarian's Hospital. 306 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:09,102 Tune in next week when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say: 307 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,981 Dr. Bob, you cannot go out with a chorus girl. 308 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,691 What about the patient? 309 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,236 Why should I go out with someone who's sick? 310 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,242 -Any luck? -Nope. I checked all the doors. 311 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:26,619 They got us locked in. 312 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,747 [PIGGY SIGHS] 313 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,791 -Okay. -Kermit, what's with those showgirls? 314 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,626 We just kind of threw them in. 315 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,629 -Yeah? Well, throw them out. -Um, yeah. 316 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:39,341 Kermit, I'm ready for my closing number. 317 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:40,592 Oh? Oh, good. 318 00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:44,346 Listen, I realize things have been a little ragged so far, 319 00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:47,474 but wait until you see the closing number we have planned. 320 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:50,810 It's a wonderful thing. We have staircases and waterfalls. 321 00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:54,147 We have colored lights and wind machines and 38 chorus girls. 322 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,150 Does your shaking your head mean what I think it does? 323 00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:01,529 That's right. I'd really like-- I'd like a change of pace. 324 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:05,408 I'd like to do something simple. Something small. 325 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:09,579 -Closing numbers are big extravaganzas. -No, no, no. They're small. 326 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,707 -Small, Kermit. Small. -Small? 327 00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:14,793 -Yeah, but usually... -No, Kermit... 328 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:16,461 -Really small. -Really small? 329 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,588 -Yeah, small. Trust me. -Small? 330 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:21,800 Just introduce me. Kermit, you're gonna love it. 331 00:22:21,883 --> 00:22:26,137 I promise you, you're gonna love it. Just introduce me. 332 00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:31,267 Here once again, ladies and gentlemen, is our guest star, James Coco, 333 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,937 in a very small gigantic finale. 334 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,855 Hit it, guys. 335 00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:57,502 Hi, guys. You look gorgeous. Terrific. 336 00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:01,131 ♪ Short people got no reason ♪ 337 00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:04,009 ♪ Short people got no reason ♪ 338 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:08,638 ♪ Short people got no reason to live ♪ 339 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:12,100 ♪ They got little hands and little eyes ♪ 340 00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:14,936 ♪ And they go around Telling great big lies ♪ 341 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:17,897 ♪ They got little noses And tiny little teeth ♪ 342 00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:21,317 ♪ They wear platform shoes On their tiny little feet ♪ 343 00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:24,404 ♪ Well, I don't want no short people ♪ 344 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:27,282 ♪ I don't want no short people ♪ 345 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:31,494 ♪ I don't want no short people ♪ 'Round here ♪ 346 00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:45,467 ♪ Short people are just the same As you and I ♪ 347 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:47,344 ♪ A fool such as I ♪ 348 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:51,931 ♪ All men are brothers Until the day they die ♪ 349 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,391 ♪ It's a wonderful world ♪ 350 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:56,061 ♪ Short people got nobody ♪ 351 00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:59,022 ♪ Short people got nobody ♪ 352 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:04,027 ♪ Short people got nobody to love ♪ 353 00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:06,946 ♪ They got little baby legs And they stand so low ♪ 354 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:09,991 ♪ You got to pick him up Just to say hello ♪ 355 00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:12,786 ♪ They got little cars That go beep, beep, beep ♪ 356 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:16,122 ♪ They got little voices Going peep, peep, peep ♪ 357 00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:19,542 ♪ Grubby little fingers And dirty little minds ♪ 358 00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:21,544 ♪ They're gonna get you every time ♪ 359 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:25,298 ♪ No, I don't want no short people ♪ 360 00:24:25,382 --> 00:24:28,051 ♪ I don't want no short people ♪ 361 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:31,179 ♪ I don't want no short people 'Round here ♪ 362 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,601 I hope I haven't offended you. I was short once myself. 363 00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:51,199 [CHUCKLING] 364 00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:54,077 Hi, shorty. 365 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:03,962 Well, I think we've just about come down to the end of another one, 366 00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:08,800 because the next thing I'm going to do is ask our guest star to say good night. 367 00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:12,095 Mr. James Coco! Yeah! 368 00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:21,271 Ah, Kermit, thank you. I really enjoyed myself tonight. 369 00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:24,441 I'm glad, I just loved your number with the short people. 370 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:26,359 You don't think they resented it? 371 00:25:26,443 --> 00:25:29,654 Oh, no. They loved it. Right, short people? 372 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:31,698 [CHEERING] 373 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,744 -You were wonderful, all of you. MUPPET: Thank you, Jimmy. 374 00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:38,580 Whoa! Hey, hey! Put me down. Put me down! 375 00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:42,459 We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! 376 00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,753 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 377 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,790 Well, shall we leave? 378 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:25,543 Why should we leave now? The worst part's over. 28694

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