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1
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[KNOCK ON DOOR]
2
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Roy? Oh, Roy Clark?
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Clark.
3
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Thank you, buddy.
And, by the way, I've got a question.
4
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:14,556
I've got the cowboy suit I'm supposed
to be wear, but where's the chaps?
5
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:15,974
Hello, hello, hello.
6
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We're the pair of chaps
you asked to pop around.
7
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Hello, hello, hello.
8
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,399
It's a far cry from Oklahoma.
9
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It's The Muppet Show, with our very
special guest star, Roy Clark! Yay!
10
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
11
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,589
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
12
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,591
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
13
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:53,887
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
14
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
15
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,433
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
16
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
17
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,271
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
18
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,939
Hey! Somebody kill that light.
19
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,274
[GUNSHOTS]
20
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
21
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
22
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♪ This is what we call ♪
23
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
24
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Three times!
25
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,841
Thank you, thank you and welcome again
to The Muppet Show.
26
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Our show is going country tonight
because our special guest
27
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is one of the world's greatest
country music stars, Mr. Roy Clark.
28
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-And...
-To the country. Let's go.
29
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Everybody. Kermit, get dressed.
To the country!
30
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Wait, I said the show was going country,
31
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just because Roy Clark is our guest.
32
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One of my favorite performers.
33
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I didn't mean it would actually
be alfresco.
34
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,406
Oh, he's good too.
35
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:58,910
Excuse me. I thought you should know
the stagehands aren't here.
36
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,121
Yeah, yeah. I sent them all
to the country, yeah.
37
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,873
But, Fozzie, the show is staying here.
38
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,834
But they're in the country waiting for us.
39
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,128
-No! No, no.
-You said the show was going country.
40
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:11,423
-We gotta do the show right here.
-Don't shout, I'm just a bear.
41
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,633
You can't send the stagehands
to the country.
42
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I am doing the best I can.
Who's gonna shift the scenery?
43
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-Fozzie!
-What?
44
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,640
You are going to shift the scenery.
45
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:24,185
I am gonna shift the scenery?
46
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Fozzie?
47
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I am gonna shift the scenery.
48
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,568
I'm sorry about that, folks.
49
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,694
[CLEARS THROAT]
50
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,195
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
51
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,615
the multitudinously talented
Mr. Roy Clark.
52
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-What do I here?
-Open the curtains!
53
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,037
Yes, sir, yes, sir, yes.
54
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,421
♪ Rocky Top, you'll always be ♪
55
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:18,008
♪ Home sweet home to me ♪
56
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,302
♪ Good ol' Rocky Top ♪
57
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,806
♪ Rocky Top, Tennessee ♪
58
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,351
♪ Rocky Top, Tennessee ♪
59
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:35,734
♪ Rocky Top, Tennessee ♪
60
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:52,250
-I wonder how they do that.
-Do what?
61
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:04,387
Man, that Roy Clark
sure is a numerous person.
62
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,934
Boy, you can say that again.
63
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:13,063
How, how does he do that?
64
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,607
-Fozzie.
-Oh, yes, sir.
65
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,693
There's not a stagehand in the theater,
thanks to you.
66
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,111
Thank you, you're welcome.
67
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,365
Listen, listen, Fozzie.
You got us into this mess.
68
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,283
You are responsible for it.
69
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,328
-If anything goes wrong here, Fozzie...
-Yes, sir?
70
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,330
You are fired!
71
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,916
Fi-- Fi-- Fired?
72
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:36,378
Oh, no. Oh, my nerves are shot.
73
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:40,882
Still. Heh. What could go wrong?
I mean, the stage is set.
74
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,801
-The star has arrived.
-Fozzie.
75
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,761
-Audience is happy.
-The theater's on fire.
76
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,888
The theater's on fire.
77
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:50,517
The theater's on fire?
78
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,268
[COUGHING]
79
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[SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
80
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,323
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
81
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,908
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
82
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,160
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
83
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:12,330
[HUMMING]
84
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,222
[DOUGH GROWLING]
85
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:44,029
Roll the dough. Naughty dough.
86
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,740
[DOUGH GRUMBLING AND GROWLING]
87
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,040
Hey, let go. Hey, let go.
88
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,292
DOUGH:
Yah!
89
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,213
Fire! Fire!
90
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,716
-Chef, fire! Fire!
-Fozzie.
91
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:08,345
-What's going on?
-Oh. Oh, hi. Nothing.
92
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:15,310
I was just saying that I'm glad nothing
else is going wrong or I'd get fired.
93
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:20,231
-What's all this smoke?
-Uh, that's not smoke.
94
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,524
-It's not smoke?
-No, no.
95
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,109
Then what is it?
96
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,864
-Jet exhaust.
-Jet exhaust?
97
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,492
Just what I was going to say. Yes. Yes.
98
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,952
Oh, look out, here comes another one.
Duck.
99
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,080
[FOZZIE MIMICS JET ENGINE ROARING]
100
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,706
-You okay? You okay?
-What was that?
101
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:40,502
Oh, boy, that was a close one.
Those planes get lower every day.
102
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,922
-Fozzie, I didn't see any plane.
-Yeah, they get faster too.
103
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:48,468
Boy, oh, boy. Listen. You go tell
Roy Clark to keep his head down, okay?
104
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,804
-All right.
-I'll phone the airport. Another one!
105
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,807
-What? What?
-Get down.
106
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,351
Hello, operator?
107
00:07:56,434 --> 00:08:00,480
How soon can you get me the, uh,
the fire department, huh?
108
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,275
That soon, huh?
109
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:13,034
NARRATOR:
And now, Pigs in Space!
110
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,745
When we last left
the rocket ship Swinetrek,
111
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:22,127
it was drifting aimlessly in space due to
a power failure in the control panel.
112
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,045
Oh, First Mate Piggy.
113
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,674
If Dr. Strangepork can't restore power
to the control panel,
114
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:31,636
-we'll be marooned in space forever.
-Oh, no.
115
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,638
Well, look at the bright side, my dear.
116
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,975
At least you will spend
the rest of your days with me.
117
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,895
That's the bright side?
118
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,815
Well, I fixed the control panel.
119
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,400
Oh, that's wonderful, doctor.
120
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,028
Yeah, it was faulty wiring.
121
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,448
-Nice work, Dr. Strangepork.
-Oh, it was nothing, Link.
122
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,618
Actually, I just used some vials
from the electric toaster.
123
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,747
Good thinking. Here. I'll try it.
124
00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,873
[SHRIEKS]
125
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:01,875
Uh-oh.
126
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,377
That's all right, doctor.
It's kind of funny.
127
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,004
Yeah. Ha, ha.
128
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:11,301
You see, that's what you'd call
raising a pig.
129
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,219
Raising a pig. Ha, ha.
130
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,722
She has her ups and downs.
131
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:19,726
Oh, oh, so, so, so, you think
that's funny, huh?
132
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:23,021
-Well, it's your turn, Linko.
-What?
133
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,149
Thought you had me, didn't you?
134
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,275
[PIGGY GRUMBLES]
135
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,158
-Why don't you try this one right here?
-I am not that stupid.
136
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,285
Well, then I'll try it.
137
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,082
He was that stupid.
138
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,877
I want my mommy.
139
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:51,466
-Still think it's funny, bacon brain?
-We've gotta get Dr. Strangepork back.
140
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:58,515
-Hey, I'm not supposed to be here, right?
-Right.
141
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,935
What? What happened?
142
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,853
[CHICKEN CLUCKING, BEAKER SHRIEKS]
143
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,897
Beaker!
144
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,371
I don't believe that.
145
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:25,417
I'm not supposed to be here either, right?
146
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,843
[MELLOW FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
147
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,985
♪ Yesterday ♪
148
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:55,280
♪ When I was young ♪
149
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,575
♪ The taste of life was sweet ♪
150
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,494
♪ As rain upon my tongue ♪
151
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,164
♪ I teased at life ♪
152
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:07,792
♪ As if it were a foolish game ♪
153
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:10,670
♪ The way the evening breeze ♪
154
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,590
♪ May tease a candle flame ♪
155
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,926
♪ The thousand dreams I dreamed ♪
156
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,180
♪ And the splendid things I planned ♪
157
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,891
♪ I always built, alas ♪
158
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:26,102
♪ On weak and shifting sand ♪
159
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,605
♪ I lived by night ♪
160
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,608
♪ And I shunned the naked light of day ♪
161
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,819
♪ And only now I see ♪
162
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,947
♪ How the years ran away ♪
163
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:43,661
♪ Yesterday when I was young ♪
164
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:46,831
♪ So many happy songs ♪
165
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,709
♪ Were waiting to be sung ♪
166
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,962
♪ So many wild pleasures ♪
167
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,882
♪ Lay in store for me ♪
168
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,884
♪ And so much pain ♪
169
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,680
♪ My dazzled eyes refused to see ♪
170
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,766
♪ I ran so fast that time ♪
171
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:08,019
♪ And youth, at last, ran out ♪
172
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,563
♪ I never stopped to think ♪
173
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:14,275
♪ What life was all about ♪
174
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,070
♪ And every conversation ♪
175
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,823
♪ I can now recall ♪
176
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,034
♪ Concerns itself with me ♪
177
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:26,287
♪ And nothing else at all ♪
178
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,594
♪ Yesterday ♪
179
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,305
♪ The moon was blue ♪
180
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,891
♪ Every crazy day ♪
181
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,811
♪ Brought something new to do ♪
182
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:53,064
♪ I used my magic age ♪
183
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:55,775
♪ As if it were a wand ♪
184
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,862
♪ And never saw all the waste ♪
185
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,656
♪ And the emptiness beyond ♪
186
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,659
♪ The game of love I played ♪
187
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:07,662
♪ With arrogance and pride ♪
188
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,623
♪ And every flame I lit ♪
189
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,626
♪ Too quickly, quickly died ♪
190
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,420
♪ The friends I made ♪
191
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:19,841
♪ All seemed, somehow, to drift away ♪
192
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,177
♪ Only I am left ♪
193
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,472
♪ On stage to end the play ♪
194
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,683
♪ There are so many songs ♪
195
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,978
♪ In me that won't be sung ♪
196
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,230
♪ I feel the bitter taste ♪
197
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,859
♪ Of tears upon my tongue ♪
198
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:41,613
♪ The time has come for me to pay ♪
199
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,657
♪ For yesterday ♪
200
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:49,537
♪ When I was young ♪
201
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,726
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
there's a, uh, situation backstage
202
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,312
-you should know about.
-Hey, we're here.
203
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:18,400
-Oh, the firemen. Oh, yes.
-Yeah, yeah, we're here to audition.
204
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,902
Audition?
Where's your equipment for the fire?
205
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,613
-Hoses, axes?
-Oh, yeah, we brought one of those.
206
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,783
-You've got an ax.
-No, an act.
207
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,036
-An act?
-Yeah, we're the Singing Firemen.
208
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,541
But there's a fire over here. See these--
We are-- But, listen...
209
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:39,629
♪ I don't want to set the world ♪
210
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:42,632
♪ On fire ♪
211
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,092
[FOZZIE YELLING]
212
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,179
♪ I just want to start ♪
213
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,515
♪ A flame in your ♪
214
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:54,811
-♪ Heart ♪
-♪ A flame in your heart ♪
215
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,147
♪ In my heart I have but one desire ♪
216
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,940
Uh, excuse me, guys.
217
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:02,569
Some people have to work around here.
Excuse me.
218
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:07,615
-♪ And that one is you ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
219
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:13,788
-♪ No other will do ♪
-♪ No other will do ♪
220
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,832
♪ I've lost all ambition ♪
221
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:16,958
[FOZZIE COUGHING]
222
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,002
♪ For worldly acclaim ♪
223
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:23,548
♪ I just want to be the one you love ♪
224
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:28,636
♪ And with your admission
That you feel the same ♪
225
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,599
♪ I'll have reached the goal
I'm dreaming of ♪
226
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:36,978
♪ Believe me ♪
227
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:41,191
♪ I don't want to set the world ♪
228
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,817
♪ On fire ♪
229
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,987
I didn't have to. It started already.
230
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:50,700
♪ I just want to start a flame ♪
231
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:55,080
♪ A flame ♪
232
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:58,166
♪ In your heart ♪
233
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,626
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
234
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,129
Don't worry, I'll save you. I'll save you.
235
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:08,468
Are you proud of yourselves?
You made this chicken a nervous wreck.
236
00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,933
Hey, Roy,
that was a beautiful song you did.
237
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,352
And I loved the one where you did
all the instruments.
238
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,729
Thank you, but it's not really that hard.
239
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,315
-I come from a musical family.
-Oh, really?
240
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,818
Sure. My dad plays and all my uncles.
241
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,987
We used to get together
when I was a child, and play music.
242
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:31,825
Oh, wow. And how many of those
instruments can you actually play?
243
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,161
-Can I actually play, Kermit? Actually.
-Yes?
244
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:38,456
-One out of five'd be a good average.
-One out of five.
245
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,667
I attempt to play about seven or eight.
246
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,128
-You did very well on that number.
-Thank you.
247
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:47,215
-I loved the trumpet.
-I thought maybe you'd bring that up.
248
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:50,760
-Yes, that was outstanding.
-Uh, outstanding?
249
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:54,305
I should be out standing in the field
somewhere with my trumpet?
250
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,558
Well, I-- I didn't say that, Roy.
251
00:16:56,641 --> 00:17:00,395
Anyhow, I suppose you're really just
born into show business, actually?
252
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:04,983
Kind of, but my dad still runs the farm
back in Virginia, where he keeps chickens
253
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:08,153
and I get to missing the place,
out traveling all the time.
254
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:12,115
Well, we could make you feel right
at home, because we keep chickens.
255
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,284
-Really?
-Sure. See there?
256
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,618
[CLUCKING]
257
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:19,789
Kermit, if you keep chickens,
could you keep these away?
258
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:24,210
Well, I-- Yes, I will.
We also keep ducks, you know.
259
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,337
Right there.
260
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,504
[QUACKING]
261
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:29,341
Uh, you have any soup
to go with these quackers?
262
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,469
Know what kind of joke
we call that in Virginia?
263
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,636
Bad?
264
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,638
You stepped right in the middle
of that one.
265
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:39,309
Yes, indeed. Hey, about some pigs, Roy?
Pigs. Pigs? Huh?
266
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,978
-Or even cattle?
-Fantastic.
267
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,104
[MOOING]
268
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:46,691
-How many head of cattle do you have?
-Uh, one. Uh, one head of cow.
269
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,653
I gotta tell you.
This is like being back on the farm.
270
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,323
-Yeah, isn't it great?
-Sure is. Free eggs.
271
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,493
Fried chicken on Sunday.
Bacon for breakfast.
272
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,913
Roast duck at Christmas.
All the ham sandwiches you can eat.
273
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,915
This place is like
a walk-in lunch counter.
274
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:06,169
Uh, Roy, it may look like a luncheon,
but it can soon turn into a lynching.
275
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:10,048
Hold it. Wait a minute. Wait. Hold it.
276
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:15,053
-I was only kidding. I was kidding!
-He was kidding.
277
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:18,139
[BALLROOM DANCE COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
278
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,894
Oh, I hate barn dances.
279
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:26,439
Only reason I come is for the door prize.
280
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,275
Well, what's the prize?
281
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:33,029
A free ticket to the next barn dance.
282
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,827
You know, my husband weighs five tons.
283
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:42,747
Oh, that sounds like a lot of bull.
284
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:46,584
It is, darling. It is.
285
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,756
Oh, why don't y'all run away with me?
286
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:56,344
I can't.
I gotta think of the wife and eggs.
287
00:18:58,013 --> 00:19:01,725
Uh, why is that rooster
winking at your wife?
288
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,686
I think he's trying to get my goat.
289
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,693
Say, what's your brother-in-law
doing up there?
290
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:15,613
Oh, he's trying to start the ceiling fan.
It stopped.
291
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,615
[FAN WHIRRING, CHICKEN CLUCKS]
292
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,118
Looks like he got it started.
293
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,911
[SNEEZING]
294
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,041
Hey, come on, come on.
295
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,460
Keep those buckets moving. Come on, guys.
296
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:32,964
Oh, boy.
Remember how the theater was on fire?
297
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:34,716
Well, it still is.
298
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,844
-Oh, come on, guys. Faster. Faster.
-Fozzie.
299
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,764
-Oh! Oh, yes, yes, sir.
-What is going on here?
300
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,141
-Yes. Going on.
-Where is this smoke coming from?
301
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:47,270
Smoke, yes. Smoke.
Uh, oh, didn't you get a cigar?
302
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,439
-Cigar?
-Yeah, yes.
303
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,691
-Uh, a cigar for the frog.
-What, what?
304
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:57,238
Yeah. Tell me, have you any idea
what it feels like to be a father?
305
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:59,115
No, no.
306
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,951
Pity. I was hoping you could tell me.
307
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,745
Uh, Fozzie.
308
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:07,457
-I want an explanation.
-Oh, dear, yes. I was afraid of that.
309
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,959
Explanation. Uh, Chef, Chef.
Chef, come here.
310
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:13,213
Explain to the frog all the things here.
Explain.
311
00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:14,589
What? What?
312
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,383
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
313
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,308
What's going--? No. No, I want water.
314
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,311
Will you stop that?
315
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:32,732
Give me the bucket.
No, I want a full bucket, you fool.
316
00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:36,069
Will you get away from me?
Will you stop crying?
317
00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:38,738
Uh, okay. Uh, whatever.
318
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:40,198
Ladies and gentlemen.
319
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:44,160
Uh, in his premiere presentation
of immortal perfection,
320
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,955
otherwise known as rank stupidity.
321
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:50,000
Uh, The Great Gonzo
will yodel Rimsky-Korsakov
322
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:54,629
while riding on a motorized pogo stick.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Great Gonzo!
323
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:57,382
Howdy, hi! Thank you very much.
324
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,217
Hold on to your socks, here it comes.
325
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,468
[LAUGHS]
326
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,637
[YODELING]
327
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,597
[POGO STICK MOTOR RUNNING]
328
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,982
[GONZO YELLING]
329
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:20,905
[CRASHING]
330
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:27,120
Gonzo?
Hey, we can't have a hole in the stage.
331
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,040
-Fozzie, carpenter.
-Uh, carpenter coming. Yes, sir.
332
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,083
-Hole in the stage.
-Where's the hole?
333
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:35,128
-Uh, right over there.
-Oh, there. Yes, sir. Oh, boy.
334
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:39,007
-Take the lights off the stage.
-Yes, sir. Scooter, lights off!
335
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:41,676
-Oh, boy.
-Fozzie. Now I can't see a thing.
336
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,220
-Where are you?
-Uh, I'm over here by the hole.
337
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,722
I'll follow the sound of your...
338
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:46,890
[SCREAMS]
339
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:50,185
Oh, no! Oh, Kermit, are you hurt?
340
00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:53,396
KERMIT:
I-- Not too bad. I landed on Gonzo.
341
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,984
Uh, I'll do the intro.
Uh, Scooter, lights. Oh, boy.
342
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:01,529
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Roy Clark.
343
00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:05,200
Curtains! Oh, that's me.
344
00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:13,792
[UPBEAT TUNE PLAYING]
345
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:18,713
♪ Sally used to carry my books to school ♪
346
00:22:18,797 --> 00:22:21,174
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
347
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:23,968
♪ She helped me with my homework
'Cause I was a fool ♪
348
00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:26,262
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
349
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:29,307
♪ And if you wanted a kiss
Or a little bitty squeeze ♪
350
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:31,935
♪ She was always willing
And do her best to please ♪
351
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:34,688
♪ A girl made to love
And not made to tease ♪
352
00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:37,190
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
353
00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,734
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
354
00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:42,112
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
355
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:45,281
♪ No matter what the request
She gave it her best ♪
356
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,826
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
357
00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:50,578
♪ Her folks were poor
So she helped all she could ♪
358
00:22:50,662 --> 00:22:52,706
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
359
00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:55,709
♪ She was the hardest working girl
In the whole neighborhood ♪
360
00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:58,003
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
361
00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:00,964
♪ She'd walk up and down
The streets all day ♪
362
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:03,258
♪ Selling neckties
To the ones who could pay ♪
363
00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:06,052
♪ But if they couldn't afford 'em
Then she'd give 'em away ♪
364
00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:08,847
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
365
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:11,391
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
366
00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:13,810
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
367
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:16,813
♪ No matter what the request
She gave it her best ♪
368
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,399
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
369
00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:21,484
[CLUCKING TO MELODY]
370
00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:32,620
♪ She was a favorite with all the men ♪
371
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:35,081
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
372
00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:37,667
♪ And all the ladies despised her then ♪
373
00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:40,337
♪ But Sally was a good old girl ♪
374
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,964
♪ All the ladies talked about her
But Sally didn't care ♪
375
00:23:43,048 --> 00:23:45,800
♪ She just kept on a-working
And a-doing her share ♪
376
00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:48,511
♪ She wound up married to a millionaire ♪
377
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:51,222
♪ 'Cause Sally was a good old girl ♪
378
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:53,850
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
379
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:56,811
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
380
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:59,564
♪ No matter what the request
She gave her best ♪
381
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:02,233
-♪ Gotta tell ya 'bout Sally ♪
-♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
382
00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:04,819
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
383
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:06,780
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
384
00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:10,075
♪ No matter what the request
She gave her best ♪
385
00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:17,040
♪ Sally was a good old girl ♪
386
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:28,176
That just about wraps up tonight's show.
387
00:24:28,259 --> 00:24:31,304
I must say, I know how it feels.
388
00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:33,807
Kermit, Kermit. Please don't fire me.
389
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:35,850
Oh, beg, grovel, plead, please.
390
00:24:35,934 --> 00:24:38,603
-Okay. Okay, okay.
-Thank you.
391
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:41,606
Listen, I'm really sorry about,
you know, the stagehands
392
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,275
-and the hole in the floor there.
-The hole.
393
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,528
Oh, and the fire, and the rest of it.
394
00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:52,367
-Fire? We had a fire here?
-No.
395
00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:55,120
-Huh?
-Uh, I mean-- Well, at least, yes.
396
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:57,580
A cute, little small one.
397
00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,457
-Fozzie!
-Oh, please.
398
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:01,918
You wouldn't hit a bear
in front of a guest star?
399
00:25:02,002 --> 00:25:04,004
What does that have to do with anything?
400
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:08,174
-Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Roy Clark!
-Roy Clark. Yeah!
401
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:11,594
Roy Clark, yes. Yes.
402
00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:21,646
Whoo-hoo!
403
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:24,482
Yes! Yes!
404
00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:27,193
You are one hot fiddle player.
What is your secret?
405
00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:29,612
Just a hot fiddle.
406
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:35,535
Fire! Fire! Fire!
407
00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:37,746
[CRASHING]
408
00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:40,040
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
409
00:25:40,123 --> 00:25:42,417
Up here! Roy!
410
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,836
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
411
00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:22,457
I thought for once
the show really caught fire.
412
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:26,044
I thought it burnt itself out,
same as always.
31569
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