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Teresa Brewer!
Thirteen seconds to curtain, Miss Brewer.
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Everything all right?
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Actually, I could use a hand.
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You want a hand, you got it.
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Anything else?
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It's The Muppet Show,
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with our special guest star,
Miss Teresa Brewer.
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
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Can I see your ticket stub?
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[HONKS]
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Sorry. Sorry.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you,
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and welcome again to The Muppet Show,
where anything can happen.
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Unfortunately.
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Uh, but on the bright side,
our special guest star
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is one of the great names
in popular music.
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Here she is now, Miss Teresa Brewer!
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[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]
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♪ When I was a little bitty baby ♪
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♪ My mama would rock me in the cradle ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ When I was a little bitty baby ♪
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♪ My mama would rock me in the cradle ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ Oh, when them cotton bolls get rotten ♪
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♪ You don't pick a-very much cotton ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ It was down in Louisiana ♪
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♪ Just about a mile from Texarkana ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ You may say I'm a little bit lazy ♪
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♪ But picking cotton picking
Will drive you crazy ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ You may say I'm a little bit lazy ♪
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♪ But picking cotton picking
Will drive you crazy ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ Oh, when them cotton bolls get rotten ♪
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♪ You don't pick a-very much cotton ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ It was down in Louisiana ♪
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♪ Just about a mile from Texarkana ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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[YODELING]
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♪ When I was a little bitty baby ♪
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♪ My mama would rock me in the cradle ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ When I was a little bitty baby ♪
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♪ My mama would rock me in the cradle ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ Oh, when them cotton bolls get rotten ♪
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♪ You don't pick a-very much cotton ♪
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♪ In them old cotton fields back home ♪
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♪ It was down in Louisiana ♪
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♪ Just about a mile from Texarkana ♪
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♪ In them old ♪
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♪ Old ♪
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♪ Old cotton fields back home ♪
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Mm. I can remember when cotton was king.
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You can remember when Arthur was king.
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Okay, you guys really bailed out
that number, ha, ha. Very nice.
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-Hey, Kermit?
-Hmm?
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Have you decided what you'll do about
Miss Piggy's big ballet number next week?
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Yeah, I'm afraid
we're gonna have to cut it.
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-Ahh!
-But why?
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00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,385
Have you seen Miss Piggy recently?
She's getting a little bulgy.
76
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You know,
the pork no longer fits in the barrel.
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Mm. Yeah, her wiggles
are beginning to waddle a little.
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[KERMIT CHUCKLES]
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Yeah, that's the way the old pork rolls.
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Um... Heh.
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-Hello, Kermie.
-Hi, Miss Piggy.
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Um... Oh. I have a wonderful announcement
to make.
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I know it sounds silly,
but I am going on a diet.
84
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-A diet? What a wonderful idea.
-Mm-hm. Yes.
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Uh, how much weight do you plan to lose?
86
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Oh, I don't know, maybe five...
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-Oh, mm-hm.
-Ten.
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-Ten...
-Yeah?
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-Fifteen.
-Do I hear 20?
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-Twenty pounds.
-Sold!
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For my, uh, new ballet number!
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Do you think she overheard?
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NARRATOR:
And now
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[IN ECHOING VOICE]
Pigs In Space.
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Starring the indomitable
Captain Link Hogthrob,
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the flappable first mate, Miss Piggy,
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and the inexplicable Dr. Strangepork.
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As we left our heroes last time,
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Captain Hogthrob had just discovered
the awful truth.
100
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Yes, captain,
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our oxygen is almost gone,
fuel supplies are down to nothing,
102
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and the water is all used up.
103
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Oh, captain, my captain, what shall we do?
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Egad, we're out of water, fuel and oxygen?
105
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-Oh... Oh...
-What could be worse?
106
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Captain, we're out of swill!
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[STRANGEPORK & HOGTHROB GASP]
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-Out of swill?
-Oh, not swill!
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[SOBBING]
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Wait a minute.
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I thought this was
a serious science-fiction story.
112
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Yes, but we've got 25 adult pigs
on this spaceship.
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We can't survive without swill.
114
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What do you suggest, captain?
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Miss Piggy, go cook us some swill.
116
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Ugh. Me?
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I'm the first mate.
I'm supposed to give orders.
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Fine, then give us 25 orders of swill.
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Heh-heh-heh. And one side of coleslaw.
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[LAUGHING]
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Besides, I am a gourmet cook.
122
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Good, then give us 25 orders
of swill stroganoff.
123
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[STRANGEPORK LAUGHING]
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All right, that does it.
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I refuse to continue this sketch,
you hear me?
126
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What sketch? This is the Swinetrek.
We're lost in endless space.
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This is a cheap-shot comedy sketch,
128
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and I'll lay you odds the frog wrote it.
129
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-Hi.
-Ahh!
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Hey, you guys,
Kermit says get on with the sketch.
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[ALARM BLARING]
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Red alert! Emergency!
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A hideous space creature
has boarded the ship!
134
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-Where?
-A hideous space creature from space!
135
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,100
-We are doomed!
-I'm not a space creature.
136
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STRANGEPORK:
Not without a fight, we're not!
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[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
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NARRATOR:
Tune in next time for the beginning of
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Pigs in Space.
140
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[PLAYING CLASSIC ROCK MUSIC]
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♪ Wild thing ♪
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♪ I make your heart sing ♪
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♪ I make everything ♪
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♪ Wild thing ♪
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[GRUNTING]
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♪ Wild thing ♪
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[GRUNTING]
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[YELLS]
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♪ Wild thing! ♪
150
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,090
♪ I make your heart sing ♪
151
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♪ I make everything, ah ♪
152
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♪ Wild thing, I think I love me ♪
153
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♪ Wild thing ♪
154
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♪ Wild thing! ♪
155
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♪ Wild thing! ♪
156
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♪ Wild thing! ♪
157
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♪ Wild thing! Wild thing! Wild thing! ♪
158
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♪ Wild thing! ♪
159
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Wild thing! Wild thing! Wild thing!
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Wild thing! Wild...!
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I wonder where they took him.
162
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Well, wherever it is,
I bet it's more fun than here.
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[WALDORF LAUGHS]
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Ladies and gentlemen, in a major feat
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of death-defying intellectualism
never seen before, ahem,
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The Great Gonzo will recite Shakespeare
167
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while suspended by his nose
168
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,020
from a feather boa nine feet in the air.
169
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,440
Whew. Ladies and gentlemen,
The Great Gonzo!
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00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,071
The Merchant of Venice.
171
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,448
Act 1, Scene 1.
172
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Antonio speaks:
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In sooth, I know not why I am so sad.
174
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It wearies me. You say--
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[GASPING]
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[SNEEZES]
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[GONZO CRASHES]
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Ahem. Excuse me, Miss Brewer?
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I was wondering
if I could ask your advice,
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you know, ahem, woman to woman.
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Why, sure, Miss Piggy.
182
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,394
Well, I have this friend
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who is absolutely devastating,
184
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,443
except she has
an itty-bitty weight problem.
185
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What makes you think I know anything
about being fat?
186
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Oh, Miss Brewer, I've always known
that you were one of us skinny people.
187
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,870
I thought that maybe
you might have heard something
188
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:05,248
from one of your fat friends.
189
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,083
-Well, maybe I can help.
-Oh.
190
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,919
I was about to have some lunch.
Would you care to join me?
191
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,213
Uh... Uh, well...
192
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,340
You know...
193
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,551
Oh! Oh. Perhaps a nibble, ahem.
194
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,304
It's such a relief to meet someone
who isn't on a diet.
195
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,681
-Yes, yes. Yes.
-They're such bores.
196
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:26,311
You know, all they ever talk about
is calories and exercise and lettuce.
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00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,604
[SNORTING]
198
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-Well, let's eat.
-Now you're talking.
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00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,858
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
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TERESA:
Come in.
201
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,614
Oh, Miss Brewer,
I thought that number was so great,
202
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that "Cotton Fields" thing.
203
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,241
It was just beautiful.
204
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,451
Thank you, Kermit.
205
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,702
-Uh, Piggy.
-Hmm?
206
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,829
You're supposed to be on a diet.
207
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:48,124
You weren't thinking of doing anything
with that cake there,
208
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,335
were you, Fat Stuff?
209
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,631
Oh. Not until now.
210
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,840
KERMIT:
Hmm? Oh--
211
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,389
How about that? Frosted frog.
212
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,723
PIGGY:
Hi-yah!
213
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,937
[BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
214
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:18,697
I lost 180 pounds of ugly fat
in just one week.
215
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,448
Oh? How'd you do that?
216
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,283
I divorced my husband.
217
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,535
[LAUGHS]
218
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,746
I went on a new diet last week.
219
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,582
I eat nothing but carrots
three times a day.
220
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,043
-Oh. How's it working?
-Fine.
221
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,212
[LAUGHING]
222
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,884
As far as I'm concerned,
being fat's all in your head.
223
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,762
I don't think it's all in your head.
224
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,852
And then she had the nerve
to tell me that I was overweight.
225
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,312
Can you believe that? Overweight?
226
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,606
Isn't that the most absurd thing
you ever hear--?
227
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,733
[FLOOR CRUMBLES]
228
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,735
[BOTH SCREAM THEN THUD]
229
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:57,986
[SCREAMING]
230
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:09,164
Here's a little number now
that we dedicate to my favorite food,
231
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:12,125
and we call it "Cheesecake."
232
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,086
One and two and...
233
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,172
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
234
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♪ Oh, cheesecake
Munching on a cheesecake ♪
235
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,843
♪ Munching on a cheesecake ♪
236
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,971
♪ Yeah, cheesecake
Munching on a cheesecake ♪
237
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,223
♪ Munching on a cheesecake ♪
238
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,517
♪ Ah, cheesecake, gobble, gobble ♪
239
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,395
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble
Cheesecake ♪
240
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,647
♪ Ba-doop, ba-da
Cheesecake, gobble, gobble ♪
241
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,567
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble
Cheesecake ♪
242
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:43,365
♪ Oh, my girl, she's crazy
Over cheesecake all the time ♪
243
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:48,286
♪ So I bring her cheesecake
And she treats me mighty fine ♪
244
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:51,039
♪ Ma-dubba-dubba, cheesecake
Munching on a cheesecake ♪
245
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,874
♪ Munching on a cheesecake ♪
246
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,459
-♪ Cheesecake! ♪
-♪ Ba-dubba-dubba
247
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,211
♪ Cheesecake
Munching on a cheesecake ♪
248
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,129
♪ Munching on a cheesecake ♪
249
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,799
-♪ Cheesecake! ♪
-♪ Yeah, cheesecake, gobble, gobble ♪
250
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,301
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble
Cheesecake ♪
251
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,887
-♪ Cheesecake! ♪
-♪ Oh, cheesecake, gobble, gobble ♪
252
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,473
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble
Cheesecake ♪
253
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,599
♪ Cheesecake! ♪
254
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,688
♪ Cheesecake! ♪
255
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,856
[DR. TEETH SCATTING]
256
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,193
ALL:
♪ Cheesecake! ♪
257
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,487
[SCATTING]
258
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,407
ALL:
♪ Cheesecake! ♪
259
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,453
ALL:
♪ Cheesecake! ♪
260
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:35,500
♪ Yes, my girl, she's crazy
Over cheesecake all the time ♪
261
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:40,422
♪ So I bring her a cheesecake
And she scoo-bop ba-dum my ear ♪
262
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,966
♪ Oh, cheesecake
Munching on a cheesecake ♪
263
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,926
♪ Munching on a cheesecake ♪
264
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,469
ALL: ♪ Cheesecake! ♪
-♪ Bo-bo-bo ♪
265
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,221
♪ Cheesecake
Munching on a cheesecake ♪
266
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,015
♪ Munching on a cheesecake ♪
267
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,641
-♪ Cheesecake! ♪
-♪ Ba-dubba-dubba ♪
268
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,059
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble ♪
269
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,311
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble
Cheesecake ♪
270
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,688
-♪ Cheesecake! ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
271
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,106
♪ Cheesecake, gobble, gobble ♪
272
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,442
♪ Cheesecake, crazy over cheesecake ♪
273
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,568
♪ Cheesecake! ♪
274
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,779
MONSTER:
Oh, cheesecake? Mm! Oh, cheesecake!
275
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,866
I'm getting out of here
while the getting's good.
276
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,242
[MONSTERS CHATTERING]
277
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,412
You know, this is really amazing, Teresa.
278
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:16,124
You've got the autograph of every big star
in show business in that book.
279
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:19,044
-It's a hobby I started when I was a kid.
-Is that right?
280
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,629
I always get the autographs
of all the people I work with.
281
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,174
Oh, look at that. There's Bing Crosby.
282
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,675
You've got Bob Hope.
283
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,677
And Louis Armstrong.
284
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,472
Wait a second. Whose autograph is that?
285
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,265
Crazy Harry.
286
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,351
[LAUGHS]
287
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,894
Want another one?
288
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,896
No, it's all right.
289
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,942
I didn't know you were getting autographs
of us Muppets.
290
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:47,364
Of course. I think I've got
just about all of the Muppets' autographs.
291
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,991
Well, you haven't gotten all of them.
292
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:53,661
You know, you're right.
I'm missing the most important one.
293
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:56,373
Ah, ahem, well, uh, gee...
294
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,000
You know, the collection
would be worthless without it.
295
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:02,295
Yeah, well, I, uh-- Ahem.
I don't know what to say.
296
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,924
Well, just tell me
how to get Animal's autograph.
297
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,050
Animal?
298
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,761
ANIMAL:
Autograph!
299
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,930
[ANIMAL YELLING]
300
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,557
[ANIMAL LAUGHING]
301
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,810
[IMITATING ANIMAL]
I love it!
302
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,104
[ANIMAL LAUGHING]
303
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:24,317
Welcome again to Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
304
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,904
And it's breakthrough time
here at the labs again.
305
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:32,867
Well, here it is,
the all-new Muppets' electric nose warmer.
306
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,747
Yes, how many times have you been outdoors
on a cold, nippy day
307
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,958
and gotten your nose cold?
308
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:43,003
"Wouldn't it be nice,"
you thought to yourself,
309
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,630
"if I could warm it electrically?"
310
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,799
Well, now you can,
311
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:51,845
as my assistant, Beaker,
will now demonstrate.
312
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,765
Come on in here, Beaker.
We're just going to slip-- Come here.
313
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,184
We're just going to slip this
on your nose.
314
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:01,521
There you go. All the way up.
315
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,232
There.
316
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:09,154
And now with the nose warmer in place,
we have only to turn on the electricity.
317
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,114
[WHIMPERING]
318
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,283
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
319
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:19,247
And there's Beaker
with a nice toasty warm nose.
320
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,750
You really should stop smoking, Beaker.
321
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,919
It's very bad for your health.
322
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,255
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
323
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,424
[BOTH YELPING]
324
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,305
Yeah, that was great. Fantastic.
325
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,140
Eh, didn't like it.
326
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,143
Well, what would you know,
you old fool? Heh.
327
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,771
Don't call me an old fool.
I'll give you the evil eye.
328
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:46,358
Ooh, I'm scared, I'm scared. Heh, heh.
329
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,692
[YELLS]
330
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,696
I warned him.
331
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:55,033
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT DOO-WOP MUSIC]
332
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,496
♪ You can rock it, you can roll it ♪
333
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,581
♪ You can stop and even stroll it
At the hop ♪
334
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,625
FROGS:
♪ Hop-hop, hop, hop ♪
335
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,085
♪ When the record starts a-spinnin' ♪
336
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,087
♪ You calypso when you chicken
At the hop ♪
337
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,255
FROGS:
♪ Hop-hop, hop, hop ♪
338
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:10,632
♪ So do the dance sensation ♪
339
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,634
♪ That is sweeping the nation
At the hop ♪
340
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,678
FROGS:
♪ Hop-hop, hop, hop ♪
341
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,680
ALL:
♪ Well, let's go to the hop ♪
342
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,890
Yeah, really. Come on and do the hop.
343
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,559
-Hey, guys? No, finish the song, guys.
FROGS: Hop, hop, hop.
344
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,437
Could you...? Never mind.
345
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,025
[SIGHS]
346
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:32,070
Oh! I am so hungry!
347
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,863
[SIGHS]
348
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:37,909
It's been 20 whole minutes
I've been on this diet.
349
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,577
[PANTING]
350
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:43,540
Well, let's see.
I hope I haven't lost too much weight.
351
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,625
[GASPS]
352
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:50,547
Oh! You are ravishing! Oh.
353
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,216
All right, it's weigh-in time.
354
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,761
All right, scale, give me the good news.
355
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,641
Liar! Hi-yah!
356
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,727
[GONGS]
357
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,064
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC]
358
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:17,657
♪ What goes up must come down ♪
359
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:34,090
It's the old girl-swing-monster bit again.
360
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,092
They tried to sneak it past us.
361
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,804
Mm. Shoddy. Shoddy. Hmph.
362
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:53,109
♪ What goes up must come down ♪
363
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,862
[TERESA CRASHING]
364
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,748
[GRUNTS]
365
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,172
I think it's getting better.
366
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,966
I think you're getting senile.
367
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:30,855
♪ What goes up must come down ♪
368
00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:34,359
♪ Spinning wheel spinning around ♪
369
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,334
[MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
370
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,130
MAN [ON TV]: Well, hi there, fatties,
and welcome to The Chub Club,
371
00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:59,092
the only TV show
where we lose viewers by the ton.
372
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,552
[MAN LAUGHS]
373
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,722
Well, chubbies,
ready to lose a little lard?
374
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,141
Ready to lose a few tubes?
375
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,435
Let's start with a little exercise,
shall we?
376
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,769
All right.
377
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:12,856
Okay, chin up, chest out, deep breath.
378
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:17,485
Touching toes. One, two, one, two.
379
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,739
-One, two, one, two.
-Unh. Unh.
380
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:23,700
-One, two, one, two...
-All right, take a hike.
381
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,910
Ready? Stop.
382
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,288
Next exercise, leg lifts. Okay.
383
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:32,042
-Lie down on the floor on your back.
-Oh. Wait a sec... Okay. Unh!
384
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:35,003
-Lift legs high up in the air. Ready?
-Yeah.
385
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:38,673
-Lift. Up, down.
-Unh. Oh, you've gotta be kidding.
386
00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:39,841
[GRUNTS]
387
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,510
-Up.
-Hoy...
388
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,888
-Down.
-Unh! Aah!
389
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,014
Up.
390
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:48,641
-I'm trying!
-Down.
391
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,852
Very good. Everybody on your feet.
392
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:51,978
[GROANS]
393
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:54,481
Next exercise, running in place.
394
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:57,233
-Yeah, okay.
-Here we go. Ready? Run.
395
00:21:57,317 --> 00:22:00,403
One, two, one, two, one, two.
396
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,948
One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two.
397
00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:06,659
[PANTING]
398
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,037
Alrighty.
399
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:13,583
Can't you just feel that fat falling away?
400
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:16,586
[SCREAMS THEN CRASHES]
401
00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:19,214
Ladies and gentlemen, once again,
402
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:22,884
our very special guest star,
Miss Teresa Brewer!
403
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,559
Hey, now we'll really hear some music.
404
00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:35,897
-Yeah, want music.
-Put another nickel in.
405
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:39,025
I put nickel in. Want music.
406
00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:40,985
Put another nickel in.
407
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:43,029
-Ahh.
-Man.
408
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:45,699
I put nickel in! Want music!
409
00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:48,910
-Just listen, Fuzzy Face.
-Fuzzy Face.
410
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,662
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]
411
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,330
ANIMAL:
Ah.
412
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:04,968
♪ Put another nickel in
In the nickelodeon ♪
413
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:10,015
♪ All I want is lovin' you
And music, music, music ♪
414
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:15,020
♪ I'd do anything for you
Anything you'd want me to ♪
415
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:19,858
♪ All I want is kissin' you
And music, music, music ♪
416
00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:24,237
♪ Closer
My dear, come closer ♪
417
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:29,993
♪ The nicest part of any melody
Is when you're dancing close to me ♪
418
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:35,331
♪ So put another nickel in
In the nickelodeon ♪
419
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:40,503
♪ All I want is lovin' you
And music, music, music ♪
420
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:15,622
♪ Put another nickel in
In the nickelodeon ♪
421
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:20,460
♪ All I want is lovin' you
And music, music, music ♪
422
00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:25,715
♪ I'd do anything for you
Anything you'd want me to ♪
423
00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:30,762
♪ All I want is kissin' you
And music, music, music ♪
424
00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:34,891
♪ Closer
My dear, come closer ♪
425
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:40,689
♪ The nicest part of any melody
Is when you're dancing close to me ♪
426
00:24:40,772 --> 00:24:45,985
♪ So put another nickel in
In the nickelodeon ♪
427
00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:50,699
♪ All I want is lovin' you
And music, music, music ♪
428
00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:53,785
♪ Music, music, music ♪
429
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:56,287
♪ Music, music, music ♪
430
00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:58,873
♪ Music, music, music ♪
431
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:00,834
♪ Music, music, music ♪
432
00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:02,043
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
433
00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:15,515
Well, that's all the time and jokes
we have left for this show.
434
00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:17,559
But before we go,
let's have a great big hand
435
00:25:17,642 --> 00:25:19,769
for Miss Teresa Brewer!
436
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:22,689
Thank you. Thank you.
437
00:25:22,772 --> 00:25:26,484
And now how about a nice big hand
for Kermit the Frog?
438
00:25:26,568 --> 00:25:28,737
Aw, thank you-- Aah!
439
00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:32,282
I guess I deserved that.
440
00:25:32,365 --> 00:25:37,120
Okay, everybody, when the pig exercises,
everybody exercises!
441
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:39,873
Running in place. One, two, three...
442
00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:43,043
Okay, well, we'll see you all next time
on The Muppet Show!
443
00:25:43,126 --> 00:25:45,879
That's right, keep going.
One, two, three, four.
444
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:47,797
Come on, Teresa, let's do it.
445
00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,800
One, two. Yes, yes.
One, two, one, two, one two!
446
00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:55,305
Go on, get out of here, creep.
One, two, one, two, one, two...
447
00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:57,515
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
448
00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:24,417
Well, they did it again.
449
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:26,461
Yeah, whatever it was.
450
00:26:26,544 --> 00:26:28,254
[BOTH LAUGH]
33613
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