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[KNOCK]
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Lou Rawls? Oh, Lou Rawls?
Twenty-four seconds to curtain, Mr. Rawls.
3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:10,301
-Thank you, Scooter.
-Mr. Rawls. I wanted to tell you
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,554
that I greatly respect your talent
5
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and I've followed your career
from its very beginning.
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Thank you, Sam.
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It's just too bad it has to end here.
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It's The Muppet Show with our
very special guest star, Mr. Lou Rawls!
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
10
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
11
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
12
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
13
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
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-We're old men.
-Give us a break.
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
18
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
20
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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Green smoke.
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Thank you, thank you,
and welcome to The Muppet Show.
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Hey, tonight's show is very special
24
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because our guest star
is the great Mr. Lou Rawls.
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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But first, to get things started,
here's our own Fozzie Bear,
27
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who will perform for you tonight
on roller skates!
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Kermit, I think the act needs
just a bit more rehearsal!
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[LOUD CRASH]
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Well, uh, so much for the opening number.
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Uh, now, we suddenly arrive
at guest star time.
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[WHIMPERING]
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Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Lou Rawls!
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[BAND PLAYING R&B MUSIC]
35
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♪ I like groovy people ♪
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♪ I like to be around
The groovy, groovy people, yes ♪
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♪ Now, I don't like nobody ♪
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♪ That's got an ego ♪
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♪ Don't like to sit around
And hold a conversation ♪
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♪ With somebody who don't know
Where he wants to go ♪
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CHORUS:
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
42
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♪ Give me the simple life
Full of fun and joy ♪
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♪ Can't you see
I'm just a big old country boy ♪
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-♪ Hey, and I like groovy people ♪
-♪ Groovy people ♪
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♪ I like to be around
The groovy, groovy people, yeah ♪
46
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-♪ Groovy people ♪
-♪ Well, well, well, well, now ♪
47
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-♪ Shooby doo-wop ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
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-♪ I tell you, I don't like nobody ♪
-♪ Shooby doo wop ♪
49
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,015
-♪ Shooby doo wop ♪
-♪ That's got an attitude ♪
50
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,602
♪ Walking around
With their nose in the air ♪
51
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♪ Those kind of people, I just can't use
You know what I'm talking about? ♪
52
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♪ I like to be relaxed
With my mind at ease ♪
53
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♪ The best things in life
Is all I want for me ♪
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♪ That's all l I want, ya dig? ♪
55
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-♪ Give me some groovy people ♪
-♪ Groovy people ♪
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♪ I'm talking about
The groovy, groovy people, yeah ♪
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-♪ Groovy ♪
-♪ Groovy, groovy, groovy ♪
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♪ Oh, I like groovy people, well ♪
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♪ I tell you now, my baby, oh, darling ♪
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♪ We don't have to put up
With jive-time folks no more ♪
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♪ Let's pretend that we're not at home ♪
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♪ When they come knocking on our door ♪
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♪ I don't like nosy people
Know what I'm talking about? ♪
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-♪ Shooby doo wop ♪
-♪ Gettin' in my business and things ♪
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♪ Well, I've been through
All of that, baby ♪
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♪ And I know the bad feeling
That it brings ♪
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00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:06,079
♪ Give me the simple life
Full of fun and joy ♪
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00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:10,375
♪ Can't you see
I'm just a big old country boy? ♪
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-♪ Country boy, and I like groovy people ♪
-♪ Groovy people ♪
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♪ I like to be around
The groovy, groovy people, yeah ♪
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-♪ Groovy, groovy, groovy ♪
-♪ How I like groovy people, yeah ♪
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-♪ I'm talking about people ♪
-♪ Shooby doo wop ♪
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-♪ I can hold a conversation with ♪
-♪ Shooby doo wop ♪
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♪ Talking about groovy people, yeah ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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That Lou Rawls is one fantastic singer.
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Yeah, so am I. You wanna hear me sing?
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Only if you sing solo.
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-Solo?
-So low I can't hear. Ha-ha-ha.
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Okay, nice and groovy, guys. Very groovy.
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00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,391
Hey, chief. I thought Fozzie
was gonna do the opening spot.
82
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That was the plan. He wasn't quite ready,
so we switched numbers.
83
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So, what happens now? A news flash
or Fozzie's roller skating act?
84
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[FOZZIE YELLS]
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[CRASHING]
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I'll tell the news man he's on.
87
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NEWSCASTER:
Here is a Muppet news flash.
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Dateline, New York.
Medical science has been baffled
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by a sudden epidemic
of the rare disease Mallarditis.
90
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The illness strikes very quickly
and causes its victim to turn into a duck.
91
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Mallarditis?
That's the silliest thing I ever...
92
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[QUACKING]
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NARRATOR:
And now Veterinarian's Hospital,
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00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:03,071
the continuing story of a quack
who has gone to the dogs.
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On to the next patient.
96
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,701
What's this? He was here a minute ago.
97
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,453
Wow, this is happening a lot lately.
98
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:14,249
-What is?
-Dr. Bob is losing his patients.
99
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,751
That's untrue. I never lose my patience!
100
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:20,672
What about the patient
you accidentally fed nitroglycerin to?
101
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Him, I lost.
102
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,261
-But I found him again.
-Where?
103
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In Iowa, Minnesota,
North and South Dakota.
104
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That was him all over.
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NARRATOR: Once again,
Dr. Bob has come to nothing.
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Tune in next time
when you will hear him say:
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-Hey! Who are you?
-Who?
108
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-You.
-You know, the voice we keep hearing.
109
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:51,036
I'm the announcer. The guy who says,
"And now Veterinarian's Hospital,
110
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:55,665
the continuing story
of a quack who has gone to the dogs."
111
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,878
Well, on to the next patient.
What's this? He was here a minute ago.
112
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,505
-Oh, wow, this is happening a lot lately.
-What is?
113
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,633
-Dr. Bob is losing his patients. Ha-ha-ha!
-Ha, ha!
114
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,635
Untrue! I never lose my patience!
115
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,472
What about the one
you fed nitroglycerin to?
116
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Him, I lost.
117
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,225
-But I found him again.
-Where?
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In Maryland, Virginia,
North and South Carolina.
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ALL:
That's him all over!
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00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,944
NARRATOR: And so Dr. Bob
has done all the same jokes twice.
121
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Tune in next time
when you will hear Nurse Janice say:
122
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Shall we go for thirds?
123
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:34,245
No, that would try my patience.
124
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,081
You don't have any patients.
125
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,959
I would if it weren't
for that dumb nitroglycerin.
126
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,508
Hey, Floyd, Animal. What's happening?
127
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-Hey, Lou Rawls. Whoa, Animal!
-Hey.
128
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:53,515
Hey, good to see you.
I'm just out walking the drummer.
129
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,476
Walking the drummer?
Wait, is he friend or foe, man?
130
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,686
Oh, yeah. Well...
131
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[ANIMAL SHOUTING]
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-Lou Rawls!
-Heel, Animal!
133
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-Heel!
-Heel, heel, heel.
134
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,028
Yeah, well, he's a big fan, Lou.
135
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,698
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, he bought all your albums.
136
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:14,703
-Oh, you like them, Animal?
-Uh-huh. Delicious!
137
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:21,626
Yeah, well, let me tell you something.
You play the drums so good, man.
138
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,379
You really lay down some great percussion.
139
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,091
-You know what I'm talking about?
-Percussion! Wha...
140
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,676
[ANIMAL LAUGHS]
141
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:34,347
Lou, you sort of have to consider Animal
as your basic primitive man.
142
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,975
-You have to know how to talk to him.
-Oh, yeah?
143
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,978
Well, how do you tell the man
his work with the sticks really is down.
144
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,606
I mean, he can put some soul in the bowl.
You know what I mean?
145
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,900
-Okay, that's easy.
-Yeah?
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-Animal.
-Yeah?
147
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,822
-Good drummer!
-Good drummer! Good drummer!
148
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,284
Yeah, that's a good drummer.
149
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,078
Yeah. Well, listen, let me tell you this.
150
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,873
Look, I've got this long road gig
coming up.
151
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,500
And I'm short a drummer.
Think he'd be interested?
152
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:06,755
Oh, no, you couldn't take Animal
on any long road trips, Lou.
153
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:10,759
-Why not? The cat's good.
-You couldn't get a long enough chain.
154
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,928
Chain! Chain! Chain!
155
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,935
Hey. Come on, Floyd, just let me
discuss it with him man to man.
156
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:24,522
Man to man? This dude don't know Animal.
157
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,444
Okay, Lou, there's his chain.
158
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,280
-But could I just ask one favor?
-Yeah, baby.
159
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,366
Yeah, don't let him chase any cars, okay?
160
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[CAR PASSING]
161
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-Don't let him chase any cars?
-Cars!
162
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:43,458
-Oh, I think I blew that gig.
ANIMAL: Cars!
163
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[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
164
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I see. I'll tell him.
165
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,677
Hey, Kermit. The Swedish Chef
says he's not ready to go on.
166
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,012
You said he'd be on the second half.
167
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,682
[FOZZIE YELLS]
168
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,395
Listen, Chef,
we've had to move things around.
169
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:07,691
Kermit!
170
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:11,194
Uh, in fact, some things
are moving around a lot.
171
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:16,908
I think I've almost got it licked, Kermit!
172
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,119
[CRASHING]
173
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Emphasis on the "almost."
174
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:29,629
-Okay. Let's go, Chef. You're on now.
-Come on. Okay. Okay.
175
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,423
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
176
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,179
[SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
177
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,515
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
178
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,812
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
179
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,566
Sleecy, slicey, kneefy, knifey.
180
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,362
The frog's legs.
181
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,658
Uncle Kermit, somebody, anybody. Help!
182
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:03,747
-Wait a minute! Hold it! Stop! Cut! Cut!
-Don't say "cut," say "stop"!
183
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,710
[BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
184
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:19,554
So you say your boyfriend's name is Sy?
Sy who?
185
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,139
Clops!
186
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:27,687
So, uh, what did you think
of the movie Jaws?
187
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,071
Excuse me. Are you the monster
who swallowed my harmonica?
188
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,655
[HARMONICA PLAYS]
189
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,869
So how are the kids, Flo?
190
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,788
Oh, not too good.
191
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:49,459
One of the chicks just came down
with the "people pox."
192
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,922
My horoscope said
I should be careful today
193
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,925
or some great physical harm
could befall me.
194
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,302
Oh, that's a lot of silly superstition.
195
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,679
[SCREAMS]
196
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:14,109
♪ I love to linger in the moonlight ♪
197
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:18,029
♪ On Honolulu Bay ♪
198
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,242
♪ Fond memories cling to me by moonlight ♪
199
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:26,621
♪ Although I'm far away ♪
200
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:29,457
-♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪
-♪ And all the beaches ♪
201
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:30,583
♪ Are full of peaches ♪
202
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:34,421
-♪ Boom, boom ♪
-♪ Who bring their ukes along ♪
203
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,717
♪ And in the glimmer of the moonlight ♪
204
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,971
♪ They love to sing this song ♪
205
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:47,475
-♪ If you like a ukulele lady ♪
-♪ You like a ukulele lady ♪
206
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:51,146
♪ Ukulele lady like a-you ♪
207
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:55,442
♪ If you like to linger where it's shady ♪
208
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:59,237
♪ Ukulele lady linger too ♪
209
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,450
♪ If you kiss a ukulele lady ♪
210
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:07,162
♪ And you promise ever to be true ♪
211
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:12,334
♪ And she sees another ukulele lady ♪
212
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,879
♪ Fooling around with you ♪
213
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:20,091
-♪ Maybe she'll cry ♪
-♪ An awful lot ♪
214
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,677
♪ Maybe she'll sigh ♪
215
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:28,767
♪ And maybe not
Maybe she'll find somebody else ♪
216
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:32,020
♪ By and by ♪
217
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:36,358
♪ To sing to when it's cool and shady ♪
218
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:39,611
♪ When it's really wicky wacky woo ♪
219
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:44,324
♪ If you like a ukulele lady ♪
220
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,576
♪ Ukulele lady like a-you ♪
221
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,121
♪ If you like me like I like a-you ♪
222
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:54,209
♪ And we both like the same ♪
223
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:58,713
♪ Well, I'd like to say this very day ♪
224
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:03,051
♪ Ukulele lady like a-you ♪
225
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,971
♪ Lady ♪
226
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:10,308
♪ Ukulele lady like a-you ♪
227
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:16,898
♪ You ♪
228
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:34,666
♪ Climb up on my knee, Sonny Boy ♪
229
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:39,504
♪ You are only three, Sonny Boy ♪
230
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:45,176
♪ You've no way of knowing
There's no way of showing ♪
231
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:51,558
♪ What you mean to me, Sonny Boy ♪
232
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:56,312
♪ When there are gray skies ♪
233
00:14:56,396 --> 00:15:00,859
♪ I don't mind the gray skies ♪
234
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:07,198
♪ You make them blue, Sonny Boy ♪
235
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:13,538
♪ Friends may forsake me ♪
236
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:17,667
♪ Let them all forsake me ♪
237
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:24,382
♪ You'll pull me through, Sonny Boy ♪
238
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:32,849
Oh, my son, when you grow up,
you know you might be a halfback.
239
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,310
Or you might even be a fullback.
240
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:41,274
Or if you really persevere,
you might grow up and be a football.
241
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:47,947
♪ When there are gray skies ♪
242
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:52,077
♪ I don't mind the gray skies ♪
243
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:58,833
♪ You'll pull me through, Sonny Boy ♪
244
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:05,632
♪ When I'm old and gray, son ♪
245
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:09,886
♪ Promise you won't stray, son ♪
246
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:16,976
♪ For I love you so, Sonny Boy ♪
247
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,117
-Thanks.
-You know, Lou, it's great having you.
248
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,786
Thank you, Kermit.
It's really a gas to be here.
249
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,997
Well, you know,
I got all your records back at my pad.
250
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,082
Oh.
251
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:44,379
Uh, pad, uh, frog... Lily pad.
That's a, uh... A little joke there.
252
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:48,049
Only possibly, Kermit. Only possibly.
253
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:53,054
Hey, listen, Lou. Could you tell us
the secret of singing jazz like you do?
254
00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:56,558
Well, Kermit, all you have to do really
is just kind of lay back
255
00:16:56,641 --> 00:17:02,230
and lay down some golden tones
with soul and style.
256
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:06,943
Sure, you just gotta lay back
and lay down some golden tones
257
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,237
with soul and style.
258
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,989
Mm. Heh.
259
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,742
It doesn't even sound the same
when I say it.
260
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:17,287
Hey, but listen, would you do
a little bit of that for us now?
261
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,290
-No. No, no. No.
-No?
262
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:24,044
You see, Kermit, you really can't
sing jazz without soft lights,
263
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,004
a little atmosphere.
264
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:30,008
-And you gotta have a band.
-Oh, well, listen, you got it.
265
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:34,554
Hey, Kermit, this is an inspiration
and an open invitation
266
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:38,767
-for some soulful syncopation.
-Does that mean something good?
267
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:42,437
-It means let's sing.
-Wonderful. I'll just be over here.
268
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,688
Right.
269
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:48,109
♪ Pack up all my care and woe
Here I go, singing low ♪
270
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,694
♪ Bye, bye ♪
271
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,613
Hold it, Floyd. Be cool, now.
Wait a minute.
272
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:55,033
♪ Somewhere somebody's waiting for me
Sugar is sweet, so is she ♪
273
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:58,953
♪ Goodbye
Bye, you jive turkey you ♪
274
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:02,374
♪ Nobody near can love or understand me ♪
275
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,794
♪ Oh, what hard luck stories
They all each and everybody hands me ♪
276
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:09,464
♪ Make my bed, light the light
But I might not get home tonight ♪
277
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,132
♪ Chicken? ♪
278
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,842
♪ Turkey? ♪
279
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:15,804
♪ Owl, parakeet, parrot
Pheasant, partridge ♪
280
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:20,141
♪ Mynah bird, kiwi bird, hummingbird
Jay bird, red bird, bluebird, Big Bird ♪
281
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,018
[SCATTING]
282
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,439
[SCATTING]
283
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:14,279
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
284
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:21,161
-I just love scat.
-What?
285
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:25,040
-Scat! Scat!
-What? Is there a pussycat in here?
286
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,794
Okay, great number.
I loved it. I loved it.
287
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,796
Let's see. Uh, now, where's Fozzie?
288
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,008
If he's gonna do that roller skating act,
it'll have to be soon.
289
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,135
[FOZZIE LAUGHING]
290
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,472
Whoa!
291
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,809
Ah, very good, Fozzie. You ready to go on?
292
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,812
I'm ready, Kermit.
I'm just sorry I took so long.
293
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:53,735
But I want you to know, it's tough.
Roller skating is very, very difficult.
294
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,695
[SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
295
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,998
Easy for you to say!
296
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,500
Whoa!
297
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:11,836
[CLEARS THROAT]
298
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,299
Welcome again to Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
299
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:20,512
Our latest development
is the nuclear-powered shaver.
300
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:25,517
The honor of shaving for the
very first time with a nuclear shaver
301
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:30,689
goes to my faithful lab assistant, Beaker.
Come on in here.
302
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,191
It's all right. Come on. There you go.
303
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,860
[MUMBLING]
304
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:40,115
In order to protect Beaker's
fluffy orange hair from nuclear fallout,
305
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:41,366
[SHRIEKS]
306
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:44,994
he will wear this protective helmet,
which is...
307
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,079
[GRUNTS]
308
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,455
made of solid lead.
309
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:51,793
Bend over, Beaker. Here.
Come on. Hurry up. Bend over.
310
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,045
There.
311
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,756
All right. Up you go.
312
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,801
Now Beaker is ready for the demonstration.
313
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,894
Notice how effective the lead helmet is.
314
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:12,731
Now, Beaker doesn't need a shave.
315
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:14,691
[CHUCKLES]
316
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:19,571
Uh, as you may have noticed,
Fozzie has taken up roller skating.
317
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:25,076
So here he is with funny jokes
and figure eights, Mr. Fozzie Bear!
318
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,620
Hiya! Hiya! Hiya!
319
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:33,752
How about that? Haven't told one joke
and I'm rolling already.
320
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,170
Whoa! Whoa!
321
00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:41,176
Not bad on a 10-cent pair of skates, huh?
Speaking of cheapskates...
322
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:45,513
Nice blend, Fozzie. Thank you, Fozzie!
323
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,267
Hey. The next joke I'm gonna tell,
324
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:53,605
I'm gonna do it while skating
a figure eight. Here goes...
325
00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:55,982
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
326
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:58,068
Speaking of cheapskates,
327
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,945
I know a guy so cheap,
when he goes fishing,
328
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:06,242
he puts a picture of a worm on his hook
and he catches a picture of a fish.
329
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:11,456
Hey, this is a great way for Fozzie
to do his material.
330
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,209
Yeah, a moving target is harder to hit!
331
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:18,463
Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.
I'm gonna tell this next joke
332
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,799
while skating backwards,
333
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:25,178
and with my foot in the air,
wiggling my ears. Here goes...
334
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,972
[GRUNTING]
335
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:33,561
Okay, a guy walks in to a diner.
There's a horse behind the counter.
336
00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:35,522
The guy just looks at the horse.
337
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:39,401
The horse says, "What's the matter,
surprised to see me here?"
338
00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:42,654
And the guy says,
"Yeah, did the cow sell the place?"
339
00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:43,988
[YELLS]
340
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,365
[CRASHING]
341
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:49,327
Ho, ho! He was doing okay
till he fell off the stage.
342
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:53,164
Wrong. He was doing okay
until he came on the stage.
343
00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:55,750
[FOZZIE GROANING]
344
00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:58,628
"Did the cow sell the place?" Ha-ha-ha.
345
00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:04,926
And now, once again, this time
backed by the big band of Dr. Teeth,
346
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:08,221
here he is, Mr. Lou Rawls!
347
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:10,807
[PLAYING BIG BAND MUSIC]
348
00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:19,357
♪ I've been all over the world ♪
349
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:22,444
♪ And I've seen all kinds of girls ♪
350
00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:26,865
♪ But, baby, let me tell you
That you're the one ♪
351
00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:34,205
♪ You know that I met this girl
In Hong Kong ♪
352
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:37,375
♪ She said her name was Susie Wong ♪
353
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:43,214
♪ But, baby, let me tell you
That you're the one ♪
354
00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:47,427
♪ I'm trying to tell you
That you're the one ♪
355
00:23:48,887 --> 00:23:51,389
♪ You are the one ♪
356
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:54,100
♪ You're the one ♪
357
00:23:54,184 --> 00:23:58,772
♪ Yeah, baby, you are the one ♪
358
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:04,152
♪ You know that I had
All kinds of ladies ♪
359
00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:07,322
♪ Do each and every thing to me ♪
360
00:24:07,405 --> 00:24:12,243
♪ But, baby, let me tell you
That you're the one ♪
361
00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:18,291
♪ Hey, I'll tell you because
You did something to me ♪
362
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:21,628
♪ Nobody else has ever done ♪
363
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,589
♪ Ooh-wee, hey, Miss Piggy ♪
364
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:25,674
Uh-huh?
365
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:27,050
♪ You are the one ♪
366
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:28,343
Ah.
367
00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:32,555
♪ I'm trying to tell you
That you're the one ♪
368
00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:36,267
♪ You are the one ♪
369
00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:40,814
♪ You're the one
Hey, baby ♪
370
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:41,981
♪ You are the one ♪
371
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:43,400
I hear you, Lou.
372
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:46,861
♪ I'm trying to tell you you're the one ♪
373
00:24:46,945 --> 00:24:48,780
Tell me. Tell me.
374
00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:51,032
♪ You are the one ♪
375
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:55,787
♪ You're the one, Miss Piggy ♪
376
00:24:55,870 --> 00:24:59,749
♪ You are the one ♪
377
00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,877
♪ Oh, my little sweet porkchop
My little ham hock ♪
378
00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:05,547
♪ You're the one ♪
379
00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:17,142
Okay, well, that's all the time we have,
but before we go...
380
00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:20,061
I'm going now.
381
00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:24,315
As I was saying, let's have
a warm thank-you to our special guest.
382
00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:27,902
-Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Lou Rawls!
-Thank you, Kermit.
383
00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:31,823
-Wait a minute.
-Let's not stop!
384
00:25:31,906 --> 00:25:34,325
Now that we've got things going.
385
00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:38,580
Well, uh, we'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
386
00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:40,290
[YELLS]
387
00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:42,250
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
388
00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:22,749
-I loved tonight's show.
-Really?
389
00:26:22,832 --> 00:26:26,002
Course not.
Just wanted to see if I could say it.
31161
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