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1
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,036
I can't believe
it's our ten-year reunion.
2
00:00:05,136 --> 00:00:06,437
And can I just say...
3
00:00:06,538 --> 00:00:08,006
we turned out hot.
4
00:00:08,106 --> 00:00:10,709
All right, which is better?
5
00:00:10,809 --> 00:00:12,477
Like this?
6
00:00:12,578 --> 00:00:13,478
FREDDY:
Hmm.
7
00:00:13,579 --> 00:00:16,047
Or... like this?
8
00:00:17,048 --> 00:00:18,950
I mean, definitely number two.
9
00:00:19,718 --> 00:00:22,486
You are gonna look so good
in the class photo, but...
10
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:26,924
can I just ask lovingly,
and with my full support,
11
00:00:27,024 --> 00:00:28,659
why are you wearing
a mortarboard?
12
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:30,260
Oh, I graduated remotely
13
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,796
because I was in Italy
for most of senior year.
14
00:00:32,897 --> 00:00:34,231
So I missed the class photo
15
00:00:34,331 --> 00:00:36,734
where everybody got
to wear this cool hat.
16
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,669
I also missed prom,
the senior prank,
17
00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:40,805
and "Cups" by Anna Kendrick.
18
00:00:40,905 --> 00:00:42,873
That was a big moment.
19
00:00:43,841 --> 00:00:45,943
But being in the class photo
20
00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:48,879
is the one thing I can
make up for tonight.
21
00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,850
Are you ready to rock Ridgeway
for one last ride?
22
00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:55,319
Oh, vroom vroom.
23
00:00:56,954 --> 00:00:59,757
* *
24
00:00:59,857 --> 00:01:02,358
(deep inhale, sigh)
25
00:01:02,458 --> 00:01:04,794
The smell of feet sweat,
off-brand sports drink,
26
00:01:04,893 --> 00:01:08,097
and pretending to have
your period to get out of gym.
27
00:01:09,032 --> 00:01:10,934
I'm so excited
to reconnect with everyone.
28
00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:12,335
You know, after you
and Sam took off,
29
00:01:12,435 --> 00:01:14,470
I was a bit
of a social butterfly.
30
00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,105
It's no big deal, though.
31
00:01:16,205 --> 00:01:19,208
It's not like I was the coolest,
most popular guy in school.
32
00:01:19,308 --> 00:01:22,779
Aw. No one was
saying that, sweetie.
33
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:26,015
Oh, snap, it's the coolest,
most popular guy in school.
34
00:01:26,115 --> 00:01:29,218
You'd better stop it.
35
00:01:29,318 --> 00:01:31,287
Rip-off Rodney says
you're cool, huh?
36
00:01:31,386 --> 00:01:32,856
How much did you
pay him to say that?
37
00:01:32,956 --> 00:01:35,058
Nothing.
First compliment's free.
38
00:01:35,158 --> 00:01:36,960
But the next one's
gonna cost you.
39
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:39,228
I'm sorry, did you even go here?
40
00:01:39,328 --> 00:01:42,198
What? Rodney, it's me, Carly.
41
00:01:42,297 --> 00:01:44,498
You sold me that cell phone
that was actually an old beeper
42
00:01:44,599 --> 00:01:46,869
and then that beeper that
was actually an old calculator.
43
00:01:47,468 --> 00:01:50,038
I went here from grades
K through 11.
44
00:01:50,138 --> 00:01:51,439
That explains it.
45
00:01:51,539 --> 00:01:53,575
Anything before senior year
is irrelevant.
46
00:01:54,843 --> 00:01:56,111
* I know *
47
00:01:56,211 --> 00:01:57,746
* You see *
48
00:01:57,846 --> 00:01:59,948
* Somehow the world
will change for me *
49
00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:03,285
* And be so wonderful *
50
00:02:03,385 --> 00:02:06,955
* So wake up
the members of my nation *
51
00:02:07,055 --> 00:02:08,956
* It's your time to be *
52
00:02:09,057 --> 00:02:11,794
* There's no chance
unless you take one *
53
00:02:11,894 --> 00:02:14,396
* And the time to see
the brighter side *
54
00:02:14,496 --> 00:02:18,133
* Of every situation *
55
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,902
* Some things are meant to be *
56
00:02:20,002 --> 00:02:24,872
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *
57
00:02:25,873 --> 00:02:29,276
Okay, even if everything before
senior year is irrelevant,
58
00:02:29,376 --> 00:02:30,712
tonight's what matters, right?
59
00:02:30,812 --> 00:02:33,114
-Oh! God, why?
-Oh, my God!
60
00:02:33,214 --> 00:02:35,082
It's me, Magic Malika!
61
00:02:35,182 --> 00:02:37,418
Freddie "The Kingpin" Benson?
62
00:02:37,518 --> 00:02:38,953
Kingpin?
63
00:02:39,053 --> 00:02:41,055
Did you, like, break into
the bowling alley or something?
64
00:02:41,155 --> 00:02:42,757
Yeah. We did.
65
00:02:42,857 --> 00:02:45,592
Jiminy Christmas. That's cool.
66
00:02:45,693 --> 00:02:50,197
Get this: we bowled
in our street shoes.
67
00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:53,267
-Uh. Uh.
-Uh. Uh.
68
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:56,070
-Sneaker sisters.
-Sneaker sisters.
69
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:57,471
(laughter)
70
00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:59,941
Remember junior year
when I was still here
71
00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:01,475
and we took the SATs?
72
00:03:01,575 --> 00:03:04,712
Wow, the SATs are considered
culturally offensive.
73
00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:07,047
Maybe we should go take
the class photo
74
00:03:07,147 --> 00:03:08,681
before that gets canceled, too.
75
00:03:08,782 --> 00:03:10,616
They're taking a class photo?
76
00:03:10,717 --> 00:03:13,686
I should go make these
blackheads... disappear.
77
00:03:15,621 --> 00:03:17,457
(laughing)
78
00:03:17,557 --> 00:03:23,063
Chugga chugga choo choo!
This is how we do, do!
79
00:03:23,163 --> 00:03:26,032
Barry! Toby! My training bros!
80
00:03:26,132 --> 00:03:29,302
TOGETHER: Chugga chugga chugga
chugga chugga chugga chugga...
81
00:03:29,402 --> 00:03:31,738
Oh, right.
Your model train club.
82
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:32,873
-Yeah.
-Hi.
83
00:03:32,973 --> 00:03:33,974
Oh, hey, Carly.
84
00:03:34,074 --> 00:03:35,675
Freddie. What's up, F-Train?
85
00:03:35,776 --> 00:03:38,911
F-Train? Another nickname
I've never heard.
86
00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:42,749
Remember when we rode the rails
like westward vagabonds?
87
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:45,518
Ah, I can't believe we drank out
of paper bags.
88
00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:49,889
We were so cool. No one
could see our O'Doul's.
89
00:03:49,989 --> 00:03:53,358
Guys. Should we put our drinks
in brown paper bags right now
90
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:56,762
and go chug 'em in the
janitor's closet like dirtbags?
91
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,231
We can even leave Janitor Mike
a funny note.
92
00:03:59,331 --> 00:04:03,335
He, um... died senior year.
93
00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:05,704
In that closet.
94
00:04:05,805 --> 00:04:07,272
R.I.P. Big Mike.
95
00:04:11,476 --> 00:04:13,578
Hey, there's
my favorite volunteer.
96
00:04:13,678 --> 00:04:14,613
Hey, Dad.
97
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:15,881
The caterers just quit.
98
00:04:15,981 --> 00:04:17,817
Something about
a salmonella outbreak.
99
00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:19,184
Chicken skewer?
100
00:04:19,284 --> 00:04:20,785
TOBY:
"Dad"?
101
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,855
Is this Little F-Train?
102
00:04:22,955 --> 00:04:25,624
No, this is Millicent.
103
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,693
If you guys are
just handing out nicknames,
104
00:04:29,794 --> 00:04:31,529
maybe I could get one?
105
00:04:31,629 --> 00:04:34,799
May I suggest Mortarboard Mama?
106
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,935
Uh, CarlyWuzHere?
107
00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:38,903
-CamGirl69?
-Uh...
108
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:41,372
It's my favorite number because
it looks like a yin-yang.
109
00:04:42,874 --> 00:04:44,308
* *
110
00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:46,777
Help yourself to snacks.
Here are your drink tickets.
111
00:04:46,878 --> 00:04:49,780
Your kids are in good hands,
unless someone gets hurt.
112
00:04:49,881 --> 00:04:52,150
I don't do well with blood.
113
00:04:54,118 --> 00:04:55,820
Nope, I don't want
to be on the news.
114
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,321
SPENCER:
Wait! Harper! Harper!
115
00:04:57,421 --> 00:05:00,758
I want you to meet my kids!
116
00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:05,964
Please tell me this isn't
a Nick Cannon situation.
117
00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:07,365
Of course not.
118
00:05:07,465 --> 00:05:10,233
I don't know
any of their mothers.
119
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,669
These are my Spoppers
and Spopettes.
120
00:05:12,769 --> 00:05:14,471
See, I've been
donating my seed...
121
00:05:14,571 --> 00:05:15,472
Ugh.
122
00:05:15,572 --> 00:05:17,340
-Sorry, my sperm.
-(gags)
123
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,842
Apologies. My DNA?
124
00:05:18,942 --> 00:05:20,177
I'll accept.
125
00:05:20,277 --> 00:05:22,112
To a cryobank.
See, I needed money
126
00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:23,313
after I dropped out
of law school
127
00:05:23,413 --> 00:05:24,581
to help pay for art supplies.
128
00:05:24,681 --> 00:05:26,950
So I figured, hey,
I'll be a hero.
129
00:05:27,817 --> 00:05:30,787
But at some point, it stopped
being a job and started being
130
00:05:30,888 --> 00:05:32,089
a hobby?
131
00:05:32,189 --> 00:05:35,358
These are your literal children?
132
00:05:35,458 --> 00:05:38,028
For tax purposes, no.
133
00:05:38,128 --> 00:05:40,363
For organ donation
purposes, maybe.
134
00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:42,132
Does Carly know?
135
00:05:42,232 --> 00:05:43,733
I don't know, ask Carly.
136
00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:47,437
How can you even be sure
these are really your kids?
137
00:05:53,109 --> 00:05:55,277
(laughing)
138
00:05:56,545 --> 00:05:59,315
Okay, I see the resemblance now.
139
00:06:00,082 --> 00:06:01,683
(ringing)
140
00:06:01,783 --> 00:06:06,488
Gather ye round,
Spoppers and Spopettes!
141
00:06:06,588 --> 00:06:10,526
Now, I know you think you're
just here to meet your Spiblings
142
00:06:10,626 --> 00:06:11,894
and your Spoppa.
143
00:06:11,994 --> 00:06:14,696
But as you know by now,
I am a fine artiste.
144
00:06:14,796 --> 00:06:17,566
And, as my progeny,
you are my muses.
145
00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:20,202
Or should I say, my Spmuses.
146
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:25,074
And as great artists have said
since the dawn of time:
147
00:06:25,174 --> 00:06:26,142
who wants pizza?
148
00:06:26,242 --> 00:06:27,576
(cheering)
149
00:06:27,676 --> 00:06:31,379
Ooh, I smell sausage.
Out of the way, Splosers!
150
00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:35,183
Hello. What's your name?
151
00:06:35,283 --> 00:06:36,451
Potter.
152
00:06:36,551 --> 00:06:38,753
Hi, Potter.
Do you not like pizza?
153
00:06:38,853 --> 00:06:40,521
I do, but I brought
my own lunch.
154
00:06:40,621 --> 00:06:43,224
It's pretty much
the only thing I eat.
155
00:06:43,324 --> 00:06:45,760
Aah! Spaghetti tacos?
156
00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:49,697
I know a parent is never
supposed to choose favorites.
157
00:06:49,796 --> 00:06:52,667
But I am gonna learn
your last name.
158
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:54,936
* *
159
00:06:55,036 --> 00:06:57,138
Hi.
160
00:06:58,073 --> 00:07:00,976
There's got to be someone here
that wants to see me.
161
00:07:01,076 --> 00:07:02,944
Not him.
162
00:07:03,044 --> 00:07:04,512
Carly Shay.
163
00:07:04,612 --> 00:07:09,817
Shane. Wow, I haven't seen
you since you fell down...
164
00:07:09,917 --> 00:07:11,851
someone's elevator shaft.
165
00:07:11,952 --> 00:07:14,454
Yeah. You know,
lying at the bottom
166
00:07:14,554 --> 00:07:16,723
of that cold, dark shaft
and spending months
167
00:07:16,823 --> 00:07:20,460
in a body cast...
helped me realize my purpose.
168
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,496
That's amazing. But what is it?
169
00:07:22,596 --> 00:07:25,632
Engineering? Medicine?
Saving the bees?
170
00:07:25,732 --> 00:07:27,267
I just read an article
about that.
171
00:07:27,367 --> 00:07:29,169
(groans)
I am, uh, deathly allergic
172
00:07:29,269 --> 00:07:30,704
to all stinging insects.
173
00:07:30,804 --> 00:07:34,908
Actually, I head the physical
education curriculum
174
00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:36,176
right here at Ridgeway.
175
00:07:36,276 --> 00:07:38,412
You're a gym teacher?
176
00:07:39,213 --> 00:07:41,348
I mean, no, that, that's neat.
177
00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:42,816
You get to wear shorts to work.
178
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:46,686
I wear joggers, Carly.
I'm a professional.
179
00:07:46,786 --> 00:07:48,288
Yes, of course.
180
00:07:48,388 --> 00:07:51,958
But you do teach fun stuff,
181
00:07:52,059 --> 00:07:54,760
not "this matters" stuff.
182
00:07:58,064 --> 00:08:01,500
Principal Franklin.
Wait, I thought you retired.
183
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,336
Can we call you Ted now?
184
00:08:03,936 --> 00:08:04,803
Nope.
185
00:08:04,903 --> 00:08:06,372
I'm on the reunion circuit,
186
00:08:06,472 --> 00:08:08,741
mostly for the free drinks
and occasional gifts.
187
00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:11,277
Plus, I get to wear this shirt.
188
00:08:11,377 --> 00:08:13,246
Well, I'd consider it
a real gift
189
00:08:13,346 --> 00:08:15,448
to stand next to you
in the class photo.
190
00:08:15,548 --> 00:08:17,150
You could even flip my tassel.
191
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:20,753
But, Carly, the class photo
is only for Ridgeway graduates.
192
00:08:20,853 --> 00:08:23,256
(chuckles)
193
00:08:23,356 --> 00:08:24,623
I don't get it.
194
00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:27,460
Of course you don't.
You never graduated.
195
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,100
How could she not
have graduated?
196
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,534
Am I dating
a high school dropout?
197
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,370
Am I a bad boy?
198
00:08:39,471 --> 00:08:41,938
I went to a little bit
of college.
199
00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:44,642
So I know for a fact
my credits transferred.
200
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,044
Not true.
201
00:08:46,144 --> 00:08:47,745
I remember because when I
reviewed your paperwork,
202
00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:50,348
I laughed and laughed.
203
00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:52,950
You had an incomplete
in phys ed.
204
00:08:53,051 --> 00:08:55,387
(laughs) It's still funny.
205
00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:57,289
I took gym in Italy.
206
00:08:57,389 --> 00:08:59,424
Tuscan strolls didn't transfer?
207
00:08:59,524 --> 00:09:02,460
So, what you're saying is,
I can't be a part
208
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,029
of the class photo that
I've waited ten years to be in
209
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,631
because of gym?
210
00:09:06,731 --> 00:09:09,201
The one class that teaches
skills I'll never even use?
211
00:09:09,301 --> 00:09:11,803
Those skills are good for your
heart, your lungs, your joints--
212
00:09:11,903 --> 00:09:13,971
Whose side are you on,
mine or gym?
213
00:09:14,072 --> 00:09:16,006
It's also a good
stress reliever.
214
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:19,743
We sent several notices to the
address your brother gave us:
215
00:09:19,843 --> 00:09:24,415
500 Whichever Way the Tower of
Pisa Leans, Italy, no zip code.
216
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,419
So, my dreams of being
forever immortalized
217
00:09:28,519 --> 00:09:30,554
with the class of 2013
are dashed
218
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:34,158
because I never mastered
the frigging monkey bars?
219
00:09:34,258 --> 00:09:37,628
I'm confused why the photo's
more important than the diploma.
220
00:09:37,728 --> 00:09:39,196
It's not even about the photo.
221
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:41,832
I missed so many milestones
senior year,
222
00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:44,635
and that was the one that
I could finally be a part of.
223
00:09:44,735 --> 00:09:48,004
Why don't you just
ask Shane to pass you?
224
00:09:48,105 --> 00:09:49,173
I mean, he's the...
225
00:09:49,273 --> 00:09:51,074
(chuckles) the gym teacher.
226
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,476
That's a great idea.
227
00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:53,877
Do you think that
he would do it tonight?
228
00:09:53,977 --> 00:09:55,245
I mean, why wouldn't he?
229
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,180
He's here, I'm here,
the photographer's here.
230
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:02,985
I am going to graduate
the chiz out of high school.
231
00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:05,488
Who could say no to this energy?
232
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:06,689
No.
233
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:11,994
Blood of my blood.
234
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:14,130
Hear my decree.
235
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:17,533
Consider the great
masterpieces of the human era:
236
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:19,402
Mona Lisa. Starry Night.
237
00:10:19,502 --> 00:10:24,274
Bette Midler's rendition
of "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy."
238
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,676
And yet they are all trash
239
00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:30,213
when you compare them
to my latest installation
240
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:32,582
Mount Spencemore!
241
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:35,718
-Ooh.
-Wow.
242
00:10:35,818 --> 00:10:38,987
Who is buying your art?
243
00:10:39,087 --> 00:10:42,056
Spoppers and Spopettes!
Assemble!
244
00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:45,994
Yes, safely find a face hole.
245
00:10:47,829 --> 00:10:48,830
Yes.
246
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,632
-Spoppa?
-What is it, Potter?
247
00:10:50,732 --> 00:10:52,201
There's no face hole for me.
248
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:55,036
What? How is that possible?
249
00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:58,340
No, wait...
250
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,243
There are only ten holes
for 11 kids.
251
00:11:01,343 --> 00:11:03,111
And I feel like you
should get Potter in there.
252
00:11:03,212 --> 00:11:05,380
She really gonna shine
on camera.
253
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,081
But there should be enough
for everyone.
254
00:11:07,182 --> 00:11:08,917
You know what this means, right?
255
00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:13,322
Yes. But I don't want to show
off, so you say it first.
256
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,490
There's an imposter among us.
257
00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:17,858
An imSpopster!
258
00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:19,593
Oh, I love solving mysteries.
259
00:11:19,693 --> 00:11:21,895
I wish I had a magnifying glass
and a pipe.
260
00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:23,030
It wouldn't help me solve
anything,
261
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:24,865
but I know I'd look good.
262
00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:27,701
But how will we figure out
who the imSpopster is?
263
00:11:27,801 --> 00:11:30,204
Ah, I need my thinking cookie.
264
00:11:31,805 --> 00:11:34,708
Okay, that's why Carly
only lets you eat cookies
265
00:11:34,808 --> 00:11:36,710
over the toilet.
266
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:43,784
I think I know how
we can find the imSpopster.
267
00:11:43,884 --> 00:11:46,186
How?
268
00:11:47,221 --> 00:11:49,223
I already missed senior year.
269
00:11:49,323 --> 00:11:50,758
Can't you just pass me?
270
00:11:50,858 --> 00:11:52,760
If I'm not in the photo,
it's like I don't even exist.
271
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:57,030
And exist she must.
F-Train don't date no ghost.
272
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:58,965
Okay, I am an educator, hmm?
273
00:11:59,065 --> 00:12:02,835
I don't just hand out credits
like raisins on Halloween.
274
00:12:02,935 --> 00:12:08,040
All students must complete the
Lance Armstrong Fitness Test.
275
00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:11,043
Uh, formerly the OJ Simpson
Fitness Test.
276
00:12:11,143 --> 00:12:12,679
They're a little slow
to catch up.
277
00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:15,815
I can't wait
until your generation
278
00:12:15,915 --> 00:12:17,384
is no longer in charge.
279
00:12:17,484 --> 00:12:18,985
Hey. Get back to work, okay?
280
00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:21,788
Those mini quiches are
not gonna replenish themselves.
281
00:12:21,888 --> 00:12:23,723
Don't talk to my kid
like that, all right?
282
00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:24,991
She's volunteering her time.
283
00:12:25,091 --> 00:12:26,726
Volunteering? Uh, no.
284
00:12:26,826 --> 00:12:28,961
This is her detention.
285
00:12:29,061 --> 00:12:32,131
That's right, gym teachers
can give out detention.
286
00:12:32,231 --> 00:12:36,068
Yeah, we've got a lot going on
for ourselves.
287
00:12:37,069 --> 00:12:39,805
Millicentia Mitchell.
288
00:12:39,905 --> 00:12:41,039
You got detention?
289
00:12:41,139 --> 00:12:42,574
I'd love to stay and chat,
290
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:45,677
but millennials
need their egg pies.
291
00:12:48,113 --> 00:12:50,782
Hey, what were we talking about?
292
00:12:50,882 --> 00:12:51,950
Oh, yeah.
293
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:53,585
How the body is the temple,
294
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:56,688
but the gym teacher
is the shaman.
295
00:12:56,788 --> 00:12:57,856
Your Holiness.
296
00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:03,595
As I always say to my most
useless students, good effort.
297
00:13:04,830 --> 00:13:06,798
Okay, fine. I'll test you.
298
00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,233
But you'd better not besmirch
299
00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:10,902
the good name
of Lance Armstrong.
300
00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:12,671
Thank you, Shane.
301
00:13:12,771 --> 00:13:14,673
So, you'll pass me tonight,
then I'll be in the photo,
302
00:13:14,773 --> 00:13:16,475
and then I'll come back
next week to take the test.
303
00:13:16,575 --> 00:13:18,510
Oh, how I cherish
our friendship so.
304
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:21,512
No, no, this cannot still be
my problem next week.
305
00:13:21,612 --> 00:13:24,915
If you want to take the test,
you are doing it tonight.
306
00:13:25,015 --> 00:13:27,952
But I thought I was super clear.
307
00:13:28,052 --> 00:13:30,120
I don't want to take the test.
308
00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:34,392
* *
309
00:13:35,926 --> 00:13:38,228
Yep, she's one of yours.
310
00:13:38,329 --> 00:13:39,897
Nice work. Next!
311
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:43,200
Would you like some milk?
312
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,735
(Spencer scoffs)
313
00:13:44,835 --> 00:13:46,136
You never take the milk.
314
00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,539
A rule I still don't understand.
315
00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:51,308
BOTH:
The imSpopster.
316
00:13:54,011 --> 00:13:55,346
(both groan)
317
00:13:55,446 --> 00:13:57,715
Ten cookie tests,
all passed with flying colors,
318
00:13:57,815 --> 00:14:02,018
which must mean that the
remaining kid is the imSpopster.
319
00:14:02,118 --> 00:14:03,653
Yeah, but who's left?
320
00:14:05,154 --> 00:14:07,991
It's Potter!
No, not my favorite!
321
00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:10,259
Why couldn't it
have been this one?
322
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,895
(alarm blaring)
323
00:14:11,995 --> 00:14:13,630
What?
324
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,499
-What, what is go...?
-(child coughs)
325
00:14:16,366 --> 00:14:17,734
Mount Spencemore!
326
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:29,278
Potter! Are you okay?
327
00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:31,748
It was a mistake,
Spoppa, I swear.
328
00:14:31,848 --> 00:14:35,084
Sometimes I just touch things
and they burst into flames.
329
00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:36,352
(gasps)
330
00:14:36,453 --> 00:14:40,323
I know, my beloved. I know.
331
00:14:40,424 --> 00:14:43,926
Spencer, you are the father.
332
00:14:45,327 --> 00:14:48,130
Okay, this is it.
333
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,766
The moment you've been
waiting for:
334
00:14:50,866 --> 00:14:54,369
the Lance Armstrong
Fitness Test.
335
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:55,538
And, like Lance Armstrong,
336
00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:57,139
I am ready to infuse myself
337
00:14:57,239 --> 00:14:58,607
with my own refrigerated blood.
338
00:14:58,707 --> 00:15:00,643
Mm-hmm. All you need to do
339
00:15:00,743 --> 00:15:03,746
is successfully complete
one of three exercises:
340
00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:04,747
Wind sprints.
341
00:15:04,847 --> 00:15:05,748
Ugh.
342
00:15:05,848 --> 00:15:07,816
-Rope climbing.
-Ugh!
343
00:15:07,916 --> 00:15:09,117
Or the sit-and-reach.
344
00:15:09,217 --> 00:15:10,118
Thank God.
345
00:15:10,218 --> 00:15:11,687
Yeah, that's the one.
346
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:13,288
Are you ready?
347
00:15:13,388 --> 00:15:16,058
No. I pulled a muscle
sneezing earlier.
348
00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:18,326
But here we are.
349
00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:20,095
Let's do this.
350
00:15:20,195 --> 00:15:22,431
* *
351
00:15:23,598 --> 00:15:26,367
-(growls)
-(growls)
352
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,135
(blows whistle)
353
00:15:28,235 --> 00:15:31,973
* *
354
00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,243
(blows whistle)
355
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,605
(grunting)
356
00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:06,507
I did it, Shane,
357
00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:09,776
I got past my knees.
358
00:16:10,977 --> 00:16:12,946
Yeah, I know.
359
00:16:18,652 --> 00:16:21,421
Sorry, Carly.
You'll get 'em next time.
360
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,422
Next time?
361
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,758
There is no "next time."
362
00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:29,329
What's the point in graduating
if tonight was already a bust?
363
00:16:29,429 --> 00:16:32,533
What's the point
in graduating high school?
364
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,134
Class photo time!
365
00:16:34,234 --> 00:16:37,804
Ridgeway graduates, line up
in front of the bleachers!
366
00:16:37,904 --> 00:16:40,006
You better get up there,
Captain Popular.
367
00:16:40,106 --> 00:16:43,243
Damn it, I just gave you
another nickname.
368
00:16:43,343 --> 00:16:47,179
The only nickname I have
ever wanted is Mr. iCarly.
369
00:16:47,279 --> 00:16:50,550
Who cares if you're not
up there in the class photo?
370
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:53,886
No one can erase you
from my high school experience.
371
00:16:53,986 --> 00:16:55,821
You were
the most memorable part.
372
00:16:55,921 --> 00:16:58,991
Aw, look who finally
got together.
373
00:16:59,091 --> 00:17:00,159
(chuckles)
374
00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:01,761
Camgirl and F-Train.
375
00:17:02,562 --> 00:17:06,165
Come on, dude. Training bros
don't stand in the caboose.
376
00:17:06,264 --> 00:17:07,966
That means the back.
377
00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:10,002
(sighs)
378
00:17:10,101 --> 00:17:12,037
Go for it. Really.
379
00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:13,272
Are you sure?
380
00:17:13,371 --> 00:17:15,407
Smile big enough
for the both of us.
381
00:17:18,578 --> 00:17:20,913
Wow, he really went.
382
00:17:21,847 --> 00:17:22,915
Carly, wait.
383
00:17:23,014 --> 00:17:24,215
Yes?
384
00:17:24,316 --> 00:17:26,651
Can you take the picture?
385
00:17:27,652 --> 00:17:29,287
Sure.
386
00:17:33,024 --> 00:17:36,561
Everyone say...
387
00:17:36,661 --> 00:17:38,196
-(buzzing)
-Help!
-Shane!
388
00:17:38,296 --> 00:17:41,099
Oh, of course.
How could we forget Shane?
389
00:17:41,199 --> 00:17:42,767
Thanks, Carly.
390
00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:44,268
Help! Wasps!
391
00:17:44,368 --> 00:17:49,207
Wasps? Shane is deathly allergic
to all stinging insects!
392
00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:54,979
Oh, yeah, yeah, that nest
has been there for years.
393
00:17:55,079 --> 00:17:56,948
Well, it's not my problem.
394
00:17:58,016 --> 00:18:01,385
Don't worry, Shane, I'm coming!
395
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,388
EpiPen. (gasps) In my bag.
396
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:08,225
* *
397
00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:15,799
Oh, wait, no, this
is just a marker.
398
00:18:15,899 --> 00:18:18,201
* *
399
00:18:18,301 --> 00:18:21,038
(gasping):
Epi... pen.
400
00:18:21,138 --> 00:18:22,372
(Shane gasping)
401
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:26,644
We meet again,
you raggedy bitch.
402
00:18:26,744 --> 00:18:28,111
(buzzing)
403
00:18:29,512 --> 00:18:31,548
(grunting)
404
00:18:32,916 --> 00:18:34,718
Come on, Carly. Go!
405
00:18:34,818 --> 00:18:36,053
(grunting)
406
00:18:43,961 --> 00:18:44,862
(gasps)
407
00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,429
(all gasping)
408
00:18:46,529 --> 00:18:48,065
Oh no.
409
00:18:48,165 --> 00:18:51,300
Now I just have to sit... and...
410
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,269
-Reach!
-(grunts)
411
00:18:53,369 --> 00:18:55,738
By golly, she's gonna do it.
412
00:18:55,838 --> 00:18:57,807
She's gonna sit and reach.
413
00:18:57,907 --> 00:18:59,141
(grunting)
414
00:18:59,842 --> 00:19:00,977
Ah!
415
00:19:01,077 --> 00:19:01,911
(all gasping)
416
00:19:02,011 --> 00:19:03,045
(grunts)
417
00:19:03,145 --> 00:19:04,947
(gasping)
418
00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:07,483
(cheering)
419
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:10,552
See, I told you phys ed
is important.
420
00:19:10,653 --> 00:19:13,622
Oh, shh, rest now.
421
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:15,491
You're talking nonsense.
422
00:19:16,726 --> 00:19:19,328
Oh, thank you
for keeping her safe.
423
00:19:19,428 --> 00:19:20,663
It's the least I could do.
424
00:19:20,763 --> 00:19:23,800
That's not true,
I could've hired security.
425
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,401
Wait, I'm still confused.
426
00:19:25,501 --> 00:19:28,337
If you only tracked down
ten kids, why did 11 show up?
427
00:19:28,437 --> 00:19:32,040
Oh, I might be able
to explain that.
428
00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:33,341
Spencer didn't track us down.
429
00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:35,043
I tracked him down.
430
00:19:35,143 --> 00:19:40,115
I'm a nurse at the "bank" where
Spencer made his "deposits."
431
00:19:40,215 --> 00:19:42,851
His sample was super popular.
432
00:19:42,951 --> 00:19:44,820
So height is that important.
433
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:45,954
It is.
434
00:19:46,922 --> 00:19:49,257
When I decided to have a baby
on my own, I figured, hey,
435
00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:51,392
everyone steals office supplies.
436
00:19:51,492 --> 00:19:54,395
Legally, you should
stop talking now.
437
00:19:54,495 --> 00:19:57,532
-Hey, so you're a nurse, huh?
-Mm-hmm.
438
00:19:57,632 --> 00:19:58,967
Sounds like
the kind of boring job
439
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,802
where I could do
most of the talking.
440
00:20:01,703 --> 00:20:03,404
Would you want to grab
a drink sometime?
441
00:20:03,504 --> 00:20:04,773
It's not like we haven't already
442
00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:06,074
consummated the relationship.
(chuckles)
443
00:20:06,174 --> 00:20:09,110
I think that could be fun.
444
00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,578
For me, it already was.
445
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,515
Oh, no, you didn't hurt
your wrist, did you?
446
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:16,717
Uh, no.
447
00:20:16,817 --> 00:20:20,387
Oh, great,
then you can sign this.
448
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:25,259
Bye. Have fun.
449
00:20:28,095 --> 00:20:29,463
So, how's your Shirley Temple?
450
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:33,100
Soured by the taste
of fibbery and hogwash?
451
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,470
Why didn't you just tell me
you had detention?
452
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,438
You should never feel scared
to tell me anything.
453
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:41,742
I know. It's not like
you would "ground" me.
454
00:20:41,842 --> 00:20:43,577
"Go to your room!" Oh, no.
455
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:47,114
Alone time with
all my cool stuff?
456
00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:49,683
You can always be
honest with me.
457
00:20:49,784 --> 00:20:51,318
Although I should really
think of some punishments
458
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:52,886
with actual consequences.
459
00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:55,654
It's good to have goals.
460
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,927
I am officially
a high school graduate.
461
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,529
You know, you could've
handed me toilet paper
462
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:05,331
and I'd have signed off on it.
463
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:09,135
(groans)
I am toasted, mang.
464
00:21:09,903 --> 00:21:13,339
Wow, Carly, that was one
for the history books.
465
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,408
And... for the yearbooks.
466
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,812
Like a yearbook for the reunion?
467
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,615
So, did I earn a nickname?
468
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,551
Life Alert?
469
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,320
Or...
470
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,155
CamGirl69...
471
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,724
Nope! Life Alert works.
Trust me.
472
00:21:32,590 --> 00:21:35,660
I love it. Photo time!
473
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,898
Everybody stop talking so we can
capture this cherished memory.
474
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:46,338
Hey, camera. Take a picture.
475
00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:50,142
I'm proud of you, Life Alert.
476
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,344
Thanks, Mr. iCarly.
477
00:21:57,749 --> 00:22:01,353
* *
478
00:22:04,189 --> 00:22:07,259
Chugga chugga choo choo,
this is how we...
479
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,394
Don't, don't.
480
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:14,531
Nope, I don't want
to be on the news.
481
00:22:14,631 --> 00:22:16,267
W-W-Wait, w-wait,
come here, w-wait.
482
00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:19,236
Spauntie?
And is that my Spuncle?
483
00:22:20,771 --> 00:22:22,773
I don't know how to answer
that question.
484
00:22:22,874 --> 00:22:25,409
Carly, this is
my biological daughter
485
00:22:25,509 --> 00:22:27,278
and your niece Potter.
486
00:22:30,747 --> 00:22:32,116
Is now a bad time to tell you
487
00:22:32,216 --> 00:22:35,319
there's ten more
of these little stonkers?
488
00:23:06,182 --> 00:23:08,184
Ooh!
34378
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