Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,326 --> 00:00:06,828
Okay.
2
00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:10,499
Carly, it means so much to me
that you agreed
3
00:00:10,599 --> 00:00:12,066
to go to my hospital prom.
4
00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:16,805
I'm honored. I've never been
to a prom at a hospital before.
5
00:00:16,905 --> 00:00:18,973
But is it cool if I sneak away
at some point
6
00:00:19,073 --> 00:00:21,476
and have a doctor look
at my jacked-up elbows?
7
00:00:21,576 --> 00:00:23,512
Hey, guys, we should
probably hit the road,
8
00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:26,948
but I'm having trouble finding
the hospital on my GPS.
9
00:00:27,048 --> 00:00:29,316
Yeah, it's not coming up
on my phone, either.
10
00:00:31,885 --> 00:00:34,021
I can't believe you fell for it.
11
00:00:34,788 --> 00:00:37,057
Fell for what?
12
00:00:37,157 --> 00:00:40,227
You've been pranked
by the Prank Prince!
13
00:00:40,327 --> 00:00:42,830
There's cameras everywhere.
14
00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:44,932
Excuse me, Carly.
15
00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:48,001
So, we're not going to
Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital?
16
00:00:48,101 --> 00:00:50,203
That's the hospital
from Grey's Anatomy!
17
00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:52,673
Durf.
18
00:00:52,773 --> 00:00:54,542
So this is what you do?
19
00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:57,745
You manipulate nice people
into doing nice things,
20
00:00:57,845 --> 00:00:59,312
and then you make fun of them?
21
00:00:59,412 --> 00:01:01,181
Yarp. It's hilarious.
22
00:01:01,281 --> 00:01:04,051
Oh, man, I'm glad you're not
one of those girls
23
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,987
that gets angry at stuff.
Ugh, those are the worst!
24
00:01:07,588 --> 00:01:09,122
Why would I be angry?
25
00:01:09,222 --> 00:01:13,761
Now I have a $700
hot pink satin dress
26
00:01:13,861 --> 00:01:15,763
I'm never gonna wear again.
27
00:01:15,863 --> 00:01:17,430
Prank selfie.
28
00:01:17,531 --> 00:01:19,867
Say "hilarious." Pffft!
29
00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:22,703
Hilarious. Yay.
30
00:01:24,104 --> 00:01:25,538
I know ♪
31
00:01:25,638 --> 00:01:27,173
You see ♪
32
00:01:27,273 --> 00:01:29,341
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
33
00:01:29,441 --> 00:01:32,411
And be so wonderful ♪
34
00:01:32,511 --> 00:01:36,182
♪ So wake up
the members of my nation ♪
35
00:01:36,282 --> 00:01:38,384
It's your time to be ♪
36
00:01:38,484 --> 00:01:41,420
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
37
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,123
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
38
00:01:44,223 --> 00:01:47,393
Of every situation ♪
39
00:01:47,493 --> 00:01:49,361
Some things are meant to be ♪
40
00:01:49,461 --> 00:01:52,965
♪ So give your best
and leave the rest to me. ♪
41
00:01:56,969 --> 00:01:58,971
I cannot believe
what that fool did to you.
42
00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:02,775
Oh, the prom fake-out?
Yeah, isn't it hilarious?
43
00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:05,578
No, it's infuriating.
44
00:02:05,678 --> 00:02:07,179
Immediately after I watched it,
45
00:02:07,279 --> 00:02:09,682
I created a fake online profile
so we could catfish him.
46
00:02:11,483 --> 00:02:13,152
Meet Lakeisha.
47
00:02:13,252 --> 00:02:15,588
She's a young ingenue
hoping to strike it big
48
00:02:15,688 --> 00:02:18,825
on the burgeoning
Seattle jazz scene.
49
00:02:18,925 --> 00:02:21,027
Skoobidy, bup, bup, bitch.
50
00:02:22,093 --> 00:02:23,995
Harper, calm down.
51
00:02:24,095 --> 00:02:26,097
That prank got me
a lot of followers.
52
00:02:26,197 --> 00:02:27,833
And Chris and I are
on each other's
53
00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:29,467
close friends maps now.
54
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,502
He's buying
illegal fireworks in Vancouver
55
00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:34,505
- as we speak.
- Oh, my God. So cool.
56
00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:36,407
Girl, I don't care!
57
00:02:36,507 --> 00:02:38,977
You need to tell him
to go to hell and block him.
58
00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:42,347
No. I will not choose violence.
59
00:02:43,148 --> 00:02:44,783
Then why does it look
like you're murdering
60
00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:46,584
that pillow you're knitting?
61
00:02:46,685 --> 00:02:49,354
How many times do I have to
tell you this is crocheting?
62
00:02:49,454 --> 00:02:51,356
I even crocheted you
that scarf that says,
63
00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:53,424
"Crocheting and knitting
are two different things!"
64
00:02:53,524 --> 00:02:56,494
Yeah, you don't seem
angry at all.
65
00:02:57,328 --> 00:02:58,730
Okay, you're right.
66
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,198
But I'm dealing with it.
67
00:03:00,298 --> 00:03:03,935
Good! Because keeping it
bottled up isn't healthy.
68
00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:05,637
Actually, it is.
69
00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:09,741
According to certified
joy-ologist Sunny Johnson.
70
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,010
Joy-ologist?
71
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:13,812
So an influencer who listened
to one episode
72
00:03:13,912 --> 00:03:16,948
of a Goop meditation podcast,
now she thinks she a doctor?
73
00:03:17,048 --> 00:03:20,117
Oh, she listened
to all the episodes.
74
00:03:20,217 --> 00:03:22,519
If anyone knows how to deal
with anger, it's her.
75
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,922
And she's coming over
to drink soft seltzer
76
00:03:25,022 --> 00:03:26,724
and give me advice
she only gives people
77
00:03:26,824 --> 00:03:28,358
at Patreon level five.
78
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,796
We are so close to you
joining another cult.
79
00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:34,932
Who's feeling bubbly?
80
00:03:35,032 --> 00:03:36,066
Sunny!
81
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,502
Sunny Johnson, PhD.
82
00:03:38,602 --> 00:03:40,771
That stands for
"pretty happy, dude."
83
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,542
Oh, I'm Harper Bettencourt, IDGAF.
84
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:50,514
And that stands for
"I dance, gather and forage."
85
00:03:51,081 --> 00:03:52,950
You guys are a hoot!
86
00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:57,187
So, Carly, are you ready to deal
with your anger Sunny style?
87
00:03:57,287 --> 00:03:58,923
Yes! Oh.
88
00:03:59,023 --> 00:04:01,125
So, what is Sunny style?
89
00:04:01,225 --> 00:04:03,928
When you feel angry,
I always say,
90
00:04:04,028 --> 00:04:05,863
"Girl, hit something!"
91
00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:07,965
As in hit the gym
and work it out.
92
00:04:08,065 --> 00:04:09,499
Hit the grill and cook it out.
93
00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:14,304
Hit the bar and drink
until you feel invincible.
94
00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:18,007
That sounds incredible.
95
00:04:18,107 --> 00:04:20,977
That sounds like alcoholism.
96
00:04:22,879 --> 00:04:24,380
Have you ever thought about...
97
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,516
I don't know, maybe talking
to the person directly?
98
00:04:27,616 --> 00:04:30,019
You are such a hoot!
99
00:04:30,119 --> 00:04:31,587
You know, I think I get it.
100
00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:33,422
We're influencers.
101
00:04:33,522 --> 00:04:35,658
And our followers
want authenticity,
102
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,861
so we curate
a positive version of that.
103
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,729
Oh, so you lie.
104
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,431
You are such a--
105
00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:45,668
If you call me a hoot
one more time...
106
00:04:48,104 --> 00:04:50,439
She seems nice.
107
00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:55,611
Ugh!
108
00:04:55,711 --> 00:04:57,981
I cannot believe
this is happening to me.
109
00:04:58,081 --> 00:05:00,884
I don't want to talk about it,
so don't bother asking.
110
00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:02,718
- I won't.
- What's going on?
111
00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:04,754
Finally. Thank you!
112
00:05:05,654 --> 00:05:07,023
This is a confusing age.
113
00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:08,958
I got partnered
with Derek Fox-Lubiner
114
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,459
for my English project.
115
00:05:10,559 --> 00:05:12,895
Derek Fox-Lubiner?
The coolest guy in school?
116
00:05:12,995 --> 00:05:16,531
- This is a disaster!
- What? Why? Millicent's cool.
117
00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:18,600
He's gonna make her
do all the work
118
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,335
while he's off
playing freeze tag
119
00:05:20,435 --> 00:05:21,904
with the rest
of the popular kids.
120
00:05:22,004 --> 00:05:23,305
That was always my move.
121
00:05:23,405 --> 00:05:25,273
Okay.
Well, I'll call your teacher
122
00:05:25,373 --> 00:05:26,975
and see if I can get you
a different partner.
123
00:05:27,075 --> 00:05:29,912
Are you trying
to destroy me? No!
124
00:05:30,012 --> 00:05:31,646
Real confusing age.
125
00:05:32,747 --> 00:05:34,182
Hey, m'dudes.
126
00:05:34,282 --> 00:05:37,786
Oh, whoa, M&M, new kicks?
I like.
127
00:05:37,886 --> 00:05:41,256
Oh, you like?
Well, I like that you like.
128
00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,326
Do all the kids at school
call you M&M?
129
00:05:44,426 --> 00:05:47,262
No, just D-money. And I'm
the only one who calls him that.
130
00:05:47,362 --> 00:05:50,365
Oh. Well, what are you guys
working on, D-money?
131
00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,700
I'm gonna throw this one to M&M.
132
00:05:52,801 --> 00:05:56,138
Why? You got a freeze tag
game to get to?
133
00:05:56,238 --> 00:05:58,573
- What's freeze tag?
- I don't know.
134
00:05:58,673 --> 00:06:01,243
Something stupid
Freddie keeps bringing up.
135
00:06:02,477 --> 00:06:04,646
The project is called
"Page to Plate."
136
00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:08,183
We have to cook a meal
based on the 1691 Irish tragedy,
137
00:06:08,283 --> 00:06:09,917
"A Christmas Pie for Emily."
138
00:06:10,017 --> 00:06:12,854
Yeah, 'cause you know
how in books there's pages
139
00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:14,856
and in food there's plates?
140
00:06:14,956 --> 00:06:16,257
- Oh.
- Yeah, I got that.
141
00:06:16,357 --> 00:06:18,325
Yeah, me too.
142
00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:20,494
And then we get
to write a report.
143
00:06:20,594 --> 00:06:22,763
Millicent is so good at reports.
144
00:06:22,864 --> 00:06:26,433
OMG, stop it, I'm dead.
145
00:06:28,235 --> 00:06:30,604
- I'll go find a table.
- 'Kay.
146
00:06:34,308 --> 00:06:36,343
Well, now I see
why you were so nervous
147
00:06:36,443 --> 00:06:38,179
to be paired with Derek.
148
00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,881
You like him.
149
00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:43,951
Oh, my little girl's
becoming a little woman.
150
00:06:44,051 --> 00:06:45,953
And here comes a little tear.
151
00:06:46,053 --> 00:06:47,454
You're way too young
to have a crush,
152
00:06:47,554 --> 00:06:49,924
so I forbid it, crush over.
Problem solved.
153
00:06:50,457 --> 00:06:52,326
Hey, not-the-father, calm down.
154
00:06:52,426 --> 00:06:53,760
Let's just let the wonder
155
00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:55,997
of Millicent's first crush
unfold naturally.
156
00:06:56,097 --> 00:06:59,300
"First." Yeah.
We'll go with that.
157
00:07:08,909 --> 00:07:12,312
Nice day of not dealing with
the root cause of your feelings?
158
00:07:12,412 --> 00:07:14,780
Yes. Thank you for asking.
159
00:07:15,481 --> 00:07:18,284
We hit the mall, the bar,
the gym.
160
00:07:18,384 --> 00:07:20,153
Kind of wish we swapped
the order.
161
00:07:20,253 --> 00:07:23,389
I'm really sorry I threw up
on you during Hot Bitch Yoga.
162
00:07:25,025 --> 00:07:26,826
Oh, I saw your Instagram.
163
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,295
And it seems like
it was definitely about
164
00:07:29,395 --> 00:07:31,164
addressing your feelings
165
00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:33,166
and not at all
about making peace signs
166
00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:34,600
and sticking your tongue out
167
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:37,003
as if the picture
was taken by mistake.
168
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:41,041
I feel so refreshed
and just free of anger.
169
00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:42,708
Carly, you're
rage-knitting again.
170
00:07:42,808 --> 00:07:44,844
It's rage-crocheting!
171
00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:48,281
Oh, my God.
172
00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:51,184
Sunny, what do I do?
It's still in me.
173
00:07:51,284 --> 00:07:53,886
Don't worry, Carly.
It's going to be okay.
174
00:07:53,987 --> 00:07:56,656
There's still one more thing
we can hit.
175
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:01,127
Each other.
176
00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:03,728
Ladies, welcome...
177
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,532
...to Influencer Fight Club.
178
00:08:12,437 --> 00:08:16,942
I don't know how yet,
but this feels racist.
179
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,352
Influencer Fight Club
is basically
180
00:08:27,452 --> 00:08:29,354
"Girl, hit something"
on steroids.
181
00:08:29,454 --> 00:08:31,390
Which, by the way,
do not mix well
182
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:34,226
with the diarrhea tea
that sponsors me.
183
00:08:36,628 --> 00:08:38,163
Is this a squid game?
184
00:08:38,263 --> 00:08:41,800
No. This is a safe place
for us nice influencers
185
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,469
to get our anger out in private.
186
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:47,806
And you're part of it now.
187
00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:50,809
Aw. You think I'm nice?
188
00:08:51,343 --> 00:08:53,745
Let me guess, the first rule
about Fight Club
189
00:08:53,845 --> 00:08:55,880
is you do not talk
about Fight Club.
190
00:08:55,981 --> 00:08:59,383
No. That's just
an incredibly obvious given.
191
00:09:00,484 --> 00:09:02,086
The first rule is
protect the face.
192
00:09:02,186 --> 00:09:04,488
These babies
are our moneymakers.
193
00:09:06,057 --> 00:09:09,027
I gotta go.
The diarrhea tea's kicking in.
194
00:09:11,362 --> 00:09:16,134
If you get in that ring, Carly,
two words: throat punch.
195
00:09:16,234 --> 00:09:17,668
Are you actually suggesting
196
00:09:17,768 --> 00:09:19,270
that I stay here
and I fight someone?
197
00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:21,072
Oh, it's kind of like kickboxing,
198
00:09:21,172 --> 00:09:22,640
and I do that every week.
199
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:25,176
Plus, it might actually help you
get out your anger.
200
00:09:25,276 --> 00:09:28,879
Harper, nobody thinks
I can fight.
201
00:09:28,979 --> 00:09:31,915
The Army told me,
"Nah, we're good."
202
00:09:36,687 --> 00:09:40,558
Oh, look. A Christmas pie recipe
that takes less than five hours.
203
00:09:40,658 --> 00:09:42,826
I wouldn't mind spending
five hours with you.
204
00:09:42,926 --> 00:09:44,795
- Derek.
- What?
205
00:09:44,895 --> 00:09:46,597
I was just saying your name.
206
00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:49,533
Ha. Nice. I'm gonna go pee.
207
00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:50,968
Nice.
208
00:09:54,438 --> 00:09:57,174
Derek Fox-Lubiner
likes Millicent!
209
00:09:57,274 --> 00:09:59,376
I wonder if the restaurant
in the Space Needle is available
210
00:09:59,476 --> 00:10:01,644
for a Christmas Eve wedding
in 2042.
211
00:10:01,744 --> 00:10:04,681
Whoa, lean back, Fat Joe.
212
00:10:05,615 --> 00:10:07,184
Sure, it seems like
Derek is reciprocating
213
00:10:07,284 --> 00:10:08,718
Millicent's feelings,
but don't you think
214
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:09,886
that's a little convenient?
215
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:10,987
Kid's up to something.
216
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,090
This is not good, guys.
217
00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:15,858
I'm trying to focus
on my English project,
218
00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:18,261
but all I want to do
is listen to Adele
219
00:10:18,361 --> 00:10:20,763
and think
about D-money on a Jet Ski.
220
00:10:21,298 --> 00:10:23,032
I'm gonna go make you
some oolong tea.
221
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:26,303
It's perfect for when
you're longing for someone.
222
00:10:28,037 --> 00:10:29,572
I can't talk right now.
223
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,374
Okay, fine, Mom, you were right.
224
00:10:31,474 --> 00:10:33,110
I just had to be nice,
and now she does
225
00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:34,577
whatever I say.
226
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:37,514
Spencer!
You were right about Derek!
227
00:10:37,614 --> 00:10:40,383
He uses jojoba oil
to get that hair volume?
228
00:10:40,483 --> 00:10:41,884
No. Do--
229
00:10:41,984 --> 00:10:43,420
He's just being nice
to Millicent
230
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,288
to get her to do
whatever he says.
231
00:10:45,388 --> 00:10:48,091
I invited that boy
into our family.
232
00:10:48,191 --> 00:10:52,028
J'ai reçu ce garçon
dans notre famille.
233
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:55,030
That means the same thing.
I'm just learning French.
234
00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,732
We should split the work.
235
00:10:56,832 --> 00:10:58,767
Maybe one of us does the report,
and the other does the pie?
236
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:02,204
You're so smart and talented.
I wish we had two of you.
237
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:04,373
Wish granted. I'll do both.
238
00:11:04,473 --> 00:11:05,807
Lame!
239
00:11:05,907 --> 00:11:07,343
Lame means cool now.
240
00:11:08,244 --> 00:11:09,745
We have to tell her.
241
00:11:09,845 --> 00:11:12,181
Let me do it so I can gloat
about being right.
242
00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:15,117
No, we can't break her heart.
243
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,686
What if we convince her
not to like Derek?
244
00:11:21,022 --> 00:11:23,024
Sorry,
I can officially sleep
245
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:25,261
with my eyes open now.
Did you say something?
246
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:34,035
If we sneak out of here,
do you think they'll notice?
247
00:11:34,136 --> 00:11:35,937
Unfortunately, they will.
248
00:11:36,037 --> 00:11:37,706
My presence in a room
is unmissable.
249
00:11:37,806 --> 00:11:41,877
But, look, let's just take a lap
and get a lay of the land.
250
00:11:41,977 --> 00:11:44,213
Carly! I'm Kelly.
251
00:11:44,313 --> 00:11:46,915
I am such a fan.
252
00:11:47,015 --> 00:11:48,817
I really hope I get
to fight you.
253
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:52,287
It would just be an honor
to wipe the floor with your ass.
254
00:11:53,053 --> 00:11:55,055
The honor would be my ass's.
255
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:56,624
Don't worry.
256
00:11:56,724 --> 00:11:58,326
Most people don't even need
both their kidneys.
257
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,560
I'm Elena.
258
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,129
You're the girl
who takes topless photos
259
00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,798
in front of national landmarks.
260
00:12:03,898 --> 00:12:06,467
That's me. Mammifest Chestiny.
261
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:10,070
And wait, you the girl
who takes bottomless photos
262
00:12:10,171 --> 00:12:11,806
in front of war memorials.
263
00:12:11,906 --> 00:12:14,909
Yep. Purple Heart, White Cheeks.
264
00:12:15,009 --> 00:12:17,478
People online are always
pitting us against each other.
265
00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:20,881
They're trying to make us like
the Nicki Minaj and Cardi B
266
00:12:20,981 --> 00:12:22,917
of tasteful patriotic nudity.
267
00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:26,554
Yeah. And luckily, when I want
to throttle the neck
268
00:12:26,654 --> 00:12:28,823
of every commenter
who criticizes us,
269
00:12:28,923 --> 00:12:32,059
I can come here and just,
you know, smack somebody around.
270
00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:35,095
And then I feel better.
Self-care.
271
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,132
Or you could just limit
your comments.
272
00:12:38,233 --> 00:12:39,634
Or even not read 'em.
273
00:12:39,734 --> 00:12:42,637
Nah, we'd rather come here
and fight it out.
274
00:12:42,737 --> 00:12:45,506
Most people don't even need
both their kidneys.
275
00:12:46,039 --> 00:12:47,241
You already said that.
276
00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,709
Well, obviously,
it bears repeating.
277
00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:51,278
Maybe we should leave.
278
00:12:51,378 --> 00:12:53,413
The one in the far corner
with the wide-set eyes
279
00:12:53,513 --> 00:12:55,349
has been mad-dogging my liver,
280
00:12:55,449 --> 00:12:58,218
and last time I checked,
I need both the ones I got.
281
00:12:59,686 --> 00:13:01,355
Where do you two
think you're going?
282
00:13:01,455 --> 00:13:02,989
Oh, um...
283
00:13:03,089 --> 00:13:04,558
If it's your first night
at Fight Club,
284
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:05,725
you have to fight.
285
00:13:05,825 --> 00:13:09,095
Have to, as in must to?
286
00:13:09,195 --> 00:13:11,731
You've seen
Influencer Fight Club.
287
00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:13,867
To make sure you won't
tell anyone about it,
288
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,469
you must become one of us.
289
00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:17,304
Wait, so you're blackmailing me?
290
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:20,774
Uhm, it's African
American-mailing. And yes.
291
00:13:22,742 --> 00:13:25,011
I told you this place
was racist.
292
00:13:29,649 --> 00:13:31,451
Hey. Hey!
293
00:13:31,551 --> 00:13:34,220
Okay, look, we gotta be brutal
and honest,
294
00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:36,055
like an Estonian mother.
295
00:13:36,155 --> 00:13:37,457
No. No, this is gonna work.
296
00:13:37,557 --> 00:13:39,225
I can convince Millicent
not to like Derek.
297
00:13:39,326 --> 00:13:41,628
She is not gonna take
your advice on romance.
298
00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:44,062
You haven't had
a girlfriend in years.
299
00:13:44,162 --> 00:13:46,332
I literally have
a girlfriend right now.
300
00:13:46,432 --> 00:13:49,201
No, I don't think that's right.
301
00:13:51,437 --> 00:13:54,440
Hey. How's the project going,
Milli Vanill'?
302
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:57,142
Great! I suggested
we dress up like characters
303
00:13:57,242 --> 00:14:00,045
from the book,
and Derek said, "Lame."
304
00:14:00,145 --> 00:14:01,414
Lame means cool now.
305
00:14:02,615 --> 00:14:04,550
So I gotta get
a costume together.
306
00:14:04,650 --> 00:14:06,251
It's gonna be like a date,
but schoolwork.
307
00:14:06,352 --> 00:14:07,953
So a fun date.
308
00:14:08,053 --> 00:14:10,556
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check out
this app I just downloaded.
309
00:14:10,656 --> 00:14:12,591
It shows you with one hundred
percent accuracy
310
00:14:12,691 --> 00:14:14,593
what you're going to look like
when you get older.
311
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:17,763
I couldn't help myself
and I uploaded Derek's picture.
312
00:14:19,532 --> 00:14:22,034
- Woof. Am I right?
- Aw.
313
00:14:22,134 --> 00:14:24,903
Does this mean you think
we're gonna grow old together?
314
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:26,772
Do me next!
315
00:14:28,907 --> 00:14:31,810
Well, that failed.
Time for the Estonian approach.
316
00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:34,112
I'm gonna need an egg.
Preferably pheasant.
317
00:14:34,212 --> 00:14:36,014
Duck will do.
318
00:14:36,815 --> 00:14:39,116
No, let me--let me break it
to her.
319
00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:42,253
Hey, Millicent...
320
00:14:42,354 --> 00:14:43,788
I gotta tell you something.
321
00:14:43,888 --> 00:14:46,190
I overheard Derek
telling his mother that he was
322
00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:49,327
just being nice to you to get
you to do whatever he says.
323
00:14:49,427 --> 00:14:50,995
We thought you should know.
324
00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:53,264
I thought you should know
earlier. I'm the hero here.
325
00:14:53,365 --> 00:14:55,767
Why the heck would I
want to know?
326
00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:57,502
You've ruined my life!
327
00:14:57,602 --> 00:14:59,804
Now I have to go scratch out
our initials
328
00:14:59,904 --> 00:15:01,606
from a lot of trees.
329
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:11,683
You got this, Carly Shay.
330
00:15:11,783 --> 00:15:14,719
And if you don't, you can
catch up on TV in the hospital.
331
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,155
Come on, girl. Hit something!
332
00:15:18,255 --> 00:15:19,991
But again, not the face.
333
00:15:20,091 --> 00:15:22,427
I'm rooting for you, Carly!
I got a hundred on Sunny,
334
00:15:22,527 --> 00:15:24,261
but I'm rooting for you!
335
00:15:25,997 --> 00:15:28,700
Okay, here we go.
336
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,235
Totally hitting you.
337
00:15:32,303 --> 00:15:34,739
Definitely gonna hit you.
338
00:15:34,839 --> 00:15:36,773
Am I doing it?
339
00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:40,143
Okay, let's make that
$200 on Sunny.
340
00:15:43,179 --> 00:15:44,981
What are you two laughing at?
341
00:15:45,081 --> 00:15:47,283
Can't you see I'm fighting
for my life in here?
342
00:15:47,384 --> 00:15:49,486
Carly, this is, like,
the funniest video
343
00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:52,355
you've ever been in. So good.
344
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:57,093
I've never been to a prom
at a hospital before.
345
00:15:57,193 --> 00:15:58,962
Is it cool if I sneak away
at some point
346
00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:01,031
and have a doctor look
at my jacked-up elbows?
347
00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:03,099
That's the hospital
from Grey's Anatomy!
348
00:16:03,199 --> 00:16:06,470
You've been pranked
by the Prank Prince!
349
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:08,972
I can't believe you fell for it!
350
00:16:09,072 --> 00:16:12,075
Pffft! Pffft! Pffft!
351
00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:13,477
Hilarious.
352
00:16:16,847 --> 00:16:18,949
Oh!
353
00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:21,885
Oh, God! I am so sorry.
354
00:16:21,985 --> 00:16:23,554
You will be hearing
from my lawyer
355
00:16:23,654 --> 00:16:25,889
if there's any lasting damage
to my face.
356
00:16:26,857 --> 00:16:29,593
But I am proud of you, girl!
357
00:16:29,693 --> 00:16:31,428
Oh, man!
358
00:16:31,528 --> 00:16:32,862
I got you all so good.
359
00:16:32,962 --> 00:16:35,030
Pe, pe, pe, peo!
360
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:36,999
Chris? What are you doing here?
361
00:16:37,099 --> 00:16:40,202
I've just been following you
around on the close friends map.
362
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:41,837
Oh, so you're just a stalker?
363
00:16:41,937 --> 00:16:45,340
Yeah, but, like, in a funny way.
364
00:16:45,441 --> 00:16:47,443
And then I saw
this whole fight club.
365
00:16:47,543 --> 00:16:49,612
Once I post this video
of all you influencers
366
00:16:49,712 --> 00:16:51,514
beating the hell
out of each other,
367
00:16:51,614 --> 00:16:54,550
everyone's gonna know
you're all fake.
368
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:57,186
But, like, not in a funny way.
369
00:16:57,286 --> 00:16:59,655
Prank, prank! Pffft!
370
00:17:05,094 --> 00:17:08,363
People aren't just mad at me
for punching Sunny.
371
00:17:08,464 --> 00:17:11,300
All the influencers at Fight
Club are losing brand deals.
372
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,670
Oh, man, Sunny lost her contract
with Live Laugh Loofah.
373
00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:17,106
The shower scrub that offers
words of affirmation?
374
00:17:17,206 --> 00:17:20,109
It gets rid of dead skin cells
and negative thoughts.
375
00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:22,111
She gonna be dirty and sad.
376
00:17:22,211 --> 00:17:25,214
This is all my fault.
377
00:17:25,314 --> 00:17:27,483
Oh, that's one way
to look at it.
378
00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:28,551
What's another way?
379
00:17:28,651 --> 00:17:31,019
Oh, there's really just the one.
380
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,454
Well, it's Chris's fault, too.
381
00:17:33,555 --> 00:17:35,890
He used a map for evil.
382
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:37,492
Like a pirate.
383
00:17:37,592 --> 00:17:39,661
Yes, let it out.
384
00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:41,896
He targeted me for being kind.
385
00:17:41,996 --> 00:17:43,397
That's right, get mad!
386
00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:46,535
You know, I'm a nice person,
but don't fudge with me!
387
00:17:46,635 --> 00:17:47,602
Mm-hmm.
388
00:17:47,702 --> 00:17:50,238
Girl, hit something.
389
00:17:52,874 --> 00:17:54,375
He's not even good at pranks!
390
00:17:54,475 --> 00:17:55,610
He's not!
391
00:17:55,710 --> 00:17:57,679
And you never unload
the dishwasher.
392
00:17:57,779 --> 00:17:59,748
I won't argue,
'cause you're making progress.
393
00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:03,818
And Meyer lemons taste the same
as regular lemons!
394
00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:05,687
They're sweeter, but go on, sis!
395
00:18:05,787 --> 00:18:08,857
Yes, give me those tiny punches.
396
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:11,793
And they picked Bran to be king?
397
00:18:11,893 --> 00:18:17,398
Bran? He was gone
for a whole season!
398
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:24,105
- I feel so much better.
- All right!
399
00:18:24,205 --> 00:18:26,406
You want to buy
some Live Laugh Loofahs?
400
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:33,380
No. I want to rake my nails
across Chris's eyeballs
401
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,384
until blood spurts out of them
and I can drink it.
402
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,653
Okay.
403
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,288
I see you've reached catharsis.
404
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:42,890
Now you just need closure.
405
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,492
What I need is a straw
so I can drink
406
00:18:45,593 --> 00:18:47,695
Chris's eyeball blood.
407
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:51,999
Okay, yeah, maybe I need
some closure.
408
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,106
Millicent, why are you
all dressed up
409
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,641
if you're just
gonna confront Derek?
410
00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:03,076
Have you ever heard
of a revenge outfit?
411
00:19:03,944 --> 00:19:05,512
The zipper got stuck.
412
00:19:07,715 --> 00:19:09,416
What's lame?
413
00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:13,286
Derek. Sit.
414
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,124
Ah.
415
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,561
Does anyone else
want to sit too?
416
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:24,563
- I'll stand, thanks.
- You do you.
417
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,499
I will do me, but not
because you told me to.
418
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,670
Did you say something
to your mom on the phone
419
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,806
about being nice so that
"she does whatever you say"?
420
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:38,244
- Yes, but I was--
- But, but, but, but, but!
421
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,248
I should have known better
than to fall for your tricks.
422
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,617
After all, I am human,
while you have
423
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,519
the emotional intelligence
of an energy drink.
424
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,522
Millicent, I was talking
about my puppy, Athena.
425
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,425
I've been having trouble
with her, but our trainer said
426
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,629
if we were nicer,
she would do whatever I say.
427
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,666
Oh...
428
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,101
But you made me do all the work.
429
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,003
I didn't make you. You offered.
430
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:07,273
Which makes sense, 'cause you're
really good at doing projects.
431
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,709
And I'm really good
at having cool haircuts.
432
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,278
I was just trying
to make you happy.
433
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,013
Aw.
434
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,382
Why would you want me
to be happy?
435
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,484
Because D-money loves her.
436
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:23,454
M&M, you're smart.
I think you know why.
437
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,858
Space Needle?
I'd like to book a wedding.
438
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:30,561
Christmas Eve, 2042.
I'll be paying in crypto--
439
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:32,163
She hung up.
440
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:37,235
My lil' Milli Vanill'
has a boyfriend.
441
00:20:37,335 --> 00:20:39,938
Oh, wow, a boyfriend. Um...
442
00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:41,406
When you say the word like that,
443
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:43,274
just out loud, you know,
with your mouth...
444
00:20:43,374 --> 00:20:44,876
Catch me, dude.
445
00:20:44,976 --> 00:20:46,611
- I'm gonna faint.
- Oh, I got you.
446
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,613
Got--there he is.
447
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:57,388
I'm ready for closure.
With my cathar-sisterhood.
448
00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:59,991
I never should have
taught you that word.
449
00:21:00,091 --> 00:21:01,860
Shut up, he's here.
450
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,996
Hello? I'm here for
the discount illegal fireworks.
451
00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:07,799
Oh, Chris.
452
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:10,736
Chris, Chris, Chris.
453
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,504
Carly. I didn't know
you were into fireworks.
454
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:15,840
Want to go grab come M-80s
and piss off some dogs?
455
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:17,407
There are no fireworks, Chris.
456
00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:19,276
It didn't tip you off
457
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:21,746
when Lakeisha the jazz singer
invited you
458
00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:24,782
to the very warehouse
Fight Club was held in?
459
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:27,051
No.
460
00:21:27,151 --> 00:21:28,385
All right, bye.
461
00:21:28,485 --> 00:21:29,619
Kelly, get the door.
462
00:21:34,624 --> 00:21:36,293
What, am I supposed
to be scared?
463
00:21:36,393 --> 00:21:38,562
Okay, I'm scared.
464
00:21:39,363 --> 00:21:40,697
You should be.
465
00:21:41,799 --> 00:21:44,434
You hurt my feelings
when you took advantage
466
00:21:44,534 --> 00:21:46,670
of my kindness, Chris.
467
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:48,538
You hurt 'em real bad.
468
00:21:48,638 --> 00:21:51,876
I thought we were friends.
Friends, Chris.
469
00:21:51,976 --> 00:21:53,878
Like the show.
470
00:21:54,678 --> 00:21:56,446
What do I have to say
to make this stop?
471
00:21:56,546 --> 00:21:58,382
Oh, you don't have
to say a word,
472
00:21:58,482 --> 00:22:00,217
'cause we're gonna say 'em all.
473
00:22:02,452 --> 00:22:05,289
Oh, okay. Is this a prank?
Where are the cameras?
474
00:22:05,389 --> 00:22:07,724
Oh, no. This isn't a prank.
475
00:22:07,825 --> 00:22:09,894
This is just for us.
476
00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:13,262
And it's gonna be
healthy as hell.
477
00:22:13,362 --> 00:22:14,764
You're up, Kelly.
478
00:22:18,434 --> 00:22:22,238
Chris, because you exposed
Influencer Fight Club,
479
00:22:22,338 --> 00:22:24,407
all of my sponsors dropped me.
480
00:22:26,442 --> 00:22:28,177
I mean, I got new ones
481
00:22:28,277 --> 00:22:29,979
and I actually
make more money now,
482
00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:31,247
but you made me do paperwork.
483
00:22:33,649 --> 00:22:34,583
Hey, Chris!
484
00:22:38,888 --> 00:22:41,557
Influencer Fight Club
was the only thing
485
00:22:41,657 --> 00:22:44,393
that brought me happiness
and you took that away from me.
486
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:46,195
Whose ass am I supposed
to kick now?
487
00:22:46,295 --> 00:22:48,631
I think Chris's ass.
488
00:22:52,401 --> 00:22:54,137
Right in the moneymaker!
489
00:22:58,307 --> 00:23:00,476
Hope he still has
that hospital gown.
490
00:23:00,576 --> 00:23:02,578
- Smackdown selfie?
- Oh, yeah!
491
00:23:08,351 --> 00:23:12,154
You pranked him with a fake
fireworks sale? That's nothing.
492
00:23:12,254 --> 00:23:13,688
Just let me have this.
493
00:23:13,788 --> 00:23:15,690
Plus, your Pranks
Anonymous sponsor
494
00:23:15,790 --> 00:23:17,960
said you shouldn't even
be talking about pranks.
495
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:20,462
I'm not! I'm talking about
496
00:23:20,562 --> 00:23:22,965
other ways you could've
gotten closure.
497
00:23:23,065 --> 00:23:26,001
Like putting clear nail polish
on his soap,
498
00:23:26,101 --> 00:23:29,537
or replacing every book
in his apartment with Twilight,
499
00:23:29,637 --> 00:23:31,806
or sending him a photo of me
500
00:23:31,907 --> 00:23:34,242
licking all of his pens
two weeks earlier.
501
00:23:34,342 --> 00:23:36,544
Oh, God, I've got a taste
and I need more.
502
00:23:36,644 --> 00:23:39,181
I gotta prank! Hold me back!
503
00:23:39,281 --> 00:23:40,448
It's not working!
504
00:23:40,548 --> 00:23:42,017
- You're too small!
- I know!
505
00:23:42,117 --> 00:23:43,285
- Get bigger!
- I can't!
506
00:23:43,385 --> 00:23:44,887
Where's my pranking kit?
507
00:24:12,479 --> 00:24:14,181
Ooh!
508
00:24:14,281 --> 00:24:16,483
He hates these cans.
37601
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof