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1
00:00:03,468 --> 00:00:06,672
Okay, never have I ever
gone skydiving.
2
00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:10,641
Never have I ever
gone skydiving naked.
3
00:00:12,744 --> 00:00:15,079
- With triplets.
- All right.
4
00:00:16,715 --> 00:00:20,118
Look, I dated adventurous,
body-positive triplets.
5
00:00:20,218 --> 00:00:21,619
And if you
wanna get me sloppy,
6
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,286
stay on the triplet thing.
7
00:00:23,386 --> 00:00:24,822
We just know you're still bummed
8
00:00:24,922 --> 00:00:26,089
about breaking up
with Double Dutch,
9
00:00:26,189 --> 00:00:27,457
and playing Never Have I Ever
10
00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:29,893
is a surefire way
to get you drunk.
11
00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:31,361
I'll go again.
12
00:00:31,461 --> 00:00:33,563
Never have I ever
completely screwed up
13
00:00:33,663 --> 00:00:37,333
my friend's app launch party
in a mind-bogglingly stupid way
14
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:40,169
by making it a funeral.
15
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,072
Now me.
16
00:00:43,172 --> 00:00:47,043
Never have I ever
been divorced twice.
17
00:00:48,177 --> 00:00:50,345
Before I turned 30.
18
00:00:51,579 --> 00:00:53,081
Why'd you drink?
19
00:00:53,181 --> 00:00:56,517
Oh, I just wanted to remind
everyone that I'm not 30 yet.
20
00:00:56,617 --> 00:00:59,888
I don't want to play anymore.
This game's boring.
21
00:00:59,988 --> 00:01:02,423
Oh, let's play that game
where everybody
22
00:01:02,523 --> 00:01:04,825
just takes sips
whenever they want.
23
00:01:04,925 --> 00:01:06,861
Commonly known as drinking.
24
00:01:06,961 --> 00:01:09,229
Yeah, you don't like
playing this game
25
00:01:09,329 --> 00:01:11,932
because you've never
done anything.
26
00:01:12,032 --> 00:01:13,868
I've done stuff.
27
00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:15,269
Mm.
28
00:01:15,369 --> 00:01:17,271
Why doesn't anyone say,
"never have I ever
29
00:01:17,371 --> 00:01:19,873
gotten a really messed-up perm"
or "never have I ever
30
00:01:19,973 --> 00:01:23,076
just assumed the show
was called Downtown Abbey"?
31
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:26,445
We don't say those things
because they're boring.
32
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,983
Well, I guess I'm just
the boring one in the group.
33
00:01:31,584 --> 00:01:32,885
- What?
- That's crazy!
34
00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:34,920
- Have you met Freddie?
- Hey.
35
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:36,922
Oh, my God,
you do think I'm boring.
36
00:01:37,022 --> 00:01:38,356
You're not boring.
37
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:40,759
Responsible?
Yes.
38
00:01:40,859 --> 00:01:42,928
Stable?
For sure.
39
00:01:43,028 --> 00:01:45,363
Sensible?
The sensiblest.
40
00:01:45,463 --> 00:01:50,134
Well, would a sensible person
do this?
41
00:01:54,872 --> 00:01:56,340
What is this?
42
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,143
Well, you never drink anyway,
so I just mixed up
43
00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:01,677
all the expired condiments
from my fridge.
44
00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:04,114
And a little tequila.
45
00:02:04,214 --> 00:02:06,449
- Ooh, let me get a taste.
- Oh, no.
46
00:02:07,918 --> 00:02:10,020
I know you see ♪
47
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,588
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
48
00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:16,191
And be so wonderful ♪
49
00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:20,195
♪ So wake up the members
of my nation ♪
50
00:02:20,295 --> 00:02:21,864
It's your time to be ♪
51
00:02:21,964 --> 00:02:24,699
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
52
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,469
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
53
00:02:27,569 --> 00:02:30,671
Of every situation ♪
54
00:02:30,771 --> 00:02:32,706
♪ Some things
are meant to be ♪
55
00:02:32,807 --> 00:02:36,544
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me ♪
56
00:02:41,049 --> 00:02:42,783
Wild and crazy thought.
57
00:02:42,884 --> 00:02:45,518
What if we went out tonight?
58
00:02:45,618 --> 00:02:47,888
Carly, you don't have
to do that.
59
00:02:47,988 --> 00:02:50,824
You're allowed to be
a sweet little yarn queen.
60
00:02:50,924 --> 00:02:52,492
But I'm not.
61
00:02:52,592 --> 00:02:54,661
Look.
62
00:02:54,761 --> 00:02:56,363
Ooh.
63
00:02:56,463 --> 00:02:58,430
Carly, I don't think
you're boring.
64
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:02,201
I think you're pre-exciting.
65
00:03:02,301 --> 00:03:04,636
Plus, every friend group
needs a Carly.
66
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:07,306
'Cause after a Harper
goes out and gets turnt,
67
00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:10,176
she needs a Carly to Postmate
her hungover ass
68
00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:12,177
eggs Benny the next morning.
69
00:03:13,311 --> 00:03:16,347
Well, what if, just this once,
70
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:19,084
you take me out
and we both get turned?
71
00:03:19,184 --> 00:03:21,386
Carly, I just wanna stay home
72
00:03:21,486 --> 00:03:23,588
and wallow
in my post-breakup sadness,
73
00:03:23,688 --> 00:03:25,722
and watch that new
Kacey Musgraves special.
74
00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:28,158
That's a surreal,
post-divorce fever dream.
75
00:03:28,258 --> 00:03:30,594
It's basically white Lemonade.
76
00:03:31,495 --> 00:03:34,198
Okay.
I guess we'll stay in.
77
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,369
I'm just playing.
We're going out!
78
00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:42,605
Oh, my God!
That was so exciting!
79
00:03:42,705 --> 00:03:45,508
- I'm gonna rip my robe off, too.
- Oh, yes!
80
00:03:48,077 --> 00:03:50,213
Are those unicorn pajamas?
81
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,681
Did you see he's dabbing?
82
00:03:52,781 --> 00:03:54,649
Nah.
83
00:04:01,523 --> 00:04:04,326
You ready to see
the new Kevin office space?
84
00:04:04,426 --> 00:04:07,828
Be prepared.
It looks worse than it smells.
85
00:04:12,299 --> 00:04:14,668
- This is the Groovy Smoothie.
- It sure is!
86
00:04:14,768 --> 00:04:16,237
Why are we here?
87
00:04:16,337 --> 00:04:17,905
And why'd you have
to drive me around town
88
00:04:18,005 --> 00:04:19,240
for two hours blindfolded?
89
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:20,341
This place is right around
the corner.
90
00:04:20,441 --> 00:04:21,808
I had to run some errands.
91
00:04:21,908 --> 00:04:24,277
I like to pay
all my utility bills in person.
92
00:04:25,445 --> 00:04:28,448
I bought the Groovy Smoothie
to make it up to you
93
00:04:28,548 --> 00:04:30,516
for screwing up
your Kevin app launch party.
94
00:04:30,616 --> 00:04:32,518
Why would you think
95
00:04:32,618 --> 00:04:34,287
that an old, dilapidated
smoothie place...
96
00:04:34,387 --> 00:04:35,755
An old, dilapidated
smoothie place
97
00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:38,557
that's been closed
due to an oversized rat problem.
98
00:04:38,657 --> 00:04:41,326
...would make good office space?
99
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:44,163
Because this place is iconic.
100
00:04:44,263 --> 00:04:46,698
Plus, not only
do we get an office,
101
00:04:46,798 --> 00:04:49,768
we get to run a restaurant,
which is so fun.
102
00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:51,469
You get your own booth.
103
00:04:51,569 --> 00:04:53,637
You get to enter
through the kitchen.
104
00:04:53,737 --> 00:04:56,040
You get to send
a bottle of wine
105
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:58,709
to another table
and just nod.
106
00:04:58,809 --> 00:05:01,779
You can do that without
opening up your own restaurant.
107
00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:03,447
You can?
108
00:05:03,547 --> 00:05:05,915
Damn it, that's a very
expensive lesson.
109
00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:10,988
But look, all big tech start-ups
have unique work spaces.
110
00:05:11,088 --> 00:05:14,757
Etsy's commissary is just
a birdhouse made of hot glue.
111
00:05:15,658 --> 00:05:18,494
You know what? Yeah.
Yeah, maybe this could work.
112
00:05:18,594 --> 00:05:20,262
I could set up a little
office space right over there.
113
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,231
Oh, that's where
the koi pond is gonna go.
114
00:05:23,099 --> 00:05:24,866
Obviously. Uh...
115
00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:26,402
Well, maybe I could take over
the second floor
116
00:05:26,502 --> 00:05:28,004
and make that Kevin HQ?
117
00:05:28,104 --> 00:05:30,439
Actually, I was gonna open
a dialysis center up there.
118
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,740
Did you know anyone
can start one of those?
119
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,342
Huh.
120
00:05:34,442 --> 00:05:37,878
I'm gonna set up a video call
with an animal shelter in Japan.
121
00:05:37,979 --> 00:05:40,015
I'm trying to get 'em to donate
a bunch of puppies to Kevin.
122
00:05:40,115 --> 00:05:42,817
- Millicent's here to translate.
- You speak Japanese?
123
00:05:50,757 --> 00:05:52,926
I didn't understand
any of that.
124
00:05:53,027 --> 00:05:54,861
Do you speak Japanese or not?
125
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,635
Yum!
These drinks are so good.
126
00:06:02,735 --> 00:06:05,204
I can't even taste
the alcohol in them.
127
00:06:05,304 --> 00:06:06,839
They're dangerous.
128
00:06:09,042 --> 00:06:12,511
So, what's the wild and crazy
itinerary for tonight?
129
00:06:12,611 --> 00:06:16,248
Ooh, first up, don't use words
like "itinerary."
130
00:06:16,881 --> 00:06:19,117
We're just gonna see where
the night takes us, cool?
131
00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:22,620
Totally, I don't need every
single little thing scheduled.
132
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,790
- Yes.
- No plan, no problem.
133
00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:28,126
Okay, Carly, look,
if you don't wanna do this--
134
00:06:28,226 --> 00:06:29,760
Oh, no, I want to do this.
135
00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,296
I've never wanted
anything more.
136
00:06:32,396 --> 00:06:34,365
Except maybe an itinerary
for tonight.
137
00:06:34,465 --> 00:06:37,201
I'll drop it eventually.
Come on, let's go!
138
00:06:39,736 --> 00:06:41,605
Mm! Mm.
139
00:06:44,507 --> 00:06:46,176
Ooh, are those
for car sickness?
140
00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:47,377
I would love
to get in on that.
141
00:06:47,477 --> 00:06:49,279
Oh, this is ACD.
142
00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:51,847
- It's a new organic club drug.
- How's it make you feel?
143
00:06:51,947 --> 00:06:54,317
Like you just jumped
out of a plane booty-naked,
144
00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:56,652
and as we've established,
I would know.
145
00:06:57,419 --> 00:07:00,089
- Give me one!
- Oh, girl, please, you are not ready for this.
146
00:07:00,189 --> 00:07:04,593
Oh, come on, I want the full
Harper-night-out experience.
147
00:07:04,693 --> 00:07:06,861
Drinks, drugs,
triplets, car sickness.
148
00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,163
I can handle it.
149
00:07:08,263 --> 00:07:10,399
Okay!
150
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:11,899
Cheers!
151
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,268
Oh, do you have a pill-cutter?
It's a little big.
152
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:16,637
Swallow it whole
or give it back.
153
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,306
Cheers.
154
00:07:20,408 --> 00:07:22,476
Mm!
155
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,944
I think I feel it already!
156
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:27,614
No, you don't.
But I love the enthusiasm.
157
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,057
Oh, my God.
158
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,891
I gave the bartender
a fake number
159
00:07:39,991 --> 00:07:41,727
and got these drinks for free.
160
00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:43,595
Ooh!
161
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:45,764
It's him.
162
00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,799
I guess I gave him
the right number.
163
00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:49,067
I am wasted.
164
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:51,036
Yeah!
165
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,172
I'm proud of how crazy
you're being.
166
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,373
But I wanna get even crazier,
167
00:07:55,473 --> 00:07:57,908
Okay, tell me what to do.
What do you do?
168
00:07:58,008 --> 00:07:59,377
Okay, well, you can't do
what I do
169
00:07:59,477 --> 00:08:00,878
because you have underwear on.
170
00:08:00,978 --> 00:08:03,013
But, for somebody
at your level,
171
00:08:03,114 --> 00:08:05,616
you could kiss a stranger.
172
00:08:05,716 --> 00:08:07,252
How 'bout...
173
00:08:07,352 --> 00:08:09,653
- Him!
- Okay.
174
00:08:11,521 --> 00:08:12,822
Can I kiss you?
175
00:08:12,922 --> 00:08:14,358
Absolutely.
176
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:15,992
Okay.
177
00:08:19,028 --> 00:08:21,165
Thank you.
Thank you.
178
00:08:22,231 --> 00:08:24,099
- Did you see that?
- Mm-hmm.
179
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,935
Okay, what crazy thing
can I do next?
180
00:08:27,035 --> 00:08:29,205
You could get into a bar fight.
181
00:08:29,972 --> 00:08:31,140
Can it be
with the same guy?
182
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,041
I feel very comfortable
with him.
183
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:36,411
Can I fight you?
184
00:08:36,511 --> 00:08:38,946
- No.
- What if he says no?
185
00:08:39,046 --> 00:08:41,416
- Throw a drink in his face.
- Okay.
186
00:08:41,516 --> 00:08:42,950
- Can I throw a drink in your face?
- Just do it!
187
00:08:43,050 --> 00:08:44,252
Okay!
188
00:08:44,352 --> 00:08:45,587
Ah!
189
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,956
Thank you.
Thank you.
190
00:08:50,591 --> 00:08:54,060
Okay, whatever this feeling is,
I gotta get more of it.
191
00:08:54,161 --> 00:08:55,396
I have to keep it going.
192
00:08:55,496 --> 00:08:57,298
I'm gonna steal
the bar garnish tray.
193
00:08:59,099 --> 00:09:01,302
Whoo!
194
00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:05,805
You can keep the olives. Yuck.
195
00:09:05,905 --> 00:09:07,807
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
196
00:09:07,907 --> 00:09:09,975
So, thank you
for considering donating dogs
197
00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:11,076
for my app, Yusaku.
198
00:09:18,717 --> 00:09:22,153
Ah, you ready
for another surprise?
199
00:09:22,254 --> 00:09:23,655
Spencer, I'm in a meeting.
200
00:09:23,755 --> 00:09:25,156
Yeah, surprises don't care
about meetings, buddy.
201
00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:29,228
- No, no, dude!
- One, two, sticks!
202
00:09:30,562 --> 00:09:33,063
Look what I found.
T-Bo's old food sticks.
203
00:09:33,163 --> 00:09:36,166
I think that's just
a large nest.
204
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,735
Spencer, what about
all the office supplies
205
00:09:37,835 --> 00:09:39,169
I told you to get?
206
00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:40,604
It's the digital age, my dude.
207
00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:43,173
No one uses pens
or pads or paper anymore.
208
00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:45,709
Now, sticks,
on the other hand...
209
00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:49,111
Spencer, I don't know
about this whole
210
00:09:49,212 --> 00:09:51,648
office-combination-restaurant
thing.
211
00:09:51,748 --> 00:09:53,283
I gotta get Yusaku back.
212
00:09:53,383 --> 00:09:55,017
He probably thinks I hung up
on him, or that I was kidnapped.
213
00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:57,053
You're so cute.
214
00:09:57,153 --> 00:09:58,721
I'd totally kidnap you.
215
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:04,326
Millicent, you're a child.
216
00:10:04,426 --> 00:10:05,727
You believe in magical things.
217
00:10:05,827 --> 00:10:08,163
You think finding
these sticks is a sign
218
00:10:08,264 --> 00:10:10,632
to restore the Groovy Smoothie
to its old glory?
219
00:10:10,732 --> 00:10:11,967
I think it's a sign
220
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,002
we should check the freezers
for squatters.
221
00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:15,570
I already did.
222
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,738
All I found were moldy
Otter Pops and a severed hand.
223
00:10:17,838 --> 00:10:19,874
Which reminds me,
I gotta call the cops.
224
00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:23,311
If it were me, I wouldn't just
redo what this place was.
225
00:10:23,411 --> 00:10:25,446
I would make it
what I want it to be.
226
00:10:26,314 --> 00:10:27,548
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
227
00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:29,849
So, like, instead of food
on sticks,
228
00:10:29,949 --> 00:10:32,586
we could do-- wait for it--
229
00:10:32,686 --> 00:10:33,853
food on food?
230
00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:35,955
That could be fun.
We could use jicama.
231
00:10:36,055 --> 00:10:38,692
That's what I'm talking about,
jicama is perfect.
232
00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:40,294
What is jicama?
233
00:10:40,394 --> 00:10:42,396
Spencer, would you keep it down?
234
00:10:42,496 --> 00:10:44,129
Yusaku's trying
to tell me something.
235
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:45,598
Millicent?
236
00:10:49,468 --> 00:10:51,404
- What did he say?
- He said jicama
237
00:10:51,504 --> 00:10:53,138
is a light
and refreshing vegetable
238
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:55,341
you sometimes see in salads.
239
00:10:56,509 --> 00:10:57,609
Oh.
240
00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:04,349
Woo-hoo!
Nailed it!
241
00:11:04,449 --> 00:11:05,750
You mind if I leave now?
242
00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:07,585
There's only one more bus
I can catch to get home.
243
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:09,687
Oh. Yeah.
244
00:11:10,388 --> 00:11:13,189
Man, you are
showing me up tonight,
245
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,625
getting all buck wild.
246
00:11:14,725 --> 00:11:17,060
You're not getting turned,
you getting turnt!
247
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,531
Oh, it has a hard "T".
"Turnt."
248
00:11:20,631 --> 00:11:23,367
- Mm.
- It has a bite to it.
249
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,001
Look, you kissed,
you fought,
250
00:11:26,101 --> 00:11:27,837
you threw a drink
in a guy's face,
251
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,539
plus you stole drink garnishes
252
00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:32,408
and you won $42
in an illegal craps game.
253
00:11:32,508 --> 00:11:34,176
- Those guys were nice.
- Mm-hmm.
254
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,945
I really liked
the guy who got stabbed.
255
00:11:36,045 --> 00:11:38,213
We should've helped him.
256
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:42,617
Hey.
257
00:11:43,752 --> 00:11:44,953
Let's get inked.
258
00:11:45,053 --> 00:11:46,521
I don't know.
259
00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:49,924
Tattoos are very forever,
and I think you'll regret it.
260
00:11:50,024 --> 00:11:52,361
Let's do something else.
We could go back to the bar
261
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:55,796
and steal those coasters
that say "You had me at Merlot."
262
00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,965
I want to get a tattoo.
263
00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:01,769
Plus, being wild and crazy
means having no regrets.
264
00:12:01,869 --> 00:12:03,170
You know who has regrets?
265
00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:05,072
People who marry
their high school sweethearts?
266
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:06,874
Boring people.
267
00:12:06,974 --> 00:12:08,508
Come on, let's do it.
268
00:12:08,608 --> 00:12:11,544
All right,
let's keep it crazy!
269
00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:13,346
Okay.
270
00:12:13,446 --> 00:12:14,781
Do you know
what you're gonna get?
271
00:12:14,881 --> 00:12:16,115
Oh, no brainer.
272
00:12:16,215 --> 00:12:18,385
A cute little bunny
on my right ankle.
273
00:12:18,485 --> 00:12:22,488
I meant, a cute little bunny
holding a knife,
274
00:12:22,588 --> 00:12:26,324
and a gun, and another gun,
on my right ankle.
275
00:12:27,192 --> 00:12:28,860
Left ankle?
276
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,195
Both ankles?
277
00:12:30,295 --> 00:12:32,263
More guns.
Got it.
278
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,734
Millicent, hey, wake up.
I need your help.
279
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:40,571
Dude speaks English.
He knew "jicama."
280
00:12:41,572 --> 00:12:44,709
Ha-ha! Yes!
281
00:12:44,809 --> 00:12:46,511
Don't look now!
282
00:12:46,611 --> 00:12:47,945
I'm just kidding,
you should look.
283
00:12:48,045 --> 00:12:49,547
Look right at me.
284
00:12:49,647 --> 00:12:51,247
Oh my God, dude,
what are you doing?
285
00:12:51,347 --> 00:12:53,650
Well, I wasn't really feeling
the whole food-on-food thing,
286
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:57,120
then I had a brainstorm.
What about food on wheels?
287
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,888
I feel like
you're three ideas away
288
00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:01,891
from something that doesn't even
involve food.
289
00:13:01,991 --> 00:13:04,827
I was trying to think about
what this restaurant should be.
290
00:13:04,927 --> 00:13:06,829
And then I thought,
why reinvent the wheel?
291
00:13:06,929 --> 00:13:08,296
That's when it hit me.
292
00:13:08,397 --> 00:13:11,099
Wheels...
everywhere.
293
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:12,401
Freddie, what do you think?
294
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,302
I think I have a work call
295
00:13:14,403 --> 00:13:16,839
and I do not have time
for this tomfoolery.
296
00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:18,373
Mm, shenanigans, maybe.
297
00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:20,141
Tomfoolery, never!
298
00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:22,109
Whoo!
Coming back around!
299
00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:25,212
♪ He's got wheels
and he knows how to use 'em ♪
300
00:13:25,312 --> 00:13:26,548
You know what, dude,
301
00:13:26,648 --> 00:13:28,349
you were supposed
to be my partner in this,
302
00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:30,452
and you haven't done
one thing to help me.
303
00:13:30,552 --> 00:13:32,219
I pulled that rat
off your back.
304
00:13:32,319 --> 00:13:33,987
There was a rat on my back?
305
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:38,859
Spencer, at this point
I think it would be better
306
00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:41,595
if you just left me alone.
307
00:13:42,395 --> 00:13:43,997
Fine.
I will--
308
00:13:45,799 --> 00:13:47,066
No!
309
00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:49,401
Yusaku!
310
00:13:49,502 --> 00:13:51,336
Great.
I lost him.
311
00:13:51,437 --> 00:13:53,573
I know what we're all thinking.
312
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:56,576
If the laptop was on wheels,
it wouldn't have broke.
313
00:13:56,676 --> 00:13:58,478
That's not what I'm thinking.
314
00:13:58,578 --> 00:14:02,280
I'm thinking this whole
situation is not working.
315
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,248
Dude, you need to make
a decision, okay?
316
00:14:04,348 --> 00:14:05,650
You can keep playing restaurant
317
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,218
or you can work
on the Kevin app.
318
00:14:07,318 --> 00:14:09,353
But you cannot do both!
319
00:14:12,824 --> 00:14:14,958
- Help me clean this mess up.
- Do I have to?
320
00:14:15,058 --> 00:14:16,927
Yes, and quickly,
before the rats come!
321
00:14:22,032 --> 00:14:23,701
Oh...
322
00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:26,036
I didn't think
you'd go through with it.
323
00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:28,271
I'm impressed.
Did it hurt?
324
00:14:28,371 --> 00:14:30,039
No.
I probably didn't feel it
325
00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:32,475
'cause I'm on so many drugs
and alcohols.
326
00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:35,578
Well, you know, Carly,
I think we checked all the boxes
327
00:14:35,678 --> 00:14:38,147
for a wild and crazy night.
You ready to go home?
328
00:14:38,247 --> 00:14:39,949
No way.
Let's keep going.
329
00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:41,651
Let's do more crazy stuff.
330
00:14:41,751 --> 00:14:45,453
I mean, kindergarten teachers
get drunk and get tattoos now.
331
00:14:45,554 --> 00:14:47,589
Not hating on them.
So necessary.
332
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:49,357
But, like, we can do better.
333
00:14:52,027 --> 00:14:53,729
Why are you looking
at that fountain
334
00:14:53,829 --> 00:14:56,397
like a teenager
who just discovered porn?
335
00:14:57,565 --> 00:14:59,534
- No! No!
- Ah! Yes, yes, yes!
336
00:14:59,634 --> 00:15:01,101
- Carly!
- Yes!
337
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,203
- No!
- Ah!
338
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,939
What the hell, Carly?
339
00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,441
We're like the guys
on Jackass.
340
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,477
Hi.
341
00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:12,045
You should exit
the fountain now.
342
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,614
Carly, come on,
let's go home.
343
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,716
This guy seems serious.
He's got a cell phone holster
344
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,451
and a little gold
plastic badge.
345
00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:20,554
Ladies, just come out
of the fountain.
346
00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:23,557
Or what?
You gonna take us to mall jail?
347
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,694
Did you guys steal
black lipstick
348
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,563
to get back at your mom, too?
349
00:15:39,237 --> 00:15:40,504
All right,
here's our escape plan.
350
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:41,773
- You distract the mall cop.
- With what?
351
00:15:41,873 --> 00:15:43,775
Okay, fine.
I'll sing!
352
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:45,877
Yeah.
But if that doesn't work,
353
00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,712
- I can do my Borat impression.
- Ooh.
354
00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:48,946
It's the best.
355
00:15:50,548 --> 00:15:52,950
"My wife."
356
00:15:55,652 --> 00:15:57,453
Wait.
357
00:15:57,554 --> 00:15:59,055
Is this normal?
358
00:15:59,155 --> 00:16:02,926
I know we paid with a coupon,
but this doesn't seem right.
359
00:16:03,026 --> 00:16:04,628
Oh. Well,
when you first get them,
360
00:16:04,728 --> 00:16:07,430
real tattoos run
when they get wet, mm-hmm.
361
00:16:08,998 --> 00:16:11,767
Why'd you say "real tattoos"?
362
00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,402
So close.
363
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:15,771
The tattoo's fake.
364
00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:18,540
I told the guy
to give you temporary ink.
365
00:16:18,641 --> 00:16:19,875
Why?
366
00:16:19,975 --> 00:16:21,844
Because you were only
getting it to prove
367
00:16:21,944 --> 00:16:23,411
how wild and crazy you are.
368
00:16:23,511 --> 00:16:26,280
And you wanted a rabbit
with all these weapons.
369
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:28,983
You don't even like weapons,
or rabbits.
370
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,921
I'm gonna need to take
your blood alcohol level.
371
00:16:33,021 --> 00:16:34,455
Blow into this.
372
00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:36,223
How high does it have to be
to get me in trouble?
373
00:16:36,323 --> 00:16:37,524
Because I have a feeling
374
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:39,660
it's gonna be
much higher than that.
375
00:16:44,164 --> 00:16:46,066
Zero point zero.
376
00:16:49,469 --> 00:16:53,405
Yeah, there was no alcohol
in those drinks.
377
00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:55,441
And the drugs were fake as well.
378
00:16:55,541 --> 00:16:58,144
Look, ACD is just
vitamins A, C and D.
379
00:16:58,244 --> 00:17:00,913
You gave me
- a Women's One-
- A-Day?
380
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:03,683
- Women's One-
- A-Day for Seniors.
381
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:06,718
Well, the joke's on you.
382
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,586
'Cause I didn't take the ACD.
383
00:17:08,687 --> 00:17:11,189
I hid it under my tongue
and then I spit it out,
384
00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:14,325
like a girl in a movie
about an amoral mental hospital.
385
00:17:15,293 --> 00:17:16,995
I can't believe
you lied to me.
386
00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:19,697
Hey, all I wanted to do
was stay at home
387
00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:22,332
and watch Kacey
find herself through her pain.
388
00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:25,435
Instead, I'm out here playing
cool auntie to quiet niece.
389
00:17:25,535 --> 00:17:27,404
Was the guy I kissed fake, too?
390
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:30,340
He's my dentist.
He thinks you're cute, though.
391
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,242
You had me throw a drink
in his face.
392
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:33,777
Well, that'll teach him
to tell me
393
00:17:33,877 --> 00:17:36,445
how hot my friends are
when he's cleaning my teeth.
394
00:17:36,545 --> 00:17:39,415
Harper giveth,
Harper taketh away.
395
00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:46,555
Okay.
So, I made a list
396
00:17:46,656 --> 00:17:48,356
of all the reasons
to run the Groovy Smoothie
397
00:17:48,456 --> 00:17:50,425
and all the reasons to run
the Kevin app.
398
00:17:50,525 --> 00:17:55,597
Okay, under restaurant
I've got: run my own business,
399
00:17:55,698 --> 00:17:57,332
more keys,
400
00:17:57,432 --> 00:18:00,468
potential to become
a front for the Russian mob,
401
00:18:00,568 --> 00:18:05,372
and install a bidet,
but only for VIPs.
402
00:18:05,472 --> 00:18:09,844
And under Kevin app I've got:
I won't let Freddie down.
403
00:18:10,577 --> 00:18:12,213
Well, if you're going
with the longest list,
404
00:18:12,313 --> 00:18:13,480
I think it's clear.
405
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,515
If you're going with
the dumbest list,
406
00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:16,883
it's also clear.
407
00:18:17,718 --> 00:18:19,585
Yeah, but how
do I tell Freddie?
408
00:18:19,686 --> 00:18:21,187
You just did.
409
00:18:23,056 --> 00:18:24,958
Wow, that was easier
than I expected.
410
00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:28,661
Look, let's face it, you're not
a good business partner.
411
00:18:28,762 --> 00:18:30,095
I said get an office,
412
00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:31,997
you got a restaurant
filled with rats.
413
00:18:32,097 --> 00:18:34,834
Instead of a launch party,
you threw me a funeral.
414
00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:37,236
I fear that every one
of your ideas from now on
415
00:18:37,336 --> 00:18:38,804
is going to involve wheels.
416
00:18:38,904 --> 00:18:41,140
I'd like to tell you that
you're wrong, but you're not.
417
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,075
Wheels of cheese!
418
00:18:43,175 --> 00:18:44,876
I'm sorry, I can't stop.
419
00:18:45,777 --> 00:18:48,212
Look, this restaurant
is clearly scratching
420
00:18:48,312 --> 00:18:50,248
some creative itch
that you have.
421
00:18:50,348 --> 00:18:53,251
So, you should just do it, man.
I'll be fine.
422
00:18:53,351 --> 00:18:55,186
Yeah, but I don't want to
leave you hanging.
423
00:18:55,286 --> 00:18:56,755
Can I just give you money
and have nothing to do
424
00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:57,921
with the app whatsoever?
425
00:18:58,021 --> 00:18:59,757
Spencer,
go run your restaurant.
426
00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:01,224
You're the best.
427
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:04,061
You know, if this
is gonna be your place,
428
00:19:04,161 --> 00:19:05,595
it should feel like you.
429
00:19:05,695 --> 00:19:07,464
Yeah, I like that.
430
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:10,934
It needs to express
the essence of my very soul.
431
00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:15,371
I need to take what's in here
and what's in here,
432
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:20,276
and put it on here,
and also in here.
433
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,679
A new restaurant.
They rarely fail.
434
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,081
Can it still pander
to the fans of the original?
435
00:19:26,181 --> 00:19:27,382
Of course.
436
00:19:27,482 --> 00:19:29,350
How else are you
supposed to succeed?
437
00:19:38,894 --> 00:19:41,228
So, I guess you really do
think I'm boring.
438
00:19:41,328 --> 00:19:43,163
Why else would have you
faked all this?
439
00:19:43,263 --> 00:19:44,999
It's not about that.
440
00:19:45,099 --> 00:19:46,666
I just think that
the Carly I know
441
00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:48,735
wouldn't enjoy
a Harper night out.
442
00:19:48,836 --> 00:19:50,137
But that's okay.
443
00:19:51,305 --> 00:19:53,040
So, you don't think
I'm your boring friend?
444
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:55,775
The fact that you're knitting
right now isn't helping.
445
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:59,178
Oh, no, this is crocheting.
That's a common misconception.
446
00:19:59,278 --> 00:20:01,147
Okay, that's not helping, either.
447
00:20:01,247 --> 00:20:03,917
But, Carly,
you're not my boring friend.
448
00:20:04,017 --> 00:20:07,286
You're my best friend,
and my smart friend,
449
00:20:07,386 --> 00:20:09,421
and my go-to-for-advice friend.
450
00:20:09,521 --> 00:20:11,189
You think I'd ask
any of those crazy fools
451
00:20:11,289 --> 00:20:12,624
I party with for advice?
452
00:20:12,724 --> 00:20:14,692
Their fix to every problem
is making a TikTok
453
00:20:14,793 --> 00:20:16,728
twerking in front
of an infinity pool.
454
00:20:17,863 --> 00:20:21,166
You know, the real reason
I faked this whole night
455
00:20:21,266 --> 00:20:23,200
was because I wanted
to look out for you,
456
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,269
like you always
look out for me.
457
00:20:25,369 --> 00:20:27,204
This was my eggs Benny, baby.
458
00:20:28,005 --> 00:20:29,706
You guys wanna
bust outta here?
459
00:20:29,807 --> 00:20:31,809
Stole this flare gun
from my mom's boat.
460
00:20:31,909 --> 00:20:36,679
Next time she gets lost at sea,
this'll show her.
461
00:20:37,948 --> 00:20:41,784
You know what?
I think I got this.
462
00:20:44,387 --> 00:20:46,489
Mr. Mall Cop!
463
00:20:48,691 --> 00:20:52,161
Oh, I couldn't help but notice
that framed picture on your desk
464
00:20:52,261 --> 00:20:53,963
of your beautiful
baby daughter.
465
00:20:54,063 --> 00:20:56,765
Do you think she might like
this one-of-a-kind,
466
00:20:56,866 --> 00:20:58,200
unique, hand-made scarf?
467
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,568
Oh.
468
00:20:59,668 --> 00:21:02,204
This is almost as special
as she is.
469
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,306
Thank you.
470
00:21:04,406 --> 00:21:05,573
Hey, if I let you guys go,
do you promise
471
00:21:05,673 --> 00:21:07,108
never to do anything
like this again?
472
00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:08,542
No.
473
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,311
Eh, I don't care, we're closing
474
00:21:10,411 --> 00:21:11,946
in ten minutes anyways.
You can go.
475
00:21:12,046 --> 00:21:13,814
Yay.
476
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:17,751
Look what Daddy got you.
477
00:21:18,552 --> 00:21:20,587
I still hate you
more than Mom.
478
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:28,361
Never have I ever jumped
into a mall fountain
479
00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:31,798
and been put in mall jail.
480
00:21:41,207 --> 00:21:42,808
No one here can crochet.
481
00:21:44,610 --> 00:21:48,479
Guys, guys, guys!
After much deliberation,
482
00:21:48,579 --> 00:21:50,481
I have finally settled
on a new name
483
00:21:50,581 --> 00:21:51,917
for the Groovy Smoothie.
484
00:21:52,017 --> 00:21:54,685
At first, I considered
The Smooth Groove,
485
00:21:54,785 --> 00:21:57,355
but apparently that's a very
litigious jazz label.
486
00:21:57,455 --> 00:21:59,657
He also considered
The Smooth Move,
487
00:21:59,757 --> 00:22:02,692
but apparently that's a very
litigious laxative brand.
488
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,496
So, we landed on this.
489
00:22:08,332 --> 00:22:10,300
Eh?
490
00:22:11,902 --> 00:22:13,437
Do you not see
what we're seeing?
491
00:22:13,537 --> 00:22:16,005
Of course I do.
Bar F!
492
00:22:16,105 --> 00:22:19,575
As in Bar Food,
Bar Fly, Bar Friends.
493
00:22:19,675 --> 00:22:23,846
Plus, we're on F Street.
Guys, it's the perfect name.
494
00:22:23,947 --> 00:22:27,917
Dude, you named
your restaurant Barf.
495
00:22:29,717 --> 00:22:31,053
I did do that,
didn't I?
496
00:22:31,153 --> 00:22:32,454
Man, I am really glad
497
00:22:32,554 --> 00:22:34,489
you don't work
on Kevin anymore.
498
00:22:35,423 --> 00:22:38,060
Really regretting
taking out all those ads
499
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,362
that say
"Bar F, coming up soon."
500
00:22:40,462 --> 00:22:42,730
Why would I even
word it like that?
501
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,057
Ooh!
502
00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:14,359
He hates these cans.
36687
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