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It's The Muppet Show, with our special
guest star Mr. Avery Schreiber.
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
5
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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Hey, did you know that
George the Janitor is so cheap
10
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that his wallet has an unlisted pocket?
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Am I too hip for the room? Hey...
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♪ To introduce our guest star ♪
13
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♪ That's what it's time to do ♪
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♪ So it really makes me happy ♪
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♪ To introduce to you ♪
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Mr. Avery Schreiber!
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[MUPPETS CHEERING]
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♪ But now let's get things started ♪
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♪ On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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Okay, welcome, dear friends.
We have another goodie for you.
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Our guest is a young man and an old friend
25
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who's been making television and
night club audiences laugh for many years
26
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as part of the comedy team
of Burns and Schreiber.
27
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And right now, he's launching a new career
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as a movie performer and
a television star, Mr. Avery Schreiber!
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So we should have another biggie,
but right now, let's get things under way
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with our own
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem!
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Now ladies and gentlemen,
we'd like to do for you an old favorite.
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We like to think of our group
as being able to play more than hard rock.
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So here's an old favorite
for some of you moms and pops.
34
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It's called, and we'll play, "Tenderly."
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♪ The evening breeze caressed the trees
Tenderly ♪
36
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Yeah.
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♪ The trembling trees embraced the breeze
Tenderly ♪
38
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♪ Then you and I
Came wandering by ♪
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♪ And lost in a sigh were we ♪
40
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♪ The shore was kissed by sea and mist
Tenderly ♪
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♪ I can't forget how two hearts met
Breathlessly ♪
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♪ Your arms opened wide
And closed me inside ♪
43
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♪ You took my lips, you took my love
So tenderly ♪
44
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♪ You took my lips, you took my love
So tenderly ♪
45
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♪ So tenderly
So tenderly ♪
46
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♪ So tenderly ♪
47
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Oh, that's tender, man.
48
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I was just thinking, apropos of nothing,
49
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but is it pronounced tomayto or tomahto?
50
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Is what pronounced tomayto or tomahto?
51
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:43,598
Great number. Warm, sensitive.
My grandmother will love it.
52
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Scooter, Scooter.
Oh, dear nephew of the theater owner.
53
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Yes, Miss Piggy?
54
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:52,941
-Would you do Miss Piggy a favor?
-Oh, sure. Why not?
55
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,987
Well, you may have noticed,
I have given my love to Kermit.
56
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You may also have noticed
his reluctance in returning same.
57
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Oh, so you want me to get your love
from Kermit and give it back to you.
58
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Okay, where does he keep it?
59
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Amusing little twit, isn't he?
60
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No, bonehead!
I want you to make him jealous.
61
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Ah, I see.
62
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I want you to tell him that
Avery Schreiber is simply mad about me.
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Oh, you want me to lie.
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Just do it.
65
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And if I refuse?
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Hmm. Then I will karate chop you until
the only thing you'll be able to go for
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is down for the count!
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One jealous frog coming up.
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♪ Piggy and Kermit were sweethearts ♪
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Ladies and gentlemen,
this is a momentous occasion,
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as the mighty gladiator Sir Avery of Macho
is scheduled to meet and challenge
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the most fearsome, vicious beast
known in the world today,
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the Monster of the Moors.
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Matter of fact, here comes Sir Avery now.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Avery of Macho!
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Where is he?
Where is this cretinous creature?
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Come out! Where is he?
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Aah! Godfrey Daniels!
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Are you he, sir?
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Oh, no, no.
No, no, I am Kermit the Frog, sir.
80
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-Kermit the Frog?
-Yes, sir.
81
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Well, where is this monster?
I'll rip him to shreds.
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I'll tear off his arms and legs
and play pick-up-sticks.
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Where is he?
84
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[THUNDER CRASHES]
85
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Now, what does that mean?
Is it gonna rain or something?
86
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No. I think that means the monster's
about to make his appearance.
87
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Is that right?
88
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[THUNDER CRASHES]
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Aha! Who's gonna do what to me when, huh?
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Are you the Monster of the Moors?
91
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No, I'm Little Bo Peep. What's it to you?
92
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[GRUMBLES]
93
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He seems to have
an overactive pituitary gland.
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All right, monster.
This is Sir Avery of Macho!
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I'm here to challenge you!
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All right, I accept.
97
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How do you wanna fight,
with swords or clubs?
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Name your pleasure.
99
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Well, I choose, right?
100
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Mm-hm.
101
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The weapon I choose...
102
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is insults.
103
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Huh? Insults?
104
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That's right.
105
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[CHUCKLES]
106
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He's a lot bigger than my agent told me.
107
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You heard that, folks.
Sir Avery has chosen insults.
108
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And, indeed, he is known for
his razorlike wit, which he's gonna need,
109
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because he's against
one of the foulest mouths in the kingdom.
110
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-Ready?
-Give me your best shot, fat stuff.
111
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Fat stuff? You call me fat stuff?
112
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:14,267
Your mother wears open-toed combat boots!
113
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[LAUGHS]
114
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Sir Avery opened
with an old standard there.
115
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,939
Let's see how the monster answers.
116
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You call that an insult? Here's an insult.
117
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The last time I saw a head like yours
was in a lettuce patch!
118
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Look at that. Sir Avery has been hit!
Let's see how he answers now.
119
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Monster?
I've been talking to your best friends.
120
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And?
121
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You don't have any.
122
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,425
Look at that. Sir Avery is now choosing
the psychological attack.
123
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:51,054
As a matter of fact...
No, no, I won't tell you.
124
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No, please, I can take it.
125
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:57,310
-Nobody likes you.
-Ah! Oh!
126
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[GROANING]
127
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As a matter of fact,
your dog doesn't like you.
128
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,568
-In fact, I doubt if you even have a dog.
-I had a dog.
129
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,946
-What happened to him?
-I ate him.
130
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:11,324
-Why'd you eat him?
-Because he didn't like me.
131
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,078
I give up. You win.
132
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Look at that, folks.
It looks like it's all over now.
133
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,086
-Sir Avery?
-Yeah?
134
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,212
Only one thing.
135
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,090
-When you and Burns had a comedy team...
-Yeah?
136
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,259
...you were my favorite comedy team--
137
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,594
Well, second favorite, of all time.
138
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,597
What do you mean, second favorite?
Who was first?
139
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,725
Starsky and Hutch!
140
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:44,107
Oh, look at that.
Sir Avery is hit bad, and he's going down.
141
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,278
It looks like...
Friends, I think it will be a draw.
142
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Wait a minute, I demand a rematch!
143
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He didn't get me with his insult.
It was his breath!
144
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Ha!
145
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:05,879
Well, so I win a lot,
but it's a lonely life.
146
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:16,514
Funny man. He was great as a team.
I wonder what it feels like to work alone.
147
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,892
Ask me, I do it every week.
148
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[CHUCKLES]
149
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Welcome again to Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
150
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,152
And here it is, folks,
the product you've all been waiting for,
151
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:32,530
the new solid-state gorilla detector.
152
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:36,201
Yes, friends, how many times
have you awakened at night in the dark
153
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and said to yourself,
"Is there a gorilla in here?"
154
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,918
And how many people do you know
whose vacations were ruined
155
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,962
because they were eaten
by undetected gorillas?
156
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,923
Well, no more of that.
157
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,051
Whenever a gorilla comes
anywhere near this device,
158
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its lights will flash
and its bell will ring.
159
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,683
Think of the safety,
the sense of well-being.
160
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:05,313
At last, your family can be protected
from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion.
161
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,320
That creature is not a gorilla.
162
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:15,990
If he were a gorilla, the lights
would flash and the bell would ring.
163
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:19,619
Yes, Muppet technology is wonderful.
164
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:23,331
It tells us that we are not seeing
a gorilla smash a cabinet.
165
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:28,336
So I know scientifically
that I am not being eaten by a gorilla.
166
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,629
[YELLS]
167
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[BELL RINGING]
168
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,602
-Scooter! Scooter? Scooter...
-Yes, boss?
169
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:48,606
Uh, Scooter, would you go for Avery
and tell him to stand by?
170
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:51,860
Boss, there's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.
171
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,237
Well, so far,
that's what you've done, nothing.
172
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:59,034
I would climb the highest mountain,
I would swim the widest river,
173
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I'd walk across burning coals...
174
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,912
Please! Just go get Avery.
175
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,498
-That I can't do.
-What?
176
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,918
Sorry, boss, but he and Miss Piggy
are in his dressing room,
177
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,130
and he told me
he did not want to be disturbed.
178
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,631
Piggy and Avery? Are you nuts?
179
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,884
Why, he wouldn't touch her
with a ten-foot pole.
180
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,762
You're right.
He was touching her with his hands.
181
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:23,391
He was also whispering sweet nothings
into her ear. Nothings like...
182
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,019
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
183
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,981
Will you get out of here? Out!
184
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,026
Anybody wanna buy a gofer cheap?
185
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,655
Piggy and Avery? Yecch!
186
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,096
[BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
187
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,644
You know,
I had a bit part in a movie last week.
188
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:34,647
-A bit part?
-Yeah, I bit someone.
189
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,820
I'm very careful with my diet.
190
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:45,033
When I got on the scale this morning,
I weighed 104 pounds.
191
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,077
-Stripped?
-Of course not.
192
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,120
The drugstore was crowded.
193
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,169
Hey, hey, let's boogie.
194
00:13:56,294 --> 00:14:00,048
-Okay.
-Boogie, boogie, boogie.
195
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,383
[GIRL SCREAMS]
196
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:08,598
I notice nothing bothers you.
Are you into meditation?
197
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:11,601
No. Sedation.
198
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,229
Boogie, boogie, boogie!
199
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,563
[GIRL SCREAMS]
200
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:21,695
-They shouldn't allow his kind in here.
-You're right. He's a lousy dancer.
201
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,948
Boogie, boogie, boogie!
202
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,700
[ANIMAL YELLS]
203
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:28,827
Thank you.
204
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,330
[SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
205
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,833
ROWLF:
♪ This special time ♪
206
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,335
♪ This special place ♪
207
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,840
♪ Is brightened by your special face ♪
208
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,634
♪ I wish I may ♪
209
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,595
♪ I wish I might ♪
210
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:52,976
♪ Have the wish I wish for you tonight ♪
211
00:14:54,060 --> 00:15:00,400
♪ May you always walk in sunshine ♪
212
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:05,864
♪ Slumber warm when night winds blow ♪
213
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:11,411
♪ May you always live with laughter ♪
214
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:17,125
♪ For a smile becomes you so ♪
215
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:23,298
♪ May good fortune find your doorway ♪
216
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:28,136
♪ May the bluebird sing your song ♪
217
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:33,808
♪ May no trouble travel your way ♪
218
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:39,522
♪ May no worry stay too long ♪
219
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,401
♪ May your heartaches be forgotten ♪
220
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:47,655
-♪ May no tears be spilled
-Tears be spilled ♪
221
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:52,035
♪ May auld acquaintance be remembered ♪
222
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:57,165
♪ And your cup of kindness filled ♪
223
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:03,922
♪ May you always be a dreamer ♪
224
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:09,010
♪ May your wildest dreams come true ♪
225
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:16,559
♪ May you find someone to love ♪
226
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:23,733
♪ As much as I love you ♪
227
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:28,488
♪ Love you ♪
228
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,074
[HOWLING]
229
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,707
Hey, Avery, listen, welcome to the show.
Nice to see you again.
230
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:42,377
I'm glad to see you again, Kermit.
I really feel at home here.
231
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,212
Oh, hello, my love.
232
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:48,008
Uh, Miss Piggy, listen,
I was just trying to talk to Avery.
233
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:53,972
Oh, please, please, let me just stand here
and gaze upon that adorable face.
234
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:57,809
Well, there's no time for that, no matter
how adorable you think my face is.
235
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:01,479
Not your face, El Toado!
236
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,107
-His.
-His?
237
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,276
Ah, Miss Piggy.
238
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:12,782
Oh, you can call me by my real name,
which few men have called me.
239
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,869
-Pigathius.
-Pigathius?
240
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:21,249
Mm. It's from the Greek,
meaning "river of passion."
241
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,625
[CHUCKLES]
242
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,628
Miss Piggy. You can call me Avery.
243
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,964
It's from the Yiddish,
meaning "hold the mayo."
244
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:32,886
Well, you can both call me a cab because
I'm getting out of here, and so are you.
245
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,763
-What's the matter?
-What's the matter?
246
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:38,308
I know what's been going on,
but Miss Piggy is my girl.
247
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,019
You're just a guest on this show,
just passing through town.
248
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:44,272
She loves me, and she's gonna have
dinner with me tonight after the show.
249
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,524
Miss Piggy, you and me, alone!
250
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:50,653
-Oh, Avery...
-Just like I said. It worked, didn't it?
251
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,782
Yes. He really loves me.
Thank you so much.
252
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:58,161
How about a smacker right on
these porker lips? Hmm? Kissy, kissy.
253
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:03,166
Well, I... Don't take it personally.
No, I can't kiss you.
254
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,795
I mean no offense,
but my family never even touched a pig,
255
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,672
much less put their lips to one.
256
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,676
Well, put your lips to this!
257
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,302
Hi-yah!
258
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:24,562
And now, the finest singing team
since Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy.
259
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,564
They are awe-inspiring.
260
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:30,985
In fact, when I hear them sing,
I go, "Aw."
261
00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,697
Here they are, Wayne and Wanda.
262
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,864
Get it right.
263
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,200
[BAND PLAYING SLOW BALLAD]
264
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:43,206
♪ Some enchanted evening ♪
265
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:47,877
♪ You may meet a stranger ♪
266
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,464
♪ You may meet a stranger... ♪
267
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,471
He said "meet," not "eat."
268
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,182
Oh, sorry.
269
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,231
NARRATOR:
And now, Veterinarian's Hospital,
270
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:14,070
the continuing story of an
orthopedic surgeon who's gone to the dogs.
271
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:23,496
Nope, I can't.
I just cannot perform this operation.
272
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,875
-But why not, Dr. Bob?
-Well, frankly, I'm chicken.
273
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,210
No, that is a chicken.
274
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,628
[CLUCKS]
275
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:31,838
You're right.
276
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:35,508
Besides, this should be
right up your alley.
277
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,677
That's true, I am a bird dog.
278
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:38,887
[RIMSHOT]
279
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,180
Are you, really?
280
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:43,141
Sure. Every year,
I fly south for the winter.
281
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,768
[RIMSHOT]
282
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,437
Don't your arms get tired?
283
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,147
[RIMSHOT]
284
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:52,400
-There now will be a moment of silence.
-Why?
285
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,028
For that joke that just died
in the operating room.
286
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,282
Seriously, doctor,
what about your patient?
287
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,535
Well, we have a choice.
We can do a chicken appendectomy,
288
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:06,664
a chicken tonsillectomy,
or a chicken curry fricassee.
289
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,917
[CLUCKING]
290
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,545
-We gotta do something about this turkey.
-It's a chicken.
291
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:15,548
I'm a chicken. The sketch is a turkey.
292
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:20,720
NARRATOR:
So Dr. Bob has run afoul of a fowl.
293
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:24,557
Tune in next week,
when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say:
294
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:29,104
-Many of Dr. Bob's patients are chickens.
-Why is that?
295
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,314
Because he's for the birds.
296
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,947
Okay, let's move it.
Don't bask in the glory.
297
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,950
Ten years from now, they'll have forgotten
even the best of you.
298
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,952
Knute Rockne, 1932.
299
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,871
Ah, Kermit, my love, my life.
300
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,874
I am sorry if Avery made you jealous.
301
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:53,962
-Fozzie Bear, stand by.
-Fozzie Bear, stand by.
302
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:57,382
-You are jealous, aren't you?
-Fozzie, stand by.
303
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,718
-Uh, no, I'm not.
-But why?
304
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:03,430
-Fozzie, stand by.
-Scooter told me it was all a trick.
305
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,100
Scooter, stand by!
306
00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,601
Hi-yah!
307
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,980
Nice. Nice punt.
308
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,983
Who needs you?
309
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:17,569
Flipper face!
310
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:22,615
Okay, once again,
it's time for the king of the one-liners,
311
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:26,745
the sharp retort and the funny ears,
Mr. Fozzie Bear!
312
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,375
Hey, hey, hey, I'm a bear, not a bunny,
313
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,794
so here's some stuff that's really funny.
314
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:37,630
-Hey, hey, hey, I'm not a dope.
-And I'm no dummy.
315
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:40,133
-So how come your stuff...
-...is really crummy?
316
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:44,804
Come on, guys, I come out here
to give you a good time.
317
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:47,766
-If you wanna give us a good time...
-Go back in.
318
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,393
-Give me a break.
-Hey, listen.
319
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,645
Why don't you guys leave Fozzie alone?
320
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,647
Yeah. Thanks, Avery. Thanks a lot.
321
00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:57,692
I know what it's like to be out here
every night getting heckled.
322
00:21:57,776 --> 00:22:00,528
-Yeah, by the audience, huh?
-No, by my partner.
323
00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:02,781
I love him like a brother,
324
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:06,284
but he was always concerned that the act
be dignified, you know what I mean?
325
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:09,704
-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dignified.
-Huh? Huh? Huh? Yeah.
326
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:12,082
I asked him to do
the banana-in-the-ear shtick.
327
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,792
-Yeah?
-He wouldn't do it.
328
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:16,419
Oh, come on, that's funny shtick.
That's a funny bit.
329
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:21,049
-That's right. He said it would look dumb.
-Oh, that-- Aw, the banana's funny.
330
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:23,218
-Would you do it?
-Of course I'd do it.
331
00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:25,679
-Try.
-Oh, terrific, a banana!
332
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:27,681
Here we go, in the ear!
333
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,307
[DRUM ROLL]
334
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:35,313
He's right. It does look dumb.
See you, Fozzie.
335
00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:37,315
Avery!
336
00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:40,944
I was just kidding. I wouldn't leave you
out here with a banana in the ear.
337
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:43,863
To show you what a good sport I am,
I'll put the banana in my ear.
338
00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:45,198
Nobody laughed.
339
00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:47,283
[DRUM ROLL]
340
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:49,911
[LAUGHING]
341
00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:55,333
-Oh, look at that!
-Wait a minute. Hold it, hold it!
342
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:57,502
Why is it that when I did it,
you didn't laugh,
343
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,713
but when Avery does it, you go crazy?
344
00:22:59,838 --> 00:23:01,715
-Oh, it's his pace.
-His timing.
345
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:03,425
-His delivery.
-His ear.
346
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:09,347
You see, Jack? I told you it would work.
This is the greatest night of my life.
347
00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:11,725
[STATLER & WALDORF
LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
348
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:24,362
Here's a Muppet news flash.
There is no news tonight.
349
00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:29,826
[SCATTING]
350
00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:54,184
Can you do that?
351
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:55,894
[ALL SCATTING IN RHYTHM]
352
00:24:39,437 --> 00:24:41,064
♪ Everybody now ♪
353
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:42,941
[SCATTING CONTINUES]
354
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:10,593
Well, that's it for tonight. We'd like
to thank our very special guest star,
355
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,095
Mr. Avery Schreiber.
356
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:14,514
Thank you, Kermit. Thank you.
357
00:25:14,597 --> 00:25:17,225
Listen, it was a ball.
I hope I didn't get you upset.
358
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:19,352
Boy, Miss Piggy has a bad temper,
doesn't she?
359
00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,730
Ah, listen, don't worry.
I can handle Miss Piggy.
360
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:25,984
She's just putty in my hands.
I say, "Jump," she says, "How high?"
361
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:28,153
I crack the whip,
she jumps through the hoop.
362
00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:32,657
You open your mouth, my fist goes south.
Hi-yah!
363
00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:35,493
I love to see a man in control, Kermit.
364
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,912
We'll see you all next time
on The Muppet Show.
365
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:39,122
Hi-yah!
366
00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:44,377
Hi-yah!
367
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:46,755
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
368
00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:19,079
-You gotta give them credit.
-Why's that?
369
00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:22,290
They're gonna keep on doing it
till they get it right.
29202
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