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It's The Muppet Show, with our
special guest star, Miss Sandy Duncan!
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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Hey, we were so poor, I was born at home.
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After my mother saw me,
she went to the hospital.
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♪ To introduce our guest star ♪
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♪ That's what I'm here to do ♪
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♪ So it really makes me happy ♪
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♪ To introduce to you ♪
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Miss Sandy Duncan!
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♪ But now let's get things started ♪
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♪ On the most sensational, inspirational
CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[GONG SOUNDS]
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Thank you, thank you.
Hi-ho, I'm in a great mood tonight.
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That's because our special guest star
is a good friend and a lovely lady,
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Miss Sandy Duncan.
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And so that means our show tonight
should be a real bang-up affair--
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-Did somebody say "bang"?
-Uh, no.
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[DYNAMITE EXPLODES]
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[GASPING]
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Wow.
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I've always wondered what the show
looked like from here.
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Let's start off the show
with a musical number
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staged by our own gofer, Scooter.
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-It could be a bomb--
-Did somebody say "bomb"?
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-Oh!
-Oh, no!
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[BOMB EXPLODES]
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[COUGHING]
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Wow. Heh.
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Somebody's gotta introduce our guest,
38
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so it might as well be Fozzie.
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Okay. Here she is, a star who does it all.
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She sings, she dances, she acts,
and she makes you feel good all over,
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Miss Sandy Duncan!
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[BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]
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♪ Lost in a crowd ♪
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♪ Alone ♪
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♪ And drinking my third ♪
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[HICCUPS]
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♪ Hungry for company ♪
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♪ Can't think of the words ♪
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♪ Watching the boys
My heart in my hand ♪
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-♪ What a misplaced pitiful sight ♪
-♪ Pitiful sight ♪
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♪ Just a stiff upper lip
Who'll be knowing tomorrow ♪
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♪ What she should have been
Saying tonight ♪
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♪ Won't you tell me ♪
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-♪ What's a nice girl like me ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Nice girl like you ♪
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♪ Doing in a place
That never closes? ♪
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♪ Well, I can hardly hear you
Holy Moses ♪
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-♪ Looking so sad ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Looking so sad, so sad ♪
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♪ Won't you tell me ♪
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-♪ What's a nice girl like me ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Nice girl like you ♪
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♪ Doing by the dance floor
After hours ♪
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♪ Dozing over rows
Of whiskey sours ♪
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-♪ Feeling so bad? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Feeling so bad, so bad ♪
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♪ I'm feeling so bad for me ♪
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CHORUS:
♪ What you doing here, girl? ♪
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♪ What you doing here, girl? ♪
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♪ Won't you tell me ♪
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-♪ What's a nice girl like me ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Nice girl like you ♪
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♪ Doing in a place
That never closes? ♪
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♪ I can hardly hear you
Holy Moses ♪
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-♪ Looking so sad ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Looking so sad, so sad ♪
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♪ Won't you tell me ♪
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-♪ What's a nice girl like me ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Nice girl like you ♪
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♪ Doing by the dance floor
After hours ♪
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♪ Dozing over rows
Of whiskey sours ♪
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-♪ Feeling so bad? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Feeling so bad, so bad ♪
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♪ I'm feeling so bad for me ♪
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CHORUS:
♪ What you doing here, girl? ♪
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♪ What you doing here, girl? ♪
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-Bravo! Bravo!
-Wonderful.
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-Fantastic.
-Tremendous.
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You know,
she makes me feel like a young boy, heh.
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She makes me feel like a young girl.
I think I'll go find one.
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[LAUGHS]
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Oh, where is that handsome frog?
Oh, there you are, old frog friend.
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-What?
-Would you lend me a fiver till payday?
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-Fozzie, you already owe me 5.
-Oh, please.
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I know it, but I gotta pay my writer,
the legendary Gags Beazley.
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The legendary Gags comes pretty cheap.
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Well, uh, we worked out a good deal.
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-You pay him by the line?
-No, I pay him by the laugh.
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Oh. Then he owes you money.
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Oh, that was cute.
That was real cute, frog!
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[BAND PLAYING FOLK MUSIC]
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[SINGING GIBBERISH]
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♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
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The spoons.
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English word, here the moo-fin.
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See the moo-fin?
For the hooI, the boomer shooting.
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That's make der hooI, we throw der hoop.
Here we throw hoop.
100
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Mm-hm. That's very good.
This were the hooI. Hoop!
101
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That's weird. We throw der hoop.
102
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This were the hoop. Donut.
103
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Okay. It's time
for our own king of comedy.
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You've no doubt heard the expression
"The next act needs no introduction."
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Yeah, you're right.
He doesn't need an introduction.
106
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He needs an act.
107
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In your opinion, but Fozzie Bear
gets over 200 letters a week.
108
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Mm-hm, but if he paid his bills,
he wouldn't get any.
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I'll let Fozzie handle you guys.
Here he is now.
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One of your favorites
and I'm sure one of his, Mr. Fozzie Bear!
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Hey, thank you, thank you,
thank you and thank you.
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Hey, love you.
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Oh, look out,
I've got some great ones for you.
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Hey, my wife loves children,
but I can't bear them.
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Huh? Huh?
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Hey, we got three kids, one of each.
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[LAUGHS]
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Oh, I'm rolling now.
I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll!
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Why don't you butter yourself
and slip out of here?
120
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Speaking of slipping, are you guys
familiar with the banana sketch?
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-Oh, nice segue.
-Smooth.
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-Good blend. Mm.
-Mm.
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Hey, hey. These two bananas
are walking down the street,
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-and one banana says...
-Ha, ha.
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Listen to Fozzie.
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Oh! He has them eating
right out from his hand.
127
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He's got a new writer, Gags Beazley.
128
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Not the legendary Gags Beazley?
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-You mean you've heard of him?
-Well, who hasn't?
130
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-Me, for one.
-Oh.
131
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But Gags Beazley, he is to comedy
what Mozart was to music.
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He wrote the famous banana sketch.
133
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The banana sketch.
What's the banana sketch?
134
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,862
You never heard of the banana sketch?
But it's the funniest...
135
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[GIGGLING AND SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
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What's...?
137
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
138
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Ah, ah. Oh, hear that?
139
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-Great.
-Oh, boy, I killed them.
140
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I closed with the banana sketch.
141
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-Whew.
-Fozzie, what is the banana sketch?
142
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You never heard of the banana sketch?
143
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Yeesh.
144
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Hey, guys. Hey, Kermit never heard
of the banana sketch!
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-What's...?
FOZZIE: Ha, ha!
146
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I think somebody's pulling my leg.
147
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Somebody is pulling my leg.
It's the Great Gonzo.
148
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Ah. You never heard of the banana sketch?
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[LAUGHING]
150
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Will you cut that out?
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Yeesh.
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[TANGO MUSIC PLAYING]
153
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You know, when I was in London,
I saw them changing the guards.
154
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Why? Were they dirty?
155
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:15,263
-Where'd you say you were born?
-In Paris.
156
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,516
-Oh, how'd you do that?
-Mm, the usual way.
157
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,566
My cousin lives in the desert,
and, boy, can he run fast.
158
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-Because the sand is so hot?
-No, because the trees are so far apart.
159
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:37,660
-Do you remember where we first met?
-Yeah. At the hop.
160
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:45,335
-Ah, you know, I'm falling for you.
-What can I do?
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Get out of the way!
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[YELLS]
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[GRUNTS THEN YELLS]
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-Wanna join me?
-Yeah.
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[BOTH YELL]
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Backwards.
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[BOTH YELL]
168
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Excuse me. Sideways.
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[BOTH YELL]
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00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:04,646
-Oh. Ah.
-Oh. That was fun. It was fun.
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[SWEETUMS SOBBING]
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[NOSE HONKS]
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Excuse me. Pardon me.
174
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-Huh? You talking to me?
-Yes.
175
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,633
I couldn't help noticing
that you're crying.
176
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Of course I'm crying. I feel sad.
177
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:40,849
I mean, wouldn't you feel sad
if you looked like me?
178
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I don't think there's anything the matter
with the way you look.
179
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,981
-Oh, you're just saying that to be nice.
-No.
180
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:53,236
No, I mean, I'm a big, huge, hairy lump,
and I scare people.
181
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:57,032
Every time I walk in this park,
people yell, "Police!"
182
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They cry, "Monster!"
183
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Mothers grab their children,
and little dogs run away,
184
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,539
and flowers wilt.
185
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,625
Come on.
I think you're exaggerating a bit.
186
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,753
Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.
187
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,130
Hello, flower.
188
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,926
-See?
-Yeah, gee.
189
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,179
And then see this dog over here?
190
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,430
Uh-huh.
191
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,015
Hello, doggy.
192
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,142
[SNARLING]
193
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,317
But I'm not running away,
I'm not calling the police,
194
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,070
and I don't think you're a big lump.
So there.
195
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,947
Well, it's true. You're not.
196
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:42,327
A beautiful lady like you takes the time
to sit down and talk to me?
197
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:48,667
Yeah, I just don't like seeing people cry.
There's too much sadness in the world.
198
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:52,921
If people just took a little time
to look past the physical,
199
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,548
they might find a lot
of beautiful things about you.
200
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,801
Oh, heh, heh. Oh.
201
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:02,681
I feel so good, so loved, so beautiful!
202
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:06,559
You see?
If we feel beautiful, we are beautiful.
203
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,312
Oh, I feel beautiful!
204
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,940
-See?
-Oh, heh, heh. Oh.
205
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,692
Hello, flower.
206
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,611
[SWEETUMS CHUCKLES]
207
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:19,531
Oh. Hello, doggy.
208
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,369
[SWEETUMS CHUCKLES]
209
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,080
I feel beautiful!
210
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,832
[SWEETUMS HUMMING]
211
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,458
Hello, fountain.
212
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,712
-Oh, thank you, beautiful lady.
-You're welcome.
213
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,088
[SWEETUMS HUMMING]
214
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,674
Hello, pavement. Hello, grass.
215
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,596
Oh, my.
216
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,182
You mustn't look so sad.
217
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:53,732
Oh. I know that you may appear to be,
on the outside, ugly.
218
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,608
But inside,
219
00:12:55,734 --> 00:13:00,321
I'll bet that you are as beautiful
as a morning sunrise.
220
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,247
On the other hand...
221
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,757
[PLAYING HONKY-TONK MUSIC]
222
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:23,636
♪ When life seems full
Of clouds and rain ♪
223
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,931
♪ And I am filled
With naught but pain ♪
224
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:30,685
♪ Who soothes
My thumping, bumping brain? ♪
225
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,145
♪ Nobody ♪
226
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,399
♪ When winter comes
With snow and sleet ♪
227
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,652
♪ And me with hunger
And cold feet ♪
228
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,781
♪ Who says
"Here's two bits, go and eat"? ♪
229
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,657
♪ Nobody ♪
230
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:52,916
♪ I ain't never done nothing to nobody ♪
231
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:59,923
♪ I ain't never got nothing from nobody
No time ♪
232
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:06,680
♪ And until I get something from somebody
Sometime ♪
233
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:12,310
♪ I don't intend to do nothing
For nobody ♪
234
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,437
♪ No time ♪
235
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,944
♪ When I try hard
And scheme and plan ♪
236
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:24,114
♪ To look as good
As e'er I can ♪
237
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:27,325
♪ Who says
"Look at that handsome man"? ♪
238
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,451
Who does?
239
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,661
♪ Nobody ♪
240
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:34,249
♪ When all day long
Things go amiss ♪
241
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:37,377
♪ And I go home
To find some bliss ♪
242
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,381
♪ Who hands to me
A glowing kiss? ♪
243
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,550
-Nobody.
-Right.
244
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:50,849
-♪ I ain't never done nothing to nobody ♪
-♪ Ah-woo! ♪
245
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:56,104
-♪ I ain't never got nothing from nobody ♪
-♪ Ah-woo! ♪
246
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,480
♪ No time ♪
247
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:03,987
♪ And until I get something from somebody
Sometime ♪
248
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:10,118
♪ I don't intend to do nothing
For nobody ♪
249
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:14,247
BOTH:
♪ No time ♪
250
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,552
-Hi, everybody.
-Hi there.
251
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,095
[ROARS]
252
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,766
Oh, dear, I should have warned him.
253
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,020
♪ Never smile at a crocodile ♪
254
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:40,774
♪ No, you can't get friendly
With a crocodile ♪
255
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:44,652
♪ Don't be taken in
By his welcome grin ♪
256
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:48,156
♪ He's imagining how well you'd fit
Within his skin ♪
257
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,407
[ROARS]
258
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:56,206
♪ Never smile at a crocodile ♪
259
00:15:56,289 --> 00:16:00,168
♪ Never tip your hat
And stop to talk a while ♪
260
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,961
♪ Never run, walk away ♪
261
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:04,047
♪ Say "good night," not "good day" ♪
262
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,592
ALL: ♪ Clear the aisle and never smile
At Mr. Crocodile ♪
263
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:08,677
Yeah.
264
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:12,305
♪ You may very well be well-bred ♪
265
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:16,184
♪ Lots of etiquette in your head ♪
266
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,563
♪ But there's always
Some special case, time or place ♪
267
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,565
♪ To forget etiquette ♪
268
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:23,733
For instance...
269
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:27,445
FROGS:
♪ Never smile at a crocodile ♪
270
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:31,324
♪ No, you can't get friendly
With a crocodile ♪
271
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:35,203
♪ Don't be taken in
By my welcome grin ♪
272
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:39,582
♪ I'm imagining how well you'd fit
Within my skin ♪
273
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:42,877
FROGS:
♪ Never smile at a crocodile ♪
274
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:46,756
♪ Never tip your hat
And stop to talk a while ♪
275
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,633
♪ Never run, walk away ♪
276
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:51,094
♪ Say "good night," not "good day" ♪
277
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,639
-Good night!
-Good night!
278
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:59,227
ALL: ♪ Clear the aisle and never smile
At Mr. Crocodile ♪
279
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,814
Maybe I could meet you guys
tomorrow for lunch?
280
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,531
It's nice for the two of us
to have a moment to talk.
281
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,743
-I'd enjoy it, yeah.
-Hey, Sandy. Hey, Kermit.
282
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,494
-Yeah, hi, Fozzie.
-Hi.
283
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,122
Hi. Oh, boy, do I have good news.
284
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,666
-You can't stay long?
-No.
285
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,169
No, I got plenty of time.
286
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,504
That's bad news. What's the good news?
287
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:33,386
Oh. Okay, frog, see, the good news is
that I have a great idea for a sketch...
288
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,305
-Oh.
-...for both of us to play.
289
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:39,309
-You wanna do a sketch with me?
-No, not you. With Sandy.
290
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,518
-With me? Oh!
-Yeah.
291
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,562
-That sounds great.
-Yeah.
292
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:43,772
Who wrote your sketch?
293
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,023
Oh. My writer,
294
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,651
the legendary Gags Beazley.
295
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,154
Oh, come on, Fozzie.
296
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,406
-"Come on"?
-Gags Beazley is your writer?
297
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,325
-You know him?
-Well, I...
298
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,451
[SANDY SPUTTERS]
299
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,953
Of course I know him. Gags Beazley.
300
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,289
-He wrote the famous banana sketch.
-Right!
301
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,665
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
302
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:03,917
-Not you too, Sandy.
-Huh?
303
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,753
Tell me, what is this banana sketch?
304
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,048
You never heard of it? Come on.
305
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:13,802
-Everybody's heard of the banana sketch.
-I told you.
306
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,556
-You know something?
-What?
307
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,934
Gags Beazley,
I can't believe he's your writer.
308
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:24,688
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I am impressed, Fozzie. Really impressed.
309
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,690
-Hm-hm.
-Yeah.
310
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:30,068
-It's a real classic, this banana sketch?
-Oh. Yeah.
311
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,070
-It was written by Gags Beazley?
-Yeah.
312
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:35,240
-How does it go there, Sandy?
-I mean, "Gags," "banana."
313
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,201
-The words synonymous, right?
-Right.
314
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,705
You can say that again.
I gag every time I hear about this sketch.
315
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,125
Fozzie, I could just be thinking
about the banana sketch,
316
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,086
-and I start to crack up.
-Oh... Me too.
317
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:51,214
-Do you? Does it make you laugh?
-Oh, stop.
318
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,883
-Listen, hey, Fozzie.
-What? What? What?
319
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,720
Do you use a green banana or a yellow one?
320
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,764
-Oh, yellow, yellow.
-Aah! Ha-ha-ha.
321
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,600
A yellow one. I love it.
322
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,647
Hey, wait. Hold on.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
323
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:10,608
Hold! Hold! Hold!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
324
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,236
-Sorry.
-Sandy, Sandy, please, please.
325
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:16,531
Pretty please, Sandy,
with sugar on it, please.
326
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,408
-What?
-What is the banana sketch?
327
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,410
Ah. Tell him. Go ahead, tell him.
328
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,620
-You wanna tell him?
-Tell him.
329
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,039
-Okay, I'm gonna try.
-Yeah?
330
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:28,376
Okay. Well, all right, all right.
Like, these two...
331
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,380
-These two bananas...
-Ha-ha-ha!
332
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,009
...are walking down the street...
333
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,890
-I can't stand it!
-It hurts to laugh.
334
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:48,646
Tell me the truth, Statler.
Do you get the banana sketch?
335
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:52,150
No, I get the New York Times
and the Manchester Guardian.
336
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,528
Sorry I asked.
337
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,156
NEWSCASTER:
Here's a Muppet news flash.
338
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,575
Dateline, Dallas, Texas.
339
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,660
Mrs. Billie Lee Bonkers of that city
340
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,913
recently entered
the Guinness Book of Records
341
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,832
by establishing
the world jumping-in-place record.
342
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,460
Mrs. Bonkers began jumping in place
three months ago
343
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,797
and so far has jumped 652,000 times.
344
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,591
-...652,001...
-Mrs. Bonkers.
345
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,927
...652,002...
346
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:22,722
Mrs. Bonkers, do you need
any special incentive to keep you going?
347
00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:26,226
Oh, my, no.
I have all the incentive that I need.
348
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,936
Ah? How's that?
349
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:30,105
I am standing on a hot plate.
350
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:31,481
[YELPING]
351
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,567
Six hundred fifty-two thousand
and three...
352
00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:37,404
Truly a courageous and inspiring story.
353
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,198
Where do we get these nuts?
354
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,744
Okay, stand by
for Veterinarian's Hospital.
355
00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,579
Veterinarian's Hospital.
356
00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:49,082
Oh, frog of my life,
357
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:53,336
please tell me what they're saying
about you is not true.
358
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,504
What's that, Piggy?
359
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:59,759
That you, you host of a television show,
veteran of the boards,
360
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:04,556
you have never heard of the banana sketch?
361
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,519
"Uh, Piggy," said the frog,
trying to refrain from losing his cool
362
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,605
and looking like a bad sport,
"there is no banana sketch!
363
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:16,276
There never was a banana sketch
and there never will be a banana sketch!"
364
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,402
[KERMIT PANTING]
365
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,571
Touchy, touchy.
366
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,118
Hey, which way to my dressing room?
367
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,829
And don't try to shove me
into the refrigerator.
368
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,498
[SCREAMS THEN GROANS]
369
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,879
NARRATOR:
And now Veterinarian's Hospital,
370
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:40,383
the continuing story
of a former orthopedic surgeon
371
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,385
who's gone to the dogs.
372
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:45,138
[NOSE HONKS]
373
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:52,270
Well, what do you think, Dr. Bob?
This is your first transplant.
374
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,898
Well, there's always a second chance.
375
00:21:55,273 --> 00:22:00,236
-But what if he doesn't make it, Dr. Bob?
-I don't mean him, I mean me.
376
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,155
Let me check into something.
377
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:05,784
Ah. Ah, the old ticker still sounds great.
378
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:08,411
Oh, you mean his new heart is fine?
379
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,915
No, I mean my new watch.
I dropped it in when I was sewing him up.
380
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:17,337
NARRATOR: So Dr. Bob dropped his watch
in the patient's chest.
381
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:20,799
Tune in next week,
when we'll hear Dr. Bob say:
382
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:22,425
Let's look on the bright side.
383
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:25,762
At least if he doesn't make it,
we'll know the exact time he went.
384
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:34,396
That's wonderful, wonderful,
right, Statler?
385
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:36,439
Good grief, did he jump?
386
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,694
[BAND PLAYING TRANQUIL MUSIC]
387
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:49,703
♪ Try to remember ♪
388
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:52,831
♪ The kind of September ♪
389
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:56,960
♪ When life was slow ♪
390
00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:00,630
♪ And, oh, so mellow ♪
391
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:04,092
♪ Try to remember ♪
392
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,512
♪ The kind of September ♪
393
00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:11,725
♪ When grass was green ♪
394
00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:14,978
♪ And grain was yellow ♪
395
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:18,231
♪ Try to remember ♪
396
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:23,111
♪ The kind of September ♪
397
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:30,243
♪ When you were a tender
And callow fellow ♪
398
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:34,039
♪ Try to remember ♪
399
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:37,417
♪ And if you remember ♪
400
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,003
♪ Then follow ♪
401
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,880
♪ Follow ♪
402
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,383
♪ Follow ♪
403
00:23:49,512 --> 00:23:53,224
♪ Try to remember ♪
404
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:56,478
♪ When life was so tender ♪
405
00:23:57,354 --> 00:24:00,273
♪ That no one wept ♪
406
00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:04,652
♪ Except the willow ♪
407
00:24:04,736 --> 00:24:07,405
-♪ Try to remember ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Bum, bum-bum, bum ♪
408
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:11,242
-♪ When life was so tender ♪
-♪ Bum, bum-bum, bum ♪
409
00:24:12,035 --> 00:24:14,954
-♪ That dreams were kept ♪
-♪ Bum, bum-bum, bum ♪
410
00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:18,917
-♪ Beside your pillow ♪
-♪ Bum, bum-bum, bum ♪
411
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,671
ALL:
♪ Try to remember ♪
412
00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:26,174
♪ When life was so tender ♪
413
00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:29,552
♪ That love was an ember ♪
414
00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:33,848
♪ About to billow ♪
415
00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:37,560
CHORUS: ♪ Hmm-mm-mm ♪
-♪ Try to remember ♪
416
00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:40,730
♪ And if you remember ♪
417
00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:43,566
ALL:
♪ Then follow ♪
418
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:46,820
♪ Follow ♪
419
00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:53,159
♪ Follow ♪
420
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,960
Once again, it's time
to fold up our tents, but before we go,
421
00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:06,089
we'd like to give a special thanks
to our guest star, Miss Sandy Duncan!
422
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:09,050
Thank you. Thank you.
423
00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:10,760
Kermit.
424
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:13,263
-I want you to know I had a good time.
-Me too.
425
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:16,349
You know how some shows
give their guest star a dozen roses
426
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:17,600
at the end of the show?
427
00:25:17,726 --> 00:25:20,729
-You shouldn't have.
-I didn't. Hey, banana boy!
428
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:27,360
Sandy, it was the frog's idea,
not mine, not mine.
429
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,987
It's all right, I love it.
430
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:30,780
-I love all of you.
-Yeah?
431
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:33,742
I hope that's the last I ever hear
of the banana sketch.
432
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:36,119
We'll see you all next time
on The Muppet Show.
433
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,245
Thank you.
434
00:25:37,328 --> 00:25:39,372
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
435
00:26:16,785 --> 00:26:18,787
Hmm. Well, how'd you like the show?
436
00:26:18,870 --> 00:26:21,039
Eh, maybe I'm getting soft,
but I loved it.
437
00:26:21,164 --> 00:26:22,499
Have a banana.
33587
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