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It's The Muppet Show, with our
special guest star, Mr. Peter Ustinov.
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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Hey, the little problems
in life drive me crazy.
10
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Like, what do you send to a sick florist?
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Huh? Huh?
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♪ To introduce our guest star ♪
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♪ That's what I'm here to do ♪
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♪ So it really makes me happy ♪
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♪ To introduce to you ♪
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Mr. Peter Ustinov!
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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♪ But now let's get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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Thank you, thank you.
And hello, dear friends.
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And welcome to this potpourri of mirth
and madness we call The Muppet Show.
25
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Hey, we're especially excited
around here tonight
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because our guest star
is Mr. Peter Ustinov.
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He is a man for all seasons.
An actor, a director, a writer.
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Plus being a great raconteur.
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Uh, that's French for "tennis player."
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I think.
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Anyway, we're also fortunate
in having with us
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an offshoot of the world famous
Boston Pops Orchestra--
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Just the wind section.
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--but I think it's gonna be a thrill
for us all,
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so let's open the show
with an evening at the Pops.
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[INSTRUMENTS TUNING]
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[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
38
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Huh. They say, "Music hath charm
to soothe a savage beast."
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Mm.
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[ROARING]
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Such is not the case here, however.
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Get him. Get him.
43
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Okay, okay. Good bit. Good bit.
44
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Good ending. Sorry about the head.
45
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Oh, Kermit.
46
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Oh, my heart.
It's going pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
47
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Yeah, well, maybe you've
had too much coffee.
48
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No.
49
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It's going pitter-patter over the man
I've admired and loved for years.
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-And now, to be this close to him...
-Uh, Piggy, I've told you,
51
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I don't have any time in my life
for any emotional involvement right now.
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No, I'm talking about Peter Ustinov.
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Oh, well... Ahem. Oh.
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He is a Renaissance man.
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Oh. Well, I am a leg man.
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Oops. It's time now to introduce
your new heartthrob.
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-Mm-hm.
-Yeah.
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Jealousy, thy name is frog!
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[CHUCKLES]
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Okay, right now, friends,
I'd like you to meet our guest star,
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the one and only Mr. Peter Ustinov.
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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Well, Kermit, you know, it's a pleasure
for me to be with you tonight.
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It's my first experience
in performing with, uh,
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performers other than people,
if you follow me.
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Oh. Oh, yeah, well, it takes
some getting used to, I guess.
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But, uh, we've worked with humans before
so just relax, take it easy,
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and don't sit on any
of your fellow performers.
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I'll try not to, but I was going to sit
down on my dressing-room chair,
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and it walked away.
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Oh, well, that was a Muppet.
72
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See, that chair
is married to the show's writer.
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-Who's the writer?
-The hat rack.
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-This show was written by a hat rack?
-Mm-hm.
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Ha, ha! Oh, well, uh...
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-That's most extraordinary.
-Well, you see, anything can be a Muppet.
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In fact, in this next sketch,
you are going to be a Muppet.
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-I'm going to be a Muppet?
-Mm-hm.
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Trust me. Just stand by for a big
showbiz-style introduction, okay?
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Oh, delightful.
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-A hat rack. Ha-ha-ha.
-Mm-hm.
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Incredible.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
you are about to witness
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one of the wonders of modern science
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as envisioned by the incredible
Mr. Peter Ustinov.
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We take you now to Muppet Labs.
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Hello, I'm Dr. Bunsen Honeydew,
and here at Muppet Labs
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we think we have finally made
a major scientific breakthrough
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in the field
of international statesmanship.
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So, it is with incalculable pride
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that I give you the new robot politician.
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Yes, this electronic politician
will end corruption in government forever.
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And, furthermore,
it is absolutely international.
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For instance, the robot politician would
make an excellent British prime minister.
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-Watch.
-[DEVICE SQUEALS]
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Although the skies are dark
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and the road ahead is steep,
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yet with perseverance,
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we can, nay,
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we shall prevail.
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Prevail.
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-Prevail...
-Uh... Thank you.
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And on the other hand, with equal ease,
he could be an American president.
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[DEVICE SQUEALS]
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[IN AMERICAN ACCENT]
And I tell you, my friends,
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this is the greatest country in the world.
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Stands ready to forge ahead,
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bring peace to the world,
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affluence to all nations. Ha-ha-ha.
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Yes, well, ahem, enough of that.
111
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Uh, how about a Russian premier?
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[DEVICE SQUEALS]
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[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] The Russian people
will not rub the SALT agreement
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into the wounds.
115
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Well, that's good.
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[HUMMING]
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Uh...
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[DEVICE FIZZLES THEN BEEPS]
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Come on.
120
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[IN CHINESE ACCENT]
The People's Republic of China
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objects to the running-dog tone
of this most...
122
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[IN ARABIC ACCENT] The Middle East
bloc must stand firm in the belief...
123
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[SPEAKING MULTIPLE LANGUAGES]
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[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] This means war!
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[SIGHS]
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Well, back to the drawing board.
127
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Mr. Ustinov?
128
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-A masterful performance.
-Mm.
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Reminiscent of the late Rudolph Besser.
130
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,057
Rudolph Besser is dead?
131
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,851
No, he's late.
He was supposed to be here at...
132
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,938
Statler, you always get me
with that same dumb joke.
133
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Well, maybe it's not the joke that's dumb,
if you catch my drift. Ha-ha-ha!
134
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,779
[SIGHS]
135
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,990
Oh, where is he?
Where is that tower of talent?
136
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-Fozzie, are you looking for me?
-No, I'm looking for Peter Ustinov.
137
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,747
Oh. Well, after that last sketch
he ended up in the dressing room,
138
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-where he's going over his lines.
-Oh.
139
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,753
-The actor prepares.
-Yep.
140
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Oh. Oh, I tell you, Kermit,
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appearing in a sketch with Peter Ustinov
is the highlight of my career.
142
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Uh, I thought you said last week
that appearing with me in a sketch
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was the highlight of your career.
144
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I was wrong.
145
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How can you compare yourself to him?
146
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Uh...
147
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Easy. He puts on his pants
just like me, one leg at a time.
148
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-You don't wear any pants.
-Uh...
149
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Okay, There you are, let's see him
get away with that on television.
150
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,584
[BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
151
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,424
[SIGHS]
152
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Say, did you ever fall in love
with a guy at first sight?
153
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Mm-hm.
154
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But it always took a while.
155
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You know, just once, I'd like
to stand next to Queen Elizabeth.
156
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I'd rather sit in with Count Basie.
157
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I find that most people don't believe
what other people tell them.
158
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Uh... I don't think that's true.
159
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,964
Hey, you wanna stop by the punch bowl?
160
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Why do they call it a punch bowl?
161
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That's why.
162
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Ahem. And now,
163
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in my never-ending struggle
to uplift these proceedings,
164
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here are two distinguished professors:
165
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,736
Doctors Arnold Nood and Frederick Nik,
166
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:15,949
to discuss post-Dickensian economics. Hm.
167
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,122
Okay, okay, okay. Tell them the story.
168
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,457
-Yeah, sure. Give me a break, will you?
-Yeah. Yeah.
169
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Okay, I'll give you a break.
170
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,504
To best explain "post-Die-kensan", um...
171
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-Whatever.
-Whatever.
172
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,467
...economics,
let me tell you a little story.
173
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-Yeah, tell them the story.
-I'm trying.
174
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-I am trying to tell them the story.
-Shh. Shh. Shh.
175
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Once upon a time
there was a man named Benny.
176
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-What else?
-What else?
177
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,528
Who was visited by his fairy godmother.
178
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-Fairy godmother.
-Fairy godmother.
179
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Yeah!
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Now, Benny's fairy godmother...
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00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:06,666
promised him that he would live forever
under one condition, see?
182
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-That he never, never shave again.
-Never shave.
183
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,172
-Isn't that some condition?
-Ah.
184
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Now, Benny never shaved after that.
185
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,551
-And you know what?
-What? What? What?
186
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,889
He lived to be 175 years old.
187
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,390
No!
188
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,771
-Now, one day Benny met a beautiful girl.
-Oh.
189
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,564
-It happens to anyone.
-Yeah.
190
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,567
-And he fell in what?
-Love?
191
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,569
-Yeah, very bright.
-Love.
192
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:35,945
-Ain't it wonderful?
-Oh!
193
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:40,325
And the beautiful girl asked Benny
to shave his beard off.
194
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,911
-And when the fairy godmother heard...
-Oh, yeah? Yeah?
195
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,205
-... that Benny had shaved...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah?
196
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:50,335
-... why, she got that mad.
-Mad.
197
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,545
She turned...
198
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:57,550
-She turned Benny into a Grecian urn.
-Yeah. Yeah.
199
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,553
And that only goes to prove
200
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,014
the economic theory:
201
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:05,100
A Benny shaved...
202
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:08,019
is a Benny urned.
203
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,188
[BOTH LAUGHING]
204
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,067
I love it! Oh!
205
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,322
[PLAYING "ANOTHER SOMEBODY
DONE SOMEBODY WRONG"]
206
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,328
♪ It's lonely out tonight ♪
207
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,748
♪ And the feeling just got right ♪
208
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,043
♪ For a brand new love song ♪
209
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:39,884
♪ Somebody-done-somebody-wrong song ♪
210
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,011
Okay, everybody.
211
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,722
♪ Hey, won't you play ♪
212
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:50,145
♪Another somebody-done-
Somebody-wrong song ♪
213
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,647
♪ And make me feel at home ♪
214
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,775
♪ While I miss my baby ♪
215
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:59,863
♪ While I miss my baby ♪
216
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,991
♪ So play, play for me ♪
217
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:06,036
♪ A sad melody ♪
218
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:12,417
♪ So sad that it makes everybody cry ♪
219
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,170
♪ A real hurting song ♪
220
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,923
♪ About a love that's gone wrong ♪
221
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:23,928
♪ Because I don't want to cry all alone ♪
222
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,058
♪ Hey, won't you play ♪
223
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:34,314
♪ Another somebody-done-
Somebody-wrong song ♪
224
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,941
♪ And make me feel at home ♪
225
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,944
♪ While I miss my baby ♪
226
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,405
♪ While I miss my baby ♪
227
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,407
Up a key!
228
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,035
♪ Hey, won't you play ♪
229
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:53,208
♪ Another somebody-done-
Somebody-wrong song ♪
230
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,710
♪ And make me feel at home ♪
231
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:59,255
♪ While I miss my baby ♪
232
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:06,346
♪ While I miss my baby ♪
233
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,641
Oh, I miss Kermit so. Oh!
234
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,643
[SOBBING]
235
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,647
[APPLAUDING]
236
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:26,074
Oh, Kermit,
that Peter Ustinov is wonderful.
237
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:29,077
Yeah.
He is quite a talented fellow, isn't he?
238
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:33,206
So appreciative, so observant.
239
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,376
The frog observes. The frog appreciates.
240
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:41,506
I had just gone in to give him his costume
and he looked at me, and he said:
241
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:47,762
"Hilda, you have
the most exquisite hemstitch."
242
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,015
Is that so?
243
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:56,104
Imagine a big star like that
noticing an old costume lady like me.
244
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,397
Now, Hilda, you know,
245
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,776
I have many times noted that your
craftsmanship as a seamstress is superb.
246
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:05,321
It is, in fact, flawless,
and you are a wonder.
247
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,451
So? What does a frog know?
248
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:15,707
Somehow I feel
my charisma's slipping away.
249
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,463
[MELLOW TUNE PLAYING]
250
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:28,928
♪ You do something to me ♪
251
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:34,893
♪ Something that simply mystifies me ♪
252
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:41,483
♪ Tell me why should it be ♪
253
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:47,155
♪ You have the power to hypnotize me? ♪
254
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:52,702
♪ Let me live 'neath your spell ♪
255
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:57,957
♪ Do do that voodoo that you do so well ♪
256
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:03,838
♪ For you do something to me ♪
257
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:07,717
♪ That nobody else could ♪
258
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,136
♪ Nobody else could ♪
259
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,139
♪ Nobody else could ♪
260
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,850
♪ Nobody else could ♪
261
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:20,939
Oh, finally, I thought you'd
never get me back to myself again.
262
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:25,360
♪ Nobody else ♪
263
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:30,407
♪ Could do ♪
264
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:39,124
NEWSCASTER:
Here's a Muppet news flash.
265
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,583
Copenhagen, Denmark.
266
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,963
Dr. Felix Oglebomb says that after
30 years' concentrated research,
267
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,757
he has discovered the
cure for the common cold.
268
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,885
Our Muppet cameras are on the scene
and we'll speak with Dr. Oglebomb
269
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:54,222
about this great medical breakthrough.
Dr. Oglebomb.
270
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,557
[IN DANISH ACCENT]
Yeah. Yeah.
271
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,893
I am Felix Oglebomb
in Copenhagen, Denmark.
272
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:01,521
Yes, Dr. Oglebomb.
Can you tell us about this cure?
273
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:05,483
Yeah, of course, It was right under
our noses, do you believe that?
274
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,527
I'm so excited.
275
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:11,865
First, you stay away from sick people.
That's very important.
276
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:16,911
Then you wrap your head
in a number-ten-sized brown paper bag,
277
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,664
and you pour honey over yourself,
278
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:24,252
and you hold your breath
for about an hour or so, eh?
279
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,880
Uh, and this will cure the common cold?
280
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,006
Positively.
281
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,133
[SNEEZES]
282
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,636
And then again...
283
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,888
[GROANS]
284
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:37,807
Yes, uh, well,
thank you very much, Dr. Oglebomb.
285
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,435
Remember, friends,
whenever big news breaks,
286
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,520
you certainly won't hear it here.
287
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:50,445
Oh. Ahem.
Once again, it's inspiration time.
288
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,073
And, goodness knows, we need some.
289
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,534
So here they are, Wayne and Wanda.
290
00:17:56,618 --> 00:18:02,332
♪ The falling leaves ♪
291
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,669
♪ Drift by the-- ♪
292
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,134
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
293
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:20,100
Uh, friends, once again it's time to raise
the intellectual level of our program
294
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:25,730
as our panel discusses a topic of concern
to thinking people everywhere, psychiatry.
295
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:28,733
And tonight's panel
includes our own Miss Piggy.
296
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,235
Kissy-kissy.
297
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:33,822
-Cynthia Birdley.
-Enchantée.
298
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:36,783
And our own special guest
is Dr. Kurt Von Frong
299
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,368
who is a practicing psychiatrist.
300
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,204
[IN GERMAN ACCENT]
Hello, Mummy. Heh, heh.
301
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:45,583
Hm. So, you are
a practicing psychiatrist, doctor?
302
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,751
-Yeah, yeah.
-Mmm.
303
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,586
-How long you been practicing?
-Oh...
304
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,880
-Thirty-five years.
-Oh.
305
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,800
Isn't it time you stopped practicing
and got on with it?
306
00:18:55,093 --> 00:19:00,015
-Uh, Cynthia, please. Don't be ridiculous.
-No, no, no, Mr. Frog. It's all right.
307
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:03,518
Misunderstandings about psychiatry
are common.
308
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:08,398
You see, basically, it is a tool
to help us deal with frustrations.
309
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:13,778
Otherwise we develop problems
that result where? In complexes.
310
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:18,241
-Oh, I know. My mother lives in one.
-Yeah. One what?
311
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:22,287
A complex. She lives downstairs,
the Murphys live upstairs.
312
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,040
-You should hear them fighting all day.
-Cynthia, no, no, no.
313
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:29,002
-The doctor's talking about psychiatry.
-Don't concern yourself.
314
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,171
"The Murphys." Heh, heh.
315
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,923
Psychiatry has its own jargon.
316
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:38,553
And only when you know the meaning
of the various terms
317
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,389
can you begin to understand.
318
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:45,810
Terms like complex,
sublimation, regression.
319
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,187
Gestalt!
320
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,689
-[IN UNISON] Gesundheit.
-[SNEEZES]
321
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:52,025
Gestalt, not gesundheit.
322
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,445
Yeah, yeah, girls. Now, see, the doctor's
talking about psychological terms.
323
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,448
Yes, yes. Correct. Now, Mr. Kermit,
324
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:02,369
when it was first used, you see,
by Sigmund, uh...
325
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,206
The father of psychiatry,
326
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,708
he was the first in his field.
327
00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:12,837
Of course, he didn't get any good at it
until he got an office
328
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:15,423
and he got out of that field.
329
00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:16,925
[BOTH LAUGH]
330
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:22,555
-That's a trade joke.
-You'd better trade it for another one.
331
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,309
Cynthia, come on now,
don't be embarrassing the doctor here.
332
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,688
-It's all right, Mr. Kermit Frog.
-Right.
333
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:35,985
A good psychiatrist learns to find
the proper way to handle any situation.
334
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:40,365
You see, I think, personally,
that the Janov theory
335
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:45,120
of primal-scream therapy might work here.
336
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:48,998
It's guaranteed to get rid
of all your problems.
337
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,959
-I'd like to hear it.
-Mm. Me too.
338
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:53,753
-Yeah, so would I.
-Yes? You got it.
339
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:54,963
[SCREAMS]
340
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,508
Are you all right down there? Ha, ha.
341
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,511
No problems more. It works every time.
342
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:05,849
I believe that does it
for tonight's pseudoscientific
343
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:10,520
psychiatric Sigmund, uh, discussion.
344
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,981
And I hope you tune in next week
345
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:17,694
when, with luck, I won't be there.
346
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:28,288
-What are you looking for?
-My contact lens.
347
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:29,414
Oh.
348
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,665
Oh, here it is.
349
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,917
[STOMPS, THEN LENS SHATTERS]
350
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,086
-Sorry.
-Ugh!
351
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:40,008
He's in his dressing room,
I know him personally.
352
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,176
-Oh, really?
-Hey, Kermit?
353
00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:44,554
I was wondering, could you get me
Peter Ustinov's autograph?
354
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:48,975
-He's one of your favorites, huh?
-Oh, not one of them. He is my favorite.
355
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:54,439
-Uh, last week I was your favorite.
-Well, we grow, Kermit. We progress.
356
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,942
I just saw him in that last sketch,
I was on the floor.
357
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,820
That's a lousy place
to watch a sketch from.
358
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,781
I meant from laughter.
359
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:06,618
You see, when I grow up,
I wanna be just like him.
360
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,912
Uh, last week
you wanted to be just like me.
361
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,664
I was wrong.
362
00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:14,292
Kermit, I'm in my formative years.
363
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:17,462
Uh, if you had a choice,
which would you choose?
364
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,298
Would you like to grow up
and be an international star
365
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:23,051
or would you like to grow up
and be a frog?
366
00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:28,807
Uh, I'd turn green with envy
if I weren't already green.
367
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:33,436
I hope I didn't hurt his feelings.
368
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,315
[MELLOW TUNE PLAYING]
369
00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:43,822
♪ It's not easy bein' green ♪
370
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:50,954
♪ Having to spend each day
The color of the leaves ♪
371
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:59,379
♪ When I think it might be nicer
Being red or yellow or gold ♪
372
00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:03,675
♪ Or something much more
Colorful like that ♪
373
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:12,475
♪ It's not easy bein' green ♪
374
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:18,481
♪ Seems you blend in
With so many other ordinary things ♪
375
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:25,530
♪ And people tend to pass you over ♪
376
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:29,659
♪ 'Cause you're not standing out
Like flashy sparkles in the water ♪
377
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:32,996
♪ Or stars in the sky ♪
378
00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:41,129
♪ But green's the color of spring ♪
379
00:23:43,882 --> 00:23:48,345
♪ And green can be cool
And friendly-like ♪
380
00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:57,812
♪ And green can be big like a mountain ♪
381
00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:01,691
♪ Or important like a river ♪
382
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:04,152
♪ Or tall like a tree ♪
383
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:16,915
♪ When green is all there is to be ♪
384
00:24:19,918 --> 00:24:23,838
♪ It could make you wonder why ♪
385
00:24:24,881 --> 00:24:28,218
♪ But why wonder? ♪
386
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:29,969
♪ Why wonder? ♪
387
00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:35,308
♪ I'm green and it'll do fine ♪
388
00:24:35,392 --> 00:24:37,435
♪ It's beautiful ♪
389
00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:42,691
♪ And I think it's what I wanna be ♪
390
00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,959
Well, that just about does it
for this week
391
00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:03,878
and I want to thank our guest,
Mr. Peter Ustinov, for joining us.
392
00:25:03,962 --> 00:25:07,132
Peter, come on out here. Yeah!
393
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:09,342
I've just been talking to
your show's writer.
394
00:25:09,426 --> 00:25:10,760
He's a man of many talents.
395
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:13,680
-Isn't he, though?
-Yes. Wears more than one hat.
396
00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:17,267
Oh, yeah, Peter.
Hey, listen, it's been great having you.
397
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,769
Although, I must admit
I've been a little bit jealous.
398
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:21,771
-You have? I'm jealous of you.
-Yes.
399
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:24,357
-I've always wanted to be a frog.
-You're kidding.
400
00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:27,027
Ah, ah. Ribbit, ribbit.
401
00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:29,696
-How do you do that?
-A very tight shirt collar.
402
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:33,533
Well, welcome to the
wonderful world of frogs.
403
00:25:33,616 --> 00:25:37,120
[IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE] Yeah, and we'll
see you all next time on The Muppet Show.
404
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:43,376
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
405
00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:47,255
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
406
00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:20,830
Well, they did improve the level
of television entertainment.
407
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:23,667
Well, they had no place to go but up.
31836
Can't find what you're looking for?
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