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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,150
[PLAYING BAD MUSIC]
2
00:00:08,316 --> 00:00:12,183
Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.
3
00:00:12,216 --> 00:00:13,350
Miss Fine,
you can't possibly
4
00:00:13,383 --> 00:00:14,483
hear the person
you're talking to
5
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,160
with all this racket.
6
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,000
Why do you think
I called ma?
7
00:00:20,183 --> 00:00:21,416
Frankie, Frankie,
8
00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:23,200
when are you coming
back to practice?
9
00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:25,333
-Thursday.
-Call you Thursday, ma.
10
00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:27,450
Frankie,
go get your stuff.
11
00:00:27,483 --> 00:00:30,000
Your dad's gonna pick you up
any minute.
12
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:31,450
You know, Gracie,
if you switch to piano,
13
00:00:31,483 --> 00:00:35,500
you'd have
so much more in common
with Billy Joel's kid.
14
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:37,660
Why would I wanna meet
Billy Joel's kid?
15
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:39,266
Well, because her father
is recently divorced,
16
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,233
sensitive and Jewish.
17
00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:46,150
Stop always thinking
about yourself, miss.
18
00:00:46,183 --> 00:00:49,383
I'll put away your violin
so it doesn't get broken.
19
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,283
You know, Frankie,
you really should
practice more.
20
00:00:54,316 --> 00:00:56,116
Hey, don't tell me
what to do,
21
00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:59,160
or my father
will put you in a pair
of cement Mary Janes.
22
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:01,500
[DOORBELL RINGS]
23
00:01:01,830 --> 00:01:03,166
Oh, I'll get it!
24
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,283
Oh, hi.
You must be Mr. Tattori.
25
00:01:09,316 --> 00:01:14,500
Please, my friends
call me Tony.
26
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,316
What does your wife
call you?
27
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,383
I'm divorced.
28
00:01:19,416 --> 00:01:21,160
I'm Fran.
29
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,433
You seem very
familiar to me.
Where you from?
30
00:01:24,466 --> 00:01:25,433
Flushing.
31
00:01:25,466 --> 00:01:27,500
No kidding. Me, too.
32
00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:28,500
I can't believe it.
33
00:01:28,830 --> 00:01:29,266
You hardly have an accent.
34
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,000
[LAUGHS]
35
00:01:31,330 --> 00:01:32,366
Well, you know,
I've been living
in Manhattan
36
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,216
for two whole years,
so I kind of lost it.
37
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:39,500
Meanwhile, they said
you can never get out
of the neighborhood,
38
00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:41,283
and look at us.
You in your
cashmere overcoat,
39
00:01:41,316 --> 00:01:43,316
me in my boss's mansion.
40
00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:48,233
Hey, Cheech,
give me a hug.
41
00:01:48,266 --> 00:01:49,483
It'll cost you $10.
42
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,400
That's my boy.
43
00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:53,466
What do you say we arrange
another play date?
44
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,366
Oh, well,
what do you say, Gracie?
45
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,283
Do you want
Frankie and his dad
to come over again?
46
00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,183
Fran, Frankie
broke my Barbie's legs
47
00:02:00,216 --> 00:02:03,133
and stuffed her in the trunk
of the Dream Car.
48
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,450
She'd love to.
49
00:02:07,483 --> 00:02:09,433
I was talking
about you and me.
50
00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:11,400
I will pick you up on Friday.
51
00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:13,116
Friday? Wait a minute.
52
00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:14,466
We hardly know each other.
53
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,300
Better start on Thursday,
take care of that.
54
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:23,183
You're a funny girl.
I'm gonna send you
some steaks.
55
00:02:23,216 --> 00:02:25,830
Cheech, the door.
56
00:02:25,116 --> 00:02:26,183
[DOOR OPENS]
57
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:30,466
He's sending me beef?
58
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,400
Is that guy classy or what?
59
00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:38,350
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
60
00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:41,216
SINGER:♪♪ She was workingin a bridal shopin Flushing, Queens ♪♪
61
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:42,483
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
62
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,283
♪♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
63
00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:46,116
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
64
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:49,233
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
65
00:02:49,266 --> 00:02:52,160
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushingto the Sheffield's door ♪♪
66
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,316
♪♪ She was thereto sell makeup,but the father saw more ♪♪
67
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,350
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
68
00:02:56,383 --> 00:03:00,166
♪♪ That's howshe became the nanny! ♪♪
69
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,250
♪♪ Who would have guessedthat the girlwe've described ♪♪
70
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,316
♪♪ Was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
71
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,116
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
72
00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:08,350
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
73
00:03:08,383 --> 00:03:10,116
♪♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪♪
74
00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:11,216
♪♪ Such♪♪
75
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:13,160
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
76
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,483
♪♪ When everybody elseis wearing tan ♪♪
77
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,466
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
78
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,000
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
79
00:03:22,466 --> 00:03:26,000
[WHISTLING]
80
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,316
Looking for your diary?
81
00:03:33,416 --> 00:03:35,283
Give that back to me,
you creep.
82
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,450
All right.
83
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,233
No, wait.
That was too easy.
84
00:03:41,316 --> 00:03:43,150
You see,
while you were
sticking your tongue
85
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:45,300
in Peter Bidwell's mouth,
page 6,
86
00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:49,416
I was sticking quarters
in the copier at Kinko's.
87
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,350
Okay.
How much do you want?
88
00:03:53,383 --> 00:03:55,450
Look around.
Money I got.
89
00:03:57,216 --> 00:04:00,000
What I need
is a personal slave.
90
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,433
I am nobody's slave.
91
00:04:02,466 --> 00:04:05,300
Ah, not according
to page 22 entitled,
92
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:09,233
"Things
I can't let Peter know
I did with Jeff Connelly."
93
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,330
I'll kill you!
94
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,150
MAXWELL: C.C., are you insane?
95
00:04:15,183 --> 00:04:18,660
How could you tell our star
she could be replaced?
96
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:21,216
Maxwell, anyone can be
replaced.
97
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:25,266
Not Whoopie Goldberg in
A Night with WhoopieGoldberg!
98
00:04:27,466 --> 00:04:32,383
Well, actually,
Sandy Duncan played
Valerie Harper for years.
99
00:04:33,383 --> 00:04:35,383
Maxwell, her demands
were outrageous.
100
00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:38,383
She wanted
her own makeup artist
and hair designer.
101
00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:40,333
I said,
"You can just
damn well use
102
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,283
who the rest
of the cast is using."
103
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,416
C.C., she is the rest
of the cast.
104
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,830
God, how can you cause me
such consternation?
105
00:04:50,116 --> 00:04:54,266
Well, I think
it's the banana
bran muffins myself.
106
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:57,116
I mean, banana, bran...
107
00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:59,183
your colon's confused.
108
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:03,500
-Don't you have
something to do?
-Absolutely.
109
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:04,316
I need to ask you
for some time off.
110
00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,216
I gotta get off early
on Thursday.
111
00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:09,400
I've got a date,
which means I've gotta
gel, mousse, pluck, blend.
112
00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:11,133
Oh, I'll tell you,
113
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,450
I'll be glad when
this natural look
is out.
114
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,000
Ah-ha! So, now, this is
how to negotiate
115
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,660
with someone
that works for you
that wants something.
116
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,400
Watch and learn.
[CLEARS THROAT]
117
00:05:21,433 --> 00:05:23,433
All right, Miss Fine,
I'll let you off early
on Thursday
118
00:05:23,466 --> 00:05:25,216
if you stay late on Sunday.
119
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,250
Well, I can't
stay late on Sunday
120
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,830
but I can start late
on Sunday
121
00:05:29,116 --> 00:05:31,416
and work my regular hours
Monday, Tuesday,
and Wednesday
122
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:33,366
since you gave me
Thursday off.
123
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,500
No. I didn't give you
Thursday off.
124
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,133
I just said that
you could leave early.
125
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:38,266
Oh, all right.
126
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,330
I'll leave early
on Thursday,
127
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:41,316
but I've still got
Sunday off.
128
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:44,166
No.
You're coming in late.
129
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,150
Oh, all right, already.
130
00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:53,483
How does she
do that to him?
131
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,366
Oh, it's a female thing.
You wouldn't understand.
132
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:00,266
[DOORBELL RINGS]
133
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,116
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
134
00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,350
Oh, thank you, sir.
135
00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:10,433
Oh, what a beautiful
gift box.
136
00:06:10,466 --> 00:06:12,250
Ah, yes.
That'll be from
the Tony committee.
137
00:06:12,283 --> 00:06:14,333
I made a fantastic speech
the other night.
138
00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:16,160
[EXCLAIMING]
139
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,160
Well, it looks like
140
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:18,266
I'll be bringing home
a Tony
141
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,133
before you do.
142
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:22,160
What?
143
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,166
Who's Tony?
144
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,400
And why is he sending you
London broil?
145
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:28,116
Oh, London broil
146
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:32,116
and sirloin and T-bone
and flank. Oh, my!
147
00:06:34,183 --> 00:06:37,330
Tony Tattori, you know,
the new guy I met.
148
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,330
Miss Fine, don't you wonder
about a man you've just met
149
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:40,466
who's lavishing you
with expensive gifts?
150
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,333
Yeah. I wonder
where he's been
my whole life.
151
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,100
What are you gonna do
with this side of beef?
152
00:06:47,133 --> 00:06:48,216
Oh, I don't know.
153
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,116
We'll probably go out
to the theater,
154
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:52,830
have a couple of drinks
afterwards.
155
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,400
[♪♪♪]
156
00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:03,500
Oh, Miss Fine,
look at you.
157
00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:05,160
Don't you look ravishing!
158
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,100
Thanks.
I'm going out
with Tony tonight.
159
00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:09,216
In that?
160
00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:11,150
Don't you like it?
161
00:07:11,183 --> 00:07:12,450
Well, it's just that
it's...
162
00:07:12,483 --> 00:07:14,466
it's freezing outside.
163
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,300
Oh, no, sir.
Actually, it's the warmest
December day since 1902.
164
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:22,333
Yes. But there's
a cold front coming in.
165
00:07:22,366 --> 00:07:24,216
Oh? I didn't hear that.
166
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:26,416
Yes. The new butler
is bringing it.
167
00:07:28,483 --> 00:07:31,283
Well, how can
a butler bring-- Oh.
168
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:36,283
Miss Fine, it's just
that I'm concerned about
you freezing out there.
169
00:07:36,316 --> 00:07:40,383
Oh, don't you
worry.
I've got a coat.
170
00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:45,500
What's this Tony fellow like
anyway?
171
00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,400
Oh, well, he's
cute,
he's rich.
172
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:52,166
He's got an adorable accent,
and he loves musical theater.
173
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,283
I'll tell you,
he's like nobody
I've ever met before.
174
00:07:55,316 --> 00:07:57,433
-What kind of car
does he drive?
-A limo.
175
00:07:57,466 --> 00:08:00,116
-Town Car?
-Stretch. It's enormous.
176
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,350
Bigger than mine?
177
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,160
Honey, if it's
so important to you,
178
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,250
whip yours
out of the garage,
179
00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:11,250
and we'll have
a limo measuring contest.
180
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:17,266
[♪♪♪]
181
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:22,283
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
182
00:08:23,483 --> 00:08:25,283
Hey, Mr. Tony.
183
00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:26,433
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
184
00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:30,160
Never have I seen you
with anyone more beautiful.
185
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,366
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
186
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,266
Fine. Fran Fine.
187
00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:38,333
Hey, Gino, Carmine,
Mr. Tony's table!
188
00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:41,433
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
189
00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:47,216
Wow! You must be
some big tipper.
190
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,000
The owner's
in the family.
191
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:51,100
Oh, a cousin?
192
00:08:51,133 --> 00:08:52,300
No. No relation.
193
00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:59,416
Oh, would you look
at those four guys
over there?
194
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:02,300
They were
sitting right behind us
inBeauty and the Beast.
195
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:06,366
Is that a coincidence
or what?
196
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,200
Hey, fellas,
did you enjoy the show?
197
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:11,416
-Good show. Yeah.
-The teapot was funny.
198
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:19,283
So, tell me about yourself.
199
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:22,216
What do you like to do
besides dress like
a million bucks
200
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:24,366
and drive around
in a limo?
201
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,333
Which is all I ever
really aspired to.
202
00:09:28,316 --> 00:09:30,400
It's not important
what I do.
203
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:33,216
It is important
who I am.
204
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,333
Who are you?
205
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,500
It is not important
who I am.
206
00:09:38,116 --> 00:09:40,266
It is important
who I am with.
207
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,283
[EXCLAIMING]
208
00:09:41,316 --> 00:09:43,466
Here. This is for you.
209
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:48,660
Oh, Tony,
you shouldn't have.
[GASPS]
210
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:52,233
Yes, you should have!
Oh, my God!
211
00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:57,200
Fran, you are
the most lovely creature
I've ever set eyes upon
212
00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:59,660
except for my late mother.
213
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,150
Poor woman,
just couldn't
keep her mouth shut.
214
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,233
Oh, Tony, would you excuse me,
please?
215
00:10:07,266 --> 00:10:10,266
I've got to go
powder my nose.
216
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,133
You've gotta go, too?
217
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:15,333
Boy, this is getting freaky.
218
00:10:19,366 --> 00:10:22,166
Oh, oh, oh, God.
219
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,150
[EXCLAIMING]
220
00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:30,166
I gotta call Val.
221
00:10:37,116 --> 00:10:41,000
Yes. Hi, Mrs.
Toriello.
Is Val home?
222
00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:43,400
I guess that was
a stupid question.
223
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,500
Oh, hi, Val.
You're not gonna
believe this present
224
00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:49,366
that Tony gave me!
225
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,100
[GUNS FIRING]
226
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:53,100
Oh, oh, oh.
227
00:10:53,133 --> 00:10:55,300
They're not gonna get this!
228
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,150
[WHIMPERING]
229
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:18,283
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.
230
00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:22,450
[GASPING]
Tony, what happened?
231
00:11:22,483 --> 00:11:25,133
Jimmy Nucci said hello.
232
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:30,116
[♪♪♪]
233
00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:34,466
Oh, no.
234
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,333
Tony, it'll never work out.
235
00:11:37,366 --> 00:11:39,316
I'm Jewish.
236
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:43,416
And you're a killer.
237
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:49,183
[SCREAMING]
238
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:54,266
Gracie, I told you
to give this thing
to charity.
239
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,150
What's it doing in my bed?
240
00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:58,330
Hmm.
241
00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,300
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
242
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:00,316
Come in.
243
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:02,100
Oh, oh, Val,
244
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,433
what are you doing
here so early?
245
00:12:03,466 --> 00:12:05,150
I want to know
what Tony gave you.
246
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,266
-Oh, who cares
what he gave me?
-[GASPS]
247
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,283
Isn't it gorgeous?
248
00:12:09,316 --> 00:12:11,366
Honey,
I gotta break up
with him, though.
249
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,200
I gotta end
this relationship
250
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,283
because, you know,
Tony is...
251
00:12:15,316 --> 00:12:17,660
A nose picker?
252
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,216
Oh, they are the worst.
253
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,350
Let me guess,
while he's driving?
254
00:12:22,383 --> 00:12:24,660
What is it
with guys and cars?
255
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,483
They think
no one can see in?
256
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:31,250
Oh, Val, I blame myself.
257
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:34,250
Remember when I gave you
your first Toni Home Perm?
258
00:12:34,283 --> 00:12:38,266
I wasn't supposed to
leave the chemicals on
for four hours.
259
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:43,500
I just wanted to watch
The Thorn Birds.
260
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:48,830
Val, Tony is in the mob.
261
00:12:48,116 --> 00:12:51,660
Fran, just 'cause he's Italian
doesn't mean he's in the mob.
262
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,250
I mean,
that's like saying
just 'cause you're Jewish,
263
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:56,500
your mother drives you crazy,
and you eat when you're upset.
264
00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:59,366
Oh, Val,
what am I gonna do?
265
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,000
Fran, I am very offended.
266
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:03,333
Just 'cause I'm Italian
doesn't mean
267
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,316
I know everything
about the mob.
268
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,500
But if the jamook
is a chooch,
269
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:08,250
it means he's gotta
whack a jadrool
270
00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:10,333
to become Cosa Nostra.
271
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:13,366
You better tell Mr. Sheffield
right away.
272
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,133
Val, I can't tell anyone.
273
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,333
Whoever knows
is in grave danger.
274
00:13:17,366 --> 00:13:18,416
But you just told me.
275
00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:20,350
Well, I had to tell someone.
276
00:13:22,216 --> 00:13:24,466
Yeah. But why would you
put my life in danger?
277
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,483
Well, you're my best friend.
278
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,133
Oh, that is so sweet.
279
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,000
Listen, Franny,
you better break up
with Tony right away.
280
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:39,450
Val, you can't just break up
with guys like this.
281
00:13:39,483 --> 00:13:42,433
You gotta move to Idaho,
take a Nordic name,
282
00:13:42,466 --> 00:13:46,366
and never
see your family again
for the rest of your life.
283
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:50,330
What do you think
of Helga?
284
00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:57,316
Oh, slave.
285
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:59,330
Yes, Master Brighton.
286
00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,166
Here is your orange yoghurt
smoothie.
287
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,483
Oh, that's a good slave.
288
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,830
Hey, let's just hope
you didn't put anything
gross or disgusting in it
289
00:14:08,116 --> 00:14:11,283
because naturally
I'm gonna make you
taste it first.
290
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,383
You will be broken.
291
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:22,330
Fran, somebody
is gonna be killed.
292
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:24,300
[GASPING]
Who told you?
293
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,366
I'm talking about Brighton.
294
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,116
He stole my diary,
295
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:31,316
and he says
he's gonna show dad
296
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,266
unless I do everything
he wants for a week.
297
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,166
Oh, honey,
I could have made you
a slave for a month
298
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,483
off of page 26 alone.
299
00:14:40,283 --> 00:14:41,483
I imagine.
300
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,500
Fran, what am I gonna do?
301
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,216
Sweetie, didn't he read
the chapter
302
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,366
where you caught him
on tape
303
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,350
French kissing your old
Lisa Simpson doll?
304
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:53,500
I don't have a tape of that.
305
00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:56,283
Oh, well, now you do.
306
00:14:57,366 --> 00:15:00,200
Oh, my gosh, Fran,
I love you.
307
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,160
How did you know
to do this?
308
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,450
Sweetie, I'm a nanny.
309
00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:06,433
Sooner or later
either you or Gracie
was gonna need it.
310
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,300
Miss Fine,
is there anything wrong?
311
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,000
Oh, Niles,
I wish I can tell you,
312
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,416
but anyone who knows
is in grave danger.
313
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:27,250
You mean your involvement
with a mobster
314
00:15:27,283 --> 00:15:28,416
you're terrified
to break up with
315
00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:30,433
because you think
he's gonna rub you out?
316
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,500
Val told you?
317
00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:36,250
One Dove bar
and she spilled
like a cup of coffee.
318
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,183
Hey, wait a minute.
319
00:15:40,216 --> 00:15:43,300
Tony's not the only one
with muscle in his family.
320
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:47,300
I got relatives, too.
I can have him taken care of.
321
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,433
You mean killed?
322
00:15:48,466 --> 00:15:52,660
No! Audited.
323
00:15:54,466 --> 00:15:56,433
Oh, Maxwell, calm down.
324
00:15:56,466 --> 00:15:59,200
So we lost Whoopie.
325
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:01,483
I'm sure the theater owner
will let us
out of our commitment.
326
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,000
I'll just charm him.
327
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,350
Okay.
Then how about this?
328
00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,366
We'll just move up
the next show.
329
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,350
[IMITATING C.C.]
Oh, we'll just
move up the next show.
330
00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:15,333
The one for which
we don't have a director,
331
00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:18,150
a set designer, or a tenor
to sing the lead,
332
00:16:18,183 --> 00:16:21,316
which is why
we moved it back
in the first place.
333
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:25,466
Maxwell, if you intend
to get gruff with me,
lock the door.
334
00:16:28,283 --> 00:16:31,160
Mr. Sheffield,
I must speak with you.
335
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,316
You know, they make estrogen
in a patch now.
336
00:16:39,483 --> 00:16:41,333
It has to do
with Miss Fine.
337
00:16:41,366 --> 00:16:42,416
Yes, well, what is it?
338
00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:44,183
Well, I can't tell you, sir.
339
00:16:44,216 --> 00:16:47,330
Anyone who knows could be
in grave danger.
340
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:48,350
Well, then, why did you bother
to come in?
341
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,216
To tell her.
342
00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:54,333
Listen,
Tennessee Tuxedo,
343
00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:56,150
I don't have time
for you today.
344
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:59,830
I have to find a tenor
for our new show.
345
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:01,133
Wait a minute.
346
00:17:01,166 --> 00:17:04,330
Maxwell, Niles has
a beautiful voice.
347
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:06,160
We'll just put him
in the show.
348
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:07,200
Can you do
a southern accent?
349
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:09,383
"It's Shake 'N Bake,
and I helped."
350
00:17:10,433 --> 00:17:12,330
Can you do a time step?
351
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:13,100
[SCATTING]
352
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:16,660
Can you be more naive?
353
00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:20,366
Sucker.
354
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,483
Well, she got you that time,
old man.
355
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,383
Oh, I let her have
that one, sir.
356
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:29,160
She gets satisfaction
from a man so infrequently.
357
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,116
So, what's all this
about Miss Fine, eh?
358
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:34,333
[CLEARING THROAT]
Well, just a minute, sir.
I need to clear my throat.
359
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:36,300
[SINGING]
360
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:39,133
-Forget it, Niles.
-Okay.
361
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:42,133
Miss Fine is
being intimidated
by a certain gentleman,
362
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:44,116
tall, dark, handsome...
363
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,416
What did I do?
364
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,330
Sorry, sir.
It was a fly.
365
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,216
Sir, it's just that,
well,
366
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:54,483
Mr. Tony is not exactly
Miss Fine's cup of tea.
367
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,330
Oh, don't tell me
Miss Fine is put off
by a man
368
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:02,166
who likes to
say it with meat?
369
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,316
Well, you're missing
the point, sir.
370
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,116
Miss Fine would like
to break up with Tony,
371
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,200
-but she's afraid to
because...
-I know. I know, I know.
372
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:09,466
She doesn't want to
devastate the man,
373
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,116
hurt his feelings,
break his heart.
374
00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:15,433
I'll do it for her.
375
00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:19,160
[DOORBELL RINGS]
376
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,466
Oh, Tony,
I can't go out
with you anymore.
377
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,250
I know what you do,
and...
378
00:18:24,283 --> 00:18:27,333
I'll be dead before
I finish that sentence.
379
00:18:27,366 --> 00:18:30,483
Okay. Hang tough.
Don't let him scare you.
380
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:34,366
Baby, give me a kiss.
381
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,660
Okay.
382
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,366
Oh, no, no, Tony.
383
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,133
Come on,
let's go get
something to eat.
384
00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:43,366
Oh, no. No, I can't.
385
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:47,450
Usually, when I say,
"Jump," people say,
"How high?"
386
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:49,333
Okay.
387
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:53,366
I can't leave
because of the kids,
and I just had a big sandwich.
388
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,116
Oh, Miss Fine,
there you are.
389
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,250
I've been looking
all over for you.
390
00:18:56,283 --> 00:18:58,333
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
this is Tony.
391
00:18:58,366 --> 00:19:00,116
Tony, this is
Mr. Sheffield.
392
00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:03,830
If he says, "Jump,"
jump, jump!
393
00:19:03,116 --> 00:19:06,116
Ah, so, you're the infamous
Tony, huh?
394
00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:08,300
You and I need
to have a word.
395
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,266
Well, what happened
to having a word?
396
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:15,450
There you go, sweetheart.
Take a shot at Puccini, eh?
397
00:19:15,483 --> 00:19:16,466
Tough family.
398
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,160
Frankie's not getting his
399
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,450
until he's confirmed.
400
00:19:19,483 --> 00:19:23,233
Off you go, sweetheart.
Don't forget your sheet music.
401
00:19:23,266 --> 00:19:24,433
There was a violin
in there?
402
00:19:24,466 --> 00:19:26,166
Yes. Why?
What'd you think it was?
403
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,233
A machine gun?
[LAUGHS]
404
00:19:28,266 --> 00:19:29,483
Mr. Sheffield.
405
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,266
Oh, you thought
I was packing heat
406
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:34,133
like some
cartoon mobster, eh?
407
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:35,350
Mr. Sheffield.
408
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:38,266
What's the matter, Miss Fine?
You need a Kleenex?
409
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,433
Miss Fine, that's not
very attractive.
410
00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:44,166
You keep that up,
you won't need me
to break up with him.
411
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,150
You want to break up
with me?
412
00:19:46,183 --> 00:19:47,366
What? There's something
going on
413
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,416
between you
and Pierce Bronston here?
414
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:54,160
I'll go call an ambulance.
415
00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:58,150
Well, Tony, I do think
it's all for the best.
416
00:19:58,183 --> 00:20:01,183
Fran, I do not like
where this is going.
417
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:03,466
Oh, okay.
I take it all back.
418
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,316
Where do you want
to live?
419
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,400
Miss Fine, would you stop
doing that?
420
00:20:07,433 --> 00:20:09,333
Now, look here,
she doesn't want
to see you any more,
421
00:20:09,366 --> 00:20:11,300
and that's that.
422
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:14,366
What? Are the boys doing
some kind of blooper thing
for my birthday? Huh?
423
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:17,166
What's going on?
424
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,250
Niles told me
to come out here
425
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,300
and stand
in front of Maxwell.
426
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,183
Oh, by the way,
I just signed
427
00:20:27,216 --> 00:20:29,433
Mandy Patinkin
to do our new show.
428
00:20:29,466 --> 00:20:33,830
Wait, you're
Maxwell Sheffield,
the Broadway producer?
429
00:20:33,116 --> 00:20:36,266
-Yes.
-♪♪ If I loved you ♪♪
430
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:39,300
♪♪ Time and againI would try to say ♪♪
431
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,466
Actually,
we need a tenor.
432
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,416
♪♪ All I'd want you to know ♪♪
433
00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:48,233
You-- You tell me, if--
434
00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:52,200
perhaps if you weren't
so involved with Miss Fine,
435
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:55,330
you'd have time
to understudy Mandy.
436
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:58,366
Oh, he's not gonna
break up with me
to be an understudy.
437
00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,483
Stay out of this, baby.
438
00:21:02,183 --> 00:21:03,433
Where do I sign?
439
00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:06,383
-Right this way.
-Do you like steaks?
440
00:21:09,216 --> 00:21:12,200
Oh, cheer up, Miss Fine.
441
00:21:12,233 --> 00:21:15,330
So Tony wasn't the one.
442
00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:18,383
You're a beautiful woman.
You shouldn't go rushing
into relationships.
443
00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:23,283
Don't chase men.
Find a way to make
men chase you.
444
00:21:25,830 --> 00:21:26,366
All right.
I'll give it a shot.
445
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,116
Your new understudy?
446
00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:31,350
He's in the mob.
447
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,316
Miss Fine!
448
00:21:36,383 --> 00:21:38,116
I don't do no nudity.
449
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:40,830
[YELPING]
Help, help, help!
450
00:21:46,216 --> 00:21:48,300
Your colon's confused.
451
00:21:50,133 --> 00:21:52,116
-Don't you have
something to do?
-Absolutely.
452
00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:53,316
I gotta ask you
for some time off.
453
00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:56,160
I got a date on Thursday
so I wanna leave early.
454
00:21:56,500 --> 00:22:00,333
Means I've gotta powder
and puff and tease and...
455
00:22:03,383 --> 00:22:05,100
[MUMBLING]
456
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:07,316
Your colon's confused.
457
00:22:07,350 --> 00:22:10,100
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was looking
the wrong way.
458
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:12,200
I thought we were
going back earlier.
459
00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:14,500
-That wouldn't match.
-Wait, hey, wait.
460
00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:17,266
Yeah. This is the gentleman
with the confused colon now...
461
00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:19,433
My...
462
00:22:19,466 --> 00:22:22,350
And then
what I went up on...
463
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:25,266
gel, mousse...
gel, mousse...
464
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:28,400
-WOMAN: Pluck.
-Pluck, blend.
465
00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:30,433
-Gel, mousse, pluck, blend.
-MAN: Okay. Here we go.
466
00:22:30,466 --> 00:22:33,150
I need some time off.
I've got a date on Thursday,
467
00:22:33,183 --> 00:22:35,366
which means
I've gotta pluck and...
468
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,466
[SCREAMING]
469
00:22:40,266 --> 00:22:43,333
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
34684
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