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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,587 Asta: Previously on resident alien... 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,523 David: I think this alien is here to kill everybody. 3 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,634 Alien Harry: You will help me find my device. 4 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,053 That's on the glacier. You can't go there. 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,305 Harry, don't go! It's too dangerous. 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,224 Not for me. Max: Harry! 7 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,785 Lisa: You have kids? We have a little boy named Max. 8 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:18,977 Max. 9 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,687 You should take my number. Call anytime. 10 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,899 Alien Harry: When I find my device, I can finally kill them all. 11 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,192 Asta: Harry. 12 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,485 Don't move. 13 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,741 I am what your people call an extraterrestrial. 14 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,493 An alien. Oh... 15 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,994 Oh, I feel nauseous. 16 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,080 You earn respect through your actions, deputy. 17 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,623 Did you make your own murder board? 18 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,667 Toxicology results. Sam was poisoned. 19 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,752 You don't respect me, and you never have. 20 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:44,962 I quit. 21 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,798 D'arcy: I'm not quitting. I'm gonna get us out of here. 22 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,510 Asta: Tell me how to help you. My leg. 23 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,304 I will die if you don't chop it off. 24 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,890 Okay, look at me. I won't let you die. 25 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,689 Do my feet look like watermelons? 26 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,023 'Cause they feel like it. 27 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:07,442 Sexiest watermelons I've ever seen. 28 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,780 Still so much to do before Jack or joanie comes. 29 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,741 We need crib sheets and burp cloths. 30 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,785 Couples massage. 31 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:21,206 So where do we stand on baby food? 32 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,375 Jarred or homemade? 33 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,712 I don't know. I read somewhere homemade 34 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,047 doesn't keep as well. A little too lumpy. 35 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,174 Plus, I've tried baby applesauce, 36 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,135 and it's freakin' delicious. 37 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,056 What's happening? 38 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,397 I don't know. 39 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,323 Oh, my god. 40 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,079 Honey! 41 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,922 Honey, the baby. 42 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,969 Uh... oh. 43 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,697 You saw that, right? 44 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,430 Alien Harry: I'm dead. 45 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,600 But if I'm dead, why do I feel so warm and squishy 46 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,894 like I'm being hugged by a cloud? 47 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,479 Oh, no. 48 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,523 This must be the afterlife. 49 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,191 I'm in human heaven. 50 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,735 It makes me want to kill myself. 51 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:16,655 I see the morphine is still working. 52 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,865 Alien Harry: What are you doing here? 53 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:23,662 Why does the afterlife look like a crappy cabin? 54 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,956 Are you dead too? 55 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,725 I didn't want to leave you alone 56 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,959 after what you'd been through. 57 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,963 Come on. You need to eat just so you can get your strength back. 58 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,049 Mmm. 59 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,974 Now I know why you have 17 gallons of milk in your fridge. 60 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,478 Okay, I need to change your dressing. 61 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,400 I think we should, you know, 62 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,860 try to avoid suspicion. 63 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,696 So I started looking into getting you a prosthetic. I know... 64 00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,574 What the freakin' hell is that? 65 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,284 That is my leg. 66 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,870 It's regenerating. 67 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,205 How is that even possible? 68 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:11,293 My people are descendants of octopuses. 69 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,295 Soon it will grow longer, 70 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:17,048 and then I will transform the molecules into human shape. 71 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,260 So you're telling me eventually that thing 72 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,595 will look like that one? 73 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:26,558 Yes. Except for the mole and the hangnail. 74 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,852 I chewed my toenail down too low. 75 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,648 You can go now. 76 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,109 Excuse me? 77 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,405 I stayed up all night. 78 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,407 I got supplies. I dressed your wounds. 79 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,409 I cleaned you up, and this is how you thank me? 80 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,994 I didn't ask you to stay. 81 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,287 Well, I did. 82 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,831 'Cause that's what humans do. 83 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,625 They take care of one another. 84 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,752 You know, when some... 85 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,314 I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously with that thing. 86 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,381 What is wrong with it? It's perfectly normal. 87 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,760 Jesus, can you just put a sock on it? 88 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,513 It likes the fresh air. 89 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:07,265 Also, it's not a thing. It is a leg. 90 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,017 You are leg-shaming me. 91 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,939 Be careful with that. 92 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,067 No. Please be careful. 93 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,945 Do not press the black button. 94 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:23,532 I'm not ready to radio my people yet. 95 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,325 This black button? 96 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,077 Asta. 97 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,331 Saythankyou. Thank you. 98 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,544 Oh! 99 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,420 Thank you. 100 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,137 You're welcome. 101 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,017 Please do not move. 102 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,186 I'm going to work, and I'll be back later. 103 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,896 Alien Harry: If all goes as planned, 104 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,274 there won't be a "later." 105 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,984 Yes. 106 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,403 Later. 107 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,586 Shit! 108 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,846 I knew it. 109 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,015 Why are you ignoring my calls? 110 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:35,228 Um, I'm sorry. I've just been so busy. 111 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,147 Ooh. 112 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,983 'Cause last night, you sent me inside to get help, 113 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,211 and when I came back out, you and Harry were gone, so... 114 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,195 Yeah, uh, sorry. Harry was in bad shape. 115 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,072 And I realized we didn't have an mri machine. 116 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,866 So I took him to the hospital in braddock. 117 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,119 What? 118 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,874 I know you too well. You're lying. 119 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,459 I am not. 120 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,962 Yeah, you are. You have a tell. 121 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,464 Oh, really? What's my tell? 122 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,799 Well, I can't tell you because then you'd know 123 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,402 what the tell is and you'd hide the tell from me, 124 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,820 and I wouldn't be able to tell. It's like... 125 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,971 Wow, you ever thought about working for the CIA? 126 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,015 Yeah, actually, I'm waiting to hear back. 127 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,266 Hey, asta. 128 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,227 The doctor had me call braddock to follow up on Harry's mri. 129 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,064 But they have no record of it. 130 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,443 That's a mistake. So I'll take care of it. Thank you. 131 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,031 Why is she staring at you like that? 132 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,992 What did you do? 133 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,470 Don't you have better things to do, Ellen? 134 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,120 Maybe unpack the shipment of catheters 135 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,413 that came in this morning? 136 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,165 Oh, right. The fun stuff. 137 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,463 Got my eye on you, twelvetrees. 138 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,268 Alien Harry: The power source is damaged. 139 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,896 Built to provide energy for 5, 000 years 140 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,815 but apparently not built to withstand 141 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,775 an unprotected fall into a crevasse. 142 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,112 Certain alien races implant tiny transmitters 143 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,656 into human beings to monitor their activity. 144 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,324 [H can find one of those, 145 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,119 I can reverse engineer it to reboot my device. 146 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,214 Aah! 147 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,340 Yeah. 148 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,885 I heard you fell down a crevasse. 149 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,762 Did you find your radio? 150 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:37,475 My radio is broken. I'm trying to fix it. 151 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,519 Well, maybe I can help. 152 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,980 Is this it? 153 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,189 Don't touch that. 154 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,235 You need... 155 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,445 _toleave. 156 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,780 At least you're okay. 157 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,451 If asta wasn't there, 158 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,161 I would be dead. 159 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,456 Except now she knows the truth about me. 160 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,665 You told her? 161 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,710 I thought this whole alien thing was just our secret. 162 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,004 It stopped being a secret 163 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,132 when you told your little friend over there 164 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,592 in the head covering. 165 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,510 She must have followed me. 166 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,554 Don't worry. She's not gonna tell anyone. 167 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,848 She swore to Allah. 168 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,767 Allah knows? 169 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,977 How many people have you told? 170 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,067 Are you trying to cut me out? 171 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,444 'Cause if it wasn't for me, you'd be in Georgia by now. 172 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,280 I made this truce happen. I want in. 173 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,782 You are so pushy. 174 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,661 Looks like aliens are also put off by strong women. 175 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,123 Get used to it. We're not going anywhere. 176 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,739 What are you hiding under there? 177 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,213 I covered it for a reason. 178 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,507 It's his radio so he can contact his people. 179 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,634 But it's broken. So he's trying to fix it. 180 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,512 Why can't you just go home on your spaceship? 181 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,434 They took it, didn't they? 182 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,311 How did you know that? 183 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,189 Must be the government. That means they're after you. 184 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,149 It could be any of the agencies. 185 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,777 But it's probably men in black. 186 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,654 It's a top-secret agency 187 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,532 that monitors alien activity on earth. 188 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,534 But they don't always wear black, 189 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,119 and they're not only men. 190 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,498 Then why do they call them "men in black"? 191 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,418 'Cause it's cooler than calling them "people in clothes." 192 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,963 It's pretty obvious. 193 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,506 I'm not worried. 194 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:36,094 Once I fix my radio, 195 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,847 they won't be a problem. 196 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,014 I'm just missing a part. 197 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,408 Have you tried the hardware store? 198 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,892 They have everything. 199 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,436 My dad even bought a pair of pajamas there. 200 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,566 Unless you know someone who has been in contact 201 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,984 with other aliens, then I'm... 202 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,485 What is the expression? 203 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,614 "Shit out of luck." 204 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,576 If you don't stop using that kind of language around us, 205 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,595 we're gonna have to wash your mouth out with soap. 206 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:02,912 Go ahead. I like soap. 207 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,622 I eat it all the time. 208 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,292 Shit, ass, piss, dink. 209 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,419 Where is the soap? I'm so hungry. 210 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,133 Wait, I know where you can go to find alien stuff. 211 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,646 Hey. Where are you going? 212 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:33,067 I need to go pick up a missing piece for my radio. 213 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,029 No. You are not driving with one leg. 214 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,489 Whoa! 215 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,117 Your leg grew back. 216 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,286 Just like I said itwould. 217 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,748 Now I have got to go. 218 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,544 Okay. Even as a pretend doctor, you have to know 219 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,397 that the medication still stays in your system. 220 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,132 I just took more. I'll be fine. 221 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,805 Which one is my truck? 222 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,933 Okay. 223 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,684 Give me these. 224 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,228 I will drive you. 225 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,855 Where are we going? 226 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,108 Wow. We're really gonna do this. 227 00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,740 Are they supposed to be me? 228 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,452 My people are not a costume. 229 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,497 Welcome to my life. 230 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,711 Oh, this is gonna be fun. 231 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,890 Kind of cool that I'm here with an actual alien. 232 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,725 I feel special. 233 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,311 You're not special. You're common. 234 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,188 That's oddly less offensive now 235 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,731 that I know you're from outer space. 236 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,652 Here you go. Thank you. 237 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:02,198 Okay. So what now? 238 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,746 Man: Our ancestors had teachers. 239 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:12,709 The engineering knowledge came from the extraterrestrials. 240 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,627 Finally, a little credit. 241 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,754 I like this high-haired gentleman. 242 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,382 He's told us not to blow it 243 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,260 'cause he knows it's all worthwhile 244 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,221 he told me, "let the children lose it..." 245 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,931 The moon landing was a sham. 246 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,892 It was all filmed on a sound stage by kubrick. 247 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,562 The astronauts did land on the moon. 248 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,855 Good. 249 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,858 And their bodies were taken over before they returned. 250 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:37,984 What? 251 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,070 Man 2: And we find evidence of this all around the world. 252 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,157 Mayans, everyone talks about their calendar, 253 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,993 but they never gave credit for their day planner. 254 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,954 We have the grays. Insidious assholes. 255 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,124 The arcturians. Jerks, so cheap. 256 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,250 Little green men. 257 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,837 They are cute, but they so know it. 258 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,089 The mantis. One of them owes me money. 259 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,925 And the blue avians. 260 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,095 They're actually very nice. 261 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,734 Well, don't you two look cozy? 262 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,987 Hello, sheriff. 263 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,782 Do you have anything you want to say to me? 264 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,659 Well, I don't know. 265 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,715 Do you have anything you want to say to me? 266 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,664 In that case, yes. 267 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,042 Have a good day. 268 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,669 Goodbye, Lewis. I'll see you on Thursday. 269 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,342 Thursday. 270 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,344 What's Thursday? 271 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,262 We're having lunch. 272 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,515 She's sitting here probably trash-talking me, 273 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,226 and you buying her lunch? I see how it is. 274 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,269 She didn't say anything. 275 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:59,190 In fact, she mostly listened. You could use that. 276 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:01,859 What is that supposed to mean? 277 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,113 Your relationship with Liv reminds me of me and your mom 278 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,614 before she up and left me. 279 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,783 You mean when she died? 280 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,159 I'll never forgive her for that. 281 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,371 Your mother was sharp. She always challenged me. 282 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,373 When I messed up, 283 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,999 she wouldn't let me off the hook 284 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,085 until I took steps to fix it. 285 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,963 You mightwant to think about that one. 286 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,383 Order me a burger. Be right back. 287 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,594 Hey, hey, hey. Dad, dad. 288 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,222 Hey, hey! It's okay to ask for help. 289 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,099 Look who's talking. 290 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,404 If you think what you got is enough 291 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,656 then god gonna call your bluff 292 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,284 you got a long road ahead 293 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,245 longer than you think 294 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,706 a long road ahead 295 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,676 Liv: Sam's toxicology results are in. 296 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,596 Botulinum toxin a levels are through the roof 297 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:12,847 Sam was poisoned. 298 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,767 Maybe with Insulin as the method of delivery, 299 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,271 all he or she would need to do is inject the toxin 300 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,024 into a single Insulin vial 301 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,568 and wait for Sam to use it. 302 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,158 Ooh... 303 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,993 Son of a bitch. 304 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,246 Wake up in the morning 305 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,831 rise and shine 306 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,878 wake up in the morning rise and shine 307 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,382 wake up in the morning rise and shine... 308 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,135 Hey, sheriff, have a seat. I'll be with you in about ten. 309 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,222 Yeah, well, I ain't here on grooming business. 310 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,516 I'm here on official sheriff's business. 311 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,309 I see you do Botox injections. 312 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,435 Yeah. 313 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,605 You'll need about 20 units for that furrowed brow. 314 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,440 Well, I got news for you. 315 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,651 I like to furrow, and I like the lines. 316 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,861 Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest 317 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,238 for the murder of Sam Hodges. 318 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,365 What? What are you talking about? 319 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,634 I'll tell you what I'm talking about. 320 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,298 You see, iwent through your phone records, 321 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,827 and I found repeated calls, 322 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,871 and I mean a shit ton of them, to one number. 323 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,581 You know who it belonged to? 324 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:21,707 Thomas Hoffman. 325 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,437 Okay, fine. We are casually seeing each other. 326 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,439 But are you gonna arrest me for having a social life? 327 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,506 Can't a widow move on? 328 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,025 Well, of course, a widow can move on. 329 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,759 The only problem is those calls, 330 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,178 they started way before Sam died. 331 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,865 You see, I think you wanted to get rid of Sam 332 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,729 'cause you was having an affair. That's motive. 333 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,476 Oh, nowjust hang on a second... 334 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,353 All you needed was high levels of botulism, 335 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,230 which you clearly had access to. 336 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,791 Then you took that poison, and you put it 337 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,775 in Sam's Insulin bottle. And then from there, 338 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,586 it was a ticking timebomb just waiting to go off. 339 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,754 No, just... and it finally did. 340 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,256 Turn around and put your hands behind your back. Sheriff. 341 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,490 Turn around. You have the right to remain silent. 342 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,014 Anything you say can and will be used 343 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,493 against you in a court of law. 344 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,953 You got the right to an attorney. 345 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,413 If you cannot afford an attorney, 346 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,873 I'd be surprised because this salon is bangin'. 347 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,419 Ooh, ooh 348 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,049 what is it you're looking for 349 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,176 at an alien experiencer panel? 350 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,637 I'll know when I see it. 351 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,941 Thank you. Hi, I'm Peter bach. 352 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,694 Most of you know me from my podcast 353 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,988 as "the alien tracker." 354 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,115 I have spent 15 years 355 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,951 working at the Carl sagan center at SETI. 356 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,078 I've been a government consultant. 357 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,748 And ifyou've read my books, you'll know I possess 358 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,667 a special skill set that makes aliens fear me. 359 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,712 And, of course, I had my own encounter, 360 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,131 which was, well, 361 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,176 terrifying to say the least. 362 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,219 So it's my honest belief 363 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,889 that aliens walk amongst us. 364 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,892 And my mission has become to find aliens, 365 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,477 to trap them, 366 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,854 and, well... 367 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:13,903 One shot of this... 368 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,198 10,000 volts, I can knock out an elephant. 369 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,452 You okay? Yes. 370 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,455 I'm not an elephant. 371 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,249 Peter: I also found that talking about my encounter 372 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,960 helped me feel a sense of control. 373 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,089 And I'd like you to think of this as a safe forum 374 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,423 where you can do the same. 375 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,967 So please, come on up 376 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,178 and share with the room 377 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,097 with no judgment, 378 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,820 so we can all hear about your experiences. 379 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,437 I was driving home late one night 380 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,065 when this blue light 381 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,234 beamed through the roof of my car. 382 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,486 I woke with these triangular cuts. 383 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,737 I was paralyzed. 384 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,615 And lesions on my stomach and across my back. 385 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,200 It was horrible. 386 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,704 It's etched on my brain forever. 387 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:10,292 They strapped me to this cold, hard metal surface. 388 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,836 They're monsters. And... 389 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,295 And they are here to kill us. 390 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,674 Took this long tubular rod 391 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:21,595 and they put it in my... 392 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,061 He was going to say his asshole. 393 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,272 Asta: One night, a few months ago, 394 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:34,024 my ex-husband and I were fighting, 395 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,027 which is sort of a usual thing for us. 396 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,741 I finally decided I'd had enough, 397 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,242 so I ran out, 398 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:47,538 but I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. 399 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,708 And then I saw it. 400 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:54,420 It was a fire in the sky, 401 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,757 like a guiding light. 402 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,093 It gave me strength. 403 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,430 Strength to move on and never look back. 404 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,142 Months later, I came into contact 405 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,520 with who I now know was the occupant of that ufo. 406 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,608 Something about him made me feel safe. 407 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,320 And not alone. 408 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,158 And I know that that's not what you all have experienced. 409 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,368 But trust me, 410 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,496 based on my encounter, 411 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,207 I don't think they're monsters. 412 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,795 I think some of them are hereto do good. 413 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,469 Alien Harry: Nope! 414 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,763 Ben: Wow. 415 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,057 Abigail Hodges. 416 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,100 Who would have thought? Heh. 417 00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:54,188 Well, congratulations on solving the case. You must be happy. 418 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,065 Yeah, well, you know, a man died. 419 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,959 So there really isn't very much to be happy about. 420 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,444 Of course. I just meant... 421 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:04,824 Well, you did use up a lot of resources dragging the lake. 422 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,867 Like, a tremendous amount, actually, 423 00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:09,620 that I'm still trying to justify to the town council. 424 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,748 Probably can't afford to have Patience family day 425 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,999 this year on the town green. 426 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,544 But hey, you got to the bottom it. 427 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,420 Uh-huh. That's what's important. 428 00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:20,664 Yeah, that's right. That's what's important. Thank you. 429 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:25,469 Okay. Yeah. 430 00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,649 Hello to you, Jay. What can I get for you? 431 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:41,026 We have a happy hour special on ipas. 432 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:45,364 Are you offering me a drink? I'm not even 18 yet. 433 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:50,953 I meant to offer you a juice in an opaque mug. 434 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,830 Well, actually, I just came in to ask 435 00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,874 if I could interview you for the school paper. 436 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:57,626 Everyone in town is talking about the rescue. 437 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:02,548 I'm so sick of people making a big deal about this. 438 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,550 You don't have to put me on a pedestal. 439 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,845 It won't take long, and I'm only doing it for the extra credit. 440 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,973 Oh, well, in that case... 441 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,061 Thanks. It's only a few questions. 442 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,523 Ask away. All right. 443 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,319 So, you were an olympic skier. 444 00:23:24,695 --> 00:23:29,074 What was it like to wipe out and lose in front of the whole world? 445 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:32,995 Not awesome. 446 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:36,874 Would you consider yourself a fallen hero 447 00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:38,834 because you were a hero and then you fell? 448 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,712 Hmm. Mmm. 449 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,799 Um, I don't know. I thought this interview 450 00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:48,886 was supposed to be about the rescue thing. 451 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,388 I'm establishing background. Cooi. 452 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,474 So what happened to your hand? 453 00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:56,727 Fractured it. First time I fell down the crevasse. 454 00:23:57,311 --> 00:23:58,604 You fell down a crevasse? 455 00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:01,690 Yeah. What did you think happened? 456 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,986 I don't know. I thought you were stuck on top of the mountain. 457 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:07,990 You climbed out with your hand looking like that? 458 00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:09,865 Vveh, yeah. Kind of had to. 459 00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:12,368 I was 30 feet down. 460 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:14,078 Asta and Harry were down even further. 461 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:17,039 I knew any rescue effort would have to wait until the storm had passed, 462 00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:20,209 at which point, it would be too late 463 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:23,170 as we would have all gone into hypothermia 464 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,380 and be dead. 465 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,632 Asta could have died? 466 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:31,428 Yeah. She could have. 467 00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:34,264 I mean, we all could have died, actually. 468 00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:37,017 We're pretty lucky. 469 00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,522 You know what, I, um, 470 00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,358 I think I'll take thatjuice in the opaque mug now. 471 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:49,071 You bitch. I almost lost you. 472 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,324 Ow. Oh. 473 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,452 Oh, I'm okay. 474 00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:57,871 Judy: Ijustfeel like... 475 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,309 You should probably, like, buy me a drink or something 'cause I'm like... ugh. 476 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,003 My nerves are like fried eggs. 477 00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:07,089 D'arcy: We're gonna do two sodas. 478 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,049 One with vodka. 479 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:13,053 When iwoke up, I had no idea where I was. 480 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,514 I mean, one minute, I was in bed, 481 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:18,475 and the next minute, I was lying in a ditch 482 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,185 by the side of the road. 483 00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:22,104 And they put something in me. 484 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,230 Look. 485 00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:28,027 I don't know why, but they're following me. 486 00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:30,154 They're listening. 487 00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:32,031 Look, you can see it. 488 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:39,163 Alien Harry: Alien technology. That's it. 489 00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:49,381 Hey, honey. Hi. 490 00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:54,595 Why do I smell fish? Because I made branzino. 491 00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:00,893 Tonight's supposed to be taco night. 492 00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:03,663 Does that mean that tacos are moving to tomorrow night? 493 00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:04,938 Because that's spaghetti. 494 00:26:05,022 --> 00:26:07,691 Will you relax, just try to get out of your comfort zone? 495 00:26:07,775 --> 00:26:08,817 Yeah, but... 496 00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:10,444 Max is at the movies with sahar. 497 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,780 So I invited a friend over with her husband. 498 00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,867 I want you to meet them. You're gonna love them. 499 00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:19,995 Yep. Maybe we could do fish tacos. 500 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,249 This is my husband, Ben. 501 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,418 Ben, this is Sarah and Richard Houston. 502 00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:28,212 Oh, come on. We're friends. 503 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,422 You can call him dick. 504 00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,216 Well, we're having fish. 505 00:26:35,719 --> 00:26:38,514 Peter: I want to thank you all for coming and for sharing. 506 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:39,681 Come down and visit me. 507 00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,600 We have a booth on the con floor. 508 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:44,478 A lot of cool merchandise. Thank you. 509 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,025 Excuse me. 510 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:52,111 Wait. Harry, where are you going? 511 00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:57,241 Man: Alien tracker, hold up. 512 00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:58,742 Woman: Alien tracker! 513 00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,369 Woman 2: Can I get an autograph? 514 00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:04,915 I'm sorry. Excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 515 00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:12,422 Woman: Yeah. You're welcome. 516 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,568 Uh, sorry. It's my turn. 517 00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,030 Do you mind? 518 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:39,741 I'm going to cut that alien technology out of your arm, 519 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,076 and then I'm going to leave. 520 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:45,164 Aah! What the hell? Shh. Quiet. 521 00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:48,917 Aah! It's not alien. It's a bb. 522 00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:51,628 A bb got lodged in my arm when I was a kid. What? 523 00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:53,797 Okay, I lied. What is wrong with you? 524 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,424 You're the one with the knife, 525 00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:57,718 you freakin' psycho. 526 00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:04,433 What the hell is going on? 527 00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:07,603 What are you looking for? And don't lie. 528 00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,062 I think I deserve at least that. 529 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,444 When the grays abduct a human, 530 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:18,488 they leave alien technology implanted on their body. 531 00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:21,450 It is a transmitter. 532 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:24,036 It is a way for them to track the victim. 533 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:26,330 I need to find one. 534 00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:29,124 Is that why we're here? 535 00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:32,461 So you can rip an implant out of some poor person's arm? 536 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:37,382 It's for my radio. The implant is made of an alien metal. 537 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:39,134 Ineedit 538 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,356 The alien tracker is after me. 539 00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:54,566 He can see me like Max. 540 00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:58,111 Asta: I don't understand. The rest is self-explanatory. 541 00:28:58,195 --> 00:29:00,781 His name is alien tracker. 542 00:29:00,948 --> 00:29:04,326 Maybe we should go then. Yes. 543 00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:07,931 Kate: Itwas, like... I mean, he designed the whole thing himself, 544 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,332 the whole thing. He made it all on his own. 545 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,667 Oh, I'm so sad. 546 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,310 I thought Max was gonna be here tonight. 547 00:29:13,377 --> 00:29:15,254 We're so looking forward to meeting him. 548 00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:16,672 Right, honey? 549 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,299 Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love kids. 550 00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:21,385 We want them, but the doctor said 551 00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,595 Sarah's probably too old. 552 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:27,474 I'm sorry. I'm sure that it will happen for you two. 553 00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:30,477 Meanwhile, enjoy the freedom, 'cause kids are a lot. 554 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,145 Mmm. 555 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:34,236 That's why it's so nice having some adult time. 556 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:35,983 Right, honey? 557 00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:40,487 Fun fact, more people die choking on branzino bones per year than heart disease. 558 00:29:42,197 --> 00:29:43,907 Honey, could you help me with dessert? 559 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:50,330 Sweetie, you haven't said two words all night. 560 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,750 I'm pulling all of the weight here. 561 00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:57,462 Well, I'm sorry. I think not having tacos has kind of thrown me off my game. 562 00:29:58,005 --> 00:29:59,089 Look, I'm trying. 563 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:02,217 You spent the last half hour playing medical examiner with your fish bones. 564 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:04,970 Well, if it makes you feel any better, I swallowed most of them. 565 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:06,972 Uh, it doesn't make me feel better. 566 00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:08,140 Okay. I feel terrible. 567 00:30:09,182 --> 00:30:12,311 I really like Sarah and dick. 568 00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:14,604 And it's nice to have couple friends who we can 569 00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:17,941 have over for dinner. Can you try? 570 00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:20,986 Okay. Look, I'll be more sociable. 571 00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:23,655 I'll talk to dick about candle making. 572 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:26,199 Yeah, sure. 573 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,869 Or something else. 574 00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,873 What? You don't... what? You don't like my candles? 575 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:37,669 No, I mean, of course I love them. 576 00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:39,504 It's just, 577 00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:42,716 it's not really exciting dinner conversation. 578 00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:44,092 Hmm. 579 00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:47,888 Not sure I want to live in that world, but okay. 580 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,140 Just leave the baby talk to me, okay? 581 00:30:50,223 --> 00:30:51,475 I'm the mother-to-be. 582 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:52,785 Well, that's not what the doctor said. 583 00:30:52,809 --> 00:30:55,062 Hey, listen, asshole. Just do your job. 584 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:56,438 Keep them engaged 585 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:58,361 so I can go on a little reconnaissance mission. 586 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,609 I did an Internet deep dive and found pictures of Ben 587 00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:03,278 making these shitty candles. Ask him about it. 588 00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:04,672 Kate: Hope everyone's in the mood for pie. 589 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,573 Lisa: Oh. Can't wait. 590 00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:08,950 May I use your powder room first? Of course. 591 00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:15,624 I have to say, these are really, really nice candles. 592 00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:17,709 What are they made of? Soy? 593 00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:19,461 Well, actually, there are... 594 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:22,464 Yeah, there are several different kinds of, um... 595 00:31:22,589 --> 00:31:25,092 Not sure. I don't know. 596 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:29,012 Just a regular store-bought candle. 597 00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:42,234 Mmm. 598 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:46,196 Okay, um, keep moving. I got this. 599 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:51,410 Oh, my god. You're the alien tracker. 600 00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:55,038 I have listened to every episode of your podcast. 601 00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:57,499 I was wondering if maybe I could get a selfie with you. 602 00:31:58,125 --> 00:32:02,921 And this crazy dude came in and tried to stab me with a scalpel. 603 00:32:03,213 --> 00:32:06,383 Why are you just staring at me? Are you gonna help me? 604 00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:07,843 Can we just go look for him? 605 00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:11,638 I'm not crazy. 606 00:32:12,848 --> 00:32:16,184 Hmm, hmm, hmm. Hey, can I help you? 607 00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:18,562 I need to hide. Can you leave? 608 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:20,230 What are you hiding from? 609 00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:24,067 The alien tracker. He's chasing me. 610 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:31,074 He thinks I'm an alien. 611 00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:34,703 Um... he's a crazy guy. 612 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:38,039 Well, I have no problem hiding aliens. 613 00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:40,459 Wait a minute. 614 00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,587 You are that hair guy, 615 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:45,755 the one who knows all about ancient monuments. 616 00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:48,633 Yeah, that's me. Would you like a signed copy? 617 00:32:51,011 --> 00:32:54,306 I would rather have flower-shaped fruit. 618 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,325 Hey, what are you doing up here? 619 00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:57,494 I know. I'm such a snoop, right? 620 00:33:57,577 --> 00:33:59,162 I just love your decorating style. 621 00:33:59,246 --> 00:34:01,286 I had to see what the rest of the house looked like. 622 00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:03,917 You could have asked for a tour. 623 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,049 I'll be honest with you. 624 00:34:12,425 --> 00:34:19,307 This whole "not being able to have kids" thing is really hard. 625 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:22,602 And I just wanted to see your son's room. 626 00:34:25,021 --> 00:34:26,565 I'm sorry. 627 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:27,857 Yeah. 628 00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:30,110 Just don't give up. 629 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:31,913 Women are having babies older and older now. 630 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:33,029 You just never know. 631 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,782 I'm actually not the problem. 632 00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:38,493 Dick only said that because he's so self-conscious. 633 00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:41,788 But he has very low motility. 634 00:34:41,997 --> 00:34:43,957 Look, if you want to get a taste for it, 635 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,750 you can babysit Max whenever you want. 636 00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:47,961 Oh, I would love that. 637 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:51,381 I'll take such good care of him. 638 00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:59,389 What's interesting is that the masonry style of delphi, cuzco, 639 00:34:59,472 --> 00:35:02,851 or sacsayhuaman are virtually identical, 640 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,729 and they're considered "navels of the world" 641 00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:08,106 where deities descended from the sky 642 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:11,526 and imparted knowledge to the local population. 643 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:15,405 So those places are on two opposite ends of the planet, 644 00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:17,782 and they have the same stories. 645 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:21,953 So you have to wonder if these people had been visited 646 00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:23,663 by the same beings. 647 00:35:23,747 --> 00:35:27,042 And if so, then you have to ask the question, 648 00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:30,003 "who were they and where did they come from?" 649 00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:34,883 You should be on television. Okay. 650 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:38,094 I have to go. I hope I didn't bore you. 651 00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:41,848 You're out of fruit flowers. 652 00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:43,683 I left you the honeydew melon. 653 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,478 They taste like old women's perfume. 654 00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:03,370 Kate doesn't love the whole candle thing? 655 00:36:03,453 --> 00:36:05,373 I accidentally spilled some wax on her head once. 656 00:36:05,455 --> 00:36:06,456 She lost some hair. 657 00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:07,791 Yeah. What are you gonna do? 658 00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:11,378 Yeah, I get it. You know, Sarah can get pretty particular 659 00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:12,754 about the things I do too. 660 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:13,922 Mmm-hmm. So yeah. 661 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:15,799 Very passionate, very passionate ladies. 662 00:36:15,882 --> 00:36:17,217 Oh, that's one word for it. 663 00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:24,099 Want to fire it up? Show you how it's done. 664 00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,351 Yes, yes. You sure? 665 00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:27,936 Please, yeah, yeah. Oh! Oh. 666 00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,312 Oh! 667 00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:30,647 Okay. 668 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:39,781 I just find it pretty relaxing. 669 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:41,116 Yeah. 670 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:44,411 Helps me cope with the pressures of being mayor, 671 00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:48,164 especially after the town doctor was murdered. 672 00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:53,128 That's horrible. Yeah, yeah. 673 00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:55,380 We did just make an arrest though. 674 00:36:55,463 --> 00:36:58,258 And it was the first murder in Patience 675 00:36:58,341 --> 00:37:00,385 since, like, the 1800s. 676 00:37:00,927 --> 00:37:03,263 I've always wanted to say, you know, 677 00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:06,725 "not on my watch, buddy." 678 00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:11,187 Butyeah, it was on my watch. 679 00:37:14,441 --> 00:37:17,402 Think I might have been across the street when it happened. 680 00:37:23,032 --> 00:37:25,034 Do you like pumpkin spice? 681 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,875 Mmm. That was close. 682 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:36,004 It's like everybody is talking about me like I'm some big hero... 683 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,339 Close to you... 684 00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:41,050 Except for the two people whose lives I actually saved 685 00:37:41,134 --> 00:37:44,804 that incidentally are both completely ignoring me. 686 00:37:46,014 --> 00:37:48,057 Close to you... 687 00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,226 I should be hanging out with my friend right now. 688 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:54,898 Bitch, I'm your friend. We're closer than you and asta. 689 00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:57,025 We shared a boyfriend in high school. 690 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,569 You mean the guy that you slept with behind my back? 691 00:37:59,652 --> 00:38:01,613 I grabbed his dick, and he was into it. 692 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:03,573 So what am I supposed to do, say "no"? 693 00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:04,824 Oh, yeah. Fair point. 694 00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,579 It just, like, bothers me I can't get a hold of them. 695 00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:11,080 I've been texting all day. 696 00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:13,583 I don't know. Maybe something happened to her. 697 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:16,836 Maybe they're not okay. I don't know. It's kind of freaking me out. 698 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,464 Yeah, probably something bad did happen to her. 699 00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:21,341 I don't know. She probably got kidnapped 700 00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:23,510 or something or, like, people are after her 701 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:26,095 and, like, she's in the back of a car, like, in a trunk, 702 00:38:26,179 --> 00:38:29,015 like, screaming and, like, pounding and, hke_. 703 00:38:29,098 --> 00:38:30,683 Or she could be dead. 704 00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:32,527 She could be dead in a ditch somewhere, like, 705 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:37,232 covered in blood and, like, intestines are, like, trailing out... 706 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,900 Is this supposed to help me feel better? 707 00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:41,986 Okay. So we're gonna switch gears over to karaoke. 708 00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:45,698 First up, we have our own Liv baker singing a song for us. 709 00:38:45,907 --> 00:38:47,450 Come on. 710 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:58,294 Oh, whoa 711 00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:05,051 it must have been cold there in my shadow 712 00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:13,601 to never have sunlight on your face 713 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:20,733 you were content to let me shine 714 00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:22,777 that's your way 715 00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:28,575 you always walked a step behind 716 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:36,249 So I was the one with all the glory 717 00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:37,834 what the hell is happening? 718 00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:44,507 While you were the one with all the strength 719 00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:53,308 a beautiful face without a name for so long 720 00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:59,564 a beautiful smile that hides the pain 721 00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:06,863 did you ever know that you're my hero? 722 00:40:09,198 --> 00:40:15,079 And everything I would like to be? 723 00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:23,296 I can fly higher than an eagle 724 00:40:25,048 --> 00:40:30,303 you are the wind beneath my wings 725 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:36,017 okay. 726 00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:44,525 Guess I'm deputy again. 727 00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:57,455 Oh, shit. 728 00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,251 I first learned the concept of two for one 729 00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:05,713 when there was a sale on day-old baguettes at the market. 730 00:41:11,344 --> 00:41:13,429 But having this alien tracker in my grips 731 00:41:13,513 --> 00:41:15,890 and discovering he was implanted with the very chip 732 00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:18,685 I need is even more exciting 733 00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:21,604 than getting an extra two-foot-long crouton. 734 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,648 Don't move. 735 00:41:23,856 --> 00:41:27,235 I'm taking that alien technology out of your neck. 736 00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:30,863 No, wait. Where is my baby? 737 00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:32,865 What baby? 738 00:41:32,949 --> 00:41:36,494 The one you took out of my wife 30 years ago on the bus. 739 00:41:36,577 --> 00:41:39,122 We don't do that. That's the grays. 740 00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,289 You're a gray. 741 00:41:40,373 --> 00:41:43,292 How dare you! Please don't take it out. 742 00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:46,295 It's the only way they can find me if they come back. 743 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:48,840 It's the only way I'll ever meet my son. 744 00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:52,260 They're not coming back for you. 745 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,763 They already got what they wanted. 746 00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:06,607 I recognize you. 747 00:42:06,691 --> 00:42:08,609 You were in that experiencer panel. 748 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:09,861 Mmm, yeah. 749 00:42:09,944 --> 00:42:11,696 I heard what you said up there. 750 00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:14,657 It was very touching. But you should be careful. 751 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,994 What do you mean? For all you know, 752 00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:21,497 your alien is a Christopher Columbus of the sky. 753 00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:14,592 Let's go. I got what I needed. 754 00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:16,385 Well, that makes me nervous. 755 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:18,262 Don't worry. I didn't hurt him. 756 00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:21,974 He was on his knees, thanking me. 757 00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:25,686 You're a monster. You're welcome. 758 00:43:28,356 --> 00:43:30,191 Alien Harry: There are no monsters. 759 00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:34,278 Beings do what needs to be done in order to survive. 760 00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:50,002 Asta! 761 00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:53,881 No bye, no aloha... 762 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,843 Are you in there? 763 00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:02,890 Gone with a rock promoter 764 00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:11,899 A rock promoter... 765 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,485 Aah! 766 00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:16,112 Ow, shit! 767 00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:20,324 And now may die 768 00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:29,500 oh, the treats 769 00:44:34,046 --> 00:44:35,840 saw it on the wall 770 00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:38,676 "motherhood means mental freeze" 771 00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,389 freezeheads 772 00:44:44,891 --> 00:44:47,602 no aloha 773 00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:53,357 I know, I saw 774 00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:55,860 and now may die 53153

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