All language subtitles for Resident.Alien.S01E02.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG[eztv.re]

Narrator: Previously on
resident alien...

Alien Harry:
My mission was simple.

Drop my device onto their
planet and head back home.

I had no intentions of getting
close to any of them.

In order to complete my mission,

I would have to somehow fit in
with the human life forms.

Dr. Harry vanderspeigle, we
had a murder in town last night.

We need you to come down
and take a look at the body.

Harry: Sam Hodges was poisoned.

He tried to give himself
a tracheotomy.

There is a killer out there.
We still need your help.

Alien Harry:
In a town of 1,000 people...

There is a
kid who can see my true form.

You're just different.
I know what that feels like.

Sometimes just feeling human
is alien to me.

Alien Harry: Maybe there's
something redeemable

about the human race after all.

Unfortunately for them,
when I find my device,

I will finally complete my
mission and kill them all.

Alien Harry: All beings
of the universe are different.

For instance,
my people are brilliant.

Humans, on the other hand,
are so dumb

that they think the leading
cause of death is heart disease.

It's not. It's almond milk.

Even the grey aliens
won't touch the stuff

despite their differences, there is
one truth that connects all beings.

Life doesn't ever go as planned.

What the hell?

Help! Somebody!

Help me! Help!

Somebody!

Help!

Alien Harry: Finding an object the size
of a suitcase in the Colorado mountains

is like looking
for a needle in a haystack.

I've been searching for my
device every day for months.

[Haven't found it yet,

but after searching
a half dozen mountains,

I finally found the haystack.

And that's all that matters.

Well, that and being on time
for my first day at work.

Max. Max.

He went out the window.

Of course he did.

What the hell happened in here?

The kid went nuts. What? Why?

I have no idea.

I'm going to cut your head off.

I think he has emotional issues.

Well, we need to get
this place cleaned up.

There hasn't been
a doctor on duty in days,

and we have a bunch
of patients coming in.

Well, don't just stand there.
Okay.

Kate: Max, hey.
Ben: Count of three, bud.

You are getting filthy under
there. Listen to your mother, Max.

He's just looking for my wallet.

He's a good kid.
We're good parents.

The alien from my bedroom,
he's in there. He's the new doctor.

Okay. Max, I saw the new doctor.

He didn't look
like an alien to me.

He's already gotten
inside your brain.

Come on, buddy.
You're as good as dead.

Let's go. You are going back in
there, and you are letting that doctor

take a look at your sore throat.

And while I'm in there, you
can buy a four-foot coffin.

Okay, look, that's enough.

I cannot hear about
this alien stuff anymore.

Look, he can come to work
with me and lie on the couch.

If his throat doesn't feel
better, I'll bring him back, okay?

Oh, now you want to die, too.

Make that three coffins.

I'm serious. If he keeps this
up, we're getting rid of him.

Sounds good.

Oh, vanilla. Thank god.
You I will keep. Love you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing with these?

Look, do I need to remind you
that this side is the mayor's office

and that side
is the sheriff's office?

We got a murder to solve.

I got to make room
over there for murder stuff.

Yeah, well, there's no room
for those boxes in here, so...

Well, the laws of physics
would tend to disagree

with you since there they are.

Sheriff, I'd like
to file a murder complaint.

I know who killed Sam Hodges.
Uh... what are you talking about?

Is that so? All right.

Sure. Have a seat.

Go ahead and lay it on me,
little deputy.

It's the new doctor.
He's an alien.

Okay, on that note,
I'm gonna need everyone out.

Uh, kid's a little delusional
with a fever.

Maybe no talking for a day,
huh? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

An alien? What you mean?

Like, he ain't got
a green card or something?

No, like alien-alien
from outer space.

Outer... and shoot me.

What the hell are you teaching
this kid, huh?

You know I could lock you up for lying
to an officer of the law? That is a crime.

You're committing crime.
Got a sick kid, okay?

Gonna need everyone out.
Got a sick kid.

Just_ yeah, he's sick all right.

Let me ask you something.
You got hbo in your house?

Here's what I want you to do.

I want you to watch oz season 1,

then come back and tell me
if you want to go to prison.

Talking about some alien shit.

I'MMA go get me some
more boxes. Uh... no.

I really wish that you
wouldn't do that, sheriff.

Okay, okay.

Hey, I know the sheriff can
seem kind of mean sometimes,

but he's just a Teddy bear.

With severe control
and anger issues.

But he didn't believe me

when I told him about the alien.

Nobody does.

Well, uh, look. Maybe he
didn't believe you

because he can't see
the alien, right?

It's probably putting up
some kind of mind shield

that only you can see through
because you're special.

Yeah, that makes sense.

One of my skills as a deputy
is to work as a sketch artist.

So, if you describe the alien to
me, I could draw a picture of him.

Great. Then I can
get the word out.

Okay, start with his eyes.
They're, like, alien shape.

And then he has these scales going back,
like, blue scales with little circles.

Liv: Ooh, okay.

Alien Harry: Human doctors have
to go through years of medical school

to perform a procedure as
simple as burning off a wart.

I was a scientist on my
planet, so this is easy for me.

All I need is the Internet, and
I can graduate in five minutes.

Okay.

Let's take a look
at that nasty thing. Hmm.

You're not a 12-year-old boy
with a wart.

Mmm, not a 12-year-old boy.

Ah, yes. Harry, sorry.
This is Judy.

She's in need of a pelvic exam.

We had to move her up
from tomorrow. Oh. Okay.

Pelvic exam.

So, big guy, you into sports?

No. But I am into putting
my pants back on

before the breeze
dries out the lettuce.

Yeah, Harry, she doesn't have
all day. I'll be right back.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Okay, I see your problem.
You sat on an earring.

No. That's
supposed to be there. Sorry.

Here we go. Let's just get into
this. Mmm-hmm. Oh, yes, examining.

Uh, yes.

Oh!

Did you just take a picture?

It was a selfie.

My first day.

Huh.

Alien Harry:
The day didn't get any better.

Well, it appears that
you are in excellent health.

Concerning your breath, did
you recently eat a dead rodent?

You should be more careful next
time. Your parents don't have insurance.

So, if you get hurt again,

they'll probably lose their home

and have to live
outside on the street.

She just found a lump
in her breast.

Why don't you try to be a
little more calming this time?

I know what I'm doing.

I see you found a lump
in your breast. Yes.

I'm glad that you came in

and that you've been
so diligent with your health.

As you know, self-examination
along with appropriate screenings

can greatly increase
your odds of early detection,

so I don't want you to worry.

Many women find lumps
in their breasts all the time,

and most of them
are nothing, okay?

Okay. Harry: Good.

Now let's get a look
at that tit.

Alien Harry: I discovered that
the woman does not have cancer.

I also discovered that "tit" is
not the preferred term for breast.

Asta: Hey. Hi.

Uh, Harry, this is my
father, Dan. Harry's a doctor.

He's been helping us
out at the clinic. Hello.

Sorry. He doesn't like doctors.

Dad, what are you doing?

I have a bad feeling. There's
something wrong with that man.

Oh, my god. Are you kidding me?

You have a bad feeling about
every man within 10 feet of me.

I don't have a bad feeling
about him. That's the problem.

What are you talking about?

When I look at him,
I feel nothing at all.

Alien Harry: Asta's
large father does not like me.

Can he somehow tell
I am different from them?

This day cannot get any worse.

Shit.

Oh! Mmm.

Alien Harry: This kid is a
menace. He just won't give up.

Where was that effort
from the humans

when we were helping them
build stonehenge?

A bunch of idiots just sitting around
drinking mead, making us do all the work.

Lazy druids. I can't leave.

I'm too close to finding my device,
and I'm not turning into someone else.

It took me weeks to figure out
how to get this body to work.

Man: Life
was short and life was sweet

I was thinking
as I hit the street

I could hardly believe
I could scarcely conceive

but I had gone out the window
I had gone out the window

I had gone out the window

catch me we are falling

Catch me we are falling

I have to be smart.

I can't just kill this kid. It
will draw too much attention.

Hello?

Hi. Is Max there?

Kate: Who's this?
I'm a friend of his from school.

My name is Elvis.

Yeah, okay.
Max, friend from school.

Hello?

I saw your poster on the street.

Yeah?

And I saw that alien
on a bus leaving town,

so you don't have to worry
about him anymore.

Are you sure it was him?

Yes. He was very handsome,
like a young Jerry orbach.

Who? Wait a minute.
I don't know you from school.

You're right.

I'm a post office man.

I'm good with my eyes, and I
saw that alien, and he's gone.

If you're a man,
why do you have a kid's voice?

Tricycle accident.

Max: Uh-huh.

If you work at the post office,
how much does a stamp cost?

$100. I knew it.

You're him. $1,000.

I know it's you. And guess
what, alien. You can't kill me.

My parents know you're after me,

and if I die,
they'll know you did it.

And you're dumb. Stamps are,
like, 30 bucks each, stupid.

Don't
call me stupid, you little shit.

S-h-i-t is a bad word, stupid.

That's it.
I'm going to kill him.

What do you want?

Alien Harry: Ldidn't know
babies had a laugh button.

There you are, sweetheart.

Harry, this is my cousin Kayla,

and this cute
little guy is sage.

Hi. How are you?

Okay, I'm gonna see
you this weekend. Okay.

Bye. Mwah! Let's go.

Oh. Um, Jay, didn't you have something
you wanted to say to Dr. Vanderspeigle?

Ms. Twelvetrees wanted me to
apologize for calling you a douchebag.

And I apologize that your
birthmark looks like a bug.

Douchebag.
Yeah, glad we cleared that up.

Okay, Harry,
this is your temporary office.

Can you please grab Harry's things
and set him up in the nurse's office?

I don't want anyone
in Sam's office. Sure.

How are you, you know,
with Sam's death?

Okay. I'm fine.

Um, when I was your age, I didn't have
anyone I could talk to when I was sad,

so if you ever need someone...

I said I'm fine.

Okay.

Why couldn't you talk
when you were sad?

Oh. No, I could talk.
I just, um, moved out.

My father and I didn't
get along very well.

Why did you move back?

I guess I missed home.

Alien Harry: Home.

You know what I just realized?
I don't know anything about you.

Where are you from?

I'm hungry.

Okay.

Alien Harry: This human form
is confusing to me.

I am often struck with
a sharp emptiness inside me.

I eat food, but the emptiness
doesn't go away.

Well, hello there.

Oh, you are the woman that I danced
with. That's right. You remember.

I'm d'arcy, by the way.

Excuse me. I just want...
What? We don't have Wi-Fi.

I just wanted a napkin.
Oh, fancy man wants a napkin.

It looks like you're wearing
a napkin, so maybe use that.

Get out of here. Go away.

Do you want me
to get you anything?

I was hungry, but now that I
am here, for some reason, I'm not.

Sounds like stress.
I'm a big stress eater.

I ate a whole bag of doritos
the other day. Family size.

Maybe you want some of this
local whiskey that you love.

No. No.

The last time I drank that,
I tried to kill someone.

Really?

Well, was that your first
murder, or is that something you do a lot?

Wasn't the first,
won't be the last.

Okay, wow. So are you, like,
a knife guy or...

I like to use my hands.

Me, too, except
not for murder as much.

But, anyway, ifyou're gonna
go around killing people,

you should at least
make it look like an accident,

'cause if you get arrested, you
can't take me bowling tomorrow night.

Alien Harry:
When I kill that kid Max,

I can make it look
like an accident.

Then I won't get caught.

That's a great idea.

Great. Yeah, it's a date.

I've never gone bowling with a
murderer before. It's been a goal.

What is bowling?

I'm glad my husband and son
are here with me in my home.

It makes me fulfilled.
I am your husband.

This cookie is delightful. I'm
here, too. I'm a younger person.

Let me turn on
the cooking stove.

It's funny. All I hear
is a hissing noise.

I hope that smell in the air
isn't propane gas.

Alien Harry: Mmm! Explosion is a
good option. It looks like an accident.

So, uh...

It is nice talking to someone
who cares. You know?

And I love that you're
writing things down.

You know, Sam, he didn't
really ever take notes.

Well, no one cares more
about people than I do.

Sam gave good advice, but
he wasn't, um, exactly qualified.

This town is lucky you started
your career as a clinical psychologist.

Lucky for me, too. So lucky.

It's just all this stress
has a bit of a tendency

to just build up. Mmm-hmm.

Sometimes I think about
being a kid again.

It just makes me feel good.

It's better being a kid.
Sometimes.

So, uh...

Why do you like thinking
about being a child, hmm?

Things were simpler.
Uh, had no worries, I guess.

You know, when I think about
it, I get this pit in my stomach.

Describe this pit. Is it like
you're hungry all the time?

Kind of, but it's not that.

I, uh...

I just feel empty.

Asta: You cannot be in here.

Is it true what I'm hearing?
You think my Sam was poisoned?

Sorry. I tried to stop her.
You can't be here.

I can't talk to you right now.

I am busy with the mayor
doing psychological therapy.

Isn't this
supposed to be private?

He's telling me he's a man baby.

I didn't say, uh...
Abigail: It's fine.

I'll wait, and I'm going
to get his things.

No, you're not. I'm sorry.
Sorry, Ben.

Mmm.

Tell me more about this
hole in your stomach.

Um, well, it's...

One second.

You have no right taking Sam's
things. Well, they're my things now.

Can you be quiet?
I am trying to be a doctor.

This is Sam's office. He just
died, and it's a crime scene.

Nobody comes in here.
What is this?

I was hungry and wanted
a quiet place to eat.

This is Sam's chicken
from the refrigerator.

He is not going to eat it.
God, Harry.

No, leave it. Stop it.

You cannot...
I am not leaving it.

You have no right to come
in here and take everything.

These are my things now,
and I'm taking them home.

Alien Harry: Pathetic humans.

Letting their emotions
dictate their behavior.

These two are distraught
by something as small

as a loved one
being poisoned to death.

I wonder if I can get that
chicken while they're fighting.

I need to know what you're doing
about the investigation into Sam's murder.

I'm sorry. Do I come
up to you on the street and ask you

what you're doing about
Mr. Dougan's catheter?

Abigail is at the clinic right now taking
all of Sam's stuff out of his office.

Isn't that evidence?
You know, she's the wife.

Maybe she killed him. Maybe
you killed him. How about that?

Say that again, and you'll be
wearing that hat inside your ass.

What the hell
are you doing here?

I like watching her
when she's angry.

We looked into Abigail,
and she has an alibi.

She's got a rock-solid alibi.

She wasn't even in town
the night that he died.

And I already took care
of Sam's office.

I got prints. I got
photographs. I got everything.

You need to stay in your Lane.
The bike Lane.

Oh, wow! How long did it
take you to think of that?

That's what I said.
That's so clever.

Alien Harry: I can read the emotions
on their faces. Sadness masking as anger.

Weakness masking as superiority.

This one's like a pet rabbit that you yell
at so much, its hair starts to fall out.

My people don't have stupid
emotions to get in our way.

All we need is food
to fuel our body.

That's easy. You can
find food almost anywhere.

Man: Tiny bubbles

I'm in human form now, and
I'm feeling that pit in my stomach.

Is it possible that when I took
on the human molecular structure,

I somehow was infected
with their emotions?

Or is it just hunger?

Never mind. It's just hunger.

Hello again, Mrs. Cow.

Till the end of time

I'm sorry. I'm leaving.
It was consensual.

Man: Every day, every night

it's all you, it's all you

it's all right

every day, every night

it's all you, it's all you

it's all right, it's all right

every day, every night

I was beginning to think
you weren't gonna show up.

Octopuses also change
their color.

Oh, yeah.

I was gonna stop with
just the hair, though, so...

Excited to bowl?

Let's get some shoes. Mmm-hmm.

D'arcy: Ugh.

So we meet again.

Do I know you?

Yeah. You had your hand
inside me the other day.

Ah, narrow it down, Judy.
Uh, eat a dick, d'arcy.

I'd have to pry it out
of your cold, dead hands.

You're a 12. How did you know?

Oh, 'cause d'arcy
only dates size 125.

Real classy, skank. Whore.

Are you going to
cookman's bonfire on Saturday?

Yeah, I'll be there.

Yeah. D'arcy: Nice.

See you.

Well, well, well.
Look who came into my house.

You live here.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I
do. I league it up with my boys.

Okay, shouldn't you be
out solving crime?

Yeah, the only crime in Patience
tonight is gonna be this double homicide

when I murder you both with
my superior bowling skills.

Let me show you how it's done.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!

You hear that? That there's
the sound of inevitability.

X marks the spot.

Let's see what you got. Come on.

Okay. Okay.
All right, all right.

All right, not bad.

Okay, let's see what the good
doctor's got. You up, doc.

Go, Harry.

Let's see what you got,
Dr. Harry vanderspeigle.

You got this. Knock them down.

Alien Harry: This is easy.
I've got this. It's all just math.

If I can land a spacecraft on an
asteroid traveling 50,000 miles an hour,

I can roll a ball on some wood.

Oh, god damn it. Ow, shit.

That's a strike.
Ain't no damn strike.

That's assault
with a deadly weapon.

You know, I could arrest
your ass for that,

but I don't want to embarrass
you for all this wayward bowling.

Ow! Shit.

He's fine.

You know, he was wrong.
I never feel embarrassment.

Wow, that's cool. Well, I do.

When I was at Stratton,
I had this recurring dream.

You know, I was running naked
through the hallways. It wasn't a dream.

Ambien. That's embarrassing.

You've lived here a longtime.

I have a question
that doesn't mean anything.

When does the snow melt
on the mountain?

Ooh, itwould depend
on the weather.

It's spring, so if we get a
good rain, it'll be gone in a week.

A week?

Yeah. That's very soon.

Do you want to go hell-skiing?

It's rad. No, don't go up there.

What? You're a skier?

Yeah. Well, I used to ski,
like, a lot.

I wanted to go
to the Olympics, so...

Finished second in the worlds,
and then 2006, I went to Torino.

And then this happens.
How did you do that?

Well, it was my second
mogul run. I heard my knee pop.

It was before the jump,
and I couldn't stop,

and I landed, and I heard
a bunch of bones crack.

I had a tib-fib compound
fracture.

They said I could have lost
my leg or even died.

Whew, fun day.

Couldn't stop. Yeah.

Almost died. Yeah.

That's great.

Sort of have a new perspective.

I've got to go.
We're not done eating.

That's where it usually ends.

Aw, another date night
just you and a hot dog?

Actually, I have two.

You could have one for each
hand just like in high school.

I learned that trick from you.

Ho bag. All right, slut.

Want to bowl? Yeah.

Let's do it.

Alien Harry: The kid has to ride his
bike down this hill on the way to school.

Without brakes,
he'll never survive.

It's a good feeling to know I
am the smartest person on earth.

Woman: Get out of the street,
you idiot.

Sorry.

I liked Sam, but he was always,

"don't eat this. Don't eat that.

"Your diet's gonna kill you."

Well, what you eat is important.

I don't agree with that. Oh, no?

No. There are 10 things on here
that are going to kill him sooner

than eating bad food does.

Harry. No, I want to hear.

Sam never mentioned that.
Tell me when.

No.

Look, I just turned 80. You
can give it to me straight.

How long do you think I have?

Do you like Christmas?
Yes, very much.

Celebrate it before June.
Oh, okay.

Patient: Oh.

But between now and Christmas?

You can eat anything you want.

I like you.

This is the first time that a
doctor's been totally honest with me.

This town is very lucky to
have a doctor as good as you.

Yes, you are lucky.

Uh, you certainly have
a particular style.

That's impressive.
He doesn't like anyone.

Ben hawthorne's here.
There's been an accident.

An accident? Nurse: Yeah.

Hello, mayor hawthorne.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Uh, what loss?

This little guy fell
on his bike in the driveway.

I, um, think
he's gonna need stitches.

Okay. Comeon

stitches? Stitches? That's it?
Don't sound so disappointed, weirdo.

It's okay, buddy.

I'll be here right next
to you the whole time, okay?

You're, like, 600 feet away.

Yeah, well, I don't want
to get in the doctor's way.

See? Just stay strong,
okay, pal?

Harry: Thank you, nurse.

I hear you had a little
bike accident this morning.

Very little.

Your son is very shy.

You can look at me, Max.
I don't bite.

Actually, I do.

You're lucky your brakes failed on
the driveway and not on the main road.

This should have been
a lot worse.

How did you know
it was my brakes?

I just assumed.

We get a lot of failed-brake
accidents, all kinds.

Cars, wheelchairs, boats.

Can we hurry this up?

That smell of gauze is just
something else.

Luckily, we have novocaine
for good boys.

I can numb this up,
and you won't feel a thing.

So tell me, Max, are you
going to be a good boy?

Of course.

No. Never.

Well, then I have my answer.

Let's put in
a couple of stitches.

Go right ahead.

- Ben: How is it, Max?
- It's fine.

Is there a mosquito in here?

'Cause I think I just got
a tiny bite on my arm.

This is deeper than I thought.
We might need three stitches.

How about five?

Well, I guess that's it.
Max: Really?

I didn't feel anything.
Ben: Good for you.

I did. Okay, let's go. Yes, yes.

Remember, ifyou're not careful,

something horrible
can happen to you.

Oh, don't worry.
I can take care of myself.

By the way, your shoe's untied.

Made you look, you dummy.

Wait. I... look. It is untied.

Ha-ha!

I know Sam and you were close.

There are things
you can do that will help you.

You could cut your hair
to honor the deceased.

I can handle it.

Maybe you should start
letting me live my own life.

Worrying about every man I meet,

making me dinner every night...

I'm not 16 anymore.

Mmm.

Okay. The dinner part is nice.

If you were 16, you wouldn't
even be here. You'd be in Denver.

Oh!

Good one. Now that I live at home,
you're gonna start being my father?

Well, you never stopped
being my daughter.

I hope you're this upset
whenltfle. Jesus, dad.

Female singer:
There's gotta be some hope

there's gotta be some hope

there's gotta be some way

for you to send your dogs away

and to leave the land alone

It's gotta be a crime

somewhere in your heart,
you'll find

we 're fighting for our right

to keep the future bright

and protect the ones we love

In the river is our sisters
and our brothers

we are camping out
for each other

Did you burn your scrubs
from the other night?

You know you should. No.

You've got to release
Sam's spirit from this world.

Otherwise, he'll linger. I know.

Female singer:
I've been thinking about you

Shut up.

Been thinking about you, ooh

I've been taking my time
with you

been taking my time with you

but falling quickly too

and sometimes howl lose my mind

when I am feeling fine

since I have been with you

was 14 straight into 1,013

hey Sam: Hey

Mrs. Mcgill has a crush on you.

It's not a crush.

She's 90 and comes in every
week because she's a hypochondriac.

Uh-huh? Hey.

A little gin rummy?

I'm gonna have to take a
rain check. Big day tomorrow.

But I'll beat you next time.
You wish.

There's no one sitting there.

Dan's not my real father.

My mom left when I was one.

Dan took me in, and he raised
me. He gave me everything.

But I never really
felt like I fit in.

Sam was the only one I
could talk to about all that.

I never should have left
that night he died.

I was tired.
I just wanted to go home.

He was always there for me. I
should have been there for him.

He was poisoned.

You couldn't have helped him.
Maybe.

At least he wouldn't
have died alone.

Do you want to play a card game?

Yeah.

Thanks. Okay. I'll put
my stuff in my office.

This is your office now.

Alien Harry: I did not want to
play cards, but I knew asta wanted to.

She was sad. I could feel it.

I should not be able to feel an
emotion that is inside somebody else.

Tellurium.

I know that they are all connected
by these feelings, these emotions.

Feelings of devotion.

Sadness.

Love.

In Greek mythology, there
exists this legend of ambrosia.

Alien Harry: Maybe I am
more connected to them now.

I had an emptiness that no amount
of potato chips or hot dogs would cure,

but when I found the
tellurium, the ache went away.

It wasn't coming from my stomach.
It was coming from my heart.

Human emotions
are growing inside of me.

I think the one I feel now
they call "lonely."

In the same way asta misses Sam
Hodges, I miss my planet, my people.

But having found the tellurium, I
can finally heal my broken heart,

because once I detonate my device
and fry every human being on earth,

I can fly home.

Now I just need to find my
device without being discovered.