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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:03,091 Joseph. 2 00:02:03,258 --> 00:02:06,220 Joseph, I hear something out in the living room. 3 00:02:06,386 --> 00:02:08,347 It's nothing. 4 00:02:10,182 --> 00:02:12,017 Joseph. 5 00:02:17,272 --> 00:02:19,566 Wait here. 6 00:02:39,086 --> 00:02:42,339 Joseph, this is it? 7 00:02:42,506 --> 00:02:45,467 This is the best that the Witness Protection Program could do? 8 00:02:45,676 --> 00:02:48,220 An apartment? A tiny apartment? 9 00:02:48,428 --> 00:02:51,098 Hell, my cell was bigger than this place. 10 00:02:51,515 --> 00:02:53,350 Hey, Leonard. 11 00:02:56,228 --> 00:02:58,981 I didn't wanna testify. 12 00:03:01,984 --> 00:03:03,610 You cut a stupid deal, Joseph. 13 00:03:03,819 --> 00:03:06,780 You thought I wouldn't find you? Thought I'd rot in jail... 14 00:03:06,989 --> 00:03:08,407 ...and never look for you? 15 00:03:08,574 --> 00:03:11,243 You have to believe me. I had no choice. 16 00:03:11,577 --> 00:03:13,203 I do believe you. 17 00:03:13,412 --> 00:03:15,706 I bet you feel just awful about it. 18 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,544 Sending your best friend and partner to jail. 19 00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:24,673 I bet the memory of that has been haunting you for years. 20 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,552 I know it's helped me come to grips with the reality of your suicide. 21 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,554 Suicide? 22 00:03:33,015 --> 00:03:34,391 That's the way I heard it. 23 00:03:34,558 --> 00:03:37,686 Got stinking drunk three days before Christmas... 24 00:03:37,895 --> 00:03:39,688 ...and fell over his balcony. 25 00:03:47,571 --> 00:03:49,156 Three years, Joseph. 26 00:03:49,364 --> 00:03:53,952 Three years I've been waiting to catch up with you. Three years. 27 00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:06,006 Hey, I think I hear Santa Claus outside. 28 00:04:06,173 --> 00:04:08,342 You wanna go on the balcony and take a look? 29 00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,844 No! 30 00:04:11,929 --> 00:04:13,305 No! 31 00:04:26,985 --> 00:04:28,904 Married? You've got a kid? 32 00:04:31,031 --> 00:04:32,449 Where are they? 33 00:04:32,616 --> 00:04:34,451 Toss this thrash, I'll be back. 34 00:04:52,094 --> 00:04:54,346 Please don't cry. 35 00:04:57,975 --> 00:04:59,518 Season's greetings! 36 00:06:08,253 --> 00:06:10,047 Sorry. 37 00:07:14,403 --> 00:07:16,655 I don't need it. Oh, forget it. 38 00:07:18,907 --> 00:07:20,742 This is a legit thing. Come on. 39 00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:23,912 Santa's hotline, North Pole. 40 00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:27,249 Well, hello, little girl. What's your name? 41 00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:30,419 Santa's hotline, can I help you? 42 00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:34,256 A train set, sure. 43 00:07:34,423 --> 00:07:36,091 Santa's hotline, North Pole, hello. 44 00:07:39,928 --> 00:07:43,724 North Pole, Santa speaking. 45 00:07:43,891 --> 00:07:46,977 Sure I'm sure this is Santa Claus. Who's this? 46 00:07:47,144 --> 00:07:50,355 Ingrid. And how old are you, Ingrid? 47 00:07:50,522 --> 00:07:53,400 Twenty-three, really? 48 00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:56,695 So tell me, Ingrid. You been good? 49 00:07:56,862 --> 00:07:58,947 You've been good a lot? 50 00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:01,283 You ever been great, Ingrid? 51 00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:03,535 Would you like to be? 52 00:08:04,328 --> 00:08:07,706 Are you kidding? Why do you think Santa's always so jolly? 53 00:08:07,915 --> 00:08:10,542 Gotta go. Head elf walked in. She doesn't look happy. 54 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,879 You got it. Three days from tonight. I'll be in red. Morning. 55 00:08:14,087 --> 00:08:18,091 - You got that right. - Shot in the dark. You're not happy. 56 00:08:19,259 --> 00:08:21,720 - Would you tell me what is going on. - Going on? 57 00:08:21,929 --> 00:08:24,848 Going on in our outer office. Going on in your inner office. 58 00:08:25,015 --> 00:08:29,061 The phone is ringing and people are answering "North Pole." Why? 59 00:08:29,269 --> 00:08:32,105 If they didn't, no one believes Santy Claus lived here. 60 00:08:32,314 --> 00:08:33,899 - I see. - You do? 61 00:08:34,107 --> 00:08:36,944 No, I just wanted to say that to see how it would feel. 62 00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:39,446 - It doesn't feel any different. - Excuse me. 63 00:08:40,113 --> 00:08:43,450 North Pole, Santa speaking. 64 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:45,994 - No problem. He wants to speak to you. - To me? 65 00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:50,290 Hello. 66 00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:53,502 No, this is not Mrs. Claus. 67 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:55,587 What are you doing? Are you still there? 68 00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:57,172 She didn't mean it. 69 00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,884 Well, I hope you're happy. 70 00:09:01,093 --> 00:09:03,554 David, would you please tell me what is going on? 71 00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:05,597 - Santa's hotline. - Santa's what line? 72 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,766 Santa's hotline. 73 00:09:07,933 --> 00:09:10,060 Maddie, look out there. What do you see? 74 00:09:10,269 --> 00:09:12,479 Ever notice you answer my questions with questions? 75 00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,231 I do? 76 00:09:14,398 --> 00:09:16,191 I see a world starving for hope. 77 00:09:16,358 --> 00:09:19,361 A world starving for fantasy. A world starving for joy. 78 00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:21,738 - How about you? - I ate before I came in. 79 00:09:21,905 --> 00:09:24,074 Don't know if you noticed, but you just did it. 80 00:09:24,241 --> 00:09:26,785 - What's that? - Answered a question with a question. 81 00:09:26,994 --> 00:09:28,495 I did? 82 00:09:29,079 --> 00:09:30,789 - Where was I? - Everyone was starving. 83 00:09:30,956 --> 00:09:33,584 Ahh, yes! Now, I don't know if you believe this about me... 84 00:09:33,792 --> 00:09:35,878 ...but I take all this pain and suffering very personally. 85 00:09:36,086 --> 00:09:38,005 - I'll bet you do. - Many's the night, I sat up thinking. 86 00:09:38,213 --> 00:09:40,382 - Imagine sitting and thinking. - And then last night, it hit me. 87 00:09:40,591 --> 00:09:43,093 - Left a bruise, I hope. - Who is the one beacon of hope... 88 00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:45,721 ...of fantasy, of joy still left out there in the world!?! 89 00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:49,308 - Steven Spielberg? - Santy Claus! 90 00:09:49,516 --> 00:09:51,685 - Oh, yeah? - But all is not well at the North Pole. 91 00:09:51,894 --> 00:09:53,437 - No, huh? - No, Maddie, you see... 92 00:09:53,604 --> 00:09:57,024 ...we're living in an age of state-of-the-art technology. 93 00:09:57,191 --> 00:09:58,734 - Is that bad? - For Kriss Kringle. 94 00:09:58,901 --> 00:10:00,235 - Do tell. - All right, I will. 95 00:10:00,402 --> 00:10:01,737 - You're a child. - Watch it. 96 00:10:01,904 --> 00:10:04,323 You wanna tell Santa what you want. What do you do? 97 00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:06,742 - Write a letter. - You haven't been around kids. 98 00:10:06,909 --> 00:10:08,785 - Nobody writes anymore. - They don't? 99 00:10:08,994 --> 00:10:10,787 No. They're busy studying for SATs... 100 00:10:10,954 --> 00:10:13,373 ...applying for credit cards, going through detox. 101 00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:16,293 - Joys of childhood. - That's where the hotline comes in. 102 00:10:16,502 --> 00:10:19,546 By dialing our 900 number, children from all over the world... 103 00:10:19,713 --> 00:10:22,925 ...can converse with old Saint Nick or an appointed helper... 104 00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:26,553 ...for the low price of $ 1.75 a minute, plus the cost of the toll call. 105 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,182 Prices may vary outside the continental United States. You like? 106 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:31,725 - I hate. - Think about it. 107 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:34,895 When you've sunk as low as you can, you find a basement door. 108 00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:36,939 Check me here, but you seem disturbed. 109 00:10:37,147 --> 00:10:39,900 You have the morals of a rabbit, the brain of a platypus. 110 00:10:40,108 --> 00:10:43,111 - You're making me- - How can you profit from Christmas? 111 00:10:43,278 --> 00:10:45,280 You call the phone company, I placed an ad. 112 00:10:45,447 --> 00:10:47,533 Had it cranked in an hour and a half. 113 00:10:47,699 --> 00:10:50,244 I just wanna scrape you off the bottom of my shoe. 114 00:10:51,829 --> 00:10:55,582 Hey, wait a minute. You're not fooling me. I know what that means. 115 00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:01,964 - Did you hear a baby? - Did you hear a baby? 116 00:11:03,799 --> 00:11:05,551 Did you hear a baby? 117 00:11:08,178 --> 00:11:09,972 Where did it sound like it came from? 118 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,933 I'm not sure. Where did it sound like it came from to you? 119 00:11:20,774 --> 00:11:23,986 Santa's hotline ho-ho-ho. We're here to listen so-so-so. 120 00:11:24,194 --> 00:11:26,196 Tell me what you want. Tell me what you like. 121 00:11:26,363 --> 00:11:27,906 A new baby doll. A shiny new bike. 122 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,534 Just tell me what it is. I'll tell you-know-who. 123 00:11:30,701 --> 00:11:32,995 And if you've been good, he'll bring it to you. 124 00:11:37,916 --> 00:11:41,295 What baby? I don't hear a baby. 125 00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:46,216 Thanks, kid. 126 00:11:46,383 --> 00:11:50,929 Just for that, you're not gonna get anything this year. 127 00:11:57,519 --> 00:12:00,606 I think I need to talk to someone about a maternity leave. 128 00:12:11,241 --> 00:12:13,827 So you just walked in and there he was? 129 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:17,539 Yeah, right on top of the delicates and fine fabrics. 130 00:12:17,748 --> 00:12:20,918 - It's clear what we have to do. - Why? Do you smell something? 131 00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:23,962 - No. We have to call the police. - Why? What's the kid done? 132 00:12:24,129 --> 00:12:26,924 - Police? - That baby belongs to someone... 133 00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:29,927 ...and someone is probably worried sick about where he is. 134 00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:33,597 Oh, yeah. 135 00:12:33,764 --> 00:12:36,767 - Right. - But on the other hand... 136 00:12:36,975 --> 00:12:40,729 ...it may be that whoever left this baby knew exactly what they were doing... 137 00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:42,815 ...and who they were leaving it with. 138 00:12:43,941 --> 00:12:45,484 Thanks, Mr. Addison. 139 00:12:46,235 --> 00:12:48,862 May I speak to you outside, please. 140 00:12:55,285 --> 00:12:57,287 - What are you doing? - What do you wanna do? 141 00:12:57,454 --> 00:13:00,624 I mean her. She has no business keeping that baby and you know it. 142 00:13:00,791 --> 00:13:03,001 - I don't know anything. - Put that in writing. 143 00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:06,672 - Call the police, what happens? - They'll return that baby to its mother. 144 00:13:06,839 --> 00:13:07,965 If there is a mother. 145 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,259 If the mother isn't 14 and just abandoned it. 146 00:13:10,425 --> 00:13:13,053 If the mother can be found or if she is interested in- 147 00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,013 - What is your point? - It's Christmas. 148 00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:17,182 - So? - So? 149 00:13:17,349 --> 00:13:19,476 Did you see the look in old Agnes' eyes? 150 00:13:19,643 --> 00:13:21,645 They were pointing the same way for once. 151 00:13:21,812 --> 00:13:23,730 - Please. - Maddie. Given a choice... 152 00:13:23,939 --> 00:13:25,941 ...where would you have that baby? 153 00:13:26,108 --> 00:13:29,528 In some cold, sterile institution or under the loving eyes of Agnes? 154 00:13:29,736 --> 00:13:32,573 - I'm calling the police. - Fine. Don't say you found a baby. 155 00:13:32,781 --> 00:13:34,825 What would you have me tell them? 156 00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:38,996 - Ask them if they're looking for one. - And if they say no? 157 00:13:39,204 --> 00:13:41,582 DiPesto watches the baby while we find the mother. 158 00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:44,418 Find the mother? And how are we gonna do that? 159 00:13:45,252 --> 00:13:48,630 We're detectives, remember? We go to Agnes' house and look for clues. 160 00:13:48,797 --> 00:13:51,341 What about DiPesto? What does she know about babies? 161 00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:54,052 - There's a first time for everything. - It costs money. 162 00:13:54,219 --> 00:13:56,472 - Give her a raise. - She has a tiny apartment. 163 00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:58,807 So they could stay at your place. 164 00:13:58,974 --> 00:14:00,893 They can what? 165 00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:11,320 - Cute kid, huh? - Excuse me. 166 00:14:11,528 --> 00:14:13,697 That baby, he's cute, huh? 167 00:14:13,906 --> 00:14:15,616 Yeah, sure, I suppose. 168 00:14:16,992 --> 00:14:20,537 "Yeah, sure, you suppose"? What's the matter? 169 00:14:20,746 --> 00:14:22,080 What makes you think that? 170 00:14:22,289 --> 00:14:23,790 I don't know. 171 00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:26,793 You didn't make much of a fuss about that baby, that's all. 172 00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:29,379 That doesn't mean something's the matter. David... 173 00:14:29,546 --> 00:14:31,423 ...I don't make a fuss over children. 174 00:14:31,632 --> 00:14:32,674 - Really? - Really. 175 00:14:32,841 --> 00:14:33,884 - Yeah? - Yeah. 176 00:14:39,515 --> 00:14:41,475 - I'm just really surprised. - About what? 177 00:14:41,683 --> 00:14:43,352 - About your attitude. - About what? 178 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,104 - About children. - How can you be surprised when... 179 00:14:46,271 --> 00:14:49,733 - ...you don't know what my attitude is? - Well, it's pretty obvious. 180 00:14:49,942 --> 00:14:51,443 - Pretty obvious? - Obvious. 181 00:14:51,652 --> 00:14:53,320 - I don't wanna talk. - You don't? 182 00:14:53,487 --> 00:14:56,406 - I don't. - You don't, you don't. 183 00:14:56,573 --> 00:14:57,616 - Fine. - Fine. 184 00:14:57,783 --> 00:14:59,868 - Good. - Good. 185 00:15:05,415 --> 00:15:07,793 - Now I wanna say something here. - How unusual. 186 00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:10,796 - It might sound a little out of line. - Hard to believe. 187 00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,173 I think you'd make a hell of a mother. 188 00:15:19,805 --> 00:15:22,975 - Thank you. - I mean, I know it's not my place... 189 00:15:23,142 --> 00:15:24,935 ...but I just have this instinct. 190 00:15:25,144 --> 00:15:27,354 It doesn't matter. We'll probably never know. 191 00:15:27,563 --> 00:15:31,233 - What do you mean? - What do you mean, what do I mean? 192 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,527 David, look at my life. I live alone. 193 00:15:34,319 --> 00:15:36,864 I'm trying to make a business work. I'm not- 194 00:15:37,072 --> 00:15:38,448 - You happy? - Happy? 195 00:15:38,657 --> 00:15:41,618 I mean, if you wanted to have a child- 196 00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:43,412 - But I don't. - But if you did. 197 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:45,747 But I don't! What?! 198 00:15:46,874 --> 00:15:48,750 I would help. 199 00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:54,756 - You would, huh? - What are friends for? 200 00:15:54,965 --> 00:15:58,552 - That's not the kind of help I need. - That's not the kind of help I meant. 201 00:15:58,969 --> 00:16:00,762 I mean... 202 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:05,225 ...that if you met somebody and you wanted a baby, I would help. 203 00:16:05,392 --> 00:16:08,437 I'd hold the fort down at the office if you wanted to stay home. 204 00:16:08,645 --> 00:16:10,856 What? You wouldn't have the baby for me? 205 00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:12,774 - Hey, I wish I could. - You do, huh? 206 00:16:12,983 --> 00:16:14,943 - I would if I could. - Sure you would. 207 00:16:15,152 --> 00:16:17,029 - I would. - Yeah, right. 208 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,447 - I mean it. - Sure. 209 00:16:18,655 --> 00:16:20,491 - You don't believe me? - No. 210 00:16:20,699 --> 00:16:22,034 - Why not? - Because. 211 00:16:22,201 --> 00:16:24,661 That's just one of those things men say to women... 212 00:16:24,828 --> 00:16:27,164 ...because they know it will never happen. 213 00:16:27,372 --> 00:16:29,124 Well, I mean it. 214 00:16:29,791 --> 00:16:32,503 - If you change your mind... - You'll have the baby for me? 215 00:16:32,711 --> 00:16:35,964 - ...I'll give it my best shot. - What a guy. 216 00:16:38,091 --> 00:16:39,676 See if I can find the key here. 217 00:16:39,843 --> 00:16:41,845 You folks live here? 218 00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:44,765 Reuben King. How are you today, Mr. And Mrs. -? 219 00:16:44,932 --> 00:16:46,642 DiPesto, 723. 220 00:16:46,809 --> 00:16:48,185 Department of Justice? 221 00:16:48,393 --> 00:16:51,230 We're investigating a mishap that occurred here yesterday. 222 00:16:51,438 --> 00:16:53,649 We're asking if anyone saw or heard anything. 223 00:16:53,857 --> 00:16:57,486 I wonder if I might ask you folks to follow me up to 316. 224 00:17:01,156 --> 00:17:04,409 Saul? Guys? Company. 225 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,915 - This is the DiPesto family from 723. - Saul King. 226 00:17:10,082 --> 00:17:11,416 - Jim King. - And your name? 227 00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:12,835 - Reuben King. - Three Kings. 228 00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,921 - That's right. - Two aces, you win. The King family. 229 00:17:16,088 --> 00:17:18,048 Mr. King. 230 00:17:18,215 --> 00:17:20,008 This Mr. King... 231 00:17:20,175 --> 00:17:22,469 ...said something about a mishap last night? 232 00:17:23,053 --> 00:17:24,972 - Do you know the Goodmans? - The Goodmans? 233 00:17:25,139 --> 00:17:29,184 They lived here. Mr. Goodman had too much to drink, fell off his balcony. 234 00:17:29,393 --> 00:17:31,603 - How horrible. - Why do you care... 235 00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:33,856 ...about a guy swan-diving off his terrace? 236 00:17:34,064 --> 00:17:36,984 Well, Mr. Goodman was in our Witness Protection Program. 237 00:17:37,192 --> 00:17:39,987 He testified several years ago on a racketeering case... 238 00:17:40,154 --> 00:17:43,073 ...and in exchange, we provided him with a new identity. 239 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,742 We just wanna be sure there's been no foul play. 240 00:17:45,951 --> 00:17:48,453 - You think there was? - Well, nobody's been able... 241 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,914 ...to find Mrs. Goodman or the baby. 242 00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:55,377 - The baby? - There was a 6-month-old boy. 243 00:17:55,878 --> 00:17:58,255 Nobody's seen either of them since last night. 244 00:17:58,422 --> 00:17:59,965 You don't know anything, do you? 245 00:18:00,174 --> 00:18:01,508 - Us? - Dumb and dumber? 246 00:18:01,675 --> 00:18:04,261 - We don't know a thing. - Wait a minute, who's dumber? 247 00:18:06,805 --> 00:18:09,183 That baby's mother isn't coming back, is she? 248 00:18:09,391 --> 00:18:12,269 Not if she showed her husband that shortcut to the street. 249 00:18:12,478 --> 00:18:14,229 - I knew it. - You knew what? 250 00:18:14,438 --> 00:18:17,691 - I should've called the police. - What difference would it have made? 251 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,568 What difference would it have made? 252 00:18:19,735 --> 00:18:23,071 What difference would it have made? Don't you see what's gonna happen? 253 00:18:23,238 --> 00:18:25,616 Tomorrow this story is gonna be on the news: 254 00:18:25,991 --> 00:18:28,744 "Husband murdered. Mother and child sought." 255 00:18:28,952 --> 00:18:31,705 The child is at my house, David. That makes me something. 256 00:18:31,872 --> 00:18:34,666 - An accomplice or something. - It makes you a nice person. 257 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:36,460 Something you go to jail for. 258 00:18:36,668 --> 00:18:39,546 - You think so, huh? - Yes, I think so, huh. 259 00:18:39,713 --> 00:18:42,216 Why am I talking to you? Talking to you got me... 260 00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:46,053 ...in this trouble in the first place. Just drop me off at my house. 261 00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:49,973 I'll tell DiPesto what happened, then call the police. That's all I can do. 262 00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:51,934 I mean, I have no choice. 263 00:18:52,643 --> 00:18:55,229 Would you consider waiting until the morning? 264 00:18:55,437 --> 00:18:58,398 - What? - Morning. Come on, morning. 265 00:18:58,565 --> 00:19:01,360 Begins a day, precedes the afternoon, becomes Electra. 266 00:19:01,568 --> 00:19:03,737 No, it cannot wait until tomorrow morning. 267 00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:06,824 Right. 268 00:19:08,951 --> 00:19:12,329 - All right. What does the "right" mean? - Nothing. 269 00:19:12,496 --> 00:19:15,249 Clearly it means something. I wanna know what it meant. 270 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,417 The right was for me. It wasn't for you. 271 00:19:17,626 --> 00:19:20,754 - I'd like to know what it meant. - Well, I'm not telling you. 272 00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:22,589 - You're not? - No, I'm not. 273 00:19:22,798 --> 00:19:25,050 - It's awful, isn't it? - I'm not telling you. 274 00:19:25,259 --> 00:19:28,720 Whatever that "right" was, it must be pretty awful. 275 00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:29,972 Drop it. 276 00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,932 - Fine. Good. - Fine. Good. 277 00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:33,267 - Give me a hint. - Maddie. 278 00:19:33,475 --> 00:19:36,603 I wanna know what it meant. I deserve to know what it meant. 279 00:19:36,812 --> 00:19:38,605 I heard it and it was about me. 280 00:19:38,814 --> 00:19:40,399 I'll tell you what it meant. 281 00:19:40,566 --> 00:19:43,569 You are not waiting until tomorrow morning to tell her. 282 00:19:43,735 --> 00:19:45,904 That would give her an evening with that baby. 283 00:19:46,113 --> 00:19:48,699 And you can't give her an evening with that baby. 284 00:19:48,907 --> 00:19:51,535 That would make you crazier than you already are. 285 00:19:51,743 --> 00:19:53,704 - That's a lie. - Right. 286 00:19:53,912 --> 00:19:55,664 Stop that! 287 00:19:57,833 --> 00:20:01,795 Why would I begrudge DiPesto a night of pleasure with that baby? 288 00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:08,844 Well, you're wrong. 289 00:20:09,011 --> 00:20:11,013 I'm turning that baby over to the police... 290 00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:15,559 ...because that is the best thing to do for all concerned and that's that. 291 00:20:24,693 --> 00:20:26,695 Ms. DiPesto. 292 00:20:44,004 --> 00:20:46,924 I hope you don't mind my plugging it in. 293 00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:49,134 It was getting dark. 294 00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,139 It's a beautiful tree. 295 00:20:54,348 --> 00:20:57,684 You live alone, you don't bother to get a big tree. 296 00:20:58,477 --> 00:21:00,521 Oh, yeah, that's right. You live alone too. 297 00:21:01,897 --> 00:21:04,733 He's beautiful, isn't he? 298 00:21:09,655 --> 00:21:11,907 Christmas and children. 299 00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:16,995 They make up for a lot of the bad stuff. 300 00:21:17,913 --> 00:21:19,581 Sure do. 301 00:21:20,874 --> 00:21:24,419 - So, what did you find out? - About what? 302 00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:29,216 About his mother and his father. 303 00:21:29,383 --> 00:21:30,843 About where he comes from. 304 00:21:31,051 --> 00:21:32,803 His mother and his father? 305 00:21:33,011 --> 00:21:35,806 I thought about what you said and you're right. 306 00:21:35,973 --> 00:21:39,810 A little boy should be with his mother and his father on Christmas. 307 00:21:44,189 --> 00:21:47,401 I'm sure going to enjoy him while I have him, though. 308 00:21:50,028 --> 00:21:53,115 He is something, isn't he? 309 00:21:53,866 --> 00:21:55,200 Wanna share him with me? 310 00:21:55,409 --> 00:21:58,120 - Share him with you? - Share him with me. 311 00:22:00,289 --> 00:22:01,874 It's Christmastime. 312 00:22:21,852 --> 00:22:24,438 Share him with you, huh? 313 00:22:29,151 --> 00:22:32,488 There's nothing better in the whole world... 314 00:22:32,654 --> 00:22:35,908 ...than spending Christmas Eve... 315 00:22:36,074 --> 00:22:38,202 ...under a tree... 316 00:22:39,661 --> 00:22:41,663 ...with a baby... 317 00:22:41,830 --> 00:22:43,457 ...waiting for Santa Claus. 318 00:22:45,459 --> 00:22:47,628 So, what did you find out? 319 00:22:47,795 --> 00:22:49,755 Find out? 320 00:22:52,049 --> 00:22:54,092 Well... 321 00:22:54,676 --> 00:22:57,346 ...I didn't find out a thing. 322 00:22:58,514 --> 00:23:00,349 Really? 323 00:23:01,725 --> 00:23:05,395 - That's too bad. - Yeah, isn't it? 324 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:12,027 Merry Christmas, Ms. Hayes. 325 00:23:12,236 --> 00:23:14,613 Merry Christmas, Ms. DiPesto. 326 00:23:21,954 --> 00:23:23,288 What I figured was... 327 00:23:23,455 --> 00:23:26,416 ...we could go by the baby store on the way to the office. 328 00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:29,002 Sounds good to me. 329 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,173 - You know what, Ms. Hayes? - What, Ms. DiPesto? 330 00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:36,802 There's no one I'd rather have children with than you. 331 00:23:46,395 --> 00:23:50,607 - Agnes? - I'll just be a minute. 332 00:23:54,278 --> 00:23:56,572 We'll sit down here. 333 00:24:21,221 --> 00:24:23,765 - What? - A valentine? 334 00:24:23,974 --> 00:24:26,268 I didn't mean to frighten you. 335 00:24:27,394 --> 00:24:30,105 Saw you and your friend come through with this bambino... 336 00:24:30,814 --> 00:24:33,650 ...and a man died in this building a couple of nights ago. 337 00:24:33,817 --> 00:24:36,612 - An investigation's going on. - Are you an investigator? 338 00:24:36,778 --> 00:24:40,365 - Looking for a mother and her baby. - I know all about it. Do you always... 339 00:24:40,532 --> 00:24:42,951 ...walk into other people's apartments unannounced? 340 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,661 Not always, no. 341 00:24:44,828 --> 00:24:48,373 Gee, no toys, no crib. Where does the little guy bunk? 342 00:24:48,540 --> 00:24:50,751 The baby doesn't live here and neither do I. 343 00:24:50,918 --> 00:24:53,086 - Now would you please leave? - Is it your baby? 344 00:24:53,253 --> 00:24:55,422 I got the feeling it wasn't your baby. 345 00:24:55,589 --> 00:24:59,092 - I think you'd better go. - Can I ask your friend some questions? 346 00:24:59,301 --> 00:25:01,929 - My friend is in the shower. - Drip-dry suit. 347 00:25:02,137 --> 00:25:03,889 If you don't leave I'll- I'll- 348 00:25:04,097 --> 00:25:08,227 The mind reels. Look, let's understand something. 349 00:25:08,393 --> 00:25:10,562 I'm watching you and I'm watching that baby... 350 00:25:10,729 --> 00:25:13,482 ...because where that baby is, the mother is going to be. 351 00:25:13,690 --> 00:25:15,943 And I'm going to find her. 352 00:25:19,446 --> 00:25:22,199 And to all, a good night. 353 00:25:39,383 --> 00:25:41,760 No, little baby, I don't mean you. 354 00:25:41,927 --> 00:25:44,972 - You better hurry up and get changed. - Is something the matter? 355 00:25:45,848 --> 00:25:48,308 I don't understand. If there's an investigation... 356 00:25:48,475 --> 00:25:51,478 ...and he's an investigator, maybe we should give him the baby. 357 00:25:51,645 --> 00:25:54,106 I'm not sure he's an investigator. 358 00:25:55,107 --> 00:25:57,317 Wait a second, you mean his mother is a killer? 359 00:25:57,484 --> 00:26:00,320 - That's what these investigators think. - How awful. 360 00:26:00,487 --> 00:26:02,656 I hope that kind of thing's not hereditary. 361 00:26:02,823 --> 00:26:05,367 Better make sure there's no guns or knives around. 362 00:26:05,576 --> 00:26:07,828 Well, look in the back seat of the car! 363 00:26:07,995 --> 00:26:10,205 There you are. I've been trying to find you. 364 00:26:10,372 --> 00:26:12,166 - Please. - Didn't turn in the rug rat? 365 00:26:12,332 --> 00:26:14,209 - Change of heart. - Change of everything. 366 00:26:14,376 --> 00:26:16,920 You change some diapers and your disposition changes. 367 00:26:17,087 --> 00:26:19,131 - Where are you taking me? - My office. 368 00:26:19,298 --> 00:26:22,968 Somebody I want you to meet. Hang on to your suspension of disbelief. 369 00:26:23,177 --> 00:26:27,139 Maddie, I'd like you to meet Mary. 370 00:26:28,474 --> 00:26:29,808 - Hello? - Hello. 371 00:26:29,975 --> 00:26:33,187 Forgive the way I look, but I haven't changed or bathed... 372 00:26:33,353 --> 00:26:36,773 ...for several days. I've been on the run with no place to stay. 373 00:26:36,982 --> 00:26:40,861 I've been trying to find a hotel room, but it's Christmas... 374 00:26:41,028 --> 00:26:43,864 ...and, well, there are no rooms in any of the inns. 375 00:26:45,532 --> 00:26:48,660 - You hear that? No room at the inns. - So? 376 00:26:48,827 --> 00:26:51,705 So? A woman named Mary, a baby, three kings? 377 00:26:51,872 --> 00:26:53,332 - I'm worried. - About what? 378 00:26:53,499 --> 00:26:55,709 - I think we're trapped in an allegory. - A what? 379 00:26:55,876 --> 00:26:57,544 We got everything but the camel. 380 00:26:57,753 --> 00:27:01,089 - Anybody care for a smoke? - That's it. 381 00:27:01,256 --> 00:27:03,675 What is it we can do for you? 382 00:27:04,092 --> 00:27:06,345 I'm looking for a woman named DiPesto. 383 00:27:06,512 --> 00:27:09,306 I left something with her and I need to pick it up now. 384 00:27:09,681 --> 00:27:12,351 - Can I-? - See you outside? Sure. 385 00:27:12,518 --> 00:27:14,978 My manger's your manger. 386 00:27:16,855 --> 00:27:18,732 - You know what something is? - Something? 387 00:27:18,899 --> 00:27:21,401 - With DiPesto. You know what that is? - I can guess. 388 00:27:21,568 --> 00:27:23,987 I'm not giving that baby to a suspected murderer. 389 00:27:24,154 --> 00:27:26,532 - Suspected, Maddie, suspected. - My mind's made up. 390 00:27:26,698 --> 00:27:28,992 Shouldn't you listen to her? What are you doing? 391 00:27:29,159 --> 00:27:31,578 - What I should have done. - What I should have done. 392 00:27:31,745 --> 00:27:34,373 - What I should've done last night. - Last night. 393 00:27:34,540 --> 00:27:35,874 - Stop that! - Stop that! 394 00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:38,168 - I'm calling the police. - The police. 395 00:27:39,753 --> 00:27:42,172 - Hello, police? - Hello, police? 396 00:27:42,339 --> 00:27:44,967 - I hate you! - You love me. 397 00:27:51,348 --> 00:27:53,225 The something you left with Ms. DiPesto? 398 00:27:53,433 --> 00:27:56,311 - You know all about it, don't you? - Well, yes. 399 00:27:56,728 --> 00:27:58,397 It wasn't easy for me to do. 400 00:27:58,605 --> 00:28:01,191 - Murder never is. - Excuse me? 401 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,861 - Murder. I said, murder never is. - Murder? 402 00:28:04,069 --> 00:28:06,196 - Murder. - I wasn't talking about murder. 403 00:28:06,405 --> 00:28:07,990 - She wasn't. - You weren't? 404 00:28:08,157 --> 00:28:11,076 - Then what were you talking about? - Leaving Andrew. 405 00:28:11,285 --> 00:28:12,452 - Andrew? - Andrew. 406 00:28:12,661 --> 00:28:15,456 - Andrew. - Andrew? My God. 407 00:28:15,664 --> 00:28:18,375 - Is something the matter? - No, just me. 408 00:28:18,542 --> 00:28:21,795 Then your husband really did get drunk and fall off that balcony? 409 00:28:22,004 --> 00:28:26,300 My husband was thrown over that balcony by a man. 410 00:28:26,467 --> 00:28:29,261 A man that my husband testified against. 411 00:28:30,888 --> 00:28:32,723 He didn't know I was there. 412 00:28:33,265 --> 00:28:34,975 You saw the whole thing? 413 00:28:45,527 --> 00:28:49,114 So I ran, but Andrew started crying. 414 00:28:49,323 --> 00:28:50,908 This apartment door was open. 415 00:28:51,116 --> 00:28:53,160 I knew I couldn't stay there... 416 00:28:53,327 --> 00:28:56,955 ...but I'd seen the lady who lived there around the building. 417 00:28:57,122 --> 00:28:59,792 She seemed sweet and kind. 418 00:29:00,167 --> 00:29:01,502 She is. 419 00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:05,005 I'd never been without my son before. 420 00:29:05,714 --> 00:29:10,302 I spent that whole night worrying about him, thinking about him. 421 00:29:10,469 --> 00:29:13,180 I knew this DiPesto woman worked for you. 422 00:29:13,639 --> 00:29:16,058 I spent the night in your hall last night. 423 00:29:16,225 --> 00:29:19,394 I was waiting at the door when this man came in this morning. 424 00:29:21,021 --> 00:29:23,565 Is there any way I can see this Ms. DiPesto... 425 00:29:23,732 --> 00:29:26,401 ...and make sure that my son's all right? 426 00:29:27,027 --> 00:29:28,862 David. 427 00:29:29,029 --> 00:29:31,573 Sounds like the call of the hall. 428 00:29:33,784 --> 00:29:35,118 Andrew, huh? 429 00:29:40,999 --> 00:29:42,793 That poor woman. 430 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,380 - You mean the murderer? - So, what do we do now? 431 00:29:47,297 --> 00:29:50,259 Here's a thought. What if we call the police? 432 00:29:50,425 --> 00:29:52,261 Not to arrest her. To protect her. 433 00:29:52,427 --> 00:29:55,097 - And Andrew. - And Andrew. 434 00:29:56,306 --> 00:30:00,269 Boy, I'm not looking forward to this. 435 00:30:00,435 --> 00:30:04,439 - You want some company? - Yes. No. 436 00:30:04,606 --> 00:30:06,900 But thank you. 437 00:30:18,745 --> 00:30:21,290 Okay, so now the priest, the rabbi and the minister... 438 00:30:21,457 --> 00:30:23,167 ...are all playing golf, right? 439 00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:25,544 Hang on a second, Mary. 440 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,422 - Madelyn? - David, he's gone. 441 00:30:28,589 --> 00:30:32,217 - Gone? - Andrew and DiPesto, they've vanished. 442 00:30:32,384 --> 00:30:35,220 Mary, later on the joke, babe. 443 00:30:39,391 --> 00:30:41,643 Ms. DiPesto? 444 00:30:43,937 --> 00:30:46,607 - Ms. DiPesto. - Ms. DiPesto? 445 00:30:55,699 --> 00:30:58,619 "Get us some lettuce. Grab us some steak. 446 00:30:58,785 --> 00:31:01,789 Remember the cheese please, and a box of Frosted Flakes." 447 00:31:01,955 --> 00:31:04,374 - She's not here. She's not anywhere. - You're wrong. 448 00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:07,669 - She's definitely somewhere. - This is terrible. This is awful. 449 00:31:07,836 --> 00:31:09,421 How do you feel about this? 450 00:31:09,588 --> 00:31:10,923 You know what we have to do. 451 00:31:11,089 --> 00:31:13,717 Wrap this up because another show's coming on the air? 452 00:31:13,884 --> 00:31:15,803 - We call the police! - We call the police! 453 00:31:15,969 --> 00:31:19,181 Right. We have to get them involved. Tell them what happened. 454 00:31:19,348 --> 00:31:20,849 - You think so, huh? - Absolutely. 455 00:31:21,016 --> 00:31:22,726 - Let's not and we say we did. - David. 456 00:31:22,893 --> 00:31:26,230 You're gonna call the police, say we found the child with no mother... 457 00:31:26,396 --> 00:31:28,899 ...looked for her, found the mother, lost the child. 458 00:31:29,066 --> 00:31:32,069 As long as you're on the phone, I've misplaced my secretary... 459 00:31:32,236 --> 00:31:34,446 ...and did I tell you, I'm a private detective? 460 00:31:34,613 --> 00:31:36,615 - Something like that. - Let's keep looking. 461 00:31:36,782 --> 00:31:39,243 - Keep looking? - You took the words out of my mouth. 462 00:31:39,409 --> 00:31:41,870 My tongue never felt a thing. 463 00:31:46,542 --> 00:31:47,876 It will be dark in an hour. 464 00:31:48,085 --> 00:31:49,795 It will be Christmas Eve in an hour. 465 00:31:50,504 --> 00:31:53,799 My goodness, I completely... 466 00:31:57,344 --> 00:31:58,762 I haven't had a chance- 467 00:31:58,971 --> 00:32:01,515 It's okay. I didn't get you anything either. 468 00:32:04,184 --> 00:32:07,896 - Some Christmas, huh? - Yeah. 469 00:32:08,522 --> 00:32:09,857 I wish we were in Bethlehem. 470 00:32:10,065 --> 00:32:12,568 Really? Bethlehem nice this time of year? 471 00:32:12,776 --> 00:32:15,821 I'd know how to find DiPesto and the baby if we were there. 472 00:32:16,029 --> 00:32:18,574 - Really? - Sure, things were simpler back then. 473 00:32:18,782 --> 00:32:20,367 - No kidding. - No kidding. 474 00:32:20,534 --> 00:32:23,203 I mean, if there was a baby and you wanted to find him... 475 00:32:23,370 --> 00:32:25,414 ...the big guy would put a star in the sky. 476 00:32:25,622 --> 00:32:27,332 - A star? - Sure, don't you remember... 477 00:32:27,499 --> 00:32:30,085 ...when the three wise men were trying to find baby Jesus? 478 00:32:30,252 --> 00:32:32,880 - They looked for a star to guide them. - A star! 479 00:32:33,088 --> 00:32:35,090 - It led them right to him. - David. 480 00:32:35,257 --> 00:32:37,759 I think I know where DiPesto and the baby are. 481 00:32:37,926 --> 00:32:39,803 - You do? - Would you do something for me? 482 00:32:40,012 --> 00:32:43,474 - You said you knew where they were. - Well, like you said: 483 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,018 "A star in the sky will guide us right to them." 484 00:33:05,662 --> 00:33:07,372 Hello, Ms. DiPesto. 485 00:33:10,834 --> 00:33:12,377 Hello, Ms. Hayes. 486 00:33:13,712 --> 00:33:17,216 It took me a while to figure out where you were and what you were doing. 487 00:33:17,424 --> 00:33:19,593 - Ms. Hayes? - Spending Christmas Eve... 488 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,762 ...under a tree with a baby. 489 00:33:21,970 --> 00:33:24,056 - Ms. Hayes. - Waiting for Santa Claus. 490 00:33:24,264 --> 00:33:26,642 - Oh, Ms. Hayes. - I really do know how you feel. 491 00:33:26,809 --> 00:33:30,062 Christmases and children. They make up for a lot of the bad stuff. 492 00:33:30,270 --> 00:33:32,773 - Oh, Ms. Hayes. - But this baby is not ours. 493 00:33:32,940 --> 00:33:35,192 - But, Ms. Hayes- - I'm sorry, Agnes... 494 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,736 ...but his mother's waiting back at the office. 495 00:33:38,153 --> 00:33:41,532 Terrific. Why don't you give her a call and ask her to come over? 496 00:33:45,369 --> 00:33:48,163 - He followed me here. - Great. I'd hate to think of him... 497 00:33:48,330 --> 00:33:50,290 ...in this cold and lonely house alone. 498 00:33:50,499 --> 00:33:52,126 About that phone call? 499 00:33:52,334 --> 00:33:54,503 They're waiting for Santa Claus. 500 00:33:55,003 --> 00:33:58,132 Call me cynical, but I'll bet they're in for a long wait. 501 00:34:08,517 --> 00:34:11,478 Oh, boy. Am I glad Christmas only comes once a year. 502 00:34:11,687 --> 00:34:14,148 What the hell? 503 00:34:17,901 --> 00:34:22,447 I want you to know, there is no one else I would do this for. 504 00:34:23,073 --> 00:34:29,163 That is the last time I jam myself into a tight hole with clothes on. 505 00:34:31,165 --> 00:34:34,334 Now, this is no way to impress Santy Claus. 506 00:34:34,543 --> 00:34:36,670 - Who is he? - Fifty bucks for this costume... 507 00:34:36,837 --> 00:34:39,465 - ...and he wants to know who I am. - Shut up. 508 00:34:42,551 --> 00:34:46,054 You keep an eye on these people while she and I find a phone. 509 00:34:54,605 --> 00:34:58,775 - David, do something. - Prepare to attack. 510 00:35:01,570 --> 00:35:03,530 They're in range. 511 00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:24,676 Good shot. 512 00:35:24,843 --> 00:35:27,346 Okay, which one of you wants to go first? 513 00:35:28,555 --> 00:35:29,932 You miss her already? 514 00:35:31,141 --> 00:35:33,560 And one and two and- 515 00:35:40,317 --> 00:35:42,444 Enough games. 516 00:35:44,822 --> 00:35:45,906 The jig is up. 517 00:35:47,699 --> 00:35:49,827 - Drop it! - Drop it! 518 00:35:50,702 --> 00:35:52,538 Drop it. 519 00:35:59,711 --> 00:36:01,672 I'd recognize those crowns anywhere. 520 00:36:02,089 --> 00:36:04,508 Three Kings. 521 00:36:08,053 --> 00:36:10,013 Take a load off. 522 00:36:16,436 --> 00:36:18,689 - I just had a thought. - There's a first. 523 00:36:18,856 --> 00:36:21,024 No, think about it for a minute. 524 00:36:21,191 --> 00:36:22,860 Santa's hotline... 525 00:36:23,026 --> 00:36:25,154 ...Mary and Joseph's story... 526 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,614 ...the way the office is decorated. 527 00:36:27,781 --> 00:36:29,783 Think this could be the Christmas episode? 528 00:36:29,950 --> 00:36:33,162 You know, it just might be. 529 00:36:33,328 --> 00:36:36,165 It couldn't be the Christmas episode. There's no snow. 530 00:39:26,710 --> 00:39:28,754 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 531 00:39:28,962 --> 00:39:31,423 Merry Christmas! 42367

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