All language subtitles for The Neighbors (2012) S02E20 Close Encounters of the Bird Kind (1080p AMZN Webrip x265 10bit EAC3 5.1 - TheSickle)[TAoE]_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:07,178 [ door opens ] 2 00:00:07,178 --> 00:00:08,179 Hey. 3 00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:09,220 Whoa! 4 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:10,971 That is A lot of larry. 5 00:00:10,971 --> 00:00:13,224 Debbie: ooh. And not a lot of swimsuit. 6 00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,895 Hey, jackie. 7 00:00:14,895 --> 00:00:16,727 We can only stay A minute. 8 00:00:16,727 --> 00:00:18,229 Our bowling semifinals Are tonight. 9 00:00:18,229 --> 00:00:19,730 You're still coming To cheer us on, right? 10 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,062 Absolutely. 11 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,524 But not until we've celebrated Our bird-iversary! 12 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,816 Well, it's been Exactly one year 13 00:00:25,816 --> 00:00:27,698 Since larry bird Disobeyed his father 14 00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:29,860 And decided that the community Would stay on earth 15 00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:31,202 To continue Our research. 16 00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:32,573 Ohhhh. 17 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:35,996 So to celebrate, you made him A papier-mâché bust! 18 00:00:35,996 --> 00:00:38,499 So, I see you also have A picture of...Scott baio. 19 00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:40,751 Because...? 20 00:00:40,751 --> 00:00:43,964 Oh! This is a gallery of Larry bird's favorite leaders. 21 00:00:43,964 --> 00:00:46,167 So we have churchill, Ghengis khan, 22 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:48,929 And, of course, charles, Who was, famously, in charge. 23 00:00:48,929 --> 00:00:50,301 Mm-hmm. 24 00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:53,094 Oh, I hope this party Cheers larry bird up. 25 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,266 He's been so worried About what we've accomplished 26 00:00:55,266 --> 00:00:56,597 Since his stand Against his father, 27 00:00:56,597 --> 00:00:58,769 And it's beginning To come between us. 28 00:00:58,769 --> 00:01:01,732 His anxiety is even affecting His performance in the bedroom. 29 00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:02,813 O...Kay. 30 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,315 Oh, no, I'm just saying -- 31 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,187 He's so limp. Jackie! 32 00:01:06,187 --> 00:01:08,359 He teases his hair for hours, And it just lies there. 33 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,191 [ slaps legs ] The hair's limp. 34 00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:11,192 Mm-hmm. I got you. 35 00:01:11,192 --> 00:01:13,364 Dick, Is your father upstairs? 36 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,456 Nope, Just me and the kids 37 00:01:15,456 --> 00:01:17,118 Wrestling With the big questions -- 38 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,289 Like, if you smelt it, 39 00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:20,371 Are you, in fact, The one who dealt it? 40 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:21,582 Riveting stuff. 41 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,334 We'll be In the new clubhouse. 42 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:26,297 It's a salon -- A place for higher thought. 43 00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:27,838 Last one there's A rotten egg! 44 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,050 Rotten eggs Smell like farts. 45 00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:32,012 [ sighs ] I need new friends. 46 00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:33,764 Well, If he's not upstairs, 47 00:01:33,764 --> 00:01:36,056 He must be in the garage, Worrying. 48 00:01:36,056 --> 00:01:38,719 Okay, weavers, Come help me fluff my husband. 49 00:01:38,719 --> 00:01:40,351 What? What are you -- What are you -- 50 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:41,722 His hair! She means his hair. [ chuckles nervously ] 51 00:01:41,722 --> 00:01:42,853 Of course she means -- Yeah, okay. 52 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,815 But, daddy! Grandfather: enough! 53 00:01:44,815 --> 00:01:46,687 What have you accomplished This year? 54 00:01:46,687 --> 00:01:50,151 If you are going to stay On earth against my wishes, 55 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:52,653 At least have something To show for it. [ sighs ] 56 00:01:52,653 --> 00:01:54,575 Take over A small government. 57 00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:55,786 Get a tramp stamp. 58 00:01:55,786 --> 00:01:57,578 We did Two musical numbers. 59 00:01:57,578 --> 00:01:59,240 Which almost no one saw. 60 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,162 Got nominated For an emmy. 61 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:04,205 If you don't have something Of import to show me 62 00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:05,246 Within the week, 63 00:02:05,246 --> 00:02:07,548 I'm going to Have to send someone 64 00:02:07,548 --> 00:02:09,590 To clean up your mess, 65 00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:13,514 And I'm going to be Very bitchy about it. 66 00:02:13,514 --> 00:02:14,465 But -- [ door opens ] 67 00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:16,096 All: Happy bird-iversary! 68 00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:17,678 [ beep ] 69 00:02:17,678 --> 00:02:20,431 Husband, what are you doing In here on your computer, 70 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,223 Looking all nervous And sweaty? 71 00:02:22,223 --> 00:02:24,815 Hey, marty, it seems like Aliens and humans 72 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,187 Have more in common Than we thought. 73 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,319 It was one time. 74 00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:29,320 [ sighs ] 75 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:30,941 ♪♪♪ 76 00:02:30,941 --> 00:02:34,735 ♪ we came from outer space And settled in new jersey ♪ 77 00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:38,539 ♪ we took names like larry bird And jackie joyner-kersee ♪ 78 00:02:38,539 --> 00:02:40,741 ♪ then the humans Moved next door ♪ 79 00:02:40,741 --> 00:02:42,953 ♪ started testing All our limits ♪ 80 00:02:42,953 --> 00:02:45,165 ♪ so sit right down, Enjoy the show ♪ 81 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,419 ♪ we'll be done in 30 minutes ♪ 82 00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:53,053 Ohhh! Ohhh! 83 00:02:53,053 --> 00:02:55,216 That's my man! Great shot, baby! 84 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,468 The incredibowls Are on fire. 85 00:02:57,468 --> 00:03:00,891 And...There goes The human fire extinguisher. 86 00:03:00,891 --> 00:03:02,893 Come on, Sweetie! 87 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,362 [ groans ] 88 00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:13,364 Oh...Almost! 89 00:03:13,364 --> 00:03:14,615 Don't worry about it, Baby! 90 00:03:14,615 --> 00:03:16,777 We're still way ahead. I got you covered. 91 00:03:16,777 --> 00:03:18,078 I have a 239, 92 00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:20,371 And you have...A 12. 93 00:03:20,371 --> 00:03:22,453 Oh. 12's bad, huh? 94 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,204 Yes. Yeah, quite bad. 95 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,377 Eh, who cares about score, Huh? 96 00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:27,998 You're all about The intangibles. 97 00:03:27,998 --> 00:03:30,331 You are the spirit Of the incredibowls. 98 00:03:30,331 --> 00:03:31,332 Aah! 99 00:03:31,332 --> 00:03:32,833 All right, let's go! 100 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:34,795 [ grunts ] 101 00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:36,297 You can do it, Sweetie! 102 00:03:36,297 --> 00:03:38,759 Marty, she's only got Six more points 103 00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:40,301 Than there are "Rocky" movies. 104 00:03:40,301 --> 00:03:42,263 The championship Is next week, man. 105 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,764 Hey, listen, I get it -- Deb's not a great bowler. 106 00:03:43,764 --> 00:03:44,845 But what do you want me To do? 107 00:03:44,845 --> 00:03:46,347 We want you To kick her off the team. 108 00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:48,979 W-what do you want me to do Besides that? 109 00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:51,352 Oh-hoo! 110 00:03:51,352 --> 00:03:54,154 I got one! I got one! I got one! I got one! 111 00:03:54,154 --> 00:03:55,616 Oh, humans. 112 00:03:55,616 --> 00:03:58,319 Never more than a ball And a fried carbohydrate 113 00:03:58,319 --> 00:04:00,571 Away from having A good time. 114 00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:02,032 Not a bowler, either, Huh? 115 00:04:02,032 --> 00:04:04,365 No. I can't stand it. 116 00:04:04,365 --> 00:04:08,128 Giving the shoes back at the end Is just too much heartbreak. 117 00:04:08,128 --> 00:04:09,249 You have A lovely accent. 118 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,921 Are you new To this country? 119 00:04:10,921 --> 00:04:12,082 Oh, no. 120 00:04:12,082 --> 00:04:14,335 My husband and I moved here 11 years ago, 121 00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:16,507 But we've only been On our own for... 122 00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,928 One year! 123 00:04:17,928 --> 00:04:20,140 This has been my mission For one year, people, 124 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,433 And I need Progress reports now! 125 00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:25,095 Mary lou retton, My chief chemist and engineer, 126 00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:26,096 Status report. 127 00:04:26,096 --> 00:04:27,478 What have you learned This week? 128 00:04:27,478 --> 00:04:29,269 Natalie portman Wore it better, 129 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,522 Gwyneth paltrow is doing A rhubarb cleanse, 130 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:34,274 And I'm still on the fence About jimmy fallon. 131 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,896 Mary lou, This is very disappointing! 132 00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,237 I know -- poor leno. 133 00:04:37,237 --> 00:04:38,569 Ugh! 134 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:41,662 Kareem abdul-jabbar, You're my cultural attaché. 135 00:04:41,662 --> 00:04:42,993 Your report. 136 00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:44,284 I've learned so much. 137 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,367 We are in the middle Of a matthew mccona-sance. 138 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:48,869 [ southern accent ] All right, all right, all right. 139 00:04:48,869 --> 00:04:51,041 I can't believe None of you have learned 140 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,212 Anything Of anything import! 141 00:04:52,212 --> 00:04:53,213 I have! 142 00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:54,335 [ gasps ] 143 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,336 Ooh! Ooh! 144 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:56,337 [ laughs ] 145 00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,178 You aliens are Driving me... 146 00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:01,131 ...Crazy only talking about His problems and his stress. 147 00:05:01,131 --> 00:05:04,184 Think that just once, He'd ask about my life -- 148 00:05:04,184 --> 00:05:06,767 About how a black woman Can change her hairstyle 149 00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:08,689 So many times Without using a weave. 150 00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:10,981 It's me and beyoncé. We're the only ones. 151 00:05:10,981 --> 00:05:12,563 [ laughs ] That's the list. 152 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,235 Listen to me go on. Sorry. 153 00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:17,938 There's just something about you That gets me talking. 154 00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:19,700 Oh, well, You know, actually, 155 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,321 It's kind of My bread and butter. 156 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,282 I'm a therapist. 157 00:05:22,282 --> 00:05:24,324 [ gasps ] Like frasier. 158 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,708 Will there be some witty banter About wine and opera? 159 00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:28,949 Okay, got to go, 160 00:05:28,949 --> 00:05:31,041 But if you and your husband Just want to talk, 161 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,583 Maybe I can help. 162 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,546 Oh, thank you so much. 163 00:05:35,546 --> 00:05:37,628 And do you happen to know What area of the bowling alley 164 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,840 I can find A good dentist in? 165 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,762 [ keys jingle ] 166 00:05:41,762 --> 00:05:44,425 That was such a fun night, Marty. 167 00:05:44,425 --> 00:05:47,057 Did you see my lasso dance Every time I knocked down a pin? 168 00:05:47,057 --> 00:05:49,640 Yeah, I sure did. I saw it all -- all 12 times. 169 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,851 [ sighs ] 170 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,813 You know, I was thinking That maybe we should 171 00:05:52,813 --> 00:05:54,184 Quit bowling While we're ahead -- 172 00:05:54,184 --> 00:05:55,396 You know, like -- Like barry sanders. 173 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,687 Our old accountant? 174 00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:58,529 He didn't quit While he was ahead, marty. 175 00:05:58,529 --> 00:06:00,401 I think they found him dead At his desk. 176 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,242 No, barry sanders is A football player 177 00:06:02,242 --> 00:06:03,574 Who left At the top of his game. 178 00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:05,195 Well, Why'd he want to quit? 179 00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:09,249 Well, honey, I-I was talking With oscar and lana, and -- 180 00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:11,291 Oh, god, forget them. 181 00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:13,123 They only care About the score, right? 182 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,955 Uh, yeah, that's exactly right. They sure do. 183 00:06:14,955 --> 00:06:15,756 Um -- 184 00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:17,167 Oh, let's go to bed. 185 00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,000 All this bowling talk Has put me in the mood. 186 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,212 That is the first time that Sentence has ever been said. 187 00:06:22,212 --> 00:06:23,884 [ swooshes ] 188 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,385 Yeah, honey, I really need to talk to you 189 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,717 About the whole Bowling thing. 190 00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:28,218 Are you sure? What are you doing? 191 00:06:28,218 --> 00:06:29,560 Yes, I'm very sure. 192 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,181 Are you really sure? 193 00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:33,604 Oh, your imaginary lasso Is so strong, huh? 194 00:06:33,604 --> 00:06:34,605 Well, giddyup! 195 00:06:34,605 --> 00:06:35,936 I-I... 196 00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:37,518 Screw it. Yeah. Pull me up. Let's go. 197 00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:41,191 Max: oh! Oh! Oh, stop it, max! 198 00:06:41,191 --> 00:06:42,613 Tag! You're it! [ laughs ] 199 00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:43,904 Wet willy! Gross! 200 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,325 Tag! You're it, dick! 201 00:06:45,325 --> 00:06:46,577 We all know How this ends. 202 00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:48,288 I tag you. You tag me. 203 00:06:48,288 --> 00:06:49,990 I fall over And shatter my femur. 204 00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,492 Can we just Cut to the chase? 205 00:06:51,492 --> 00:06:52,663 Dick, we told you -- 206 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,495 We're not playing paperwork Again. 207 00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:55,496 Or filing. 208 00:06:55,496 --> 00:06:56,797 Let me Give it to you straight. 209 00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:58,298 This relationship is over. 210 00:06:58,298 --> 00:07:00,380 I've drawn up A separation agreement, 211 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:03,093 Which bequeaths us Equal time in the clubhouse. 212 00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:04,424 Sign at the tabs. 213 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,926 I'm trying to make An 11:30 across town. [ sighs ] 214 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,719 Now I just need one good Statistic to impress father. 215 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,930 [ murmurs ] 216 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,312 Hi, honey buns. 217 00:07:12,312 --> 00:07:14,014 [ murmuring ] How's your day going? 218 00:07:14,014 --> 00:07:17,317 I'm doing very well. Thanks for asking. 219 00:07:17,317 --> 00:07:18,609 Current... 220 00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:21,191 So, I met the most interesting Woman last night. 221 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,523 41% are driving. 222 00:07:22,523 --> 00:07:24,525 I know you've been Under a lot of pressure lately, 223 00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:26,326 So I thought it might help If we went to talk to her. 224 00:07:26,326 --> 00:07:28,328 She's a therapist. See? 225 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:30,370 A therapist?! Yeah. 226 00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:31,451 Oh. 227 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,703 I thought You were going to suggest 228 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,535 Something stupid and beneath me, But a therapist! 229 00:07:34,535 --> 00:07:35,876 You don't say! 230 00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:36,957 [ sighs ] May I see that? 231 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,168 Oh, yes. 232 00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:39,209 Ah. 233 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,752 [ gasps ] 234 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:42,923 Thank you. 235 00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:44,344 But -- 236 00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:45,926 Therapist -- Ridiculous! 237 00:07:45,926 --> 00:07:47,347 Therapy! 238 00:07:55,185 --> 00:07:57,147 One therapy, please. 239 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:02,903 I'm so excited To be in therapy! 240 00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:04,484 I feel like Tony soprano. 241 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,987 [ american accent ] "Carmela, the ducks Are back. Mortadella!" 242 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,488 [ laughs ] 243 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,910 [ normal voice ] Sorry. I'm rambling. 244 00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:12,533 I-I'm just not used to having Anyone listen to me. 245 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,535 So you feel No one listens to you? 246 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,116 Well, no. 247 00:08:16,116 --> 00:08:17,327 And your husband? 248 00:08:17,327 --> 00:08:19,830 We've been married For 1,402 years. 249 00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,002 Sometimes it feels that way, Doesn't it? 250 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,675 Well, if by "Sometimes," You mean "Literally," then yes. 251 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,968 Larry bird and I used to do Everything together, 252 00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:30,050 But now he just locks himself Away in his garage 253 00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:31,131 With his computer. 254 00:08:31,131 --> 00:08:32,763 Have you checked His search history? 255 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:35,345 Oh, of course. It's mostly just hair blogs. 256 00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:37,397 But who cares What he's searching for? 257 00:08:37,397 --> 00:08:39,770 Just please -- Just make me feel better. 258 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,441 You're a shrink! Shrink me! 259 00:08:41,441 --> 00:08:42,983 Ohh, jackie. 260 00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:46,526 Sometimes therapy takes years Of hard work and reflection. 261 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,569 But dr. Phil does it In an hour -- 262 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,611 Just in time For "Family feud." 263 00:08:50,611 --> 00:08:53,113 And it's only 15 minutes Till the "Feud," barb. 264 00:08:55,365 --> 00:08:59,119 Welcome to "The butkus group," A salon for higher thought. 265 00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:04,124 With me are the brightest minds In science, media, and politics. 266 00:09:04,124 --> 00:09:06,126 Joel stein, time magazine, 267 00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:08,168 Lawrence o'donnell, msnbc, 268 00:09:08,168 --> 00:09:11,131 And noted science guy Bill nye the science guy. 269 00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:12,472 W-why are we here? 270 00:09:12,472 --> 00:09:15,095 Metaphysical question -- Good start. 271 00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:17,017 Lawrence o'donnell, Why are any of us here? 272 00:09:17,017 --> 00:09:20,981 Well, the hindus believe That the eternal spirit -- 273 00:09:20,981 --> 00:09:22,643 No one cares! Next topic. 274 00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:24,524 Joel stein, Electoral college -- go. 275 00:09:24,524 --> 00:09:26,026 Uh, can I get Another juice box? 276 00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:27,688 I am this close, stein! 277 00:09:27,688 --> 00:09:30,240 Remember, you're only here 'cause hawking demanded a ramp. 278 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,112 Is this a real tv show? 279 00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:33,824 My friend, I've been Asking myself that question 280 00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:35,325 For two seasons. 281 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:38,408 Dick, the schedule says We get the clubhouse now. 282 00:09:38,408 --> 00:09:39,620 Give me five minutes. 283 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,622 Nye's gonna charge a cellphone With a potato. 284 00:09:42,663 --> 00:09:45,255 Y-you can't charge a cellphone With a potato. 285 00:09:45,255 --> 00:09:46,967 There's too much Internal resistance. 286 00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:51,171 Maybe dick's right. 287 00:09:51,171 --> 00:09:53,213 Maybe we are Too immature. 288 00:09:53,213 --> 00:09:56,176 [ sighs ] Yeah. Good point, abby. 289 00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:57,177 Wet willy! 290 00:09:57,177 --> 00:09:58,598 [ laughing ] Gross! 291 00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,559 Don't wet willy! Stop! 292 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:00,641 Come here! 293 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,142 Stop! Stop! 294 00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:05,025 Marty: fun. Larry: ugh! 295 00:10:05,025 --> 00:10:06,146 You said It was supposed to be that. Oh! 296 00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:07,147 I could just try it. Oh! 297 00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:08,568 Well, I don't know. 298 00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:09,820 Oh. Try to do it. 299 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:10,821 I could do it. 300 00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:11,902 Even if I had fun, 301 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,903 I'm not supposed to get All serious. 302 00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:13,944 Hey! You there! 303 00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:15,786 Marty, stop your pacing And mumbling. 304 00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:17,868 It's interfering With my mumbling and pacing. 305 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:18,869 I'm sorry, larry. 306 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,120 You know, I've had quite a week, 307 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,002 And I'm just trying To figure something out. 308 00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:24,004 Me too. What's your damage? 309 00:10:24,004 --> 00:10:25,335 Oh, it's no big deal. [ sighs ] 310 00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:26,586 Debbie's a lousy bowler, 311 00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:27,838 And the guys want To kick her off the team. 312 00:10:27,838 --> 00:10:28,628 You? 313 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,750 Oh, no big deal. 314 00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,421 I just failed My 10-year mission to earth, 315 00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:33,343 And my father's gonna Take my family away. 316 00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:35,305 But please -- Tell me more about bowling. 317 00:10:35,305 --> 00:10:36,887 This is A fun conversation. 318 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,348 The point is, I'm screwed. 319 00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:40,220 All my zabvronian underlings Are useless! 320 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,602 Well, larry, you know, maybe The other aliens are failing, 321 00:10:42,602 --> 00:10:44,434 But your family's learned A lot. 322 00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,316 You know, I mean, Reggie dated my daughter. 323 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:47,267 He alone has enough, Uh -- 324 00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:48,268 Shut up. 325 00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:49,189 What? 326 00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:50,610 Shut up! What? 327 00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:52,983 You finally had a good idea. Don't ruin it. 328 00:10:52,983 --> 00:10:56,156 I got to start doing my thinking Indoors, huh? 329 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,158 Marty, what are you Thinking about for dinner? 330 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,279 Oh, hey, lar. 331 00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:00,701 Debbie weaver... 332 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:03,283 Your husband has Just given me great advice! 333 00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:05,495 I know! I'm as shocked as you are. 334 00:11:05,495 --> 00:11:07,167 Well, my husband is A pretty great guy. 335 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,999 All right, Keep it in your pants. 336 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,461 But as he has Done me a solid, 337 00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:13,593 I will do him a solid In return. 338 00:11:13,593 --> 00:11:15,505 Debbie, marty doesn't know How to tell you 339 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,798 He's kicking you off The bowling team Because you stink. 340 00:11:17,798 --> 00:11:19,299 So, debbie, 341 00:11:19,299 --> 00:11:21,762 You're kicked off The bowling team Because you stink. 342 00:11:21,762 --> 00:11:23,223 Don't bother to thank me. Bird out! 343 00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:28,608 Oh, my goodness. 344 00:11:28,608 --> 00:11:29,940 I can't believe All the random emotions 345 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,311 That are Coming out of me. 346 00:11:31,311 --> 00:11:32,482 [ laughs ] 347 00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:34,865 I feel like A meryl streep highlight reel. 348 00:11:34,865 --> 00:11:38,158 Oh, then I go from home to work And work back home, 349 00:11:38,158 --> 00:11:40,871 And I'm not appreciated In either place. 350 00:11:40,871 --> 00:11:44,124 But, jackie, you're An intelligent, capable woman. 351 00:11:44,124 --> 00:11:47,287 Surely you can find purpose In something else. 352 00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:48,128 Well, of course I can. 353 00:11:48,128 --> 00:11:50,500 I can do anything I want. 354 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,882 But... 355 00:11:51,882 --> 00:11:55,836 What I really want is To feel like I belong somewhere. 356 00:11:55,836 --> 00:11:57,467 Like somewhere is home. 357 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,299 Okay. 358 00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:00,801 And... 359 00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:03,143 What exactly Would make you feel like 360 00:12:03,143 --> 00:12:04,805 This here is your home? 361 00:12:04,805 --> 00:12:07,147 Oh. 362 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,730 All right, father, You wanted to know 363 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,403 What we've learned This past year on earth. 364 00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:17,237 May I present to you My son reggie jackson? 365 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,450 Grandson! You look magnificent. 366 00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,823 Uh, did you get the birthday Check I sent to you? 367 00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,785 I got all $5, yes. Thank you. 368 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:25,996 [ chuckles ] 369 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:30,420 Uh, reggie, You dated a human female. 370 00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:31,962 What did she teach you? 371 00:12:31,962 --> 00:12:34,084 Oh! I learned more Than you can imagine. 372 00:12:34,084 --> 00:12:36,046 Women are going to talk -- A lot -- 373 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,677 And most of it's going to be About their problems. 374 00:12:37,677 --> 00:12:39,139 Under no circumstances 375 00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:41,141 Should you try To solve those problems. 376 00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:42,642 Just nod, 377 00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:44,805 Say "That sounds hard" As many times as possible, 378 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,146 And then buy them tapas. 379 00:12:46,146 --> 00:12:47,727 I don't think -- They love tapas. 380 00:12:47,727 --> 00:12:49,099 Makes them feel like They're traveling 381 00:12:49,099 --> 00:12:50,350 Even though They're just at a strip mall. 382 00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:51,391 Enough! 383 00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:53,523 Reggie, I love you, 384 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,606 But that was A horrible waste of time! 385 00:12:56,606 --> 00:12:59,199 Do you know How much these calls cost? 386 00:12:59,199 --> 00:13:01,451 You could not be More out of network. 387 00:13:01,451 --> 00:13:03,113 Leave us. 388 00:13:03,113 --> 00:13:05,205 Oh, father, I know that didn't go 389 00:13:05,205 --> 00:13:07,117 Exactly as I wanted it, But -- Quiet. 390 00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:09,289 I can't cover for you Anymore. 391 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,122 Your colony is worse Than I realized. 392 00:13:12,122 --> 00:13:14,544 No! Eh... I just need more time. 393 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,876 Enough! 394 00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:17,627 It's over, son! 395 00:13:17,627 --> 00:13:20,050 You've failed me For the last time! 396 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,973 Someone needs To clean up your mess. 397 00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:24,344 So... 398 00:13:24,344 --> 00:13:26,426 I'm sending him. 399 00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:27,387 [ gasps ] 400 00:13:27,387 --> 00:13:28,849 Kisses to jackie. 401 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:32,102 Tell dick and reggie Grandpa snuggy loves them. 402 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,483 [ chuckles ] 403 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,739 Can't believe You want me off the team! 404 00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:41,151 [ sighs ] 405 00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:43,613 What wine pairs best With husband's betrayal? 406 00:13:43,613 --> 00:13:44,654 Oh, screw it. 407 00:13:44,654 --> 00:13:46,156 I'm gonna have the cake. 408 00:13:46,156 --> 00:13:47,327 Deb, I'm sorry. 409 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,578 I-I don't want To kick you off the team. 410 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,290 It's oscar and lana. 411 00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:51,661 Now, they really -- they really Want to win this championship. 412 00:13:51,661 --> 00:13:53,293 Why didn't you Say something to me? 413 00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:54,754 Why did I have to hear it From larry? 414 00:13:54,754 --> 00:13:55,916 'cause I didn't want To hurt your feelings. 415 00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:57,377 Oh. How's that working For you? 416 00:13:57,377 --> 00:13:59,009 Bad. Badly. Pretty bad. 417 00:13:59,009 --> 00:14:01,221 Um, look, the thing is, We've been working really hard, 418 00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,423 You know, and it might be nice To win a championship. 419 00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:05,886 So do you think That maybe you could focus 420 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:08,518 Some of your dancing energy Into bowling energy? 421 00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:10,850 Wow. Turning on the dancing. 422 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,683 Well, if that's what you want, That's what you'll get -- 423 00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:15,525 Focus, all focus. 424 00:14:15,525 --> 00:14:17,777 No more dancing. No fun. 425 00:14:17,777 --> 00:14:20,360 I'll be in the bathtub. 426 00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:22,943 Okay, no fun! 427 00:14:22,943 --> 00:14:26,366 Sounds...Fun. 428 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,617 Wow. 429 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,619 Are you sure That's what you want, jackie? 430 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,791 I mean, It's an awfully big decision. 431 00:14:31,791 --> 00:14:33,583 It is. [ sighs ] 432 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:34,834 But yes -- I'm sure. 433 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,756 Well, then you have to Tell larry tonight. 434 00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:39,419 It's time Your needs come first. 435 00:14:39,419 --> 00:14:41,301 All right. I'll tell him. 436 00:14:41,301 --> 00:14:44,634 Oh, thank you so much For everything this week, barb. 437 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:48,058 Dr. Phil's got nothing On you. 438 00:14:48,058 --> 00:14:49,389 Except The television show. 439 00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:51,221 And the books. 440 00:14:51,221 --> 00:14:52,352 And the money. 441 00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:53,433 [ chuckles ] 442 00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:54,604 And the mustache! 443 00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:56,646 Okay. [ chuckles ] We'll see you next time. 444 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,018 Sorry. 445 00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:06,576 Hey, dick, 446 00:15:06,576 --> 00:15:08,788 Isn't this your fancy Talking time in the salon? 447 00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:11,831 Yeah. O'donnell's doing Another rant on the tea party. 448 00:15:11,831 --> 00:15:13,033 I needed a breather. 449 00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:14,244 Abby: Ugh. I hear you. 450 00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,705 You've been To one tea party, 451 00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:16,626 You've been To all of them. 452 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:17,797 Shouldn't you guys be 453 00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:19,539 Throwing water balloons at cars Right now? 454 00:15:19,539 --> 00:15:20,340 Yeah. 455 00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:22,592 We tried. A few honked. 456 00:15:22,592 --> 00:15:24,634 One guy gave us The finger! 457 00:15:24,634 --> 00:15:26,256 But it didn't have That old magic 458 00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:27,757 Without you Lecturing us. 459 00:15:27,757 --> 00:15:28,969 [ sighs ] You know, 460 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,972 Maybe I was a bit hasty About breaking us up. 461 00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:34,184 Got any plans For those extra water balloons? 462 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,727 I'm pretty sure fossils were Put there by the devil 463 00:15:37,727 --> 00:15:38,688 To confuse you. 464 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,560 At what magazine Do you work? 465 00:15:44,064 --> 00:15:45,485 [ laughter ] 466 00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:47,697 [ indistinct shouting ] 467 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,489 [ splashing ] 468 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,702 [ indistinct conversations ] 469 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,704 [ cheering in distance ] 470 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:55,705 [ pins clatter ] 471 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,746 What's she doing here? 472 00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:59,419 Oh, hi, oscar, lana. 473 00:15:59,419 --> 00:16:00,920 I'm so sorry. Should I turn around? 474 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,462 I know You're more comfortable 475 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,843 Talking about me Behind my back. 476 00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,675 Oh, it was nothing personal, Debbie. 477 00:16:05,675 --> 00:16:07,587 We -- We just want to win. 478 00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:09,589 Oh, me too. Me too! 479 00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:11,301 It is All I care about now. 480 00:16:11,301 --> 00:16:13,393 Let's have A terrible time. 481 00:16:13,393 --> 00:16:14,594 Okay! 482 00:16:14,594 --> 00:16:16,186 [ sighs ] 483 00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:18,768 [ "Eye of the tiger" plays ] 484 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,583 ♪ rising up ♪ 485 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:46,676 ♪ back on the street ♪ 486 00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:47,967 ♪ did my time, took my chances ♪ 487 00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:49,389 [ cheering ] 488 00:16:49,389 --> 00:16:50,800 What do you say?! Right here! 489 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,134 ♪ went the distance, Now I'm back on my feet ♪ 490 00:16:54,134 --> 00:16:58,438 ♪ just a man And his will to survive ♪ 491 00:16:58,438 --> 00:17:02,522 ♪ it's the eye of the tiger, It's the thrill of the fight ♪ 492 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:07,147 ♪ rising up To the challenge of our rival ♪ 493 00:17:07,147 --> 00:17:09,609 ♪ and the last known survivor ♪ 494 00:17:09,609 --> 00:17:11,030 ♪ stalks his prey In the night... ♪ 495 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,822 All right. 496 00:17:12,822 --> 00:17:14,074 Okay, so, deb, 497 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:16,866 We are down by one pin, With one ball to go. 498 00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,208 Your ball. 499 00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:20,580 You can do this, deb. 500 00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,712 Piece of cake. 501 00:17:22,712 --> 00:17:24,924 Don't worry. I won't screw it up. 502 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,219 [ sighs ] 503 00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:32,762 [ sighs ] Deb, wait! 504 00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,516 I don't want this. 505 00:17:38,178 --> 00:17:40,680 Listen, watching you laugh And dance around the lanes 506 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,891 Like you do -- 507 00:17:41,891 --> 00:17:45,064 That's my favorite part Of bowling night. 508 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,607 You got that creaky robot, Right? 509 00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:50,570 [ imitates creaky whirring ] 510 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,402 It's a little creakier Than that. 511 00:17:52,402 --> 00:17:53,533 Well, then you got 512 00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:55,155 The "Fist pump/ Raise the roof" combo. 513 00:17:55,155 --> 00:17:56,406 There it is. 514 00:17:56,406 --> 00:17:57,997 That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you go, girl. 515 00:17:57,997 --> 00:17:59,329 And then You got that thing 516 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,790 Where it looks like You're washing the windows. 517 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,502 I think you're washing -- There it is, see? 518 00:18:02,502 --> 00:18:03,663 I don't even know what that is, But I love it. 519 00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:05,795 That's great. 520 00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:09,088 Listen, we may not Bowl a perfect score together, 521 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,301 But we are A perfect team. 522 00:18:11,301 --> 00:18:14,974 Without you, I lose no matter what. 523 00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:16,976 That is so cheesy. 524 00:18:16,976 --> 00:18:18,638 I know. I think it's the beer. 525 00:18:18,638 --> 00:18:20,140 You should Probably drive home. 526 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,521 Yes. 527 00:18:21,521 --> 00:18:23,433 All right, I want you... 528 00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:26,356 To go out there And be adorably horrible. 529 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,107 That, I can do! All right! 530 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,399 Yes! Yes! 531 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,231 ♪ yeah, I'm gonna be ♪ Come on, debbie. 532 00:18:31,231 --> 00:18:32,532 All: [ chanting ] Debbie, debbie! 533 00:18:32,532 --> 00:18:34,734 ♪ I'm gonna be The one you want ♪ 534 00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:36,616 Debbie! Debbie! Debbie! Debbie! 535 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,329 ♪ yeah, I'm gonna be ♪ 536 00:18:39,329 --> 00:18:41,661 ♪ I'm gonna be the lucky one ♪ 537 00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:45,665 Oh, wife, There you are. 538 00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:47,627 I have a problem, And I need to talk to you. 539 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:52,302 Oh, you want to talk to me Now that you have a problem? 540 00:18:52,302 --> 00:18:53,753 Yes. I'm glad We're on the same page. 541 00:18:53,753 --> 00:18:55,175 Uh, what was I saying? 542 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:58,137 No, husband, I will not listen To your problems tonight. 543 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,759 I have needed you The past few weeks, 544 00:18:59,759 --> 00:19:02,101 And you've been locked away In that garage, ignoring me. 545 00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:03,643 Yes, I've been involved In some very important work. 546 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,565 I am important, husband. 547 00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,146 What I want is important. 548 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,859 I want to know That this planet is our home. 549 00:19:09,859 --> 00:19:14,073 I want to know that -- That we belong here permanently. 550 00:19:14,073 --> 00:19:15,695 Or at least For a few more seasons. 551 00:19:15,695 --> 00:19:17,697 I want -- Oh, for god's sake, Just say what you're gonna say. 552 00:19:17,697 --> 00:19:18,778 Then we can get on To my thing. 553 00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:20,039 I want To have another baby. 554 00:19:20,039 --> 00:19:21,661 What? [ door opens ] 555 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,664 Who wants To celebrate?! 556 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,665 [ both cheering ] 557 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,086 You won the competition? 558 00:19:27,086 --> 00:19:28,748 Oh, no. We lost -- miserably. 559 00:19:28,748 --> 00:19:29,959 It was -- It was awesome! 560 00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,711 I missed everything -- All the pins! 561 00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:32,712 I was on fire! 562 00:19:32,712 --> 00:19:33,593 Oh, my god, she sucks! 563 00:19:33,593 --> 00:19:35,255 Who wants ice cream?! 564 00:19:35,255 --> 00:19:36,756 I do! Me! Ohh! 565 00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,177 Everything okay, Jack? 566 00:19:42,352 --> 00:19:43,563 Can I help you? 567 00:19:43,563 --> 00:19:46,266 My wife Seems to think so. 568 00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:49,729 I'm larry bird, And I need someone to talk to. 569 00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:51,691 Uh, sure. That's great. 570 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,193 But it's awfully late. Can it wait until morning? 571 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:54,944 No. 572 00:19:57,527 --> 00:19:58,948 He's already on his way. 573 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,160 [ eerie music playing ] 574 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,291 [ british accent ] All right. 575 00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:14,884 Let's see what mess you've made For me to clean up. 576 00:20:24,304 --> 00:20:25,685 I'm here. 577 00:20:25,685 --> 00:20:28,268 I've been expecting you... 578 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,269 Brother. 579 00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:38,618 Oh. 580 00:20:38,618 --> 00:20:40,860 Bill nye the science guy, Did you eat all the pizza? 581 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:43,823 [ sighs ] You should call yourself Bill nye the selfish guy. 582 00:20:43,823 --> 00:20:45,244 Oh, burn! 583 00:20:46,866 --> 00:20:49,168 Debbie: oh, my god. 584 00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:51,080 This dream again. 585 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,173 Usually, you guys Are dressed as firemen, 586 00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:55,795 But this'll do. 587 00:20:55,795 --> 00:20:56,636 So... 588 00:20:56,636 --> 00:21:00,139 Who wants To save me first? 589 00:21:00,139 --> 00:21:01,090 [ exhales deeply ] 590 00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,472 [ thud ] 591 00:21:02,472 --> 00:21:03,883 Marty: deborah? 592 00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:06,185 Why are all three Of your hall passes In our kitchen? 593 00:21:06,185 --> 00:21:08,147 And what are you doing On the floor? 594 00:21:08,147 --> 00:21:09,809 Oh, my god. 595 00:21:09,809 --> 00:21:11,311 This isn't a dream? This is real? 596 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,852 I think she likes us. 597 00:21:12,852 --> 00:21:14,153 You think, genius? 42025

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