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1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,754
I thought you said
You were going to the library.
2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,546
I thought so, too,
But I literally can't
Get off facebook.
3
00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:07,128
I literally don't think
You know what "Literally" means.
4
00:00:07,128 --> 00:00:08,299
Oh, knock it off, marty.
5
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:10,551
I joined to connect
With my classmates.
6
00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:12,973
Three days later, I'm friends
With everyone I've ever known,
7
00:00:12,973 --> 00:00:14,895
Including all our friends
From bayonne.
8
00:00:14,895 --> 00:00:17,348
Remember that crazy guy
Who lived on our block,
With the pet porcupine?
9
00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:18,979
Petey porcupine!
Of course I do!
10
00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:21,942
We're friends.
He's got a parakeet now.
Oh, I got to see this.
11
00:00:21,942 --> 00:00:22,983
[ chuckles ]
12
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:24,525
There he is! Petey!
13
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,817
What, um --
What party is that?
14
00:00:26,817 --> 00:00:29,570
Uh, the album says
"Kevin's 40th."
15
00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:32,823
I don't remember
Getting an invitation to that.
16
00:00:32,823 --> 00:00:33,994
Me neither.
17
00:00:33,994 --> 00:00:35,076
[ gasps ]
18
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,867
Is that kristen's
Engagement party?
19
00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:39,420
I can't believe
She didn't invite me!
20
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,333
Deb, deb, I'm sure
That was just an oversight.
21
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,834
She wouldn't do that.
22
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,836
Oh, my god.
We've lost touch.
23
00:00:45,836 --> 00:00:47,928
Now we're off
The invite list!
24
00:00:47,928 --> 00:00:51,132
Maybe they're angry because
We never invited them here.
25
00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:52,553
We never even had
A housewarming.
26
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,595
Well, what the hell have we
Been doing with ourselves?
27
00:00:54,595 --> 00:00:57,138
♪ on the first day of oscar,
My true love gave to me ♪
28
00:00:57,138 --> 00:00:59,350
♪ sandra bullock
Defying gravity ♪
29
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:02,143
Hello, weavers!
Do you know it's oscar season?
30
00:01:02,143 --> 00:01:04,105
Yes, larry. You called us
The morning of the nominations.
31
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,776
I'm making
Our oscar-night itinerary.
32
00:01:05,776 --> 00:01:07,278
I thought
We could start watching
33
00:01:07,278 --> 00:01:09,320
The "What are they going to wear
At the pre-show pre-show,"
34
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,402
Followed by the "Most likely
To not fit in their dress
35
00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:13,114
Red carpet special,"
Followed by the oscars.
36
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:15,866
Weavers, why are you not
Rejoicing in oscar merriment?
37
00:01:15,866 --> 00:01:18,078
Does someone need
Some oscar caroling?
38
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,962
♪ on the second day of oscar,
My true love game to me ♪
39
00:01:21,962 --> 00:01:24,004
♪ "August: osage county" ♪
♪ and sandra bullock
Defying grav-- ♪
40
00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:25,626
Marty:
Guys, guys, I'm sorry,
41
00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:27,878
But we're in the middle of some
Heavy facebook stalking here.
42
00:01:27,878 --> 00:01:29,210
Our old friends
From bayonne
43
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,921
Stopped inviting us
To their parties.
44
00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:32,843
We've just been so preoccupied
With our own lives.
45
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,135
Larry: impossible.
46
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,347
You, debbie weaver,
Thinking only of yourself?
47
00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:37,428
Crazy town.
48
00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:39,310
Marty, maybe we should have
A party,
49
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:40,981
Get the gang
Back together.
50
00:01:40,981 --> 00:01:43,063
It's a great idea, deb,
But a party for what?
51
00:01:43,063 --> 00:01:44,855
I mean,
The super bowl's over.
52
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,937
♪ on the third day of oscar,
My true love gave to me ♪
53
00:01:46,937 --> 00:01:48,899
♪ tom hanks
As captain phillips ♪
54
00:01:48,899 --> 00:01:51,282
♪ and a skinny
Mcconaughey ♪
55
00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:53,994
He only ate
One chicken breast a day.
56
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,616
Now, that is acting.
57
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,239
Let's throw an oscar party!
Reconnect the old gang!
58
00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,870
They'll forget
We ever left bayonne.
59
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,081
It'll be like old times.
60
00:02:01,081 --> 00:02:03,043
Larry:
♪ bradley cooper hustling ♪
61
00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:04,545
♪ robert redford sailing ♪
62
00:02:04,545 --> 00:02:08,209
♪ "12 years a slave" ♪
♪ "12 years a slave" ♪
63
00:02:08,209 --> 00:02:11,422
Not exactly
Like old times.
64
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,923
♪♪♪
65
00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:16,967
♪ we came from outer space
And settled in new jersey ♪
66
00:02:16,967 --> 00:02:20,761
♪ we took names like larry bird
And jackie joyner-kersee ♪
67
00:02:20,761 --> 00:02:22,973
♪ then the humans
Moved next door ♪
68
00:02:22,973 --> 00:02:24,935
♪ started testing
All our limits ♪
69
00:02:24,935 --> 00:02:27,107
♪ so sit right down,
Enjoy the show ♪
70
00:02:27,107 --> 00:02:31,482
♪ we'll be done in 30 minutes ♪
71
00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:33,864
And the dvr is set
For oscar night.
72
00:02:33,864 --> 00:02:36,076
Oh, I'm so excited
To catch up with everyone.
73
00:02:36,076 --> 00:02:38,779
I have never laughed harder
Than at kevin's halloween party.
74
00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:41,121
Oh, god. His lady gaga
Impression is hilarious.
75
00:02:41,121 --> 00:02:42,953
[ both laugh ]
Who? Who's hilarious?
76
00:02:42,953 --> 00:02:44,335
Our friend kevin.
No, no,
77
00:02:44,335 --> 00:02:46,547
I'm your hilarious friend.
Remember?
78
00:02:46,547 --> 00:02:47,918
Me?
79
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,210
Wife, remind them.
80
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,712
Oh, do you remember his bit
About the black box?
81
00:02:51,712 --> 00:02:54,425
Why don't they just make the
Whole plane out of that thing?
82
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,006
He's like
A white jim gaffigan.
[ laughs ]
83
00:02:58,098 --> 00:03:02,643
Okay, let's see if anyone
Has responded to our invite.
84
00:03:02,643 --> 00:03:05,976
Well, this is awkward.
We didn't get our invite yet.
85
00:03:05,976 --> 00:03:07,808
Yeah, we just assumed
You'd show up.
86
00:03:07,808 --> 00:03:10,731
Oh, great. Yeah.
Okay, we'll be there.
87
00:03:11,772 --> 00:03:14,655
Sidney crosby!
Slap shot!
88
00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:16,817
Max!
No house hockey!
89
00:03:16,817 --> 00:03:19,870
But I have to practice.
I've got tryouts this weekend.
90
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:22,583
Oh, my god.
I totally forgot about that.
91
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,034
Hey, mom.
92
00:03:24,034 --> 00:03:26,206
Did you see that I accepted
Your facebook friend request?
93
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,087
Yes! Thanks so much
For doing that --
94
00:03:27,087 --> 00:03:28,499
So, now that we're friends,
95
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,881
I feel totally cool about
Asking you to borrow the car.
96
00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:32,333
I want to go
To an art exhibit.
97
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:35,256
Well, actually, it's a concert,
But it's a kanye concert.
98
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,007
And he is the greatest artist
To walk the planet,
99
00:03:37,007 --> 00:03:39,260
According to kanye.
Fine.
You can use the car
100
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,932
As long as you take your brother
To his hockey tryouts.
101
00:03:41,932 --> 00:03:43,514
You know what?
Take abby with you
102
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,436
Because we have a lot to do
For this party,
103
00:03:45,436 --> 00:03:46,977
And we don't want
Any distractions.
104
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,809
Oh. So, now that
I'm doing you a favor,
105
00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:50,811
I guess there's no more need
To brownnose.
106
00:03:50,811 --> 00:03:52,813
What?
What are you doing?
I'm de-friending you.
107
00:03:52,813 --> 00:03:54,855
De-friend?
Humans do that?
108
00:03:54,855 --> 00:03:56,487
Oh, yeah.
All the time.
109
00:03:58,819 --> 00:04:01,912
Family, thank you all for
Assembling on such short notice.
110
00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:04,204
Make this quick. I have a batch
Of shrinky dinks in the oven.
111
00:04:04,204 --> 00:04:05,496
It's come to
Our attention
112
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,328
That humans
Have no problem
113
00:04:07,328 --> 00:04:10,250
Getting rid of friends
They deem "Unnecessary."
114
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,872
Long story short --
115
00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:13,924
There's a possibility
That we could be de-friended
116
00:04:13,924 --> 00:04:15,175
By the weavers.
117
00:04:15,175 --> 00:04:16,677
[ both gasp ]
They're having an oscar party
118
00:04:16,677 --> 00:04:19,590
In which they're going
To reconnect with
Their old friends.
119
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,011
Jackie:
When the weavers left bayonne,
120
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,843
We thought they had left
Their old life behind them.
121
00:04:22,843 --> 00:04:24,595
But it appears
That their old friends
122
00:04:24,595 --> 00:04:26,387
Hold a very special place
In their hearts --
123
00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:27,768
[ voice breaking ]
A special place
124
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,100
Which may not have room
For us.
125
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:33,354
So we'll cut open their hearts
To make room.
126
00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:34,525
Aren't you guys
Overreacting?
127
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,357
You were invited to the party,
Weren't you?
128
00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:37,528
Only after we asked.
129
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,950
Dear god.
We invited ourselves?
130
00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:41,492
We've become
Those people.
131
00:04:41,492 --> 00:04:43,664
Father, we've always been
Those people.
132
00:04:43,664 --> 00:04:44,905
We must figure out
How to become
133
00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:47,668
As indispensable to the weavers
As oxygen --
134
00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:49,039
Or reality television.
135
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,502
All right, "Operation
Indispensable to the weavers" --
136
00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:53,674
Let's brainstorm.
There are no bad ideas.
137
00:04:53,674 --> 00:04:55,295
Well, we could try to --
That's a terrible idea.
Reggie?
138
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,549
We paint them a wall mural
But work really, really slowly
139
00:04:58,549 --> 00:04:59,880
So every day,
They need us
140
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,262
To come over
And paint just a little more.
141
00:05:02,262 --> 00:05:04,685
That is genius.
142
00:05:04,685 --> 00:05:07,017
But we don't have
Any smocks.
143
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:07,848
Oh, damn it.
Oh, well.
144
00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:09,810
Wife?
145
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,102
If the weavers
Want to throw an oscar party
146
00:05:12,102 --> 00:05:13,694
For their bayonne friends,
147
00:05:13,694 --> 00:05:16,437
Let's help them make it
The best oscar party ever.
148
00:05:16,437 --> 00:05:18,649
Are you saying
What I think you're saying?
149
00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:20,571
I'm only saying the one thing,
So probably.
150
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,242
[ oven dings ]
[ gasps ] My dinks!
151
00:05:22,242 --> 00:05:24,244
[ indistinct conversations ]
152
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:29,289
I bet you sidney crosby
Doesn't have his sisters
153
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:30,501
Cramping his style.
154
00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:32,753
Just lay low
And don't embarrass me.
155
00:05:32,753 --> 00:05:34,835
It smells like feet
In here.
156
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,166
That would be the men.
157
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:37,958
Boy, am I glad
Hockey season's starting.
158
00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:40,090
They started letting girls
On my son's soccer team.
159
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,172
Now it's all, "My cleats
Don't match my ponytail."
160
00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:44,385
Francis:
Thank god for hockey.
161
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:47,017
If I wanted to watch
Women ruining sports,
I'd watch the wnba.
162
00:05:47,017 --> 00:05:48,849
[ laughs ]
Just kidding.
163
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,771
I'd never watch
The wnba.
164
00:05:50,771 --> 00:05:54,314
It's 2014.
Are we still making wnba jokes?
165
00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:56,977
Abby, hear me out.
166
00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:58,899
There comes a time
In every woman's life
167
00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:00,821
When she must put aside
Fear and doubt
168
00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:02,573
And boldly confront
The masculine barriers
169
00:06:02,573 --> 00:06:03,744
That keep us down.
170
00:06:03,744 --> 00:06:06,326
Not following.
Try less words.
171
00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:08,288
There's a glass ceiling
In this hockey rink,
172
00:06:08,288 --> 00:06:09,830
And it needs to be
Shattered.
173
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,452
But glass ceilings are nice.
174
00:06:11,452 --> 00:06:13,874
They let in sunshine,
And you can see the clouds.
Okay, abby,
175
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,916
I need you to sign up for the
Hockey team and beat the boys.
176
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,258
Oh.
Why didn't you say so?
177
00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:25,506
Abby, what are you doing?
178
00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:27,007
My name is abby weaver,
179
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:30,431
And I would like to audition
For your hockey show.
180
00:06:32,853 --> 00:06:33,934
How's it looking, babe?
181
00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:36,106
Not good.
Only two couples are coming.
182
00:06:36,106 --> 00:06:37,608
The rest wrote things like,
183
00:06:37,608 --> 00:06:39,900
"We really wanted to see
Your fancy new house,
184
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,652
"But I guess
It's just another night
185
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,823
In stinkin' bayonne
For us."
186
00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:44,284
They resent us, marty.
187
00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:46,697
We moved on up.
We're the jeffersons.
188
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:48,739
So, what do we do,
Weezie?
189
00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:51,832
I think we need to throw
An old-school bayonne shindig.
190
00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:53,033
That way,
The couples that do come
191
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:54,995
Will go back and tell
Everyone else that we're
192
00:06:54,995 --> 00:06:58,038
The same down-to-earth
Marty and debbie from bayonne.
I'll make bayonne bombers.
193
00:06:58,038 --> 00:06:59,920
Ooh!
Who can resist
Three parts beer,
194
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,502
One part pineapple juice,
And an olive?
195
00:07:01,502 --> 00:07:04,925
[ gasps ] Marty, you know what
This party really needs?
196
00:07:06,637 --> 00:07:08,849
Big deal lasagna?
197
00:07:08,849 --> 00:07:11,351
Five meats, four cheeses,
Three sauces,
198
00:07:11,351 --> 00:07:13,013
Eight delicious layers!
199
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:15,766
Nothing screams "Bayonne" like
Rolling out the b-d-l, baby.
200
00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:17,147
Okay, we only have
A few hours.
201
00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:19,189
If we rush,
We can get back in time
202
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,612
To throw in the lasagna
And ladle some bombers.
Right, dear.
203
00:07:21,612 --> 00:07:23,774
We do a quick trip to the store,
Just get what we need.
204
00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:26,867
A quick trip to the bulk store
Is not possible for us.
205
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:29,239
I didn't need that tire,
But for $39? Come on.
206
00:07:29,239 --> 00:07:30,871
Okay,
Let's pull it together
207
00:07:30,871 --> 00:07:34,124
For a chill, laid-back
Oscar night.
208
00:07:34,124 --> 00:07:35,375
♪♪♪
209
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:36,577
Look, everyone!
210
00:07:36,577 --> 00:07:38,919
It's america's
Favorite couple --
211
00:07:38,919 --> 00:07:40,130
The weavers!
212
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,212
Larry, what's going on?
213
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:46,176
You wanted an oscar party.
We give you the oscar party.
214
00:07:46,176 --> 00:07:48,969
How's that
For indispensable friends?
215
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,511
Why are carrot top
And erik estrada
216
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,892
In our living room?
217
00:07:51,892 --> 00:07:52,933
Oh, my god.
218
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,014
Chips?
219
00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:55,355
[ chuckling ]
Dude, that's classic.
220
00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:58,148
Chips -- didn't need to go
To the trunk for that one.
221
00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,100
What charity
Is this for, again?
222
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,362
I have no idea.
I-I come to everything.
223
00:08:02,362 --> 00:08:04,945
We sent out handwritten
Invitations to 500 celebrities,
224
00:08:04,945 --> 00:08:06,907
And the best two showed up!
225
00:08:06,907 --> 00:08:10,370
Welcome to your star-studded
Oscar party!
226
00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:13,373
Brought to you by
The bird-kersees and magnum!
227
00:08:13,373 --> 00:08:15,616
The ice cream,
Not the condoms.
228
00:08:15,616 --> 00:08:16,617
Enjoy your gift bags!
229
00:08:16,617 --> 00:08:17,998
[ camera shutters clicking ]
230
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,000
Indispensable friends!
Indispensable friends!
231
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,171
Indispensable friends!
232
00:08:21,171 --> 00:08:23,003
Hold on a second.
I got something for you.
233
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,174
Let me see.
234
00:08:24,174 --> 00:08:25,465
Indispensable friends,
Could you find me
235
00:08:25,465 --> 00:08:27,127
A glue gun
And maybe a picture
236
00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:28,839
Of jennifer aniston --
Or courteney cox?
237
00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:30,010
Thanks, marty.
238
00:08:33,894 --> 00:08:35,305
I don't know
What to say.
239
00:08:35,305 --> 00:08:36,727
Aww, we know.
You're welcome.
240
00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:38,228
What the hell is that?
241
00:08:38,228 --> 00:08:40,851
Looks like someone's never seen
A caviar fountain before.
242
00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:42,983
I used to have one of these
In the '80s.
243
00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:47,407
Hello, weavers,
And welcome to your oscar party!
244
00:08:47,407 --> 00:08:48,739
Cue my opening number.
245
00:08:48,739 --> 00:08:50,490
No, dick, they cut your number
For time, remember?
246
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,652
Are you
Freakin' kidding me?!
247
00:08:51,652 --> 00:08:54,915
And now
For a final touch of glamour --
248
00:08:54,915 --> 00:08:57,578
Brad pitt
And angelina jolie...
249
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,869
What?
[ gasps ]
250
00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:01,962
...Look-alikes.
251
00:09:01,962 --> 00:09:03,423
Steve watson
And tina menendez!
252
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:05,375
Marty: well, I mean,
I guess if you squint,
253
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:06,667
They kind of look like them.
254
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,669
Marty, we have to get rid of
All of this stuff
255
00:09:08,669 --> 00:09:10,090
Before
Our friends show up.
256
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:11,431
[ doorbell rings ]
257
00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:16,436
[ indistinct conversations ]
258
00:09:16,436 --> 00:09:20,100
You sure about this?
It gets pretty rough out there.
259
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,773
Max, I've seen
"The little mermaid
On ice" three times.
260
00:09:22,773 --> 00:09:23,854
I think I'll manage.
261
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,577
Poor kid.
262
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,699
Look at this.
263
00:09:38,699 --> 00:09:41,121
Someone's lacing up
Her figure skates.
264
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:43,624
Hey, kyle, there's gonna be
A girl on the ice.
265
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,085
Don't let her
Slow you down.
266
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,007
Her? Please.
267
00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:50,971
Abby, get kyle.
268
00:09:50,971 --> 00:09:52,172
On it.
269
00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:55,595
♪♪♪
270
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:02,983
Hey!
271
00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:16,406
Way to go, abby!
272
00:10:16,406 --> 00:10:18,739
Don't let those boys
Slow you down!
273
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:20,871
Don't worry.
Kyle could always join the wnba.
274
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,085
Kevin:
Oh, this is so fancy.
275
00:10:25,085 --> 00:10:27,507
This is not exactly
What we were expecting.
276
00:10:27,507 --> 00:10:29,880
Yeah, when did you guys start
Hanging out with celebrities?
277
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,881
Debbie: oh, we don't.
278
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,252
I think they know
Our neighbors.
279
00:10:32,252 --> 00:10:34,174
You know us. We're the same
Down-to-earth people.
280
00:10:34,174 --> 00:10:36,596
Yeah, I mean, just because
We don't live in bayonne anymore
281
00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:38,759
Doesn't mean we're not
Bayonne people, right?
282
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:41,141
Can I please
Just get some ice?
283
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,313
"Can I please get some ice?
Can I please get some ice?
284
00:10:43,313 --> 00:10:44,765
[ muffled ]
Can I please get some ice?"
285
00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:46,727
Here. Aghhhh.
It's a party.
286
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:49,109
See? It's like
We never left bayonne, right?
287
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:50,440
Debbie: I hope you guys brought
Your appetites,
288
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,693
'cause guess what I got
In the oven.
289
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,484
Uh-oh.
Did someone make a b-d-l?
290
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:56,867
[ chuckling ]
You got it.
[ gasps ]
291
00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:59,409
Hey, hey, if that stands for
"Big deal latino"
292
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,991
[snaps]
I'm already here.
293
00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,582
Sorry, mr. Estrada.
294
00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:04,995
It stands for
"Big deal lasagna,"
295
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:06,586
And it's gonna be
An even bigger deal
296
00:11:06,586 --> 00:11:07,417
Than you guys even remember.
297
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,749
Marty:
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
298
00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,380
Who wants
A bayonne bomber?
299
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,922
Champagne?
300
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,634
Hey, I haven't had champagne
Since my wedding. This is fancy.
301
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:17,637
Actually, larry, we were just
About to have some bayone --
You must be kevin.
302
00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:20,600
I hear you do a killer
Lady gaga impression.
303
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:21,972
I dabble in impressions
Myself.
304
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,433
[ as marty ] Deb!
305
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,766
[ laughs ]
Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb!
306
00:11:25,766 --> 00:11:27,357
I can't find my pants!
307
00:11:27,357 --> 00:11:29,149
[ normal voice ]
See, I'm marty.
308
00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:30,650
And that's --
That's his wife.
309
00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:32,152
[ as marty ] Deb!
310
00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:35,365
You guys have met
Some new, interesting friends.
311
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:37,367
Don't mind them.
They're just our neighbors.
312
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:38,869
Just neighbors.
313
00:11:38,869 --> 00:11:41,201
Jackie: we've been been such
Indispensable friends.
314
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,372
We've thrown them
315
00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:43,413
The oscar party
To end all oscar parties.
316
00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:44,785
How could this happen?
317
00:11:44,785 --> 00:11:47,587
Okay, listen up, everyone.
Lasagna's almost ready.
318
00:11:47,587 --> 00:11:48,538
Pardon.
319
00:11:48,538 --> 00:11:50,090
Hey, debbie,
320
00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:52,793
I'm gonna need you to clear this
Area for the big dance number.
321
00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:54,214
It's got a really cool finish.
322
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,046
[ pop ]
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
323
00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:58,048
[ gasping ]
324
00:11:58,048 --> 00:11:59,469
Had a really cool finish.
325
00:12:02,642 --> 00:12:06,476
Now, that is what I call
Smashing the glass ceiling.
326
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,768
It wasn't that hard.
327
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,609
I'm pretty sure
I'm the best skater out here.
328
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,773
Great.
329
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,065
Now she's gonna get
The last spot on the team.
330
00:12:15,065 --> 00:12:16,276
Well, she is good.
331
00:12:16,276 --> 00:12:17,527
But for once I wanted to be
332
00:12:17,527 --> 00:12:19,529
The weaver
That's good at something.
333
00:12:19,529 --> 00:12:21,491
I mean,
Abby's good at everything.
334
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,662
[ sighs ]
335
00:12:22,662 --> 00:12:24,704
Now I'll never be
The goodest at anything.
336
00:12:24,704 --> 00:12:26,496
"Goodest" isn't a word.
337
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,669
Yeah, because that's exactly
What I needed to hear right now!
338
00:12:29,669 --> 00:12:33,373
Abby: I am woman!
Watch me score!
339
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,876
Taste it, kyle!
340
00:12:35,876 --> 00:12:38,258
I've created
A feminist monster.
341
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,971
Larry:
And now an interpretive dance
342
00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:43,093
Inspired by the hit movie
"Gravity."
343
00:12:46,436 --> 00:12:47,387
[ sighs ]
344
00:12:47,387 --> 00:12:49,229
♪♪♪
345
00:12:49,229 --> 00:12:50,560
Blast off.
346
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,272
[ imitating rocket engines
Whooshing ]
347
00:12:56,196 --> 00:12:57,397
[ gasps ]
348
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,452
Beep-beep.
Boop-boop-boop-boop.
349
00:13:02,452 --> 00:13:03,613
Beep-beep-beep. Beep.
350
00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:04,704
Beep-beep-boop-boop.
Beep-beep-beep-beep.
351
00:13:04,704 --> 00:13:06,326
Beep-beep.
Boop-boop.
352
00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:07,367
Beep-beep-beep-beep.
353
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:08,538
[ imitates explosion ]
354
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,460
[ gasping ]
355
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,631
No! No!
356
00:13:21,631 --> 00:13:23,844
This party
Has been hijacked, marty.
357
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,306
Our friends
Are gonna go home tonight,
358
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,767
And they are gonna think
We are total weirdos.
359
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:29,479
We're never gonna be invited
To anything ever again!
360
00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:30,560
Don't freak out, deb.
361
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,312
We're gonna get this party
Back on track.
362
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,563
B-d-l, baby.
363
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,734
B-d-l.
364
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,335
Thank god.
[ applause ]
365
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:59,129
Who remembers
This old dish?
366
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,800
B-d-l, baby!
367
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,422
Aw, with all the caviar
And the magnum,
368
00:14:02,422 --> 00:14:03,723
I can't eat
Another bite.
369
00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:06,596
Mm, yeah, I'm so full,
I can't even look at it.
370
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,308
I'm stuffed
Full of entertainment.
371
00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:10,430
That interpretive journey
Of dick and reggie's
372
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:12,182
From space station
To space station
373
00:14:12,182 --> 00:14:14,064
Was a revelation.
All right, that's enough!
374
00:14:14,064 --> 00:14:16,146
This lasagna was
Supposed to remind our friends
375
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,068
Of the time we spent together
In bayonne --
376
00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:22,612
When we got get together
And, you know, ate lasagna.
377
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,484
This isn't about lasagna,
Is it?
378
00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:25,745
No, it's not.
379
00:14:25,745 --> 00:14:27,908
It's about the party,
Which you have ruined.
380
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,990
Oh. We don't deserve that,
Debbie weaver.
381
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:32,582
All we've done is put on
The oscar party of the century
382
00:14:32,582 --> 00:14:34,624
And shown your friends
A good time.
383
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,916
Well, they are not having
A good time.
384
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:37,547
Actually, we're having
A pretty great time.
385
00:14:37,547 --> 00:14:39,089
It's fine, guys.
386
00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:41,341
You don't have to pretend
That this is not weird.
Weird?
387
00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:44,214
Well, all this time,
We were afraid
388
00:14:44,214 --> 00:14:46,386
That you were going
To de-friend us.
389
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,717
Well, status update --
390
00:14:47,717 --> 00:14:49,970
The bird-kersees
Are de-friending the weavers...
391
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,772
And putting an end
To this oscar charade.
392
00:14:52,772 --> 00:14:54,894
Just a spoonful of sugar.
393
00:14:56,356 --> 00:14:57,727
Oh, my god.
394
00:14:57,727 --> 00:14:59,399
What did I miss?
395
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,481
Family! Out!
396
00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:07,827
Now, this is
An awkward pause, huh?
397
00:15:09,369 --> 00:15:10,580
Awkward paws?
398
00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:12,242
Shut up, carrot top!
Shut up, carrot top!
399
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:22,212
Yeah! [ claps ]
Nice shot, abby!
400
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,504
You're a real sidney crosby!
401
00:15:26,506 --> 00:15:29,099
Hear that?
I'm a real bill cosby.
402
00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:31,181
Abby,
This might sound confusing,
403
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,393
But I need you to take a dive
For max --
404
00:15:33,393 --> 00:15:34,934
Just pull back a little.
405
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,187
What about shattering glass
With woman power?
406
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,269
Well, all those things
Still apply.
407
00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:42,152
But just this once,
We're gonna make an exception
408
00:15:42,152 --> 00:15:43,403
'cause he's your brother.
409
00:15:43,403 --> 00:15:44,404
I don't know.
410
00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:46,866
You can't put a lid
On greatness.
411
00:15:49,029 --> 00:15:53,243
Hey, we didn't mean
For this party to get so crazy.
412
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,245
I mean, all of this --
It's not really us.
413
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:58,128
Our neighbors can get
A little out of hand sometimes.
414
00:15:58,128 --> 00:15:59,669
Ah, don't worry about it.
We got to get going anyway.
415
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,881
I don't trust my wife
Around estrada.
416
00:16:01,881 --> 00:16:03,083
Yeah, he's my hall pass.
417
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:04,254
Wait a minute.
You guys are leaving?
418
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,675
I mean, the oscars
Haven't even started yet.
419
00:16:05,675 --> 00:16:07,217
Kevin: yeah, I got to get
To work in the morning,
420
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,589
And the drive back
Is really long.
421
00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:11,761
Plus, the turnpike is horrible
On sunday.
422
00:16:11,761 --> 00:16:14,054
I wish you guys
Wouldn't have moved so far away.
423
00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:15,225
What?
424
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,476
I mean,
We thought you guys
425
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,059
Didn't invite us
To parties in bayonne anymore
426
00:16:19,059 --> 00:16:21,481
Because you didn't
Want to hang out with us.
427
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,484
No, we just assumed you didn't
Want to make the drive back.
428
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,277
But it seems like you've made
Some really great new friends.
429
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:29,279
Yeah,
And they're so creative and fun.
430
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,111
You must never be bored.
431
00:16:31,111 --> 00:16:33,573
Yeah, well, there's actually
Never a dull moment around here.
432
00:16:33,573 --> 00:16:35,205
Justine:
Yeah, I mean, that reggie kid
433
00:16:35,205 --> 00:16:38,248
Choreographed a heart-wrenching
Interpretive dance using silks.
434
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,419
I mean, who does that?
435
00:16:39,419 --> 00:16:41,211
Pretty much only them.
436
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,713
That was pretty amazing,
Actually.
437
00:16:43,713 --> 00:16:46,796
I wish I had friends who would
Throw a party like this for me.
438
00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:49,129
Well, crap.
439
00:16:49,129 --> 00:16:50,800
We are the worst,
Aren't we?
440
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,841
We are.
441
00:16:51,841 --> 00:16:53,133
[ sighs ]
442
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:59,099
[ pat benatar's
"Fire and ice" plays ]
443
00:17:05,105 --> 00:17:09,069
♪ fire and ice ♪
444
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:13,153
♪ you come on like a flame,
Then you turn a cold shoulder ♪
445
00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:17,157
♪ fire and ice ♪
446
00:17:17,157 --> 00:17:18,618
♪ I wanna give you my love ♪
447
00:17:18,618 --> 00:17:23,333
♪ but you'll just take
A little piece of my heart ♪
448
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:27,587
♪ you'll just tear it apart ♪
449
00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:32,051
♪ I've seen you
Burn 'em before ♪
450
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,975
♪ fire and ice ♪
451
00:17:35,975 --> 00:17:40,059
♪ you come on like a flame
Then you turn a cold shoulder ♪
452
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,732
♪ fire and ice ♪
453
00:17:42,732 --> 00:17:46,065
♪ I wanna give you my love ♪
454
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:50,190
♪ but you'll just take
A little piece of my heart ♪
455
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,611
Yeah!
456
00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:55,115
All right, max!
457
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,157
Good shot, max!
Woman: go, weaver!
458
00:17:59,038 --> 00:18:01,621
[ indistinct conversations ]
459
00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:04,624
We're good sisters.
460
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:06,756
The goodest.
461
00:18:06,756 --> 00:18:08,968
Jackie: who is it?
462
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,510
It's us.
Larry: us who?
463
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,011
It's marty and debbie.
464
00:18:12,011 --> 00:18:13,303
Marty and debbie --
465
00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:16,136
Oh, you mean our acquaintances
From next door?
466
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,347
Open the door, larry.
467
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:22,222
Guys, look,
We messed up, okay?
468
00:18:22,222 --> 00:18:23,773
We're really,
Really sorry.
469
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:25,104
How could you do that?
470
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,728
And on oscar sunday, no less.
I don't understand.
471
00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:30,190
You're right.
472
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:32,612
We were totally focused on doing
Things for our old friends
473
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,194
That we failed
To appreciate
474
00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:36,736
All the wonderful things
You guys did for us.
475
00:18:36,736 --> 00:18:40,039
They were pretty wonderful,
And you didn't even get to
476
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:42,872
The poorly edited
"Tribute to editing" montage.
477
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,705
So, what do you say we spend
Some quality time together
478
00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:48,087
Watching the greatest
Awards show on television
479
00:18:48,087 --> 00:18:49,549
With our greatest friends?
480
00:18:49,549 --> 00:18:51,171
She means us, right?
481
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,512
Yes!
482
00:18:52,512 --> 00:18:55,675
You guys are a very big deal.
You're our lasagna.
483
00:18:55,675 --> 00:18:58,388
What about your friends
From bayonne?
484
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,680
Oh, they left early
Because the drive was so far.
485
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,523
It turns out that's why
They stopped inviting
Us to their parties.
486
00:19:03,523 --> 00:19:05,225
It was a lot easier
487
00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:07,357
Thinking it was because
We were too fancy,
488
00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:10,320
But it's rough to find
Out that we're just
Not worth the drive.
489
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,942
I'm really sorry
To hear that.
490
00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:15,074
I'm not.
They're idiots.
491
00:19:15,074 --> 00:19:17,076
Larry?
Yeah, they're idiots.
492
00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:19,239
I mean, if they don't come
And visit you because it's
Too far, then they're idiots.
493
00:19:19,239 --> 00:19:20,830
There's no drive
Too long
494
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:23,243
That would prevent us
From coming to visit you.
495
00:19:23,243 --> 00:19:24,954
[ gasps ]
♪ stronger together ♪
496
00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:26,786
We would go
To the ends of the universe
497
00:19:26,786 --> 00:19:28,248
To see
Our best friends.
498
00:19:28,248 --> 00:19:30,500
♪ we'll carry on ♪
499
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,672
There's nowhere you could go
Where we wouldn't find you --
500
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,295
Literally nowhere.
♪ we'll be forever ♪
501
00:19:35,295 --> 00:19:39,008
Wherever you go,
We will find you.
502
00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:41,511
You'll never get away
From us.
♪ where we belong ♪
503
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:46,145
Those tracking devices
We implanted will help.
♪ where we belong ♪
504
00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:48,268
We'll just -- we'll deal --
We'll deal with that later.
505
00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:49,859
Guys, let's go watch
The oscars.
♪ ooh, stronger together ♪
506
00:19:49,859 --> 00:19:51,441
[ chuckles ]
507
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:53,523
I can't wait to see what the
Phone from "Her" is wearing.
508
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,405
♪ I believe in you ♪
509
00:19:58,778 --> 00:20:00,119
You know, the caviar
510
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,030
Really brings out the flavor
Of these corn chips.
511
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:02,282
Chip?
Yes?
512
00:20:02,282 --> 00:20:03,823
That never gets old,
Probably, huh?
513
00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:06,456
None for me.
I'm watching my weight.
514
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,327
Dick: nice!
515
00:20:07,327 --> 00:20:08,328
Ginger pound.
516
00:20:08,328 --> 00:20:10,630
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
517
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:12,542
Facebook friends photo,
Anyone?
518
00:20:12,542 --> 00:20:15,214
Aww, jackie,
That's exactly what I wanted.
519
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,046
Quick. Before the "In memoriam"
Montage starts
520
00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:18,097
And I mess my face.
521
00:20:18,097 --> 00:20:19,218
From soup to nuts,
522
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,341
This has been an oscar day
To remember.
523
00:20:21,341 --> 00:20:23,843
[ squeals ]
524
00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:26,646
Hands off, ponch.
525
00:20:26,646 --> 00:20:28,608
Photo bomb!
526
00:20:28,608 --> 00:20:31,020
All:
Shut up, carrot top!
39756
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