All language subtitles for The Neighbors (2012) S01E21 Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems (1080p AMZN Webrip x265 10bit EAC3 5.1 - TheSickle)[TAoE]_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,234
And bam!
The guy comes outta nowhere.
2
00:00:03,234 --> 00:00:05,376
You know how quiet
Those priuses can be.
3
00:00:05,376 --> 00:00:07,078
It was parked.
4
00:00:07,078 --> 00:00:09,110
Parked quietly.
Uh-huh.
5
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,182
I don't know what's going on
With me this week.
6
00:00:11,182 --> 00:00:12,483
First,
There was the parking ticket.
7
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,515
Then it was the incident
At the shoe store.
8
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,047
What incident?
9
00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:18,149
Well, I was having feelings,
And so I bought some shoes.
10
00:00:18,149 --> 00:00:19,320
Oh, boy.
11
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,551
More than "Some."
12
00:00:20,551 --> 00:00:22,553
An entire section.
Bill's coming.
13
00:00:22,553 --> 00:00:24,024
But before you say anything,
14
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,357
I'm gonna pay for it
With my own money.
15
00:00:26,357 --> 00:00:27,528
What are you talking about?
How you gonna--
16
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,631
I was thinking that maybe
17
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,663
To earn, I c--
Oh, no.
18
00:00:32,663 --> 00:00:35,336
Please don't tell me you're
Gonna do the purse thing again.
19
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:36,807
Thing?
Hobby?
20
00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:39,510
Business?
Because it broke even.
21
00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:41,742
Even?
Almost even.
22
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,574
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not gonna make new ones.
23
00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:47,148
I just thought I'd sell
The ones I have left over.
24
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,419
You know what?
Let's have a garage sale!
25
00:00:48,419 --> 00:00:51,252
No. Honey, we don't have to
Sell off our old junk, okay?
26
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,654
I'll just pay for the repairs.
My money is our money.
27
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,188
Our money is my money.
That feels worse.
28
00:00:57,188 --> 00:00:59,760
Uh, the money...
Okay, it's just money
29
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,762
That we have--
We're gonna have a garage sale.
30
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,194
Yeah.
31
00:01:04,535 --> 00:01:06,367
So while people are
Picking through our old crap
32
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,668
In the front yard,
33
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,101
You might wanna give
The heads-up to the other aliens
34
00:01:10,101 --> 00:01:12,103
To stay inside, maybe keep
The strange to a minimum.
35
00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:13,374
Yes, 'cause there's
Nothing strange
36
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,207
About humans picking through
Your old crap.
37
00:01:16,207 --> 00:01:18,149
Ba-zing!
38
00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:20,181
Oh.
Dick's been watching reruns
39
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,153
Of your old
Late night talk shows.
40
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:24,315
He's decided he wants to be
A sidekick someday.
41
00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:26,457
Hey-o!
Help me, debbie weaver.
42
00:01:26,457 --> 00:01:28,789
I'm one ba-zing away
From blowing my brains out.
43
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,462
Well, jackie, I could use
Your help dealing with the money
44
00:01:31,462 --> 00:01:32,593
For the sale.
45
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,094
I have this mental block
With business.
46
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,396
My whole family has it.
47
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,328
And yet every one of them wanted
To start their own business.
48
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:40,201
Yeah. My dad drive two different
Companies into the ground,
49
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,473
And my brothers helped him.
We're bad with numbers.
50
00:01:42,473 --> 00:01:44,205
Last time they tried
To figure out a tip,
51
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:47,808
It took so long they had to stay
For a second meal.
52
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,710
(slurps)
53
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,542
Uh-huh. So, jackie,
What do you say?
54
00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,644
I'd love it if you worked
The cashbox.
55
00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:55,846
(gasps) work?
I'd love to work.
56
00:01:55,846 --> 00:01:58,118
Don't be absurd.
You're a female.
57
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,790
You can't work
Outside the home.
58
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,552
You know,
For an evolved species,
59
00:02:01,552 --> 00:02:04,124
Your idea of gender roles
Is very outdated.
60
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,597
Actually, debbie,
It's a matter of safety.
61
00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:09,129
Zabvronian females
Lack a skin enzyme
62
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,302
That we males are born with.
63
00:02:11,302 --> 00:02:12,563
As a result, on our planet,
64
00:02:12,563 --> 00:02:14,635
The women can't go outside
The house
65
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,337
Or they get burned alive
By our atmosphere.
66
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,608
(imitates explosion)
67
00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:19,670
Well, larry, women can
Go outside on earth, so--
68
00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:21,742
Oh, doesn't mean they have
Any business in the workplace.
69
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:22,913
Men are better at it.
70
00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:25,746
We command more respect.
We are born leaders.
71
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,248
Put a cork in it,
Four-eyes.
72
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,149
I'd love to sell
Your old crap,
73
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,381
And you can't stop me.
74
00:02:30,381 --> 00:02:33,884
Jackie joyner-kersee,
Everybody!
75
00:02:35,426 --> 00:02:39,290
And now a word from
The good people at texaco.
76
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:49,270
♪♪♪
77
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,202
This is today?
78
00:02:51,202 --> 00:02:52,503
We're having the sale now?
79
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:54,205
Wow, marty,
80
00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:56,207
You've really gotta start paying
More attention around here.
81
00:02:56,207 --> 00:02:57,508
Deb, there's way too much
To keep track of.
(sighs deeply)
82
00:02:57,508 --> 00:03:00,611
Okay, there's you, amber, max,
Abby, aliens next door.
83
00:03:00,611 --> 00:03:02,553
Everybody's got
All these little things.
84
00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:04,255
So a customer approaches,
85
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:05,386
And I'm supposed to see how much
Money I can get for this?
86
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,688
No, no, no, no, no.
I wanna do these puzzles.
87
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,189
When are you gonna do
The puzzles?
88
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,421
All right, you know how
I'm always looking
89
00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:12,563
For that father and son thing
To do with max?
90
00:03:12,563 --> 00:03:14,495
Maybe doing puzzles
Is our thing.
91
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,567
It's not our thing.
It's gonna be our thing.
92
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:17,668
You can't just pick a thing!
93
00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:20,701
Our thing has been picked.
So now move. Go!
94
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,972
(gasps) ooh, jackie.
Mm?
95
00:03:21,972 --> 00:03:23,904
I think we have
Our first customer.
Oh!
96
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,836
Hi.
97
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:27,238
This is quite the racquet
You've got here.
98
00:03:27,238 --> 00:03:29,340
It's not a racket, sir.
It's a garage sale.
99
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:31,582
And everything is
Completely above board!
100
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:32,843
The racquet.
101
00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:34,715
I'll give you ten bucks
For it?
102
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,217
Grandma's painting of max.
103
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,250
Somebody, this will
Be evidence in a trial.
104
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:42,222
(laughing) amber weaver,
You make me laugh,
105
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,224
Even when I know
I shouldn't.
106
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,296
(continues laughing)
107
00:03:45,296 --> 00:03:47,428
There's
My favorite boyfriend!
108
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,400
Oh! (giggles)
109
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,561
Great painting.
110
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,703
(stifling laugh)
111
00:03:52,703 --> 00:03:54,435
What?
112
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,707
Nothing.
It's an inside joke.
113
00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:59,940
But we're outside,
So it's an outside joke.
114
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,843
(giggles)
(groans loudly)
115
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,375
(horn honks)
116
00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,817
Oh, my god. Why is jeremy here?
117
00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,349
(car door closes)
Because he's your boyfriend.
118
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,720
No, they broke up.
119
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,282
What? You didn't tell me that.
120
00:04:11,282 --> 00:04:12,553
It's totally over.
121
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,425
Everyone knows it.
He just won't go away.
122
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:15,956
He's like "American idol."
123
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,329
(laughing)
Yes?
124
00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:19,360
I got good news for you,
Dude.
125
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,462
I'm ready to take you back.
126
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,365
I have bad news for you,
Ma'am.
127
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,266
I broke up with you.
128
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,868
It's over, jeremy.
129
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,441
Amber, we can work this out.
130
00:04:30,441 --> 00:04:31,972
You said you like
"American idol."
131
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,474
Shh!
132
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,878
Please, dad.
Puzzles are so boring.
133
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,351
Max, when we finish, we're gonna
Put a layer of glue on it,
134
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:41,912
We're gonna hang it
On the wall--
135
00:04:41,912 --> 00:04:43,454
I'm done.
136
00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:46,557
Wow.
137
00:04:46,557 --> 00:04:49,360
Well, that was fun. See ya.
138
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,991
No, no, no, no. Wait, max.
139
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,393
You want me to do
The other one?
140
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,465
No, the point isn't
How fast we can do it.
141
00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:56,367
The point is--
Done.
142
00:04:58,469 --> 00:04:59,970
How did you do that?
143
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,772
(whispers) that's insane.
144
00:05:04,435 --> 00:05:07,408
No. I'm not going above 8%.
145
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:08,739
Are you looking for anything
In particular?
146
00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:10,481
Ooh. I did not like that.
147
00:05:10,481 --> 00:05:11,812
You're not gonna screw me.
148
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,944
Go find somebody else to sell
Your cheap dumb quilts, mom.
149
00:05:13,944 --> 00:05:15,315
(disconnects call)
Uh...
150
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,447
Can we help you
Find something?
151
00:05:16,447 --> 00:05:17,948
Stop. Purse. Love.
152
00:05:17,948 --> 00:05:19,450
Oh. Thank you.
(exhales)
153
00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:21,091
I made them myself.
154
00:05:21,091 --> 00:05:22,693
It started out
As something fun,
155
00:05:22,693 --> 00:05:24,495
And then I tried turning it
Into a business.
156
00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:25,456
(whispers) wow.
But, um...
157
00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:26,927
(normal voice)
That is really boring.
158
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,499
Not interested
In your personal life.
159
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:29,660
What are these made of?
160
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,602
My kids' old clothes.
Oh!
161
00:05:31,602 --> 00:05:33,464
These were
Abby's old overalls...
Okay.
162
00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:35,366
Sewn in--
Sleeping. Eyes open,
But I'm asleep.
163
00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:36,807
Let me ask you a question.
164
00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:38,669
I have a booth at
The buyer's mart on monday.
165
00:05:38,669 --> 00:05:40,010
I could sell all of these.
166
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,642
I'll give you 25 bucks
For all 11.
167
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,374
$30 each.
What?
168
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:44,715
I said $30 each.
169
00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:46,677
10 bucks each, but I need
An extra 5 by monday.
170
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:48,348
$25 each and she'll make you
An extra 10.
171
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,980
Done.
172
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:51,952
It's really wonderful to see
Women supporting one another.
173
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,454
I know. It's a sense
Of community--
174
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,386
Okay, she's walking away.
175
00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:56,527
Oh, my god, jackie!
(laughs)
176
00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:59,390
You were amazing!
I love business!
177
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,462
How much
For this lanyard bracelet?
178
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,693
$146,000.
179
00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:09,870
This is what my life's
Been missing, jackie.
(scanner beeping)
180
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,973
I feel like myself again,
Doing what I went to school for.
181
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,975
You went to school
For talking about yourself?
182
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,477
No. Design.
183
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,648
(whispers) oh.
184
00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:18,909
I knew this business
Could be something.
185
00:06:18,909 --> 00:06:20,751
It was just missing
An important ingredient--
186
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:21,882
You.
187
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,754
Oh. We make a great team.
188
00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:26,457
That'll be $535.
189
00:06:26,457 --> 00:06:29,820
Uh-oh. Are we spending more
Than we're earning?
190
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:31,792
$25 times 11 purses,
191
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,994
And then we're gonna add
The ten new purses,
192
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,497
And then carry the 5...
193
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,429
Ohh. This is what I inherit
From my family--
194
00:06:38,429 --> 00:06:40,431
Not my mom's tight can,
Not my father's feet.
195
00:06:40,431 --> 00:06:42,473
I hope I don't pass it on
To my kids.
196
00:06:42,473 --> 00:06:44,835
Oh, my god! Abby! (gasps)
197
00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:46,006
(dials)
198
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,438
(cell phone rings)
199
00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:48,609
What's up, babe?
200
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,912
I totally spaced on
Abby's sunshine scout meeting.
201
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,984
They're dropping the girls off
Any minute.
202
00:06:53,984 --> 00:06:55,586
Watch 'em till I get there.
203
00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:56,917
Oh, no, I can't, babe.
204
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,789
I'm all the way downtown
At the puzzle store buying glue.
205
00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:00,851
Okay, marty, that is so sad
I hope that is a lie
206
00:07:00,851 --> 00:07:02,553
And that you're really
At a strip club.
207
00:07:02,553 --> 00:07:04,725
Nope.
I'm at the puzizzle stizzle
208
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,627
Getting more glizzle
And some more puzizzles
209
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,529
'cause dick did 'em all.
210
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,500
(beep)
(sighs)
211
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,031
Marty can't watch them.
212
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,464
Hello?
213
00:07:13,464 --> 00:07:15,435
I'll call larry.
He's a man of leisure.
214
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,907
He never does anything.
215
00:07:16,907 --> 00:07:19,109
Larry watchin' little girls?
216
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:21,011
What's that look like?
217
00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:22,673
Ohh.
Mnh.
218
00:07:22,673 --> 00:07:26,847
We're supposed to be talking
About badges.
219
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,879
What are we doing?
220
00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:31,081
What your mothers are
Supposed to be doing--
221
00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:33,854
Preparing you for your future,
Little women.
222
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,455
This is how you will spend
Your days--
223
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,787
In the kitchen,
224
00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:40,060
Quietly waiting for your
Husbands to come home from work.
225
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:44,535
Don't... Get... Fat.
226
00:07:44,535 --> 00:07:45,936
(door closes)
Girls?
227
00:07:45,936 --> 00:07:47,568
I'm sorry. What's going on?
228
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:48,739
He said that we had to learn
229
00:07:48,739 --> 00:07:51,642
How to wait for our husbands
To come home.
230
00:07:51,642 --> 00:07:53,043
What? Larry.
231
00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:54,204
(jackie) great, jill.
232
00:07:54,204 --> 00:07:56,046
Well, we're very excited.
233
00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:58,749
You've been so--hello?
234
00:07:58,749 --> 00:08:00,480
J-jill?
235
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,481
Okay.
236
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,653
Wonderful news.
237
00:08:02,653 --> 00:08:05,055
I was able to up the price
To $35 a purse.
238
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,658
We're officially
Turning a profit.
Oh!
239
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:10,260
Larry, take a look at this.
240
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,863
This is women working.
Mm-hmm!
241
00:08:12,863 --> 00:08:14,164
We just have to get her
50 purses instead of 20
242
00:08:14,164 --> 00:08:15,495
By monday.
243
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,227
50 purses by monday?
244
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:18,629
W--you said we needed
More money.
245
00:08:18,629 --> 00:08:20,831
Oh, jackie, we're in
Way over our heads.
246
00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:22,803
Oh. I'm not cut out for this.
247
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,606
No, no. It's my fault.
I'm poison.
248
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,878
(gasps) no!
I'm no good with numbers!
I'm no good with business!
249
00:08:27,878 --> 00:08:29,039
(jackie) no, no, no!
I should've asked.
250
00:08:29,039 --> 00:08:30,611
Scouts, watch closely.
251
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,743
Women working.
252
00:08:32,743 --> 00:08:35,746
(debbie) I failed once.
I'm gonna fail again.
(jackie) no, you're not.
253
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,791
And we're back!
254
00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,122
Dick, stop sidekicking.
255
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,294
Jackie, I don't care if
We have to stay up all night.
256
00:08:44,294 --> 00:08:47,197
We are making those purses.
257
00:08:47,197 --> 00:08:48,559
(gasps) ooh!
258
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:49,730
(opener rattles)
259
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,302
And here's
The most important tool.
260
00:08:52,302 --> 00:08:54,865
Larry,
How you doing in there?
261
00:08:54,865 --> 00:08:56,536
Riveted.
262
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,969
And now you braid
The three braids
263
00:08:58,969 --> 00:09:00,771
Into one big braid.
264
00:09:00,771 --> 00:09:03,243
(scoffs)
Good luck with that.
265
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,616
Like that?
266
00:09:05,616 --> 00:09:07,748
Oh, my.
267
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,650
It's actually working--
268
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,922
Braiding the braids.
269
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:16,156
That's really thinking
Outside the box.
270
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,227
Tanner, my god!
271
00:09:17,227 --> 00:09:20,060
Is that a fishtail french twist?
(gasps)
272
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,932
Do you know how long
273
00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:24,194
I've been trying to teach dick
To do a fishtail french twist?
274
00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:26,667
See? We can do stuff.
275
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,338
So can you please help us
Earn some badges
276
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:30,771
So we don't waste our whole day?
277
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:34,074
Oh, I want to say "No,"
278
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,807
But your 12 little eyes
Are working overtime.
279
00:09:36,807 --> 00:09:40,010
Even tanner's lazy one is
Pulling at my heartstrings.
280
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:43,053
Is she looking at me?
Is she looking at the wall?
281
00:09:43,053 --> 00:09:45,085
I don't know
And I don't care!
282
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,917
Ladies, to your feet.
283
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,288
Perhaps with a man in charge...
(door closes)
284
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:51,061
This troop can make something
Of themselves.
285
00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:53,063
Hey, lar. You guys wanna
Help us do some puzzles?
286
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:55,025
Guess again, asshat.
287
00:09:55,025 --> 00:09:58,328
Come on, lady army.
Let's get our badges on.
288
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:01,802
He just call me "Asshat"?
289
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:05,936
♪♪♪
290
00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:07,037
Okay.
291
00:10:09,239 --> 00:10:10,881
(mouths words)
292
00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:12,743
(thud)
Ow!
293
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,347
And we are...
294
00:10:17,347 --> 00:10:19,219
Done! (gasps)
295
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,821
49 to go.
296
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,152
We're never gonna make it!
297
00:10:22,152 --> 00:10:24,194
Not a chance in hell.
298
00:10:24,194 --> 00:10:25,255
(exhales deeply)
299
00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:27,197
Maybe larry bird was right.
300
00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:29,359
We just aren't cut out
For work.
301
00:10:29,359 --> 00:10:32,632
Oh, well, don't go there.
This isn't about women working.
302
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,135
There are plenty of
Successful women in business--
303
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,907
Oprah.
Oh, her network is a failure.
304
00:10:36,907 --> 00:10:39,039
Martha stewart.
Jailbird.
305
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,712
Okay, jackie, we're not failing
Because we're women.
306
00:10:41,712 --> 00:10:43,914
We're failing because
We're failures.
307
00:10:43,914 --> 00:10:46,246
Now you're just trying
To make me feel better.
308
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:49,680
And you're gonna make me
Feel better.
309
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,282
(dance music playing)
I've led many revolutions,
310
00:10:52,282 --> 00:10:54,154
But never one
Through dance dance.
311
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,027
Husband, what are you doing?
(pauses game)
312
00:10:57,027 --> 00:10:58,388
These beautiful creatures
313
00:10:58,388 --> 00:11:00,390
Have already earned
Four badges today,
314
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:02,092
And they did it
With a joie de vivre
315
00:11:02,092 --> 00:11:03,093
And a sense of silliness
316
00:11:03,093 --> 00:11:05,195
That our boys have never
Come close to exhibiting.
317
00:11:05,195 --> 00:11:08,268
Oh, husband, I'm so glad that
Someone is having some joie,
318
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,840
Because you were right.
319
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,401
I should never have become
Involved in work.
320
00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,173
I messed it all up.
321
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,846
I'm sure you didn't,
Mrs. Joyner-kersee.
322
00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:17,748
Oh, that is so sweet.
323
00:11:17,748 --> 00:11:19,149
You help each other.
324
00:11:19,149 --> 00:11:21,251
You girls are wonderful.
325
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:23,113
I'll play solo against
The computer.
326
00:11:23,113 --> 00:11:25,756
(resumes game)
Ooh!
327
00:11:25,756 --> 00:11:27,217
You're good.
328
00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:31,191
Can't dick
Just do this one also?
329
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,724
No. Then we don't feel
That sense of accomplishment
330
00:11:33,724 --> 00:11:35,866
When all the pieces
Fall into place.
331
00:11:35,866 --> 00:11:37,197
Hey, baby.
332
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,000
Jeremy called. Three times.
He came by twice.
333
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,171
(amber) what?
334
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:43,133
What's the matter, kiddo?
Can I help?
335
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:45,035
I don't know. Can you?
336
00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:48,138
I'm trying to decide if I should
Settle for the guy who likes me
337
00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:50,210
Or go with
The guy I really like
338
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,412
Even though
He's seeing someone.
339
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,244
What do you got?
340
00:11:56,286 --> 00:11:59,089
Clowns.
341
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,150
You see? What was that?
342
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,022
Yeah, everything moves so fast
Around here.
343
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,724
I wish it would just slow down
So I could see the whole field.
344
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,497
You know, like when you're
In the zone in football.
345
00:12:07,497 --> 00:12:09,159
You played football?
346
00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:11,001
No, but I heard dan marino
Say it once,
347
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,063
And I thought it was awesome.
348
00:12:13,063 --> 00:12:14,334
Maybe I should get deb.
349
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,937
You sure?
Because leaving it to mom
350
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,738
Won't... (deep voice) "Give you
That feeling of accomplishment
351
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,241
When all the pieces
Fall into place."
352
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,143
Is that me?
Yeah.
353
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,875
(plays rimshot)
354
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,216
Trying out props.
355
00:12:26,216 --> 00:12:27,377
(doorbell ringing)
(jill) hello?!
356
00:12:27,377 --> 00:12:29,249
It's for me! I'll get it!
357
00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:32,783
Hi!
Well, hi.
358
00:12:32,783 --> 00:12:35,155
Shh! Not you.
359
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,456
I say you get the procedure.
360
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,158
You won't have a face
For 11 days, but when you heal,
361
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,760
You'll look like your own baby.
All right, I gotta go.
362
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,233
My turn? I wasn't expecting you
Till monday.
363
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:45,295
Like I care. Schedules change.
Give me the purses.
364
00:12:45,295 --> 00:12:47,197
Okay, here's the thing--
Debbie weaver!
365
00:12:47,197 --> 00:12:49,199
Before you say another word,
I have something to show you.
366
00:12:49,199 --> 00:12:51,201
I think you'll both
Be very pleased.
367
00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:53,103
It really is about
Women helping women.
368
00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:57,808
Larry's scout meeting
Gave me the idea. Come see.
369
00:12:57,808 --> 00:13:00,150
(whirring)
There was a problem with
Production at the beginning,
370
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,312
But I've solved it.
Behold!
371
00:13:02,312 --> 00:13:06,356
(debbie) oh, my god.
372
00:13:06,356 --> 00:13:07,958
I was wrong.
373
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:09,489
Women should work.
374
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,362
Oh, my god.
Uh-huh.
375
00:13:12,362 --> 00:13:14,024
Their fingers are so little,
376
00:13:14,024 --> 00:13:16,366
They can put the snaps on
Much more quickly.
377
00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:17,527
(pounds metal tabletop)
378
00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:20,300
Please tell me these are
Very small 18 year olds.
379
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,432
Oh, my god.
I'm running' a sweatshop.
380
00:13:29,339 --> 00:13:32,282
(debbie) no, no, no, no.
Girls, stop. Just stop.
381
00:13:32,282 --> 00:13:35,345
I am not a part of this.
I was never here.
382
00:13:35,345 --> 00:13:38,348
And you--this isn't my fault.
Stop looking at me.
383
00:13:38,348 --> 00:13:40,420
I'm looking at the wall.
384
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,092
The deal is off.
385
00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:43,193
Jill, wait!
386
00:13:43,193 --> 00:13:45,355
Okay. Good-bye, dreams.
387
00:13:45,355 --> 00:13:48,929
Okay, girls, why don't you go
Back over to my house?
388
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,400
And I'll help you earn...
(garage door whirring)
389
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,303
The "How to lie to your parents
About what happened here" badge.
390
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,337
I see sunlight.
391
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:01,041
Air. Sweet, sweet air.
392
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,443
Why is it so hot in here?
393
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,445
Makes their fingers
More pliable.
394
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,416
Oh, my god.
395
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,577
I thought this would be
A good thing.
396
00:14:07,577 --> 00:14:09,049
We're solving our problem.
397
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,321
Totally changed my mind
About women working.
398
00:14:11,321 --> 00:14:13,023
They're not women, larry.
They're children.
399
00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:14,354
Now if you'll excuse me,
400
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,957
I'm gonna make
Some preemptive apology calls
401
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,628
To five sets of parents.
And after that,
402
00:14:18,628 --> 00:14:21,932
I'm gonna take a bath
In chardonnay and cheese popcorn
403
00:14:21,932 --> 00:14:24,334
While marty says "I told ya so."
404
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:26,166
Adieu.
405
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,368
Hey, I got a piece.
I got one, too.
406
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,340
Maybe puzzles
Really is our thing.
(chuckles)
407
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:32,342
We can do this.
(door closes)
408
00:14:32,342 --> 00:14:34,004
Oh. Hey, girls.
409
00:14:34,004 --> 00:14:36,346
I think I have carpal tunnel.
410
00:14:36,346 --> 00:14:37,978
Hey-o! That's what she said!
411
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,150
Hey, buddy,
Sometimes less is more.
412
00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:42,352
(jeremy) amber! Amber!
413
00:14:42,352 --> 00:14:45,315
Seriously?!
Hey! How are all men idiots?
414
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:47,487
All men are not idiots.
415
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,618
(snaps)
(grunts)
416
00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:51,992
I mean, well, not all men.
417
00:14:53,423 --> 00:14:55,465
Yep. Idiots.
418
00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:58,328
Dude, before
You embarrass yourself,
419
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,230
I would just...
420
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:02,402
And I see I am too late.
421
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,405
Good god, man. Why am I
On the hood of your car?
422
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,277
And why am I latina?
423
00:15:07,277 --> 00:15:08,578
Technically, it's selena.
424
00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:11,441
The guys at the detail place
Only paint dead latin pop stars,
425
00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:14,214
And you looked more like her
Than ritchie valens.
426
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,915
Pretty romantic, right?
427
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,587
(giselle) hi, everyone!
428
00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,289
Amazing paint job, jeremy.
429
00:15:19,289 --> 00:15:21,021
I love eva longoria, too!
Thanks.
430
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,653
You guys are back together.
Since when?
431
00:15:23,653 --> 00:15:27,197
Today.
You are completely insane.
432
00:15:27,197 --> 00:15:29,559
Are you back together?
433
00:15:29,559 --> 00:15:31,501
Dude, wait!
434
00:15:31,501 --> 00:15:33,103
Dude, wait.
435
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,364
Dude, wait!
436
00:15:34,364 --> 00:15:36,466
Amber! Just...
437
00:15:36,466 --> 00:15:38,308
Hear me out.
438
00:15:38,308 --> 00:15:41,341
I, like... Miss us.
439
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,143
(girls) aw!
440
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,215
Really? I don't need
A studio audience.
441
00:15:45,215 --> 00:15:46,316
(girls) aw.
442
00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,518
Jeremy, you have to
Listen to me.
443
00:15:48,518 --> 00:15:50,050
There is no "Us."
444
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,081
There's no "Us"?
445
00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:53,123
I mean, you.
446
00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:54,284
That's great news.
447
00:15:54,284 --> 00:15:55,425
Why is that great news?
448
00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:58,728
(amber) which part is confusing?
"Break" or "Up"?
449
00:15:58,728 --> 00:16:00,560
Amber, let me know
If you need me.
450
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,134
Marty, there's no easy way
To say this.
451
00:16:04,134 --> 00:16:05,595
I have lost
A lot of your money.
452
00:16:05,595 --> 00:16:07,397
Our money. The money.
453
00:16:07,397 --> 00:16:09,139
Please, debbie weaver.
454
00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:11,401
I admit that the child slave
Labor might have been a misstep,
455
00:16:11,401 --> 00:16:13,973
But don't give up on us.
456
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,345
Not on "Bag hags."
457
00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:17,447
I was trying out a new name.
Sleep on it.
458
00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:18,408
Bag hags.
459
00:16:18,408 --> 00:16:19,579
Call it whatever you want.
460
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,351
It's a failure, and so am I.
461
00:16:21,351 --> 00:16:22,512
I think...
Hello!
462
00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:24,214
A piece of the puzzle.
463
00:16:24,214 --> 00:16:26,056
(amber) I don't want
To talk about it.
(jeremy speaks indistinctly)
464
00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:28,058
I don't want to talk about it.
Amber, why don't you
Like me anymore?
465
00:16:28,058 --> 00:16:29,389
I'm out.
No. No.
466
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:34,064
(amber, jeremy, debbie,
And jackie talking at once)
467
00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:36,426
The pieces are coming together.
468
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:38,198
(voices slowing down)
469
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,101
(two steps from hell's
"Starfleet" playing)
470
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,174
(all speaking inaudibly)
471
00:16:44,174 --> 00:16:47,737
♪♪♪
472
00:16:57,647 --> 00:16:59,189
Stop!
473
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,124
I can see the whole field.
474
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,526
I am dan marino.
475
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,099
Debbie, your problem is not
About making purses and money.
476
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,331
You wanna feel like
You contribute to this family,
477
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,504
But you do, more than
You can possibly imagine.
478
00:17:14,504 --> 00:17:15,665
Really?
479
00:17:15,665 --> 00:17:17,207
Jackie.
Hmm?
480
00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:18,368
You want a career,
481
00:17:18,368 --> 00:17:19,669
And not because you won't
Explode on earth
482
00:17:19,669 --> 00:17:22,041
But because you're good at it.
I am.
483
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,215
Besides, you're gonna need
The money because larry...
484
00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:27,077
Wants a daughter.
I do?
485
00:17:27,077 --> 00:17:29,119
You do?
I do.
486
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,581
Two pieces at once!
487
00:17:31,581 --> 00:17:33,483
And, amber, you're not gonna
Settle for jeremy,
488
00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:35,725
Because even though
He's seeing someone else,
489
00:17:35,725 --> 00:17:38,128
Reggie is really
The guy that you like.
490
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,231
You do?
He is?
491
00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:45,265
The last piece.
We solved the puzzle!
492
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,736
It is our thing!
493
00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:48,098
We solved the puzzle.
494
00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:49,269
Thank you, mr. Weaver.
495
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,671
It's nice that someone was
Up front with me.
496
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,374
I just wish it'd happened
Before I spent $89.95
497
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,446
Getting her painted
On my car.
498
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,386
Oh. Come on.
499
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,489
I mean, clearly, the pressure
Of a high stakes puzzle
500
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,592
Caused my father
To lose his mind.
501
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,525
He has no idea
What he's talking about.
502
00:18:15,525 --> 00:18:17,367
Oh. (exhales)
503
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:18,828
Wow!
504
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:20,400
That's... A relief.
505
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,831
Okay, giselle,
506
00:18:21,831 --> 00:18:25,405
Let's go listen to some records
Or some crap.
507
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:26,536
Good-bye, amber.
508
00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:28,838
Okay. Bye.
Friendly good-bye.
509
00:18:28,838 --> 00:18:30,310
Friends saying bye.
510
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,342
I'll be right there.
511
00:18:32,342 --> 00:18:35,215
Listen, giselle, I really am
Sorry about all of--
512
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,316
Look, I'm not stupid.
513
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,487
I see the way
You make him laugh.
514
00:18:37,487 --> 00:18:39,689
I know you like him,
And now he knows, too.
515
00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,491
But--
Not done.
516
00:18:41,491 --> 00:18:44,123
Here's what
You need to know--
517
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,726
I like him
And I'm not going away.
518
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,658
I fight
For the things I like.
519
00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:50,700
I fought for season nine
Of "One tree hill,"
520
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,132
And I will fight for reggie.
521
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,706
You mess with the bull,
You get the horns.
522
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:03,443
(door opens and closes)
Oh, my god. She's crazy.
523
00:19:06,576 --> 00:19:09,148
Hey.
Hey.
524
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,380
We found this in the garbage...
525
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:11,621
(thud)
And thought that
You might still need it.
526
00:19:11,621 --> 00:19:13,753
That's very sweet.
527
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,585
It's also dirty because
528
00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:17,787
It was on top of the spaghetti
That we threw out last night.
529
00:19:17,787 --> 00:19:21,791
Max, do you have something
You wanna give your mom?
530
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:24,594
It's my allowance.
It's for "Bag ladies."
531
00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:27,767
It's bag hags.
532
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:30,740
I just gave you my allowance.
Let's be flexible with the name.
533
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,372
Deal.
534
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:36,806
$137 in nickels, dimes,
And quarters.
535
00:19:36,806 --> 00:19:38,478
Use it well.
536
00:19:39,609 --> 00:19:41,651
If I could offer a name,
537
00:19:41,651 --> 00:19:43,753
"Debbie's pursey cats."
538
00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:46,516
If you hate it, that's cool.
539
00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:47,757
I love it.
540
00:19:47,757 --> 00:19:49,389
And here you go.
541
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,492
My checkbook is your checkbook.
Okay?
542
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,824
We just wanted to say
That we believe in you
543
00:19:54,824 --> 00:19:57,797
And we would like
To invest in your business.
544
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,569
(whispers) thanks.
545
00:19:59,569 --> 00:20:01,801
I'm very touched.
546
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,733
Kids, I can't take your money.
547
00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:05,535
And, marty,
I can't take your pity.
548
00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,206
No, this isn't pity.
It's greed.
549
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,678
You have something here, deb.
Okay?
550
00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:10,780
And you're gonna figure out
The business side.
551
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,882
You wanna know why?
'cause you're smart
552
00:20:12,882 --> 00:20:15,815
And you're creative,
And most of all,
553
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,318
You have a great personality.
554
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,750
"Purse-onality"? Huh?
555
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:24,223
Come on. They're purses
With personalities?
556
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,756
Oh, okay, pursey cat.
What, that makes sense?
557
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:29,899
At least it's better than...
(deep voice) purse-onality.
558
00:20:29,899 --> 00:20:31,601
It's bag ladies!
559
00:20:31,601 --> 00:20:32,702
Bag ladies?
Yeah!
560
00:20:32,702 --> 00:20:34,704
It's like a homeless company.
What is that?
561
00:20:34,704 --> 00:20:35,905
Yeah! I know!
(shouts indistinctly)
562
00:20:35,905 --> 00:20:37,667
They're your children.
563
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,314
Put down the trans fats,
Debbie weaver.
564
00:20:44,314 --> 00:20:45,775
I'll run
Your scout meeting today.
565
00:20:45,775 --> 00:20:47,947
Oh, that is so sweet,
But I really--
566
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:52,482
I insist. These girls are such
A welcome relief from my sons.
567
00:20:52,482 --> 00:20:55,385
Those innocent rays
Of feminine sunshine
568
00:20:55,385 --> 00:20:58,788
Brighten my day
With their positive simplicity.
569
00:20:58,788 --> 00:21:00,930
Girls! Uncle larry's back.
570
00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:03,262
I should be the spinner
Because I'm the prettiest!
571
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,734
As if, copycat!
572
00:21:04,734 --> 00:21:06,966
You got that butterfly barrette
Because I had it!
573
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,738
You both have
The wrong head shape for it!
574
00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:12,041
Who ya talking to, googly eyes?
We can't tell.
575
00:21:12,041 --> 00:21:13,643
Oh, real nice!
You're mean!
576
00:21:13,643 --> 00:21:16,446
You left the trans fats in
The kitchen. Enjoy the meeting.
577
00:21:16,446 --> 00:21:18,748
This is my house!
I'm the boss around here
578
00:21:18,748 --> 00:21:20,780
And ya play by my rules!
579
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,982
Debbie?
I don't wanna play your--
41605
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