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1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:03,374
Hey, mom,
2
00:00:03,374 --> 00:00:05,136
Love the jacket.
3
00:00:05,136 --> 00:00:06,637
Your late 20s are really
Treating you well.
4
00:00:06,637 --> 00:00:09,180
And, george clooney...
5
00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:11,112
What did you do
With my dad?
6
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,713
(marty and debbie)
What do you want?
Right. Thanks.
7
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,186
So I was wondering
If I could go to a lecture
8
00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:17,348
On cultural studies,
Sometimes referred to
9
00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:18,519
As a jay-z concert.
10
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,521
When?
Night before friday.
11
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,094
So thursday.
You could look at it
That way, sure.
12
00:00:23,094 --> 00:00:25,096
Yeah, not on a school night.
Look, I already turned in
All my homework,
13
00:00:25,096 --> 00:00:27,228
Megan's dad is driving,
And I'm gonna ask reggie,
14
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,560
Because he's responsible
And asian.
15
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,332
Amber, no.
16
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,105
I don't like your jacket.
It looks fat.
17
00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:37,037
Whoa! Slow down there,
Tiger.
18
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,240
Eat me!
Mm! She's a charmer,
That one.
19
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,342
(chuckles)
(gasps) george clooney!
20
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,144
What did you do
With debbie weaver?
21
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,575
(debbie and marty)
What do you want, larry?
22
00:00:44,575 --> 00:00:46,117
We want you to take us
To a broadway musical.
23
00:00:46,117 --> 00:00:48,079
We've heard
Wonderful things--
Yeah.
24
00:00:48,079 --> 00:00:51,051
Rumors of singing and dancing
And mormons and cats!
25
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,053
Yeah, sorry, guys.
We stopped going to musicals
26
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,187
After our $600 family nap
At "Phantom of the opera."
27
00:00:56,187 --> 00:00:57,528
Besides, whatever you want
To see,
28
00:00:57,528 --> 00:00:59,490
Hugh jackman will eventually
Turn into a movie.
29
00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:01,332
Fine. We'll just go
On our own.
30
00:01:01,332 --> 00:01:02,693
Okay, we know you guys
Are anxious
31
00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:04,235
To experience everything,
32
00:01:04,235 --> 00:01:07,238
But think of all the things
That have happened so far--
33
00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:09,100
Larry almost falling
Down that well...
Oh...
34
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,742
That tuesday jackie spent
In the revolving door.
35
00:01:11,742 --> 00:01:13,544
Mm-hmm.
I mean, guys,
I don't think you're ready
36
00:01:13,544 --> 00:01:15,676
To experience the big stuff
Without us yet.
37
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,209
But--
It's not open
For discussion.
38
00:01:18,209 --> 00:01:19,780
You never let us do anything.
39
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,113
Your jacket looks fat.
40
00:01:22,113 --> 00:01:23,154
(clicks tongue)
41
00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:25,085
(crickets chirping)
42
00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,192
(lowered voice) what are you
Doing out here, o dark one?
43
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:33,594
(lowered voice)
Jay-z concert tomorrow.
44
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,266
I'm sneaking out
To pick up tickets.
45
00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:37,428
Ohh, badass!
46
00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:39,770
(lowered voice)
We're sneaking out, too.
I'm impressed.
47
00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:42,773
We're going to see "Annie."
I'm no longer impressed.
48
00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:44,135
It's about a tiny ginger
49
00:01:44,135 --> 00:01:46,106
Who falls in love
With a bald man
50
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,438
Called "Tomorrow."
51
00:01:47,438 --> 00:01:49,140
All right,
Let's make this quick.
52
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,841
I don't rat you out,
You won't rat me out. Deal?
53
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,643
Deal.
All right.
54
00:01:54,445 --> 00:01:56,617
We're really doing this,
Aren't we, husband?
55
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,319
Yes, wife, we really are.
56
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,851
(breath quavers)
57
00:02:00,851 --> 00:02:03,824
Let's walk over
To new york city.
58
00:02:06,297 --> 00:02:15,236
♪♪♪
59
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,269
(door opens)
♪ mi, mi, mi, mi,
Mi, mi, mi ♪
60
00:02:18,269 --> 00:02:19,510
♪ good morning ♪
(marty) ahh!
61
00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:21,372
♪ good morning ♪
62
00:02:21,372 --> 00:02:23,774
Morning. You guys
Are in a good mood.
63
00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:25,276
Of course we are,
Debbie weaver.
64
00:02:25,276 --> 00:02:27,278
Hidden hills is alive
With the sound of musicals!
65
00:02:27,278 --> 00:02:29,149
Oh, isn't it glorious?
I can hear it everywhere--
66
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,652
♪ the birds, the bees,
The people, the trees ♪
(both snapping fingers)
67
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,424
(larry and jackie)
♪ the birds, the bees ♪
68
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:35,626
♪ the people, the trees ♪
All right, okay.
What's going on, guys?
69
00:02:35,626 --> 00:02:37,157
We can't say.
We went to see a musical.
70
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,760
When?!
What?! We told you not to!
71
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,762
Uh... She snuck out, too.
72
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:45,666
You snuck out?
Oh, come on, man!
So uncool!
73
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,897
I can't believe you, amber.
74
00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:49,200
I'm really sorry,
But you were being
75
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,641
Kind of unreasonable
About the concert,
76
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:52,172
So I just thought that--
77
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,504
Okay, you know what?
Enough with the excuses.
78
00:02:53,504 --> 00:02:55,606
You are grounded. Go to
Your room and stay there.
79
00:02:55,606 --> 00:02:57,348
Yeah. You're in big trouble,
Young lady.
80
00:02:57,348 --> 00:02:58,749
Eee! (shudders)
81
00:02:58,749 --> 00:03:01,181
(sighs) guys, what if
Something happened to you?
82
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,183
Oh... Please.
83
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,216
Oh, the city was so pretty!
84
00:03:05,216 --> 00:03:06,687
Ah, the lights were so bright!
85
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,689
Although new york was
Further than we thought,
86
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,361
And people could be very rude
As we were walking
87
00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:11,722
Through the tunnel
Of lincoln.
88
00:03:11,722 --> 00:03:14,695
You walked to a musical
In new york city?
89
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,196
Do you know
What could have happened
90
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,529
If you would have got
Discovered or run over?
91
00:03:18,529 --> 00:03:20,271
Do you want the scientists
In the white coats
92
00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:21,402
To come and take over
The community?
93
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,673
I showed you "E.T.," didn't I?
94
00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:24,204
Yes, you did,
And it scared us, okay?
95
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,936
Now let's move on.
96
00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:27,708
Okay, well, we are just
Trying to keep you safe.
97
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,541
Oh, right, I forgot. We need
Your help for everything.
98
00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:32,243
Wife, let's go.
99
00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:34,545
That is, if we can figure out
How to get out of here
100
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:36,547
With the weavers' help. Ha!
101
00:03:36,547 --> 00:03:38,218
(door closes)
That's the pantry.
102
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,290
Mm.
103
00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:42,222
Borrowing this o.J.
104
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,555
That's mayo!
105
00:03:44,555 --> 00:03:46,257
Yeah, they don't need us.
(door closes)
106
00:03:46,257 --> 00:03:47,398
No.
107
00:03:47,398 --> 00:03:48,899
(whirring)
108
00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:50,861
(rock music playing)
109
00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:52,232
(cell phone beeps)
110
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,664
(buttons clicking)
Hey!
111
00:03:53,664 --> 00:03:55,306
You're grounded.
112
00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:56,567
No computer.
(music stops)
113
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,269
No texting.
114
00:03:58,269 --> 00:04:00,341
All right, you know what?
I'm sorry I snuck out,
115
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,812
But, honestly,
You have to admit,
116
00:04:01,812 --> 00:04:03,544
It's been a little
Shawshanky around here.
117
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,516
I'm a good kid, mom.
118
00:04:05,516 --> 00:04:06,877
I never do anything wrong.
119
00:04:06,877 --> 00:04:08,919
I wanted to go
To one concert.
120
00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:10,651
You could do a lot worse
For a daughter.
121
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:11,952
(cell phone chimes,
Buttons resume clicking)
122
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:15,656
No, no texting.
Grounded.
123
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,559
You are so...
124
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,331
Lame. (mouths words)
125
00:04:20,331 --> 00:04:21,332
(larry)
Overprotective...
126
00:04:21,332 --> 00:04:22,993
Stifling.
127
00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:24,595
Hmm. Their musicals are
Clearly the best thing
128
00:04:24,595 --> 00:04:25,896
Their planet has to offer.
129
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:28,038
Just think about
The other amazing things
130
00:04:28,038 --> 00:04:29,600
They could be
Holding us back from.
131
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,372
If only there was a way
Of making them
132
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,473
Really hear us.
133
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,475
A way of expressing
Our desire...
134
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:37,948
(up-tempo music starts)
To experience new
And exciting things.
135
00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:40,881
Ideally,
Things would rhyme.
136
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,553
(music stops, switch clicks)
(gasps)
137
00:04:42,553 --> 00:04:44,555
I've been waiting
To use this thing.
138
00:04:44,555 --> 00:04:47,388
♪♪♪
139
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,460
Megan, I think we've done
All the analysis
140
00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:50,891
We can do
For a 3-letter text.
141
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,324
When he said "Hey," I think
He might have meant "Hey."
142
00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:54,865
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
143
00:04:54,865 --> 00:04:57,067
Did you get your telephone
From my bedroom?
144
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,500
You are grounded!
Hold on.
145
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,702
You know,
I thought about it,
146
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,334
And I just decided no.
147
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:04,505
I'm not grounded.
148
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,306
What did you just say?
149
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,408
What did she just say?
150
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:08,679
Max, abby, go to your rooms.
151
00:05:08,679 --> 00:05:11,081
No, actually, don't.
152
00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:14,345
You see, something occurred
To me as I sat in my room...
153
00:05:14,345 --> 00:05:15,746
Unplugged.
154
00:05:15,746 --> 00:05:18,318
Parents don't have
Any real power.
155
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,351
They can ground us, yes.
156
00:05:20,351 --> 00:05:22,593
But what if we say no?
157
00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,094
Can we do that?
158
00:05:24,094 --> 00:05:25,656
(lowered voice)
Don't talk. Don't breathe.
159
00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:27,027
Let this play out.
160
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,630
So, anyway, megan, uh,
I think a good response
161
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,462
To "Hey"
Might just be "Hey."
162
00:05:31,462 --> 00:05:32,563
(door closes)
(gasps)
163
00:05:32,563 --> 00:05:33,834
Did she just--
Uh-huh.
164
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,105
But I thought that we--
Yeah.
165
00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:36,837
So then how could she--
I don't know.
166
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:40,040
♪♪♪
167
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,842
Dominique, do you think
That was good?
168
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,475
Actually, I kinda do think--
It wasn't. It was terrible.
169
00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:46,717
I'm sorry.
Singing isn't your thing.
170
00:05:46,717 --> 00:05:49,349
♪ yeah! ♪
(sighs) I'm sorry,
Billie jean king.
171
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,882
It was a little bit
Cruise ship karaoke for me.
172
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:54,485
I'm gonna do an original song.
173
00:05:54,485 --> 00:05:55,986
Oh...
No, not another.
174
00:05:55,986 --> 00:05:57,357
I hate it when they
Do that.
175
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,460
I've been writing this
For my girlfriend giselle.
176
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,691
(groans)
177
00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:01,832
♪ giselle ♪
178
00:06:01,832 --> 00:06:03,694
(strumming)
179
00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:05,135
♪ you're so swell ♪
180
00:06:05,135 --> 00:06:06,867
(strumming)
181
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,370
♪ you're a 16th
The size of adele ♪
182
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,503
(pressing buttons)
183
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,747
Amber, listen to me.
You are grounded.
184
00:06:16,747 --> 00:06:18,549
I reject your grounding,
Marty.
185
00:06:18,549 --> 00:06:20,150
What kind of example
Are you setting
186
00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:21,381
For your brother
And your sister?
187
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,414
A pretty fun one,
By the looks of it.
188
00:06:23,414 --> 00:06:25,516
(hisses)
What are you doing?
189
00:06:25,516 --> 00:06:27,558
What I should have been doing
A long time ago.
190
00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:29,590
Mmm! Mmm!
191
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,791
(bell dings)
Abby!
192
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,823
Oh, hey, debbie.
193
00:06:32,823 --> 00:06:34,665
Fix me up a sandwich,
Would ya?
194
00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:36,497
Easy on the mayo for once.
195
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:40,571
Should have let me go
To that concert.
196
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:43,003
Oh, my god. This is it.
It's a coup.
197
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,636
We do we do?
What do we do?
We ignore them.
198
00:06:45,636 --> 00:06:48,138
Give them 24 hours
With nothing to rebel against.
199
00:06:48,138 --> 00:06:49,510
They'll lose steam.
200
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,141
(hissing)
201
00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:53,013
(muffled laugh)
Yeah!
202
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,885
(sighs)
203
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,417
(laughs)
All right, husband,
204
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,989
Are you ready
For our first rehearsal?
205
00:06:58,989 --> 00:07:00,591
Am I ever.
206
00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:02,853
Up until today,
I've always been a larry bird.
207
00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:05,626
But today,
I'm a larry song bird.
208
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,458
(laughs and breathes deeply)
Deep breaths.
209
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,830
Don't get pitchy.
(inhales)
210
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,202
(slow theatrical music playing)
211
00:07:12,202 --> 00:07:15,435
♪ there's so much out there
We should know ♪
212
00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,869
♪ and yet
You never let us go ♪
213
00:07:18,869 --> 00:07:21,041
♪♪♪
214
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,474
♪ if we could do things ♪
215
00:07:23,474 --> 00:07:25,776
♪ big spanking new things ♪
216
00:07:27,578 --> 00:07:31,552
(both) ♪ life would be big,
Bold, and bright ♪
217
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:36,186
♪ as a broadway show ♪
218
00:07:36,186 --> 00:07:39,459
(song tempo increases,
Brooms whooshing)
219
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,562
♪ I want to get
A circumcision ♪
220
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,593
(snipping)
221
00:07:42,593 --> 00:07:46,136
♪ I want to hitchhike to l.A. ♪
(horn honks)
222
00:07:46,136 --> 00:07:49,500
♪ drinking in dive bars?
I'd give it five stars ♪
223
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:53,574
♪ more or less like what you'd
Probably see on broadway ♪
224
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,977
♪ I want to use
A public restroom ♪
225
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,611
♪ and try
All 50 shades of grey ♪
226
00:08:00,611 --> 00:08:02,513
♪ roughing some bums up ♪
227
00:08:02,513 --> 00:08:04,254
♪ that's two big thumbs up ♪
♪ that's two big thumbs up ♪
228
00:08:04,254 --> 00:08:08,989
♪ similar to the kind of thing
You might see on broadway ♪
229
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,793
♪ I want to do a tap-dance
At the local d.M.V. ♪
230
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,496
♪ I want to give a lap dance
To a starbucks employee ♪
231
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,068
(all) ♪ what about getting
A new tattoo ♪
232
00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:19,900
♪ or possibly two or three? ♪
233
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,673
♪ I want to smack the entire
Cast of "Glee" ♪
♪ so do we ♪
234
00:08:22,673 --> 00:08:23,974
♪ also me ♪
235
00:08:23,974 --> 00:08:26,777
♪ I want to learn
To use a chain saw ♪
236
00:08:26,777 --> 00:08:30,541
♪ I want to do a dream ballet ♪
237
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:33,914
(all) ♪ should you ignore us,
We'll add a chorus ♪
238
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,186
♪ everyone form a kick line,
What do you say? ♪
239
00:08:36,186 --> 00:08:37,818
♪ hooray, hooray, hooray ♪
240
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,089
♪ life could be as ♪
♪ wonderful ♪
241
00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:41,521
♪ magical ♪
♪ adjective ♪
242
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,823
♪ swell ♪
♪ as something ♪
243
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:45,195
♪ you may or may not
Possibly see ♪
244
00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:50,260
♪ on broadway ♪
♪ ahh-ahh ♪
245
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:52,863
♪ please let us go and try
New things today ♪
246
00:08:52,863 --> 00:08:54,665
♪ sing out, dick butkus ♪
♪ oh ♪
247
00:08:54,665 --> 00:08:58,739
♪ make our lives as fabulous ♪
248
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:03,143
♪ as broadway ♪
249
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,745
♪ broadway ♪
250
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,817
♪ broadway ♪
251
00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:08,619
♪ broadway-- ♪
(high-pitched shriek)
252
00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:10,681
(music stops)
253
00:09:10,681 --> 00:09:12,823
Oh, no.
254
00:09:12,823 --> 00:09:14,725
Dick fell in the well.
255
00:09:14,725 --> 00:09:16,026
Ooh.
256
00:09:20,631 --> 00:09:22,162
♪♪♪
257
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,694
Coming through,
Coming through.
258
00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:26,597
(panting) tie it 'round
Your waist, son!
259
00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:29,840
We'll pull you right up!
No, don't do it, dick.
It'll tear right through you!
260
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,341
What are you trying to do,
Split him in half?
261
00:09:31,341 --> 00:09:33,644
He's tender like veal.
(sighs)
262
00:09:33,644 --> 00:09:36,306
Maybe we should just call
The weavers and ask for help.
263
00:09:36,306 --> 00:09:38,578
I know.
Let's call the police.
264
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,350
Oh, honey, they split up
In the '80s.
265
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:42,112
Now sting's off doing
His own thing--
266
00:09:42,112 --> 00:09:44,054
No. No.
No, police officers.
267
00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:46,056
They'll come, rescue dick,
And we'll be back home
268
00:09:46,056 --> 00:09:47,988
Before the weavers can say
"I told you so."
269
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,160
Oh.
Who has a phone?
270
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,191
(murmuring)
(phone whooshes)
271
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,363
Oh. Thank you, son.
272
00:09:53,363 --> 00:09:56,066
(dick) keep it short!
Those are pre-paid minutes!
273
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,900
How's it hangin', folks?
274
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:03,373
(sighs) hey, debbie, where's
Your copy of "Magic mike"?
275
00:10:03,373 --> 00:10:04,875
You're not watching
"Magic mike."
276
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:07,938
Fine. I'll illegally
Download it from the internet.
277
00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:10,681
(bell dings)
I'm having a hard time
Ignoring this, deb.
278
00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:12,943
Yeah, we need to put a stop
To this. Where is she?
279
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:14,314
So what are you doing now?
280
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,186
I'm trying to write this song.
281
00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:19,019
Okay, well, why don't you
Stop trying to do that
282
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:23,623
And come with me
To the jay-z concert?
Jay-z?
283
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,756
I love me some jay-z!
284
00:10:25,756 --> 00:10:27,998
So are you in?
I'd love to, but
285
00:10:27,998 --> 00:10:30,661
I can't figure out
This love song for giselle.
286
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:33,033
Just--I can't finish it.
Huh.
287
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,705
Maybe you have writer's block.
288
00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:36,967
Or maybe giselle is just
Too boring to write about.
289
00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:38,769
(sighs)
So meet me in the park.
290
00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:40,310
We'll walk to
Megan's house from there.
291
00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:41,672
Be there at 7:00.
292
00:10:41,672 --> 00:10:43,013
Okay.
(phone beeps)
293
00:10:43,013 --> 00:10:44,144
(phone beeps)
294
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,276
Amber, we need to talk.
(sighs)
295
00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:48,348
But first, what happened
To the rug in the hallway?
296
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,821
Threw it away.
Never liked that thing.
297
00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:53,323
(sirens wailing in distance)
Are those sirens?
298
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,856
What is going on?
299
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:59,389
(sirens continue wailing)
300
00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:00,791
Oh, boy.
301
00:11:00,791 --> 00:11:02,292
Amber, watch your brother
And sister.
302
00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:04,164
I'm not gonna do that.
Amber, enough!
303
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,836
Fine.
304
00:11:05,836 --> 00:11:09,700
Hey. I'm making martinis.
You in?
(rattling)
305
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:10,941
(police radio chatter)
306
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:13,673
Jackie, what is going on?
Is everything okay?
307
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,145
Oh, yes. Everything
Is perfectly fine.
308
00:11:15,145 --> 00:11:18,008
We were doing a musical number,
And dick fell in the well.
309
00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:21,151
What?!
Dick, are you okay?!
310
00:11:21,151 --> 00:11:23,213
I'm well. Get it?
311
00:11:23,213 --> 00:11:24,785
Stop that, dick!
It's not punny!
312
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,717
Larry, you called the police?
(police radio chatter)
313
00:11:26,717 --> 00:11:28,458
I did.
All by himself.
314
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:31,121
Well, how are you gonna
Answer their questions?
315
00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:34,825
You have no documentation,
Very silly names.
316
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,767
All of you are dressed alike.
317
00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:38,468
You have that spaceship
In your garage.
318
00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:40,470
Larry, you want this
To end up like "E.T."? Huh?
319
00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:42,102
Bubble over your house,
You lying naked
320
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,734
And trapped
In some drainage ditch?
321
00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:45,475
Is that how it ended?
No.
322
00:11:45,475 --> 00:11:47,407
I never saw the end!
It's okay.
323
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,740
You didn't tell me that.
It's not how it ended.
324
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:51,311
(horn honks)
325
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,914
Oh, great, here we go.
(van door slides open)
326
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,186
I got eyes on the well!
(panting)
327
00:11:56,186 --> 00:11:58,188
(door closes)
Are you the boy's father?
328
00:11:58,188 --> 00:11:59,820
Um...
329
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,191
Sir, please tell us
Your name.
330
00:12:01,191 --> 00:12:02,352
(shudders)
331
00:12:02,352 --> 00:12:04,024
(lowered voice) larry bird.
332
00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:07,027
And your son's name
In the well?
333
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,359
D-dick butkus.
334
00:12:09,359 --> 00:12:10,861
(chuckles nervously)
335
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:14,234
Larry... Bird
And dick butkus?
Butkus.
336
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,766
(pants) we chose those names
Because we--
337
00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:18,809
We wanted to honor earth's
Finest physical specimens.
338
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,913
(panting) we don't have
A spaceship in the garage.
339
00:12:22,913 --> 00:12:25,075
This is "E.T."
It's happening.
340
00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:26,917
(sighs)
The whole thing is happening
Right now.
341
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:29,319
(larry)
Oh, my god. It is "E.T."
342
00:12:29,319 --> 00:12:30,851
(panting)
343
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:32,182
(yelps)
344
00:12:32,182 --> 00:12:35,786
(crowd gasps) ooh!
(thud)
345
00:12:35,786 --> 00:12:37,157
Did you get that?
346
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,358
Okay.
347
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,765
This is so exciting.
348
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,037
A kid in a well.
349
00:12:47,037 --> 00:12:48,899
If I had to do one more
Teeth-whitening segment,
350
00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:50,170
I'd blow my brains out.
(closes compact)
351
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,042
Ooh, teeth-whitening. Wow!
352
00:12:52,042 --> 00:12:54,144
Don't you think your viewers
Would like to hear about that
353
00:12:54,144 --> 00:12:57,147
Instead of this
Silly old well story?
I've got this,
Debbie weaver.
354
00:12:57,147 --> 00:13:00,410
I've watched plenty of your tv.
I can handle the media.
355
00:13:02,152 --> 00:13:03,884
Hi.
356
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,817
I'm jackie joyner-kersee.
357
00:13:06,817 --> 00:13:09,019
If you could tell
The greater new jersey area
358
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:11,321
One thing about your son,
What would it be?
359
00:13:13,323 --> 00:13:14,995
He does not have a tail.
360
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,828
Yeah, you know, he's just like
Any other 8-year-old kid.
361
00:13:17,828 --> 00:13:19,830
I noticed all the people
In this neighborhood
362
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:21,331
Dress the same.
363
00:13:21,331 --> 00:13:24,404
Is this, like, some kind
Of commune or a cult?
(debbie laughs)
364
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,436
What?! It's...
Oh...
365
00:13:26,436 --> 00:13:28,979
It's not a commune.
366
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:32,042
(laughs)
367
00:13:32,042 --> 00:13:33,083
No!
368
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:35,045
(continues laughing)
369
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:37,487
I lied. He does have a tail.
370
00:13:37,487 --> 00:13:39,119
Oh, no.
371
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,953
(guitar strumming ballad)
372
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,232
♪ there's so much
I'm feeling ♪
373
00:13:53,503 --> 00:13:56,436
♪ more than you can tell ♪
374
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,108
♪♪♪
375
00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:03,213
♪ so much going on
Beneath this ♪
376
00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:05,916
♪ shell ♪
377
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:10,220
♪ I can't keep it hidden ♪
378
00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:13,083
♪ I can feel it swell ♪
379
00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:14,854
♪♪♪
380
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,028
♪ gotta let it ring out ♪
381
00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:19,329
♪ like a ♪
382
00:14:19,329 --> 00:14:21,061
♪ bell ♪
383
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,532
♪♪♪
384
00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:25,165
♪ giselle ♪
385
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,397
♪♪♪
386
00:14:27,397 --> 00:14:29,569
♪ giselle ♪
387
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,242
♪♪♪
388
00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:37,107
♪ I can't stop
Thinking about ♪
389
00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:39,379
♪♪♪
390
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,411
(stops strumming)
391
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:44,614
♪ amber ♪
392
00:14:44,614 --> 00:14:46,216
(man) all right, boys,
The winch is almost ready.
393
00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:48,418
What's going on up there?
394
00:14:48,418 --> 00:14:50,921
It appears all is lost.
395
00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:55,225
Why are you smiling,
Father?
396
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:57,627
Because this is the low point.
397
00:14:57,627 --> 00:15:00,370
And if I've learned anything
From musicals,
398
00:15:00,370 --> 00:15:03,103
It's right after
The lowest point,
399
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,305
Everything turns around.
400
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:08,178
The main song is reprised,
401
00:15:08,178 --> 00:15:12,112
But with a new,
Potentially opposite message
402
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,913
To the first song.
403
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,086
♪♪♪
404
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:20,290
♪ so let's pause briefly
To recap ♪
405
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:23,923
♪ this world's
A scary tourist trap ♪
406
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,256
♪ shallow ♪
♪ offensive ♪
407
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:29,229
♪ much too expensive ♪
408
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:33,163
♪ in short,
Exactly the same ♪
409
00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:36,636
♪ as that broadway ♪
410
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,268
♪ crap ♪
411
00:15:38,268 --> 00:15:39,139
(clatters)
412
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,712
♪ I think today
We learned a lesson ♪
413
00:15:42,712 --> 00:15:44,574
♪ I guess I've learned
My lesson ♪
414
00:15:44,574 --> 00:15:46,416
♪ life's not some
Whimsical souffle ♪
415
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:49,149
♪ I guess I really fell ♪
416
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,950
♪ it's horrifying ♪
417
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,423
♪ and ends in crying ♪
♪ fell just like
Dick butkus ♪
418
00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:57,127
♪ in the well ♪
♪ not unlike those lies they
Try to sell you on broadway ♪
419
00:15:57,127 --> 00:15:59,259
♪ it's dumb and cheesy
And depressing ♪
420
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,191
♪ amber ♪
421
00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:03,233
♪ it's just
A badly plotted play ♪
422
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,964
♪ oh, amber ♪
423
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,237
♪ so, thank you, weavers ♪
♪ amber ♪
424
00:16:07,237 --> 00:16:09,199
♪ we're now believers ♪
425
00:16:09,199 --> 00:16:11,101
♪ home is where we'll stay,
Far from the lights ♪
426
00:16:11,101 --> 00:16:12,242
♪ and temptations ♪
427
00:16:12,242 --> 00:16:15,105
♪ and the dangers ♪
♪ and the wells ♪
428
00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:24,084
(all) ♪ of broadway ♪
429
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,455
♪ hey ♪
430
00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:27,557
Hey.
Hey.
431
00:16:27,557 --> 00:16:29,159
♪♪♪
432
00:16:29,159 --> 00:16:32,362
Oh, my god.
I'm still in love with amber.
433
00:16:32,362 --> 00:16:33,763
I have to tell her.
434
00:16:33,763 --> 00:16:36,266
I have to sing a song for her.
435
00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:37,497
(engine rumbling)
436
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,200
Excuse me. So that's it.
You're just leaving, right?
437
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,173
Yeah. Once the kid's
Out of the well, story's over.
438
00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:45,004
Well, what about the story?
439
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,707
Oh, yeah. My boss looked at it,
And he hated it,
440
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,180
So I guess it's back
To doing traffic.
441
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,282
And my boss. Hmm.
442
00:16:52,282 --> 00:16:54,084
You know, I like her.
443
00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:55,245
No, you don't.
I don't like her.
444
00:16:55,245 --> 00:16:56,386
No.
445
00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:58,388
(song ends)
446
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:01,521
(sighs) so I guess we got in
A little over our heads.
447
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,723
About 14 feet over,
Am I right?
448
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,325
(chuckles)
Good one, husband.
449
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:08,598
Oh, we pushed too far
Too fast.
450
00:17:08,598 --> 00:17:11,201
Maybe we do need a little more
Guidance than we thought.
451
00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:13,333
I know you'll be happy
To hear that from now on,
452
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,505
We'll stay at home
And live vicariously
453
00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:18,138
Through "3rd rock from the sun"
Reruns.
454
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,240
Well, we don't want that.
455
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,412
No, we want you to experience
The world.
456
00:17:22,412 --> 00:17:24,244
It's just that
We worry about you.
457
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:27,277
You know, we want you to be safe
As well as happy.
458
00:17:27,277 --> 00:17:30,320
You guys, you're--
459
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,122
Well, I guess you're like
Our e.T.
460
00:17:32,122 --> 00:17:34,053
(clicks tongue) oh...
461
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,325
(exhales)
462
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:37,427
Well, I suppose that would
Make you our elliott.
463
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:39,359
(laughs)
We'll take it.
464
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,491
I love that movie.
I always wanted to be elliott.
465
00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:45,195
So, um... Elliott,
466
00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:47,397
There's a monster truck rally
This sunday sunday sunday.
467
00:17:47,397 --> 00:17:48,538
Will you take us?
468
00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:50,500
(imitating e.T.) please?
469
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,701
Yes, I'll take you.
Oh!
470
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:52,702
Let's do this.
Okay.
471
00:17:52,702 --> 00:17:54,144
All right.
Good night.
472
00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:55,705
Good night.
(marty)
Sunday sunday sunday!
473
00:17:55,705 --> 00:17:57,347
Honey, you should come,
Though.
No, I'm not coming.
474
00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:59,849
(laughing)
Guys, guys, guys,
Come on, stop!
475
00:17:59,849 --> 00:18:01,411
It's been four hours
Of this.
476
00:18:01,411 --> 00:18:04,114
Abby, are you wearing
My makeup? I told you no.
477
00:18:04,114 --> 00:18:07,257
Yeah, I know, but something
Occurred to us.
478
00:18:07,257 --> 00:18:10,460
We can say no.
You don't have any real power.
479
00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:11,591
But I do.
480
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,323
Look.
481
00:18:13,323 --> 00:18:17,427
There's an unspoken bargain
Between parent and child.
482
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:21,100
And if you are not going to live
Up to your end of the bargain,
483
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,532
Then we don't have to,
Either.
484
00:18:22,532 --> 00:18:25,305
(exhales)
So here's what goes--
Christmas,
485
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:28,238
Birthdays,
Help with homework,
486
00:18:28,238 --> 00:18:30,340
Vaccines, food,
487
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:31,441
The warmth of a mother,
488
00:18:31,441 --> 00:18:33,713
The warmth of a heater
In january.
489
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,416
All these things could
Potentially disappear,
490
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,348
Or you could go back
To following the rules
491
00:18:38,348 --> 00:18:42,192
And have some semblance
Of your happy little lives.
492
00:18:42,192 --> 00:18:45,295
Do you understand?
493
00:18:45,295 --> 00:18:47,497
Can I get a "Yes, ma'am"?
494
00:18:47,497 --> 00:18:48,598
(max and abby) yes, ma'am.
495
00:18:48,598 --> 00:18:50,500
Okay, now go to your rooms
And get ready for bed.
496
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,832
You're grounded.
I'm gonna count to three.
497
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,834
One...
(panting)
498
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,907
(lowered voice) I don't know
What I would have done
499
00:18:57,907 --> 00:18:59,339
If I got to three.
500
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,470
Mmm.
501
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,514
And what about you?
502
00:19:04,514 --> 00:19:05,875
Are we done here?
503
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,517
Yes.
504
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:10,480
For the record,
I would just like to say
505
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,384
That I didn't go
Behind your back at first.
506
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:17,727
I did all my homework.
I was going with a parent.
507
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:20,530
I do everything right,
And you still don't trust me.
508
00:19:21,691 --> 00:19:25,365
I guess it is a little
Shawshanky around here.
509
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,937
Maybe we can loosen the reins
A little.
510
00:19:27,937 --> 00:19:29,669
Thank you.
511
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,372
I crossed a weird line
Today.
512
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,704
Turned the little ones
Into animals.
(simon lynge) ♪ give me love ♪
513
00:19:34,704 --> 00:19:36,746
Take my phone.
I'm grounding myself.
514
00:19:36,746 --> 00:19:38,478
♪ give me love ♪
515
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,380
I already grounded you.
♪ and I'll bring it
Back to you ♪
516
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,312
Whatever you need
To tell yourself, deb.
517
00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:45,385
♪ give me love ♪
518
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,457
♪ give me love ♪
519
00:19:47,457 --> 00:19:50,460
♪ and I'll bring it
Back to you ♪
520
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,894
(gasps softly)
521
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,268
(crickets chirping)
522
00:19:58,268 --> 00:19:59,569
(sighs)
523
00:19:59,569 --> 00:20:02,632
(male sportscaster speaking
Indistinctly on tv)
524
00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:06,606
(vibrating)
525
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,908
(line ringing)
It's amber. Whatever.
526
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,580
(tone beeps)
527
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:13,283
Hello, amber. It's reggie.
528
00:20:13,283 --> 00:20:16,486
I don't know why you
Didn't come tonight, but...
529
00:20:16,486 --> 00:20:19,419
Maybe you found someone else
To go to the concert with.
530
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,451
♪♪♪
531
00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:23,453
I kind of wanted
To talk to you.
532
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,529
But never mind.
Maybe it's not that important.
533
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:32,432
♪ give me love ♪
534
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,804
♪ give me love ♪
535
00:20:34,804 --> 00:20:37,667
♪ and I'll bring it
Back to you ♪
536
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:40,440
(larry) don't tell the weavers
I'm back down here.
Father?
537
00:20:46,576 --> 00:20:47,747
I don't know if this
Will work.
538
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,978
That fence is pretty high.
539
00:20:48,978 --> 00:20:50,650
You can do it.
You're an alien.
540
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,352
You just have to focus.
541
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,684
We're flying over that fence
And across the moon.
542
00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:56,886
Oh, what the hell. What's
The worst that could happen?
543
00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:58,858
Absolutely not!
544
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,531
But, mom, dick says
He can do this!
545
00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:03,733
Okay, being grounded
Means no tv,
546
00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:07,597
No video games,
No flying with aliens.
547
00:21:07,597 --> 00:21:08,998
(sighs) fine!
548
00:21:08,998 --> 00:21:11,641
I can't believe you, max.
549
00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:13,002
Really?
550
00:21:13,002 --> 00:21:15,445
(crickets chirping)
551
00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:17,347
(lowered voice)
Come on, dick.
552
00:21:17,347 --> 00:21:18,908
We can do this.
553
00:21:18,908 --> 00:21:21,010
(dramatic music playing)
554
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:23,713
Come on, dick!
You can do this! Whoo!
555
00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:26,616
(loud thud)
Aah! (sighs) ohh!
That didn't work.
40343
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