Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,332 --> 00:00:02,333
My name is debbie weaver.
2
00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:03,704
This is my family.
3
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,036
This is our old apartment
In bayonne, new jersey.
4
00:00:05,036 --> 00:00:07,638
My husband marty got us a deal
On a town house--
5
00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:10,041
Nicer neighborhood,
Wider streets.
6
00:00:10,041 --> 00:00:11,682
Just one little problem--
7
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:14,245
Our neighbors are all
From another planet...
8
00:00:14,245 --> 00:00:15,416
Literally.
9
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,692
So, hon, big anniversary.
10
00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:24,725
What are we gonna do tonight
To celebrate 17 years of love?
(toilet flushes)
11
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,197
Oh, max,
Wash your hands.
12
00:00:26,197 --> 00:00:27,358
Abby, move.
13
00:00:27,358 --> 00:00:30,030
Ew! Max put his potty hands
On my face!
14
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,402
Max!
Come on.
15
00:00:31,402 --> 00:00:33,164
(hair dryer turns on)
So tonight--dinner out
With the kids?
16
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:35,766
Ooh! Bistro philippe?
(flossing)
I love bistro philippe.
17
00:00:35,766 --> 00:00:37,668
No way!
I hate bistro philippe!
18
00:00:37,668 --> 00:00:39,440
Since when?
Since always.
19
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,571
Their food is shiny.
20
00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:42,643
Okay, how 'bout jacopo's?
Ooh!
21
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,245
No, there was a scary dog
There once.
22
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,676
Take-out?
Order in?
23
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:47,047
Pizza?
Delivery?
24
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,379
Frozen?
Happy anniversary.
25
00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:49,780
Mm.
(electricity powers off)
26
00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:51,422
(amber) stupid power
Went out again!
27
00:00:51,422 --> 00:00:53,624
God, this is the third time
This morning.
28
00:00:53,624 --> 00:00:55,626
Must be aliens.
29
00:00:58,589 --> 00:01:01,092
(john paul young)
♪ love is in the air ♪
30
00:01:01,092 --> 00:01:02,833
♪♪♪
31
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:05,196
♪ love is in the air ♪
32
00:01:06,237 --> 00:01:08,439
♪ oh, love is in the air ♪
33
00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:10,841
♪♪♪
34
00:01:10,841 --> 00:01:13,073
♪ love is in the air ♪
(bicycle bell rings)
35
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,074
(debbie) ahem.
36
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,246
Oh, hello, weavers!
37
00:01:15,246 --> 00:01:16,847
Larry bird,
The weavers are here.
38
00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:19,250
So sorry. It's just that
Our power keeps going out,
39
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,182
And, uh, we, um...
40
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:24,115
We were just--what the hell
Is going on around here?
41
00:01:24,115 --> 00:01:25,416
It's mating season.
42
00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:26,517
(man howls)
43
00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:27,618
Oh, god.
44
00:01:27,618 --> 00:01:29,720
We do apologize
For the power outages.
45
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:30,861
(larry) our mating causes them.
46
00:01:30,861 --> 00:01:34,825
So all of these people
Are doing it?
47
00:01:34,825 --> 00:01:37,568
Oh, absolutely not.
No, they're just presenting.
48
00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:39,870
Oh, wait, no.
49
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:41,472
Billie jean king
And johnny unitas
50
00:01:41,472 --> 00:01:42,833
Are, indeed, doing it.
51
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:45,105
Oh, I say,
Nice move, johnny!
52
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,138
Yes, uh, billie jean
Is a lucky lady!
53
00:01:47,138 --> 00:01:48,439
Oh, my god.
Oh.
54
00:01:48,439 --> 00:01:51,182
Amber weaver?
I have your biology book.
55
00:01:51,182 --> 00:01:52,383
(amber) okay. Bring it up.
56
00:01:52,383 --> 00:01:53,684
(exhales)
57
00:01:53,684 --> 00:01:55,646
(sniffs)
58
00:01:55,646 --> 00:01:59,150
Ooh! Is my son not adorable?
59
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:00,691
It is his first mating season.
60
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:02,253
(larry) and if
He's anything like his father,
61
00:02:02,253 --> 00:02:04,695
You'd better keep
Your flashlights handy.
62
00:02:04,695 --> 00:02:07,798
Because the power
Will be going out...
Yeah, we...
63
00:02:07,798 --> 00:02:08,799
Because of his prowess.
64
00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,461
We got it, larry.
65
00:02:12,563 --> 00:02:17,468
♪♪♪
66
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:20,741
Why am I here for a sex talk
With our daughter?
67
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,313
I mean, this is you,
Isn't it?
68
00:02:22,313 --> 00:02:24,715
You're supposed to handle
The talky stuff.
69
00:02:24,715 --> 00:02:27,318
I do the discipline
And the baseball.
70
00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:29,250
You don't just get to
Pick and choose the easy stuff.
71
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,222
Besides, this is
A 2-parent job.
72
00:02:31,222 --> 00:02:32,152
Amber's getting older,
73
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,924
And we just moved her
Into a neighborhood
74
00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,527
With mating
Extraterrestrials.
Whoa!
75
00:02:36,527 --> 00:02:39,930
Aah!
So not okay.
Respect boundaries!
76
00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:43,594
Good morning, sunshine.
77
00:02:43,594 --> 00:02:46,937
So, you seem to be very
Interested in this gentleman.
78
00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:48,539
Who is he?
Please tell me
You didn't just ask
79
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:49,900
Who mark ruffalo is.
80
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,643
Have you seriously not seen
"The kids are all right"?
81
00:02:52,643 --> 00:02:54,905
Oh, no. That's right.
I forgot.
82
00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:57,608
You two only go to the big,
Crap-fest studio movies.
83
00:03:00,251 --> 00:03:02,283
He played the hulk
In "The avengers."
84
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,214
Oh!
Oh!
85
00:03:03,214 --> 00:03:05,286
Mark ruffalo. Yeah.
Loved him. Loved him.
86
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,658
So, baby,
We have to talk to you
87
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:10,861
About something
That's a little... Grown-up.
88
00:03:10,861 --> 00:03:13,224
We wondered if
You had any questions for us
89
00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:14,865
Now that
You're getting older.
90
00:03:14,865 --> 00:03:18,329
Seriously? The sex talk?
91
00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:19,570
Awesome,
'cause I haven't learned
92
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:20,801
Everything there is to know
93
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,873
From tv, movies,
The fifth grade health class,
94
00:03:22,873 --> 00:03:24,775
The seventh grade health class,
The ninth grade health class.
95
00:03:24,775 --> 00:03:26,837
So the real question, parents,
96
00:03:26,837 --> 00:03:29,380
Is do you have
Any questions for me?
97
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:32,843
Because I'm pretty sure
I have more answers than you do.
98
00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:34,385
Whew.
99
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:39,750
Does all of that mean
That... You've already...
100
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:42,253
Done... Things?
101
00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:44,355
For example, reggie jackson
102
00:03:44,355 --> 00:03:47,598
Apparently is becoming a man,
Or whatever he is, so...
103
00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:50,331
Okay. "A"--ew.
104
00:03:52,803 --> 00:03:55,366
There doesn't seem
To be a "B."
105
00:03:55,366 --> 00:03:56,707
"Ew" is good enough for me.
If you're asking me this
106
00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:58,409
Because it's alien mating
Season, don't worry.
107
00:03:58,409 --> 00:04:00,271
I have no intention
Of doing it with an alien.
108
00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:01,872
So you know about mating season?
109
00:04:01,872 --> 00:04:04,775
Obvi.
Their mating, is, like,
110
00:04:04,775 --> 00:04:08,279
The most intense spiritual
Connection two beings can have.
111
00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:09,820
But you wouldn't understand.
112
00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:12,853
Now if you're done
Asking me stupid stuff,
113
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,385
Boundaries--
114
00:04:14,385 --> 00:04:15,286
Learn about 'em.
115
00:04:15,286 --> 00:04:16,887
God!
116
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:20,260
Okay, so no alien babies...
(claps hands)
117
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,262
Bursting out of her chest
Anytime soon.
118
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,964
I'm gonna go eat
Some nachos and lay down.
119
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,265
What does she mean,
"It's really intense,"
120
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,837
That
"We wouldn't understand"?
121
00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:30,871
We really take different things
From conversations.
122
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,507
(spritzing)
I was talking to amber
This morning,
123
00:04:36,507 --> 00:04:37,878
And she was alluding
124
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,611
To this very intense thing
That you do.
125
00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:44,815
For example, um,
You and larry bird
126
00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:48,559
Sleep in separate pods,
So what, actually, um...
127
00:04:48,559 --> 00:04:51,061
How--how does he touch you?
128
00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:52,423
Oh! He touches me here.
129
00:04:52,423 --> 00:04:55,426
With... What?
130
00:04:55,426 --> 00:04:57,868
Oh, our intimacy
Isn't physical.
131
00:04:57,868 --> 00:05:00,531
No. We connect spiritually--
132
00:05:00,531 --> 00:05:03,303
Exchanging compliments
133
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,735
And romantic feelings
Of togetherness
134
00:05:04,735 --> 00:05:08,379
Until finally,
At an emotional moment
135
00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:09,680
Of complete togetherness...
136
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,742
(whispers) we are one.
137
00:05:11,742 --> 00:05:14,014
Hot damn.
138
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,446
Mm.
139
00:05:15,446 --> 00:05:17,818
Marty is the worst
With compliments.
140
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,520
He says it makes him
Feel stupid
141
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,322
Getting all
"Chick flick girl schmoopy."
142
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,794
I mean, the closest I get
143
00:05:23,794 --> 00:05:26,026
Is when he's really into me,
He looks at me,
144
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,628
And he's like...
145
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,931
(imitates marty)
"Debbie weaver."
146
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,062
Mm.
147
00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:34,004
(whispers) it's not really
A compliment.
148
00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:36,707
(normal voice) well, the way
He says it, it's super...
149
00:05:36,707 --> 00:05:38,469
No, it's not really
A compliment, no.
150
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:39,510
No, it's not.
151
00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:42,713
While we're on the subject,
152
00:05:42,713 --> 00:05:46,817
How do humans...
You know...
153
00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:50,721
Oh, well, as humans,
We hug and we kiss.
154
00:05:50,721 --> 00:05:52,052
You know, we touch.
155
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,354
You touch?
156
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,456
How?
157
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,727
Well, in our case,
158
00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:59,430
Marty and I have perfected
A highly efficient,
159
00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:01,432
3-move, 10-minute routine
160
00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:02,533
Where everyone gets
What they want
161
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,695
Before a kid walks in.
162
00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:05,696
And, you know,
163
00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:08,368
It's... Super emotional.
164
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:14,445
(indistinct conversations)
165
00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:15,976
Hello, amber weaver.
166
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,048
Please forgive me if I don't
Look you in the eye.
167
00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:19,610
I'm in heat and afraid
168
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,482
I will uncontrollably connect
With you.
169
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,613
Don't worry about it.
This is high school.
170
00:06:22,613 --> 00:06:25,015
Everyone's in heat.
Look around.
171
00:06:28,759 --> 00:06:29,920
(laughter)
172
00:06:31,422 --> 00:06:32,923
I see.
173
00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:38,429
Oh, man.
Speaking of being in heat.
174
00:06:38,429 --> 00:06:40,471
Hi, jeremy.
175
00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:41,602
Hi.
176
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:45,606
Hey, roberto's parents
Are out of town.
177
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,177
Cool house
On the golf course.
178
00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:50,541
You can, like,
See tons of stars.
179
00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:51,542
You down to come?
180
00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:55,115
Yeah, sure. I like golf.
181
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:59,520
Stars. Phil mickelson.
182
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,421
It was a golf joke.
Oh.
183
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,423
(giggles)
184
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,655
Cool. I'll see you later.
185
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:07,858
You're welcome to bring
Your foreign exchange... Friend.
186
00:07:07,858 --> 00:07:09,560
Hola.
187
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,004
(gasps)
188
00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,536
(man on tv) in sports,
The national hockey league...
189
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,037
(debbie) marty,
Come in here a minute.
190
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:23,073
(rufus)
♪ tell me something good ♪
Ho, ho.
191
00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:26,116
Somebody's playing
Our sexy song, huh?
192
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:28,218
I thought we'd take
An anniversary bath together.
193
00:07:28,218 --> 00:07:30,050
Drink some wine,
194
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,682
Exchange sweet nothings.
195
00:07:31,682 --> 00:07:35,455
Yeah, honey, that is
Such a sweet idea.
196
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,128
But you know how I feel
About baths--
197
00:07:38,128 --> 00:07:39,590
You're sitting
In your own muck,
198
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,562
Things that are supposed
To dangle float.
199
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,464
(groans)
I was talking to jackie
About how they do things.
200
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,897
And then I thought
About how we do things,
201
00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:48,969
And I thought that maybe
202
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,873
We could be connecting
More... Romantically.
203
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,805
(glasses clink)
What?!
204
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,647
We rule in that department!
205
00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:58,879
Three moves, ten minutes,
Everyone's happy?
206
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,051
The weaver three in ten
207
00:08:01,051 --> 00:08:03,784
Is one of
Our finer achievements, right?
208
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,485
What, no?
Right, right,
209
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,487
But I-I wasn't
Talking about, um...
210
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:11,491
I-I was talking
More... Romance.
211
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,595
I mean,
When was the last time
212
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,567
You, like, told me
What you love about me?
213
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:18,799
You know how
I feel about you.
214
00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:24,835
Debbie weaver.
215
00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:27,007
I know. That's sweet.
216
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,508
But, um, I mean,
217
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,011
We had frozen pizza
For our anniversary,
218
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,713
And we didn't... You know,
219
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,615
I-I just think
We should take a bath.
220
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,916
Honey, I love you.
221
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:39,149
But honestly, I'm a little
Crampy from the pizza.
222
00:08:39,149 --> 00:08:41,521
You know, I think
I'm aging out of pepperoni.
223
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,023
But here's what we do--
224
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,525
You finish your wine
While you take a nice bath.
225
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,599
You relax. I'm gonna watch
"Sportscenter," okay?
226
00:08:48,599 --> 00:08:50,030
I'm gonna take some gas-x,
227
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,762
And then I'm gonna
Romance the crap out of you
228
00:08:51,762 --> 00:08:53,003
When you get--
Ugh. Forget about it.
229
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,635
What? What, no?
230
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,066
♪ tell me something good ♪
231
00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:58,709
(music stops)
Honey?
232
00:08:58,709 --> 00:09:00,210
(clicks)
233
00:09:02,172 --> 00:09:03,944
Wife?
234
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,545
I have arranged a setting
235
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,849
And await your love.
236
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,921
Va-va-voom!
237
00:09:10,921 --> 00:09:12,853
Wife.
238
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,825
Why aren't you
Wearing more clothes?
239
00:09:14,825 --> 00:09:16,556
(sighs) husband,
240
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,729
We have these human bodies.
241
00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:22,092
Wee should enjoy them
The way they do.
242
00:09:22,092 --> 00:09:24,665
What do you mean?
243
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,767
Oh, no. No,
I don't like that.
244
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,869
Yes. Just try it.
No, no, no.
245
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:29,870
No, okay.
That doesn't feel--
246
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,041
What about...
What are you doing?
247
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:32,743
(whispers) take them off.
No, I need those.
248
00:09:32,743 --> 00:09:34,605
Sorry, okay.
Otherwise, I won't
Be able to eat.
249
00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:35,606
Oh.
250
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:36,607
Ah, yes.
251
00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:38,979
No.
Yes.
252
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,651
But I want to tell you what
I love about your personality.
253
00:09:40,651 --> 00:09:41,882
Oh, just come closer.
254
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,914
(gasps)
Look, I--stop this!
255
00:09:43,914 --> 00:09:46,687
I really don't know
What sort of weird
256
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,758
You think I'm into,
257
00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:50,590
But I have no desire
To touch you, wife.
258
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:53,323
(exhales)
259
00:09:53,323 --> 00:09:54,825
Really!
260
00:09:58,669 --> 00:09:59,930
It was awful!
261
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:03,603
Your wife gave my wife
Revolting new ideas.
262
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,806
Jackie joyner-kersee
Was all over me.
263
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:06,907
What'd you do?
264
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,879
Well, I told her I found
Her human body disgusting,
265
00:10:08,879 --> 00:10:10,010
Because it is.
266
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:13,083
No, I messed up.
Oh, you know, I am the worst
267
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,885
At telling her
What she likes to hear.
268
00:10:14,885 --> 00:10:16,386
It literally makes me itch.
269
00:10:16,386 --> 00:10:18,288
You know, she just wanted
To connect
270
00:10:18,288 --> 00:10:20,320
And take a bath with me.
Ugh.
271
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,053
The thought of you
Floating in a bath...
Yeah, I know.
272
00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,325
It's just way too much...
The floating...
273
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,197
Information, marty.
I don't get it.
274
00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:28,729
(sighs)
275
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,201
While we're at it,
I really hate to ask you this,
276
00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:35,035
But debbie seems to be
Interested in how you guys...
277
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,707
You know, do things.
278
00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:37,708
So if you...
279
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:40,070
Come with me
To my garage.
280
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:42,042
I will show you everything.
281
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,874
Okay, but, larry,
I can't stress enough
282
00:10:43,874 --> 00:10:45,946
How much I prefer telling...
283
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,048
Over showing.
284
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,720
(under breath)
Telling over showing.
285
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:50,951
(crickets chirping)
286
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:54,024
(grunting)
287
00:10:54,024 --> 00:10:55,686
(screen whirs, clicks)
288
00:10:55,686 --> 00:11:00,130
This is an instructional film
From our planet,
289
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:02,833
Meant to educate
Our blossoming youth.
290
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,995
Okay. I'm ready.
Fire it up.
291
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:06,136
(projector beeps, whirs)
292
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:09,139
(man) welcome to instructional
Module number 7--
293
00:11:09,139 --> 00:11:11,101
Your first mating season.
294
00:11:11,101 --> 00:11:13,173
No doubt you've been noticing
Some changes
295
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,106
In your body
And in your mind.
296
00:11:16,106 --> 00:11:18,949
Maybe your back humps are
Beginning to swell and drop.
297
00:11:18,949 --> 00:11:23,013
Um, I'll fast-forward
Through puberty.
298
00:11:23,013 --> 00:11:24,955
That would be wonderful.
(whirs)
299
00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:27,057
Don't be surprised
If an unexpected compliment
300
00:11:27,057 --> 00:11:28,959
Suddenly springs to your lips.
301
00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:32,122
It's natural
And should be expressed.
302
00:11:32,122 --> 00:11:33,123
(high-pitched voice)
"I appreciate
303
00:11:33,123 --> 00:11:34,124
Your looks and mind."
304
00:11:34,124 --> 00:11:35,125
"And I yours."
305
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:37,267
(normal voice) wonderful.
306
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:42,002
Next, the male and female
Exchange unfiltered truths,
307
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,333
Until finally,
308
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:46,406
They speak the same truth
At the same moment.
309
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:49,409
This is consummation.
Let us demonstrate.
310
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,841
Okay, that's good enough
For me.
311
00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:52,813
Yeah.
Feeling a little steamy.
312
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,816
And now module 8--
Earth invasion.
313
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,849
Phase one--
Kill all the bees.
314
00:11:58,849 --> 00:12:00,751
(projector powers off,
Crickets chirping)
315
00:12:00,751 --> 00:12:03,093
Oh, that was nothing.
Good night, marty.
316
00:12:03,093 --> 00:12:06,096
♪♪♪
317
00:12:06,096 --> 00:12:08,158
(man)
♪ I am my own worst enemy ♪
318
00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:09,359
Thanks for the ride,
Amber weaver.
319
00:12:09,359 --> 00:12:11,361
Don't mention it.
Seriously, don't.
320
00:12:11,361 --> 00:12:14,765
I don't want people
To know we came together.
321
00:12:14,765 --> 00:12:15,766
Hey.
322
00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:17,137
You came.
323
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,009
Yeah, I came.
324
00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:21,912
A few of us are about
To head out to the golf course.
325
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:23,243
You feel like
Taking a walk?
326
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,875
Yeah, sure.
327
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,146
Great.
328
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,017
♪♪♪
329
00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:28,748
(loudly and slowly)
There are chips
330
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,081
And american movies
331
00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:33,453
In the other room.
332
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,925
(normal voice)
Meet you outside?
333
00:12:34,925 --> 00:12:36,426
Yeah.
334
00:12:36,426 --> 00:12:39,189
(girl) come on, misty,
Let's go.
335
00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:40,290
(girl) shut up, tiffany.
336
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:43,093
Amber, I don't know
If you noticed this,
337
00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:45,235
But it seems boys and girls
Are pairing off
338
00:12:45,235 --> 00:12:47,097
And going where jeremy
Wants to go with you.
339
00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:48,768
Yes, I got that.
I understand.
340
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,440
Are you okay?
341
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,004
No, I'm not.
I'm kind of freaking out.
342
00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:56,406
Will you just fake an emergency
And get me out of this, okay?
343
00:12:56,406 --> 00:12:58,178
I shall save you,
Amber weaver.
344
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,349
Amber! You coming?
345
00:12:59,349 --> 00:13:00,350
Totes!
346
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:03,353
♪♪♪
347
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:08,458
("Tell me something good"
Playing)
348
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,120
(switch clicks)
349
00:13:12,462 --> 00:13:16,126
♪ tell me that
You love me, yeah ♪
Well, hello, wife.
350
00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,168
What's going on?
351
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:19,499
Oh, I'll tell you
What's going on.
352
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,801
Chaka khan is on,
353
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,173
I'm in a robe,
354
00:13:23,173 --> 00:13:26,406
And I would like to shower you
With the sweet language of love.
355
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:30,881
So why don't you join me here
On my love blanket?
356
00:13:30,881 --> 00:13:32,913
Mmm. What makes it
A love blanket?
357
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,584
Well, it's a blanket...
358
00:13:34,584 --> 00:13:36,316
And I'm in love.
359
00:13:39,349 --> 00:13:40,350
(gasps)
360
00:13:43,193 --> 00:13:44,194
Husband?
361
00:13:44,194 --> 00:13:47,027
Wife, I've got something
For you
362
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,428
Under my slip.
363
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,060
Oh?
364
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:52,602
A bra.
365
00:13:52,602 --> 00:13:56,066
Seductive purr.
366
00:13:56,066 --> 00:13:58,408
Oh.
367
00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:03,513
Debbie,
368
00:14:03,513 --> 00:14:06,376
I want to give you
What you need, okay?
369
00:14:06,376 --> 00:14:09,079
And if it's giving
This alien routine a try,
370
00:14:09,079 --> 00:14:10,380
I'm in.
371
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:12,923
Really? You know it requires
A lot of talkin'.
372
00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:16,086
Oh, I have a veritable buttload
Of nice things to say to you.
373
00:14:16,086 --> 00:14:18,458
All right.
Let's do this.
374
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,489
Okay, great.
375
00:14:19,489 --> 00:14:21,291
So listen, it starts
With compliments,
376
00:14:21,291 --> 00:14:23,994
And then we move
Into exchanging truths--
377
00:14:23,994 --> 00:14:26,296
Whatever comes to mind,
Okay?
378
00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:27,597
So I will start.
379
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,542
Your hair looks beautiful.
380
00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:35,145
Oh, please. I haven't
Washed it in, like, three days.
381
00:14:35,145 --> 00:14:37,107
(laughs) ugh. Oh.
382
00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:41,251
Oh, okay. Uh, the lady
Is moving into truth telling.
383
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:43,483
Uh, that's good.
So tell me more.
384
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,956
You know, tell me what is
The most real,
385
00:14:45,956 --> 00:14:48,088
Honest thing that pops
Into your mind. Go ahead.
386
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,490
Actually, I haven't washed it
In four days.
387
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,092
Okay.
388
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,524
Something else
That pops into your mind.
389
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:59,469
We are overdrawn
On the checking account.
390
00:14:59,469 --> 00:15:00,500
Ah, okay, yeah.
391
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,502
You--thank you
For telling me that.
392
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:06,006
While we're at it,
I think the van needs some oil.
393
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,407
Seriously?
394
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,010
'cause I just
Gave it a quart.
395
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,241
There's gotta be a leak.
396
00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:14,414
Well, maybe it's time
For us to buy a new van.
397
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,387
Ooh. Can't afford
A down payment.
398
00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:20,020
Oh, but we keep pouring money
Into the old one.
399
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:23,393
Ooh, maybe we should just...
Mm... Mm...
400
00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:24,694
Lease.
Refinance.
401
00:15:24,694 --> 00:15:27,257
You see? That didn't work.
No.
402
00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:29,429
What--I was gonna say "Lease."
I was thinking "Lease."
403
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,031
I was--almost.
404
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,462
Oh, honey.
405
00:15:32,462 --> 00:15:35,535
I really appreciate
This effort. I do.
406
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,069
But I think I'm stirring a pot
That doesn't need to be stirred.
407
00:15:39,069 --> 00:15:41,241
18 years. A good family.
408
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,513
I don't need poetry.
I'm good.
409
00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:45,415
We have further questions.
Oh!
410
00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:46,576
Okay.
Of course you do.
411
00:15:46,576 --> 00:15:49,149
While I have been successful
At human mating,
412
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,151
Jackie joyner-kersee
413
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,682
Remains unable
To achieve satisfaction.
414
00:15:52,682 --> 00:15:53,683
Is that normal?
415
00:15:53,683 --> 00:15:54,954
No.
Yeah.
416
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,626
Damn.
417
00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:58,058
How do you stage an emergency
418
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,329
That'll break up
A human sex party?
419
00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:01,531
Oh, honey,
I know what this looks like,
420
00:16:01,531 --> 00:16:03,093
But this isn't a sex party.
421
00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:06,166
Not you. Amber.
422
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,297
What?!
423
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,471
So you see
That star right there?
424
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,443
That's the milky way.
425
00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:17,147
And the one just above it,
Right there?
426
00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:19,509
That's the southern cross.
427
00:16:19,509 --> 00:16:21,281
Hmm.
428
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,682
You know a lot.
429
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,384
Yeah.
430
00:16:27,357 --> 00:16:28,758
You seem kind of nervous.
431
00:16:28,758 --> 00:16:31,391
You know what?
432
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,363
I am nervous.
433
00:16:33,363 --> 00:16:36,466
You're extremely popular.
434
00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:40,170
And I'm looking around
At all the other girls here,
435
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:43,333
And they're all
Really popular, too.
436
00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:47,477
But people also call them
"Slutbags" an awful lot.
437
00:16:48,638 --> 00:16:51,081
Also, the milky way
Isn't a star,
438
00:16:51,081 --> 00:16:53,383
And the southern cross
Is in the southern hemisphere,
439
00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:56,486
And bad astronomy is just,
Like, a really big turn-off.
440
00:16:57,547 --> 00:17:01,751
I was faking
Being good at astronomy.
441
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:04,494
Eh, whatever.
442
00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:06,596
I'm covered in bronzer.
443
00:17:06,596 --> 00:17:08,498
(laughs)
444
00:17:08,498 --> 00:17:10,700
Well, look, amber,
445
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,563
We could just hang out.
446
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:15,605
It's all cool.
(car horn honking)
447
00:17:15,605 --> 00:17:17,507
(marty) I'm coming, baby!
Daddy'll save you!
448
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:20,070
(debbie)
Respect yourself, honey!
449
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:21,641
Oh, my god.
450
00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:25,715
Attack!
451
00:17:25,715 --> 00:17:27,247
You should run. Go.
452
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,449
I will hunt you down, you!
453
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,221
Tell me you didn't
Bring parents into a plan
454
00:17:31,221 --> 00:17:33,623
Designed to keep me
From looking lame.
I didn't?
455
00:17:33,623 --> 00:17:35,255
What's going on?
Honey, are you okay?
456
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,626
Oh, yes, mother.
I'm wonderful.
457
00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:38,488
Reggie jackson said
You needed rescuing,
458
00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:41,231
So we're here.
459
00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:43,793
I'm humiliated.
460
00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:47,597
I'll go talk to her.
461
00:17:47,597 --> 00:17:49,169
Actually, no.
462
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,271
I think it's time
That I expand my duties.
463
00:17:58,748 --> 00:17:59,749
Hey.
464
00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:05,515
Sorry we embarrassed you.
465
00:18:05,515 --> 00:18:06,816
I don't know why
I got so nervous.
466
00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:08,718
He probably just wanted
To make out.
467
00:18:08,718 --> 00:18:10,390
Make out?
468
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,723
Right, cool.
469
00:18:13,723 --> 00:18:16,166
That's cool.
470
00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:18,128
I just...
471
00:18:18,128 --> 00:18:20,330
I don't know why
I freaked out.
472
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:21,731
Well, honey, probably
For the same reason
473
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:23,773
I'm so bad
At talking about this stuff,
474
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:26,536
Because it's confusing.
475
00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:29,209
I know you think you got
It all figured out
476
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,611
Because you wear black
And you know how to use google,
477
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,712
But it's complicated.
478
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,415
I mean, look at
All of us, okay?
479
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,786
We're like 100,
480
00:18:36,786 --> 00:18:38,588
And we're still trying
To sort this stuff out.
481
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:42,152
You are really old for this.
482
00:18:42,152 --> 00:18:43,393
I'm very old.
483
00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:44,654
He got away.
484
00:18:44,654 --> 00:18:47,227
We got a hunk of his hair
For the dogs.
485
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,299
We'll have him
By daybreak.
486
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,662
I'm also sorry for that.
487
00:18:52,662 --> 00:18:54,764
Look, my point is that
488
00:18:54,764 --> 00:18:57,337
I'm gonna always be here
If you need to talk.
489
00:18:57,337 --> 00:19:01,311
Okay? I might not
Be good at it, okay?
490
00:19:01,311 --> 00:19:03,543
I might throw up.
491
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,675
But I love you, okay?
492
00:19:05,675 --> 00:19:08,147
So I'm gonna keep trying.
493
00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:12,522
(kisses)
494
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,457
Wow.
495
00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:24,764
Did you see that?
496
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,666
She didn't yell at me.
497
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,167
She kissed me.
498
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,599
I know, honey. I saw it.
499
00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:32,171
I saw it, and you being
A great dad to your daughter
500
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,744
Is the sexiest thing
In the world to me.
501
00:19:34,744 --> 00:19:37,747
Oh, yeah? What else you want me
To do to our daughter?
502
00:19:37,747 --> 00:19:39,279
Wow. That's not what I--
503
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,850
I--when I was thinking--I knew
It came out the wrong way.
504
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:42,252
You know what? It's okay.
It's okay.
505
00:19:42,252 --> 00:19:43,813
You don't always
Have to say the right thing.
506
00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:44,854
And by the way,
507
00:19:44,854 --> 00:19:47,257
The weaver three in ten
Is frickin' awesome!
508
00:19:47,257 --> 00:19:48,818
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
509
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,961
I'm no good with words, deb.
510
00:19:51,961 --> 00:19:53,463
You know?
511
00:19:53,463 --> 00:19:58,728
There's not a lot of poets
Coming out of bayonne.
512
00:19:58,728 --> 00:20:00,230
But you're my whole world.
513
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:03,273
You have to know that.
If I don't say that enough,
514
00:20:03,273 --> 00:20:06,876
That's because
Words aren't enough.
515
00:20:06,876 --> 00:20:08,708
At least not
The ones I know.
516
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,311
(ben rector's "Wanna be loved"
Playing)
517
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,313
Marty weaver.
(laughs)
518
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:17,287
♪♪♪
519
00:20:17,287 --> 00:20:19,989
(together)
Oh, that's how you do it.
520
00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:25,895
♪ we just wanna be loved ♪
521
00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:36,406
(door slides closed)
522
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,308
Apologies, amber.
523
00:20:38,308 --> 00:20:39,709
Just stop. You're killing me
With the constant
524
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,611
Humiliating me
And then apologizing.
525
00:20:41,611 --> 00:20:42,672
You've got to do better.
526
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,615
I know.
527
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,947
But...
528
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:52,251
Aside from all the horror,
529
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,723
You did come through...
530
00:20:53,723 --> 00:20:55,525
In your own way.
531
00:20:55,525 --> 00:20:57,657
And having you around,
It actually
532
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,629
Feels like I have
A real...
533
00:20:59,629 --> 00:21:01,761
Sister.
Friend.
534
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,394
Oh, my god,
You're such a...
535
00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:05,795
(both) loser.
536
00:21:05,795 --> 00:21:06,996
(electricity powers down)
537
00:21:06,996 --> 00:21:08,998
(gasps)
538
00:21:08,998 --> 00:21:11,641
Well, this is
Uncomfortable.
539
00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:13,473
That's not good.
37517
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof