All language subtitles for The Neighbors (2012) S01E06 Larry Bird and the Iron Throne (1080p AMZN Webrip x265 10bit EAC3 5.1 - TheSickle)[TAoE]_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:02,303
My name is debie weaver.
2
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,674
This is my family.
3
00:00:03,674 --> 00:00:05,005
This is our old apartment
In bayonne, new jersey.
4
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,638
My husband marty got us a deal
On a town house--
5
00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:10,041
Nicer neighborhood,
Wider streets.
6
00:00:10,041 --> 00:00:11,682
Just one little problem.
7
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:14,115
Our neighbors are all
From another planet...
8
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:15,416
Literally.
9
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,350
(doorbell rings)
10
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:21,592
Greetings, debbie weaver.
11
00:00:21,592 --> 00:00:24,655
Why does your spirit shine
So brightly this fine morning?
12
00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:26,597
Oh, I don't know.
13
00:00:26,597 --> 00:00:29,660
I ate, like, an entire box
Of cereal about an hour ago.
14
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:30,661
Oh, debbie weaver,
15
00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:32,633
Your eating issues
Amuse me so.
16
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,706
Well, I appreciate that,
Dick.
17
00:00:35,706 --> 00:00:37,508
Is there something
You want to ask dick?
18
00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:40,771
Do you want to come
To my birthday party?
19
00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:42,073
Absolutely.
20
00:00:42,073 --> 00:00:43,414
What's a birthday?
21
00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:48,579
Oh.
22
00:00:48,579 --> 00:00:52,083
Well, we have 365 days
In one of our years.
23
00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:53,084
Go on.
24
00:00:53,084 --> 00:00:55,186
12 months, 30 days or so
In a month.
25
00:00:55,186 --> 00:00:57,328
The math works. Continue.
26
00:00:57,328 --> 00:01:00,331
So when a person is born,
That's their birthday.
27
00:01:00,331 --> 00:01:01,662
And once a year,
28
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,165
We celebrate their birth
To make them feel special.
29
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,137
There's gonna be cake
And presents,
30
00:01:06,137 --> 00:01:08,499
And mommy's even gonna
Get me a bounce house.
31
00:01:08,499 --> 00:01:10,771
Mm?
32
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,072
I didn't know "Birthday."
33
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,274
You think
I know "Bounce house"?
34
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,146
Oh, well,
We are going all out.
35
00:01:15,146 --> 00:01:17,348
It's the first time
That we've had all this space,
36
00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,610
And I'm trying to make up
For the fact
37
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:21,412
That she had to leave
All her old friends...
38
00:01:21,412 --> 00:01:22,413
(clenched teeth)
And that we didn't get
39
00:01:22,413 --> 00:01:23,414
The puppy that we promised.
40
00:01:23,414 --> 00:01:24,685
Puppy? What?!
41
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,117
What?!
42
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:29,290
Basically, for parents,
43
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,461
A birthday is a chance
To make up
44
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,123
For the other 364 days,
45
00:01:32,123 --> 00:01:35,626
When you probably have scarred
Your child emotionally, so...
46
00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:37,598
Anyway, it's gonna be
Incredible.
47
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,099
(marty) gonna be awful.
48
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,302
I mean, don't get me wrong--
My wife is the best. You know.
49
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,733
I haven't been
Blown away.
50
00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:45,136
For three days each year,
She turns into a holy terror,
51
00:01:45,136 --> 00:01:47,538
'cause whenever she plans
These birthday things,
52
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:48,579
(whispers)
She goes a little mental.
53
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,841
(normal voice)
Watch.
54
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,483
(beeps)
55
00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:54,145
(marty) okay, hon, it's abby's
Third birthday party.
56
00:01:54,145 --> 00:01:55,816
Can you give me
A big smile?
57
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,588
You want my best party smile?
No.
58
00:01:57,588 --> 00:01:59,320
I got 40 kids coming here
In 10 minutes,
59
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,691
And you want me to smile?
60
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:03,554
And all that crazy was contained
In a small apartment.
61
00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:05,556
Now that crazy can run free
62
00:02:05,556 --> 00:02:08,659
In 1,800 square feet
And a yard.
63
00:02:08,659 --> 00:02:10,130
Who knows what will happen?
64
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,163
Oh, look! It's a calming glass
Of white wine.
65
00:02:12,163 --> 00:02:13,734
Where did that--
(glass shatters)
66
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:16,737
Okay.
67
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:17,738
I won't lie.
68
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,511
She's starting to grow on me.
69
00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:27,718
♪♪♪
70
00:02:27,718 --> 00:02:30,321
(speaking indistinctly)
71
00:02:30,321 --> 00:02:31,922
I have not made
Any final decisions.
72
00:02:31,922 --> 00:02:34,154
I'd like your thoughts.
Oh, I have no thoughts.
73
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,256
And I love you for it.
74
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,157
I thought we would put
The magician/clown
75
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,158
In the living room.
I love it.
76
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,461
Princess castle
In the backyard.
Yes.
77
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,562
That way, when we dig
The moat...
78
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,334
A moat?!
79
00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:45,836
Is good idea.
Another good idea.
80
00:02:45,836 --> 00:02:48,839
Put banners and streamers
Up from the party store.
81
00:02:48,839 --> 00:02:51,202
Apparently they're getting her
A unicorn cake.
82
00:02:51,202 --> 00:02:54,205
Clearly, they've never
Tasted unicorn before.
83
00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:55,946
I tried to warn her.
84
00:02:55,946 --> 00:02:57,608
To show affection
To the birth-ed one,
85
00:02:57,608 --> 00:02:58,609
They give presents.
86
00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:00,351
Hmm.
87
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:01,552
Maybe I will get amber
A present.
88
00:03:01,552 --> 00:03:03,514
It's unclear,
But you may need
89
00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:05,286
To involve a fat man
In a red suit
90
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,617
Who comes down a chimney.
91
00:03:06,617 --> 00:03:07,818
Hmm.
92
00:03:07,818 --> 00:03:10,361
(kisses) okay. I have to
Get to work.
93
00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:11,362
Oh. He's leaving again.
94
00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:14,625
Probably going to
Hunt down that poor unicorn.
95
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,667
Mnh. He's going
To his place of work.
96
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:18,269
I want you
To go and observe.
97
00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:20,531
And why would I do that?
98
00:03:20,531 --> 00:03:22,333
Because we're not
Learning quickly enough.
99
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:23,674
We didn't know "Birthday."
100
00:03:23,674 --> 00:03:25,536
We barely understand
Their form of government.
101
00:03:25,536 --> 00:03:27,308
(scoffs) democracy.
102
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:30,210
These humans
Are ridiculous and stupid.
103
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,743
They're not ridiculous
And stupid.
104
00:03:32,743 --> 00:03:35,286
They're well-meaning
And stupid.
105
00:03:35,286 --> 00:03:37,618
We must make an effort.
106
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,490
I'm going to learn
About birthdays.
107
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,221
You need to learn
About work.
108
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,323
(mouths words)
109
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,656
(engine starts)
110
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,361
(tires screech, thud)
111
00:03:52,263 --> 00:03:53,804
Larry, are you okay?
112
00:03:53,804 --> 00:03:56,467
I will be joining you at your
Occupation today, marty weaver.
113
00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:59,310
Yeah, I'm sorry,
But that's not the way things--
114
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:00,671
Excuse denied.
115
00:04:00,671 --> 00:04:02,343
Do not worry,
Marty weaver.
116
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,314
I've researched
Your occupations.
117
00:04:03,314 --> 00:04:04,475
I will blend right in.
118
00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:05,746
(telephone rings)
119
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,648
This is it.
Rock 'n' stroll, incorporated.
120
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,451
We are the second-largest
Baby supply manufacturer
121
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,923
On the eastern seaboard.
Larry, put that down.
122
00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:14,555
Put it--put it down.
Go ahead.
123
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,026
So if I'm to understand it,
124
00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:18,659
This dreadful place
Is where you spend
125
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,331
Five of the seven days
Of your week,
126
00:04:20,331 --> 00:04:22,963
All to provide for
A family that you barely see...
127
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,336
(sniffs) because you spend
All your time here?
128
00:04:25,336 --> 00:04:26,367
Yeah, in a nutshell.
129
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,969
And where do you keep
Your slaves? In these cages?
130
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,441
(whispers) larry! Shh!
131
00:04:30,441 --> 00:04:32,603
(normal voice) hey,
How you doing, marcus?
132
00:04:32,603 --> 00:04:35,306
All right, man.
133
00:04:35,306 --> 00:04:36,877
I'm gonna show you
My office now, okay?
134
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,379
But behave, please.
135
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,451
Okay? I like my job.
I don't want to lose it.
136
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,284
Hmm.
137
00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:46,317
(sniffs)
138
00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:48,419
I used to be
In the bullpen, too,
139
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:50,421
Until three years ago,
140
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:52,693
When my boss
Made me head of inventory,
141
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,825
And then I got...
142
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,399
This.
143
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,400
(car horn blares)
144
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,432
Now, I-I know it's not much,
145
00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:03,504
But I don't know.
I'm pretty proud of it.
146
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,835
Why?
147
00:05:04,835 --> 00:05:08,439
Anyway, this is my desk.
That's my computer.
148
00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:09,640
(woman) morning, marty.
149
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,013
Oh, and this is my godsend
Of a boss.
(chair whirs)
150
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,015
How you doing? Rebecca hill.
(whirring stops)
151
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,448
Rebecca hill, this is--
152
00:05:17,448 --> 00:05:20,320
This is my foreign friend--
Larry.
153
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,823
And, uh, he's visiting
For a few days,
154
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,725
And I don't really
Get to see him much,
155
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,927
So if you don't mind,
He's gonna shadow me.
156
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,460
Oh, yeah, sure, I guess
That'll be okay.
157
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,362
Okay.
It's nice
To meet you, larry.
158
00:05:31,362 --> 00:05:32,332
Mm-hmm.
159
00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:36,837
So, marty, how is that
Inventory report coming?
(sniffs)
160
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,038
Taggart gets here on monday,
161
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,940
But he wants to review it
Over the weekend.
162
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:40,941
You will have it
By tomorrow, boss.
163
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,513
No problem.
You are the best.
164
00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:43,674
You're the best.
Oh...
165
00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:45,345
(whirring resumes)
And, uh, larry, uh,
166
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,418
You are welcome to stay
As long as you want.
167
00:05:47,418 --> 00:05:50,050
Any friend of marty's is
A friend of rock 'n' stroll.
168
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,782
Thanks, rebecca.
Sure.
169
00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:52,983
Okay.
170
00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:59,089
Marty weaver,
171
00:05:59,089 --> 00:06:01,932
If you listen to me
And do everything I say,
172
00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:05,636
We will remove her from power
And seize her throne.
173
00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:10,871
You have no imagination.
174
00:06:14,805 --> 00:06:16,847
Amber weaver.
Weird kid.
175
00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:18,909
I was wondering--
If I had a birthday
176
00:06:18,909 --> 00:06:22,453
And was to ask for a gift,
What should I ask for?
177
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:24,485
I don't know. My mom's
Making me move chairs.
178
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,956
I have to concentrate.
179
00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:27,387
What would you ask for?
180
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,490
All right, you're weirding me
Out. Are we done?
181
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,391
It would appear so.
182
00:06:33,524 --> 00:06:34,925
She's terrifying!
183
00:06:34,925 --> 00:06:36,967
I know.
184
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:39,399
Okay, guys, just inflate
The bounce house
185
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,631
And just get the hell
Out of here.
186
00:06:40,631 --> 00:06:42,573
De-debbie weaver!
About birthdays--
187
00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:44,635
There's still a few things
I don't under--
(whispers) don't!
188
00:06:44,635 --> 00:06:46,537
But--
No.
189
00:06:46,537 --> 00:06:48,138
(air hissing)
190
00:06:48,138 --> 00:06:51,512
Does this look like
A princess castle to you?
191
00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:55,486
(all) ooh!
192
00:06:55,486 --> 00:06:58,449
Okay, before each birthday,
I make some kind of fort,
193
00:06:58,449 --> 00:07:00,891
And I stay in it
Until the party's over.
194
00:07:00,891 --> 00:07:02,893
I suggest you do the same.
195
00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:05,596
That person over there is not
My mother. Look at her.
196
00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:08,559
A dinosaur! I get it!
197
00:07:08,559 --> 00:07:11,462
It's extinct, just like
My daughter's dreams
198
00:07:11,462 --> 00:07:13,163
For a fun party!
199
00:07:13,163 --> 00:07:15,005
But she wants it to be
Such a nice event.
200
00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,807
She's a powder keg.
201
00:07:16,807 --> 00:07:19,740
And at some point,
She's gonna go off.
202
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,742
(hisses)
203
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,544
Take it away!
Take it away!
204
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,616
Ooh...
205
00:07:25,616 --> 00:07:28,619
Oh, would you please go home?!
206
00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:29,880
(whispers) boom.
207
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,852
Aw.
208
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,058
I'm the birthday princess!
209
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,091
I'm the birthday princess!
210
00:07:41,091 --> 00:07:42,863
Hey, max, one per bag.
211
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,035
And don't fake sloppy
To get out of it.
212
00:07:45,035 --> 00:07:47,137
Jackie, sorry to ask again,
213
00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:49,039
But are you sure
You know how to curl a ribbon?
214
00:07:49,039 --> 00:07:50,541
I was co-captain of a ship
215
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:52,503
Which traveled
40,000 light-years to get here.
216
00:07:52,503 --> 00:07:54,074
I think I can curl a ribbon.
217
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,776
I know it's simple,
But I need it done right.
218
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,649
I don't wanna get upset.
I really don't.
219
00:07:58,649 --> 00:08:01,251
So everyone in here
Can help me not get upset
220
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:04,785
By doing things
Exactly how I ask!
221
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:05,856
Sound like a plan?
222
00:08:05,856 --> 00:08:07,888
I'll curl the ribbon.
223
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,662
Dick butkus,
What are you doing?
224
00:08:11,662 --> 00:08:13,794
Stuck! Stuck! Stuck!
225
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,025
Max, help him.
226
00:08:15,025 --> 00:08:17,828
Husband. Are you not
Attending work
227
00:08:17,828 --> 00:08:18,969
With marty weaver today?
228
00:08:18,969 --> 00:08:20,701
Of course not.
229
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,673
It's meaningless and boring
And I'm never going back.
230
00:08:22,673 --> 00:08:24,274
And his boss is literally
231
00:08:24,274 --> 00:08:26,136
The laziest person
I've ever seen.
232
00:08:26,136 --> 00:08:27,878
Hey, larry, if you're here,
You're helping.
233
00:08:27,878 --> 00:08:30,911
I need streamers to be hung,
I need gift bags to be stuffed.
234
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,883
(voice distorting)
Balloons to be blown...
235
00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:38,218
(distorted voices
Speaking indistinctly)
236
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:43,994
(tires screech, thud)
237
00:08:43,994 --> 00:08:45,556
Oh, come on!
238
00:08:45,556 --> 00:08:46,827
(door closes)
239
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,228
I'm coming back to work.
240
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,229
No.
241
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,962
Your wife...
The party...
242
00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:52,963
Must avoid.
243
00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:56,667
Okay, get in.
244
00:08:56,667 --> 00:09:00,571
("I know what I want"
By irya's playground playing)
245
00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:03,574
(grunting)
246
00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:10,050
No, no, no, no,
No, no, no, no.
247
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,022
Come on. Gotta put it
Up higher,
248
00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:14,985
So everyone can see it.
That's it.
249
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:17,688
Yeah. That looks good.
250
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:21,662
♪ I know what I want ♪
251
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,163
You want in?
♪ I know what I don't ♪
252
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,165
♪ I know what I want ♪
253
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,798
♪♪♪
254
00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:30,901
♪ you don't have to
Spend more time ♪
255
00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:35,005
(bubbling)
♪ pacing to and fro ♪
256
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:36,907
♪ don't turn around ♪
257
00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:38,609
I know I am not right,
258
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:40,010
And I know it's not natural.
259
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:42,052
And I will look back
On the rage
260
00:09:42,052 --> 00:09:43,784
I am feeling right now,
261
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,757
And be disappointed
In myself.
262
00:09:48,218 --> 00:09:50,590
But I told you
To curl the ribbon,
263
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,262
And you did not
Curl the ribbon.
264
00:09:52,262 --> 00:09:53,924
And now I feel a need
To double-check
265
00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:55,926
All the ribbon
You claim to have curled,
266
00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:57,367
And that upsets me.
267
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:58,929
Entering.
268
00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:03,634
I've decided what I'd want
If I had a birthday.
269
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:05,035
Yes?
270
00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,376
I'd want
A birthday party.
271
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:07,808
Oh, dick.
272
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:11,181
I would give you the moon
And the stars if I could.
273
00:10:11,181 --> 00:10:14,715
But mother has seen war
And famine and death.
274
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,717
And yet she has never
Seen anything
275
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,289
Quite as terrifying
Nor as confounding
276
00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:21,992
As a child's birthday party.
277
00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:24,825
Testify.
278
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,927
So that's a "No"
On the birthday party?
279
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,129
That is a "No."
♪ oh, oh, go ♪
280
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,731
♪ oh, oh, go ♪
281
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,902
(knock on door)
282
00:10:31,902 --> 00:10:33,163
Come in.
283
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,167
Happy birthday,
Amber weaver.
284
00:10:39,369 --> 00:10:41,041
It's not my birthday, dude.
285
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,113
Oh. Is that a requirement?
286
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,080
It's a synopsis of everything
That's happened in the universe
287
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,022
Since the day of your birth.
288
00:10:54,324 --> 00:10:57,988
I got it all
On one tile.
289
00:10:57,988 --> 00:10:59,960
It took a long time.
290
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,763
Right.
291
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,796
This is not the present
You would wish for?
292
00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:07,397
You know what
I'd wish for, reggie?
293
00:11:07,397 --> 00:11:10,340
I'd wish to be back
In my own room in bayonne,
294
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:12,172
Looking out
Over my old street,
295
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,974
And not living in a place
296
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,405
Where I have
Nothing to do after school
297
00:11:15,405 --> 00:11:19,079
But help my mom decorate
For a kid's birthday party.
298
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,011
Everything that's happened
In the universe
299
00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:23,053
Since the day of your birth.
300
00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:25,816
All on one tile.
301
00:11:25,816 --> 00:11:29,689
Yeah. Well...
I appreciate the thought.
302
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,393
It literally unlocks all
The mysteries of the universe.
303
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,995
Perpetual motion?
304
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:38,228
Who killed kennedy?
Why men have nipples?
305
00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:40,030
Nothing?
306
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,033
(clank)
307
00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:46,737
(keyboard clicking,
Telephone rings)
308
00:11:46,737 --> 00:11:47,838
(ring)
309
00:11:47,838 --> 00:11:49,209
Hey, babe.
310
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,941
The birthday party's tomorrow,
And I haven't made a dent.
311
00:11:50,941 --> 00:11:52,142
I need you.
312
00:11:52,142 --> 00:11:54,044
I'm just trying to get
These figures to add up
313
00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:55,145
So I can hand in
This report.
314
00:11:55,145 --> 00:11:57,047
The rapunzel princess
Is coming in the morning.
315
00:11:57,047 --> 00:11:58,248
I need you
To go get the cake.
316
00:11:58,248 --> 00:12:00,751
Oh, and we need soda.
Oh, and, marty,
317
00:12:00,751 --> 00:12:02,192
Do you think
That the magician/clown
318
00:12:02,192 --> 00:12:03,924
Is gonna be too frightening
For the kids?
319
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,156
What if he's more
Clown/magician?
320
00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:08,028
I should have
Vetted him more thoroughly.
321
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,060
Honey, baby,
Take a breath, okay?
322
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:13,063
We've got this. You are
The best mother in the world.
323
00:12:13,063 --> 00:12:14,734
Abby's gonna remember
This birthday party
324
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,136
On her deathbed one day,
325
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,107
Okay?
326
00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:18,839
Good. That's good.
I need more of that.
327
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,241
On abby's deathbed,
She's going to...
328
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,843
Okay, a little less
Of abby's deathbed.
329
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,074
Look, I'll be there.
330
00:12:24,074 --> 00:12:26,276
There's nothing that we
Can't get through together,
331
00:12:26,276 --> 00:12:28,819
Even a 6-year-old's
Birthday party, okay?
332
00:12:28,819 --> 00:12:30,750
And if I get
Out of control,
333
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,482
You'll--you'll talk
Some sense into me?
334
00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:34,154
That's what I do.
335
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,227
In a way that doesn't make me
Feel small and insane?
336
00:12:37,227 --> 00:12:38,228
That's the gig.
337
00:12:38,228 --> 00:12:40,260
I love you, baby.
338
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,062
And I love you
Times two, baby.
339
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,233
Yes, I do.
340
00:12:45,035 --> 00:12:47,767
"I love you times two"?
341
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,971
Beware. If I regurgitate,
It will melt you.
342
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:54,074
I can't seem to get
These numbers to add up.
343
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,505
I must have done
Something wrong.
344
00:12:55,505 --> 00:12:57,147
No, your mathematics
Are correct.
345
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:59,079
You merely used
Last year's figures.
346
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,311
I noticed it yesterday.
347
00:13:01,311 --> 00:13:03,153
Oh, my god.
348
00:13:03,153 --> 00:13:05,085
I have to start
From the beginning.
349
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,786
Why didn't you say something?
(whirring)
350
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,859
Marty.
Hey.
351
00:13:08,859 --> 00:13:11,791
How we looking
On inventory?
352
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,563
I may need
A little extra time.
353
00:13:13,563 --> 00:13:15,025
He may need
An extra week.
354
00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:17,427
Um, marty, taggart wants
To review this over the weekend.
355
00:13:17,427 --> 00:13:20,070
Right. You know, I'm gonna
Work all day tomorrow,
356
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:23,233
And I will have them for him
Tomorrow night.
357
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:24,504
Okay.
All right.
358
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,206
Sorry, dude.
359
00:13:27,277 --> 00:13:28,278
(clicks)
360
00:13:28,278 --> 00:13:31,341
(whirring)
361
00:13:31,341 --> 00:13:34,114
But you can't work tomorrow.
Tomorrow's the birthday party.
362
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,115
I know.
363
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,316
You just called your wife
364
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,188
And said that you would
Get through the event together.
365
00:13:38,188 --> 00:13:39,349
It seemed to calm her.
366
00:13:39,349 --> 00:13:40,550
Yeah, I know, larry.
367
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,452
And then you said,
"I love you times two,"
368
00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:43,593
And I almost regurgitated,
369
00:13:43,593 --> 00:13:45,495
And now you may
Have to miss the party
370
00:13:45,495 --> 00:13:47,457
In order to fix
Your erroneous work.
371
00:13:47,457 --> 00:13:50,330
You seem to have summed up
The situation perfectly, larry.
372
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,203
Oh, good.
I feel better now.
373
00:13:53,203 --> 00:13:55,205
(exhales)
374
00:13:56,566 --> 00:13:59,069
(sighs)
375
00:14:05,415 --> 00:14:07,477
Ugh! This is a disaster.
376
00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:09,249
What happened now?
377
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,521
I get to the bakery,
Get the cake, pay,
378
00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:14,184
I don't even look at it
Till I get in the driveway.
379
00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:15,855
They gave me the wrong one.
380
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,228
I make a call,
Someone else has our cake.
381
00:14:18,228 --> 00:14:19,389
So can't you just
Get another one?
382
00:14:19,389 --> 00:14:21,391
No!
This was a special order.
383
00:14:21,391 --> 00:14:24,935
The whole thing
Was a unicorn's head!
384
00:14:24,935 --> 00:14:27,267
And who the hell is this?
385
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,299
It's not rapunzel?
386
00:14:29,299 --> 00:14:31,641
No, jackie,
That is not rapunzel!
387
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:33,103
(man's voice echoing)
I have all the costumes
388
00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:34,374
In the trunk if you want.
389
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,446
But I don't know
Rapunzel's shtick.
390
00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:39,109
Also, I have a beard.
391
00:14:39,109 --> 00:14:41,351
Oh, my god, jackie,
You are killing me!
392
00:14:41,351 --> 00:14:43,383
Why didn't you call me?
393
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,185
The whole thing
Is falling apart!
394
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,186
Okay, that's it!
395
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,187
Larry bird was right!
396
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,519
Humans are ridiculous
And stupid,
397
00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:52,122
And your birthday parties
Are the stupidest things of all!
398
00:14:52,122 --> 00:14:54,024
They turn human beings
Into lunatics,
399
00:14:54,024 --> 00:14:55,495
And I am out!
400
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,067
Jackie, wait.
401
00:14:57,067 --> 00:15:00,000
They don't turn
All people into lunatics,
402
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,901
Just me.
403
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,503
There is great power
In the dark side.
404
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,975
Shut up.
405
00:15:04,975 --> 00:15:07,037
(gasps) debbie weaver,
What has happened to you?
406
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:09,279
Oh, god. (exhales)
407
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:12,512
I'm so sorry, jackie.
408
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,615
Growing up, I had
Three sisters and two brothers.
409
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,217
We had nothing.
410
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,489
Three of us
Had birthdays in december.
411
00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:21,651
So once a year, we'd pick
A day in december,
412
00:15:21,651 --> 00:15:25,295
Get a cheap cupcake, and put
One birthday candle in it.
413
00:15:25,295 --> 00:15:27,457
That was basically
My childhood.
414
00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:29,599
But then I met marty,
415
00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:32,562
This amazingly kind man,
416
00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:36,136
And we got married,
And we had kids,
417
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:40,040
And I promised myself that I
Would be the best mother ever.
418
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,713
And that my children would
Feel special on their birthdays.
419
00:15:43,713 --> 00:15:44,714
Oh.
420
00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:47,277
Well, even though
It's not perfect,
421
00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:49,479
It's going to be
A wonderful party.
422
00:15:49,479 --> 00:15:51,521
No, it's not.
423
00:15:51,521 --> 00:15:53,623
I make everyone crazy.
424
00:15:53,623 --> 00:15:55,585
Party is a bust.
425
00:15:57,527 --> 00:16:00,560
Zabvronians,
426
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,162
We have watched
In wonder this week
427
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,693
As debbie weaver
Planned a birthday party,
428
00:16:03,693 --> 00:16:04,694
Have we not?
429
00:16:04,694 --> 00:16:05,695
(woman) we have.
(man) we did.
430
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:06,696
She's crazy.
431
00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:08,498
She screamed and stomped.
432
00:16:08,498 --> 00:16:11,001
It seemed that birthdays
Were a thing to be feared.
433
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,073
Debbie weaver,
A woman to be avoided.
Totally.
434
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,474
Yes!
That was my takeaway.
435
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,607
But I have heard her story.
And I would tell it to you now,
436
00:16:17,607 --> 00:16:18,548
But it's incredibly depressing,
437
00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:20,010
And I don't think
You'd handle it.
438
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,451
It involves a cupcake...
439
00:16:21,451 --> 00:16:22,612
(lowered voice)
What's a cupcake?
440
00:16:22,612 --> 00:16:24,184
Zabvronians,
441
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:27,587
Today we stand
With our neighbor.
442
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,259
This party cannot fail.
443
00:16:29,259 --> 00:16:34,024
Today, we celebrate
Abby weaver's birthday!
444
00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:35,525
(zabvronians) yay.
445
00:16:35,525 --> 00:16:37,497
Jackie, I appreciate that--
Debbie weaver,
446
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,469
We will take it
From here, my friend.
447
00:16:39,469 --> 00:16:42,502
You deserve
Your own day, too.
448
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,436
Mmm.
449
00:16:46,436 --> 00:16:47,677
Commence!
450
00:16:48,738 --> 00:16:51,611
Happy birthday to me.
451
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,143
("I know what I want"
By irya's playground playing)
452
00:16:53,143 --> 00:16:58,248
♪ the tinny speakers
Blare in the morning train ♪
453
00:17:00,490 --> 00:17:02,392
♪ lost in the details ♪
454
00:17:02,392 --> 00:17:05,525
♪ I drove many miles in vain ♪
455
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,431
♪ you don't have to
Spend more time ♪
456
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:14,334
♪ pacing to and fro ♪
457
00:17:15,605 --> 00:17:19,069
♪ don't turn around
Till the fat lady sings ♪
458
00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:20,570
♪ go on and dream now ♪
459
00:17:20,570 --> 00:17:23,273
♪ go on and dream ♪
460
00:17:23,273 --> 00:17:24,714
(keys clicking)
461
00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:26,346
I'm not gonna make it.
462
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,248
Oh, well,
463
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,580
You'll find a better job
With a bigger office
464
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:31,821
And a more mobile boss.
465
00:17:31,821 --> 00:17:34,454
No, you don't understand.
I have to miss the party.
466
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:35,755
Well, clearly you wish
To be there,
467
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,587
Not at your silly
Counting job.
468
00:17:37,587 --> 00:17:38,528
Why don't you just leave?
469
00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:41,491
Because I have
Responsibilities, larry.
470
00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:44,294
Because even though
My hours aren't great
471
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,136
And my office is small,
472
00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:49,199
I like
My silly counting job.
473
00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:50,570
You know, there's a sense
Of accomplishment
474
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,443
At the end of the day
When I turn off my computer,
475
00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:55,645
I crack my neck,
I lean back,
476
00:17:55,645 --> 00:17:58,678
Knowing that I have just
Provided for my family.
477
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,281
Provided what?
Birthday parties and gift bags?
478
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,153
Yeah, and mortgages
And college educations,
479
00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:05,715
And, yes, birthday parties
And gift bags.
480
00:18:05,715 --> 00:18:07,587
You know,
It's a thankless job sometimes,
481
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,459
Being a family man--
I know that.
482
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:13,423
And I don't know how many
Minutes there are in a year.
483
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:16,696
525,600, roughly.
484
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,768
I've seen "Rent."
485
00:18:18,768 --> 00:18:20,870
Yeah, well, a dad gets...
486
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:24,874
Maybe 15 really good ones
A year.
487
00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:27,106
That's one year,
488
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,479
15 perfect minutes.
489
00:18:29,479 --> 00:18:33,583
But they make it
All worthwhile.
490
00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:36,216
And at my house today,
491
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,748
One of those minutes
Are gonna happen.
(zabvronians chanting)
Happy birthday to you.
492
00:18:38,748 --> 00:18:41,691
Happy birthday, dear abby.
493
00:18:41,691 --> 00:18:43,393
Happy birthday to you.
494
00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:45,595
(marty) my little girl is going
To get her special cake.
495
00:18:45,595 --> 00:18:47,757
And for that one moment...
(cheering)
496
00:18:47,757 --> 00:18:49,429
My kid is gonna have
A yard full of people
497
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:52,432
Making a big fuss
Just for her.
498
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,903
And it will all happen
In my house,
499
00:18:53,903 --> 00:18:55,605
The first one
That we've ever had,
500
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:59,169
Filled
With princesses and clowns
501
00:18:59,169 --> 00:19:01,140
And happy kids.
(laughing)
502
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:05,315
♪♪♪
503
00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:06,776
Thank you.
504
00:19:06,776 --> 00:19:09,519
♪♪♪
505
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:10,750
And my wife,
506
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,683
A woman who I still
Don't know how I landed,
507
00:19:13,683 --> 00:19:15,385
She'll have busted her ass...
508
00:19:15,385 --> 00:19:17,927
(mouths words)
To give her daughter
The birthday she never had.
509
00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:21,160
And that'll mean
Everything to her.
510
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,492
That's why I work.
511
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:24,163
And if I can't be there,
512
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,665
Well, you know what?
That's okay.
513
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,868
That's just part of the gig.
514
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,802
♪♪♪
515
00:19:32,802 --> 00:19:34,444
(keyboard clicking)
516
00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:36,546
(taps key)
517
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:37,707
(beep)
518
00:19:37,707 --> 00:19:39,749
(sighs)
519
00:19:39,749 --> 00:19:40,750
(cracks)
520
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,812
(exhales)
521
00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:45,655
A good day's work.
522
00:19:47,757 --> 00:19:50,760
♪♪♪
523
00:20:02,572 --> 00:20:04,203
(larry bird whooping)
(sighs)
524
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,735
Oh, honey, you've got
To shut it down.
525
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:07,237
The rental company
Wants to go.
526
00:20:07,237 --> 00:20:08,838
(whooping continues)
Ten more minutes.
527
00:20:08,838 --> 00:20:11,210
I've never seen so much joy
On someone's face before.
528
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,414
Whoo! Marty!
My face is hurting!
529
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,885
I'm smiling too much!
530
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:17,787
Whoo! Whoo!
531
00:20:17,787 --> 00:20:21,391
Come and join me! I'm flying!
532
00:20:21,391 --> 00:20:23,923
It was a great party.
Yeah.
533
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,725
I got a feeling
Abby's gonna remember
534
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,897
Her retirement birthday
Forever.
535
00:20:27,897 --> 00:20:29,599
We'll miss you, lou!
536
00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:30,730
You're the best, lou!
537
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,602
(cheering)
538
00:20:32,602 --> 00:20:33,903
(cheering fades)
37954
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