All language subtitles for Funny, playful 1941 comedy - _Nothing But the Truth_ - with Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard (480p

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Good morning, chief.
Good morning.

Good morning, sir.

The market's
a little better.

Good morning. Well,
Carbide is up a little.

Yeah.

Good morning,
Mr. Ralston.

Good morning, Mr. Ralston.

Good morning. Good morning, Mr. Ralston.

Good morning, T.T.
Good morning, Tom.

Good morning, Mr. Ralston.
Good morning, Mr. Ralston.

Oh, T.T.

What is everybody smiling
about? What's so funny?

Good morning, sir.
Good morning, Mr. Ralston.

Good morning, Mr. Ralston.
Oh, nonsense.

Hiya, chief.

Good morning.

Dick, I've got
distressing news.

Boy, come back later.

What's that?
Run along, run along.

Hey, he's only done one shoe.

Dick, we've got to get rid of Las
Lomas Quicksilver as soon as possible.

Oh, I've got cauliflower ears
from phoning.

Just get as far as "quick,"
and they hang up.

Listen, I got $150,000
sunk in that blasted mine.

We gotta get it out.
Oh, but T.T.

Look, drop everything else
today. After all, this is my baby.

Well, of all the babies
you've had in this office,

this one's really got
circles under its eyes.

Mr. Van Dusen is here...

Hello.

Oh, hello, Van.
Hiya.

Good morning, T.T.
Good morning.

Conference? No, no, not at
all. Make yourself at home.

Will you have a cigarette?
No, thanks.

Did you see what Carbide did?

Yes, sir. You certainly
called that right.

Van, you have plenty
of nice, solid stuff.

Now, I've got something
really exciting for you.

Something that
you can play with.

Yes?
Yeah.

Will you have a drink?

Oh, it's a little early.

This happens to be
my own little pet.

I got a hold of a mine in
New Mexico quite by accident.

Las Lomas Quicksilver.

I'll take a bottle of pop.

I don't care what you've
heard, it's great stuff.

Hello? Yes. Who?

Oh, put him on.
Put him on.

Hello, Bennett.

Yes.

Ah, that's good news, Steve.

Yes. Come as soon as you can.

Oh, all right,
make it after lunch.

That's fine, boy.
Goodbye.

That was young Bennett,
Steve Bennett.

He's consented. He's coming into
the firm. I asked him last night.

A fine choice.

He just cracked up
in his own business.

Oh, I've had my eye
on Steve for a long time.

He's going to be all right. He's a
little conservative, needs guidance,

but he has good contacts.

You could put all of his
customers into a cookie jar.

But those he has
speak very highly of him.

When we take Bennett in,
we'll take in his customers.

He's just the man
we need right now.

Hi-ho, Quicksilver!

Why not?
He'll sell it.

He won't spend his life
sitting in that chair.

You see, he's not married to my daughter.

You boys go right ahead with
your little family quarrel.

I'll go and see
if I've been wiped out.

Yes, sir, Sam, I'm really
falling into something.

No more worries, no
responsibilities, no ulcers.

People beg for
that Ralston stock.

All I'll have to do is
come in, in the morning,

put my feet up on the desk,
rock back, and go to sleep.

Every once in a while the door
opens, a customer tiptoes in,

takes the stock off the desk,
leaves a check, and tiptoes out.

Yeah, but who's gonna get up
and open the door for them?

I don't know, but they're not
going to make a drudge out of me.

What are you keeping all these
pictures from the old office for?

They awful heavy on my lap.

What's the use of going to college
if you don't keep the pictures?

Who are these fellows with
these big spoons or something?

Spoons?

Those are oars.
That's my rowing team.

Inter-collegiate champs
'29-'30 and '32.

But what happened to '31?

The judges found out where
we hid the outboard motor.

Snoops.

Say, this is
the office for me.

The Taj Mahal
with inkwells.

Taj Ma-who?

How do you do?
I'm Mr. Bennett.

Oh, yes. How do you do,
Mr. Bennett?

We've been expecting you.

Mr. Bennett is here,
Mr. Ralston.

They ain't using pictures.

Hello, Steve.
Hello, T.T.

Am I late? No, no. It's mighty
good to have you with us.

Well, it's mighty good to
be here too, T2... Uh, T.T.

Here, come on, Steve.
I'll show you your office.

Okay.

I wish these pictures
would carry me for a while.

You don't know
how happy I am.

We're going to do
great things together.

Now as soon as you get settled
and comfortable, give me a buzz.

Just got hold of something
you'll be crazy about.

The sweetest
little issue...

Oh, that mellow, easy
stuff to handle? Yeah.

That honey from orchids?

Mr. Ralston?
Yes.

New Mexico is on the phone.

I'll tell you about it
later. Give me a buzz.

All right, T.T.

Great fellow.

My name goes right there,
in chromium.

Well, here we...

Oh, I'm sure
this is only temporary.

That's the feeling I get.

No, I mean the office.

Still, this must be my office. It's
too small for a telephone booth.

Don't do that! It gives me
that buried alive feeling.

Hey, what am I brooding about?
This is only my outer office.

I could really do things
in an office like this.

Stockbrokers are always
backing shows, being angels.

Oh, I beg your pardon...

Stevie, come on in.
Come on in, pal.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr...

Honey... Miss Graham, I
want you to meet Mr. Bennett,

one of my partners.

Partner?

Well, Mr. Donnelly's
been promising

we'd get together
for some time.

Oh, he has? Well, that's
very nice. How do you do?

When Dick Donnelly tells you
you'll meet someone, you meet him.

We've been talking
about The Green Swan.

The green?

Yes, didn't Dickie tell you
about The Green Swan?

Oh, should he?

I mean, do you think
I'm old enough to know?

Her show, Stevie.
Her show.

The one Linda's
going to star in.

You know, I told you
all about it.

He loved it.

Oh, the Swan.

Yes, that part where
you come on with the...

And that fellow ran
with the...

Oh, I thought
I'd die laughing.

It's supposed to be
a serious drama.

Yes. Well, so long.

Oh, tell me, Mr. Bennett.

Did you, uh...

Like it well enough
to put any money into it?

Huh?
Did he like it!

Well enough to want to put 15 grand in it.

Oh!

I must have been
crazy about it.

Oh, Mr. Bennett,
how can I thank you?

You won't regret it.
Really, you won't.

We'll give Broadway something
really fine this season.

Yeah, lucky Broadway.

Oh, well, I better go.
It's a customer.

They get very impatient,
so I...

Might hurt his head.

Well, you take...

Well, goodbye.

But, Mr. Bennett...

Hey, Samuel,
get some bricks and mortar.

We're gonna seal up this door.

In the meantime,
put a rat trap there.

Look what
the porter brought.

Oh, they brought the things,
huh? That's good.

I wanna get that list
of my customers.

Ah, there it is.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Hello, Betty.
Hello, Miss Saunders.

Say, I like your hair
that way.

Thank you,
Miss Saunders.

Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.

Hello.

Oh, Miss Saunders?

I want to thank you for
sending those books to Freddie.

But I'm afraid
they're a little old for him.

Oh, well, he'll
grow into them.

Hilda?

Oh, hello.
Hello.

Tell Uncle Pudgy... Mr. Ralston,
that I have to see him right away.

It's really important.

Certainly, Miss Saunders.

How have you been?
Just fine.

Mr. Ralston, your niece is here to see you.

Uh-oh. Did you
tell her I was in?

Yes, she's right here.

Well, tell her the office
is full of people.

Oh, he's awfully sorry, but
the office is full of people.

Oh, it is, hmm?

Well, try Mr. Donnelly.

Mr. Donnelly, Miss Saunders
is here. Shall I send her in?

No. No, no.

Tell her I just
jumped out the window.

Tell her anything,
anything.

Shh.

Gwen is out there.

I know.

What are you doing?

I forgot to plug up
one leak in the dyke.

Hello, J. P...
J.P. Carter, please.

Hello, J.P.,
this is T.T.

Say, has my niece Gwen
been there to see you?

Oh, she hasn't. Good.

Joe, she's mixed up
in another charity scheme.

Listen, Joe.

In a weak moment,
I promised to double it

if she could raise 20,000 or
more by the first of the month.

A handsome offer, with the
first of the month tomorrow.

Now, when she gets to you,
you just tell her

you can't donate anything
at present.

Yeah, I've told
all the other fellows.

Thanks.

Oh, by the way, Joe.

I've got to show my gratitude in some way.

Ever hear of
Las Lomas Quicksilver?

Hello, Joe? Joe!

Huh.
Bad connection.

I don't think I'll wait
any longer, Hilda.

Well, maybe you'd like
to see the new partner?

Oh, Mr. Bennett?
Is he here already?

Yes, he's in his office.

What's he like?

Well, he's kind of
hard to describe.

I know the type.

Yes, Mr. Hendricks.

No, no regrets
about my own business.

Those nerve-racking days
are over.

Yes, sir. I'll call you the
minute I get something good.

Hello.

I've got something,
goodbye.

I'm Gwen Saunders.

Well, how do you do?
I'm Beve Stennett.

I mean, I'm Sten Beavet.

I mean...
Bennett.

Bennett. Yeah, that's him.
No, that's me.

Won't you sit down?

Could I talk to you alone
for a minute?

Alone? Alone, Sam.

Don't have to hit me
with no ton of coal.

No, I guess it's too late
for that. You'd just fade...

Yes, ma'am. I put the pictures
up, he painted the boat.

Sam!

I hope you don't mind.
Huh?

Shh. We better not
talk too loud.

No, we better not.

Mr. Bennett,
I'm in trouble.

Trouble?

I only know you
by reputation.

My uncle's talked
about you so much.

But I want you to know
that I trust you implicitly.

Well, that's very nice.

I'm sorry to be so abrupt.
After all, we're strangers.

But you're the only one in
the world that can help me.

Well, I'm entirely
at your service.

Well, it's terribly,
terribly important.

But you must promise me that you
won't say a word about it to anyone.

Oh, I won't tell a...

Say, you're not in a play
called The Green Swan, are you?

Pudgy and Dick mustn't know
that I talked to you.

Huh?
Pudgy's my nickname for Uncle.

There isn't anyone in the
world I can ask except Van,

and he wouldn't do it.

Oh, he wouldn't, eh?
That's just like him.

Who is he?
Never mind.

They mustn't dream
we're going to be partners.

Oh, we're going
to be partners?

Yes. Now,
do you see these?

Is that money?

Yes, what did
you think it was?

Why that's a
thousand-dollar bill.

Yes, ten of them.
One, two, three, four...

Oh, don't count.
We're partners.

Yeah, just...

Dear me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm not.

You see, I'm so upset, I don't know what
I'm doing. I've had these for four days.

Pudgy doesn't know that I've
got them. Here, you keep them.

I've had them in two banks,
in my safe deposit box,

under my pillow,
and in my stocking.

Aren't you afraid of prowlers?
What?

I mean, it's dangerous...

So, naturally, I'm
terribly, terribly worried.

Well, how can you worry
when you have $10,000?

Oh, but that's
the whole thing.

I want you to
invest it for me.

Oh, I see, you want
the firm to invest it.

No, no.

I told you the others mustn't
know anything about it.

Oh, no? You see, I have to
make a lot of money quickly

and I think speculation's
the best way, don't you?

All I want is
a quick turnover,

the kind that
Pudgy always gets.

Pudgy's my nickname for Uncle.
I told you that, didn't I?

Pudgy always doubles
everybody's money.

He says I talk too quickly.

Oh, it's not noticeable.

Isn't that nice?

Where's the money?

Oh, here, here,
don't get nervous.

You keep it,
I'm always losing it.

Well, that's an awful lot
of money to carry around.

I seldom do it. I...

I don't like to muss it
or bend it.

Well, which pocket are
you going to keep it in?

Well, I think it would look
well right in there, don't you?

You're a scream.

Uh, but you mustn't
mix it with your money.

No, I won't.

If it gets mixed with my
money, I'll recognize it.

It's the buzzer.

Oh, that. I'll get it.

Oh, Steve,
can you come in now?

That's Pudgy.

Could I come in?
Mmm-hmm.

I'll be right there,
Pudg... T.T.

Say, you better go.
I better go.

Pudgy mustn't
see us together.

Oh, you've been
terribly sweet.

And I'm terribly, terribly grateful to you.

Yes, well...

Oh, wait, Miss Saunders. What
sort of a turnover do you expect?

Oh, you must double it. Oh,
I told you that, didn't I?

That's terribly important.
That's the whole idea.

It's such a good cause.

Yes, it is.

Double it?

Yes, like Pudgy always does.

Oh, yes, but I mean,
how much, how soon?

Oh, you mustn't waste time.

Right away.
We've only got three days.

I'll keep in touch
with you. Goodbye.

Miss Saunders...

Shh. Goodbye.

Hi.

Dream girl.
Van.

Where have you been?

Miss Saunders.

I've been phoning you
all day.

Well, that trip
certainly did you good.

You look wonderful
yourself.

Do I?

Oh, Steve?

Come into my office, will
you? We can talk in there.

Oh, yes.

Oh, Mr. Bennett?

Mr. Bennett?

I need two dollars.
I gotta go get some things.

Oh, I don't have
any money right now.

You know how things are.
I don't know...

Oh, I just got it.

It's not mine.
I was sitting...

I don't have to
explain things to you.

And don't stare.

Oh, come in.

Steve, I want you
to meet Dick Donnelly.

Well, I...
Well, haven't we...

Glad to have you
with us, Bennett.

Yeah, but...

Oh, yes, yes, thanks.

Thanks, pal. You're okay.

Drink?
I think I will.

T. T?
Thank you.

Well, here's to
the three musketeers.

Yes, sir.

I'm sure we'll be together
for a long time.

Steve, you're going to be
here until you're old and gray.

Which may be tomorrow.

Uh, Steve. We're having a few friends
on the Flamingo for the weekend.

That's my houseboat,
you know.

Mrs. Ralston and I would
be delighted to have you.

Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot, T.T.

Oh, not at all,
not at all.

You're one of the family
now, you know. Come here.

When you hear what I've got set
up for you, you'll jump for joy.

There's a little mine
in New Mexico.

You see, I was the only one
to hear about it,

so when I went
down there to...

Say, are you
listening to me?

Oh, yes, Pudgy.

I mean, Mr. Ralston.
I'm all ears.

Well, I'm putting it out
in 70,000 shares.

Preferred stock. It's a shame
to let the public have it.

Certainly is.

But we need
working capital.

Yes, well, what kind
of a mine is it, T. T?

Well, it's Las Lomas
Quicksilver preferred.

Las Lomas Quicksilver?

Uh-huh.

That was the quietest
jumping for joy I ever saw.

Oh, Mr. Ralston.

Maybe I ought to handle
something I'm more familiar with,

like American Can
or something?

Why, Steve...

Hello. Hello, Bart. Come in, come in.

You know Mr. Bennett.

Oh, very well.

Congratulations,
Mr. Bennett.

Oh, thanks,
Mr. Prichard.

Got a good man, T.T.

Oh, I know it.

Mr. Prichard took 5,000
of that Quicksilver.

Uh...

That's what I came
to see you about, T.T.

Pardon me.

I think I was a little hasty.
I'd like to...

Oh, nonsense.
You'll double your money.

Well, I've been talking to some of
the boys, and I'm a little jittery.

Just come with me.

I'll tell you what we'll do.

Here's your check, Bart.

If it will make you
feel any better.

Well, T.T.,
I didn't mean...

Oh, forget it, forget it.
How's Ruthie and the kids?

We must have dinner together
some night soon, huh?

Well, so long, Bart.

But, T.T., I don't get it.
That was awful fast.

Oh, I know
human nature, boys.

Prichard will phone
right back,

and instead of 5,000 shares,
he'll want to buy 20,000.

He'll figure,
if I was that anxious

to give him back his money
and hold on to the stock,

it must be terrific.

Oh, yes, boys. I'm a great
student of human nature.

Well, I wish I were. I'm still in
the chasing and proposing stage.

Gwen?
Gwen?

Yes.

Oh, Van, you haven't met
Steve Bennett, have you?

Tommy Van Dusen.

Yes, I saw them.

I mean, him.
Outside by the water cooler.

I mean, how are you?

We'd better
get down to business.

All right, Steve, let's
get back to Quicksilver.

I tell you, it will double
anybody's investment.

Well, what is the...

Double? It'll double?

Yeah.

Well, I have
a little money that...

Your own money? No, no.
This isn't for you, Steve.

Oh, but you just said...
You just told Mr. Prichard...

Mr. Prichard is a customer.

Yeah, but if it's not good
for me, it's not good for him.

Now, look, we're wasting
a lot of time here.

Do you or don't you
want to sell this stock?

The customers I have
believe in me.

I'm not kidding,
they do.

I can't sell them anything
I don't believe in.

Has Ripley
heard about him?

All right. Maybe Las Lomas
is no good at all.

But there's quicksilver
somewhere in New Mexico,

and somebody
is liable to find it.

I've told many a lie
that I've had come true.

A lie is the same as the truth
if the result is all right.

I'm afraid
I disagree with you.

Take a page from
the old master.

Profits are the only thing
in business.

And in our business
profit is imagination.

An imagination to sell them the truth.

It's what you hope for.

The world doesn't believe
in the truth.

It didn't believe that there was
an America for Columbus to discover.

It didn't believe
that Bell had a telephone

or that man could fly.

Those fellows were all
telling the truth,

and yet everybody
considered them crazy.

I tell you, there are
certain necessary lies.

A man can get along just as well
by telling the absolute truth.

You mean about everything? Yes.

All the time?
Sure.

What are you playing?
Truth and Consequences?

Just teaching our new partner
the facts of life.

We've been trying
to convince Steve

that he couldn't tell
the truth even for a day

and retain any of his
friends or do any business.

Why, if a man set out to tell
the truth for a whole day,

before nightfall
someone would kill him.

Sure. Why, all
the diplomats of Europe

would have to quit,
if it weren't the case.

Is that bad?

Listen, Steve. You meet Smith
on the street in the morning,

and you say,
"I hope you slept well. "

That's a lie. You don't give
a hang if he never sleeps.

Well, I do.
Smith's a nice guy.

Oh, give in, Bennett.
The truth hurts.

An attractive lie
sounds infinitely better.

Well, I'm entitled
to my own opinion.

I still think you can
tell the truth. Who, me?

No, I didn't say you
could tell the truth.

I said, I can
tell the truth.

Ah, but for how long?

Well, if I can tell the truth
for an hour,

I don't see any reason why I couldn't
tell it for one day, or a year.

Yeah, you don't really
believe that, do you?

Well, I certainly do. It's just
a simple matter of principle.

Hey, do I sound stuffy?

You wouldn't like to
back those principles

with a little money,
would you?

Well, yes, I...

Well, I would, but...

Ah, look at him welch.
Look at him welch.

I'll bet you any amount that you
couldn't even tell the truth for 24 hours,

let alone a whole year.

Count me in.
That's a sure thing.

That sounds like
a quick turnover.

Well, I don't know.

You better think fast,
buddy.

Be a plunger.
Bet the whole 50 cents.

Don't heckle him,
he's nervous.

You'll bet me money,
real money,

that I can't tell the truth
for 24 hours?

That's what I said.

Hey, if he did it, I can.
It's a bet.

How much?
Well, I'll bet you...

How much?

$10,000.

How much?

You're bluffing.
Where's the money?

Bluffing?

There.

Hey, it's real.

$10,000.

Easy, fellows.

Hey!

That's tender stuff.

Where did you ever get such an
amount to throw away like this?

Well, it's there, isn't it? And I'm
not throwing it away. I'm gonna win.

You'll tell the truth to everybody,
no matter what they ask you?

Yes. I'll bet you 10,000 on those terms.

I'll bet you
five grand.

I only wanna bet 10,000,
today.

Now, wait, I've got to
have some of this.

Hey, he's not your partner,
he's ours.

Wait a minute, boys.
I hired him, he's all mine.

Why should I give up a
sure thing? Do you blame me?

No... Yes.

I'm a client. You've got to let
me in on all sound investments.

Me, too.

All right, I'll tell
you what we'll do.

We'll split it
three ways.

If you win.

If you tell a lie while you're
away from us, you must confess.

What do you mean, away from
us? I'm gonna sleep with him.

That's not part
of the agreement.

Van, I'll take your share out of our
cash and charge it to your account.

Right.

Well, what's holding us up,
fellows? The sooner we get started,

the sooner I get the money.

And we better
put this in writing.

I am.

You agree to tell the
unadulterated truth for 24 hours.

To all comers, animal,
vegetable, or mineral.

You'll answer all questions.
If you refuse, you lose the bet.

That's it, brother.

You can't run away
and hide

or shut yourself up where
you won't see anyone.

Oh, we'll be with him
till he loses.

And you mustn't
change your routine.

You must go on in the
even tenor of your way.

Yeah. Yes.

And spell "tenor"
with a capital "T."

And if anyone tells of
the bet, or even hints of it,

that side loses the bet.

One lose, all lose on your side.

What's the idea of that?

Well, if you told people about it,
they'd ask me a lot of questions, like...

Well, which they
ordinarily wouldn't.

Oh, put it in.
Put it in.

Let him put his picture in
if he wants to.

And remember, under no circumstances
can this bet be called off.

Well, let me count it.

Wait a minute, there's only 9,000 here.

Nine thousand?
Well, I had...

No, no, no. It's all right.
There's ten.

Can't you count, T. T?

Five, six, seven...

Hey, there's 11,000 here.

One, two, three, four...

Five!

Oh, yeah.
Five and five are ten.

That's that new thing
they have.

Put it all together.

Have you got
an envelope?

Miss Turner.
Where's Miss Turner?

Oh, there must be
one here...

Yes, here's one.

Fine, thank you.

Would you hold it
open, please?

Seal it up.

Here.

No, I'll do it.

Wait a minute,
where are you going?

Come back here. Where
you going with that money?

Ah!

That did it.

Here. Thanks.

Did you buzz,
Mr. Ralston?

Yes, Miss Turner.

I want you to place this
envelope in the safe.

You're a witness to this.

Yes, Miss Turner,
no one's to touch it.

Not until all five of us
are present.

Yes, sir.
A fine partnership.

How many people
know the combination?

Now we all understand
the conditions?

The absolute truth
for 24 hours.

Okay.

It's just 3:57.

It's 3:55.

Well, it's 3:58.

You're all wrong.
It's 4:05.

Well, we'll find out.

Three, eight, one.

Well, hello, Operator.
Are you there?

It's automatic.

When you hear the tone,

the time will be 3:59
and three quarters.

Set your watches, boys.

It's exactly 4:00.

The bet is on. Go!

The bet started at
exactly 4:00 p. m. today

and ends at
4:00 p. m. tomorrow.

Right?
Right.

Oh, now, let's not
gang up, fellows.

When you tell your lie, pal,
make it a good one

because it's going to
cost you ten grand.

Now, what will
we ask him?

Do you think
you're good-looking?

Yes.

In a manly sort of way.

You lose.
In ten seconds.

No, I don't lose. That's
not a lie, it's an opinion.

Now if I said you were
good-looking, that'd be a lie.

No, he has a right
to an opinion.

Now it's my turn.

When we talked
of the partnership,

you told me that last
year, you made $40,000.

Is that the truth?

No.
Uh-huh.

Well, how much
did you make?

Well, I think that's more of
a personal question, don't you?

Yeah.

How much did you make?

$1,100.

Gross.

Uh-huh.

All right.
Now I got a beaut.

Where did you
get that $10,000?

Yeah.

I asked you
where you got it.

Well, I don't think
I have to answer that.

I think we should change
the agreement slightly.

If you refuse to answer,
you lose the bet.

Yeah.

Well, I...

Hello?

Who, Mr. Prichard?

No, this is Steve Bennett.

Quicksilver?
I'll take it.

He wants to buy
20,000 shares.

20,000! What did
I tell you, boys?

Do I know human nature?

Well, what do I think of it?

Why, it's no good. It stinks.

Are you crazy?

Why you...

If I laid my hands on you...

Hello. McCready?
Quicksilver stinks.

A bet is one thing,

but I'll get even with you
for this, Bennett.

You double crossing...
Why did you say that?

I swore to tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help me...

Stinks.

But, Hilda, are you sure?

Well...

Then give Mr. Bennett
this message.

It's terribly,
terribly important.

Tell him that something's
come up and that the...

The things that I gave him
to do something with,

he's not to do that
with them at all.

And that he's to
hold the things

as I have to have them
back right away.

Now, that's clear, isn't it?

But I don't think
he's coming back today.

They've all left
for the weekend.

Well, it's terribly important.

I heard them say something about
stopping off at Mr. Bennett's hotel first,

the Miami Palms.

Miami Palms? Oh, wait till
I get a pencil and paper.

Oh, what do I need a pencil and
paper for? I can remember that.

Miami Palms Hotel.

Thank you, Hilda.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Miami Palms Hotel. Miami Palms,
Miami Palms, Miami Palms...

But, fellows, I'll see you
some other weekend.

I get seasick on a boat.

But you accepted my invitation
before the bet was made.

Yeah, and remember
the even tenor clause.

Did you ever
steal anything?

Yes.

What did you steal?

I stole some money.

Where did you steal it?

From a bank.

How much money was it?

Half a dollar.

You stole a half a dollar
from a bank?

Yes.

What bank was it?

My little brother's
piggy bank.

So, you stole
half a dollar

from your little brother's
piggy bank?

Is that all?

That's all there was
in it.

Good afternoon,
Mr. Bennett.

How are you?

Hey.

You live here?

Yes.
What's the matter?

Oh, nothing.
I just thought

that Steve lived
in another hotel.

What's the matter
with this hotel?

Hey.
Huh?

That Green Swan dame
lives here.

I'd hate to run into her now
with the old man along.

Well, I may be crazy, but in a
hotel this size, you'll never...

I beg your pardon.

I'm crazy.

Well, hello,
this is a pleasant surprise.

How do you do?

And Mr. Bennett.

Were you coming
to see me?

Oh, I live here.

You do? Well,
isn't that convenient?

Yes, I was just going up. We were...

Oh, come on! Bruno and
I were going for a walk,

but we'll ride
up with you.

Oh, well, won't Bruno
be disappointed?

Nonsense. Bruno's always
having his own way.

Yeah, who's
gonna stop him?

Oh, Miss... I'm very bad at names.

Miss... Miss...

Graham.
Oh, yes. Graham.

My father-in-law,
Mr. Ralston.

Oh! How do you do?

How do you do?
Mr. Van Dusen.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Miss Graham is a friend of Steve's.

We met in
the office.

Oh.

Oh, yes! Yes. We met in the office, yes.

Oh, why don't we have a quiet,
little dinner this evening,

and let me read
you the play?

Play? Putting money
in a show, Steve?

Oh...

Are you putting money in a show, Steve?

Oh, I expect to come into
a lot of money tomorrow.

Oh, you do, eh?

Uh, yeah, around 4:00 to be exact.

Oh, that's fine. That'll be plenty of time.

Then I'll tell Charlie
everything's all set, shall I?

Charlie?
Yes, Charlie Pendergast.

He's the author.

I mean, it is all set, isn't it?

Charlie Pendergast?

Oh, well,
good old Charlie!

Oh,
you know him?

No.

Oh,
you droll man!

Ninth floor.
That's me.

Oh, Mr. Bennett?

I'm in 512. Then,
you'll phone me?

512? That's an easy
number to remember.

Goodbye, Mr. Ralston.

Goodbye. Bye-bye, Dickie.
Um... Mr. Donnelly.

These
theatrical people.

They certainly
get familiar.

I might as well get
packed, fellows. Come on in.

Hello.
I'm just finishing.

Say, how much do you
pay for this apartment?

$125 a month.

Are you behind
on your rent?

Yes. Three months.

Uh, do you
mind if I...

I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett.
I'll get right out.

No, no. Go right ahead with your work.

Steve, did you ever
tip this young lady?

Did you ever try to get cute with her?

Oh!
Oh, now, fellows!

Fellows, let's
be gentlemen.

Did you?

Well, if you wanna
count that once.

Well, of all things!

Fellows, you can't do...
Hello, Sam.

You know, a bet's a bet, but you can't
go around embarrassing me like this.

We can for the
next 22 hours.

This is only
the beginning.

Excuse me.

Oh, Mr. Bennett, I have
to see you right away.

Oh, come right in.

Oh, no,
I'll come right out.

Hey, fellows.

There's a girl,
a young lady.

It'll only be a minute.
Something personal.

You have to
excuse me.

Oh, dear!

Oh, Mr. Bennett...
Shh!

I'm sorry about before.

Oh, Mr. Bennett, the most
awful thing has happened.

You know I'm not
good at dates.

And here I thought it was the
28th, and it really is the 28th.

Only there isn't any more. It's February.

So, you'll have to give me back the money.

You want me to give
you back the money? Yes.

That's what I
thought you said.

Have you invested it already?

Yes.

What did you
invest it in?

Well, look, if you'll
just wait till tomorrow,

if you'll just
trust me...

Oh, I trust you,
all right.

It is the 10,000
I'm worried about.

Yeah, me, too.

Because there's one terrible
part about it. It isn't my money.

Yeah, well, I knew it was something like...

Not your money?
Well, whose is it?

Everybody's.
Everybody's?

Well, maybe they worry. Yes.

Oh, that's Mr. Bishop.

Huh?

Oh! Let me in.
Open the door.

All right.

Where can I hide?
What's the matter?

Oh, that man. Here.

I've never played
this before.

Say, tell him
I'm not here.

All right, I will.

Sorry, no magazines.

Is there a
Miss Saunders here?

Saunders?

Yes, I must speak
to her, please.

Saunders... Is that Saunders
with an "AU" or just a plain "A"?

With an "AU."

Oh, well, I...

She's most
anxious to see me.

Well, why would she...
Where is she?

Where is she?
Yes. Where is she?

Well, I think she...

She's right there
behind the screen.

He asked me
where you were.

Oh, I was just back there. My stocking.

You know, those runs you
get in the thing there?

Oh, I'd like to talk to you, Mr. Bishop,

but we're on our way out. We're in a hurry.

On your way out? I'd better
slip into a necktie or something.

That was Mr. Bennett,
my uncle's new partner.

Your maid told me I might find you here.

Oh, she did?

What are you so
worried about?

I signed the
note, didn't I?

And on the strength of it,
we broke ground for the home.

Now, even the steam shovels have stopped.

Well, they can't
blame that on me.

I merely guaranteed
the $40,000.

Miss Saunders,
you've collected $10,000,

but to date we haven't seen a penny of it.

And I must remind you
this is charity money.

Oh! Charity money. Charity money.

Whose he got
in there?

I don't know.
I couldn't see her.

Oh, but it's all
so silly, Mr. Bishop.

I have it. Or rather,
I will have it.

Why, yes, I'll
have it tomorrow.

For your own sake, Miss
Saunders, as well as for ours,

I can only hope
you're right.

Shh!
Dick, come on.

Hey, I'm looking
for skeletons.

We'll give him
two more minutes.

Nothing doing. He can't
have a romance on my time.

Where you
gonna dress at?

Every room's
full of somebody.

Oh, make a lot of noise. Mr. Ralston
mustn't know his niece is in there.

He'd ask a lot
of questions.

Come on, help me.
Make noise.

What goes on?

What's that?

What's going
on, Bennett?

Yes, yes, tomorrow.
You know me, Mr. Bishop.

Very good, Miss Saunders.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Yes.

We've been waiting in
that bedroom for days!

Oh, come on, you can gargle on the boat.

Let's get going, Steve. We don't
wanna spend the weekend here.

Wait a minute.
You'll have to go back.

Don't go in.
Don't...

Oh, come in.

Have a drink?
Uh, have a cigar.

I know it looks funny, fellows,
but there was a girl here.

It might have been
embarrassing to her, you know.

Well... I did...

Oh, Sam! Sam, yeah.

What's the matter
with him?

You hired him.

Thanks, Sam.

Well, I'm all set.
Get my bag, Sam.

Uh, why don't we get going?
Let's get out of here.

We'll be out of here
in a few minutes!

Say, what are you shouting for?

Well, I want everybody to hear me!

Look what I found.

Eh! Have you ever
seen this before?

Yes.

Who does it
belong to?

Oh, now, fellows, there are some things...

There are no things. Whose is it?

It's mine.

Yours?

Well!

Whoo!

Hey, no whoo-whoos!

And when do you wear it? Saturday night?

I haven't worn
it for years.

Quit kidding.
Whose is it?

Oh, you're so smart. It is mine.
I wore it in the Varsity Show.

Here.

It was Up in Mabel's Room. I was Mabel.

And no cracks!

Where are you?

There. Who's that next to you?

That's the villain.

Did the villain
catch you, Mabel?

Yes, unfortunately.

What happened then?

He kissed me.

Anyone else in the show kiss you?

Oh, do I...
Uh-huh.

Yeah. And just the dramatic coach.

At rehearsal!
Oh.

When did you start
going with girls?

Well, I think...

Oh, go ahead, have your fun,
fellows. You're paying for it.

Gwen!

Hello.

Oh, here. Let me
help you up.

Hello, Uncle Pudgy.

I... You see...

Oh, yeah, yeah.
We were...

You know I...
Yes, yes?

Say, what is
this, anyway?

What is she
doing here?

Well, it was charity.
No, it wasn't that.

No, it was charity.
I mean, she came up

and we had a little talk
about some charity money.

No! Uh-oh.

Charity money?
Oh, so that's it.

She was trying to get
some money out of you, eh?

Well, I...
Is that true?

Yes! Yes, that's exactly why she came up.

Yes!

Then why were
you hiding?

Oh... Well, I didn't think you'd
like my asking Mr. Bennett for money.

I don't think you could
get 10 cents out of Steve.

He's not likely to be in a generous mood.

You see, Gwen, a couple of hours ago,

he made a very
bad investment!

He certainly did.

Come on, let's get started on
our profitable little weekend.

Yes.

Oh!

Mrs. Ralston,

this is a wonderful idea.

Splendid boat like this, very relaxing.

We've been asking young Van to
bring you two over for months now.

Yes, that's
right, Mother.

Mr. Van Dusen's
always so busy.

We're regular
stay-at-homes.

You know, my rumba
is just falling apart.

Uh, have a good day
today, T. T?

Exceptionally good. We got
hold of something very easy.

Oh, we stand to make a
neat little profit, Dad,

and I've got
a third of it.

Oh! Was Mr. Bennett
in on it, too?

Well, not on
the profit side.

And will you establish your
office here permanently, Doctor?

Dear lady,
there are as many

diseased minds here
as in Bucharest.

And much more money.

Oh, Mrs. Van Dusen, what
a perfectly sweet gown!

Oh! Oh, thank you, dear.

Mr. Van Dusen thinks it's
a little too young for me,

but I always say, "He can
grow old, I'm not going to. "

That's the spirit!

Mr. Bennett, the cat got your tongue?

You haven't
said very much.

And I've put you between two of
Miami's most attractive women.

Don't you agree?

Yes.
You're right.

I haven't
said very much.

Oh, come, my boy.

This strange reticence is hardly
the even tenor of your way.

Oh! I'm afraid you embarrass Mr. Bennett.

Mrs. Ralston's compliment
certainly applies to Harriet, but...

Oh, nonsense,
Mrs. Van Dusen!

You'd never think she was
Van's mother, would you?

Yes, their eyes are
very much the same.

Both of them.

No, no. I mean, she doesn't look
a day over, uh, 30, does she?

Whoa!

Well, you know what
they say in Spanish.

No. What do they say?

Oh! Flatterer!

Your work must be very
interesting, Dr. Zarak.

I mean, you must run
across some strange cases.

I heard of a
sad case recently,

where a man wore
a woman's nightgown.

Oh, yes. That was very
sad. I heard about him.

It was a black, lacy, flimsy
sort of thing, wasn't it?

Oh, poor fellow.

He's probably
a Rumplemeyer.

Rumplemeyer?

Oh, pardon me.

This is our term
of classification.

You see, Rumplemeyer was
a famous case in Prague.

Unusual fixation.

He imagined he was
his own grandmother.

That must have been
rather confusing.

Yeah, especially
for his grandfather.

Well, this fellow
called himself Mabel.

Oh, yes! Ask Mr. Bennett.
He knows all about him.

How interesting.
Who is this Mabel?

Go ahead, Steve, you know.
Tell him who Mabel is.

I am.

You're Mabel?
Mmm.

Oh, Mr. Bennett,
I'm so sorry.

Oh, there's nothing to be
sorry about. It's ridiculous!

I don't think
I'm my grandmother.

Well, whose grandmother
do you think you are?

Well, that's on my...

It's a costume! I wore
it in a college show.

I'm not Mabel.
I only played Mabel.

That isn't terribly
funny, Pudgy.

It's all
in fun, Gwen.

Yes, isn't it?

It's awfully nice when
partners can be so congenial.

I'm sure Mr. Bennett enjoyed
his first day with you and Dick.

Didn't you, Mr. Bennett?

No.
No?

No, it was awful.
It was terrible!

Well...

T.T., you're lucky.

It's rather startling to find
a really honest man these days.

I have some pet theories on that subject.

I had occasion only last week
to write an editorial on truth.

Van's father
is the publisher

of the Miami Journal,
you know.

Yes. Do you like
the Journal?

Miami Journal?
What a newspaper!

Mmm. Thank you very much.

Did you happen to
read my editorial?

Yes. May I have
the salt?

Salt? Uh, didn't
you like it?

Oh, I love it! I put
salt on almost everything.

In fact I even put...

I put salt on salt.
I hate pepper.

Steve, Mr. Van Dusen was asking if
you liked his editorial on truth.

Well, I liked the
beginning of it.

That's pretty.

Didn't you like
the rest of it?

I didn't read
the rest of it.

You mean you put the paper down
without finishing my editorial?

No, I didn't
say that. I...

Well, why didn't
you finish it?

I...

I fell asleep.

Oh, Steve, what was
that charming compliment

you paid Mrs. Van Dusen
a little while ago?

What cake!

Is this just made out of
eggs and things like that?

You know, I had
an aunt once

who made the most wonderful sponge cake.

And I always used
to say to her...

Come on, Steve,
what did you say?

Oh, I said, "Auntie, how do you ever get it

"to puff up so light and fluffy?"

Not to your aunt. Tell us
what you said to my mother.

Not in Spanish.
In English.

Well, I'm afraid I said
that she couldn't pass for 30

even with a paper bag
over her head.

Well... Oh!

Bennett, I think you're
carrying things too far.

Mr. Bennett, really, you act
like one of the Dead End Kids.

And it's easy to see which end is dead.

Mrs. Van Dusen,
I'm not myself today.

Well, whoever you are,
I'm not an old paper bag!

Sit down, Van. What's the
matter with you, Steve?

Oh, Mrs. Van Dusen,
I'm saying things today

that I ordinarily
wouldn't say.

We should weigh our words
very carefully before we speak.

I do.
What?

Mr. Bennett,
I can be frank, too.

I'm beginning to regret that you came here.

Well, so am I.
I didn't wanna come.

What? Well,
why did you?

Mrs. Ralston, I think you
should ask me to leave.

Oh, at once. My conduct
has been disgraceful.

I'll understand.
I'll leave at once.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
You're forgiven.

No, no, no, no.
You're forgiven.

We've already
forgotten about it.

Well, I haven't.

You could all understand. Steve
has been under a great strain.

Yeah. His business
failing and all the rest.

Why, sure. Sure. Steven, what
you said to Mother was nothing.

Nothing at all.
Forget it.

But, Van, your own
mother! An old paper bag!

I think it's outrageous! Bennett...

I can't find words.

That, sir, is the trouble
with your editorial.

Steve.
Steve, you don't...

Mr. Bennett, you hardly know us,

and yet you've taken a great delight
in hurting everybody's feelings.

Oh... Well, why don't
you make a good job of it?

Go on, go on.
Don't leave me out.

I'm here. What would you like to do to me?

I'd like to kiss you
till your ears fly off.

Oh!
Easy, pal.

Well, I say one thing for
Mr. Bennett. He's different.

So was Jack the Ripper!

No, Van. Van.

Excuse me.

This young man, he's what
we call a dementia cortical,

with an overactive
thalamic predicosis.

What is that, Doctor?

He's a jerk.

Miss Saunders?

Miss Saunders?

Go away, please.

I'd like to
say something.

You've said enough!

Oh, I'm sorry I said all
those things upstairs.

All except the last.

I meant that
about you.

I mean, you're
so pretty, uh...

You're prettier than
anything I've ever seen.

I think...

To be continued.

Did you really
mean that?

Oh, I thought
it was...

Believe me, I'm gonna
tell him a thing or two.

Honey, you leave
the telling to me.

Oh, Van, you mustn't
hit him or anything.

You know, I think there's
something wrong with him.

The way he goes around saying those
things that he can't possibly mean.

He means them all right.

But I'm not interested
in him at the moment.

Darling, the family is planning
a Caribbean cruise and...

Well, they thought it would be
nice if you and I came with them.

Van, you're proposing.

Yeah, for the
third time.

That is, if I can keep
track of the times.

I'm sorry it isn't
more romantic but...

Well, I guess I've said
all these things before.

Oh, but, darling,
those islands.

Once I get you under
that Caribbean moon,

well, I won't
need words.

You know the kind
of a fellow I am.

What do you say,
darling? Hmm?

Darling?

What was that?

Have you seen the lady I was walking with?

You were walking
alone, Mr. Van Dusen.

Oh, no! No, no.
She was right here.

Right by my side.

Hello.

Mr. Bennett, I want
to talk to you.

You're the only one
around here who does.

I want you to know that I'm terribly upset.

I mean, about the way
you've been acting.

Just give me one reason
why you insulted everybody.

Well, I had to.

If I hadn't made
all that trouble,

there'd have been
a lot more trouble.

You mean, if you hadn't insulted everybody

that things would
have been worse?

Much worse.

It'd have been bad.

Gwen!

Gwen!

Where's Gwen?
Oh, I don't know.

Where's Bennett?

Bennett?
I'll find him.

He'll find him.

Isn't it a wonderful,
wonderful night, Mr. Bennett?

I'm not mad at you
anymore, you know.

It's a wonderful,
wonderful night.

If we could only stay like
this until 4:00 tomorrow.

Mr. Bennett, do you mind if I ask
you something very, very personal?

Would you
really like to?

Well, it's so difficult.
It certainly isn't easy.

I mean, to talk about such
things as love and emotions

to a man you
hardly know.

Oh, you can tell me.

Well, do you think I should
marry Tommy Van Dusen?

Everybody else
thinks I should.

But I'm mixed up,
and you're so honest.

I think it takes a man
to know about another man.

Well, I don't like to be
catty, but you asked me,

and I picture somebody
entirely different for you.

I mean, someone
more clean-cut.

I mean, more dynamic, more
of the American-boy type.

I don't see Van at all.

You don't?
No.

Hey, look.

I can see our faces
in the water.

Oh, it's like those funny
mirrors at the amusement parks.

It's so distorted,
I'm good-looking.

Yes!

You look as if
you have two heads.

Well, two heads
are better than one.

Oh, you have
got two heads.

But one
of them isn't yours.

I don't know whether I'm doing
right, bringing you out here.

Samuel, you'd do lots of
things you're not supposed to do

for five dollars,
wouldn't you?

Yes, anybody would.

And you'll find
Steve Bennett

a much more interesting case
than you imagine, Doctor.

I'd question him
at every opportunity.

Hmm.

Ahoy, Flamingo!

It's sometimes the people that
look the sanest who really are...

Yes, Doctor.
I mean, goodbye, Doctor.

So long, Doctor.

I think I'll do a big
business in this place.

Oh, the door was stuck.

I had to push
it like that.

Hello. Oh, brandy.
And candy.

Isn't that dandy?

Uh, Mr. Donnelly
or Mr. Bennett.

Yes, ma'am.

All right, spin it!

Say, what's
going on here?

Oh...
Are you surprised?

I was in a hurry and the
door... I was coming in...

That's all right.

Dick made the
same entrance.

One club. Pass.

You two men act as if you were
trying to hide from someone.

Hide?

You're not allowed to hide. It
was clearly understood that...

What do you mean,
he's not allowed?

Thomas, you're all acting
very strangely tonight.

Strangely? Well, I hadn't
noticed it, my dear.

Please, there is a Miss
Graham to see Mr. Bennett.

Oh! Or Mr. Donnelly.

Oh! All these people.

I hope I'm
not intruding.

Hello, Mr. Ralston.

All right, Frederick.

Hello,
Mr. Bennett.

Oh, hello!

And how do you
do, Mr. Donnelly?

How do you do?

Well, Miss Graham, this
is Mrs. Donnelly, my wife.

Oh, how do you do?
Dr. Zarak.

Charmed.

Mr. and Mrs. Van Dusen.

How do you do?

Mr. Ralston you know,
and Mrs. Ralston.

Let me get you a chair. Oh, thank you.

Oh, really, Mrs. Ralston,
I'm not in the habit

of barging into
people's houseboats.

Am I, Mr. Bennett?

Oh, it's not
habitual, I guess.

But after all, if there's
someone you have to see

who's on a houseboat...

Oh, uh... Please do
go on with your game.

Mr. Bennett?
Oh, Mr. Bennett?

Yes?

Could I see you
just a minute alone?

I've got to
talk to you.

Yes, but why don't I phone you tomorrow?

Say, a little
after 4:00?

Oh, but you promised to
phone me this evening.

I waited and waited. Charlie's
going back to New York tomorrow.

Oh, he is? Well,
what do you know!

And it's really up to you
whether I go back with him or not.

Oh, you've gotta go back!

I mean, he'll be lonesome in a big
city like New York, and everything.

Well, let's get
out of here.

Oh, we'll go this way.
Go on with your Charlie.

I mean, your cards.
Play, play.

Oh, hello!
Did you hear?

Charlie is going
to New York.

What
an extraordinary person!

Who is she?

Look, why don't you
ask Steve about her?

He loves to
answer questions.

Who is that with
Steve Bennett?

Who invited
her aboard?

That hasn't quite
been settled yet.

So, you see? It's all
a mistake. I'm no angel.

I can't put money into a
play, not even a good one.

Oh, but The Green Swan isn't just
a good play. It's a great play!

Just let me tell you one scene,
Mr. Bennett. It's a beautiful scene!

Now, you're my
husband, Humphrey.

Humphrey?
We've just separated,

but I'm still
mad about you.

Well, what
are you mad about?

Oh! Oh, that's just in the play.

Oh.

Now then...

Where do you suppose
he took her?

Darling, darling,
what have I done?

Why have you shut me out
of your life like this?

If I must, I'll beg,

but at least toss me a few
crumbs of your affection.

Well, I...
Oh, no, no!

Dearest husband of mine.

Husband?

Take me back.

Let me warm my soul at the
hearth of your forgiveness.

But look, it's no use. I'm no angel.

Just let me ask
you one thing.

Well, honestly, Harriet, I might
as well be married to the FBI.

Harriet.

You know the woman who
came to see Mr. Bennett?

It's his wife!

His wife?
Yes!

His wife!

Huh? Who is
whose wife?

The Bennetts. They've
separated. Isn't it a shame?

Dick, did you
know that?

Well, I sort of
suspected it.

Well, I'm not
going to stand by

and see two such nice
people wreck their lives.

Do you know what
I'm going to do?

No. What?

I'm going to ask her
to spend the night.

Oh, you can't
do that.

What's it to you?

Well, maybe Bennett doesn't want her here.

I'm sure he doesn't.

I wanna go to bed.

You do?

Yes, I'm tired. Good
night, all. Come on, angel.

Come, dear, we'll ask
Mrs. Bennett right now.

We can put her
in that cabin.

So, she's his wife.

No wonder Bennett's
putting money in her show.

Her show? Oh.

Oh!

Oh, Mr. Bennett?

Mr. Bennett,
now listen carefully.

I want you to come
to my cabin right away.

But don't let anyone
see you. Not even anyone.

Well, all right,
I'll be there.

When I say I'll be there, I'll be there.

Telephone's
a wonderful thing.

It ain't that wonderful.

Oh, now let me dream.
Have you got my robe, Sam?

Yes.
Right here, sir.

Let me have it.
I'm on my way.

Now, why didn't I pack you
some extra pajamas for me?

What about those striped
ones I gave you last week?

Was those pajamas? I
thought they were underwear.

Oh, Sam, why
don't you retire?

Just pretend that suit you're
wearing is a sleeping bag.

In fact, you don't have
to pretend. You're home.

I'm unprepared for
a weekend like this.

All I brung
was my suntan oil.

Suntan oil?
You're gilding the lily.

What do you want
with suntan oil?

I freckle.

That did it.
Look out.

Oh, please
don't bother.

Nonsense, dear, these would do for you.

Well, you're
both very sweet,

but I really had no intention
of spending the night here.

Just trust us. We know about these things.

There you are.

Oh, thank you so much.

Incidentally, Mr. Bennett's
cabin is right next door.

Oh, yes. The lock on that
door has never worked.

I must tell
someone about it.

Good night, dear.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.
She's sweet!

Come into my
cabin a minute.

My headaches.
Oh.

Where do you think
you're going?

Trying to give us
the slip, eh?

Oh, no, I wouldn't
do a thing like that.

Why would I do...

Our little friend
is trying to run away.

Uh-huh.
Not me.

Good night, boy. Frederick
will fix you a place to sleep.

Yes.

You gentlemen going to sleep four in a bed?

What? Good night, Mr. Bennett. Good night.

Don't forget to
take your medicine.

What's the medicine for? To build me up.

Well, you'd better take plenty.
We're gonna tear you down.

If I catch you within two
feet of Miss Saunders...

Yeah, how would you like
a good punch in the nose?

How would you like a
good punch in the nose?

Yeah?
Yeah.

What a fight. I don't know what you...

Hey, come on,
get that robe off you.

No! I don't
wanna take...

Now, we're gonna make sure
that you can't leave the boat.

Yeah? Well...

Hey, what's the idea
of pushing me around?

Wait a minute!
Don't. Give me that...

Quiet a minute. Come here.
If you'll only keep quiet.

This ain't fair.
It's all right.

Now, don't be
that way. Let go!

That's unfair.
Let go!

Hey, I've got
his clothes.

This
is unconstitutional.

Don't do that!

Beat it, boys.

Oh, you bunch of burglars, you'll get paid.

You gotta get paid
later in life.

Oh, I tell you, I...

Shut up, shut up.

Now at least we'll know where to find you.

Don't say a word.
Nighty-night.

Good night.

Don't lock...

I got it.

Good evening!
Good evening.

Say, would you...

Henchman.

Oh, well.

Who's that?

Don't bother
about details.

Mr. Bennett!

I was just
passing through.

Excuse me. They locked me
and took all my clothes.

Three of them...

But, Mr. Bennett, you're
wearing that negligee!

Much worse
if I weren't. Stand by.

Now, you sure you've got
it... Oh, Mr. Bennett.

Yes, I was just
going to... Locked...

I'm going in here.

Oh, we understand.

Yes, I know...

I'm so happy for them!

Mr. Bennett?

This isn't
the Lincoln Highway!

I wish it were. You just go ahead
with whatever you were doing.

Yes? Yes, I'm on my way.
Yeah.

You should have
a motorcycle!

It would
slow me down.

Oh, sorry, miss!
Shh!

Is everything all right?

Yes... Yes!

Rumplemeyer!

What in the world?
Shh!

Oh, I've had an awful...

Oh, hello. Close the door.

But Auntie's
dressing gown...

Yes, do you like... I
borrowed it. I lost my pajamas.

Well, where are they?

Van took 'em.

Van has his own.

I know. But he took 'em anyway.
Doesn't want me running around loose.

Why don't you
sit over here?

I'll fix you a nice,
warm cup of chocolate.

Yes, I'm dressed for
a thing like this.

I can't stay very long.
I have to get back.

Oh, listen, I don't want you to
worry about business or anything.

Oh, I'm not worried.
But they're after me.

They're looking
all over the boat.

Oh, well, nobody's
going to harm you, dear.

Dear?

While you're taking a sip
of this nice, warm cocoa,

I want you to think real
hard and try and remember...

Uh-huh.

Did you put my money
into a Broadway show

or give it to your wife
or something like that?

Oh! You thought I took
your money and put it...

My wife?

Miss Graham.

Isn't she your wife
or anything?

Oh, no! Not even
or anything.

Why, I wouldn't put your
money in anything foolish.

Well, not anything
that foolish.

Well, that certainly
takes a load off my mind.

Yeah, well,
it should.

I should wear a slip,
I usually do.

From now on, whenever
I think of you,

I'll remember you
like this.

Yes, but remember,
there's another side to me.

Oh, I bet!
Yeah. And I'm glad.

Hey, Steve,
we want to ask you...

What's the matter?

He's gone!
Gone?

But he didn't have any
clothes. Where could he go?

Well, where can he go
on a boat?

Where's that sailor?

Uh-oh! Come on, quick.
Come on.

How do you suppose
he got out the window?

Van, why is everyone
prowling around?

Your father can't get any
rest. Well, you see, Mother...

You didn't happen to see
Mr. Bennett prowling around?

Oh, yes! But
I wouldn't disturb him.

He is with
the woman he loves.

Good night!

Oh! Come on!

Well, whatever your
investment is,

when it comes in, Uncle has
to double the whole thing.

He has to double it?
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, I can see his face when
he finds out I did it for you.

I can see my face
looking for another job.

Gwen!

Gwen!

No, no, no, no!

Gwen!
Are you all right? Gwen!

Come on,
let's go in.

We thought we heard
someone in here.

That's silly, Pudgy.
How could you hear anyone?

Unless it was me
on the phone, or was I...

Which is it?
I never can remember.

We heard a man's voice.

Van, are you implying...

No, I was just asking.

We're not trying
to imply anything.

We were looking for someone.
We thought we heard him in here.

Yeah! A boy's laughter, that could
only belong to a certain party.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are!

Well, if you don't
believe me...

Is he in there?

There's just no use in
discussing it any further.

Not any further at all.

Now, darling,
we heard a man talking.

Did you? Oh!
That was the radio.

I was listening... You know
I always listen to the radio...

I couldn't sleep.

Well, there was an awful lot of laughing.

Yes, there was.

Oh, that was Happy Jack, the Fireman.

Oh, his program's
a scream. Wait!

I'll see if
it's still on.

"Happy Jack, Happy Jack,
the Fireman. Happy Jack. "

It's sort of dead,
isn't it?

Maybe he went to a fire.

Uh-oh!
What?

Hey, what's this?
What? What is it?

Well, it isn't
plugged in!

Well, I must have pulled it
out when I answered the door.

Oh, that's right.
Yes.

Hey, wait a minute!
Huh?

You didn't answer the
door! We came right in!

Oh, then you must have pulled it out!

Say, what goes on here?

Two cups!

Well, you know I always
have a second cup.

Don't I, Pudgy?

Ah, Gwen.

All right, all right!

There is a man in the room
and he's under the bed!

Now, what do you
think of that?

Well, there's no one there!

Well, I told you...
There's nobody there?

No!

Must have gone
out there, on deck.

Say, you men seen
anybody around here?

No, sir.
No one out here.

We thought we'd get some
bait for the morning.

You might want
to go fishing.

Good idea.

Bill, give us a hand, will you?
We want to get a little bait.

Okay.
Hook her up.

Okay, take it away, Andy.

Well, I guess
we were wrong.

I'm sorry.
Good night, my dear.

Good night. Now I think I'll go to sleep.

Honey, honey,
I'm really sorry.

Oh, not now, Van.
Good night.

Hey!

Hello, fellows!

I've been fishing
the hard way.

Not only a Rumplemeyer,

but also a Sitzenflugel.

Good morning.
Good morning.

Good morning, Samuel!

Oh, don't get up.
Where's everybody?

I'm using their bait.

Nobody didn't
get up yet.

Oh, I see.

Samuel, have you been
with Mr. Bennett long?

Oh, yes.

Well, is anything
the matter with him?

Isn't he peculiar?

I mean, he isn't
married, is he?

No, he ain't
that peculiar.

Thank you, Samuel.
Hope you catch a whale.

Yes.

Well! Hello there,
you all!

My, aren't you
chipper this morning.

Well, have you ever seen
such a morning?

Dachi! Dachi, dear.

I'm going to leave you
$100,000 in my will.

Oh, blessings on you,
Frederick.

Gwen, you act just like
a girl in love.

Do I?

Oh, pardon, Miss Gwen,

but a Mr. Bishop tried to reach you
on the telephone early this morning.

Oh! Well, if he calls again,
no matter where I am,

I'll be in swimming.

I know who the other
little lovebird is.

The Flamingo seems to
work a strange magic.

We have a veritable
boatload of love.

What do you mean, Auntie?

Well...

Mr. and Mrs. Bennett
are back together again.

Isn't that nice?

Isn't that wonderful?

What?

And, I don't mind
telling you,

we deserve a little
of the credit.

You'd be surprised. Yes.

It was a plot.
We hatched it.

Oh, but there is no Mrs.
Bennett. He's not married.

But we know
differently, dear.

But you can't know differently.
He's just not, that's all.

He told me he's not, and
his man just told me, too,

and he's been
with him for years.

But we heard them
talking together.

Well, I don't care what you
heard. They're not married.

She's nothing to him.
Nothing at all.

He told me so himself.

Good heavens.

And on our boat!
It's ghastly.

What is?

Mr. Bennett was in Miss
Graham's room last night.

We saw him go in.

We were happy
about it.

We arranged it.

Oh, my soul!

Oh, Auntie!

Good morning, Samuel.
Good morning.

You look radiant.

Gainsborough should
have painted you.

Hello!

Met him last night.

It's a wonder you ain't got
pneumonia, sleeping with fish.

Oh, don't worry about those little
things, Sam. What time is it?

You got your
hourglass with you?

Yes.

Never mind.
What day is it?

Well, the little hand...
It's 10:00.

10:00! Not 8:00
or 7:00 or 9:00,

but 10:00!

In six more hours,
it'll be Christmas.

Christmas? Is Mr. Roosevelt been
moving them holidays around again?

Hold it, Sam!

Well, hello!

My dear Miss Saunders,
good morning!

Well, was there ever
such a morning?

No, never. Never such a night either.

Yes, fun, wasn't it?
What's the matter?

Why, nothing's the matter.

Why don't you just go on and do
whatever you were going to do?

Well, I thought maybe I'd have
a little coffee and sit with you.

Well, why don't you have your coffee
with Miss Graham, who's nothing to you.

Oh, she's not up yet.

I mean, why would I want to
have coffee with Miss Graham?

Mr. Bennett, you're a
shameless and unmitigated liar.

Oh, don't say that!
Don't ever say that!

But you are.
You lied to me!

Please, be quiet.

Just answer
one question.

Were you in Miss Graham's
room last night?

Oh, yes, but...
Thanks.

Thank you very much.

Miss Saunders, you see...

Plainly!

Look what came up,
Miss Saunders!

Oh, go soak your head!

Hey, boss!

Hey, boss,
I got a great big...

Oh, why don't you
fall overboard?

What a short Christmas.

Linda?
Go away, Dick.

How would you like
to make $3,333?

What?

And 33 cents.

Go away.

How about $6,666?

And 66 cents?

Yeah.

Come in!

Oh, hello.

Could you put some
right here, too, hun?

Surely, surely.

Here's a chair here,
Mr. Bennett.

Oh, thank you.

That's all right.
Don't get up.

Is she...

Yes.

Lovely morning,
isn't it?

I feel a little
chill myself.

Where's your
Miss Graham?

My... Oh, well,
I don't know.

She's charming.
Where did you meet her?

At the office.
Look at Van.

I must remember
to eat more raw meat.

Mr. Bennett, you seem to have
established a reputation for integrity.

Tell me.

Was Dick trying to hide from Miss
Graham when she arrived last night?

I was trying to hide.
Lots of people hide.

Including my husband?

Here I am.
Barnacle Bill the sailor.

Sorry to be late, honey.

Tried my luck
off the stern.

Oh, you should have seen
the one that got away.

I thought she was
still sleeping.

Harriet dear, let's take
a walk. This is no time...

This is as good
a time as any.

Harriet,
darling...

I want to know once and for all.
What is that Graham woman to you?

I told you,
she's nothing to me.

She's Bennett's friend.

Oh, she is not! She is
nothing to me, either.

Well, I don't believe it. What
were you doing in her room?

I had to go through her
room to get to your room.

What?

Then, you were
in Gwen's room!

No!
Were you?

Yes.
What?

How did you get into her
room? We had your clothes.

I was wearing Mrs. Ralston's dressing gown.

The pink one
with feathers.

Feathers?
Yeah!

What were you doing
in my niece's room?

Mr. Bennett,
if you tell...

If I tell, you'll
be there if I could.

What did you say?
What?

I don't chew
my cabbage twice.

Why did you go
to her room?

She asked me to,
and drop that body.

Gwen, I can't
believe this.

How dare you
say such a thing?

I have to.
It's the truth!

Well, this is
no time for truth!

Yes, it is! There is no better time!

Bennett, I'm going to break
you into a million pieces.

Oh! Don't hurt him!

If I only had my glasses.

No, no, no, Van!

What is going on here?

Quiet, everybody! Van!

What are you doing
to my darling?

Darling?
Huh?

What are you doing?
My husband!

I'm not your husband!
I'm not anybody's husband!

Oh, well, what's
a husband but a name?

It isn't bell or book or
candlelight that makes a marriage.

It's what's in two hearts
that really matters.

Leave my heart out of
this. It never met yours.

I mean, it won't!

All right, Steve.
I'll go.

I'll go my way alone.

But I'll take
little Stevie with me.

Yeah, well, take...
Little Stevie!

Stevie who?
Little Stevie?

You're putting her up to it,
Donnelly! There's no little Stevie.

Oh!

Our hearts were
never anything!

I only met her yesterday,
and you introduced me to her.

Oh, take it like
a man, Bennett.

Oh, Harriet!

Cad.

Mr. Bennett, of all the
despicable things that you've done,

this is the lowest.

Breaking up a happily married
couple, lying to save your own neck.

I didn't lie!
I didn't lie!

Why, you even tried
to break us up!

Yes! How about that?

Van, at least,
is a man of honor.

He knows that
I'm completely innocent.

Well...

Our marriage is going
to be based on trust.

Marriage?
Yes, darling. Marriage.

Come on, Van.

But listen!

Come, my dear.

Oh!

Thanks.

310 Biscayne Building. My office
hours are from 2:00 to 4:00.

2:00 to 4:00.
Four...

Oh, Father Time, get going!
Get the lead out of your sarong!

Never mind.
Just wait a minute.

Say, what are
you doing?

There's less than
an hour left.

Van and I are changing
every clock on the boat

and we've hooked
Bennett's watch.

Well, what's the idea?

Well, he'll think the
bet's over ahead of time,

start lying,
and we'll have him.

That's the best idea
you've had.

In fact, it's the first idea you've had.

Where can I find
Miss Saunders?

On the upper deck, sir.

You can just
wait here.

I'll be here.

Well, maybe you're right. I don't...

Mr. Bennett, Mr. Bennett, it's Mr. Bishop!

Who? Mr. Bishop, and I
don't want to see him.

The only reason
I'm talking to you

is because I don't want to
talk to him. You see him.

Huh?
You promised me,

you'd have those
green things by now.

Well, it's almost 4:00.

Yeah, but where...

What green things?

Well, you know,
green things.

What green things are
you going to get at 4:00?

And no evasions.

Here you are,
Mr. Bishop.

Oh, Mr. Bishop,
well, hello!

Mr. Bishop,
meet Mr. Donnelly.

Mr. Donnelly,
Mr. Bishop.

Where is Miss Saunders?

Miss Saunders?

Yes, with an "AU."
Where is she?

She's right over there...
Oh, she went that way.

How far?
Not far.

Well, how far?

Well, distance is only a question
of relativity, as Einstein said.

Now, you take
the caterpillar...

Hey, cut that out. From here
to where Miss Saunders is

would be about 20 miles
to a caterpillar...

Of course, with you, it's different,
'cause you're no caterpillar,

or you wouldn't be wearing a
double-breasted suit, and that's nice, too.

Young man. Young man, I
think you're a lunatic.

What's going on here?

Oh, Mr. Van Dusen,
Mr. Bishop.

Mr. Bishop,
Mr. Donnelly...

Hey, T. T!
Mr. Van Dusen...

Mr. Ralston!
Mr. Bishop.

Stop it!

Bennett, are you
trying to waste time?

Yes!

Mr. Ralston, you are Miss Saunders' uncle?

Yes.
Mr. Ralston,

I am Chairman of the collection
committee for the Seaside Home.

Your niece signed a note
guaranteeing $40,000,

none of which
we have received.

She has already
collected $10,000.

$10,000!

And she has been
avoiding me,

and refuses to divulge what she
did with these charity funds.

I'm afraid the committee
is all for referring

the matter to the police.

Oh, you mean,
she can go to jail?

She most certainly can.

10,000...
Those green things.

Anderson, Stevens!

Yes, sir?

Come here.

Come on, fellows.

Don't let Mr. Bennett
move from this spot.

Will you excuse us,
Mr. Bishop?

Mr. Ralston,
I have no time!

We have even less.
We'll be right back.

Come in here. Let's
get away from that door.

10,000?

That's Gwen's money.

Why, of course.

Yeah! She gave Bennett
the money and he bet it.

Well, that's why they
were together so much.

And that's why
he went to her room!

Oh, I promised
to double it.

If he wins, jehoshaphat,
it'll cost me $20,000 more.

Oh, wait!

He's trapped.
We got him!

What?
We'll get Bishop to ask him

what he did
with Gwen's money.

That's right. He can't answer without
either lying or divulging the bet.

We've got him
red-handed. Come on!

Anderson, Stevens,

escort Mr. Bennett
into the living room.

Oh, now, what is this?
Wait a minute!

Mr. Bishop, that man
has your $10,000.

Miss Saunders
gave it to him.

To him? That lunatic?
He is a madman.

Now, you do
just as we say.

You ask him
what he did with it.

Yes, keep asking. Don't
let up. Just keep asking.

Now, just keep asking.
Ask him what he did with it.

Wait a minute. This is
a free boat, isn't it?

Sorry, sir.
Orders!

Don't get so physical. I
got a brother who's a marine.

All right, go ahead
and ask him.

Young man, I understand
you have my $10,000.

Oh, Mr. Bishop,
Mr. Anderson.

Mr. Bishop,
Mr. Stevens.

We're sailors.

Dr. Zarak,
Mr. Bishop.

Mr. Ralston,
Dr. Zarak.

We've met! Oh, Mr. Donnelly, Mr. Bishop.

Dr. Zarak, meet the Navy.

Mr. Bishop...
Answer my question.

Did Miss Saunders
give you $10,000?

Well, I'll tell you.

She came...

Hello there!
Hello, Uncle!

And Mr. Bishop. Why, you look
splendid, and such rosy cheeks.

Have you been yachting?
Doesn't he?

Miss Saunders...
Don't ask her. Ask him.

Mr. Bennett, did Miss
Saunders give you $10,000?

Uh...

And, Mr. Bennett, you're
going to get the first piece.

Thanks.

Miss Saunders...
Dr. Zarak.

That wonderful book.

Mr. Bishop, have you seen this book yet?

I can hardly
put it down.

All right, Bishop. Answer
Mr. Bishop's question.

What did you say?

Where is that $10,000?

Where is the $10,000
Miss Saunders gave you?

What time is it?
Tea time!

Tea, everybody!

It's almost 4:00.

Time for tea.

Tea for T. T?

We don't want no tea!
Take that cup away from him!

I'll serve yours
myself, Mr. Bishop.

I demand to know
what he did with that...

Oh, that's too bad. I'm
sorry! That's too bad.

I'm all right.

I want to know
what you did...

Oh, Mr. Bishop, did you
meet Mrs. Ralston?

Mrs. Van Dusen, Mr. Van Dusen, Mr. Bishop.

Is this
a mad house?

Practically, perhaps I can be of some help.

Shut up!

I beg your pardon!
He's my guest.

Answer the question!
Sit down!

What did you do with the
$10,000 you got from Gwen?

Samuel!

Samuel, it's tea time!

One lump or two?

Two lumps and lemon
in mine, please.

What did you say?

I'll just take
a cookie.

Cookie...

Come on now,
this has gone far...

I don't want
any cookie!

Yes, you do.

I...
Crumpets?

Pink cakes or white?
Pink!

Crumpets or no crumpets,

either you'll answer my question,
or I'll send for the police,

and charge this girl with
embezzling charity money.

This can hardly be kept
out of the newspapers.

Well, it'll certainly
be in my paper.

What? You wouldn't
print that!

This is news!

Business is business,
and news is my business!

Bennett, I think I'll find words
this time that'll keep you awake.

Come on, tell us the truth. What
did you do with Gwen's $10,000?

Oh, do you really
want to know?

I must know!

And you want him to know
what I did with the money?

Yes!

And you want him to know?
Yes!

Yes!
Yes!

Answer him!

Well, if you all really want to
know what I did with the $10,000...

Yes!

Ask Mr. Ralston.

Who? Me? No, no.
I don't know.

Fibber, how do you like it?

Well, ask Van!
I don't know.

Well, ask Dick.
No, no. I have no idea.

Steve.

This is a very
serious matter.

I insist that you answer
him now, or forfeit.

Look who's here.

Oh, the ladies...

Hello, ladies.
What is this?

Answer that question.
Oh, I'll answer the phone.

It didn't ring. Well, let's
not wait till the last minute.

What did you do
with the money?

The first thing I did
was count it.

Then,
what'd you do?

Then, I put it
in an envelope.

Then,
what did you do?

Who, me?
Yes! Yes!

Oh, I...
Hurry, hurry.

Then I invested it.

In what?

Oh, in a wonderful
common stock

that doubled itself all double in 24 hours.

No, you didn't.
You lose!

I do not, I win!

You lose! What you just
said makes you lose.

Yeah? Yeah?
It's after 4:00.

No!

It's only 3:45 now.

We moved the clock ahead.

Yes, but I set it back.

And I set it ahead.

Again?
Mmm-hmm.

That's illegal.
Oh, no!

There's nothing in the bet
against that. All right, boys...

Will someone tell me what
this is all about immediately?

I'm sorry, old boy.

I lose?

I've lost.
Oh!

I guess
this is my fault, boss.

I didn't know I was doing
nothing, fooling with the clock.

Oh, well, never mind...
What did you say?

I said, I come in here a while
ago and I seen by my watch

that the clock
was wrong.

So, I moved it back
15 minutes.

When it comes to watches,
I'm a stickler for details.

Oh, Sam!

Then, that's
the right time!

Well, thanks, fellows!
My condolences! Thank you.

Better luck next time.
Thank you.

I didn't know I was doing nothing wrong.

Now, wait a minute.
How do we...

Pudgy, listen.

Huh?

When you hear the tone,

the time will be 4:03.

Did you hear
the tone, Pudgy?

Yeah.

Samuel, I'm gonna
buy you a platinum watch.

In the meantime, you
can give me your old one.

Yes. Belongs
to you anyway.

Mr. Bennett, would you be
good enough to explain?

Oh, yes, I will.

You see, I bet that...
Won't you sit down?

I bet them $10,000 of Gwen's
charity money that I could...

Yes?

That I could lie
for 24 hours.

It's a silly bet, but now that I've won,
it's gonna be such a relief to tell the truth.

Oh, Mrs. Donnelly,
Dick never knew Linda.

He didn't? No, that was my biggest whopper.

She's an old
friend of mine.

Went to Miami High together.

Oh! Dick, have I...

Well, you certainly have!

And, Linda, old girl, I'm
personally going to see that

someone gives you
the money for your show.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Thank you so much,
Mrs. Ralston.

Oh, I just can't wait
to tell Charlie!

Goodbye!

She's crazy about Charlie.

Bennett, you were not lying. Huh?

I'm not as gullible
as those fellows, you know.

What was that stock
you bought?

Oh, well...

Could it have been
Los Lomas Quicksilver?

Come on, come on! You can't leave
me out of a good thing, you know.

Well, it's
T. T.'s personal...

Well, what about it, T. T?

Van Dusen, it's
highly speculative.

I can afford to take a flyer
if you can. Come on outside.

All right!

Why, T.T., this is too-too!

Now, you see, Mr. Bishop? You've
been worrying about nothing!

Nothing at all. Mr.
Bennett had the $20,000.

Uncle's gonna double it, that
makes 30. No, I mean 40. You see?

Oh, well!

And as for you, Mr. Bennett, may
I see you outside for a minute?

Oh, you bet.

Mr. Bennett, may I...

Oh, Mrs. Van Dusen! You
know what I said about you?

Yes.
Well, I didn't mean that.

You look about 18.
Oh!

Well, 28,
even on a clear day.

Oh, flatterer!

Yes.
There, you see, dear?

And, Van, you know
what I said about you?

I meant that.

So, you made a bet
to lie for 24 hours.

That's the truth.

Oh, then you didn't mean it when
you said you'd like to kiss me?

Well, I'll tell you a
bigger lie than that. What?

I don't love you and I don't think I
could kiss you till your ears fly off.

There's
no harm in trying.

No, there isn't.

Not only a Sitzenflugel,

but also a Volfenschnitz.

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