All language subtitles for 2022-02-25_15-02-52_Peter Pan Full Play

[♪ GENTLE PIANO CHORDS]

All children grow up.

They soon know that they'll grow up,
and the way that I knew was this.

One day, when I was two years old,
I was playing in the garden

and I plucked a flower
and I ran with it to my mother.

And I suppose I must have looked
rather delightful,

for she put her hand to her heart
and cried,

'Oh, why can't you stay like this
for ever?'

And that was all that passed
between us on the subject but, after that,

I knew that I must grow up.

You always know after you're two.

Two is the beginning of the end.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

In this house, at number 14,
there used to live...

my mother.

George, darling, I can't find my pearl
earring anywhere. I do love it so.

– My father.
– Mary, darling.

It is twenty to seven.

I don't mean to rush you.
I'm just telling you what the time is.

My brother, John.

♪ I just got a shilling
for eating all my dinner! ♪

And my youngest brother, Michael.

Teddy! Teddy! We're under attack.

And reigning above us all was...

– Nana! Come on, girl! Come on, Nana!
– [BARKING]

– Nana!
– What?

– (LAUGHTER)
– What do you want?

Oh, would you look at this place!
This place was tidy half an hour ago!

– Right, it's bed time. Come on. Bed!
– Nana, sit!

– Wendy, I really don't have time for...
– Nana!

– Sit!
– All right, all right.

I'll sit and then it's bed time, OK?

Look, I sat. Aren't I a good girl?
Come on, bed, bed, bed, bed, bed!

– Now, Nana, beg.
– Beg?

– Beg, Nana.
– [SCOFFS] Beg?

You really want me to beg?
Are you serious? I don't beg for anyone.

[BARK]

John, give me the biscuit.

– Nana.
– Oh, for crying out loud!

Would you like a nice little biscuit?

You know I'll do anything for a biscuit.

Let's tickle Nana!

Oh, I like it, I like it, I like it.

Stop! No!

I don't like it! Bed time!

– Come along now, my darlings.
– Mother!

– Time for you to get some sleep.
– [WENDY GROANS]

Daddy and I have got to go
to this silly party.

But I suppose there might just be time
for a little more of the story.

Come on, Nana.

– Where had we got to?
– WENDY: Cinderella was at the ball.

– She was dancing with the prince.
– No, no.

– She was leaving the ball.
– That's it.

– The chimes of midnight had struck.
– Bong! Bong!

Cinderella's glass slipper fell off
as she hurtled down the steps...

Ooh!

Stupid tie!

– Is there something the matter, dear?
– The matter?

The matter is, that this tie will not tie.
Not around my neck, no.

Around the bed-post? Oh, yes!

20 times I've tied it around the bedpost,
but around my neck? No!

Mary, if this tie does not tie around
my neck we don't go to CJ's party tonight.

And if we don't go to CJ's party tonight,
we never go to the office again.

And if I never go to the office again,

you and I shall starve and the children
will be thrown into the streets!

– There, I've done it.
– [GASPS]

She's done it!

She's a marvel. Hoopla!

ALL: Hoopla!

– Shoes off the bed, Mr Darling.
– Nana off the bed, Nana.

– Shoes off the bed. Shoes off the bed.
– Nana, off the bed. Off the bed.

– Shoes off the bed. Shoes off the bed.
– Nana, off the bed. Nana! Nana!

– Nana, sit!
– Shoes...

Nana, sit!

Sit! Sit! Sit!

– Sit! Sit!
– [GROWLING]

I don't like the noise that dog is making.

– And she's covered me in hair!
– Let me brush you, darling.

Oh! I sometimes think, Mary, that it was
a mistake to have a dog for a nurse.

– Where's my shoe?
– No, no. No, George.

Nana is a treasure. We must keep her,
and I will tell you why.

– I am listening.
– My dear...

Tonight, when I came into this room,
I saw a face at the window.

– A-ha!
– It was the face of a little boy.

Its not the first time I have seen him.

Three floors up?
Of course you did, dear.

Now, cufflinks. Would you mind?

Of course, darling. The first time
that I saw him was about a week ago.

I was drowsing by the fire when I looked
around I saw the boy standing in the room.

– In the room?
– I screamed! The boy escaped.

But his shadow...
His shadow didn't have time to get out.

Down came the window and cut it clean off.

And here it is.

Well, it's no one I know.

– (LAUGHTER)
– But he looks a scoundrel!

George, I think the boy
is coming back for his shadow.

Seven o'clock, Mary.
We're going to be late!

– Silly me. I forgot Michael's medicine.
– No, I won't take it.

Come along, be a man, Michael.

You can have a nice chocolate afterwards.

FATHER: Oh, stop mothering him, Mother.
I take my medicine without a murmur.

Then take a spoonful of yours now
as an example to Michael.

WENDY: I'll fetch it for you, Father.

Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!

Oh, John! John! It's that really
disgusting sickly sweet kind.

– Be a man, Father. It'll soon be over.
– I was as quick as I could.

– After you, Michael.
– Ha-ha! Father's a cowardly custard!

Well, if you are so brave,
you take your medicine.

– No, you take it.
– No, you take it.

Why don't you both take it
at the same time?

What a good idea. Sit down.

Are you ready?

WENDY: One... two...

Three!

– It was delicious.
– [ALL COMPLAIN]

– Father hasn't taken his!
– Oh, John!

– Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
– Oh, have a chocolate, Michael.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right.
That's it, you coddle him.

Coddle him. Nobody wants to coddle me.

Coddle him. Nobody wants to coddle me.

Why would they?
I'm only the breadwinner of the family.

I mean, why should I even want
to be coddled?

Why? Why? Why?

– George, apologise to Michael.
– I don't see why I should.

Will you do as you're told,
George, please?

I am sorry, Michael.

– Now take your medicine.
– Oh, is it really necessary?

ALL: One, two, three...

Oh, this is really bad.
Oh, that is disgusting!

I need a chocolate.

– [SHRIEKS, SOBS]
– [CHILDREN LAUGH]

Please!

Please, will you all just get into bed?

NANA: Come on, bed.

FATHER: So you listen to her?

Is she the master of this house or am I?

The proper place for you, young lady,
is outside in the yard.

ALL: No, no, no, no.

George, what are you doing?
No, George.

Remember what I told you...about the boy.

[NANA WHINING]

Now listen,
Nana is going to be quite all right.

A breath of fresh air is going
to do her the world of good

and when Daddy and I get back
from the party I will bring her in again.

You don't have to worry.
Be brave, my darlings.

– [HOWLING]
– Nana! She sounds really unhappy.

No. No. That is not her unhappy bark.

– [HOWLING, BARKING]
– That's her bark when she smells danger.

– Danger? Are you sure, Wendy?
– Oh, yes.

JOHN: Is anything there?

Nothing at all. [NERVOUS LAUGH]
Only the moon and the stars.

[TO HERSELF] I wish I wasn't
going out tonight.

I will light the nightlight.
That is what I will do.

[♪ GENTLE MELODY]

Mother? Can anything harm us
once the nightlight is lit?

Nothing at all, my precious.

It is the watchful eye a mother leaves
behind her to guard her children.

I'm glad of you, Mother.

– Mother, what about the story?
– We'll finish it tomorrow night.

♪ Go to sleep now

♪ Close your eyes and dream

♪ Safe in your home

[KISSING]

♪ I will be always here for you ♪

Good night, my darlings.

[♪ MELODY BECOMES SINISTER]

Tink?

Hey, Tink. Have you found it yet?

Tinker Bell?

Tink, where are you?

[INCOHERENT MUMBLING APPROACHES]

Shadow! There you are.

I've missed you.

Come on. We have to go.

– [YAWNS]
– What's wrong?

Well, come on.

– [INCOHERENT MUMBLING]
– Stop it.

Stop it!

– [STRAINING]
– Ssh! You'll wake the children!

[STRAINING]

At last! I've missed you.

We have to go, so hold on tight.

Ready? Here we go.

What's wrong? Huh? Ha!

Forgotten what to do?
You've been on your own too long.

You have to stick. Stick!

Stick, stick.

Ready? Hold on tight.

Here we go! Oh!

[CRYING]

Boy, why are you crying?

– I wasn't crying.
– It looked like you were crying.

– What's your name?
– Wendy Moira Angela Darling.

– What's yours?
– Peter Pan.

Didn't your mother give you
any middle names?

– I don't have a mother.
– No wonder you were crying.

I wasn't crying.

You seemed to be having a problem
with your shadow.

– Yes.
– You have tried sewing it?

– What's sewing?
– Surely you know what sewing is.

– Of course. It's...
– I was given this last Christmas.

I've opened it once,
but only so they'd think I like it.

But I don't. I hate sewing.

– What colour thread would you like?
– Green.

Ah.

Dead.

En garde, shadow!

– Are you trying to be funny?
– No.

You don't know how to sew at all, do you?

Oh, yes, I do. You just watch me sew.

Oh, I can see I'll have to do it.
Give it here.

Sit.

– On the bed.
– Oh, on the bed.

– With your shadow.
– With the shadow.

Have you ever had anything
surgically re-attached?

– No.
– Feet.

– I dare say this will hurt a little.
– I'm not frightened.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Oh, the cleverness of me!

I am such cocky lad!

Sometimes I'm good!

Sometimes I'm bad!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Did you see that... Wendy?

Moira? Angela? Darling?

Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Cock a doodle wotsit!

You are so full of yourself.

You're exactly like John when he manages
to squeeze another sixpence

out of Mother and Father
by pretending to be nice

and you ask him what he's going
to spend it on and he says,

'Only silly people spend
their money all at once.

'Sensible people set it aside
in a savings account.'

And then Father says, 'That's exactly
what the government would say.'

Sometimes I hit John
and I'm the one who gets into trouble,

which is so unfair because
it was John's fault in the first place.

Now you're behaving exactly like him,
which is such a shame

because in my dreams you were always
so much fun, but you have spoilt it now.

You are a real disappointment!

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wendy!

I can't help cock-a-doodle-dooing
every now and then, that is what I do.

I'm Peter Pan. Ha!

Wendy, I think one girl is worth
more than 20 boys.

– Do you really think so?
– Yes, I do.

Thank you. That's very nice of you to say.

– If you like, I'll give you a kiss.
– Yes, please!

Surely you know what a kiss is?

Well, I will when you give it to me.

Yes, yes, yes, I know.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

It's finger armour! Ha-ha!

Shall I give you a kiss?

– Yes, please.
– Close your eyes.

Close your eyes really tightly.

Now you can open them.

Ooh. Oh, thank you.

– Well, I'll put it in my chest pocket.
– Yes.

I will put mine in my chest pocket.

– [MUFFLED CRIES, KNOCKING]
– Tink!

Tink?
Have you seen a little tiny fairy in here?

– Tink? Tinker Bell.
– A fairy? Oh, don't be so ridiculous!

– Nobody believes in fair...
– No, don't say that.

Don't ever say that.

Do you know every time a child says
'I don't believe in [MOUTHS]',

there is a [MOUTHS] somewhere
that drops down dead.

– [MUFFLED CRIES, KNOCKING
– Tink?

If you want to see a real fairy in action,
clap your hands like this.

Peter, you're not trying to tell me
there's a real fairy in my room?

Bride o la! Bride o la!

Here. You ready? Three, two, one, out!

Off skuff ekas Peta!
Ewear eroo? Ma reanly dee id.

Ma reanly dee id!

– Calm down, Tink.
– Peter, what's the matter with her?

Peta, me soofa borea plonka!

She's upset, she's been under the planks.

– Peter, I want her!
– Oo geeb, fleecy, pusty, she bore.

– What did she say?
– Are you sure you want to know?

Yes.

She says she thinks that you are a...

– Geeb.
– Big.

– Fleecy... Pusty...
– Hairy... Ugly...

– She bore! She bore!
– Girl.

Well, I rather thought
she might be a good deal prettier.

Pretae? Pretae?

Harky meem glir bud.
Tinker Bell, minkin oo mizzy mizzy manky.

Chunka she bore. Chunka she bore!

What have I told you
about using language like that?

– No. We're leaving.
– Where are you going?

– Back to the Lost Boys.
– Who are they?

They are the boys who fell out of their
prams when their mothers weren't looking.

If they're not claimed within seven days,
they are sent far away to Neverland.

– I'm captain.
– Aren't there any girls?

Well, of course not!

Girls are far too clever
to fall out of their prams.

I think it's lovely
the way you talk about girls.

If you like, you may give me a kiss.

Oh, yes, well I knew you'd want it back.

No, no, no. I don't mean a kiss,
I mean... a thimble.

Ooh. What's a thimble?

I'll show you.

Ha! That's funny.

– Shall I give you a thimble?
– Yes, please.

– Ow!
– Zheee!! Pusty moom zzzzzz morta!

Weed yank, weed yank,
timble timble, weed yank.

She says she's going to do that to you
every time you try and give me a thimble.

– What have I ever done to you?
– Eva done a u! Lok dee clow, glir bud.

– Peta, Peta, a vouchcous Neverland.
– We are.

– Folly chunka she bore BONG! BONG!
– Yes.

That's right, Tink.
We need to know the end of the story.

Your mother was telling you a story,
about...

– ♪ La-la-la-la-la
– Yes. A lady who turns into a pumpkin.

– Oh, you mean Cinderella.
– Yeah, that's the one.

Well, she marries the prince
and lives happily ever after.

PETER: Marries the prince
and lives happily ever after.

– I must get back before I forget that.
– Don't you know that story?

No. I don't know any stories.

None of us do.
That's why I come here.

When the window is open I sit on the ledge
and listen to the stories

and then take them back for the Lost Boys.

Only the last time your mother closed
the window halfway through.

This time I only came back
to get my shadow.

Don't go, Peter.
I know such lots of stories.

You know stories?

You know stories.

Come on, Tink. You know stories!

Come on.

No, no, no. Let me go.

You'd rather spend all night
in your silly little bed

when you could be out there,
flying with me?

– Fly?
– Yes.

– You can fly?
– Come with me.

– I can't fly.
– I'll teach you.

– Would you teach John and Michael too?
– Why not?

Michael, Michael. Wake up, dear.
Wake up, wake up.

John, wake up, you big fat lump!

This is Peter Pan
and he's come to teach us how to fly.

– JOHN: Wow! Can you really fly?
– Oh, yes.

– Go on, then.
– John, don't be such a doubting Thomas!

– I haven't seen him doing anything yet.
– Patience. He's getting ready.

Whenever you're ready. In your own time.

Off you go.

Watch me fly!

(APPLAUSE)

– MICHAEL: Wow! How did you do that?
– Simple, really.

All you have to do is think of a wonderful
thought in your head and...

..you will need fairy string.

(LAUGHTER)

– MICHAEL: Ooh, I want a go.
– So, think of a wonderful thought.

– Mother's ginger biscuits.
– And what will you need?

– Fairy string.
– And a wonderful thought in your head

that will help to lift you off the ground.

Flying my kite on a windy day in the park.

Ha-ha! Look at me! I'm flying!

– My turn.
– So, think of a wonderful thought.

– A wonderful thought?
– (APPLAUSE)

– Playing football till tea time.
– And what will you need?

– Fairy string.
– Give me your hand.

Wonderful thought.

A wonderful thought.

Counting how much money
I've got in my savings.

(LAUGHTER)

Beating Father at chess.

Beating Wendy at chess!

– [JOHN LAUGHING]
– I think I'd quite like a go now, please.

– Yes. So, shoes on.
– Yes, yes. Shoes on.

Now, you need to think
of a wonderful thought in your head

– and you will need fairy...
– Yes, fairy string, I know.

I've been watching you.

Sitting on John's head in the garage
until he passed out.

[MICHAEL LAUGHS]

When Mother spent two months
sewing me a dress

and everyone said it was the prettiest.

When giant slugs came over the garden wall
and ate all of Father's prize cucumbers.

– [SHRIEKS]
– PETER: Again, again!

When my pet wolf walked out of the forest

and asked if it could sleep
at the end of my bed.

[PETER BLOWS PIPES]

MICHAEL: Peter, how far can you fly?

– Further than you can imagine!
– JOHN: Let's fly out the window!

MICHAEL: Yes, let's fly out the window!

Yes! Let's fly out the window!

WENDY: No! No! No!
We are not flying out of the window.

Wendy, you don't want to ride
on the wind's back?

I couldn't. Think of Mother.

Oh, so you don't want
to see pirates, then?

You don't want to see mermaids
swimming in the lagoons?

– Mermaids? With tails?
– Oh, such long tails.

Oh, I would love to see a mermaid.

[BLOWS A TUNE]
♪ Wendy out the window!

[BOYS JOIN IN] ♪ Wendy out the window
Wendy out the window

♪ Wendy out the window
Wendy out the window

♪ Wendy out the window
Wendy out the window... ♪

– All right! Let's fly out the window.
– Yes!

PETER: So, first things first.

We have to open the window.

[WIND RUSHES]

Now, walk to the ledge...
but don't look down.

[ALL GASP]

– Ready?
– Ready!

Second to the right
and straight on till morning.

[♪ UPLIFTING ORCHESTRAL]

[♪ UPLIFTING ORCHESTRAL]

[♪ SLOW ELECTRONIC BEEPS, WHOOSHES]

[RAINFALL]

[FLUTTERING]

– PETER: There it is!
– WENDY: Oh, it's just as I imagined.

– John, look, there's your lagoon.
– JOHN: Look, Michael, there's your cave.

– Wendy, there's your wolf.
– Where?

There, just across that mysterious river.
Woah!

– Who is that girl standing in the water?
– That's Tiger Lily.

– WENDY: Is she your friend?
– She lives with the wolves.

So, you want an adventure
or you want to have your tea first?

– WENDY: Tea first.
– JOHN: No. What kind of adventure?

Pirates!
Shall we go down and kill one?

– JOHN: Have you killed many?
– Tons! And their captain is Hook.

WENDY: She's the deadliest
pirate of them all.

PETER: She's the only one
that Blackbeard was afraid of.

– I am the boy who cut off her hand.
– MICHAEL: You're very brave Peter.

I know. That's why I'm captain.

There's one thing that all those
who serve under me must promise.

If we meet those pirates in open conflict,
you leave Hook to me.

– You understand?
– JOHN/MICHAEL: We promise.

– PETER: Do you promise, too, Wendy?
– WENDY: Oh, all right.

JOHN: Look!
The pirates are loading their cannon.

They've spotted us!
Meet you down on the island. Hurry!

[BOOM]

[MUFFLED SHOUTS]

[DISTANT BATTLE RAGING]

[STOPS SUDDENLY]

[♪ BING, BONG, BING]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome to Neverland.

[♪ UPBEAT, WHIMSICAL]

[WHOOPING, LAUGHTER]

♪ Oober furry what's it
Doodle flanger whizzy werry woo!

♪ Giant butterflies and crocodiles

♪ Oochi coochi woo woo
Oogie googie smelly botty bum

♪ We are the Lost Boys
we live in Neverland

♪ We got here some time ago,
we fell out of our prams

♪ Woo!
We are the Lost Boys, brave soldiers all

♪ Ready to do battle when we hear
our captain call

♪ We are the Lost Boys,
best of friends to some

♪ We're as tough as leather
but we really miss our mums

♪ Really miss our mums
Really miss our mums

[VOICES BREAKING]
♪ Really miss our mums...

[CRYING, MUSIC STOPS]

[MUSIC STARTS, ALL CHEER]

♪ Nongy nangy noo noo
Shunner doobie cooking in my book

♪ Beeeep ffffffffffppp

♪ Flinger dangy blah blah
Snoogle oogle shiny box of aaaahhhhh

♪ Speaking trees and houses
made of chocolate

– [MUSIC STOPS]
– ALL: Tiger Lily!

Boys, you have got to get out of here!
They're coming.

[PANICKED VOICES]

[HOWLS]

[HOWLS]

[BOOM]

[BOOM, BOOM]

They're here.

Everybody hide!

[BOOM]

[BOOM]

[BOOM]

[BOOM]

[BOOM]

[♪ REGGAE RIFF]

Grrrr!

[LAUGHING]

[SHOUTING, HOLLERING, TAUNTING]

[♪ SINISTER]

He's close.

I can smell him.

Agh.

I can taste him.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Peter Pan!

[CACKLES]

If we had Peter Pan here
right now, with us in our grasp,

what would we do with him, hm?

What would we do with him,
my beautiful, barbaric...

..buccaneers?

[♪ REGGAE]

♪ Pull his little jacket off

Dismember with precision
and keep all the buttons.

♪ Bite his little fingers off

– Chew with care! No noise.
– ♪ Hush please!

– ♪ Tear his arms and legs right off
– Slice, not tear. I want them whole.

♪ Hang him up and let him rot

– Like a good steak, for 28 days.
– ♪ Tasty!

♪ Peter

♪ Paaaan

♪ We're gonna get ya

That's exactly what we are going to do.

♪ Peter

♪ Paaaaaaan

♪ We're gonna get ya

You will be so dead.

Pull out all his baby teeth.

– One by one.
– And very, very slowly.

Create some pretty jewellery.

– You need a new bracelet.
– I do.

Make a cut from north to south.

You're very partial to that method,
Capitano!

You're very partial to that method,
Capitano!

Rip all of his innards out.

– You could wear them as a scarf.
– Dainty.

♪ Peter

♪ Paaaaaaaan!

♪ We're gonna get ya!

That's exactly what we're going to do.

♪ Peter!

♪ Paaaan!

♪ We're gonna get ya

And you will be so dead.

– ♪ Crack him like a boiled egg
– Oh, yes, with a very soft yolk.

♪ Cut the top off of his head

Like a scalp, we'll hang it from the mast.

♪ Pretty!

♪ Make his eyes into a broach

Ooh, now you're talking, my hearties!

♪ That is Captain Hook's approach

To sum up,
how is it going to end for Pan?

♪ Badly

♪ Peter

♪ Paaaaaaaan!

♪ We're gonna get ya

That's exactly what we're going to do.

♪ Peter

Pan! Pan! Pan!

♪ We're gonna get ya

– And you will be so dead.
– [MUSIC STOPS]

You are the meanest crew of treacherous,
tyrannical cutthroats

who has sailed the high seas.

Show me your killing faces.

– Good!
– (APPLAUSE, CHEERS)

Remind me why we're here again?

– To get Peter Pan!
– [LAUGHS] Oh, yeah! Indeed.

Let's have it!

[STOPS LAUGHING]

Awwww.

– HOOK: Skylights, what is it?
– Oh, it's... It's nothing.

– You're sniveling. Why?
– It's just that... [CRIES]

[GENTLY] Oh, you can tell me.

– It's just that... [CRIES]
– Oh, it's all going to be all right.

It's just that I always liked teddies.

I used to have one myself
and I used to cuddle it at bedtime.

Agh!

Pirates

don't have

teddies.

(LAUGHTER)

– Do you all understand?
– ALL: Aye-aye, Captain.

Clear this mess up. Get back to the ship
and splice the main brace, if you please!

– Splice the main brace!
– Splice the main brace!

The way you dealt with Skylights
was very good, Captain.

Snivelling over a teddy?
What kind of pirate is that?

– Oh, it is no pirate at all.
– No pirate at all. Very well put, Smee.

If only they all had
your attention to detail.

– How do I look?
– You look an absolute picture, Captain.

A picture of what?

A picture of menace.

A picture of malice.

A picture of malevolence.

I have Pan to thank for this hook.

I've waited a very long time
to shake his soft little hand with it.

Hi!

Oh, I will tear him!

And yet, I have often heard you say
that a hook is worth a score of hands,

for combing the hair
and other such homely purposes.

Aye, if I were a mother I would pray
for my children to be born with this.

Instead of that.

SMEE: And it does come in handy
for killing!

– We need a plan.
– You are very good at plans, Captain.

Every time we get near them, they scatter
like mice. We need to find their hideout.

Find the mousehole, Smee,
and we can trap the mice.

It is the wittiest, prettiest policy
I ever heard of.

Shush... [COUGHS NERVOUSLY] Sorry.

– [TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...]
– S-sorry. Do you hear something?

– [TICKING CONTINUES]
– Crocodile.

I have often noticed your dread
of the Crocodylus fictionalis.

Not of the species in general, Smee,

just the one that swallowed my arm
after Pan cut it off.

And your watch with it.

Which still goes tick-tock and warns me
whenever the monster is nearby.

It liked the taste of me so much
it has pursued me ever since.

In a way, it is a sort of compliment.

I want no such compliments, Smee!

I want... Pan.

Be assured, Captain,
that no pirate will rest

until we have weaselled that little worm
out of his hole.

♪ Yo ho

♪ Yo ho!

♪ When I say 'claw'
By fear they're overtook

♪ Nought's left upon your bones when you
Have shaken hands with Hook

♪ Yo ho, yo ho

♪ When I appears
Both brave and bold are shook

♪ I'll pierce a hole in every vein

♪ For I... am Captain Hook. ♪

Come on, Smee.
[CLICKS TONGUE] This way.

(APPLAUSE)

– Is it all clear?
– I'm checking!

– All clear.
– Definitely?

– Definitely.
– Are you sure?

Yeah! I wish Peter was here.

– He always knows what to do.
– I don't like it when Peter's not here.

Especially with those scary pirates
so close by.

I'm not scared of pirates.

That's why Peter leaves me in charge
when he's away.

– No, I'm in charge.
– Don't be stupid.

Peter told me I was in charge.

– When?
– When no one else was looking.

– You're a liar, Nibs.
– I am not.

All right, then,
if Peter left you in charge

you tell us what shall we do
if the pirates come back?

– Um...
– Shall we stand and fight?

Or shall we run away?

NIBS: Hey! Look at that!

Over there in the sky!
What is that?

Ckk! It's coming this way, over.

– It must be a bird.
– Ckk! Bit big for a bird, Moonbase.

– Tootles. Chunka Tootles!
– Tinker Bell! Peter must be nearby.

Wendy cuckoo. Wendy cuckoo.
Wee wee icky faultacious. Peta de Morta!

Ping ping ping! Eskud! Morta!

Peter says what?

Ping! Ping! Ping! Morta!

Boys, a message from Peter.

– That thing up there is a Wendy bird.
– What's a Wendy bird?

Very dangerous.
Peter wants us to shoot it down.

ALL: Shoot it! Shoot its face!

[THUD]

I shot down the Wendy bird!
Peter is going to be so proud of me.

[♪ MELANCHOLIC PIANO MELODY]

– That is no bird.
– Birds do not wear pyjamas.

Ckk. Confirm, confirm.
We have no beak, over.

Ckk. Doesn't look like
it could lay an egg, over.

[COOING]

– I think it must be a lady.
– A lady?

– Tootles, what have you done?
– I've always dreamed of seeing a lady!

Aw, a lady to look after us at last.

Finally, a real lady came
and I have killed her.

Ooh! Peter is not going to like this.

PETER: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

– Peter!
– Oh, no, oh, no! What do I do?

– Don't get too close.
– Boys, I'm back!

– Why aren't you cheering?
– [LAME CHEER]

I have great news!

Great news, boys!
I have brought us back a lady...

– ALL: Ah!
– ..who is going to tell us stories.

Has anybody seen her?
She would have flown this way.

Here she is, Peter.

She's dead.

Perhaps she's frightened at being dead.

Whose arrow is this?

– Tootles?
– I didn't know she was a lady, Peter.

I'm disappointed in you, Tootles!

The lady!

[WENDY GROANING]

– I think she's saying...
– Owww! Owww!

– Poor Tootles.
– The Wendy lady lives.

– Yes!
– Well, look, of course she lives.

The arrow struck against this.

The kiss that I gave her.

Ha! It has saved her life.

– I remember kisses. Let me see.
– Let me see, let me see!

– Yeah, that's a kiss all right.
– That's a lovely kiss.

Look! Tinker Bell's angry
the Wendy lady lives.

She was the one that told me to shoot her.

PETER: Tinker Bell?

♪ La-la-la-la! ♪
Timble. Timble.

I'm very disappointed in you, Tinker Bell.

– WENDY: Ooh! Ah!
– Boys, get the banishment pram!

– O noo. O noooo.
– PETER: Oh, yes.

Uh wuh woo, Peta. Peta, uh wuh woo.

Tinker Bell, I don't ever want
to see you ever again.

O nooo.

♪ Twinkle twinkle little tink
Opley dolley oppley zonk ♪

Uh wuh woo, Peta.

All right. I won't see you
for a whole seven days, then.

– O noo. O noo.
– Yes, send him away!

Seven days. Court's adjourned.

– Ckk. We should put the Wendy in the den.
– Very, very carefully.

– Yes, she'll die if she stays here.
– No, no, no.

You must never ever move a lady.

– Yes, she'll die then.
– What shall we do?

We must build her a house.

– [ALL CHEER]
– I'm in charge!

[EXCITED CHATTER]

[♪ UPBEAT MELODY]

♪ Please stay with us and be our mum

– What?
– ♪ And read us stories one by one

There's been an awful misunderstanding.

– ♪ And wipe our tears when we cry
– No tissues.

♪ Please sing to us a lullaby

– ♪ Oh, please
– [♪ PETER ACCOMPANIES ON PIPES]

♪ Wendy

♪ Oh, please

♪ Wendy

– Hello, Wendy.
– Hello, Peter.

Stand back, you boys.
Now, who are you?

It's me, John. Remember?

– Who's the little one?
– I'm Michael.

– We flew out of the window together.
– Oh, John, Michael, Wendy!

Yes! Welcome!

– We are building a house for Wendy.
– Why? She's only a girl.

[ALL GASP]

What did you just say?

I said she's only a girl.

[LOST BOYS GASP, GROAN]

– Snake bite.
– Ow! Ow, ow, ow!

No, no! [SOBS]

Don't ever talk about girls
like that again.

(LAUGHTER)

– Let's get the roof on!
– [CHEERS, WHOOPS]

[EXCITED CHATTER

Now we can actually play
mummies and daddies!

PETER: Yes!
Let's play mummies and daddies!

– I'm daddy.
– ALL: Presents!

– [DEEP, SERIOUS VOICE] Hello, Mother.
– H-hello, Father.

[KNOCKING]

– Oh, there's somebody at the door.
– C-come in?

Ckk. Hello, Mother, we're the twins.

– We got you these hair dryers.
– For your beautiful hair!

Thank you.

– Come in.
– Hello, Mother.

Wendy, we're playing mummies and daddies
and I got you this oil

to make your butt smell nice.

(LAUGHTER)

Ooh.

Oh, lavender. My favourite!

– [KNOCKING]
– Come in.

Hello, Mother. My name is Nibs.

And this is my favourite telephone.

– Hello, Mother. Can you hear me?
– Yes, loud and...

Yes, loud and clear, thanks.

Call me.

– [KNOCKING]
– Come in.

Hello, Mother. I'm actually Curly.

I got you this story book
so you can read to us you're welcome.

Oh, I love thrillers!

[SPITEFUL] Hello, Wendy.

– Get out, John! Play the game!
– I am playing the game, Peter.

– Snake bite.
– All right, I'll play the game.

[KNOCKING]

Hello, Mother.

– I haven't said come in yet.
– [LOST BOYS LAUGH]

Come on!

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

Hello, Mother. I got you a gun.

– Agh!
– A gun? That's a gun, is it?

Mummy and Daddy are having a fight.
I love it!

[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]

– Come in!
– No.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My name's Tootles.

Hello, Tootles.
What have you brought me?

Oh. Hello.

[MUSIC GETS LOUDER]

♪ Please stay with us and be our mum

– Oh, you are all very sweet.
– ♪ And read us stories one by one

– Have any of you brushed your teeth?
– ♪ And wipe our tears when we cry

♪ You're actually a bit whiffy.
♪ Please sing to us a lullaby

♪ Oh, please

♪ Wendy

♪ Oh, please

♪ Wendy... ♪

Look, look. Would please,
please just all stop singing?

I can't be your mother.

TOOTLES: I just want you to be our mother!

And now you're saying you can't.

[CRYING] And it's not fair.

[ALL WAILING, CRYING]

All right, all right. Just please, please,
stop crying. Stop crying.

– I can't be your mother... But, but...
– [ALL WAIL]

..if you promise to call me
by my proper name,

– which is Wendy...
– Wendy!

..then I will at least read you a story!

ALL: Yay! Mother!

[EXCITED CHATTER]

PETER: Early night. Night, night.

– Good night, children.
– [TIGER LILY HOWLS]

No! [SNIFFS] That cocky little Peter Pan
has been here, on my patch.

Peter!

There's nowhere you can fly to.

I'm not flying anywhere, Tiger Lily.

There you are, you stupid little boy.

– Ooh!
– What is this?

– Ooh!
– What is this?

It's a house.
I built it for my new friend, Wendy.

Pff! It's rubbish.
I'm gonna smash it down!

Well, you are going to have
to smash me down first.

Woo! You wanna take me on?

I dare you to a death match!

I accept your challenge!

[♪ Band plays 'Misirlou']

PETER: Bow and arrow!

Come on!

PETER: Dance-off!

Pyow! Pyow! Pyow! Pyow!

(APPLAUSE)

PAUL: What are you doing, Wendy?

I'm hunting squirrels
to feed the Lost Boys, Peter.

but you seem to be awfully busy
playing with...

– Who's this?
– TIGER LILY: Who's this?

Get away! How rude!

– Would you like a wee bit of help here?
– Yes, please.

[CHUCKLES] Come on, I've got you.

– Yes, yes. I've got you.
– I've got you!

I've got you. Thank you.

[WENDY HOWLS]

[WOVES HOWLING]

Wolves!

Hey? You wanna come
and play with us some time?

Yes, please.

Right now, we're going to build
a massive bonfire!

Then let's go spy on the pirates.

[HOWLING]

Tiger Lily! We've just built that!

Wendy, come on. Let's go and find
some skulls and animal bones.

Come on.

– Peter?
– Yeah.

– How many adventures have you had?
– Oh, more than you can count.

How old are you, Peter?

I'm not sure. I'm very young.

I ran away the day I was born.
I ran away and I never went back.

[DISTANT HOWLING]

That's Tiger Lily's wolves.
They sound really unhappy.

No, no, that's not their unhappy howl.

– [HOWLING]
– That's the howl when they smell danger.

– Are you sure, Wendy?
– Yes, yes, yes.

– [WENDY HOWLS]
– [DISTANT HOWLS]

Yeah, Tiger Lily...

[HOWLS, GROWLS]
..has been...

[HOWLS]
..captured by...

– [DISTANT HOWLING CONTINUES]
– Rallypats?

Ri...pats?

– Pirates!
– Yes!

Dah! Well, we must rescue her at once!

Now, the pirates always take
their captives to Marooner's Rock.

That's where they drown them.

But the lagoon is a very dangerous place
for mortals at the turn of the moon.

Then we must cast our lives to fate,
Peter, for Tiger Lily is our friend.

So, I'm captain. You must follow
my instructions at all times.

– Oh, all right.
– Let's go.

[♪ GALLOPING RHYTHMS]

– JOHN: Hello, Wendy. Hello, Peter.
– MICHAEL: Wait for me!

– Why are we running?
– We're on a rescue mission.

– It's going to be very dangerous.
– Great!

– It's not a joke, John.
– Who are we rescuing?

Tiger Lily. The pirates are going
to drown her at Marooner's Rock.

We have to get there before sundown.
Look out! Biting spiders!

Oh, no! It's a giant slug!

ALL: Aaaaaggghhhh!

JOHN: Oh, no! It's all slimy!

– Let's wash it off in the waterfall!
– WENDY: Yes, yes!

Over here.

Don't look down.

– Don't look down.
– Don't look down!

– [♪ FADES]
– Look over there!

– What are they?
– Bobbing in the water.

– Mermaids!
– Follow me.

Come on.

[♪ HEAVENLY CHOIR]

– Coo-ee!
– [WHOOPING, GIGGLING]

Let's go, girls!

– [♪ RAUNCHY ROCK RIFF]
– [ALL SQUEAL, WHOOP]

♪ Hello, boys
Please come and play

♪ Hello, boys
Just for one day

♪ We'll make you smile
Maybe you'll just learn to like it

♪ Coo-eee, boys
Won't you come in?

♪ Coo-eee, boys
Just look at my fin

♪ Just for a while
We'll make you smile

♪ I could pretend to be your mummy

♪ I'll brush your hair
and stroke your tummy

♪ Why won't you

♪ Why don't you stay?

Coo-ee!

♪ Ooooo-oooo

♪ Ooooo-oooo. ♪

JOHN: Wow! Real mermaids!

(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)

They are the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen!

– MICHAEL: I wish we could play with them.
– Oh, look. It's Peter.

– [MERMAIDS SHOUT GREETINGS]
– PETER: Evening, mermaids.

– Haven't seen you for a while, Peter.
– Where you been, Peter?

– He's been, how do you say, all over.
– You get around, my little pretzel.

I don't have time to tell you.
It's a very long tale.

– [ALL SHRIEK WITH LAUGHTER]
– You are so naughty, Peter.

Who are your friends, Peter? Are you
coming for a swim? The water's lovely.

JOHN: Yeah, you bet. Here I come!

Wooo!

– Oh, hello, ladies.
– What's your name?

– I'm John.
– Hi, John.

– You're a very strong swimmer, John.
– Thank you very much.

MICHAEL: Ha-ha-ha, John.

MICHAEL: John. John!

– WENDY: John!
– [PIERCING WHISTLE]

[MERMAIDS SCREAM]

– [SPLUTTERING]
– What happened?

Mermaids are very beautiful
but very cruel creatures.

They like to lure little boys and girls
into the water and then drown them.

– Right, let's go home then.
– I told you, this is a dangerous place.

– [DISTANT FOG HORN]
– Pirates! Fly!

SMEE: Arrhh, there it is.

Marooner's Rock.

Your final resting place, Tiger Lily.

Let's get her on there quickly
and get out of here.

SMEE: What's the hurry, Starkey?
I quite like this spot.

[TIGER LILY HOWLS]

The spirits of dead sailors
haunt this rock.

– Everybody knows that.
– So they say.

I sometimes think that you can feel
their little fingers

grasping at your ankles,
as you dangle your feet in the water.

Well, let's get on with it
and get back to the ship.

This place gives me the willies.

I've always enjoyed our little chats,
Tiger Lily,

but I fear that this will be our last.

Ow! Oh, no, you don't.

This is what happens when you get caught
snooping about on our ship.

Soon, my dear,
you will be food for the fishes.

– Peter! Do something!
– STARKEY: What's that?

PETER: [MIMICS HOOK] Ahoy there,
you lubbers!

It's the captain.
She must be swimming out to us.

– What's the captain want?
– We've done exactly as you commanded.

– Tiger Lily is tied fast to the rock.
– PETER: Set her free.

Set her free, Captain?
But if we were to do that...

PETER: Set her free, I say,
or I'll plunge me hook in you!

– Yes, Captain.
– Do as she says, Starkey.

[GROANS, WHIMPERS, CHOKES]

[HOWLS]

[CLANG]

Captain, you must be exhausted.
It's over half a mile from the ship.

– Let me help you...
– No!

Oh, she's going.

[STRAINING]

Smee? [GASPING]

Smee...

– Smee!
– What's up, Captain?

The boys... [PANTING]

The boys...

The boys...
Hang on, let me just catch my breath.

The boys have found a mother!

– A mother?
– A mother?!

What is a mother, Captain?

Dost not know what a mother is, Starkey?

Ah, well, a mother is...

A mother... See, a mother is...

– [CLEARS THROAT]
– [BIRD CALLS]

Ah, there!

There is a lesson in mothers for you.

The nest must have fallen into the water.

– [SQUAWKS]
– Would that Neverbird desert her eggs?

O putrid, evil day!

If Peter Pan has found a mother,
how will I ever get to him?

I will never get to him!

– PETER: I will never get to him!
– CHILDREN: I will never get to him!

There's a very particular echo
in the lagoon tonight.

Oh, echo, why do you taunt me so?

PETER: Because you are a codfish.

– A codfish?
– A codfish...? A codfish...?

TIGER LILY: A codfish who's gonna get
battered when I get my hands on you!

Tiger Lily! Where is she, boys?

– We let her go, Captain.
– You let her go?

'Twas your orders, Captain.
You called to us to let her go.

Brimstone and gall, what cozening is this?
I gave no such ord...ers.

Oh, spirit that haunts the lagoon tonight,
who are you?

PETER: I am your echo.

– Echo... Echo...
– Have you no other name?

PETER: Yes! Can you guess?

No, I couldn't possibly.

– It's me! Peter Pan!
– Now we have him!

Take him, boys, dead or alive!

Yo!

[♪ POUNDING ROCK]

This is hardly a fair fight.

No, Peter. Not to be trusted!

Not to be trusted!

Agh!

[TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...]

[SCREAMS]

[TICKING CONTINUES]

– WENDY: John...
– (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

John, Michael, Tiger Lily,
scramble up the rocks and get out of here.

– What about you?
– I'm going to stay with Peter.

– OK, be careful.
– [TIGER LILY HOWLS]

WENDY: We should get back to shore.

– Yes, we should.
– Shall we swim or fly?

Wendy, do you think that you could swim
or fly to the island without my help?

No, I'm too tired.

– I'm wounded.
– Peter?

– Oh, Peter.
– Agh!

– The water is rising.
– Yes.

– So we shall both be drowned.
– I fear...

Wendy, look! Look!

It's Michael's kite!

Well, that could carry both of us
back to the shore.

No, it couldn't carry both of us,
but it could carry one of us.

Then you must go, Peter,
you're the one who is wounded.

No, Wendy, you must go.
So, hold on tight.

– No. I won't go without you.
– And don't let go.

– Peter, I won't leave you, don't...
– [WIND BLOWS]

– No!
– Hold on tight.

– That's it.
– Peter! No! No, Peter!

Peter! [SOBBING]

[♪ HEAVENLY CHOIR]

Peter was alone at last.

Soon the rock would be submerged.

And by and by there could be heard
the melancholic music of the mermaids

calling to the moon.

[SINGING WITH THE MERMAIDS]

Peter was not quite like other boys.

But he was afraid at last.

A tremor passed through him,
like a shudder over the water.

But on the water one shudder follows
another till there are hundreds.

With Peter, there was only one!

[♪ BUILDING]

And soon he was on his feet again.

With that smile on his face.

The drum beating inside of him.

And it was saying...

It was saying...

To die will be an awfully big adventure.

(CHEERS, APPLAUSE, WHISTLES)

(HUM OF EXCITED VOICES)

[TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...]

[TICKING FADES]

[REPLACED BY RAPID
ELECTRONIC BEATS]

♪ Minutes like arrows hours become

♪ Too many moons, scorched by the sun

♪ Once I was youthful, I too had wings

♪ All that I wanted were childlike things

♪ Peter

♪ Peter

♪ The hands spin like scythes
The face laughs and leers

♪ I'm drowning in seconds
and minutes and years

♪ Shadows they clothe me
Like parchment my skin

♪ All your subtractions tattooed within

♪ Peter

♪ Peter

♪ Now I am bitter, broken with badness

♪ Now I am darkness, twisted with madness

♪ I am brutality,
I am battered, I am blood

♪ And I will break you

♪ Peter

♪ Peter

♪ Anchors and serpents
I will wrap around your ankles

♪ And your milk teeth
I'll make into jewels

♪ You'll adorn me
I'll pierce your sweet body

♪ Like a fish on my hook

♪ And you'll hang like a worm
And it won't be a game that will end

♪ You will know
that there's no more pretend

♪ When your heart breaks like mine
And you hear... ♪

[TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...]

[ROARS] Find their den, Smee!

This time, it's Pan or me.

– [SONAR BEEPING]
– SMEE: You heard the captain.

Playtime is over for the Lost Boys.

Operation 'Root Out And Destroy' is go.

[SONAR BEEPING]

Cuddly bunny found
in the northeast quarter.

Space hopper tracks
on the beach by the lagoon.

Suspect secret hideout is underground,
repeat underground.

Ah!

And a trail of sherbet lemons leads us
all the way... to the old quarry.

The captain will be delighted.

WENDY: The waves were crashing
against Marooner's Rock.

The wound in Father's chest
was gushing with blood

and he was growing pale as death.

But he wasn't afraid.

– To die...
– ..would be an awfully big adventure.

The black waters of the lagoon
were rising slowly to his neck.

Dark, blubbery creatures were slithing
from the fathomless depths,

circling the rock ready to devour Peter,
snapping at his toes.

And it was then that good fortune
made her intervention.

A magnificent Neverbird...

ALL: A Neverbird!

..whose nest had fallen into the rocky
waves heard Peter's desperate cries.

MICHAEL: Save me! Save me!

WENDY: She steered her way
against the rushing tide,

her tail moving as a rudder,
and moored her nest against the rock.

– She called out to Peter...
– Get in the nest, Peter!

The water's rising.

Peter was too tired,
so she shook her beak at him and cried...

Peter! Get in the nest or you'll drown!

So, with his last trace of strength,
Peter threw himself from the rock

and tumbled into her warm, comfortable
nest, lined with feathers and moss.

They drifted on the waves and circled
the lagoon for a night and a day,

until the nest washed up upon the shore,

where Peter hauled himself up
onto the rocks

and crawled all the way back
across the island,

until he reached the loving bosom of his
family where, safe at last, he cried...

– [HORN BLASTS]
– LOST BOYS: Father!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

ALL: Oh the cleverness of me!

– Hello, Father.
– Yes! I love this game.

[SERIOUSLY] Hello, Mother.

So, how have the children been today?

Oh, well, they've been
deliciously naughty as ever.

Did you have a terribly difficult day
at the office, dear?

I had a terribly difficult day
at the office, darling.

I was out hunting with the Twins.

– [PARP]
– Did you catch anything?

I did. I caught an orange
spotty-liffy-doctipus.

So I ripped it's head off
and brought it home as a trophy!

[ALL CHEER]

TWINS: Incoming. Incoming.
Permission to land? Over.

ALL: Permission granted.

– Ckk. What's for supper, Mother?
– Ckk. We're starving, over.

– Yes, I'm really hungry.
– I'm actually famished...

WENDY: Don't all crowd me.
Don't all crowd me all at once.

If you make your way to the table,
I will take your orders.

CURLY: I would actually like fishfinger
sandwiches with hundreds and thousands.

– Ckk. Creamy chicken thing.
– With Jelly Babies, over.

– Ice cream on toast.
– Pasta and banana.

– Sausages and jam.
– Baked beans and chocolate fingers!

– Vanilla fudge masala!
– Roast potato custard!

– Potato smiley faces!
– Mud patty.

A nice piece of fruit from the fruit bowl.

That has been used to create
a delicious banoffee pie.

LOST BOYS: Ooooh!

Now, sit up nicely at the table.

Tuck your napkins in.

Elbows off the table

and tuck in.

♪ Fishfinger sandwiches,
fishfinger sandwiches

♪ Fishfinger sandwiches,
fishfinger sandwiches

♪ Ooooooh, yummy, yummy, yummy

– ♪ With cheese
– My compliments to the chef!

♪ Creamy chicken thing,
creamy chicken thing

♪ Creamy chicken thing,
creamy chicken thing

♪ Oooh, with mushrooms too

♪ Roast beef and ketchup
Jam and ham sandwiches

♪ Chips and marmalade
Custard freshly made

♪ Fizzy pop and spotted dick... ♪

You know, Mother, I think we should
be setting a good example

and giving our children healthy
and nutritious food.

Just because it's healthy and nutritious
doesn't mean it has to be boring.

It could be pink and fishy
just like this...

♪ Taramasalata, taramasalata
Taramasalata, taramasalata

♪ Ooooooh, yummy, yummy, yummy

– ♪ With cucumber
– Cucumber's actually mostly water.

♪ Crispy curly kale, crispy curly kale
Crispy curly kale, crispy curly kale

♪ Ooh, with bean sprouts, too

♪ Quinoa protein bar
Gluten free pastry

♪ Vegan carob slice
Mung beans peas and rice

♪ Carrot juice and hummus dip... ♪

No, no, I'm afraid the children become
disgracefully insubordinate

No, no, I'm afraid the children become
disgracefully insubordinate

whenever they're not given
exactly what they want to eat.

I am going to have to reintroduce
a diet of high carbohydrate,

high sugar with immediate effect.

ALL: Yes!

♪ Pancake lemon pie, pancake lemon pie
Pancake lemon pie, pancake lemon pie

♪ Ooh, yummy, yummy, yummy
With crisps

Prawn cocktail's actually
the best flavour.

♪ Gooey chocolate muffin, gooey chocolate
muffin, gooey chocolate muffin

♪ Ooh, with gravy, too

♪ Hot dogs and strudels
Jelly and noodles

♪ Toffee pizza cake
Chocolate burger bake

– ♪ Cheesy puff and Jammie Dodger
– John actually just spat in my food!

Curly didn't eat his ice cream. Actually!

– Father stole my fishfinger!
– It was my fishfinger in the first place!

– But you took it from our plate.
– Horseradish!

[ALL ARGUING AT ONCE]

[PARP]

Right, if you have all finished,
you may get down from the table

and go and sit nicely by the fire
until bed time.

Oh, Father, isn't this lovely?

All of our wonderful family all together.

Pretty as a picture.

I know, I should take a photograph!

[ALL AGREE]

Lovely. Ready?

Three... Two... One...

Cheese!

[ALL MOAN AND LAUGH]

CURLY: I've actually burnt my retina.

I love cosy night!

No, hang on a minute.

It's not cosy night, is it?
What night is it?

– Saturday night!
– And Saturday night is dancing night!

[♪ FUNKY TUNE]

♪ Oooooh

♪ Saturday night, Saturday night

♪ Saturday night, Saturday night ♪

Ckk. And that was 'Saturday Night'
by pop sensation Wet Denim.

Ckk. Now we're gonna slow it down a bit,
so grab yourself a partner.

Here's one for all you lovers out there.
Over.

– [♪ Intro to 'Close To You']
– NIBS: Are you going to dance, Father?

No, Nibs, I have to read newspapers.

CURLY: I'm sure you'd like to dance,
Mother?

No, no.
I haven't got the right knickers on.

No, no... I mean...

Well, I suppose
we could always give it try.

PETER: I suppose
we could always give it a try.

– Well, I will if you will.
– Well, I will if you will.

– Well, I will if you will if I will...
– Well, if you want to...

NIBS: Oh, just get on with it!

JOHN: ♪ Why do birds suddenly appear?

♪ Every time you are near?

♪ Just like me, they long to be
Close to you

♪ Why do stars fall down from the sky

♪ Every time you walk by?

♪ Just like me, they long to be
Close to you

♪ On the day that you were born
the angels got together

♪ And decided to create
a dream come true

♪ So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair
Of golden starlight in your eyes of blue

♪ That is why all the girls in town

♪ Follow you all around

♪ Just like me, they long to be
Close to you

♪ That is why all the girls in town

♪ Follow you all around

– ♪ Just like me, they long to be
– (APPLAUSE)

♪ Close to you

♪ A-aaaaah

♪ Close to you

♪ A-aaaaah

♪ Close to you

♪ A-aaaaah

♪ Close to you

♪ A-aaaaah

♪ Close to you. ♪

(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)

Do you know, I haven't danced like that
for... 79 years.

Yes. Not bad for a couple of old timers.

I must rest my weary old bones
by the fire.

– Father?
– Yes.

I know that after the children I'm not
quite as springy as I used to be and...

(LAUGHTER)

..well, it may be that in some ways
I'm a little past my best, but...

..well, you wouldn't want to change me,
would you?

No, darling.

– Are we still playing the game, Wendy?
– (LAUGHTER)

It's sort of a game Peter.

It's only pretend.

But they really are our children, Peter,
yours and mine.

No, they're not. I'm not their father.
You're not their mother.

If I was their father,
I would have to be a grown-up,

and I don't ever want to be a grown-up.

I always just want to be a little boy
and just have fun.

– Play the game, Wendy.
– Peter?

What are your true feelings for me?

Tiger Lily does this.

And Tinker Bell, too,
just when we are having the best fun.

And I don't suppose
you have any idea why, do you?

Perhaps they want to be my mother.

No, of course they don't want to be
your mother, you silly boy.

– What is it that they want?
– There's no point in explaining to you.

Because you just wouldn't understand.

WENDY: Now, come on everyone, wake up.

– Let's have a story.
– NIBS: What story shall we have?

WENDY: I think we should have
your favourite story.

PETER: No, Wendy, please.
I hate that story.

Then you can just cover your ears,
like you usually do.

There was once a very nice lady.

– SLIGHTLY: There's a lady in the story.
– TOOTLES: She isn't dead, is she?

– No, no.
– I'm very glad of that.

– Are you glad, Michael?
– I'm very glad.

There was also a very nice gentleman.

Their names were Mr and Mrs Darling.

– JOHN: I think I've heard of them.
– WENDY: They were married.

– And what do you think they had?
– Oh, oh! White rats.

WENDY: They had three children
and a faithful nurse called Nana.

Now, one night, Mr Darling was very angry
and he chained Nana up in the yard,

and all the children flew away
out of the open window

past the moon and the stars

until they reached a magic land
where they met the Lost Boys.

– Is one of them called Tootles, Wendy?
– Yes, he is.

Yes! I'm in the story.
Nibs, I'm in the story.

– NIBS: I want to be in the story!
– Yes, yes. You are all in the story.

Now, they lived with the Lost Boys
for many, many moons,

and they had such a lovely time.

But think...

think for a moment
about the poor, unhappy parents.

– LOST BOYS: Oh.
– Left at home with the empty beds.

– LOST BOYS: Awwww.
– WENDY: Their hearts broken.

Ckk. It's a very sad story.

Ckk. I don't think I'll be happy
when it's over. Over.

CURLY: I'm actually feeling very anxious.

If you knew how great was a mother's love
then you wouldn't feel anxious.

– SLIGHTLY: I do like a mother's love.
– [PETER GROANS]

WENDY: One day, the children all flew back
to their old house

and the window was still open.

And they threw their arms around
the huddled figures.

And their parents leapt for joy,
and they all danced

And their parents leapt for joy,
and they all danced

and they sang and they ate chocolate
pudding until they were sick.

And they all lived happily...

– LOST BOYS: ..ever after.
– Agh!

Is something the matter, Peter?

You're wrong about mothers, Wendy.

I had a mother once.

I had a nice warm bed
and a nice soft blanket.

The window was open
and I went out for a little fly.

I was flying amongst the clouds
and the birds

and when I wanted to go back to my nice
warm bed and my nice soft blanket,

the window was closed and it was barred!

And there was another little boy
sleeping in my bed.

– Mothers do not leave the window open.
– WENDY: Yes, they do.

You are wrong about mothers.

– MICHAEL: Wendy, I want to go home.
– JOHN: Yes. I want to go home, too.

Yes, it's all right.
Collect your things, we're going home.

CURLY: You can't leave, Mother.
We actually need you.

– Don't leave us.
– We won't let you.

– We'll tie you up.
– Yes...

No! Leave her alone, all of you!

If she wants to go then she can go.

And if any of you try to stop her...

I'll kill you. Understand?

Thank you, Tootles.

That was very brave.

Now, look, if any of you
would like to come with us...

then I feel sure that I could get
my parents to adopt you all.

– Wouldn't we be rather a handful?
– No, of course not.

I can't promise
that you'll all have your own bed,

but you each will at least
have your own pillow.

Nibs and Curly can sleep in our bed.

– Yes, and everyone can share my blanket.
– Peter, shall we go?

Yes! Twins, find Tiger Lily.

She'll take you to the edge of the island.

Tinker Bell will take you
the rest of the way to the mainland.

WENDY: Now, collect things
that you'd like to take with you.

No, no. Just small things.

Now, you must all take your medicine
before we leave.

ALL: Eugh!

Peter, collect your things.

– I'm not coming.
– WENDY: We'll find your mother.

No.

Peter isn't coming.

PETER: And if you find your mothers,
I hope you like them.

WENDY: In that case, I must advise you

never to go without a boiled egg
in the morning.

And to wash your flannel
on a regular basis.

And to make sure that you take
your medicine every single day.

[PARP]

ALL: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

– Bye!
– Bye, Peter. Bye!

Goodbye, Peter.

[♪ DRAMATIC, MELANCHOLIC CHORD]

♪ Suddenly, I'm getting older

♪ Suddenly, life is much colder

♪ How could I lose
This game I didn't choose?

♪ Choose... choose... choose

– ♪ Oh, Peter, Peter
– ♪ Hear my cry

– ♪ Oh, Peter, Peter
– ♪ Hear my cry

♪ Hear my cry

♪ Suddenly, I'm getting older

♪ Suddenly, Neverland's colder

♪ How could I lose
This game I didn't choose?

♪ Choose... Choose... Choose

– ♪ Oh, Peter, Peter
– ♪ Hear my cry

– ♪ Oh, Peter, Peter
– ♪ Hear my cry

– ♪ Oh, Peter, Peter
– ♪ Hear my cry

– ♪ Oh, Peter, Peter
– ♪ Hear my cry

♪ Oh, please, Wendy

♪ It's not too late

♪ Oh, please
Oh, Wendy

♪ I wish that you were here

♪ I wish that you would stay
Be with me every day

♪ Oh, please
Oh, Wendy

♪ Oh, please
Oh, Wendy

♪ Oh, please
Oh, Wendy

♪ Oh, please
Oh, Wendy

♪ Peter... Peter... Peter. ♪

HOOK: Get 'em, Smee!

All my chickens all tied up.

Oh, and here is the mother hen.

How terribly rude of me.
I've not even introduced myself.

Good evening, my name is Mr Smee.

I am delighted to make your acquaintance.

– I'm sorry I can't return the compliment.
– You've hurt my feelings.

The captain,
she won't like that one little bit.

Perhaps she will kill you all.

– Take them away!
– [ALL SCREAM]

LOST BOYS: No, no, no, no, no....

HOOK: ♪ Oh, Peter Pan! ♪

♪ Sound asleep! ♪

Look at you...

there...

all snuggled up in your little blanket.

So serene, so... so scrummy.

I could eat you.

Oh, Peter, we've had fun, haven't we?

Do you remember Skull Rock? The ambush?

When I was all... Agh!
and you were... Oh!

Good times.

It's a shame it should end, really.

Still, nothing lasts forever, does it?

Always in the silence of the night
you hear the tick-tock

and you know the end is coming.

What do you care, huh?

With your smug little grin, those pesky
milk teeth glinting in the moonlight.

Even your sleep is cocky!

Oh, what do we here?

Peter, Peter...

may I leave you a parting gift?

[LAUGHS]

Peter, er, be sure to drink up
all of your medicine.

Good night, Peter Pan.

O noo!

O noo.

Peta. Peta. No snoozle.

Peta. Peta. Wek!

Tinker Bell? What are you doing here?
I wasn't asleep.

Tinker Bell? What are you doing here?
I wasn't asleep.

O noo. Hook!
Ticky tocky ticky tocky ticky tocky.

– What about her?
– Chunka she bore!

Meganna Losty Bys! Cannit Cannit, whoosh!

– Hook kidnapped Wendy and the Lost Boys?
– Prettie puva.

– We must rescue them at once!
– ♪ La-la la! ♪

But first, I must take my medicine!

O noo.

Tink, give it back to me.

Tinker Bell, we don't have time for this.

Tink.

– Hey, Tink, nak a mee meddygayth!
– [ANSWERS IDLY]

BOTH: ♪ Twinkle twinkle little...

– O noo.
– Give it to me. Tink, let go of it.

Please, just let... Tink, it's mine...

Ha!

O nooo.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh!

– Petrid!
– That's poison.

It's petrid.

Copie Hook.

O nooo.

Peta.

Uh wuh woo.

Uh wuh... Agh.

O nooo.

Peta.

Uh wuh woo.

♪ Twinkle twinkle...

Oh! O nooo.

Uh wuh woo.

Me morta.

Uh wuh woo, Peta.

Oh, please don't die, Tink.

I believe in fairies.

And I know, Tink, that there are
still children in this world...

who believe in fairies.

Probably a few grown-ups, too.

And right at this moment, they're all
clapping their little hands like this...

(APPLAUSE)

– Tinker Bell, can you hear that?
– (APPLAUSE)

– Louder!
– (CHEERS, APPLAUSE)

Tinker Bell!
Yes!

Come on, Tink.

Come on.

– Yeah. Come on, Tink!
– (APPLAUSE CONTINUING)

Come on. Come on.

(HUGE CHEER)

Uh wuh woo! Uh wuh woo! Uh wuh woo!

Timble. Timble.

Tinker Bell.

– Don't ever do anything like that again!
– O nooo.

Come on! Let's go and rescue Wendy
and the Lost Boys.

♪ La-la la! ♪

[♪ SINISTER, DISCORDANT TONES SWELL]

[HOOK CACKLING]

♪ Yo ho

♪ Yo ho!

♪ The frisky plank

♪ You walks along it so

♪ Till it goes down

♪ And you go down

♪ To Davey Jones below ♪

It. Is. Done!

[CACKLING]

Smee, bring up the little mother.

Of course, Captain.

[BOAT CREAKING]

How still the night is.

Nothing sounds alive.

Now is the hour when children
in their homes are a-bed,

their lips bright-browned
with a good-night chocolate.

Their tongues drowsily searching
for belated crumbs

hung insecurely on their shining cheeks.

Compare them with Peter Pan,

er... now just a little lonely dead boy!

It is my hour of triumph!

SMEE: Up you come, little mother.

Watch the top step, it's a bit tricky.

HOOK: Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Welcome aboard the Jolly Roger.

Here, please sit down.
Let's have some tea.

I'll be mother.

How are the little ones?
Getting some rest, I hope.

After all, it's a big day for them.

Walk-the-plank day.

It must be simply awful
to be as lonely as you.

Lonely? Er... I am surrounded by a crew of
obedient dogs who will do anything I say.

They obey you,
but they don't really love you.

My name is known throughout the world.
Of course I'm loved.

If my mother were here, she'd soon
put a stop to all your nonsense.

What you need is a jolly good bath!

And to be put to bed
and read a really good story

and then all your nightmares
would fly away like little birds,

back to where they came from.

I suppose they'd all end
'happily ever after', would they?

Is that the kind of stories you like?

– What other kind of story is there?
– Oh, you are so young!

And you are so innocent.

You are about to embark upon your final
chapter, entitled 'Wendy walks the plank'.

If you think that Peter will
leave us here to die

then you are in for a very rude awakening.

Peter? Peter? I don't know no Peter.
Oh, Peter Pan? Oh, yes.

Oh, Peter Pan is dead, quite dead!

Bring out the Lost Boys!

– Come on.
– No, please don't hurt them.

– Don't hurt them, please.
– [LOST BOYS CRYING, WHIMPERING]

Silence!

All of you miserable children
are going to walk the plank today.

– [ALL MOAN]
– Except one.

I'm in need of a new cabin boy.
My last one caught something rather nasty.

Caught on something rather nasty.
I'm saying I killed him with my hook.

You boy, you there!
Would you like to join our gang?

TOOTLES: I don't think my mother would be
very happy if I became a pirate.

What do you think, Curly?

CURLY: I actually think she'd be really
disappointed. What do you think, Nibs?

– NIBS: Yeah, my mother would hate it...
– HOOK: Stow your gab! You there!

You with the stuffed carnivore.

You look like you've got
a bit of pluck. Will you join us?

What will you call me if I joined?

HOOK: Barnacle McGee.

Barnacle McGee? Would I be able
to visit home for the holidays?

There are no holidays
and this ship would be your home.

– MICHAEL: What do you think, John?
– HOOK: Yeah, John, what do you think?

JOHN: Will I be able
to see my mother again?

I will be your mother
and you can see me whenever you like.

– JOHN: Then I refuse.
– Then I refuse!

– ALL: Then I refuse!
– Then you will all die.

Starting with...

– ..this one!
– ALL: No! No!

Silence pray for a mother's last words
to her children.

Be brave, boys.

And remember,
your mothers always loved you.

Is that it?

It's a little disappointing.

Now I've lost my train of thought.
What happens next, anybody?

Anybody? What you say?

You walky the planky, walky the planky,
walky the plank?

WALK. THE. PLANK!

[CACKLES] You see, there's none
can save you now, missy!

– PETER: There is one!
– WENDY: Peter!

– HOOK: Peter Pan! Alive?
– You let her go, Hook!

This is between the two of us.

– (APPLAUSE)
– Proud and insolent boy!

Prepare to meet thy doom.

Dark and sinister woman,
say your farewells.

Dark and sinister woman,
say your farewells.

Pirates! Tear them to pieces!
Kill them all!

[♪ POUNDING ROCK]

I'll get you! I will get you!

– Cock-a-doodle-doo!
– Oh, the cleverness of me!

(APPLAUSE)

So, what are we going
to do with her, boys?

ALL: Walk the plank!

Walk the plank! Walk the plank!

Walk the plank! Walk the plank!

Walk the plank! Walk the plank!

– Walk the plank...
– Agh!

Agh!

Stand back, you pewling spawn!

I am the greatest pirate that ever lived.

You think I'm going to be sent to my death
by a bunch of whining children?

[TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK]

HOOK: Oh, no.

[TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...]

Oh, no.

It is you who has come

to show me the road to my dusty death.

It is time.

[TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...]

I care for no one on Earth.

And no one cares for me.

But one thing I do know –

the basest of all things is to be afraid.

Hello, old friend.

Fear will not stifle me.

I am ready to depart.

[CHEERING]

♪ We are the Lost Boys
we live in Neverland

♪ We got here some time ago
we fell out of our prams

♪ We are the Lost Boys, brave soldiers all

♪ Ready to do battle
when we hear our captain call

♪ We are the Lost Boys,
best of friends to some

♪ We're as tough as leather
and we're off to see our mums

♪ We're off to see our mums
We're off to see our mums

♪ We're off to see our mums ♪

Boys, set a course for the mainland.

– Aye-aye, Captain.
– Second to the right...

ALL: ..and straight on till morning!

♪ We are the Lost Boys
we live in Neverland

♪ We got here some time ago
we fell out of our prams

♪ We are the Lost Boys, brave soldiers all

♪ Ready to do battle
when we hear our captain call

♪ We are the Lost Boys,
best of friends to some

♪ We're as tough as leather
and we're off to see our mums

♪ We're off to see our mums
We're off to see our mums

♪ We're off to see our mums! ♪

[WHOOPING, CHEERING]

When I say lost, you say boys!

– Lost!
– Boys!

– Lost!
– Boys!

[CHEERS, WHOOPS]

(APPLAUSE)

[SOBBING]

I blame myself, George.
I should never have left them alone.

– What was I thinking?
– No, no, I am responsible for it all.

I, George Darling, did it.

I chained Nana up the yard
all because of that stupid medicine.

Mea culpa, Mary.

Mea culpa.

John, I think I've been here before.

Of course you have, silly.

Look, there's our old bed.

Hang on, there's people in it!

It's Father... and Mother.

JOHN: Oh, so it is.

MICHAEL: So, Wendy,
you weren't really our mum then?

WENDY: No.

– Mother?
– [MUMBLES] Oh, Wendy, there you are.

– Mother.
– And John!

– Mother!
– Michael.

– Father!
– Mother!

– CHILDREN: We're home!
– George, wake up.

George, wake up!
Our darlings have returned!

[SHRIEKING, CRYING]

TOOTLES: Wendy, we can't hold on
to the drainpipe much longer.

WENDY: Oh! Oh, yes, Tootles.
Come in, everyone.

No, no, it's all right, Mother.

It's just a few motherless boys
that we've brought back with us.

Yes. Mother, Father,
these are our new friends.

Tootles, Curly, the twins, Alright,
Poo, Laggy, Drizzle and Mush.

Please?

Please say you'll have them.

FATHER: I must say, Wendy,
you don't do things by halves.

TOOTLES: You don't think
we'd be too much of a handful, sir?

– CURLY: If so, we can actually go away.
– NIBS: Or sleep doubled up.

– [ALL CHATTER]
– Of course we'll have you!

– Won't we, George?
– Of course we will.

You can all sleep in the drawing room,
if you'll fit in.

We'll fit in.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

We don't actually have a drawing room,
but we pretend we do

and it is much the same thing.

So, who is for some chocolate pudding?

In that case, follow the leader!

Woo!

– Woo!
– Woo!

(APPLAUSE)

PETER: Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Hello, Wendy.

Hello, Peter.

Goodbye, Wendy.

You don't have to go, you know.

Hello, Peter.

Why don't you come in?
You could join our family.

Would you send me to school?

MRS DARLING: Er... yes?

And then to an office?

– I suppose so.
– And then I should become a man?

Very soon.

[SCOFFS] No way, lady!

Nobody is going to catch me and send me
to school and make me learn solemn things.

What if I was to wake up one morning
and I'd grown a beard?

What if I was to wake up one morning
and I'd grown a beard?

Oh, Peter, I should love you in a beard.

Come, come with me.

– Mother, may I?
– Absolutely not. I've just had you back.

– I will not let you go again
– But he does so need a mother.

So do you, my dear.

So do you.

Goodbye, Wendy.
And remember – always be waiting.

Goodbye, Peter.

Don't forget.

And the last words that he ever said to me
were 'Always be waiting'.

Which of course was complete nonsense,
because he promptly forgot all about me.

– Now, come on, Jane. It's bed time.
– But, Mother!

Why didn't you just fly off and visit him?

Because I can't.
I've forgotten how to fly.

But why have you forgotten?

Because I'm not young
and innocent and heartless.

You have to be young and innocent
and heartless to be able to fly.

I wish I was young
and innocent and heartless!

Mother, what did Peter's crow sound like?

I think it sounded something like this...

Um...
[LIGHTLY] Cock-a-doodle-doo!

No, it didn't. It sounds like this.

[WITH ENERGY] Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Oh, the cleverness of me!

How do you know that?

I hear it sometimes when I'm sleeping.

Many girls hear it in their dreams.

But I was the only one to hear it awake.

– Lucky you!
– [CHUCKLES] Now, come on... No!

– It is long past your bed time.
– But Mother, I'm not tired.

Well, that is just tough luck.

♪ It's not too late

♪ Take these wings and fly

♪ Away to your home

♪ It's not too late

♪ Take these dreams and see

♪ Away to your home ♪

PETER: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Hello, Wendy.

– Peter?
– Where is John?

John isn't here.

– Is Michael asleep?
– This isn't Michael.

– Is it a new one?
– Yes.

– Boy or a girl?
– A girl.

– Ha! And do you like her?
– Yes.

Peter, you haven't come to ask me
to fly away with you, have you?

Yes, come on. I'm captain.

I can't, Peter. I've forgotten how to fly.

– What wrong?
– I'll turn on the light.

No, don't turn on the light.

– I'll turn on the light.
– Don't turn on the light.

– Then you can see for yourself.
– Don't turn on the...

I grew up.

You promised not to!

I did it long ago.

And I wanted to.

– And now I have a child.
– Oh, no, you don't.

Yes, I do.
The little girl in the bed is my baby.

– No, she isn't.
– Yes, she is.

What does she call you?

Mother.

[SOBBING]

Peter.

– Oh, Peter.
– Boy!

– Why are you crying?
– I wasn't crying.

It looked like you were crying.

– What's your name?
– Jane.

– I'm Peter Pan.
– Yes, I know. I've been waiting for you.

– Come and fly with me.
– If you'll teach me how to fly, Peter.

I've been practising, but...

– No.
– I can't quite do it yet.

All you have to do is just think
of a wonderful thought in your head.

And put your shoes on.

And you will need... fairy string.

– Fairy string? What's that?
– It's... Tinker Bell's secret.

Now, the wonderful thought in your head
will help to lift you off the ground!

Mother, watch this!

– [SCREAMS]
– Good.

Mum, look! I'm flying!

Now, try this.

Wa-ha-hay!

Easy.

Oh, the cleverness of me!

Oh, the cockiness of you.

Woo-hoo-hoo!
So, try this.

Get back. Ready?

And out.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Jane?

The window

will always be

open!

[♪ STIRRING THEME]

(APPLAUSE, CHEERS)

(CHEERS, APPLAUSE, WHISTLES)