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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:13,180 [waves crashing] 2 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,630 [THEME SONG - "HAIL TO THE MUSKRATS"] 3 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:39,640 THEME SONG: Hail to the Muskrats! 4 00:00:39,770 --> 00:00:43,470 The mighty, mighty Muskrats. 5 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:44,560 ERNEST: How ya doing? 6 00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:45,860 THEME SONG: Hail to the Muskrats. 7 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,690 The mighty, mighty, daunting muskrats, 8 00:00:48,820 --> 00:00:52,700 Someday the Muskrats prevail. 9 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:56,220 Here the might warrior goes, to the C, to the Chickasaw-- 10 00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:58,660 Come on, ladies, put a little effort into it. 11 00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:09,110 THEME SONG: Chickadee [inaudible] 12 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,590 [shouts] 13 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,070 [SHAKILY] Whoa! 14 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,070 [band plays off key] 15 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,520 [groans] 16 00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:43,970 OK, girls, hit the showers. 17 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,660 TEAM: Yeah! 18 00:01:45,790 --> 00:01:49,450 THEME SONG: Hail to the Muskrats. 19 00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:50,930 Hail to the Muskrats. 20 00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:57,940 Hail to the Muskrats they do what all they do the Muskrats. 21 00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:01,900 Cheer for the Muskrats, we're for the Muskrats. 22 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:05,380 Hail to the Muskrats! 23 00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:06,860 Wah! 24 00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:08,380 Ow! 25 00:02:08,510 --> 00:02:09,380 Ooch ow! 26 00:02:09,510 --> 00:02:10,860 Ow, ow! Ow! 27 00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:11,820 Ow ow. 28 00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:18,870 Ooh, Oh ow. 29 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:24,180 Can anyone [inaudible] I need help. 30 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:28,050 [inaudible] 31 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,670 Way to hustle out there Cardell. 32 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,060 Good hit, Raymond. 33 00:02:33,190 --> 00:02:36,320 Fane, Fane, Fane, you gotta use both hands when you punt. 34 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,720 Spinx, you've got to keep your eyes open. 35 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,640 You're not seeing your secondary receiver. 36 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:47,030 [laughs] 37 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,810 I must be doing something right, tomato head. 38 00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:50,820 We haven't lost a game this year. 39 00:02:50,950 --> 00:02:52,560 Yeah, but-- 40 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:55,820 And if we win next week, we'll be in the district finals. 41 00:02:55,950 --> 00:03:01,220 So when I want your advice, I'll rattle your cage. 42 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,700 I was just trying to give you the benefit 43 00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:04,660 of my vast years of experience. 44 00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:08,790 And open my giant storehouse of football savvy, know I mean? 45 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,490 If you'd like later I could give you some pointers. 46 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:12,400 No. 47 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,630 Yeah, a football field is 100 yards long, 48 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,630 but it's a game of inches, of mere inches. 49 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,890 Plus football ain't a sport, football is a art. 50 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,770 And it's all in the fundamentals, 51 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,940 like blocking and tackling. 52 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:32,940 Suppose I had this little problem to tackle. 53 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,640 [water drips] 54 00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:39,520 What I need to do is block it. 55 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,820 Then we put the hammer down. 56 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,090 And hold that line. 57 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,750 Yep, the right tool for the right job 58 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,670 and a firm belief in the fundamentals. 59 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,020 Yeah, I remember that cold rainy night when coach Brasswell 60 00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:11,070 walked up to the bench I was warming and says, [DEEP VOICE] 61 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,290 Crazy Legs, what we need is a miracle. 62 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,770 Yeah, Coach Brasswell always knew who to call on when there 63 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,290 was a tough job to be done. 64 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:01,080 Crazy, he'd say, he always called me Crazy-- 65 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,000 [screams] 66 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,940 [laughs] 67 00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:39,940 [pipes creak] 68 00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:40,940 Huh? 69 00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:43,470 Uh. 70 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,420 Oh! 71 00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:47,910 Oh, uh. 72 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,910 [screams] 73 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:06,880 [wails] 74 00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:12,370 [music - "hail to the muskrats"] 75 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,160 RODNEY [ON PA]: Good morning, Chickasaw Falls. 76 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:28,770 Hello, Muskrats. 77 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:31,080 The question of the day is who put the snake 78 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,080 in Karen Turpin's locker? 79 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:35,000 And where is that snake now? 80 00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:36,390 Oh my god, it's huge! 81 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,000 [hissing] 82 00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:41,000 Can Rodney escape the hideous clutches of the reptile? 83 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,700 Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion 84 00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:45,400 of Rodney, King of the Jungle. 85 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,970 [monkey screech] 86 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:50,190 Chickasaw Falls High School is the glue that holds 87 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,270 our entire community together. 88 00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:55,320 Closing it down now would be a fatal blow to the town. 89 00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:58,720 I answer to the taxpayers of the entire district. 90 00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:02,810 And the only way to cut costs is to consolidate the 91 00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:05,110 obsolete schools like this one. 92 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,200 I realize the building needs work. 93 00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:10,680 But our students and our faculty are second to none. 94 00:07:10,810 --> 00:07:12,560 Let's cut to the chase here. 95 00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:14,250 The board is giving you a four week 96 00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:16,390 probation period to see if there's anything worth saving. 97 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,740 And personally, I don't see it. 98 00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:20,130 Really? 99 00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:21,780 I think you'll be surprised what you find. 100 00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:24,830 We are on course to graduate every senior this year 101 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,220 and that's never been done by any school in the district. 102 00:07:27,350 --> 00:07:30,920 That reminds me, Procter, new regulations. 103 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,970 From here on, all school employees must 104 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,100 have a high school diploma. 105 00:07:36,230 --> 00:07:38,060 No problem there. 106 00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:41,890 Our faculty is fully accredited and of the highest standards. 107 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:44,540 You have an Ernest P. Worrell here. 108 00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:46,980 My records indicate he never graduated. 109 00:07:47,110 --> 00:07:48,770 Well, yes. 110 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,590 But, but he's not faculty. 111 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,030 You see, he's just-- 112 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,680 I don't make the rules. 113 00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:57,380 The regulations say, all employees. 114 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:02,820 Here we go. 115 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,270 Excuse me. 116 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,490 Your name wouldn't be Worrell, would it? 117 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,320 That's me and boy are you in luck. 118 00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:19,490 You're just in time for a personal demonstration 119 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:22,840 of [DEEP VOICE] supremo vac, the world's most powerful vacuum 120 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:23,760 cleaner. 121 00:08:23,890 --> 00:08:26,320 Maybe some other time. 122 00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:29,810 [LAUGHING] 123 00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:33,070 Your loss. 124 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,510 [shrieking] 125 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,570 [YELLING] Ernest, turn that thing off and get in here, 126 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:56,490 please! 127 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:06,450 [fast paced jazz music] 128 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:12,890 [banging] 129 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,310 [whirring] 130 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,800 A job well done. 131 00:09:52,930 --> 00:09:56,280 [door opens] 132 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:00,980 I'm sorry, sir, it never acted like that before. 133 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,470 And wouldn't you know it, it's just out of warranty. 134 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,340 We've got a problem, Ernest. 135 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,300 Oh, the leaky faucet in the locker room? 136 00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:08,470 Don't worry about it. 137 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,780 It's been taken care of. 138 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,780 Seriously, they've changed the rules. 139 00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:17,700 All school system employees must be high school graduates. 140 00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:22,180 Or, or what? 141 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,010 Or you have to go. 142 00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:27,710 But, sir, this is my life. 143 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:28,880 This is my career. 144 00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,230 This is my spiritual fulfillment. 145 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,410 It's, it's my job. 146 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:37,060 It's either that or you have to go back to school. 147 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,070 Oh no! 148 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,240 Not that! 149 00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:40,200 Anything but that! 150 00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,640 Not back to school! 151 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,910 [students chattering] 152 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,780 RODNEY [OVER PA]: Good morning, Chickasaw Falls. 153 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,950 Got something special today. 154 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,220 Got a new student. 155 00:10:58,350 --> 00:11:00,700 A man I like to call Ernest. 156 00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:05,350 Lets all give him a big Muskrat welcome. 157 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,140 Good morning, ladies. 158 00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:11,010 So you're going to give it a try? 159 00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,530 Yes, sir. 160 00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:14,410 You know what that famous Dr. Frankenstein said, 161 00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:18,540 a brain is a terrible thing to waste. 162 00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:19,930 Good morning 163 00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:20,800 Good luck, Ernest. 164 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,460 You can do it, Ernest! 165 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:26,330 No problemo heir teacher a-scientificus. 166 00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,240 Go ahead. 167 00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:29,730 Don't be late. 168 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:33,120 Ah, he doesn't stand a chance. 169 00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,120 Nah. 170 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,640 Nope. 171 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:42,000 152, 152, 152. 172 00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:43,350 152! 173 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,610 There you are my little locker of love! 174 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:50,790 My little personal port in a storm of knowledge. 175 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:56,100 My little sanctuary far away from the teeming masses. 176 00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:57,930 OK, Ernest, you ready? 177 00:11:58,060 --> 00:11:58,840 Yeah. 178 00:11:58,970 --> 00:11:59,970 Let the games begin. 179 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:00,840 All right, good luck. 180 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:01,760 Thanks. 181 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:02,670 See ya later, okay? 182 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:03,540 Thanks. 183 00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:04,930 Go get 'em. 184 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:05,940 Quick review, lets see. 185 00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:08,460 Homeroom, mathematics. 186 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,290 This is supposed to be memorized, bud. 187 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:14,730 No, I need that. 188 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,290 What's the matter, Ernie, did your mommy 189 00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:17,640 hold you back a couple years? 190 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,560 More like a couple of decades, huh? 191 00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:20,600 Ow. 192 00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:21,820 Here we go. 193 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,000 That's go all my room numbers. 194 00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:25,960 I can't find my way around without-- 195 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:27,610 Get out of the way, buddy. 196 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:29,090 That's got my classes on it. 197 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:30,570 Not too close. 198 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,350 I don't know my way around, yet. 199 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,180 Come one, guys. 200 00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:36,180 [bell rings] 201 00:12:36,310 --> 00:12:37,970 Please, I I need that. 202 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,270 I get lost, I, I, can't find my way around. 203 00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:54,200 Hello? 204 00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:55,900 [voice echoing] 205 00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:58,680 Is anybody there? 206 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,770 Does anybody know where math class is? 207 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,820 [horse neighing] 208 00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:11,310 [western music] 209 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,320 [gulps] 210 00:13:30,980 --> 00:13:35,110 Math class is room 205. 211 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,110 Thanks. 212 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:44,160 Hey, you'll need a hall pass. 213 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:45,080 Thanks. 214 00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:13,540 [horse whinnying] 215 00:14:13,670 --> 00:14:15,890 All right, class. 216 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,630 Blackboard problem. 217 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,980 [door creaks loudly] 218 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,470 A produce truck has a trailer 12 feet wide 219 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,340 by 10 feet high by 20 feet long. 220 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,820 It carries the load of oranges, which 221 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:35,390 are packed 48 to the cotton. 222 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,350 Each cotton is one feet wide by one feet high by two 223 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,440 and 1/2 feet long. 224 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:40,390 If-- 225 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,740 [shoes squeaking] 226 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,830 --the trailer is fully loaded, how many oranges does it hold? 227 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,320 Who has the answer? 228 00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:56,320 Anyone? 229 00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:57,240 Yeow! 230 00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:58,590 [LAUGHTER] 231 00:14:58,720 --> 00:14:59,720 All right, Ernest. 232 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,550 Why don't you step up to the board 233 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,990 and show us all how to find the answer? 234 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:12,510 MALE STUDENT: Man, this ought to be great. 235 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,600 I'd love to. 236 00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:24,220 First, we have to take into account 237 00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,960 that at this time of year the most likely crop of oranges 238 00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:30,050 are the sweet, juicy Valencia oranges, 239 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,270 grown mainly in Florida. 240 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:38,020 If these oranges are picked by overzealous migrant workers 241 00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:42,460 some of them may be too ripe and this could lead to spoilage. 242 00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:43,940 [spurting] 243 00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:47,290 [laughter] 244 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:56,640 Assuming that rot doesn't spread too quickly, 245 00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:59,300 we could subtract, say, three oranges per carton 246 00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:01,340 just be on the safe side. 247 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,130 Plus, if there are any big grapefruit 248 00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:07,960 mixed in there or any of those big, fat, swollen orchard rats. 249 00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:09,790 Sit. 250 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,270 I'm just getting to the answer. 251 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,230 These big fat rats they-- 252 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,140 Now! 253 00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:24,760 [popping] 254 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,730 [ANGRILY] Take your seat, Ernest. 255 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:38,820 Sit down. 256 00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:40,120 Be my guest. 257 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:40,990 Thank you. 258 00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:45,870 Sit, Ernest. 259 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,610 I have told you to sit, so, please sit! 260 00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:52,530 [rips] 261 00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:56,010 [teacher yells] 262 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:13,420 [whistle blowing] 263 00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:17,120 All right, ladies. 264 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:20,860 Today we're going to do a little wrestling. 265 00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,030 Who wants to help out? 266 00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,950 Worrell. 267 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,520 You just volunteered. 268 00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:36,270 I think not, Coach. 269 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,790 With my extensive background in the WWF 270 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,450 and since I've seen every single Wrestlemania since the Hulkster 271 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:44,360 was defeated by the Ultimate Warrior, 272 00:17:44,490 --> 00:17:46,320 I hardly think it would be fair to the other youngsters. 273 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:47,230 Uh-huh. 274 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,800 Get up there now! 275 00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:55,460 [teenagers cheering] 276 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,330 I'll move slowly, Donald, so you 277 00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,200 can observe my cat-like moves. 278 00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:07,470 [laughter] 279 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:22,880 Coach Carson, you ready? 280 00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:26,270 [roaring] 281 00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:35,760 [rock music] 282 00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:00,130 Ay, woah woah! 283 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,100 Yo, where you at? 284 00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:22,890 [ernest groaning] 285 00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:32,730 Hey, he's going to try the atomic drop. 286 00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:37,520 Yeow! 287 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,570 [students cheering] 288 00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:48,570 Coach, coach, I've got him pinned. 289 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,490 Coach! 290 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:55,840 [coach carson screams] 291 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,230 Hey, come on, Coach! 292 00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,200 Woah! 293 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,810 [ernest yells] 294 00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:22,650 MALE STUDENT: Yo, that's gonna hurt, man! 295 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:25,570 Oh, Earnest, are you all right? 296 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:29,610 That last hold was clearly illegal. 297 00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:32,090 Ah! 298 00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:42,930 [GROANS] 299 00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,450 What you're about to see is for your eyes only, Ernest. 300 00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:48,460 If this experiment fell into the wrong hands, 301 00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:50,550 world governments would fall, my friend. 302 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,240 Weapons of mass destruction could 303 00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:54,330 fall into corrupt hands and Bobby 304 00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:55,900 and I could lose our jobs. 305 00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:59,160 [pig snorting] 306 00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:00,900 What's that on Mogley's head? 307 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,300 You are about to witness the trial run of a Nobel prize 308 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,690 winning ticket to the big time! 309 00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:06,610 Bobby. 310 00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,830 With the aid of this device, Ernest, 311 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,350 this lowly beast should be able to solve 312 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,700 this simple mathematical problem as easily 313 00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,360 as it can count and root. 314 00:21:18,490 --> 00:21:21,450 A four! 315 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,670 Ernest! 316 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:23,930 Oh, sorry. 317 00:21:24,060 --> 00:21:27,100 Give him another one, Bobby. 318 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,370 [computer keys clicking] 319 00:21:36,030 --> 00:21:37,640 Concentrate my little piggy. 320 00:21:43,340 --> 00:21:48,520 Come on, make mama proud, two plus four is? 321 00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:49,780 Seven? 322 00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:51,650 Why? 323 00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,350 We were so close. 324 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,830 Our family names in the text books. 325 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,570 Why, Bobby? Why, Bobby? 326 00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:58,440 Why, Bobby? 327 00:21:58,570 --> 00:21:59,310 Why? 328 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,750 Nothing to be ashamed of, Mogley. 329 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,280 Math was never a good subject for me either. 330 00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:13,720 [overlapping chatter] 331 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,420 Well, you know, just tell me about-- 332 00:22:19,550 --> 00:22:22,770 [overlapping chatter] 333 00:22:25,820 --> 00:22:28,470 Ah, puppy love. 334 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,080 These are the moments to be treasured for a lifetime. 335 00:22:32,210 --> 00:22:33,260 Yeah right. 336 00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:35,430 Maisy doesn't even know I'm alive. 337 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,090 Well, have you told her how you feel? 338 00:22:37,220 --> 00:22:38,090 Are you kidding? 339 00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,480 I don't even dare say hello. 340 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:42,700 Well it's probably best for now. 341 00:22:42,830 --> 00:22:45,230 Your academic pursuits are the most important things 342 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,620 in these formative years. 343 00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:51,230 Still, the hardened heart is a lonely traveler. 344 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:54,760 Should I be writing this stuff down? 345 00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:58,240 Class, class settle down please. 346 00:22:58,370 --> 00:23:01,290 Settle down, thank you. 347 00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:03,030 As you all know, the survival of our school 348 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,940 is somewhat in question at this time. 349 00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:07,770 Our very existence may well depend 350 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:11,340 upon the image we present to the community at large. 351 00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:14,040 That's why we're fortunate to have Miss Flugal 352 00:23:14,170 --> 00:23:16,690 as our new band instructor. 353 00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,780 [harp plays] 354 00:23:18,910 --> 00:23:20,960 She has a reputation for producing the most delightfully 355 00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:23,130 entertaining halftime shows. 356 00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:25,270 I'm sure you'll give her your complete attention 357 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,490 and cooperation. 358 00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:30,840 Hello, I'm Ms. Flugal. 359 00:23:30,970 --> 00:23:32,450 And I'm looking forward to getting to know 360 00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:35,060 each and every one of you. 361 00:23:35,190 --> 00:23:39,760 With hard work and enthusiasm I know we can put this band back 362 00:23:39,890 --> 00:23:42,680 on the map, so to speak. 363 00:23:42,810 --> 00:23:45,160 Man, with this group she doesn't stand a chance. 364 00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:47,070 So let's get started. 365 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,600 If everyone will please turn to Strauss' Blue Danube. 366 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:53,340 And that will give me a sense of your musicality thus far. 367 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,530 One two three, two two three, one two three, two two three. 368 00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:11,970 [MUSIC - JOHANN STRAUSS, "THE BLUE DANUBE"] 369 00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:24,280 [bubbles popping] 370 00:25:04,710 --> 00:25:08,060 [ernest yells] 371 00:25:39,270 --> 00:25:41,100 Ernest, snap out of it! 372 00:25:41,230 --> 00:25:42,360 Oh! 373 00:25:42,490 --> 00:25:45,670 [cymbal crashing] 374 00:25:49,150 --> 00:25:50,540 [electricity zapping] 375 00:25:50,670 --> 00:25:53,330 So, by applying exactly six milliwatts of DC power 376 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:56,420 from these Duracell batteries, the frogs leg demonstrates what 377 00:25:56,550 --> 00:25:59,290 we call a galvanic response. 378 00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:02,160 And that's what my project is about. 379 00:26:02,290 --> 00:26:04,030 Did you hear that, Bobby? 380 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,340 He has been using DC power but we have been 381 00:26:06,470 --> 00:26:09,430 using AC on the you-know-what. 382 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,210 Good report, kid. 383 00:26:11,350 --> 00:26:12,870 Way to bugs that toad. 384 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,350 This is it, Bobby, this is it. 385 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:21,010 So, you, kid with the yellow shirt thing, do yours! 386 00:26:21,140 --> 00:26:22,230 This is the break through we've been 387 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,360 waiting for all of these years. 388 00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:27,750 If only dad were here to witness our moment of triumph, yeah? 389 00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:32,580 What? 390 00:26:32,710 --> 00:26:35,330 Eyes up front. 391 00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:40,160 One of our most beloved American writers is Mark Twain. 392 00:26:40,290 --> 00:26:43,330 His real name is Samuel Clemens. 393 00:26:43,460 --> 00:26:47,250 And a number of his works are considered classics. 394 00:26:47,380 --> 00:26:50,300 Who can tell me the names of some of the books 395 00:26:50,430 --> 00:26:53,820 Mark Twain wrote? 396 00:26:53,950 --> 00:26:55,260 [students laughing] 397 00:26:55,390 --> 00:26:56,170 Ernest! 398 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,480 - Tom Sawyer? - No! 399 00:27:02,610 --> 00:27:03,530 Life in the Mississippi? 400 00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:06,310 - No! - Wizard! of Oz? 401 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,400 No, your hat's on fire! 402 00:27:08,530 --> 00:27:10,490 I thought that was Dr. Seuss. 403 00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,490 The fire extinguisher! 404 00:27:17,410 --> 00:27:20,630 [yelling] 405 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,940 To be blunt, I am very disappointed in you, Ernest. 406 00:27:28,070 --> 00:27:29,290 It seems like there's little chance 407 00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:30,990 of you passing your regular courses much 408 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,820 less the state examination. 409 00:27:32,950 --> 00:27:34,990 Well I realize things haven't been going too well, 410 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,040 but I'm out of practice. 411 00:27:37,170 --> 00:27:40,700 No, I think we'd be best to just admit the whole experiment 412 00:27:40,830 --> 00:27:42,650 was a mistake and move on. 413 00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:45,000 You mean, I'm finished? 414 00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:46,350 I'm outta here? 415 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,570 I'm on the streets, up the creek, 416 00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:56,580 down the road, dropped, purged, cold, fired, flunked? 417 00:27:56,710 --> 00:27:58,280 Please, don't throw me out. 418 00:27:58,410 --> 00:27:59,240 A deal's a deal. 419 00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:01,370 Please don't make me go. 420 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:05,370 I know we had a deal, but, but I can't let that decision 421 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,720 jeopardize the school. 422 00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:08,330 What are you stalling for? 423 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:09,510 Get rid of this idiot! 424 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:10,990 He can't cut it. 425 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,160 I can too cut it. 426 00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:14,950 I'll make you proud. 427 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,340 You'll see, but please, please give me another chance cause, 428 00:28:18,470 --> 00:28:21,000 cause if I don't have this, I don't have anything. 429 00:28:21,130 --> 00:28:24,090 Well I want to be fair with you, Ernest. 430 00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:26,790 So I'm giving you one more week to show some improvement. 431 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:27,870 Oh, thank you, sir. 432 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,270 Thank you. 433 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:30,960 I'll do my best and it'll be good enough. 434 00:28:31,090 --> 00:28:33,490 And everything will work out, you'll see. 435 00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:34,920 You'll see. 436 00:28:35,050 --> 00:28:37,230 I'm going right now to study real, real hard. 437 00:28:40,410 --> 00:28:43,720 [door opening and closing] 438 00:28:49,850 --> 00:28:51,640 Get rid of this idiot, he can't cut it. 439 00:28:51,770 --> 00:28:53,420 I can cut it. 440 00:28:53,550 --> 00:28:58,560 Uh, ah, sure, I've never cut it before, but anyone can change. 441 00:28:58,690 --> 00:29:01,950 MATH TEACHER: Ernest, you will answer me now. 442 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,950 Could you repeat the question? 443 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:04,870 AXWELL: Flunk him. 444 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,480 He can't cut it. 445 00:29:06,610 --> 00:29:09,390 I can, I know I can. 446 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,050 I think I can. 447 00:29:11,180 --> 00:29:13,350 You are such a loser. 448 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,220 You're hopeless. 449 00:29:14,350 --> 00:29:15,790 I'm not. 450 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,140 I can change. 451 00:29:17,270 --> 00:29:18,660 I just need more time. 452 00:29:18,790 --> 00:29:20,100 FEMALE TEACHER 1: What's the chief export of Guam? 453 00:29:20,230 --> 00:29:21,800 FEMALE TEACHER 2: Who wrote the autobiography 454 00:29:21,930 --> 00:29:23,150 of Benjamin Franklin? 455 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:24,580 MALE TEACHER 1: I must have your paper. 456 00:29:24,710 --> 00:29:26,500 MALE TEACHER 2: Who's buried in Grant's tomb? 457 00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:27,370 MALE TEACHER 1: Papers. 458 00:29:29,850 --> 00:29:30,590 They're right. 459 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,460 I can't do it. [knocks] 460 00:29:36,590 --> 00:29:39,990 GERTA: Ernest, in here. 461 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:40,990 Gerta? 462 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,170 GERTA: Yeah, sure. 463 00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:45,650 - What are you doing in there? - Sh. 464 00:29:45,780 --> 00:29:46,690 Come. 465 00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:47,910 And don't let anyone see you. 466 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:48,780 Come. 467 00:29:56,350 --> 00:29:59,700 [machines whirring] 468 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,370 ERNEST: Gosh, these lockers hold more than I thought. 469 00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:11,150 Ernest, come in. 470 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,110 Come. 471 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,460 Step a little closer. 472 00:30:13,590 --> 00:30:14,370 Come on. 473 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:16,070 It's OK. 474 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:16,940 Closer. 475 00:30:17,070 --> 00:30:18,680 Stop. 476 00:30:18,810 --> 00:30:21,730 You've been having some problems with you school work, yeah? 477 00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:23,770 Bobby and I would like to make you an offer 478 00:30:23,900 --> 00:30:25,640 that could change your life. 479 00:30:25,770 --> 00:30:27,990 Not to mention the course of history. 480 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,210 Well, I'm game. 481 00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,690 Good because we've done it, Ernest. 482 00:30:32,820 --> 00:30:36,920 You are looking at the world's first subatomic brain 483 00:30:37,050 --> 00:30:38,180 accelerator. 484 00:30:38,310 --> 00:30:39,920 And you are the lucky student who 485 00:30:40,050 --> 00:30:43,700 has been selected by our blue ribbon panel, me and Bobby, 486 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,530 for the honor of being our very first-- 487 00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:47,270 Guinea pig. 488 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,230 I prefer the term mental pioneer. 489 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,970 Think of it, Ernest. 490 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:55,590 All the knowledge in the history of mankind at your disposal. 491 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,590 Well, gosh do you think this thing 492 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,160 could help me pass a math test? 493 00:31:00,290 --> 00:31:02,420 Pass a math test? 494 00:31:02,550 --> 00:31:05,250 Pass a math test? 495 00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:08,860 Try rewriting the theory of relativity. 496 00:31:08,990 --> 00:31:11,170 Well, if you think it really needs it. 497 00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:12,690 Now you're talking. 498 00:31:12,820 --> 00:31:13,950 OK, the important thing is that you're comfortable. 499 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,000 Come sit down. 500 00:31:15,130 --> 00:31:16,170 I want to see if it works here. 501 00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:17,130 Yeah? 502 00:31:17,260 --> 00:31:18,260 Yeah, are you comfy? 503 00:31:18,390 --> 00:31:19,170 Mm-hmm. 504 00:31:19,310 --> 00:31:20,090 Good! 505 00:31:20,220 --> 00:31:21,610 Strap him in, Bobby. 506 00:31:21,740 --> 00:31:24,400 All the straps may not even be necessary, Ernest. 507 00:31:24,530 --> 00:31:29,050 But that's what being a mental pioneer is all about, isn't it? 508 00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:30,880 Are you ready, Ernest? 509 00:31:31,010 --> 00:31:32,490 Actually I am having some second thoughts. 510 00:31:32,620 --> 00:31:33,970 Oh! [SHUSHING] No. 511 00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:36,500 Now, Bobby, fire it up. 512 00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:40,200 Now, Ernest, get ready to become smart. 513 00:31:40,330 --> 00:31:42,720 OK, Bobby, let her rip! 514 00:31:42,850 --> 00:31:46,160 [electronic buzzing] 515 00:31:50,290 --> 00:31:52,730 Ernest, how I envy you. 516 00:31:52,860 --> 00:31:55,430 [ERNEST MAKING UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS] 517 00:32:07,090 --> 00:32:09,880 Professor, pull it out to just the left hemisphere. 518 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,020 Uh, Bobby. 519 00:32:26,150 --> 00:32:26,940 Shut it down. 520 00:32:32,810 --> 00:32:33,640 Shut it down! 521 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,990 Ernest? 522 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,080 Oh, Ernest, Ernest, my friend. 523 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:45,570 Are you in there? 524 00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:47,350 [INTELLIGENTLY] By saying, are you in there, 525 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,480 you must be making the philosophical assumption 526 00:32:49,610 --> 00:32:51,310 that I'm a conscious entity wholly 527 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,700 capable of existing outside the body you see in front of you. 528 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,320 [ERNEST REGULAR VOICE] Know what I mean? 529 00:32:57,450 --> 00:32:58,320 It works! 530 00:32:58,450 --> 00:32:59,490 It works! 531 00:32:59,620 --> 00:33:02,500 Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, it works! 532 00:33:02,630 --> 00:33:03,760 Am I smart now? 533 00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:05,630 Oh no, not now. 534 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,150 But for a few brief moments there baby, you were brilliant! 535 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:10,810 Gosh, fellas, I don't know how to thank you! 536 00:33:10,940 --> 00:33:12,330 Ah, yeah, nothing. 537 00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:14,420 Listen, you got to get here bright and early 538 00:33:14,550 --> 00:33:15,640 so that we can load you up. 539 00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:17,380 And if my calculations are correct, 540 00:33:17,510 --> 00:33:19,380 a normal sized brain can only maintain 541 00:33:19,510 --> 00:33:22,690 a charge for about three hours. 542 00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:24,650 So in your case, liebchen, we're looking at 45 minutes 543 00:33:24,780 --> 00:33:26,520 to an hour tops. 544 00:33:26,650 --> 00:33:29,090 Well, gosh, maybe this means I could pass now. 545 00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:31,180 Just remember, Ernest, give yourself 546 00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:34,220 plenty of time to recharge before every class, OK? 547 00:33:34,350 --> 00:33:35,050 Eureka! 548 00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:41,270 [theme song] 549 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,500 RODNEY [ON PA]: Good morning, Chickasaw Falls, 550 00:33:53,630 --> 00:33:56,380 and the countdown is on to find out who'll be little miss 551 00:33:56,510 --> 00:33:58,380 perfect, the homecoming queen. 552 00:33:58,510 --> 00:34:00,160 Yeah, real excitement there, with a win 553 00:34:00,290 --> 00:34:02,510 this week we can go to the district finals. 554 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,910 We can be football heroes! 555 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,300 [CHEERS] 556 00:34:06,430 --> 00:34:09,390 [ernest unintelligible noises] 557 00:34:15,570 --> 00:34:18,880 [bell rings] 558 00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:41,510 Right class, who can give me the answer to the problem I 559 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:42,380 said for homework? 560 00:34:46,730 --> 00:34:49,210 Come now, surely someone must have worked it out. 561 00:34:57,130 --> 00:35:00,180 Ernest, all right, what's your guess? 562 00:35:00,310 --> 00:35:03,620 [INTELLIGENTLY] The answer is y to the fourth power plus 16y 563 00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:10,930 cubed plus 71y squared minus 4y minus 420 equals zero. 564 00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:11,890 That's right! 565 00:35:12,020 --> 00:35:13,580 Well of course it's right. 566 00:35:13,710 --> 00:35:16,720 [CLASS MURMURING] 567 00:35:16,850 --> 00:35:20,020 Why don't you show the rest of the class 568 00:35:20,150 --> 00:35:22,460 how you arrived at your answer? 569 00:35:22,590 --> 00:35:23,330 Be glad to. 570 00:35:29,380 --> 00:35:30,820 The key thing to remember here, class, 571 00:35:30,950 --> 00:35:32,860 is that by increasing the true roots 572 00:35:32,990 --> 00:35:36,300 of an equation we therefore decrease the false roots 573 00:35:36,430 --> 00:35:37,820 by an equal amount. 574 00:35:37,950 --> 00:35:40,780 And on the contrary, by decreasing the false roots 575 00:35:40,910 --> 00:35:43,870 we increase the true roots by an equal amount. 576 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:48,310 Am I going too fast for those of you who are taking notes? 577 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:49,440 Good. 578 00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:52,230 So to continue. 579 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,150 Increasing the true root, five by three 580 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:55,890 we diminish each of the false roots 581 00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:57,930 so that the root previously four is now only one and the root 582 00:35:58,060 --> 00:36:00,150 previously three is zero and the root previously two 583 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:05,810 is the true root equal to minus 4y minus 420 equals zero. 584 00:36:05,940 --> 00:36:07,510 Now that we've covered the basics, 585 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,860 why don't we go on to something a little more stimulating? 586 00:36:10,990 --> 00:36:14,170 [CHUCKLES] 587 00:36:29,180 --> 00:36:32,140 [students chattering] 588 00:36:33,710 --> 00:36:35,010 So, how did it go? 589 00:36:35,140 --> 00:36:36,010 [NORMAL VOICE] Great! 590 00:36:36,140 --> 00:36:39,320 I never knew I was so smart. 591 00:36:39,450 --> 00:36:40,580 Come on, come on, let's go! 592 00:36:40,710 --> 00:36:41,800 I'm gonna be late. 593 00:36:41,930 --> 00:36:43,850 Well, excuse me. 594 00:36:47,420 --> 00:36:50,640 [machines beeping] 595 00:37:02,130 --> 00:37:04,560 Would everyone please get out the Sousa book, 596 00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:07,130 Stars and Stripes Forever. 597 00:37:07,260 --> 00:37:09,220 And we'll see if we can't discover what we were 598 00:37:09,350 --> 00:37:10,920 doing wrong the other day, hm? 599 00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:25,710 [INTELLIGENTLY] Hello, my little friend. 600 00:37:25,850 --> 00:37:28,150 How come all the sudden you show up late for everything? 601 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,500 I'm bored by the preliminaries. 602 00:37:30,630 --> 00:37:32,720 They're so elementary, don't you think? 603 00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:34,550 That's another thing, how come all of a sudden you're 604 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,550 such an expert on everything? 605 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,900 Everyone has the potential for brilliance, my boy. 606 00:37:41,030 --> 00:37:43,910 I've just been fortunate enough to find the key that unlocks 607 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,780 the powers of the human mind. 608 00:37:46,910 --> 00:37:48,130 Right. 609 00:37:48,260 --> 00:37:49,560 From the top. 610 00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:52,000 Think pitch, trumpets. 611 00:37:52,130 --> 00:37:54,000 One two, two two. 612 00:37:54,130 --> 00:37:56,010 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER"] 613 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:57,400 [BAND PLAYING OFF KEY] 614 00:38:08,980 --> 00:38:10,240 All right people. 615 00:38:10,370 --> 00:38:12,020 People, please. 616 00:38:12,150 --> 00:38:13,980 May I make a suggestion? 617 00:38:14,110 --> 00:38:16,640 Well yes, Ernest. 618 00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:19,160 First of all you must understand 619 00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:21,340 that this song, perhaps more than any other, 620 00:38:21,470 --> 00:38:24,770 represents the fighting spirit of the United States 621 00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:26,730 of America. 622 00:38:26,860 --> 00:38:29,260 So as you raise your horn to your lips, 623 00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,650 try to think of those courageous young soldiers, the loved 624 00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:36,870 ones they left behind, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas 625 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,400 morning, the Easter Parade. 626 00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:42,880 [trumpet plays perfectly] 627 00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:02,420 Your middle valve needs a little oil. 628 00:39:02,550 --> 00:39:06,290 Woodwinds, woodwinds, woodwinds. 629 00:39:06,420 --> 00:39:11,730 The color, the nuance of 50 distinct individual United 630 00:39:11,860 --> 00:39:14,350 States. It's all up to you. 631 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,830 [clarinet plays perfectly] 632 00:39:27,450 --> 00:39:28,840 Everybody now. 633 00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:32,280 [band plays on key] 634 00:40:09,310 --> 00:40:13,010 Class, I think we've found our new drum major. 635 00:40:13,140 --> 00:40:15,010 What do you say, Ernest? 636 00:40:15,140 --> 00:40:16,930 It'll take a lot of work. 637 00:40:17,060 --> 00:40:18,930 And I have my reputation to think of. 638 00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:20,280 Oh, come on Ernest. 639 00:40:20,410 --> 00:40:21,190 Please, Ernest? 640 00:40:24,550 --> 00:40:26,810 Well, if you insist. 641 00:40:38,990 --> 00:40:42,260 [football players yelling] 642 00:40:47,310 --> 00:40:49,660 As you are probably aware, there 643 00:40:49,790 --> 00:40:53,140 are certain persons associated with this football team 644 00:40:53,270 --> 00:40:55,230 that would rather we didn't play halftime 645 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,100 at the homecoming game. 646 00:40:57,230 --> 00:41:00,490 They say, we're an embarrassment to the school. 647 00:41:00,630 --> 00:41:03,930 They say, we defile the name of the mighty Muskrats. 648 00:41:04,060 --> 00:41:07,150 We'll I say, why are we going to allow the football 649 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,980 team to have all the glory? 650 00:41:09,110 --> 00:41:12,770 Glory, which by all rights, is ours! 651 00:41:12,900 --> 00:41:15,120 How do we do this, you ask? 652 00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:16,900 Who could we impress? 653 00:41:17,030 --> 00:41:20,510 We're just a bunch of no talent losers. 654 00:41:20,650 --> 00:41:23,910 Why we don't know an eighth note from fly poop. 655 00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:31,260 Well, I beg to differ. 656 00:41:31,390 --> 00:41:34,440 A good leader could turn this no account rabble 657 00:41:34,570 --> 00:41:38,400 into a drum pounding, horn blowing, foot stomping, 658 00:41:38,530 --> 00:41:40,930 precision marching unit. 659 00:41:41,060 --> 00:41:44,190 A good leader could take you deadbeats 660 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,280 and turn you into a marching band 661 00:41:46,410 --> 00:41:49,330 better than any Chickasaw Falls has ever seen. 662 00:41:49,460 --> 00:41:53,500 And honesty compels me to tell you that I am that leader. 663 00:41:53,630 --> 00:41:56,770 [band members agree] 664 00:42:00,900 --> 00:42:03,910 [students gasp] 665 00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:09,130 Oh, Bradley, did you lose this? 666 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,870 [laughter] 667 00:42:13,350 --> 00:42:14,310 All right. 668 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,750 In one two, one two three four. 669 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:30,850 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE WASHINGTON POST"] 670 00:42:30,980 --> 00:42:32,280 Can you feel it, Harold? 671 00:42:32,410 --> 00:42:34,200 There's a new spirit in here, and it's great. 672 00:42:34,330 --> 00:42:37,200 You've got another full week to enjoy before the ax falls. 673 00:42:37,330 --> 00:42:39,110 Well, I'd hate to be the one to close down 674 00:42:39,250 --> 00:42:40,640 a school with the winning football team 675 00:42:40,770 --> 00:42:42,550 and a rousing halftime show. 676 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:43,470 You don't have to. 677 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,470 That's my job. 678 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,860 After school what say we drop by the video arcade and you can 679 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,040 watch whilst I dazzle one and all with my uncanny 680 00:42:53,170 --> 00:42:55,300 hand-eye coordination. 681 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,090 No, no, I don't think so, Ernest. 682 00:42:57,220 --> 00:42:58,440 We could go by the park and you 683 00:42:58,570 --> 00:43:00,010 could see how many games of chess 684 00:43:00,140 --> 00:43:01,830 I could play simultaneously. 685 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,270 No, you don't need us to do any of that stuff. 686 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,400 Besides, I have to study, not like some people I know. 687 00:43:07,530 --> 00:43:09,620 As I've told you before, I've learned that secret 688 00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:12,020 to unlocking the powers of the mind. 689 00:43:12,150 --> 00:43:14,540 Yeah, well, however it works I don't know how to do it. 690 00:43:14,670 --> 00:43:16,200 So-- 691 00:43:16,330 --> 00:43:19,630 My good man, would you happen to have any sauce venais 692 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:21,900 for this meatloaf ordinaire? 693 00:43:24,990 --> 00:43:27,080 Fresh cilantro? Picante salsa? 694 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:31,690 We got ketchup. 695 00:43:31,820 --> 00:43:34,780 That's what I like to eat it with. 696 00:43:34,910 --> 00:43:36,870 Yes, I bet you do. 697 00:43:40,220 --> 00:43:44,010 You know Ernest, you've turned into a real jerk. 698 00:43:44,140 --> 00:43:45,660 I liked you a lot better when you weren't so smart. 699 00:43:49,530 --> 00:43:52,010 GERTA: Yeah, that should do it, Bobby. 700 00:43:52,140 --> 00:43:53,890 Now the machine's perfect. 701 00:43:54,020 --> 00:43:57,760 Oh, I cannot wait to try this on a real human brain! 702 00:43:57,890 --> 00:44:00,810 But, until then, Ernest will have to do. 703 00:44:00,940 --> 00:44:02,240 Wakey, wakey, fellas. 704 00:44:02,370 --> 00:44:04,030 I'm running late this morning and I've got 705 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,980 lots of important things to do. 706 00:44:06,110 --> 00:44:08,730 Yes, good morning to you, too, Ernest. 707 00:44:08,860 --> 00:44:10,470 We have made some slight modifications 708 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,860 that I think is going to make this baby work even better. 709 00:44:12,990 --> 00:44:16,390 Gerta, I'm sure that's all very fascinating to someone 710 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,260 who really cares. 711 00:44:18,390 --> 00:44:20,350 But could we please dispense with the small talk 712 00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,610 and get on with this? 713 00:44:22,740 --> 00:44:24,050 Come, Bobby. 714 00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,480 We've got a very important person here. 715 00:44:26,610 --> 00:44:30,050 Wouldn't want to waste any of his valuable time. 716 00:44:30,180 --> 00:44:31,790 Thank you. 717 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,530 [machines whirring] 718 00:44:52,510 --> 00:44:56,160 There, that's more like it. 719 00:44:56,300 --> 00:44:57,600 And the next time, would you both 720 00:44:57,730 --> 00:44:59,730 try to be ready when I get here? 721 00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:02,610 I'm on a very tight schedule and having to wait on you 722 00:45:02,740 --> 00:45:05,130 two doesn't make things any easier. 723 00:45:05,260 --> 00:45:08,130 Good day. 724 00:45:08,260 --> 00:45:11,180 Being smart hasn't done a lot for Ernest's personality. 725 00:45:11,310 --> 00:45:16,230 Got a pretty high opinion of himself, for a lab rat. 726 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,270 Bobby, what is this? 727 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,360 You've held the power back on him? 728 00:45:20,490 --> 00:45:23,100 Ernest will only be smart for another 38 minutes! 729 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:24,720 Why, Bobby? 730 00:45:24,850 --> 00:45:28,110 Why, Bobby, you devil. 731 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,590 [bell rings] 732 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:34,160 FEMALE TEACHER: All right, now class, settle down. 733 00:45:34,290 --> 00:45:36,770 Settle down now please. 734 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:37,680 Settle. 735 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:46,390 Today we'll be continuing our study of America in the 1800's. 736 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:50,000 This was truly a century of great unrest, 737 00:45:50,130 --> 00:45:53,090 mixed with major strides forward as the United 738 00:45:53,220 --> 00:45:56,490 States began to take its place on the world stage. 739 00:45:56,620 --> 00:45:58,440 Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. 740 00:45:58,570 --> 00:45:59,920 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 741 00:46:00,050 --> 00:46:02,930 Ah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. 742 00:46:03,060 --> 00:46:05,360 Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 743 00:46:05,490 --> 00:46:07,800 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 744 00:46:07,930 --> 00:46:08,800 Blah, blah, blah. 745 00:46:08,930 --> 00:46:10,280 Blah, blah, blah. 746 00:46:10,410 --> 00:46:11,760 Blah, blah blah. 747 00:46:11,890 --> 00:46:13,290 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 748 00:46:13,420 --> 00:46:14,770 Uh blah, blah, blah, blah. 749 00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:16,460 Blah, blah. 750 00:46:16,590 --> 00:46:20,860 And so, I hope you all can see what an exciting period 751 00:46:20,990 --> 00:46:22,900 of history this was. 752 00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:25,730 Now we only have time for one report today. 753 00:46:25,860 --> 00:46:28,690 Who'd like to give theirs? 754 00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:29,610 Ernest? 755 00:46:34,610 --> 00:46:36,090 Well it's about time. 756 00:46:40,140 --> 00:46:42,620 Thank you. 757 00:46:42,750 --> 00:46:46,410 While I'm sure most of you have heard of Seward's Folly, 758 00:46:46,540 --> 00:46:48,930 I am equally sure that none of you 759 00:46:49,060 --> 00:46:51,670 understand the important historical significance 760 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,760 of this momentous event. 761 00:46:53,890 --> 00:46:56,850 I refer to, of course, the Alas-- haha, 762 00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:59,720 the Alaska purchase. 763 00:46:59,850 --> 00:47:05,860 [NORMAL VOICE RETURNING] The year, um, 1867. 764 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:10,210 The man William He-He-He Henry Seward. 765 00:47:10,340 --> 00:47:13,820 He was a prom-a-ha-na hey-nada ha-nada 766 00:47:13,950 --> 00:47:16,910 the United States senator. 767 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:24,050 Who can be-he ca-ha me-he uh-coh hon-uh --gressman. 768 00:47:24,180 --> 00:47:25,360 That he be-he na-had 769 00:47:25,490 --> 00:47:28,840 [stumbles over words] 770 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:33,580 Thank you. 771 00:47:33,710 --> 00:47:36,370 [ERNEST MAKES UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS] 772 00:47:52,250 --> 00:47:53,120 Wacka. 773 00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:54,080 Wacka, wacka, wacka. 774 00:48:00,220 --> 00:48:02,000 Come, Ernest, come. 775 00:48:05,220 --> 00:48:07,750 Bobby just speculated a little lesson. 776 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,360 He didn't mean anything by it. 777 00:48:10,490 --> 00:48:13,010 Wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka. 778 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,320 What's that, Lassie? 779 00:48:15,450 --> 00:48:16,360 Timmy's in trouble? 780 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:20,370 Did you get it? 781 00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:30,860 [INTELLIGENTLY] Show business is my life, people. 782 00:48:30,990 --> 00:48:32,640 And if there's one thing I've learned 783 00:48:32,770 --> 00:48:35,990 in this crazy, mixed up biz, is you've got 784 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,300 to give them what they want. 785 00:48:38,430 --> 00:48:41,130 You've got to razzle them and dazzle them. 786 00:48:41,260 --> 00:48:45,740 Astound them and amaze them and leave them begging for more. 787 00:48:45,870 --> 00:48:50,570 Now, listen up because I'm only going to say this once. 788 00:48:50,700 --> 00:48:56,190 If you lose your place and don't know what to do watch me. 789 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,930 If the crowd makes you nervous-- 790 00:48:59,060 --> 00:49:01,410 ALL: Watch me. 791 00:49:01,540 --> 00:49:04,760 Tubas, if we get fatigued on that last credenza 792 00:49:04,890 --> 00:49:06,980 what are we going to do? 793 00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:08,720 ALL: Watch me. 794 00:49:08,850 --> 00:49:10,420 ERNEST: All right, now from the top. 795 00:49:10,550 --> 00:49:13,990 And flag twirlers, I want you to wave those flags 796 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,510 like patriotic zealots. 797 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:16,730 All right. 798 00:49:16,860 --> 00:49:20,650 A one a two, a one two three four. 799 00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:23,820 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE WASHINGTON POST"] 800 00:49:38,140 --> 00:49:39,400 All right. 801 00:49:39,530 --> 00:49:42,280 Well Wanda hits the gong as fireworks queue, 802 00:49:42,410 --> 00:49:43,580 I hit the kettle drum. 803 00:49:43,710 --> 00:49:45,020 Rocket, rocket, rocket. 804 00:49:45,150 --> 00:49:46,670 I hit the xylophone. 805 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,070 Rocket, rocket, rocket. 806 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:50,590 They've been working so hard. 807 00:49:50,720 --> 00:49:51,980 All they can think about is the firework 808 00:49:52,110 --> 00:49:53,680 display at the homecoming. 809 00:49:53,810 --> 00:49:55,420 I'm sure they will be just fine 810 00:49:55,550 --> 00:49:58,420 as long as they keep it short and don't try to embarrass-- 811 00:49:58,550 --> 00:49:59,640 what band is this? 812 00:49:59,770 --> 00:50:01,120 That's Earnest. 813 00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:02,080 I mean that's us. 814 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,080 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 815 00:50:07,210 --> 00:50:09,300 Wrong, all wrong. 816 00:50:09,430 --> 00:50:11,000 MISS FLUGAL: Ernest? 817 00:50:11,130 --> 00:50:13,350 Ernest, Mr. Procter would like to have a word with you. 818 00:50:16,830 --> 00:50:18,440 Take five everyone. 819 00:50:24,710 --> 00:50:26,580 Miss Flugal tells me you've completely turned 820 00:50:26,710 --> 00:50:27,890 around the program, Ernest! 821 00:50:28,020 --> 00:50:29,500 Congratulations son. 822 00:50:29,630 --> 00:50:32,940 You have no idea what this could mean for our school. 823 00:50:33,070 --> 00:50:34,630 Thank you, sir. 824 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,030 It's a shame our performance will have to be interrupted 825 00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,940 by a mere football game. 826 00:50:40,070 --> 00:50:41,550 Well, yes. 827 00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:45,210 Keep up the good work and good luck tomorrow night. 828 00:50:45,340 --> 00:50:46,470 Thank you, sir. 829 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:50,210 Oh, I'll be right with you. 830 00:50:50,340 --> 00:50:52,300 Ernest, I-- 831 00:50:52,430 --> 00:50:54,350 Yes? 832 00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,090 There's a dance after the game tomorrow night 833 00:50:57,220 --> 00:50:59,790 and I have to chaperone. 834 00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:02,620 So I was wondering if you'd like to go with me? 835 00:51:02,750 --> 00:51:06,930 Well I, I haven't checked my schedule but um, 836 00:51:07,060 --> 00:51:07,970 I think I'm free. 837 00:51:14,150 --> 00:51:15,890 People, people! 838 00:51:16,020 --> 00:51:17,420 Once more from the top. 839 00:51:17,550 --> 00:51:20,900 And this time with feeling! 840 00:51:21,030 --> 00:51:23,860 [students chatting] 841 00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:52,190 [cheering] 842 00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:53,450 CHICK [OVER PA]: Chick Hansen here. 843 00:51:53,580 --> 00:51:55,630 Well, it's a gorgeous fall evening. 844 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:57,670 And it's been an all Muskrat first half 845 00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:01,980 as we've managed to skunk the Knights of Regal View. 846 00:52:02,110 --> 00:52:04,590 Star quarterback Brad Spinx has never looked better 847 00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:07,200 at finding his receivers as the Muskrats again drive 848 00:52:07,330 --> 00:52:10,770 deep into Knight territory. 849 00:52:10,900 --> 00:52:14,210 [cheering] 850 00:52:20,350 --> 00:52:22,700 That's another six for the Muskrats. 851 00:52:22,830 --> 00:52:26,140 This homecoming crowd has really got our boys fired up. 852 00:52:31,230 --> 00:52:33,670 Way to go, girls. 853 00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:34,580 Bravo. 854 00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:47,420 I am so excited. 855 00:52:47,550 --> 00:52:50,990 Look at this crowd, I've never seen so many people. 856 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,290 A fitting audience for my crowning triumph 857 00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:56,510 as drum major to the stars, don't you think? 858 00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,820 I just hope everything goes all right. 859 00:52:58,950 --> 00:53:01,520 Don't you worry your pretty little head about that. 860 00:53:01,650 --> 00:53:04,780 As long as my youngsters remember the number one rule, 861 00:53:04,910 --> 00:53:06,790 everything will be just fine. 862 00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:08,220 And what's that rule? 863 00:53:08,350 --> 00:53:10,270 ALL: Watch me. 864 00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:11,180 You see? 865 00:53:11,310 --> 00:53:12,230 What could go wrong? 866 00:53:15,530 --> 00:53:16,580 Ernest, where are you going? 867 00:53:16,710 --> 00:53:18,670 Oh, I just remembered I, I left 868 00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:19,670 something in the band room. 869 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:21,410 I'll be right back. 870 00:53:21,540 --> 00:53:23,280 Well you better be, Ernest, everybody is counting on you. 871 00:53:23,410 --> 00:53:25,370 Would a King miss his own coronation? 872 00:53:25,500 --> 00:53:26,280 I think not. 873 00:53:30,070 --> 00:53:33,330 [crying] 874 00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,380 [NORMAL VOICE] What happened here? 875 00:53:43,340 --> 00:53:45,430 The came like thieves in the night 876 00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:50,440 and attacked cruelly and without provocation. 877 00:53:50,570 --> 00:53:53,010 Who would do such a thing? 878 00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:55,050 People chose with small minds. 879 00:53:55,180 --> 00:53:59,190 Defenders of the status quo, afraid of a brave new world. 880 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,540 Philistines, barbarians. 881 00:54:01,670 --> 00:54:03,490 Republicans, who knows? 882 00:54:06,630 --> 00:54:08,720 Well, can you fix it? 883 00:54:08,850 --> 00:54:11,240 Oh sure, Ernest, let me just get this knot out. 884 00:54:15,030 --> 00:54:17,510 What am I gonna do? 885 00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,210 I can't go out there like this. 886 00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:22,030 I'm just me. 887 00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,390 [GULPS] Oh. 888 00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,740 [drumline playing] 889 00:54:32,260 --> 00:54:34,180 CHICK [ON PA]: And now, the marching 890 00:54:34,310 --> 00:54:38,140 Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls. 891 00:54:38,270 --> 00:54:39,090 Where's Ernest? 892 00:54:39,230 --> 00:54:40,100 I don't know. 893 00:54:40,230 --> 00:54:41,750 But we've got to go on now. 894 00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:49,800 I've seen these kids rehearsing. 895 00:54:49,930 --> 00:54:51,190 It was quite impressive. 896 00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:52,630 [SARCASTICALLY] I'm on the edge of my seat. 897 00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:01,120 Well, it's about time. 898 00:55:01,250 --> 00:55:02,770 We've got to go back. We can't go on. 899 00:55:02,900 --> 00:55:04,340 This will never work. 900 00:55:04,470 --> 00:55:06,210 It's too late for that, the show's already started. 901 00:55:06,340 --> 00:55:07,910 I've got to tell you something, 902 00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,820 it's not what you think. 903 00:55:09,950 --> 00:55:11,740 I'm not really smart. 904 00:55:11,870 --> 00:55:14,170 You get up there. 905 00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:16,350 Remember what you told me? 906 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,870 Watch me. 907 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:19,790 Go. 908 00:55:32,370 --> 00:55:35,670 [daunting music] 909 00:55:46,250 --> 00:55:56,560 [wind blowing] 910 00:55:56,690 --> 00:55:58,610 Oh. 911 00:55:58,740 --> 00:55:59,480 Uh. 912 00:56:09,620 --> 00:56:16,890 [baton tapping] One two, one two three four. 913 00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:20,110 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE WASHINGTON POST"] 914 00:56:37,740 --> 00:56:40,560 CHICK [ON PA]: How about those marching Muskrats! 915 00:56:40,690 --> 00:56:44,050 [audience applause] 916 00:56:52,180 --> 00:56:53,050 ERNEST: Yelp. 917 00:56:53,190 --> 00:56:55,010 Help. 918 00:56:55,140 --> 00:56:58,020 Ah. 919 00:56:58,150 --> 00:57:01,540 Ah, ah. 920 00:57:01,670 --> 00:57:05,020 [audience laughing] 921 00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,510 Yeow. 922 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:13,990 Whoah. 923 00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,990 Whoah. 924 00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:23,000 Whoa, wah ho. 925 00:57:23,130 --> 00:57:26,440 [band plays off key] 926 00:57:38,580 --> 00:57:41,930 [ernest yells] 927 00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:50,940 ERNEST [MUFFLED IN TUBA]: Oh, oh, uh, oh. 928 00:57:51,070 --> 00:57:52,420 Get me outta here. 929 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:01,950 Help me get outta here. 930 00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:03,860 Help me get outta here. 931 00:58:22,010 --> 00:58:24,360 Help me, help, get me outta here. 932 00:58:28,500 --> 00:58:30,370 [fireworks whistling] 933 00:58:30,500 --> 00:58:32,330 Run, run! 934 00:58:32,460 --> 00:58:35,330 [screaming] 935 00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,790 [ernest screams for help] 936 00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:02,790 FIREFIGHTER: Come on, come on. 937 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:04,750 Get the hose on, lets go, huh! 938 00:59:23,900 --> 00:59:24,770 It's your fault! 939 00:59:24,900 --> 00:59:26,080 I hold you responsible. 940 00:59:26,210 --> 00:59:27,470 I never should have allowed you to let 941 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:28,690 Ernest take over this program! 942 00:59:36,870 --> 00:59:40,180 [ernest moaning] 943 01:00:06,810 --> 01:00:09,380 I know I let everybody down. 944 01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:14,690 I had my chance and I blew it. 945 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:23,220 I'm sorry about everything I'm sorry I'm me. 946 01:00:49,860 --> 01:00:51,420 Good-bye my faithful locker. 947 01:00:54,510 --> 01:00:56,340 Good-bye my little monkey wrench. 948 01:01:00,430 --> 01:01:02,960 You coping saws seem to be taking this very well. 949 01:01:08,750 --> 01:01:11,140 I really blew it this time, didn't I, Mister Needle-nose? 950 01:01:11,270 --> 01:01:12,620 [AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS] You sure did, Ernest. 951 01:01:12,750 --> 01:01:14,750 You let the whole school down. 952 01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,840 [NORMAL VOICE] I let the whole school down. 953 01:01:16,970 --> 01:01:19,540 [AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS] You let Miss Flugal down. 954 01:01:19,670 --> 01:01:21,500 [NORMAL VOICE] I let Miss Flugal down. 955 01:01:21,630 --> 01:01:23,460 DONALD: You treated Donald like scum. 956 01:01:23,590 --> 01:01:26,020 I treated Donald like scum. 957 01:01:26,150 --> 01:01:27,980 RODNEY: And you acted like a real jerk to everybody. 958 01:01:28,110 --> 01:01:30,240 I acted like a real jerk to everybody. 959 01:01:30,380 --> 01:01:33,330 And now I got to study just like everybody else. 960 01:01:33,470 --> 01:01:36,120 And now I have to study like e-- 961 01:01:36,250 --> 01:01:38,120 wait a minute! 962 01:01:38,250 --> 01:01:39,950 That's not your voice! 963 01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:41,950 Didn't think you'd get out of that easily, did you, Ernest? 964 01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:44,170 You have to take a test like the rest of us. 965 01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:49,000 Yeah, we're gonna tutor you til you scream for mercy. 966 01:01:49,130 --> 01:01:51,220 Are you sure there's not another way? 967 01:01:51,350 --> 01:01:54,830 No, you're just going to have to study. 968 01:01:54,970 --> 01:01:56,880 Gosh! 969 01:01:57,010 --> 01:01:58,840 What's the predominant element in bones? 970 01:01:58,970 --> 01:02:00,140 Who shot Abraham Lincoln? 971 01:02:00,270 --> 01:02:01,150 What's the fifth most common element? 972 01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:02,020 Yogurt. 973 01:02:02,150 --> 01:02:03,360 Cheese. 974 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:04,630 Some guy with a gun. 975 01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:05,890 Not dairy products, Ernest. 976 01:02:06,020 --> 01:02:07,150 What guy? 977 01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:08,760 Great potato famine of mid 1800's. 978 01:02:08,890 --> 01:02:09,890 Chalk. 979 01:02:10,020 --> 01:02:11,420 Um, the Klingons! 980 01:02:11,550 --> 01:02:12,460 No! 981 01:02:12,590 --> 01:02:13,810 - Colonel Sanders. - No. 982 01:02:13,940 --> 01:02:14,810 Abraham Lincoln. 983 01:02:14,940 --> 01:02:15,730 The Penguin! 984 01:02:15,860 --> 01:02:17,730 This is hopeless! 985 01:02:17,860 --> 01:02:18,770 Elements. 986 01:02:18,900 --> 01:02:19,820 Wyatt Earp. 987 01:02:19,950 --> 01:02:21,640 Elephants. - What country? 988 01:02:21,770 --> 01:02:22,820 Are you sure it's not the penguin? 989 01:02:22,950 --> 01:02:24,690 Idaho. ALL: We're sure! 990 01:02:24,820 --> 01:02:26,260 - Country. - Ivory. 991 01:02:26,390 --> 01:02:27,260 Garth Brooks. 992 01:02:27,390 --> 01:02:30,610 [rodney groans] 993 01:02:32,610 --> 01:02:34,660 Helium. 994 01:02:34,790 --> 01:02:37,620 Nine to the fifth power. 995 01:02:37,750 --> 01:02:40,100 Seward's Folly. 996 01:02:40,230 --> 01:02:43,620 54 40 or fight. 997 01:02:43,750 --> 01:02:46,100 Agriculture. 998 01:02:46,230 --> 01:02:49,450 [snoring] 999 01:02:54,630 --> 01:02:56,500 RODNEY [ON PA]: Rockin' Rodney, here. 1000 01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,770 Today's question is who set fire to the Ironman float 1001 01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:02,030 last night after the pep rally? 1002 01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:05,300 And quite frankly, how do we thank these people? 1003 01:03:05,430 --> 01:03:07,250 Got the big one this weekend. 1004 01:03:07,390 --> 01:03:09,470 Got the district finals, got a chance 1005 01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:12,220 to win the whole enchilada. 1006 01:03:12,350 --> 01:03:14,700 Hey, were going to be football heroes! 1007 01:03:14,830 --> 01:03:18,440 Yeah, fighting Muskrats taking their place in history. 1008 01:03:18,570 --> 01:03:21,400 Oh yeah. 1009 01:03:21,530 --> 01:03:22,360 Ernest! 1010 01:03:22,490 --> 01:03:23,270 OK. 1011 01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:24,180 Here we go. 1012 01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,710 The big test. 1013 01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:29,190 Now all you have to do is relax and concentrate. 1014 01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:30,630 My brain hurts. 1015 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:32,370 I think it's broke. 1016 01:03:32,500 --> 01:03:34,540 I don't think man was supposed to have this much knowledge, 1017 01:03:34,670 --> 01:03:35,850 know what I mean? [banging from locker] 1018 01:03:35,980 --> 01:03:37,370 GERTA: Ernest, open up! 1019 01:03:40,330 --> 01:03:41,940 We fixed it! 1020 01:03:42,070 --> 01:03:43,680 I never thought we could do it so fast 1021 01:03:43,810 --> 01:03:45,600 but when Bobby sets his mind to something, let me tell you, 1022 01:03:45,730 --> 01:03:47,430 there is just no stopping him. 1023 01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:48,640 That's great! 1024 01:03:48,770 --> 01:03:49,910 That means now I can pass for sure. 1025 01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:50,820 GERTA: Yes siree! 1026 01:03:50,950 --> 01:03:52,520 Ya vol! 1027 01:03:52,650 --> 01:03:54,000 We got a new and improved brain accelerator that is just 1028 01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:55,300 waiting for you to plug into. 1029 01:03:55,430 --> 01:03:57,740 OK? 1030 01:03:57,870 --> 01:03:59,650 Thanks anyway, Gerta, but I think 1031 01:03:59,790 --> 01:04:02,050 I better do this one on my own. 1032 01:04:02,180 --> 01:04:05,270 You're joking! 1033 01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:07,750 GERTA: Ernest, what about science? 1034 01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:09,710 What about the Nobel Prize? 1035 01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,580 What about giving us a break, we need you! 1036 01:04:11,710 --> 01:04:13,490 We can't afford a chimp! 1037 01:04:13,630 --> 01:04:16,890 [students chatting] 1038 01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:20,370 [hitting desk] 1039 01:04:21,550 --> 01:04:24,070 All right, students. 1040 01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:25,250 No talking. 1041 01:04:25,380 --> 01:04:28,810 No wandering eyes. 1042 01:04:28,950 --> 01:04:31,820 Ready, begin! 1043 01:04:31,950 --> 01:04:35,300 [ominous music] 1044 01:05:22,820 --> 01:05:26,180 [metal clinking] 1045 01:05:32,310 --> 01:05:35,660 [clock ticking] 1046 01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:40,670 [fly buzzing] 1047 01:06:03,740 --> 01:06:05,130 [fly buzzes quietly] 1048 01:06:05,260 --> 01:06:08,780 [footsteps] 1049 01:06:08,910 --> 01:06:12,920 Is there a problem Mr. Worrell? 1050 01:06:13,050 --> 01:06:13,920 No, ma'am. 1051 01:06:22,490 --> 01:06:25,800 [fly buzzing] 1052 01:06:45,260 --> 01:06:48,080 [teacher burps] 1053 01:06:48,210 --> 01:06:51,520 [clock ticking] 1054 01:06:55,130 --> 01:06:58,440 [grunting] 1055 01:07:01,140 --> 01:07:02,710 How did it go, Ernest? 1056 01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:05,670 I don't know, it's it's all just kind of a blur. 1057 01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,230 Know what I mean? 1058 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:11,280 Well whatever happens, I'm proud of you. 1059 01:07:11,410 --> 01:07:12,590 Come on. 1060 01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:13,540 Come on. 1061 01:07:21,330 --> 01:07:22,730 Chick Hansen here. 1062 01:07:22,860 --> 01:07:25,030 Well it's a perfect crisp afternoon for a game. 1063 01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:26,860 And what a game we've got! 1064 01:07:26,990 --> 01:07:29,520 It's a once in a lifetime David and Goliath match up 1065 01:07:29,650 --> 01:07:31,080 between our own fighting Muskrats 1066 01:07:31,210 --> 01:07:33,650 of Chickasaw Falls and the undefeated Ironman 1067 01:07:33,780 --> 01:07:35,570 of Central High. 1068 01:07:35,700 --> 01:07:37,350 A school that produces championship teams 1069 01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,090 is not the kind of school that should be closed. 1070 01:07:39,220 --> 01:07:40,700 Wouldn't you agree, Miss Nichols. 1071 01:07:40,830 --> 01:07:42,310 Oh, well, as a private individual I do agree with you. 1072 01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,620 But as chairperson of the school board, of course 1073 01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:46,360 I'm trying to keep an open mind. 1074 01:07:46,490 --> 01:07:48,710 Anyway the question is moot because Central is going to win 1075 01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:50,320 today and they'll be champion. 1076 01:07:50,450 --> 01:07:51,630 Oh yeah, is that right? 1077 01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:52,760 MALE STUDENT: Hey Principal Procter, 1078 01:07:52,890 --> 01:07:53,670 can I see you a second? 1079 01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:54,630 Excuse me. 1080 01:07:54,760 --> 01:08:03,330 [drumline playing] 1081 01:08:03,460 --> 01:08:04,460 Knock 'em dead, Ernest. 1082 01:08:08,470 --> 01:08:11,820 [groans] 1083 01:08:15,430 --> 01:08:17,260 CHICK [OK PA]: Ladies and gentlemen, the lady 1084 01:08:17,390 --> 01:08:19,180 Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls! 1085 01:08:24,530 --> 01:08:26,570 AXWELL: Slow down a minute, Coach, we need to talk. 1086 01:08:26,700 --> 01:08:28,310 Nah, this is not a good time for me. 1087 01:08:28,450 --> 01:08:30,140 You've heard about my plans to close your high school. 1088 01:08:30,270 --> 01:08:31,490 Yeah, yeah, I've heard. 1089 01:08:31,620 --> 01:08:32,880 Well, I've got a little problem that I 1090 01:08:33,010 --> 01:08:34,360 think you can help me with. 1091 01:08:34,490 --> 01:08:35,710 COACH: What? 1092 01:08:35,840 --> 01:08:37,930 If you win today, you'll be district 1093 01:08:38,060 --> 01:08:40,760 champs and that'll make things a lot harder for me. 1094 01:08:40,890 --> 01:08:41,680 Well we're gonna win! 1095 01:08:41,810 --> 01:08:43,370 We're gonna whoop 'em! 1096 01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:44,980 I don't see how I can help ya. 1097 01:08:45,110 --> 01:08:48,470 You can make sure your team loses. 1098 01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:51,250 Why would I want to do that? 1099 01:08:51,380 --> 01:08:54,510 If you lose, I'll guarantee you 1100 01:08:54,650 --> 01:08:58,560 the job of head coach of Central High when we merge the schools. 1101 01:09:05,440 --> 01:09:06,830 I don't know. 1102 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:08,440 Chickasaw Falls will close anyway, you might as 1103 01:09:08,570 --> 01:09:09,620 well get something out of it. 1104 01:09:20,110 --> 01:09:21,320 We could've beat those guys. 1105 01:09:21,450 --> 01:09:22,850 So what? 1106 01:09:22,980 --> 01:09:25,150 A week from now nobody'll remember who won what. 1107 01:09:29,330 --> 01:09:31,730 We could beat those guys. 1108 01:09:31,860 --> 01:09:32,770 Could've beat them! [knocking] 1109 01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:33,810 RODNEY: Hey! 1110 01:09:33,950 --> 01:09:35,640 Somebody get me outta here! 1111 01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:37,170 [whistle blows] 1112 01:09:37,300 --> 01:09:39,120 All right, boys, bring it on in here. 1113 01:09:39,260 --> 01:09:40,130 Lets go! 1114 01:09:40,260 --> 01:09:43,560 [team cheering] 1115 01:09:52,140 --> 01:09:53,920 All right, listen up fellas. 1116 01:09:54,050 --> 01:09:55,400 I got a new game plan. 1117 01:09:58,540 --> 01:10:01,890 [dramatic music] 1118 01:10:05,020 --> 01:10:07,330 CHICK [ON PA]: This is certainly not the caliber of football 1119 01:10:07,460 --> 01:10:09,850 we've come to expect from Coach Decker 1120 01:10:09,980 --> 01:10:11,330 and his fighting Muskrats. 1121 01:10:11,460 --> 01:10:13,810 The Ironmen seem to have our Muskrats 1122 01:10:13,940 --> 01:10:15,770 completely fooled out there. 1123 01:10:21,380 --> 01:10:26,260 And that's another six, now seven points for the Ironmen, 1124 01:10:26,390 --> 01:10:31,310 which puts our Muskrats at a pathetic 18 to zip. 1125 01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:34,570 Well the good news is the first half is almost over. 1126 01:10:34,700 --> 01:10:36,620 The bad news is there's still another 30 1127 01:10:36,750 --> 01:10:38,710 minutes of this massacre to go. 1128 01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:40,190 [banging] 1129 01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:41,190 RODNEY: I'm in here. 1130 01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:42,190 Could you let me out? 1131 01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:43,540 Hey! 1132 01:10:43,670 --> 01:10:45,150 Hey, if anyone's out there, I'm in here. 1133 01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:46,150 Could you let me out? 1134 01:10:46,280 --> 01:10:48,630 You gotta let me outta here. 1135 01:10:48,760 --> 01:10:49,590 Well, hey! 1136 01:10:52,980 --> 01:10:55,510 Ah, I owe ya one, pal. 1137 01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:58,900 I love this guy! 1138 01:10:59,030 --> 01:11:01,380 [crowd boos] 1139 01:11:01,510 --> 01:11:03,080 Look out. Comin' through. 1140 01:11:03,210 --> 01:11:03,950 Look out, squirt. 1141 01:11:06,860 --> 01:11:08,300 Rodney, where have you been? 1142 01:11:08,430 --> 01:11:09,870 Oh, man, it's a long story. 1143 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,700 But here it goes. 1144 01:11:11,830 --> 01:11:13,350 That Axwell guy, he talked Coach Decker into throwing the game. 1145 01:11:13,480 --> 01:11:14,220 What? 1146 01:11:14,350 --> 01:11:15,480 They can't do that! 1147 01:11:15,610 --> 01:11:17,350 Well, who's going to stop them? 1148 01:11:17,480 --> 01:11:18,220 We are! 1149 01:11:18,350 --> 01:11:19,660 Yeah, right. 1150 01:11:19,790 --> 01:11:21,010 With what? 1151 01:11:21,140 --> 01:11:22,050 Don't you see? 1152 01:11:22,180 --> 01:11:24,450 We're the last line of defense. 1153 01:11:24,580 --> 01:11:26,840 It's the Battle of the Bulge and it's up to us 1154 01:11:26,970 --> 01:11:30,060 to hold the Greek hoards off the Pacific fleet. 1155 01:11:30,190 --> 01:11:31,190 So what do we do, Ernest? 1156 01:11:34,670 --> 01:11:37,110 Luckily, I've got an idea I've been saving 1157 01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:39,420 for just such an occasion. 1158 01:11:39,550 --> 01:11:40,850 Does this make water? Does it? 1159 01:11:40,990 --> 01:11:42,120 We need your help! 1160 01:11:42,250 --> 01:11:43,860 The fate of our school depends on us. 1161 01:11:43,990 --> 01:11:47,430 Bobby, for Chickasaw Falls. 1162 01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:50,600 For truth, justice, and the Germanic American way. 1163 01:11:50,730 --> 01:11:52,170 [speaking german] Um. 1164 01:11:52,300 --> 01:11:53,740 - Maisy. - Maisy. 1165 01:11:53,870 --> 01:11:55,130 Great, OK. 1166 01:11:55,260 --> 01:11:56,220 Ernest is going to stall as long as he can. 1167 01:11:56,350 --> 01:11:58,000 Here's what we need. - OK. 1168 01:11:58,130 --> 01:11:59,260 OK, we're going to need some sleeping gas with gas masks-- 1169 01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:00,480 CHICK [ON PA]: And now, the marching 1170 01:12:00,610 --> 01:12:02,920 Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls. 1171 01:12:03,050 --> 01:12:04,400 [crowd boos] 1172 01:12:04,530 --> 01:12:07,750 No, not your marching band. 1173 01:12:07,880 --> 01:12:09,580 They do try very hard. 1174 01:12:09,710 --> 01:12:11,020 There won't be this kind of embarrassment 1175 01:12:11,150 --> 01:12:12,280 at the new school. 1176 01:12:12,410 --> 01:12:13,450 CHICK [ON PA]: Now it's time to get 1177 01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:15,320 down and do the funky Muskrat! 1178 01:12:20,810 --> 01:12:23,640 [SINGING] Get your soul food a la king, Muskrats marching 1179 01:12:23,770 --> 01:12:26,420 to a James Brown thing. 1180 01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:28,510 Homeboy's grooving down the street, 1181 01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:30,950 got his mojo working on a Muskrat beat. 1182 01:12:39,570 --> 01:12:42,870 [players yelling] 1183 01:12:46,530 --> 01:12:49,840 [gas hissing] 1184 01:12:57,020 --> 01:12:59,370 Good, boys, the towels. 1185 01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:02,550 Right now, their vision is getting very blurry. 1186 01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,850 A sense of well-being is creeping over them. 1187 01:13:04,980 --> 01:13:09,680 They're experiencing vertigo and a strong desire to lie down. 1188 01:13:09,810 --> 01:13:11,470 OK, turn it off, Bobby. 1189 01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,030 Let's go. 1190 01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:15,040 Remember guys, this is very powerful sleeping gas. 1191 01:13:15,170 --> 01:13:16,820 So keep those masks on tight. 1192 01:13:16,950 --> 01:13:18,260 Go on, go on! 1193 01:13:18,390 --> 01:13:20,690 [players snoring] 1194 01:13:20,820 --> 01:13:23,520 [lullaby playing] 1195 01:13:25,130 --> 01:13:26,700 RODNEY: Maisy, this isn't going to work. 1196 01:13:26,830 --> 01:13:28,350 We can't play football. 1197 01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:30,360 MAISY: We can play better than these guys are playing. 1198 01:13:30,490 --> 01:13:31,530 Come on, you guys. 1199 01:13:31,660 --> 01:13:33,270 Lets get these uniforms off them. 1200 01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:35,360 Someone's gotta try and win this game. 1201 01:13:35,490 --> 01:13:38,320 [crowd cheering] 1202 01:13:38,450 --> 01:13:40,760 CHICK [ON PA]: Would you please put your hands together 1203 01:13:40,890 --> 01:13:43,930 for the amazing horns in space! 1204 01:13:44,060 --> 01:13:47,370 [fast paced horns playing] 1205 01:13:58,990 --> 01:14:02,390 Symmetry and artistry join hands with Ed's TV 1206 01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:06,300 and Appliance to bring you the graceful spiral of life. 1207 01:14:24,370 --> 01:14:26,240 [crowd cheers] 1208 01:14:26,370 --> 01:14:29,110 The Sabre Dance. 1209 01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:32,290 [MUSIC - ARAM KHACHATURIAN, "THE SABRE DANCE"] 1210 01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:45,390 GERTA: OK, kids, look, this is-- 1211 01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:47,950 All right, good work, get out there man. 1212 01:14:48,090 --> 01:14:48,960 So far, so good. 1213 01:14:49,090 --> 01:14:50,170 That was the easy part. 1214 01:14:50,300 --> 01:14:51,350 We better go see how Ernest is doing. 1215 01:14:51,480 --> 01:14:52,660 OK. 1216 01:14:52,790 --> 01:14:53,700 Come on 'Rats band, let's go get 'em! 1217 01:14:53,830 --> 01:14:56,310 All right guys, lets do it! 1218 01:14:56,440 --> 01:14:58,270 GERTA: I hope being quarterback doesn't go to Ernest's head! 1219 01:15:02,270 --> 01:15:05,970 The most important thing is that a team have a leader. 1220 01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:07,500 A star. 1221 01:15:07,630 --> 01:15:10,240 A bright light that shines through the darkness 1222 01:15:10,370 --> 01:15:12,500 so that others may follow. 1223 01:15:12,630 --> 01:15:15,290 And I am that man. 1224 01:15:15,420 --> 01:15:16,810 DONALD: That sounds familiar. 1225 01:15:16,940 --> 01:15:20,900 In my prime, I was known as Crazy Legs Worrell. 1226 01:15:21,030 --> 01:15:24,080 So just give me the ball and watch the show, 1227 01:15:24,210 --> 01:15:25,730 know what I mean? 1228 01:15:25,860 --> 01:15:27,250 CHICK [ON PA]: The Muskrats look much the worse 1229 01:15:27,390 --> 01:15:30,130 for wear and no wonder after the brutal beating 1230 01:15:30,260 --> 01:15:31,130 they've taken thus far. 1231 01:15:33,780 --> 01:15:34,520 Hut! 1232 01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,450 CHICK [ON PA]: These Muskrats are 1233 01:15:46,580 --> 01:15:49,280 playing like they don't deserve to be in championship game. 1234 01:15:49,410 --> 01:15:52,760 And, in this man's opinion, are a disgrace to the proud colors 1235 01:15:52,890 --> 01:15:54,240 of Chickasaw Falls. 1236 01:16:03,770 --> 01:16:06,600 Ladies and gentlemen, oh the humanity, 1237 01:16:06,730 --> 01:16:08,470 never can I recall a more wretched 1238 01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:10,990 display of physical ineptitude. 1239 01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:14,870 And with the score standing an embarrassing 39 to nothing 1240 01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,570 there is no joy in Mundale tonight. 1241 01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:19,740 Ernest, come with me. 1242 01:16:19,870 --> 01:16:21,220 Come. 1243 01:16:21,350 --> 01:16:23,400 I know that philosophically using this device 1244 01:16:23,530 --> 01:16:27,100 may be repugnant to your sense of sportsmanship and fair play, 1245 01:16:27,230 --> 01:16:30,140 but quite frankly my friend I think it is high time we 1246 01:16:30,270 --> 01:16:35,980 introduce the Ironmen to the new and improved 1247 01:16:36,110 --> 01:16:38,940 subatomic brain accelerator. 1248 01:16:39,070 --> 01:16:40,370 Make me a master Muskrat. 1249 01:16:40,500 --> 01:16:41,240 Great! 1250 01:16:41,370 --> 01:16:43,030 Let's hurry! 1251 01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:45,720 Oh and Ernest, this time try not to act like such a jerk, hm? 1252 01:16:45,860 --> 01:16:48,550 [machine whirring] 1253 01:16:56,170 --> 01:16:56,910 [DEEP VOICE] All right. 1254 01:17:01,390 --> 01:17:05,270 Now the gloves come off. 1255 01:17:05,400 --> 01:17:07,010 CHICK [ON PA]: It looks like the Muskrats 1256 01:17:07,140 --> 01:17:11,710 are going with a new quarterback and it's Ernest P. Worrell? 1257 01:17:11,840 --> 01:17:13,400 The Muskrats have the ball fourth and 27 1258 01:17:13,530 --> 01:17:16,490 at their own 49 yard line and it looks 1259 01:17:16,630 --> 01:17:18,020 like they're going for it. 1260 01:17:18,150 --> 01:17:21,240 I guess they figured they've got nothing to lose. 1261 01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:24,150 ERNEST: 39 hut, hut, hut. 1262 01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:27,640 [theme song] 1263 01:17:32,730 --> 01:17:34,080 Go, Ernest, go! 1264 01:17:34,210 --> 01:17:35,080 Bring home the bacon! 1265 01:17:35,210 --> 01:17:35,990 [pig squeals] 1266 01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:37,520 Oh, sorry, Mogley. 1267 01:17:37,650 --> 01:17:38,520 Beep, beep, beep. 1268 01:17:53,050 --> 01:17:56,100 The Muskrats have the ball and they're finally on the move. 1269 01:17:56,230 --> 01:18:00,760 [FOOTBALL PLAYERS CLAP AND BREAK] 1270 01:18:00,890 --> 01:18:05,630 37, 25, a one two, a one two three hut. 1271 01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:08,330 [ballet music] 1272 01:18:08,460 --> 01:18:11,070 [football players groaning] 1273 01:18:20,650 --> 01:18:22,260 [whistle blowing] 1274 01:18:22,390 --> 01:18:24,000 CHICK [ON PA]: It looks like the Muskrats have the Ironmen 1275 01:18:24,130 --> 01:18:27,480 completely baffled out there. 1276 01:18:27,610 --> 01:18:30,920 [waltz music] 1277 01:18:34,090 --> 01:18:36,880 [football players questioning] 1278 01:18:52,460 --> 01:18:55,900 [whistle blowing] 1279 01:18:56,030 --> 01:18:57,200 Ha, ha, ha. 1280 01:18:57,330 --> 01:18:58,860 I don't know what's gotten into them, 1281 01:18:58,990 --> 01:19:02,170 but the Muskrats look like a different team out there. 1282 01:19:02,300 --> 01:19:03,560 Animals, right. 1283 01:19:03,690 --> 01:19:06,560 You are a wolverine. 1284 01:19:06,690 --> 01:19:11,520 OK, you are a, uh, rhinoceros. 1285 01:19:11,650 --> 01:19:14,960 You are a fuzzy little mouse, but you're mean, 1286 01:19:15,090 --> 01:19:17,880 you're vicious. 1287 01:19:18,010 --> 01:19:21,310 [ernest laughs] 1288 01:19:22,970 --> 01:19:27,760 And the extra point is good! 1289 01:19:27,890 --> 01:19:29,800 There's the kick off. 1290 01:19:29,930 --> 01:19:32,370 And the Muskrats bring 'em down near mid-field. 1291 01:19:32,500 --> 01:19:35,500 But with just 20 seconds left on the clock, 1292 01:19:35,630 --> 01:19:38,900 it looks like the valiant heroics are all for naught. 1293 01:19:39,030 --> 01:19:40,940 All right, so what do we do now, Ernest? 1294 01:19:41,070 --> 01:19:43,340 I don't know, fellas, I'm fresh out of ideas. 1295 01:19:43,470 --> 01:19:44,340 Leave it to me guys. 1296 01:19:44,470 --> 01:19:45,560 Here's what we do. 1297 01:19:45,690 --> 01:19:47,470 OK, I'll need your help. [WHISPERS] 1298 01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:51,210 Off-center and then you guys back me up. 1299 01:19:51,340 --> 01:19:53,300 Yoo-hoo, number 57! 1300 01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:58,310 Hey, you're cute. 1301 01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:05,620 [violin playing romantic song] 1302 01:20:05,750 --> 01:20:06,580 OPPOSING TEAM: Break! 1303 01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:16,370 IRONMAN PLAYER: 32. 1304 01:20:16,500 --> 01:20:17,330 32. 1305 01:20:17,460 --> 01:20:18,240 Hut! 1306 01:20:20,500 --> 01:20:21,290 MAISY: For me? 1307 01:20:21,420 --> 01:20:23,550 Thank you. 1308 01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:24,600 MUSKRAT PLAYER 1: Timeout! 1309 01:20:24,730 --> 01:20:25,990 COACH: It's the old cupid play! 1310 01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:27,950 The old cupid play! 1311 01:20:28,080 --> 01:20:29,950 What a game! 1312 01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:32,820 The Muskrats have called their last timeout with just three 1313 01:20:32,950 --> 01:20:36,260 seconds left on the clock. 1314 01:20:36,390 --> 01:20:39,570 And meanwhile, the backfield comes back 1315 01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:41,700 here to cover me on the play. 1316 01:20:41,830 --> 01:20:43,960 Any questions? 1317 01:20:44,090 --> 01:20:46,140 All right then. 1318 01:20:46,270 --> 01:20:47,140 Lets go. 1319 01:20:50,710 --> 01:20:51,800 Wait a minute! 1320 01:20:51,930 --> 01:20:52,750 Ernest! 1321 01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:53,710 Oh, Bobby! 1322 01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:55,280 Did you charge Ernest? 1323 01:20:55,410 --> 01:20:56,280 Nein! 1324 01:20:56,410 --> 01:20:57,240 Ach der lieber! 1325 01:20:57,370 --> 01:20:58,150 Ernest! 1326 01:21:16,470 --> 01:21:18,040 MUSKRAT PLAYER 1: Hey, who's that in our uniforms? 1327 01:21:18,170 --> 01:21:19,170 MUSKRAT PLAYER 2: What are they doing out there? 1328 01:21:19,300 --> 01:21:19,960 MUSKRAT PLAYER 3: What's going on? 1329 01:21:20,090 --> 01:21:20,870 ERNEST: 37. 1330 01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:22,090 21. 1331 01:21:22,220 --> 01:21:23,650 39. 1332 01:21:23,780 --> 01:21:25,220 Pi to the ninth, pi to the ninth, pi to the ninth. 1333 01:21:25,350 --> 01:21:26,140 Heba-dee. 1334 01:21:26,270 --> 01:21:28,490 [spluttering] 1335 01:21:30,010 --> 01:21:30,790 Oh, boy. 1336 01:21:33,930 --> 01:21:36,800 [football players grunting] 1337 01:21:38,450 --> 01:21:39,800 [ernest groaning] 1338 01:21:39,930 --> 01:21:42,760 [fast paced jazz music] 1339 01:21:44,980 --> 01:21:45,760 IRONMAN PLAYER 2: I got him! 1340 01:21:45,890 --> 01:21:46,760 I got him! 1341 01:21:50,900 --> 01:21:51,860 Hey, Ernest! 1342 01:21:51,990 --> 01:21:52,770 Ernest! 1343 01:21:52,900 --> 01:21:54,250 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 1344 01:21:54,380 --> 01:21:55,250 Ow yeah! 1345 01:22:09,440 --> 01:22:10,220 Uh-oh. 1346 01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:18,710 Come on baby! 1347 01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:19,710 Come on, do it! 1348 01:22:22,890 --> 01:22:25,190 CHICKASAW PLAYER 1: You can make it, Ernest! 1349 01:22:25,320 --> 01:22:27,670 CHICKASAW PLAYER 2: You're almost there! 1350 01:22:27,810 --> 01:22:29,200 GERTA: You can make it! 1351 01:22:29,330 --> 01:22:32,680 [ernest laughing] 1352 01:22:35,330 --> 01:22:36,160 Oh, yeah. 1353 01:22:47,780 --> 01:22:50,650 [ernest yelling] 1354 01:22:53,270 --> 01:22:56,090 [wind howling] 1355 01:23:22,210 --> 01:23:23,210 I got it! I got it! 1356 01:23:23,340 --> 01:23:24,470 Come on, come on! 1357 01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:27,650 Right here, right here, right here! 1358 01:23:27,780 --> 01:23:28,560 I got it! 1359 01:23:28,690 --> 01:23:30,090 I got it! 1360 01:23:30,220 --> 01:23:31,610 [whistle blowing] 1361 01:23:31,740 --> 01:23:33,090 CHICK [ON PA]: The Muskrats win! 1362 01:23:33,220 --> 01:23:34,570 The Muskrats win! 1363 01:23:34,700 --> 01:23:37,010 They're the new district champions! 1364 01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,050 Yes! Yes! 1365 01:23:42,180 --> 01:23:43,050 Yes! 1366 01:23:43,190 --> 01:23:45,540 Get him off of there! 1367 01:23:45,670 --> 01:23:47,060 Get the cops! 1368 01:23:47,190 --> 01:23:53,590 Get the [inaudible] 1369 01:23:53,720 --> 01:23:54,500 Yay! 1370 01:24:04,120 --> 01:24:06,990 [ernest groaning] 1371 01:24:17,610 --> 01:24:19,400 And that's exactly why, hey! 1372 01:24:19,530 --> 01:24:22,530 I heard you trying to sell us out, you dipstick! 1373 01:24:22,660 --> 01:24:24,010 I don't know what you're talking about. 1374 01:24:24,140 --> 01:24:26,270 I never thought you'd go that far. 1375 01:24:26,400 --> 01:24:28,010 Listen, I can explain. 1376 01:24:28,140 --> 01:24:30,060 Everything I've done, I did it for the good of the school 1377 01:24:30,190 --> 01:24:31,100 system as a whole. 1378 01:24:31,230 --> 01:24:32,670 That is your opinion. 1379 01:24:32,800 --> 01:24:35,060 But I think you, along with your buddy 1380 01:24:35,190 --> 01:24:37,110 Decker, will be out looking for new jobs 1381 01:24:37,240 --> 01:24:39,020 once I tell the school board what you've been up to. 1382 01:24:39,150 --> 01:24:40,020 No! 1383 01:24:40,160 --> 01:24:40,980 Don't do that. 1384 01:24:41,110 --> 01:24:42,110 We can work something out. 1385 01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:43,810 I mean-- 1386 01:24:43,940 --> 01:24:47,030 [inaudible] [inaudible] a school that produces champions 1387 01:24:47,160 --> 01:24:49,290 isn't the kind of school any enlightened person 1388 01:24:49,430 --> 01:24:51,120 would think about closing. 1389 01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:52,210 You, you mean-- 1390 01:24:52,340 --> 01:24:54,560 Chickasaw Falls will stay open. 1391 01:24:54,690 --> 01:24:58,090 [theme song] 1392 01:25:23,680 --> 01:25:25,900 [students chattering] 1393 01:25:27,250 --> 01:25:29,550 So you actually passed the big test? 1394 01:25:29,680 --> 01:25:30,550 Unbelievable. 1395 01:25:30,680 --> 01:25:32,080 Yeah, Ernest. 1396 01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:33,560 By Friday night you'll be a high school graduate. 1397 01:25:33,690 --> 01:25:35,340 Didn't doubt you for a second, pal. 1398 01:25:35,470 --> 01:25:37,040 [NORMAL VOICE] Well you guys were a big help. 1399 01:25:37,170 --> 01:25:38,210 Thanks a lot. 1400 01:25:38,340 --> 01:25:39,300 But you know? 1401 01:25:39,430 --> 01:25:41,090 I think I had it in me all along. 1402 01:25:41,220 --> 01:25:43,480 MISS FLUGAL: Ernest? 1403 01:25:43,610 --> 01:25:44,480 [WHISPERING] Good luck, buddy. 1404 01:25:44,610 --> 01:25:45,390 Come on! 1405 01:25:51,620 --> 01:25:53,360 Ernest, I just came by to say how 1406 01:25:53,490 --> 01:25:56,880 proud I am of you for finally getting that diploma. 1407 01:25:57,010 --> 01:25:58,670 Good for you. 1408 01:25:58,800 --> 01:26:01,890 Well I couldn't have done it without you, Miss Flugal. 1409 01:26:02,020 --> 01:26:04,200 Oh I, I made you something. 1410 01:26:08,370 --> 01:26:09,850 Oh! 1411 01:26:09,980 --> 01:26:12,330 It's a music box. 1412 01:26:12,460 --> 01:26:14,290 Ernest, how sweet! 1413 01:26:14,420 --> 01:26:18,120 You made that for me? 1414 01:26:18,250 --> 01:26:20,080 [QUIETLY] Listen. 1415 01:26:20,210 --> 01:26:23,560 [shrieks loudly] 1416 01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:48,980 Hmm. 1417 01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:57,070 Once again, the right tool for the right job. 1418 01:26:57,210 --> 01:26:58,550 Know what I mean? 1419 01:26:58,680 --> 01:27:16,220 [THEME MUSIC - "HAIL TO THE MUSKRATS"] 1420 01:27:16,350 --> 01:27:19,880 Hail to the Muskrats. 1421 01:27:20,010 --> 01:27:21,620 The brave avenger Muskrats. 1422 01:27:24,800 --> 01:27:26,190 Hail to the Muskrats! 1423 01:27:26,320 --> 01:27:28,850 They do what all they do for Muskrats. 1424 01:27:28,980 --> 01:27:32,760 Cheer for the Muskrats, we're for the Muskrats! 1425 01:27:32,890 --> 01:27:36,680 Hail to the Muskrats. 1426 01:27:36,810 --> 01:27:40,860 Those fuzzy mighty Muskrats. 1427 01:27:40,990 --> 01:27:45,640 Hail to the Muskrats, those mangy, beaten, marvel Muskrats. 1428 01:27:45,780 --> 01:27:47,120 One day the Muskrats prevail. 1429 01:27:50,870 --> 01:27:52,830 [western music] 1430 01:28:15,150 --> 01:28:17,150 [light music] 1431 01:28:23,900 --> 01:28:25,820 [fast paced music] 1432 01:28:39,480 --> 01:28:42,350 [theme music] 98953