All language subtitles for Cake.2005.1080p.WEB.H264-DiMEPiECE.

[ woman speaking
foreign language over P.A. ]

[ stamps pounding ]

[ airplane taking off ]

[ bicycle bell ringing ]

[ stamps pounding ]

[ birds chirping ]

[ music playing ]

Crowd:
OLE! OLE!

WHOO!

[ laughs ]

I LOVE THIS!

I LOVE YOU!

PIPPA...

YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO SAY--

I CAN'T
HEAR YOU, DIEGO!

Diego: PIPPA,
YOU MISSED IT.

SLOW DOWN.

THANK YOU
FOR EVERYTHING.

BUT I WANT
YOU TO STAY.

THAT IS SO SWEET.

YEAH, BUT...

I COULD
COME WITH YOU.

I'LL CALL YOU!
MIGHT MISS IT.

PIPPA!

[ sighs ]

OH.

AM I HAVING
A HEART ATTACK?

CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE THIS IS?

THANK YOU.

[ tires squeal ]

- PLANE LATE, TRAFFIC.
I'M SORRY.
- GO.

IT'S GREAT
TO SEE YOU.

- GO, GO.
- [ taxi honks ]

OH, SHIT,
I ONLY HAVE EUROS.

GO, PLEASE!

[ sobbing ]

SWEETIE? HONEY?

MASCARA. PRIORITIES.

I HATE HER!

I KNOW, SWEETHEART,
BUT YOU--

I'M SORRY.

Pippa:
I'M HERE, I'M SORRY.

I HATE YOU!

OH, WELL, THAT'S
'CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT

TO BE FOREVER FAITHFUL.
I MEAN, YOU MUST
HATE EVERYONE.

THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT
YOU SOMETHING BLUE.

[ laughs ]

JEANNIE!

YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!

EVEN FROM HERE.

IT'S CALLED
A BRAZILIAN.

[ wedding music begins ]

OH, SHIT!

OH, MY GOD.
OKAY, LET'S GO.

LET'S GO.

WELCOME BACK,
SHITHEAD.

- NICE TO SEE YOU, ASSFACE.
- LIAR.

[ chuckles ]

[ giggling, grunting ]

MARTINI?

HUH?

OH...

[ laughing ]

KEEP THE PANTIES.
WHOO!

- WELL DONE.
- THANK YOU.

NOTHING LIKE
A BRIDESMAID'S DRESS

TO ADD A SUBTLE
SHEEN OF DESPERATION

TO ANY PARTY.

WORKS FOR YOU.

OH, TOTALLY WORKS.
HERE.

I CAN'T TAKE IT.
IT'S LIKE NOAH'S ARK
IN THERE.

TWO BY TWO,
BY SHOOT ME NOW.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
CRY ME A RIVER.

I'M THE ONE
STUCK HERE

BURNING CLIFF
AND JANE PARTY
COMPILATION CDs.

I MEAN, WHAT DID
YOU DO TODAY?

I RAN WITH THE BULLS.

IS THAT LIKE
A METAPHOR?

- THEN I JUMPED OUT OF A PLANE.
- ALONE?

- I HAD A GUIDE.
- CONDOMS?

YOU'RE THE ONE DOING
THE BUSHWHACKING OVER THERE

WITH WEDDING SEX LUKE.

JEALOUS?

TOTALLY.

I'VE SLEPT WITH
EVERYONE HERE. I'M
RADICALLY OUT OF OPTIONS.

I WISH YOU WERE
STAYING LONGER
THAN THE WEEKEND.

I'M A TRAVEL WRITER.

YOU'VE BEEN
"TRAVELING"
FOR EIGHT YEARS.

WHAT SIZE BRA
DID YOU GUYS BUY ME?

- SAME AS ALWAYS.
- OOH.

I GUESS YOU'VE
MATURED.

HEY!

Man: NOW, MOST OF YOU KNOW
THAT JANE AND CLIFFORD

MET ON THE TRADING FLOOR.

NOW, WE'VE ALL
BEEN STIMULATED

- BY THE STOCK MARKET RECENTLY,
- [ laughs ]

NOT QUITE AS STIMULATED

AS THESE TWO FINANCIAL
LOVEBIRDS HERE.

AW!

A BEAR STERN'S MATCH
MADE IN BULL MARKET HEAVEN.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S
NOT A WEDDING.

- IT'S A MERGER.
- [ laughs ] OH, MY GOD.

SO PLEASE RAISE
YOUR GLASSES

IN A TOAST TO
THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

TO MARRIAGE,
THE HAPPY TOMB
OF LOVE.

# OOPS, OOH, BABY

# YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY

# IT'S ALL RIGHT

- # IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- I'M CUTTING HER OFF.

COME ON, SHE'S
CELEBRATING WITH
YOU, NOT AT YOU.

SHE TOLD MY FATHER
THAT HE WAS HUMPABLE!

AND I'M SURE
IT MADE HIS NIGHT.

SHE'S WEDDING
PHOBIC.

WHOO!

MY BOOBS
ARE KILLING ME!

I GOTTA GO
FIND MY BRA.

I LOVE YOU GUYS, MAN!

Man:
IT'S OVER THERE.

WHAT?

YOUR BRA, IT'S CAUGHT
IN THE EDGE OF THAT.

NO, TO YOUR LEFT.

YOUR OTHER LEFT.

THANK YOU.

I MUST HAVE
DROPPED IT.

BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.

KINDA MAKES YOU
FEEL LIKE SWIMMING.

NOT REALLY.

GIRLFRIEND? GAY?

WHAT? BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO GO SWIMMING?

DID YOUR GIRLFRIEND
PICK THAT TIE?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?

DID I SAY
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH IT?

WELL, IF YOU GOT
SOMETHING TO SAY
ABOUT MY TIE,

- FEEL FREE TO SAY IT.
- IT'S FLOWERY.

IT'S BOSS.

BOSS? SORRY.

DON'T BE. IT'S...

ALWAYS GOOD TO HEAR
WHAT A GIRL THINKS
OF YOUR TIE.

ESPECIALLY A GIRL
IN WET PINK TAFFETA.

I DIDN'T PICK
THIS DRESS.

I DIDN'T
PICK THE TIE.

GOOD, THEN.

HEY, YOU'RE
SOAKING WET.

COME ON. LET'S
GET YOU IN A CAB.

FORGET IT. IT'S
NOT EVEN MIDNIGHT.

[ clanging ]

IN SOME CULTURES,
THE CLOSING OF THE BAR

SIGNALS THE END
OF THE EVENING.

WELL, IN SOME
CULTURES, MEN DON'T
FOLLOW WOMEN AROUND,

WHEN THEY'RE NOT WANTED.

I THINK THAT'S
A MEASURING CUP.

THAT IS SO
REFRESHINGLY LITERAL.

AND YOU ARE
REFRESHINGLY DRUNK.

I AM REFRESHINGLY
REFRESHED.

THANK YOU.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO HOME.

I JUST NEED TO FIND
SOME SOCKS OR SOMETHING.

MY FEET ARE FREEZING.

SOCKS, OFTEN FOUND
IN HOTEL KITCHENS.

REALLY?

NO.

SO, YOU'RE LITERAL,
AND YOU'RE A PESSIMIST.

IF I WAS A COOK,

I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE
A PAIR OF SOCKS ON HAND

FOR LIKE, AN UNFORTUNATE
KITCHEN ACCIDENT,

OR KITCHEN SPILLAGE.

SIT.

YOU'RE NOT
THE BOSS OF ME.

ENOUGH. OKAY?

UH...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
ONE LITTLE KISS?

I DON'T THINK
YOU'LL REMEMBER IT.

SO?

YEAH, THAT'S
KIND OF MY POINT.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY
AND HAVE A DRINK?

WE CAN TALK ALL ABOUT
YOUR VERY IMPORTANT POINT.

I THINK I BETTER GO.

MOST
OF THE TIME...

I DON'T FEEL ALONE.

I TRAVEL.

I HAVE MY LIFE.
BUT SOMETIMES,

YOU KNOW, YOU COME HOME,
AND IT'S LIKE...

EVERYBODY'S GOT
SOMEBODY TO DANCE WITH.

WE COULD DANCE.

THE ONLY
THING IS, JOEY,

IF WE START DANCING,

WE MIGHT AS WELL
THROW IN THE TOWEL.

START WEARING
RELAXED FIT DOCKERS,

AND HEAD OFF
TO IKEA

TO EAT MEATBALLS
WITH OUR IN-VITRO
TWINS.

RIGHT, JOEY?

CAN YOU MAKE SURE
SHE GETS HOME OKAY?

I'VE GOT MY OWN MONEY.

EXCUSE ME, DO YOU
TAKE EUROS?

[ taxi drives away ]

[ humming ]

[ dogs barking ]

[ door unlocking, opening ]

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I'M HOME.

YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.

I DIDN'T WANT
TO WAKE YOU UP.

WELL, THEN DON'T
CLIMB UP MY HOUSE AT
2:00 IN THE MORNING.

UGH!

OH, PHILIPPA.

THE KEY WAS
UNDER THE MAT.

DAD?

I'M SORRY.

I WISH YOU'D TOLD ME
THAT YOU WERE COMING HOME.

- [ snaps fingers ]
- YOU WOULD HAVE BAKED A CAKE?

I SHOULD'VE.

- I MEANT TO.
- I WORRY ABOUT YOU.

RUNNING AROUND,
DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT.

I'M FREELANCE,
YOU KNOW THAT.

I WANT YOU TO
GET A REAL JOB,

SOMETHING THAT YOU
CAN COMMIT TO.

AND START MAKING
A LIFE FOR YOURSELF.

I HAVE A LIFE.

DAD?

MADE YOU SOME BREAKFAST.

SORRY ABOUT
LAST NIGHT.

I WAS A LITTLE
JET-LAGGED.

DAD?

- DADDY?
- [ tray crashes ]

[ siren wailing ]

[ breathing, monitor beeping ]

[ man talking over P.A. ]

WHAT HAPPENED?

DADDY, OH, MY GOD,
I SHOULD GO GET
THE DOCTOR.

HEART ATTACK? A STROKE?

I'M SO SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

BOTH?

NO, NO, JUST
A HEART ATTACK.

OH. WELL...

WHAT A RELIEF.

I NEED MY DAY BOOK.

YOU DIDN'T
BRING IT WITH YOU?

IN THE AMBULANCE?

I NEED TO CALL IAN.
FILL HIM IN.

I'M IN TROUBLE HERE.

DAD, YOU'RE
IN INTENSIVE CARE.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
CONSIDER RELAXING.

WELL, THAT'S
THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN US.

WELL, I'M HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

SO JUST LET ME
HELP YOU. TELL ME
WHAT YOU NEED.

[ sighs ] I NEED
A TOOTHBRUSH.

I NEED AN EDITOR,

AND I NEED MY DAY BOOK.

LUCY WARD QUIT.

ONE OF MY EDITORS.

NO NOTICE. NO,
IDIOT GETS AN OFFER
FROM "THE GLOBE"

SHE CAN'T REFUSE.

[ sighs ]

I CAN DO IT.

FINE, GOOD.
IT'S ON MY DESK.

NO, I CAN EDIT ONE
OF YOUR MAGAZINES.

I'M A JOURNALIST,
I'VE WORKED AT
A DOZEN MAGAZINES.

I CAN HANDLE IT.

OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

WHICH MAGAZINE?

YOU NEVER EDITED
A MAGAZINE.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR
YEARS, I'M IN THE BUSINESS.

JUST LET
ME HELP YOU,
PLEASE, FOR ONCE.

YOU NEVER THINK
I CAN DO ANYTHING.

JUST TELL ME
WHICH MAGAZINE.

"LAWNS AND BLOOMS"?

"TENNIS QUARTERLY"?

I MEAN, JUST UNTIL
HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET,

AND THEN HE'S GONNA
HIRE SOMEONE REAL.

HIS WORDS.

OH, NICE.

"LOFT LIVING"?

I MEAN, I GUESS
HE'S RIGHT,

I NEVER
EDITED A MAGAZINE.

WELL, AS LONG
AS IT'S NOT
"TRUCKS WEEKLY."

OH, MY GOD.

IT'S NOT "TRUCKS WEEKLY."

"WEDDING BELLS"?

LULU, I OFFERED TO EDIT
A BRIDAL MAGAZINE.

IT'S A SHRINE
TO COMMITMENT,
AND I'M A SLUT.

I'M A FUCK SLUT
HALF-ORPHAN,

- AND I START WORK ON MONDAY.
- OH, SWEETIE.

YOU'RE NOT
AN ORPHAN.

SHIT!

[ elevator bell rings ]

Man:
MS. McGEE, I PRESUME.

IT'S PIPPA, PLEASE.
AND YOU ARE?

FRANK.
NO LAST NAME.

HMM. LIKE CHER?

WHO?

YOU KNOW, CHER?

- SHE'S FAMOUS?
- I'M KIDDING.

FUNNY.
[ laughs ]

WELL, THAT'S
GOOD. FUNNY'S GOOD
IN AN ASSISTANT,

'CAUSE I'M GONNA
BE YOURS.

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU FIRE ME.

PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME.

I'M AN UTTER DELIGHT
IN THE BOARDROOM,
I CAN ASSURE YOU.

"BOARD" BEING
THE OPERATIVE TERM.

NOW, EVERYONE'S WILDLY
EXCITED TO MEET YOU,

NEVER HAVING HEARD
OF YOU, OF COURSE.

WELL, LET'S PUT A PIN
IN THE TOUCHY-FEELY STUFF,

FOR THE MASSES AWAIT.

GOOD PANTS, BY THE WAY.
VERY SHOCK AND AWE.

SO THAT'S THE STORY.
[ laughs ]

MY DAD ASKED ME
TO FILL IN.

IT'S JUST TEMPORARY
UNTIL HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET.

THAT BEING SAID, I AM
COMMITTED TO MAKING
THE BEST OF THIS.

BUT... I GOTTA BE HONEST.

I MEAN, I SEE MARRIAGE
AS A KIND OF A PRISON.

IT'S A PLACE WHERE
FREEDOM AND CHOICE

- AND SENSUALITY GO TO DIE.
- [ cigarette lighter clicking ]

I MEAN, I'M STILL TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT WHY,

IN A WORLD OF CHOICE

AND FEMINISM AND
SERIAL MONOGAMY,

IN A CHAOTIC UNIVERSE
OF INFIDELITY

AND COUPLE'S COUNSELING,

IN A FRAGMENTED TOPOGRAPHY
OF DIVORCE AND NIHILISM,

WHY THE MODERN WOMAN
WOULD WANT TO GET MARRIED.

I MEAN, TO ME, THESE
ARE VERY INTERESTING
QUESTIONS.

- [ smoke alarm beeping ]
- All: AH, OOH.

ANYWAY, I GUESS WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,

LET'S PUSH
THE STATUS QUO,

BUT NOT BE PUSHED BY IT.

LET'S KEEP THINGS
IN PERSPECTIVE.

LET'S HAVE FUN.

Man:
I'LL CALL THEM.

[ dialing ]

[ ringing ]

BROOK CLINIC, HELLO?

LULU? CAN YOU HEAR ME?

VAGUELY.

MY GOD, IT WORKS!
I'M JANET JACKSON.

[ screams ]

OH, FIRST DAY, LADY.

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING
OVER THERE?

IT'S A TOTAL NIGHTMARE,
BUT I'M FAKING MY WAY
THROUGH IT.

THE WALLS ARE PINK,

AND I CAN'T SMOKE.
IT SUCKS.

WELL, YOU SOUND
VERY POSITIVE.

[ chuckles ]
UH, BAD TIME?

HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

EXCUSE ME?

DO YOU WANT YOUR MONEY
BACK FROM THE OTHER NIGHT?

Lulu over phone:
WHAT? HELLO?

[ dial tone ]

I'M ACTUALLY
SURPRISED
YOU REMEMBER.

I GUESS THAT'S FAIR.
I WAS A LITTLE JET-LAGGED.

YOU WERE LOADED.

- TOMATO, TOMAHTO.
- RIGHT.

LET'S CALL
THE WHOLE THING OFF.

SO WHO THE HECK
IS PHILIPPA McGEE?

- YOU'RE IAN?
- I AM.

IAN GRAY?
MY DAD'S VICE PRESIDENT?

I TALKED TO HIM
THIS MORNING.

HE ASKED ME TO COME
DOWN AND SUPERVISE
THE FIRST FEW WEEKS,

MAKE SURE
YOU WERE SET UP.

WELL, HE SAID
HE TRUSTED ME
WITH THIS.

I THOUGHT
HE TRUSTED ME.

GUYS? I'M GONNA BE
IN THAT OFFICE RIGHT THERE.

FRANK? IS THIS DECAF?

- YES, SIR.
- DECAF?

LOOK, I'M SURE
HE TRUSTS YOU.

YOU'RE HIS DAUGHTER.

YOU'RE A GROWN-UP.
I'M SIMPLY HERE TO--

[ cell phone ringing
"Funkytown" ]

[ ringing stops ]

MEETING'S IN AN HOUR.

MS. NIGHTLY?

MS. I.P. NIGHT--

NOT FUNNY. THIS IS
A PLACE OF WORK.

I WAS WONDERING
ABOUT THE SPONGE.

DO YOU THINK
IT'S TOO DRIPPY?

OH, FOR YOU, PERHAPS
I'D SUGGEST SOMETHING

A LITTLE MORE PERMANENT,
LIKE NORPLANT.

FOLLOW ME.

DO YOU WANNA
GO TO LUNCH?
I'M THINKING SUSHI.

IT'S 10:30.

YOUR POINT?

YOU'RE GOING BACK
TO THE OFFICE.

THERE'S A PROBLEM,
IT'S A LITTLE
COMPLICATED.

OH, OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT IS ALWAYS
COMPLICATED, BUT, HONEY,

YOU ARE THE BOSS.
YOU'RE IN CHARGE.

JUST TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

I HAVE INSTINCTS?

OH, YEAH, YOU ARE
ALL INSTINCT.

NOW GO.
I AM WATCHING.

WALK, PLEASE, WALK.

HEY, GUYS...

I JUST WANTED
TO LIAISON THIS WHOLE

MANAGEMENT SHUFFLE
SITUATION.

LOOK, WE ALL
KNOW THIS MAGAZINE'S
IN TROUBLE, ALL RIGHT?

WE NEED TO, ONE,
STRATEGIZE.

TWO, COMPROMISE.
THREE--

JAZZERCISE.

[ chuckles ]

THEORIZE.

ROXANNE, UH, COULD
YOU TELL US A LITTLE
BIT MORE ABOUT OUR READERS?

I MEAN, ASSUMING THAT
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

SECONDHAND SMOKE,
IAN, BUT THANK YOU
FOR ASKING.

OUR READERS ARE BETWEEN
THE AGES OF 24 AND 31,

ENGAGED,
PRIMARILY CAUCASIAN--

ENGAGED MIDDLE-CLASS WHITE
CHICKS BUY THIS MAGAZINE,
THAT'S A SHOCKER.

[ stifled laugh ]

[ coughs ]

IS THIS, LIKE,
AMUSING... TO YOU?

I THINK PIPPA'S
A LITTLE JET-LAGGED.

NO, I'M JUST CURIOUS.
I MEAN, HAS ANYONE HERE

EVER THOUGHT
ABOUT DOING SOMETHING
RELEVANT FOR A CHANGE,

SOMETHING INVESTIGATIVE?

OKAY... DIVORCE
STATISTICS, DEATH OF
SEX IN MODERN MARRIAGE,

THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT,
WIFE BEATING--

THAT'S NOT OUR MAGAZINE.

WHY NOT?

WE'RE NOT RE-INVENTING
THE WHEEL HERE.

I DISAGREE.
THE WHEEL IS SQUEAKY.

IT'S RATTLING, AND IT'S
NOT A FRIGGIN' BUGGY!

I MEAN, "GIDDY UP
OLD YELLER,

LET'S MOSEY ON OVER
TO THE MONOGRAMMED
NAPKINS."

- OLD YELLER IS A DOG.
- COME ON!

LOOK, YOU WANT
TO DISCUSS A NEW DIRECTION,

FINE, WE'LL DO IT, BUT
NOT IN FRONT OF THE STAFF.

OH, WOW, YOU REALLY
LEARNED AT THE KNEE OF
MY FATHER, DIDN'T YOU?

YOU DON'T LISTEN, DO YOU?

I WANT A CHANCE
TO DO THIS BY MYSELF.

OKAY.

ANYWAY, IAN HAS AGREED
TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

AT LEAST
FOR THE FIRST ISSUE.

I TAKE IT
YOUR DAD
LIKES HIM.

TOTALLY. HE'S EVERYTHING
MY DAD WOULD LOVE.

HE JOGS FOR FUN.

HE TALKS ABOUT
MULTITASKING AND "LIAISING."

HELLO, THAT'S NOT A VERB.

ANYWAY, HE HAS
NO IMAGINATION.

I MEAN, WHAT IS WRONG
WITH A COVER SHOOT
AT THE SKY DECK?

INSURANCE.
ACCESS.
WEATHER--

OKAY, THAT DOESN'T COUNT,
YOU'RE A CONSULTANT.

YOU COULD FIND
A PROBLEM IN PARADISE

- IF GOD PAID YOU ENOUGH.
- MM-HMM.

OKAY, I'M SEEING
SOMETHING LIKE

LANDMARK KITSCH.

KIND OF...
POST-STRUCTURALIST.

BRIDAL BAUDRILLARD.

OH, YEAH, YOUR DAD
WILL LOVE IT.

HE'S OUT OF IT.

CERTAINLY MAKES
CONVERSATION EASIER.

Rachel:
OH, MY GOD,
WHAT IS THAT?

THIS IS A LESSON.

NEVER IMPULSE BUY
ON PEYOTE.

NO, NO, NO. I LOVE IT.
I LOVE IT. GIVE IT.

SOLD.

THANK YOU.

FUTONS ARE STILL
KINDA ZEN, RIGHT?

SURE. IF YOU'RE 12.

WHEN DID YOU GUYS
GET SO BOURGEOIS?

OH, SWEETIE.
YOU'RE AN ADULT.

YOU'RE ALLOWED
TO BUY A BED.

THIS IS GOOD.

- I'M FINE.
- GOOD.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

OKAY, SNAPPY,
GROOVY, ONE WORD.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH "WEDDING BELLS"?

TWO WORDS.
OKAY, "RING," "ROCK."

"I DO."

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S-- THAT'S TWO WORDS.

- SORRY.
- HI.

HI, I THOUGHT WE HAD
AN APPOINTMENT FOR NOON,

BUT IF THIS
IS A BAD TIME--

NO, NO. THIS IS
A REALLY GOOD TIME.

PLEASE COME IN.

HEMINGWAY JONES,
FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER?

OH, RIGHT.
OF COURSE.

FRANK, CAN YOU
GET ME A COFFEE?

GREAT NAME.

- THANKS, MY MOM WANTED
ME TO BE A WRITER.
- [ mouthing ]

HEMINGWAY'S
A BIG FAVORITE
OF MINE.

[ mouths ]

ME, TOO. HARD
TO LIVE UP TO, THOUGH.

RUNNING WITH THE BULLS
AND A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH.

THE FANTASY DIES HARD.

REALLY?
I WOULDN'T KNOW.

OH, YOU WOULDN'T?

- [ window squeaks ]
- DO YOU WANT
TO GET OUT OF HERE?

Hemingway:
I GOT SOME KITTENS,

SOME FIELDS OF FLOWERS
IN HERE SOMEWHERE. HANG ON.

Pippa:
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

[ sighs ]

HONESTLY, WHY DO
YOU WANT TO WORK
AT "WEDDING BELLS"?

HONESTLY,
I JUST NEED THE MONEY.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS?

WHY DO I DO IT?
IT'S JUST TEMPORARY.

I'M A TRAVEL WRITER.

SO, YOU'RE
NOT A BRIDAL FANATIC?

I'M NOT
A BRIDAL ANYTHING.

HMM.

WHAT ABOUT LOVE?
TOGETHER FOREVER?

"TWO HEARTS BEAT AS ONE"?

"YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE."

"YOU DON'T SEND ME
FLOWERS ANYMORE."

"QUIT PLAYING GAMES
WITH MY HEART."

"OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN."

[ chuckles ]

YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S TOTAL CHEESE.

I MEAN, FORGET THE RING.
I'D TAKE A MULTIPLE
ORGASM ANY DAY.

AMEN.

[ phone rings ]

GOOD AFTERNOON,
"WEDDING BELLS."

[ talking indistinctly ]

Roxanne:
MISS McGEE.

CAN WE GET
ONE THING STRAIGHT?

I RUN AD SALES.
AD SALES SELL ADS.

NO ADS, NO MAGAZINE.

WE MANUFACTURE ANXIETY
IN OUR READERS,

AND, IN RESPONSE,
THEY PURCHASE.

ROXANNE--

SUFFICE TO SAY,

I FIND YOUR RATHER WHIMSICAL
EDITORIAL DECISIONS

TO BE PROBLEMATIC.

FOR EXAMPLE,
THE UPCOMING COVER SHOOT.

WHILE I'M SURE YOU FIND
SATIN AND STEEL

TO BE A SASSY COMMENT
ON POST-MILLENNIAL NUPTIALS,

BETTY CROCKER WILL NOT.

WELL, I'M NOT
WRITING FOR BETTY.

THAT'S CORRECT.

YOU'RE NOT WRITING.

YOU'RE EDITING.

AND HERE'S A THOUGHT.

YOUR BLUSHING READERS
WANT THAT, TOO.

FRANK!

"BAUHAUS BRIDE"?

TOO WEIRD?

ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
HOIST HER UP.

RIGHT.

WE WANT HER FLOATING,
VERY... ETHEREAL.

UH, I THINK
WE'VE GOT A BIT
OF A NIPPLE PROBLEM.

Man:
HANG ON.

ARE YOU ALL ON CRACK?

NO NIPPLES!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

PROTECTING MY INTERESTS.

BIRKS, ASHLEY,
TUPPERWARE, TIFFANY'S--

ROXANNE, IT'S NOT
EXACTLY A BEAVER SHOT.

OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE,
PEOPLE, I WORK
ON COMMISSION.

HELLO? AMATEUR HOUR.

COME HERE, HONEY.

COME ON DOWN--
[ screams ]

- Man: WHOA! WHOA!
- EASY, EASY.

OKAY, OKAY.
BRING HER DOWN NOW.

COME HERE.
I HAVE SOME BAND-AIDS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?

WHAT? BESIDES
THE HEROIN?

GUYS, I CAN SEE
THE BAND-AIDS.

WAKE UP, YOU
TRACK-MARKED FISH STICK.

[ groggily ]
DADDY?

OKAY, AL.
CRANK HER UP.

FRANK, CALL
AN AMBULANCE.

RIGHT.

Roxanne:
THE BAUHAUS BRIDE?
WHAT ABOUT THE DEAD BRIDE?

IS THAT EDGY ENOUGH
FOR YOU?

I NEED AN AMBULANCE
TO THE ROOF--

WHERE ARE WE?

ARE YOU--
ARE YOU SURE
ABOUT THIS?

YES.

OKAY. THAT'S ALL
I NEED TO HEAR.

[ flash charging ]

Roxanne:
"'WEDDING BELLS' HAS BEEN
TAKEN OVER BY ALIENS.

ALIENS FROM
A LOVELESS PLANET.

A PLANET WHERE
HALF-NAKED ANOREXICS..."

MORNING.

"DANGLE LIKE DROWNED WITCHES
FROM BEAMS OF STEEL.

PERHAPS MISS McGEE
BELIEVES HER CYNICISM

WILL STAND OUT
FROM THE CROWD,
BUT FRANKLY--"

I'VE READ IT,
ALL RIGHT?

"SHE'S JUST ANOTHER
ROCK 'N' ROLL GROUPIE

WHO'S CRASHED
THE WRONG DAMN PARTY."

- ANY ADS PULLED YET?
- 11.

UH, PHILIPPA?

PIPPA, PLEASE.

I DON'T CARE.
GOOD-BYE.

DON'T CARE
WHAT YOUR NAME IS.

DON'T CARE
HOW MANY TIME ZONES

YOU SKIPPED THROUGH
IN YOUR ILLUSTRIOUS
FREELANCE TRAVEL CAREER...

ROXANNE.

ALL I CARE ABOUT
IS MAKING THIS
MAGAZINE A SUCCESS.

LOOK, THE COVER'S NOT
WHAT I IMAGINED.

I WAS THINKING ANGEL.
A FLOATING ANGEL.

"GETTING WHAT
YOU'RE WORTH, A GUIDE
TO BULLETPROOF PRENUPS"?

IT'S IMPORTANT
TO BE INFORMED.

"TEMPTATION HONEYMOON,
THE TALE OF A THREE-DAY
MARRIAGE."

THAT'S A TRUE STORY.

[ magazine thuds ]

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GIVE IT TO THE MAN.

SERIOUSLY.

BOB JACKMAN IS
JUST SITTING THERE,

WAITING FOR
THE RIGHT MOMENT,

WHICH YOU JUST GAVE
TO HIM ON A PLATTER.

DO YOU NOT CARE
THAT YOUR FATHER'S ABOUT
TO LOSE HIS COMPANY?

ALL HIS MAGAZINES?

BOB JACKMAN'S
A NEWSPAPER GUY.

WELL, HE'S LOOKIN'
TO EXPAND.

THE GUY'S COLLECTED
51% OF YOUR DAD'S STOCK.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I DON'T GET IT.

I MEAN, YOU'RE
RUNNING THIS THING.

YOU DON'T TALK
TO YOUR DAD. YOU
WON'T TALK TO ME.

IT'S...

[ sighs ]

WHATEVER.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST CALL ME
WHEN IT'S OVER

'CAUSE THIS IS HORSESHIT.

DAD, YOU SHOULD
HAVE TOLD ME.

I TOLD YOU
I WAS IN TROUBLE.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T
TELL ME THAT IT
WAS EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, I JUST
THOUGHT IT WAS
THE ONE MAGAZINE.

SO, WHAT?

YOU COULD SCREW AROUND?
HAVE FUN?

BE COOL AT A STUPID
WEDDING MAGAZINE?

IT WAS YOUR MOTHER'S

I THOUGHT MAYBE
THAT'D BE ENOUGH.

Woman over P.A.:
JENNIFER NELSON, 2364.
JENNIFER NELSON, 2364.

YOU KNOW, THE WORST PART,
THE MOST EMBARRASSING PART

IS THAT I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA BE GOOD.

AND I JUST END UP
DISAPPOINTING HIM.

ALL RIGHT, PIPPA,
COME ON.

YOU CAN DO THIS.
YOU JUST NEED HELP.

YOU SURROUND YOURSELF
WITH THE MOST BORING
PEOPLE YOU KNOW

AND YOU JUST
JOIN THE STATUS QUO
FOR A FEW MONTHS.

JUST LIKE THAT, HUH?

WELL, I NEED
A PARTNER IN CRIME
AND IT'S YOU, SO.

DON'T MAKE ME BEG.

THE MOST BORING PERSON
I KNOW.

CAN I HELP YOU?

COFFEE?

WHEAT GRASS?

I NEED YOUR HELP.

LOOK, I SCREWED UP.
I'M SORRY.

IAN, PLEASE, I NEED
TO MAKE THIS WORK.

"MARRIAGE IS
A TERRIBLE GAMBLE,

YET WE PERSIST
OUT OF SHEER LACK
OF IMAGINATION."

I MEAN, WHAT KIND
OF EDITOR WRITES THAT?

IT'S A WEDDING MAGAZINE.

LOOK, THERE'S NOT A LOT
OF IRONY IN THESE MAGAZINES.

I'M DOWN WITH THAT.

LOOK, IAN,
I'M SORRY. PLEASE.

[ watch beeps ]

ALL RIGHT.

I TELL YOU WHAT.
IF YOU CAN GET YOUR
STAFF BACK ON BOARD,

IF YOU CAN GET THEM
TO TRUST YOU,

RESPECT YOU MAYBE?

- LET ME KNOW.
- [ watch beeps ]

OKAY, THEN. TOMORROW.
SAME TIME, SAME PLACE?

[ breathing heavily ]

UGH!

MY BOOBS HURT.

# SKATING ON THIN ICE

# TRYIN' TO TOE THE LINE

# NO MORE ROCKIN' THE BOAT

# LOOK WHO'S ON YOUR SIDE

HEY, HEY.
LET ME HELP YOU HERE.

OKAY, THANKS.

Ian:
PITA.

GO. PEE.

[ barks ]

GO.

[ barks ]

PIPPA, IT'S 8:00
IN THE MORNING.

IT'S BARELY
AN OFFENSE,

COMPARED TO THE BUTT-UGLY THING
ON THE END OF THAT LEASH.

I HATE THIS DOG.

EX-GIRLFRIEND'S?

[ barking ]

OKAY, I'M THE BOSS.

ERGO, I AM FAIR,
THOUGHTFUL, DECISIVE,
AND GENEROUS.

LOOK, YOU WANT TO BE ABLE
TO ASK FOR THE MOON.

SO, YOU CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT
THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY ENJOY.

THE STAFF WORKS LATER,

HARDER AND SMARTER.

WOW, YOU SOUND
LIKE THE MAN.

I AM THE MAN.

- COME ON.
- [ barking ]

YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
I'M WRITING THAT DOWN.

OKAY, ROXANNE,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WAS THINKING
OF A SHIRTLESS GROOM,

POPPING OUT
OF A WEDDING CAKE.

SHIRTLESS GROOM.

[ chattering ]

HERE YOU GO.
CAREFUL, IT'S HOT.

RIGHT THERE.

[ speaking indistinctly ]

YOU'VE GOTTA
KNOW MORE ABOUT

YOUR SUBJECT MATTER
THAN ANYONE ELSE.

I SHOULD GET MARRIED
AND CHARGE IT
TO THE MAGAZINE.

OH, STORAGE SOLUTION.
THAT'S SEXY.

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BUY IT, JUST
HAVE TO SELL IT.

HOLD UP.

I CAN'T.
I'VE GOT A THING.

I'M COMING IN.

OKAY. COVER SHOT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

UH...

BORING.

IT'S BORING.
I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS...

YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT REALLY SURE

WHAT YOU'RE TRYING
TO SAY HERE. IT'S...

IT'S BIG, IT'S PUFFY,
IT'S WHITE--

OH, MY GOD,
IT'S A FANTASY.

NUPTIAL BLISS.
A DAY TO REMEMBER.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
MEMORIES THAT LAST
A LIFETIME.

I'M IN A TOWN CAR
WITH A MAGIC 8-BALL.

OKAY, LOOK, JUST PICK
A THEME AND COMMIT.

YOU EVER THOUGHT
ABOUT A FOCUS GROUP?

JUST GET
SOME PEOPLE TOGETHER,
PEOPLE YOU TRUST,

ASK THEM WHAT THEY WANT
TO SEE, AND JUST...
INTERPRET IT.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
GET OUT.

SO...

IS THAT
THE EX-GIRLFRIEND?

EX-WIFE. IT'S...
COMPLICATED.

I LIKE HER.

ROCK STAR, MODEL,
V.J., SPY?

SURGEON.

- BREAK A LEG.
- MM-HMM.

MARTINIQUE WAS FABULOUS,
BUT WE WERE SO EXHAUSTED,

WE COULD BARELY
MAKE IT TO THE BEACH.

OPENING PRESENTS,
VERY TIRING.

Pippa:
THROWING THE HEAVY BOUQUET.

HA-HA.
YOU'RE HILARIOUS.

COMMITMENT TAKES
WORK, PIPPA.

YOU'RE STILL MAD
AT ME.

I'M MARRIED.
SERENE. I'M OVER IT.

YOU WANNA START
WITHOUT RACHEL?

OH, FUCK ME!

THE FUCKING ARTICHOKE DIP'S
ON FUCKING FIRE AGAIN!

TYING THE KNOT HASN'T
TURNED JANE INTO A COOK.

GUESS SHE
CAN'T REGISTER
FOR THAT YET.

YEAH, WE CAN SAVE IT.

- [ whispering ]
I'M NOT EATING IT.
- NEITHER AM I.

NO, IT MUST HAVE
ONLY BEEN AROUND
300 THREAD COUNT.

I MEAN, THEY DIDN'T EVEN
HAVE EGYPTIAN COTTON.

OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.

NO, YOU CAN'T.
YOU JUST CAN'T.

OKAY. NOW THAT
WE ALL KNOW THAT

MARTINIQUE KICKS
FIJI'S ASS,

WELCOME TO
THE MEANING OF LIFE.

I TAKE IT YOU GUYS
ALL SAW MY FIRST ISSUE?

[ clapping ]

ARMAGEDDON
WITH SNIFF INSERTS.

OKAY, WELL,
I PREPARED
SOME QUESTIONS.

Lulu:
I GOT ONE.

I'M 31, RIGHT? SO,
HERE'S MY QUESTION--

IF I SEE ONE MORE
PERKY-BREASTED,

LOFT-LIVING, SIZE TWO,
YUMMY MUMMY

PUSHING A PRAM WITH
HER SKATEBOARDING
HUSBAND,

AM I ALLOWED
TO KILL MYSELF?

HONEY, YOU'RE
A VERY YOUNG 31.

OH, I ONLY
GOT MARRIED
LAST MONTH.

MATURE BRIDES ARE
INCREASINGLY COMMON.

HOLY SHIT,
YOU ACTUALLY FEEL
SORRY FOR US?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT,
LET'S JUST SAY
LOVE IS A GIVEN.

I MEAN, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH SHACKING UP?

I MEAN,
WHY DO YOU NEED

THE LACE AND
THE PLACE CARDS?

DID YOU SEE THE LACE
ON MY DRESS?

I MEAN,
BLIND BELGIAN NUNS
TATTING AWAY

WITH THEIR...
LITTLE BLIND FINGERS...

HELLO,
BETTER TAX BREAKS?

Woman:
OH, COME ON.
I'M A DYKE,

AND EVEN I WANT
TO DO IT.

[ doorbell rings ]

I MEAN, HAVEN'T
YOU GUYS EVER WANTED
TO GET MARRIED?

NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT
THE BIG WHITE DRESS?

I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT
THE BIG WHITE DRESS.

WHAT? I'M A VERY
VISUAL PERSON.

GUYS, GUYS,
I'M SO SORRY.

OKAY. TAKE RACHEL--

SENSIBLE, MODERN,
AMBITIOUS RACHEL.

DOES RACHEL REALLY NEED
THIS FUTILE DISPLAY
OF COMMITMENT?

WELL, ACTUALLY--

DOES RACHEL REALLY WANT
TO TIE HERSELF FINANCIALLY

TO SOME POET
WHO MAKES $3 A YEAR?

HEY, THAT'S A PHASE.
IT'S TRANSITIONAL.

DOES RACHEL REALLY NEED
A PIECE OF PAPER TO
SHOW THE WORLD

WHO SHE LOVES?

MM-MMM.

GUYS...

SIMON ASKED ME
TO MARRY HIM.

[ all gasping ]

- ON MY WAY OVER HERE.
- [ screaming ]

I TOLD HIM
I WAS COMING
OVER HERE

TO TALK ABOUT
BEING SINGLE, RIGHT?

AND HE SAID
THAT HE'D BEEN
THINKING...

AND HE DIDN'T WANT
TO BE SINGLE ANYMORE.

All:
AWW!

IT'S ALMOST AS IF
THIS FOCUS GROUP

PROMPTED HIM TO--
I DON'T KNOW, TO ASK.

ANYWAYS...

WAY TO GO, PIP.

Woman:
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.

Pippa:
I MEAN,
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

WE WERE GOING
TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

I MEAN, WE WERE,
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.

WE WERE GOING
TO TAKE OVER
THE GODDAMN WORLD.

SO WHAT,
MARRIED CHICKS CAN'T
TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

WELL, IT'S NOT EXACTLY
AT THE FRONT
OF THEIR MIND.

I DON'T WANT
TO LOSE MYSELF,
YOU KNOW.

I DON'T WANT
TO JUST DISAPPEAR.

OKAY, JUST BECAUSE
YOUR DAD IS A DICK,

DOESN'T MEAN EVERY GUY
WANTS TO CONTROL YOU.

- OKAY, OPRAH.
- LUKE DOESN'T WANT
TO CONTROL ME.

LUKE...

LUKE TENENBAUM?

WHAT'S TO CONTROL?
YOU GUYS HAVE SEX
ONCE A WEDDING, RIGHT?

I WATCHED MY MOM
TILL I WAS 13.

MY DAD RUNS AN EMPIRE,
MY MOM RUNS A HOUSEHOLD.

SHE STARTED
"WEDDING BELLS."

YEAH, THEN SHE DIED.

PIP, WE DON'T HAVE
TO GET MARRIED.

WHAT? AND MISS
THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE?

YOU NEED TO GET LAID.

YOU'RE SO RIGHT.

[ slow-tempo music playing ]

YOU COULDN'T SLEEP,
COULD YOU?

PROBABLY TOSSING
AND TURNING.

"WHY DIDN'T I CALL
THAT GUY BACK?

# EVERYBODY

# UNDERSTAND

SEEMS NICE.

NOT TOO SHORT...

A LITTLE ARTSY,
BUT...

AT LEAST
HE'S NOT AFRAID
TO TAKE A CHANCE."

MMM...

NO, I COULD NEVER
DATE SOMEBODY
I WORK WITH.

I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THE DATING.

NEITHER DO I.

HMM.

BUT...

WHAT IF...

MM-MM-MM.

WHAT IF I DIDN'T KNOW?

WHAT IF...

IT WAS A DARK...

MYSTERIOUS...

MYSTERY?

- MYSTERIOUS MYSTERY?
- SHH.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

# UNDERSTAND, THIS COULD ALL
COME TO AN END #

# UNDERSTAND.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO THIS IS, DO YOU?

I COULDN'T
REALLY SAY
FOR SURE.

[ vocalizing ]

DOESN'T IT SMELL
GREAT OUT HERE?

WHAT WAS THAT?

ALL EARTH
AND GRASS AND SWEAT?

ZYBAN, VALIUM...

I'M ON FIRE!
THESE BUSINESS
BITCHES ARE TOAST!

I THINK FRANK'S FOUND
HIS TEAM SPORT.

WE REALLY ARE PLAYING
LIKE A TEAM, AREN'T WE?

NO, YOU DON'T.
NOT ON MY WATCH
YOU DON'T! NO, SIR!

- WHOO!
- ROXANNE!

OKAY, WHAT'S WRONG?

WELL, AD SALES ARE
UP, BUT I'D SAY
SHE'S GETTING LAID.

IS THAT THE SECRET
TO YOUR GOOD HUMOR,
ROXANNE?

HMM! JEALOUS.

NEXT ISSUE--
PICK A THEME YET?

A THEME, RIGHT.

[ Hemingway whistles ]
PIPPA!

Frank:
YEAH, WE'RE THE NEW SCHOOL.

- MYSTERIOUS MYSTERY.
- EXCUSE ME?

PIPPA, HONEY,
WAKE UP!

I GOT IT!

[ cheering ]

PICK A THEME
AND COMMIT, RIGHT?

YES!

HEY, LULU, IT'S ME.

- EXCUSE ME?
LUKE IS MAKING YOU DINNER?
- [ elevator bell rings ]

THIS BUILDING IS
WAY TOO EXPENSIVE.

IT'S A LEASE.
WE LOSE THE BUILDING,

MOVE THE WHOLE
OPERATION UP
TO SCARBOROUGH.

EXCUSE ME.
IS THERE SOMETHING

YOU WANT TO SHARE
WITH ME HERE?

TELLING YOU--
McGEE HAS TOTALLY LOST
HIS GROOVE.

- SEEN THE LATEST
WEDDING ISSUE?
- HAVE I?

[ chuckles ]
TALK ABOUT INMATES
TAKING OVER THE ASYLUM.

- I WANT TO GET BACK INTO
THE NICHE MARKET, YOU KNOW?
- MM-HMM.

- "MONSTER TRUCKS,"
"BEER WEEKLY."
- EXACTLY.

BRING IN SOME YO-HO.

THROW HIM A FEW BUCKS. TELL
HIM TO WRITE ABOUT BEER.

GENIUS.

SO, JACK WAS IN
THE ELEVATOR.

HE'S PICKING APART
THE BUILDING,

HE'S TALKING
ABOUT THE COMPANY
LIKE HE OWNS IT.

PIPPA,
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

I'M TRYING SO HARD
TO PLEASE MY DAD.

BUT I JUST...
END UP DISAPPOINTING HIM.
LIKE ALWAYS.

IT'S REALLY STARTING
TO WEAR ME DOWN.

AND THEN, THIS GUY--

PIPPA, LOOK AT ME.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

I MEAN, IF YOUR DAD'S
NOT GOING TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF,

THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO.

I'M SORRY.
I PROBABLY WRECKED
YOUR NIGHT.

YOU DIDN'T WRECK
MY NIGHT.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

JUST MOWING THE LAWN.

IAN.

I WAS AT A RAVE.

- COME ON.
- POKER NIGHT.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME
YOU HAD A REALLY GOOD HAND.

- ROYAL FLUSH.
- OH, GOD. I'M SORRY.

HEY, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD...

I KNOW-- WORK LATER,
HARDER, SMARTER.

NO, YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING.
TAKE THE NIGHT OFF.

GO... SEE YOUR GUY.

MY GUY?

THAT... GUY.

HE'S NOT MY GUY.

OH, REALLY?

I DON'T DO THAT.

- DO WHAT?
- YOU KNOW.

- NO.
- RELATIONSHIPS.

OH.

I SEE.

ANYWAY, I'M JUST GOING
TO STAY A BIT AND GO
THROUGH THESE MOCK-UPS.

BUT, THANK YOU.
SERIOUSLY.

HEY...

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT,
OKAY?

YEAH, YOU, TOO.

DAD.

YOU SHOULD HAVE
CALLED ME.

IT'S OKAY. WE--
WE TOOK A CAB.

SUZANNE...

IF YOU WANT
TO GRAB THE BAGS...

DAD, I CAN
DO THIS, OKAY?

WE DON'T NEED
A NURSE. NO OFFENSE.

OH, I SUSPECT
YOUR HANDS ARE
FULL THESE DAYS.

MALCOLM TOLD ME
YOU HAD A CONFERENCE
THIS WEEKEND.

I THINK IT'S BEST
IF SOMEONE'S WITH HIM.

I DON'T NEED TO GO.

IT'S-- IT'S FINE.
JUST GO TO
THE CONFERENCE.

WE'LL BE FINE.

OKAY.

WELCOME HOME.

[ clock ringing ]

[ tires squeal ]

[ brakes screech ]

YOU'RE NOT ROXANNE.

I SUPPOSE THAT'S
A SLIGHT CONSOLATION.

AREN'T I SUPPOSED
TO BE DRIVING HER
TO NIAGARA FALLS?

I-- I THINK
THAT'S RIGHT.

YES. SADLY,
THERE'S A CONFLICT.

WEDDING EXPO
IN NIAGARA FALLS,

ADVERTISING CONFERENCE
IN KINGSTON.

SHE DIDN'T TELL ME.

SHE FORGOT.

Ian: YOU DO REALIZE
YOU'RE AN HOUR
AND A HALF LATE?

TAKE IT, PRADA BOY
OPERATES BY SUNDIAL.

I WAS ONLY LIKE... OH, SHIT.

SORRY.

BUT WE'RE NOT LATE.

YOU GOT
YOUR SPEECH READY?

IT'S INFORMAL,
RIGHT? IT'S LIKE,
MEET AND GREET.

OH, MY GOD.
KEYNOTE SPEAKER?

WHAT THE HEY
AM I GOING
TO TALK ABOUT?

I GUESS I COULD TALK ABOUT
BEING A BRIDESMAID,

BUT I NEVER
REMEMBER IT.

Ian:
THAT'S A PROMISING THESIS
STATEMENT. TAKE A LEFT.

OTHER LEFT.

Pippa:
WHAT IS IT WITH
YOU AND THE ANTIQUES?

REMINDS ME
OF SOMETHING.

WHAT? A HOT NIGHT
WITH LAURA INGALLS?

YOU DON'T SEE
THE POSSIBILITIES
IN THIS BED?

YOU KNOW,
I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

AN ADVENTUROUS PERSON
LIKE YOURSELF...

GOOD MATTRESS, TOO.

ASSUMING
YOU LIKE THEM HARD.
[ chuckles ]

UM...

YEAH.

[ cuckoo clock chiming ]

WELL, THEN YOU'LL...

LIKE THIS ONE.

DON'T YOU HAVE A BED?

IT WAS MY EX-WIFE'S.
SHE WANTED IT BACK.

YOU DIDN'T GET
ANOTHER ONE?

I'M LOOKING.
ALL RIGHT?

WELL, YOU SHOULD
GET THIS ONE.
IT'S COOL. I LIKE IT.

YOU READY?

OH, I GET IT.
YOU GOTTA MEASURE THE BED,
MEASURE THE SPACE.

COMPARISON SHOPPING.

YEAH, YEAH.
COME ON.

- YOU THINK YOU
KNOW HOW I LIVE?
- YOU'RE A NUMBERS GUY.

YOU GO TO BED AT 11:00.
YOU WAKE UP AT 7:00.

YOU RUN FIVE MILES,
YOU SAVE 10%.

YOU PROBABLY GOT THAT
FROM YOUR DAD.

AND YOU GET
THE ANTIQUES THING
FROM YOUR OLD-MONEY MOM.

THEY MAKE YOU
FEEL COMFORTABLE

IN A COLD, COLD WORLD.

I BET YOU STILL SLEEP
ON YOUR FUTON
FROM COLLEGE.

[ scoffs ]

I DO NOT.

OVER DADDY'S GARAGE.

HE TOLD YOU?

IT'S A LUCKY GUESS.

Man over P.A.:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WELCOME TO THE INDUSTRY'S
PREMIERE BRIDAL EXPO.

WE'RE GOING TO KICK
OFF THE FESTIVITIES

WITH OUR KEYNOTE SPEAKER,
PHILIPPA McGEE,

BRAND-NEW EDITOR
OF "WEDDING BELLS"MAGAZINE.

[ clapping ]

- HI.
- [ feedback whining ]

Pippa:
SORRY. HA.

OKAY...

CAN I JUST LEVEL
WITH YOU?

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

I'VE NEVER EVEN
HAD A RELATIONSHIP

THAT LASTED LONGER
THAN A MONTH.

I'VE NEVER EDITED
A MAGAZINE.

I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT TWICE
ABOUT DIAMONDS OR VEILS

OR HONEYMOONS.

BUT I TOOK THIS JOB
FOR MY FATHER.

- YOU ALL KNOW HIM, RIGHT?
- All: MM-HMM.

AND I TOOK IT
FOR MY MOTHER,

THE WOMAN WHO STARTED
IT ALL.

Woman: YES.

HMM.

TAKING THIS JOB MEANT...

EMBRACING A PART OF MYSELF
THAT I HAD LOCKED AWAY,

EVEN FROM MYSELF.

PIPPA McGEE,
THE ROMANTIC.

SERIOUSLY, I WAS
A BRIDESMAID RECENTLY,

AND AT THE END
OF THE NIGHT,

I WAS IN TEARS.

TEARS OF...

ANTICIPATION
AND JOY AND HOPE--

HOPE THAT, SOMEDAY SOON,
MY PRINCE WOULD COME,

AND I, TOO, WOULD HAVE
A FABULOUS WHITE WEDDING.

[ laughing, clapping ]

SO, EVERYONE,
LET'S DRINK UP,

BECAUSE OUR INDUSTRY CELEBRATES
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

IN THIS WHOLE WAR-TORN WORLD.

AND THAT IS... TRUE LOVE.

[ cheering, whistling ]

[ whistles ]

Woman:
AMAZING.

YEAH, I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

I THINK I NAILED IT.

TO THE WALL.

WHAT A CROCK O' SHIT.

PIPPA McGEE, ROMANTIC,
WEEPING TEARS OF HOPE

AND JOY AND,
OH, MY GOD, ANTICIPATION.

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BUY IT,

YOU JUST HAVE
TO SELL IT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, PICK A THEME
AND COMMIT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, CINDERELLA
AND HER PRINCE,

TOGETHER FOREVER,
IT'S NOT ORIGINAL,

BUT IT'S DEFINITELY
AN ARCHETYPE.

OKAY, CONGRATULATIONS.

WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

I'M NOT. I'M...

YOUR SPEECH TONIGHT--

IF YOU COULD
HAVE TOLD THE TRUTH,
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID?

I GUESS
I WOULD HAVE SAID...

THAT, TO ME,
IT ALL FEELS LIKE BULLSHIT.

I MEAN, I-- I THINK
THIS INDUSTRY ALLOWS...

NO, CONDEMNS PEOPLE
TO FOCUS EXCLUSIVELY
ON THE SMALL STUFF.

HEARTS, HYDRANGEAS,
HORS D'OEUVRES.

ANYTHING TO DISTRACT YOU
FROM THE FACT

THAT YOU'RE COMMITTING
TO SOME STRANGER

FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE.

[ chuckles ]

[ sighs ]

CAN I BUY YOU
A DRINK?

- Pippa: I WON AGAIN!
- Ian: LIKE HELL,
CHEATER McGEE.

FIRST PLACE
YOU HAD SEX.

[ sighs ]
HOW DO YOU KNOW
I'VE HAD SEX?

TRUTH.

HMM. CANOE. TIPPY.

I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT.

OKAY, WORST PICK-UP LINE
YOU EVER USED TO GET LAID.

I ONCE TOLD
A GRAD STUDENT

I'D STUDIED
WITH DERRIDA
IN PARIS.

AND THAT WORKED?

SHE WAS VERY
INTO POSTMODERNISM.

OKAY. BEST MOMENT
OF YOUR LIFE, TO DATE.

THE NIGHT
I QUIT LAW SCHOOL.

I WALKED IN,
QUIT, WALKED OUT.

WENT DOWN TO
THIS LITTLE SAILBOAT
I BOUGHT,

POURED MYSELF
A SCOTCH...

LAID BACK ON
THE DECK,

WATCHED
THE SKY GO BLACK.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE BOAT?

I GOT MARRIED.

PUT IT IN STORAGE.

DR. FEELGOOD'S NOT
A BIG SAILOR?

NOT SO MUCH.

OKAY...

WORST MOMENT
OF YOUR LIFE.

HMM.

OKAY, I WAS 13,
IT WAS MY FIRST TIME
AT SUMMER CAMP.

I WASN'T REALLY
FITTING IN.

SO, I CALLED HOME
TO TALK TO MY MOM.

THE HOUSEKEEPER TOLD ME
THAT...

SHE DIED
THE DAY BEFORE.

SHE THOUGHT I KNEW.
SHE THOUGHT
MY DAD TOLD ME.

PIPPA, I'M SORRY.

SHE WAS SICK
A LONG TIME.

HE WAS BUSY.

SO, WHY'D
YOUR MARRIAGE END?

I DON'T KNOW.

WE STOPPED TALKING.

A SECRET
NOBODY KNOWS.

THAT'S A QUESTION.

MY NAILS ARE FAKE.
I BITE THEM.

[ laughs ]

YOU?

UMM... AHEM.

MY FIRST NAME
IS NOT IAN.

LAKE? LIKE,
SWIMMING IN A LAKE?

CONSIDERING MY SISTERS
ARE WHISTLER, TRILLY,

AND HIYA, I THINK
I'M DOING OKAY.

HIPPIES?

[ chuckles ]
NO SHIT.

HMM.

- I AM GOING FOR A DARE.
- ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU SEE
THAT WOMAN OVER THERE?

Ian:
I'M NOT SURE
THAT'S A WOMAN.

I THINK
SHE WANTS TO DANCE.

Ian:
HI.

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DANCE?

SURE.

I JUST GOT LUCKY.

Man:
YOU GO, GIRL.

LUCKY BITCH.

[ no audible dialogue ]

# GIRL, I'VE KNOWN
YOU VERY WELL #

# I'VE SEEN YOU
GROWING EVERY DAY #

- # I NEVER REALLY
LOOKED BEFORE #
- [ laughs ]

- # BUT NOW, YOU
TAKE MY BREATH AWAY #
- HA!

- # SUDDENLY,
YOU'RE IN MY LIFE #
-HEY.

# A PART OF EVERYTHING I DO

- # YOU GOT ME
WORKING DAY AND NIGHT #
- GREAT.

# JUST TRYING TO KEEP
A HOLD ON YOU #

- # HERE IN YOUR ARMS
I FOUND MY PARADISE #
- YEAH.

OOH! YEAH!

- # MY ONLY CHANCE
FOR HAPPINESS #
- [ laughs ]

- WHOO!
- # AND IF I LOSE YOU NOW

# I THINK I WOULD DIE

- [ laughing ]
- # OH, SAY YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE MY BABY #

- OW! TURN!
- # WE CAN MAKE IT SHINE

- Pippa: HEY, BABY!
- # WE CAN TAKE FOREVER

# JUST A MINUTE AT A TIME

# MINUTE AT A TIME

# MORE THAN A WOMAN

# MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME

# BABY

# MORE THAN A WOMAN

# MORE THAN A WOMAN

# MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME

# SHOO-OOP,
DOO-DOOP. #

[ laughing ]

Pippa:
HEY, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS.

I SWEAR TO GOD,
I'M IN ELVIS' GROIN.

I MEAN, IF ELVIS WAS
ONE OF THE SEVEN DWARVES.

- [ cork pops ]
- [ chuckles ]

OH, MY GOD.

[ chuckles ]

I... I GOT
YOU SOMETHING, A...

LITTLE SOUVENIR.

ARE YOU IN?

HEY...

COME ON.

[ hot tub bubbling ]
CAN'T HEAR YOU.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- DOES IT MATTER?

JESUS, PIPPA.

- YES, IT MATTERS.
- [ bubbling stops ]

WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO?

PUT ME IN A CAB?
SEND ME HOME?

WHY ARE YOU
SO HARD ON ME?

[ chuckles ]

IT'S JUST...

YOU KNOW,
MOST OF THE TIME,

YOU ARE SO BRAVE.

YOU KNOW,
YOU ARE RIGHT OUT THERE,

SAYING WHAT
YOU THINK,
DOING WHAT YOU WANT.

I MEAN,
I-I ENVY YOU.

I... I DO.

BUT THEN,
IT JUST STOPS.

I MEAN,
YOU SHUT IT OFF.
YOU JUST GET SO...

COOL. YOU KNOW?

JUST COLD TO ANYTHING
THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS.

THINGS LIKE
"WEDDING BELLS"?

[ sighs ]

I SHOULDN'T--
I MEAN, I PLANNED
THIS WHOLE STUPID THING.

I JUST... I WANTED
TO GET YOU UP HERE
TO TALK TO YOU.

I DON'T...

GOD,
IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.

YOU PLANNED THIS?

SORT OF.

WHY?

[ sighs ]

BECAUSE YOU...

[ sighs ]

BECAUSE
I REALLY LIKE YOU.

[ sobbing ]

# WHEN THE ROAD GETS DARK

# AND YOU CAN NO LONGER SEE

# JUST LET MY LOVE
THROW A SPARK #

# AND HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

# AND WHEN THE TEARS YOU CRY

# ARE ALL YOU CAN BELIEVE

# JUST GIVE THESE LOVING ARMS
A TRY, BABY #

# AND HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

# AND HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

# AND HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

# AND HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

# AND HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

# AND WHEN
YOUR SECRET HEART #

# CANNOT SPEAK SO EASILY

# COME HERE, DARLIN'
FROM A WHISPER START #

# TO HAVE
A LITTLE FAITH IN ME #

PHILIPPA,
I'M REALLY WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.

YOU ARE?

YES, I AM.

GOOD. I'M GLAD THAT...

WE COULD HAVE
THIS CONVERSATION.

'CAUSE I'M FEELING
REALLY LOST,

AND...

I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT MOM.

I'M TALKING
ABOUT THE MAGAZINE.

[ footsteps approaching ]

UH, SUZE?

SUZE?

HERE'S THAT FILE
YOU WANTED, MALCOLM.

THANK YOU.

NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, PHILIPPA.

SO, AD SALES.

NOW, THEY'RE STILL
WAY DOWN FROM
LAST MONTH.

- [ doorbell rings ]
- WELL, WE'RE WORKING
ON GETTING THEM BACK.

WE HAVE A REALLY SOLID ISSUE
IN THE WORKS.

MM-HMM. SO,
YOU GOT IT COVERED?

WE HAVEN'T LOCKED
ONE IN YET,

BUT I HAVE
SOME GREAT IDEAS.

IAN! HEY,
COME ON IN.

HI, MALCOLM.

Suzanne:
I THINK I'LL MAKE
A POT OF COFFEE.

ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
HAVE A SEAT.

HEY, BUDDY.

SO, WHAT'S THE FIRST
THING THAT I TAUGHT
YOU ABOUT AD SALES?

A FAT MAGAZINE IS
A HAPPY MAGAZINE.

THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW, I NEED YOU
TO MAKE SURE

THAT PHILIPPA
UNDERSTANDS THIS.

DAD.

SO, WHY DON'T
WE SAY IT TOGETHER?

HMM?

COME ON.

PHILIPPA.

Both:
A FAT MAGAZINE
IS A HAPPY MAGAZINE.

NOW, I NEED
TO MAKE SURE

THAT YOU ARE FOCUSING
ON PHILIPPA.

AND GIVING HER
ALL THE HANDS-ON
ATTENTION

THAT SHE NEEDS
RIGHT NOW.

I'D SAY PIPPA'S
PRETTY HANDS-ON.

OH.

WHAT HAPPENED
THIS MORNING?

I HAD A LOT OF WORK
I HAD TO GET BACK TO.

OKAY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- NOTHING.
- NOTHING?

[ sighs ]
JESUS CHRIST.

[ music playing ]

[ men laughing ]

[ laughs ]

Hemingway:
THAT'S CRAZY. PIPPA!

HEY, YOU'VE GOT
TO HEAR THIS.

THIS DUDE THAT
PLAYS IN MY BAND,

HE WAS EX-ING SO HARD

THAT HE...

HE PASSED OUT ON STAGE!

WHAT ELSE? WHAT HAPPENED
AFTER THAT?

[ laughs ]

WANT TO GO GET
A COFFEE OR SOMETHING?

JESUS, WHAT?
SPIT IT OUT.

OKAY, WHAT DO YOU DO
IF YOU'RE, I DON'T KNOW,

HAVING A GOOD TIME
WITH SOMEONE?

WHAT DO YOUDO?

YOURUN LIKE
YOU'RE ON FIRE.

ME? I JUST JUMP
IN THE BUSHES WITH THEM.

HOW GOOD?

QUITE GOOD.

YOU RUN YET?

[ sighs ]
OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS...

NO.

YOU, MY DARLING,

ARE DAMAGED.

GET OVER IT.

GO GET HIM.

Ian:
YES, SIR. I--
I UNDERSTAND.

HONESTLY, MR. JACKMAN,

I'M-- I'M READY
TO START ANYTIME.

WELL, BETWEEN
YOU AND ME,

MALCOLM'S NOT
IN TOP FORM.

HE MIGHT EVEN BE RELIEVED.

I MEAN, HE WOULD NEVER
ADMIT THAT, BUT...

YES, I-- I AGREE.

RIGHT NOW, "WEDDING BELLS"
IS PROVING TO BE
A LOSS LEADER.

IF IT DOESN'T START
PERFORMING, WE PULL IT.

NO, I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE

SOME VERY INTERESTING
IDEAS FOR A RELAUNCH.

- WOW.
- Pippa: I KNOW.

IAN'S WORKING WITH JACKMAN
BEHIND MY DAD'S BACK.

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

DID YOU TELL
YOUR FATHER?

NOT UNTIL
I HAVE A STRATEGY.

I MEAN, IF I TELL HIM
HIS GOLDEN BOY'S A JUDAS,

THEN HE MIGHT HAVE
ANOTHER HEART ATTACK.

WHAT A DRAG.

APPARENTLY THEY'RE ALL
JUST WAITING FOR
MY NEXT ISSUE TO FAIL,

AND THEN THEY CAN
PULL THE PLUG
ON THE WHOLE COMPANY.

[ plucking notes ]

HEM?

NO, I GET IT.
I TOTALLY GET IT.

IT'S LIKE THEY'RE JUST
LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA
GIVE IT TO THEM.

ALL RIGHT,
SO I CAN'T TRUST IAN,

SO I WON'T TELL HIM
WHAT I'M DOING,

'CAUSE I KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING.

OKAY, COVER STORY--

CINDERELLA,
FAIRY TALES...

BALLS, SLIPPERS,

SOCIETY BRIDES.

YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS.
KEEP GOING.

OH, DIPPY DEBUTANTES
AND THE MEN
WHO MARRY THEM.

"INSTYLE" MAGAZINE MEETS...

"THE GREAT GATSBY"?

I LOVE IT.

GATSBY.

- Hemingway: OKAY,
ARE YOU COOL, PIPPA?
- YES.

I'M COOL.
CINDY, YOU LOOK...

BEAUTALICIOUS.

ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME
A LITTLE BIT MORE.

YOU'VE GOT A SECRET.
I'VE GOT A SECRET.

A LITTLE MORE.
A LITTLE--

[ sobbing ]

I CAN'T DO THIS.

- WHAT'S--
- I JUST CAN'T DO THIS.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

DO YOU WANT TO
DEAL WITH THAT?

I'M SO SORRY
I WAS CRYING BEFORE.

I FEEL MUCH BETTER.

ALL RIGHT. I'M COOL.
ARE YOU COOL?

HERE WE GO.
ONE MORE TIME.

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

THERE WE GO.

HOLD IT, HOLD IT,
HOLD IT.

I'M GETTING M--

- I'M GETTING MARRIED.
- [ camera shutter clicking ]

JESUS CHRIST.

[ giggling ]

[ giggling ]

[ laughing ]

LOVELY.

LOVELY.

UH, CONGRATULATIONS.

YOUR "SOCIETY BRIDE" COVER
WAS NOMINATED FOR AN N.M.A.

IT'S... NATIONAL
MAGAZINE AWARD.

THE GALA'S NEXT WEEK.

- NO WAY!
- HEY!

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE!

ROXANNE,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?

YOU GUYS SHOULD
CELEBRATE.

Roxanne:
CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.
OH, THANK YOU.

[ laughs ]
THANK YOU.

[ both laugh ]

I GOT CALLS FROM, LIKE,
THREE FASHION MAGAZINES.

THESE AGENTS
CALLING, WANTING ME
TO DIRECT THEIR VIDEO.

I MEAN, IT'S MY TIME,
MAN.

I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP.

WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT'S WRONG?

I THINK I'M ABOUT
TO GET DUMPED.

I THOUGHT I'D WEAR SOMETHING
A LITTLE MORE MASCULINE

AND REALLY
BREAK HIS HEART.

SWEETIE,
WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S COURIERS--
NOTORIOUSLY
UNWILLING TO COMMIT.

IT'S ALL THAT
TRAVELING, I GUESS.

YOU KNOW,
MY NEIGHBOR'S
SINGLE.

STRAIGHT PEOPLE SLAY ME.

ALWAYS TRYING TO SET US UP

WITH THE ONE OTHER GAY GUY
THEY HAPPEN TO KNOW.

BACK OFF,
I'M A GOOD YENTA.

HIS NAME'S RAPHAEL,
HE'S CUTE...

RAPHAEL?
SHIT, BACKWAXER.

COME ON,
I'LL SEE IF HE'S
FREE NEXT WEEK.

YOU COULD GO
TO THE AWARDS.

[ hooting, laughing ]

SO, I GUESS IAN'S NOT
GOING TO BE JOINING US

FOR POLE DANCING
THIS EVENING, HUH?

[ laughing, hooting ]

IT'S NOT
EXACTLY HIS SCENE.

NO.

NOW THERE'S A MAN
I WOULD DRESS DOWN FOR.

CAN I GET A DOUBLE?

# I SHOULD KNOW
WHO I AM BY NOW #

- # I WALK...
- [ answering machine beeps ]

Hemingway: [ laughs ]
NO, GET OFF THERE.

HEY, HEY, GIRL, WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU?

YOU-- YOU TOOK OFF.

LISTEN, A BUNCH OF US ARE
HEADING OVER TO THE MATADOR,

SO COME MEET US THERE.
ALL RIGHT? BYE.

[ answering machine beeps ]

PIPPA, IT'S IAN.

I LEFT THE PROOFS
ON YOUR DESK.

THEY LOOK FINE.

I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE AWARDS ON SATURDAY.

BYE.

# I REMEMBER THE SOUND

# OF YOUR NOVEMBER
DOWNTOWN... #

YO, IT'S ME.

I'M JUST TRYING TO TRACK
YOU DOWN, BUT IT'S COOL.

Suzanne:
AH! HERE WE GO!

- [ chattering ]
- # BUT I DON'T HAVE
TO MAKE THIS MISTAKE #

# AND I DON'T HAVE
TO STAY THIS WAY... #

[ answering machine beeps ]

Lulu:
HEY, SWEETIE.
YOU FREE ON SATURDAY?

ENGAGEMENT BRUNCH FOR RACHEL.

I KNOW YOU'RE
GOING TO LOVE IT.

WE'LL HAVE FUN, TRUST ME.

[ answering machine beeps ]

# THE WALK HAS ALL
BEEN CLEARED BY NOW #

# YOUR VOICE
IS ALL I HEAR SOMEHOW #

# CALLING OUT WINTER

- [ phone ringing ]
- # YOUR VOICE IS THE
SPLINTER INSIDE ME #

# WHILE I WAIT

# I REMEMBER THE SOUND.

GOOD GOD,
YOU READ MY MIND.

I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN
HARD TO REACH.

MAN, YOU LOOK
LIKE JAMES BOND.

HARD TO REACH?

I JUST NEEDED
A LITTLE SPACE.

Woman: HEY, BABY,
IS THAT THE CAB?

I JUST ASSUMED...

I CALLED YOU.

OH, MY GOD!

THAT IS SO SWEET!

YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL.

AREN'T YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE
ON YOUR HONEYMOON?

SWEETIE, DON'T WORRY.

I WON'T GO PUBLIC
TILL NEXT ISSUE'S OUT.

I MEAN, I DON'T WANT US
ALL TO LOOK STUPID, RIGHT?

BUT, COME ON.

BANKERS DON'T
SEND YOU POETRY.

IT'S WEIRD.

I MEAN, I FEEL
HURT, ACTUALLY.

AND RELIEVED, WHICH
IS A BIZARRE COMBINATION.

I MEAN, I DON'T
EVEN WANT HIM, RIGHT?

I'M SINGLE, HE'S SINGLE.

I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE US,
WE ROCK ON OUR OWN.

WE DATE WHO WE WANT,
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE WANT.

WE ADOPT,
IF WE FEEL THE NEED.

FRANKLY...

I FEEL VERY WHOLE.

BUT PLEASE DON'T
MAKE ME GO TO THIS
THING BY MYSELF TONIGHT.

PLEASE GO INSIDE
AND PUT ON A DRESS
AND TAKE AN ASPIRIN?

NO?

NO.

HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.

BUT YOU WORK AT
A BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC.

I KNOW! I KNOW!

YOU'RE HAVING IT?

YOU AND... LUKE?

HE'S THRILLED.

HE'S ACTUALLY...
HE-- HE'S THRILLED!

WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

I'M SO HAPPY
FOR YOU BOTH.

HEY, YOU GUYS
WANT SOME TEA?

I WISH I COULD STAY,
I REALLY DO, BUT...

PROMISE ME WE CAN
CELEBRATE LATER.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS!

PIPPA, DON'T!

I WANT TO BE GODMOTHER!

PIPPA!

[ crying ]

AND THAT'S WHY
I WANTED YOU TO BE
THE FIRST TO KNOW.

LET'S TRY THE
ROUGE, SHALL WE?

MAKING THE ANNOUNCEMENT
NEXT WEEK.

WE'RE DUMPING EVERYTHING.

NONE OF THE MAGAZINES
ARE TURNING A PROFIT.

DID YOU SEE
THAT WEDDING MAGAZINE?

THAT'S McGEE'S KID.
TOTAL DILETTANTE.

NICE COVER,
NO CONTENT.

Man: YOU'RE RIGHT,
MR. JACKMAN.

[ gasps ]

LOOK AT YOU,
SEXY THING.

YOU DID GOOD,
MATCHMAKER.

- HI, RAPHAEL.
- HI.

OH, HI, GUYS.

YOU REMEMBER CHAD
FROM THE MR. TUX
AD CAMPAIGN?

HI.

THIS IS SASHA.

SASHA GRAY.

SASHA!

OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S SO WEIRD.

YOU GUYS HAVE
THE SAME LAST NAME.

GUYS, THIS IS
SO EXCITING!

Hemingway:
HOW YOU DOING,
FOLKS? GOOD EVENING.

EVERYBODY
LOOKS GREAT.

AHH.

- HELLO, MR. JONES.
- HI.

Woman over P.A.:
UP NEXT IS THE
AWARD FOR DESIGN.

MANY OF YOU
WHO KNOW ME

KNOW I WENT TO SCHOOL
FOR DESIGN...

AT ECOLE DE PHOTO.

AND... WELL,
NOT NOMINATED,

BUT IT'S ALL
VERY POLITICAL.

SO, YOU'RE
A DOCTOR, HUH?

I REALLY RESPECT
PEOPLE WHO...
GIVE BACK.

OH, YEAH. ME, TOO.

Presenter:
COMING UP NEXT,
THE AWARDS

FOR PHOTOGRAPHY
AND GRAPHIC DESIGN.

OKAY. Y'ALL
CROSS YOUR
FINGERS.

BUT FIRST, A VERY
SPECIAL MOMENT.

WHERE'S
ROXANNE?

THE LIFETIME
ACHIEVEMENT AWARD...

- [ knocks ]
- ROXANNE, OUR
AWARD'S COMING UP.

...IS A PUBLISHER
WITH OVER 10 MAGAZINES

- IN HIS REPERTOIRE.
- I GOT IT.

DROPPED MY NAPKIN.

OKAY. I'M GONNA
BE SICK.

TOUGHER THAN NAILS
AND WISER THAN SOLOMON,

MR. MALCOLM McGEE.

CHRIST,
HE'S NOT HERE.

I GUESS I SHOULD
GET IT FOR HIM?

YES, GO!

YEAH, GO.

UNFORTUNATELY,
MALCOLM CAN'T BE
WITH US TONIGHT.

BUT HE'S ASKED
THAT HIS COLLEAGUE

AND VICE PRESIDENT,
IAN GRAY,

ACCEPT THE AWARD
ON HIS BEHALF.

[ sighs ]

WAIT. PIPPA,
DON'T GO.

PIPPA.

PIPPA, I'M SORRY.

- I HAD NO--
- IT'S FINE.

IT'S NOT FINE.

ALL RIGHT? IT'S NOT
FAIR, IT'S NOT FINE.

[ sighs ]

COME ON.
AT LEAST LET ME
DRIVE YOU HOME.

I'M NOT GOING HOME.

KEEP ON
RUNNIN', HUH?

DON'T YOU
EVER GET TIRED?

IT'S CALLED LIVING, IAN.
I WOULDN'T EXACTLY
SAY YOU'RE AN EXPERT.

LIVING WHAT?

BUNGEE JUMPING
OFF SOME CLIFF?

RUNNING AROUND
WITH SOME RANDOM GUY

WHO'S NOT WORTH
A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME?

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
- BULLSHIT.

I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T
TALK TO YOUR FATHER.

I KNOW THAT YOU
MISS YOUR MOTHER.

I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK
LIKE WHEN YOU KISS.

AND I KNOW
THAT YOU HAVE NEVER,
EVER DATED SOMEONE

THAT MATTERS TO YOU.

YOU THINK
YOU MATTER TO ME?

- HEY, HEY.
DON'T DO THIS.
- WHY NOT?

I HEARD YOU
TALKING TO JACKMAN.

SELLING OUT MY DAD
BEHIND HIS BACK,

TELLING ME I COULD
MAKE IT WORK,

BUT THEN ASSUMING
THAT I'M GONNA FAIL.

WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS,
IT WORKED.

BUT WHAT DO
YOU HAVE LEFT?

SOME EX-WIFE
THAT YOU CAN'T SEEM
TO BREAK UP WITH?

THE DREAM OF SOME
SAILBOAT THAT YOU
PUT IN STORAGE?

ACCEPTING
AWARDS FOR OTHER
PEOPLE'S VISION?

THAT'S NOT LIVING.

THAT'S PATHETIC.

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD.

THAT'S BARELY
WORTH MENTIONING.

MUST NOT BE IMPORTANT
IF YOU GOT IAN GRAY
TO ACCEPT IT FOR YOU.

WELL, I'VE WORKED
WITH IAN FOR YEARS.
I'M HIS MENTOR.

AND I'M YOUR DAUGHTER.

DOESN'T REALLY COUNT
FOR MUCH, DOES IT?

I DIDN'T MATTER
TO YOU AS A KID,

I DIDN'T MATTER
TO YOU AS A TEENAGER.

AND BY THE WAY, PHILIPPA,
YOUR MOM DIED LAST NIGHT.

YOU'RE TOO BUSY
TO LET ME KNOW.

LOOK.

I WANTED TO TELL
YOU IN PERSON.

WELL, I'M HERE NOW.

I'M LIVING WITH YOU
IN THIS MUSEUM.

I'M 29 YEARS OLD,
AND I'M PUTTING
MY LIFE ON HOLD

TRYING TO MAKE
YOU PROUD OF ME.

WHAT A WASTE.

YOU KNOW, IAN'S
WORKING WITH JACKMAN
BEHIND YOUR BACK.

HE'S NEGOTIATING
THE INEVITABLE TAKEOVER.

IT'S PRACTICALLY OEDIPAL.

WAIT A MINUTE.

IT'S NOT
BEHIND MY BACK.

WHAT?

IT'S NOT A TAKEOVER.

I'M SELLING.

AND I ASKED IAN
TO HANDLE IT FOR ME.

YOU GOT IAN
TO DO IT FOR YOU?

DID YOU EVER THINK
OF LETTING ME KNOW, DAD?

WELL, I HOPE
YOU PUT THAT AWARD
ON YOUR MANTELPIECE,

AND I HOPE YOU SHINE IT
AND LOOK AT IT EVERY DAY.

'CAUSE IT'S ALL
YOU GOT LEFT.

[ sighs ]

- Pippa: SO WHERE WAS I?
- YOU WERE ON THE PART ABOUT YOU

BEING A THOUGHTLESS
PIECE OF SHIT.

- RIGHT, THANK YOU.
- ANYTIME.

ALL RIGHT.
SO THEN I SAY,

"OBVIOUSLY MY INABILITY
TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY FATHER

HAS AFFECTED BOTH
MY PROFESSIONAL JUDGMENT
AND MY PERSONAL BEHAVIOR."

RUN-ON SENTENCE.

"AND THEREFORE I HAVE
DECIDED TO REMOVE MYSELF

FROM THE EDITORIAL
MASTHEAD BEFORE I DO
ANYMORE DAMAGE."

YOU CAN'T START
A SENTENCE WITH "AND."

LOOK, COULD
YOU JUST NOD?

OR SMILE?

[ chuckles ]
LADY, YOU'RE WRITING

A LETTER OF
RESIGNATION

TO A GUY YOU'RE
CLEARLY HOT FOR.

LOOK, THIS GUY
WOULD NOT TOUCH ME
WITH A 10-FOOT POLE.

YOU'RE SURE?
I MEAN, IF HE'S THE ONE.

EVEN IF HE WAS SOMEONE--

SOMEONE, THE ONE,
SAME DAMN THING.

LISTEN.

GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY?

GO SHOW
THIS GUY WITH
THE 10-FOOT POLE

THAT YOU MEAN
BUSINESS.

YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS,
BUT YOU'RE CREATIVE.

FIGURE IT OUT.

IAN?

IAN?

[ bicycle pedaling by ]

[ bell ringing ]

IAN?

IAN, IT'S ME.

I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SAY I'M SORRY,

BUT I'M GONNA TRY.

OKAY.

PHILIPPA.

JESUS, DAD.

YOU'RE FIRED.

WHAT?

YOU DON'T WANNA DO THIS.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO RUN A WEDDING MAGAZINE

FOR A COMPANY
THAT IS FALLING APART.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WELL, OF COURSE YOU DON'T,

BECAUSE I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

HOW DO I SAY TO MY--
MY DAUGHTER THAT I'M TIRED?

AND THAT I HAVE SPENT
35 YEARS BUILDING A COMPANY,

NEGLECTING YOUR MOTHER,
NEGLECTING YOU,

AND THAT I'M JUST
GOING TO LET IT GO?

WITHOUT A FIGHT.

AND, OF COURSE,
INSTEAD OF ASKING YOU
TO FORGIVE ME...

I KEPT YOU IN THE DARK.

WHY?

I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU THINGS.

I'VE BEEN SO HARD ON YOU.

- DAD, IT'S OKAY.
- IT'S-- IT'S NOT OKAY.

LIFE'S SO SHORT.

AND YOU ARE SO...

REMARKABLE.

SO, PIPPA,
PLEASE, GET OUT.

GET OUT OF HERE.

FIND SOMETHING
THAT YOU LOVE.

YOU CALLED ME PIPPA.

I'M TURNING IT
ALL OVER TOMORROW.

SO THAT'S IT?
IT'S OVER?

OH, I'LL STAY
ON AS CHAIR

FOR, YOU KNOW,
A FEW MONTHS

DURING THE TRANSITION.

[ sighs ]

DAD, I WANT
THE LAST ISSUE.

[ chuckles ]
YOU SURE?

IT'S WHAT
I REALLY WANT.

LULU, IF WE
MAKE A DONATION
TO YOUR CLINIC,

WILL YOU DESIGN A DRESS
FOR THE COVER?

Lulu: I DON'T
KNOW HOW TO
DESIGN A DRESS.

YEAH. YOU'RE
A VISUAL PERSON.

YOU KNOW... THE BIG
WHITE DRESS YOU'RE
ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT.

THOUGH, FRANKLY,
I'M THINKING PINK.

REALLY?

ANYTHING I WANT?

PIPPA!

I'VE GOT FIVE COUPLES
FOR YOUR GAY MARRIAGE STORY.

IT IS YOUR GAY
MARRIAGE STORY,

ASSUMING YOU'RE
WILLING TO WRITE IT.

- Frank: OH, WICKED.
- OKAY, LEE, DESIGN
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

GO CRAZY.
SURPRISE ME.

GREAT!

GUYS, GUESS WHAT?

JOHN IRVING SAID YES.

HE'LL WRITE A PIECE
ON MARRIAGE IN TWO DAYS.

IF I MANAGE HIS
STOCKS FOR A YEAR.

JUST CALL ME
THE RAINMAKER.

OH, MY GOD!

I LOVE YOU,
GUYS!

- I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS.
- YES, YOU DO.

DEAR "WEDDING BELLS,"

MY FRIENDS
TELL ME THAT I HAVE
PETER PAN SYNDROME,

THAT I'M AFRAID
TO GROW UP.

WILL COMMITTING
TO SOMEONE I LOVE MAKE
THIS BETTER OR WORSE?

SIGNED, 29 FOREVER.

WAIT A SECOND.

DOES IAN KNOW
ABOUT ALL OF THIS?

NO, IT'S A SURPRISE.

KIND OF LIKE YOU
UNDER THE TABLE

AT THE AWARDS
WAS A SURPRISE.

"DEAR 29 FOREVER..."

Pippa:
"DEAR READERS,

BIRDS DO IT, BEES DO IT.

MY BEST FRIEND
ON THE COVER
CLEARLY DOES IT.

WE SHOULD ALL BE
SO LUCKY AS TO DO IT.

- SO, LET'S DO IT RIGHT.
- [singing discordantly ]

LET'S FALL IN LOVE.

YOU WANT HOTHOUSE FLOWERS
AND BLUSHER VEILS?

VEGAS WITH ELVIS
AS YOUR WITNESS?

YOU WANT TO TIE
THE KNOT AT 90?

HAVE A BABY
WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND?

LIVE ALONE?
LIVE TOGETHER?

TAKE A LOVER?
WED A PARTNER?

IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

AND I PROMISE YOU,
IF YOUR CHOICE HAS
SUBSTANCE,

IT'S GONNA HAVE STYLE.

STOP WORRYING
ABOUT SILVERWARE

AND START THINKING
ABOUT PASSION.

AND I'M NOT JUST
TALKING LUST.

PASSION IS
GIVING SOMETHING YOUR
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.

IT'S SOMEONE WANTING TO
KNOW YOUR BEST MOMENTS

AND YOUR WORST.

IT'S SOMEONE
YOU DELIGHT,

JUST BY BEING YOURSELF.

IT JUST HAS TO BE REAL."

[ cheering and applause ]

"AND IF IT IS,

YOU'LL BE SO BUSY
FALLING IN LOVE,

YOU WON'T NOTICE
ANYTHING ELSE.

HAPPY SPRING.

- LOVE, PIPPA."
- WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

- FREE CHAMPAGNE?
- I LOOK GORGEOUS.

I'LL BE ON YOUR
NEXT COVER.

OH, SWEETIE.
OH, CONGRATULATIONS.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

- Roxanne: MS. McGEE.
- Lulu: CONGRATULATIONS.

IT WOULD BE SO EASY
TO HATE YOU,

BUT IT'S SELLING
OFF THE GODDAMN SHELVES.

OH, MY GOD. IT'S AMAZING.
THEY'VE GOT INTERVIEWS,
THEY'VE GOT--

I'VE GOT FANS.

"ROXANNE PERDUE'S
COLUMN 'TOUGH LOVE'

IS A REFRESHING DELIGHT."

PIPPA.

HEY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

I... WANTED
TO COME BY.

HOW'S SYDNEY?

WELL, THAT'S THE THING.

SHE'S A NICE GIRL.

MMM, SHE'S CRAZY.

[ laughs ]

SHE'S FUN.

SHE MIGHT MAKE
YOU HAPPY.

YOU THINK?

IT'S WORTH A TRY.

ALL RIGHTY.
OH, WE'VE GOT
INTERVIEWS.

- ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS,
I GOTTA GO.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Pippa:
IT'S KIND OF
ABOUT A GUY.

- OH, MY GOD.
- OH.

Roxanne:
OH, NO, NO, NO.
HEAVEN CAN WAIT.

OH, NO,
IT CAN'T.

Lulu:
PIPPA! WAIT!

WAIT UP
FOR ME!

# ALL THOSE PEOPLE
I SAY GOOD-BYE TO... #

Roxanne:
WAIT. WHERE ARE WE GOING?

Frank:
AN ANTIQUE STORE.

Pippa:
IT'S A LONG STORY.

I'VE COME
ABOUT A BED.

SINGLE, DOUBLE,
IRON?

- PINE.
- DOUBLE.

IT'S GOT LIKE
THESE SPINDLY THINGS.

IT'S GOT
A VERY FIRM MATTRESS.

IT'S FOR A GUY.
IT'S FOR A VERY
SPECIFIC GUY.

IT'S A PRESENT.

I WILL GIVE YOU A FREE AD

- IN "WEDDING BELLS."
- WHAT? FRANK.

SOLD IT.

[ all groaning ]

Lulu:
GO, PIP! GO, PIP!

I CAN'T DO IT.

All:
GO ON!

GO GET HIM!
GET THAT MAN!

[ all speaking at once ]

# ONE DROP AT A TIME

# ONE DROP AT A TIME

# ONE DROP AT A TIME

# OH, YEAH.

[ water sloshing ]

Roxanne:
FORGET HIM. YOU'RE
YOUNG, YOU'RE CUTE.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

CALL ME
WHEN YOU HIT 40.

I'M ALMOST 40.

YOU'RE 29.

BOO FUCKING HOO.
IT GETS WORSE.

JUST WITH BETTER CLOTHES.

ROXANNE, I STILL
THINK THAT SHE
SHOULD TALK TO HIM.

Pippa: HE'S FINE.
HE'S GOOD.

HE'S WITH A VERY NICE
WOMAN WHO SAVES LIVES.

[ water sloshing ]

HELLO.
CIRQUE DE SOLEIL HERE.

Pippa:
I TALKED TO JACKMAN.

THEY'RE KEEPING
THE MAGAZINE.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

SO, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO?

Pippa:
I QUIT. GONNA WRITE A BOOK.

ADVENTURE TRAVEL
FOR THE SINGLE WOMAN.

I DON'T WANT
A NEW BOSS.

WELL, ROXANNE'S
GONNA BE AN
EXCELLENT EDITOR.

- I MEAN, SHE'S SMART,
SHE'S FAIR.
- [ gasps ]

SHE KNOWS
THE BUSINESS.

PIPPA.

HEY, I WAS SIPPING.

SHUT IT, LADY.

YOU GOT FRUIT
IN YOUR WOMB.

PIPPA, I REALLY
STILL THINK

YOU SHOULD
TALK TO HIM.

Lulu:
OH, SWEETIE.

HE'S GONNA CALL YOU.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- [ sighs ]

SWEETIE, IT'S OKAY.

NO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M FINE.

[ car starts ]

[ sighs ]

[ seagulls cawing ]

[ splash ]

[ chuckles ]

OH, MY GOD.

I READ YOUR EDITORIAL!

THE WHOLE MAGAZINE--
IT'S AMAZING!

I HEAR THEY'RE
SAVING IT!

SO YOU WENT SAILING?

YOUR DAD SAID
YOU WERE AT THE LAKE.

THOUGHT I'D
GIVE IT A TRY.

THAT BED WAS SOLD.

YEAH.
TO ME, FOR YOU.

PIPPA, IT DIDN'T WORK
WITH HER THE FIRST TIME.

AND I'M IN LOVE
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

SO, ARE YOU
ON THE REBOUND?

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN COMPETE

WITH SOME SUPERHERO
SURGEON PERSON.

WHAT?

YOU DON'T LISTEN,
DO YOU?

EVER.
[ laughs ]

- I'M JUST SAYIN'.
- IT'S OKAY. FORGET IT.

I MEAN, I SAILED
ALL THIS WAY, BUT WHATEVER.

- DON'T LEAVE.
- CAN'T HEAR YOU.

PLEASE.

DON'T LEAVE.

[ both laughing ]

- [ kissing ]
- OKAY.

I LIKE YOU, TOO.

FINALLY.

[ giggling ]

[ giggling ]

YOU'RE STILL HERE.

[ music playing ]

# YO

# DO I, DO I

# INTIMIDATE YOU

# DO I, DO I

I'D LIKE TO FINISH
BY SAYING

MY DARLING, DARLING
LULU HAS MOVED

FROM THE HURLY-BURLY
OF THE CHAISE LOUNGE

TO THE DEEP,
DEEP PEACE OF
THE DOUBLE BED.

AND I, FOR ONE,
DRINK TO THAT.

- Woman: CHEERS!
- THANK YOU.

- Man: BOTTOMS UP.
- # DOIN' IT FOR ME, TOO

TO LUKE AND LULU.

All:
TO LUKE AND LULU!
TO LUKE AND LULU!

# THROW YOUR HANDS
UP IN THE AIR #

Jane: IT'S A DARK
CHOCOLATE CALLEBAUT
TRUFFLE FONDANT

- AND BUTTER CREAM FROSTING.
- UH-HUH.

# WE WILL SHARE
THE GLOWING SUN #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

WHEN I THREW
IT, IF YOU JUST
GET AT IT

WITH A
45� ANGLE
RIGHT HERE.

Lulu:
HEY, GUYS. READY?

OKAY ONE, TWO, THREE.

[ all shrieking ]

JANE, YOU'RE
ALREADY MARRIED.
GIVE IT TO RACHEL.

I KNOW.
I'M JUST MAKING
SURE SHE GOT IT.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

All:
YAY, RACHEL!

# FOLLOW OUR
HEART'S DESIRE #

# FOLLOW, FOLLOW

# WHAT FEELS
LIKE HAPPINESS #

# I KNOW, I KNOW

# HEARTACHE EXISTS

# I KNOW, I KNOW

# I'LL LOVE AGAIN

# I'LL LET LOVE IN

[ laughing ]

# YEAH

Frank:
I LOVE WEDDINGS.

# HEY NOW, HEY NOW

# THROW YOUR HANDS
UP IN THE AIR #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

# HOLD ON,
NOT TOO TIGHT #

# HEY NOW, HEY NOW

# WE WILL SHARE
THE GLOWING SUN #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

# LIFE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE FUN #

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# YEAH, YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# DO I, DO I

# INTIMIDATE

# HEY NOW, HEY NOW

# THROW YOUR HANDS
UP IN THE AIR #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

# HOLD ON,
NOT TOO TIGHT #

# HEY NOW, HEY NOW

# WE WILL SHARE
THE GLOWING SUN #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

# LIFE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE FUN #

# HEY NOW, HEY NOW

# THROW YOUR HANDS
UP IN THE AIR #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

# HOLD ON,
NOT TOO TIGHT #

# HEY NOW, HEY NOW

# WE WILL SHARE
THE GLOWING SUN #

# ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

# LIFE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE FUN #

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

# YEAH

# SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

[ music playing ]

# HEARD ABOUT
THIS GIRL BEFORE #

# WHAT HAPPENED TO HER,
I'M NOT SURE #

# BUT SHE CAN NEVER
FIND REAL LOVE #

# SHE'S JUST
A CONSTANT LOVER #

# AND WHEN

# YOU FIND THAT TIME

# WHEN HE'S JUST LIVING
OFF OF SOMEONE ELSE#

# CITY LIGHTS, MY DEAR

# ARE LOOKING, OH,
SO PRETTY FROM THAT HILL #

# AND SHE GOES

# OOH, OOH

# AND HIS VOICE
IS IN MY HEAD #

# OOH

# THEY TELL ME
I WOULD END UP DEAD #

# OOH

# IF I FELL ASLEEP
WITH YOU #

# WHAT COULD I?

# WELL, I WAS PLAYING
HIS GUITAR #

# SHE KNOWS THE SONGS
AND HE'LL GET FAR #

# GIRL, KEEP
YOUR BEAUTY #

# THEY SAY
THAT'S YOUR DUTY #

# AND WHEN
IT JUST AIN'T GOOD #

# AND YOU DON'T WANT
HIS KISSES ANYMORE #

# DON'T BE
A RAG DOLL, DEAR #

# 'CAUSE HE'LL
JUST KEEP YOU HANGING
FROM THAT WALL #

# AND SHE GOES

# OOH

# AND HIS VOICE
IS IN MY HEAD #

# OOH

# THEY TELL ME
I WOULD END UP DEAD #

# OOH

# IF I FELL ASLEEP
WITH YOU #

# WHAT COULD I DO?

# HEY

# SHE LOVED, HE CAME

# HE'LL COME
BACK AGAIN #

# SHE LOVED, HE CAME

# HE'LL COME
BACK AGAIN #

# SHE LOVED, HE CAME

# HE'LL COME
BACK AGAIN #

# SHE LOVED, HE CAME

# HE WILL COME BACK
AGAIN, YEAH #

# HEARD ABOUT
THIS GIRL BEFORE #

# WHAT HAPPENED TO HER,
I'M NOT SURE #

# SHE CAN NEVER FIND
REAL LOVE #

# SHE WAS
A CONSTANT LOVER #

# AND WHEN IT JUST
AIN'T GOOD #

# AND YOU DON'T WANT
HIS KISSES ANYMORE #

# CITY LIGHTS, MY DEAR

# ARE LOOKING, OH, SO
PRETTY FROM THE WORLD #

# ALL RIGHT.