All language subtitles for The Real ONeals s01e13 The Real Prom.eng

So I made it through my year
of coming out to the world.

It went better than expected,

but there was still one
social hurdle to clear.

- So?
- Yes.

Prom.

An opportunity wasted
on all these straight couples

with no imagination
and zero design sense.

Hey, I want to pitch you
my prom-posal for Lacey.

- Oh.
- Roses.

And?

From the grocery store. [Chuckles]

Okay, I will fix this later.

Right now I have to go
to V.P. Murray's office

and demand that this school
let me take a boy to prom.

And not just for me, but for
all gay kids who follow.

Dude! Hey! You messed up my banner!

Fine. I'll help you fix it,

but this is a high-traffic area.

You did not think this through.

Don't just stand there.
Where's your glitter glue?

- What?
- You're a lost cause.

I don't know.

If I accept his friendship,

isn't that sending the wrong message?

You frenched your children's
vice principal.

I'd say that sends
a pretty strong message.

Now it's your job to gather intel

and see if you want to take it further.

Okay, fine.

I'll do it.

[Computer dings]

Yes!

And now the dance begins.

- Oh.
- Oh, dear Lord.

He's wearing shorts.

Hey.

Hey, you know what,

Jimmy's been asking for money
for a limo for prom.

Does he even have a date?

No. He's still working
on his prom-posal.

These days, kids make a bigger
deal out of asking each other

to prom than you did asking me
to marry you.

It feels like they've been
talking about this prom for months.

I'll be excited when it's over.

Oh, I like seeing children
in evening wear.

I like seeing cats in glasses.

Well, done with this conversation.

[Computer dings]

Oh, my God, V.P. Murray

has liked all your photos in that time.

He liked that I liked Talbots?

- What's this video?
- [Key clicks]

Here it is... an original
composition on my theremin.

Uh, fun fact... this is
the only one in Illinois.

[Sniffs]

[Theremin plays]

Nope. I'm out. Un-friend.

- [Groans]
- [Computer chimes]

What?! Where did she go?

[Knock on door]

Uh, Kenny, hey.

Apropos of nothing,

do you know if your mom changes
her privacy settings often,

you know, on the social media
and... and the like?

V.P. Murray, it is my right
as an American citizen

and a student of this school

to have the freedoms allowed
to all the other students.

- You want to take a boy to the prom.
- If the supreme court could see fit...

- You can take a boy to the prom.
- I have a letter from a lawyer.

Well, then, frame it

because you are taking a male
to the prom.

Who's the lucky guy?

Oh, crap. There is no lucky guy.

I did not think this through.
Cover. Cover.

I'm the lucky guy for taking
this brave step forward.

Freedom.

[Bleep]

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

That's all I was asking for.
You know, I like...

- Hey, Shannon.
- Hi.

I wanted to make sure you got
the math assignment.

Oh.

No, thanks, Ethan. I'm good.

Shannon, you didn't even think about it.

You know, some people had to fight

for the right to go to prom.

Once they had that right,
had no one to go with.

I'm talking about me.

I just don't understand

why you want to get hysterically
excited about prom,

only to be utterly disappointed
by the outcome.

Because I am an American!

But I'm never gonna get what I want

'cause I'm the only gay kid
in this whole school.

Stuart: Hi.

What about clearly gay Stuart?

- Come here. Mah!
- [Both laugh]

Well, I'm starting to think
he might just be "Stuart."

Maybe you could go with that
barista from Rigby's Roasters.

Isn't he gay?

Are you saying that because
he's the only other gay guy you know?

- Yes.
- [Groans]

What's up?

Jimmy, can you think of any
gay guys Kenny can take to prom?

Oh! What about the barista
from Rigby's Roasters?

- Wasn't he gay?
- You think I'm gonna take somebody

when the only thing we have in common

is that we're both gay?

I think that's more important

than, say, uh, you both liking tennis.

Yo! What up, Lacey?!

Hey, Jimmy.

You smell like eggs.

- [Mumbles]
- What are you doing?

You could have asked her right there.

As you can see,
I'm not good off the cuff.

I have to plan it.

Yeah? Well, I don't even
have anyone to plan for.

And I'm not asking for much.

I just want love at first sight
with the perfect boy

and the perfect kiss
and the perfect night.

[Swedish accent] May I have this dance?

- Absolutely.
-
If you're all alone

-
Take a chance on me

I can never hear enough ABBA.

- [School bell ringing]
- Wait.

Why is he still here?

Do you guys see him, too?

The Nordic twink in the hoodie?

Kenny, this is Sebastian,

our new Swedish
foreign exchange student.

I thought you'd want to meet him
since you both play for the same team.

And I'm not talking about a sports team.

You're both gay.

Just because they're both gay
doesn't mean that they want...

Shut up. Hi! [Chuckles]

I'm Kenny!

Can you believe we're both gay?

We have so much in common!

[Chuckles]

What?

Do you have any 2s?

Nope. Go fish.

[Sighs]

[Balloon humming]

Did we make that happen?

I hope so.

[Laughs] It works!

Oh, and it's awesome!

That's up for debate.

This is gonna be the best
prom-posal ever.

Lacey and Sebastian are for sure
gonna say yes.

Because of a fish balloon?

No, because of a self-mobilizing
fish drone.

It's gonna hover over Sebastian
and Lacey,

then I'm gonna pop it

and it's gonna rain down Swedish fish,

you know, 'cause Sebastian is Swedish.

And Lacey loves processed foods.

Prom is so over-hyped.

It's for amateurs,

like Valentine's Day and New Year's.

- Mm-hmm.
- The most romantic night of your life

could happen in a random
parking lot on a Tuesday night.

You don't understand
gay or straight romance.

I'm not sure you do, either.

Fine!

You'll see.

- How'd it go?
- Great.

I called Clive, and I told him
it's not gonna work.

He took it really well,
and we parted as friends.

In fact, I told him I'd help him
chaperone at the prom.

Oh, my God, he's taking you to the prom.

No, he is not!

I am going as a single adult there

to make sure the kids
don't grope each other.

[Cellphone chimes]

"Hey, boo.

What color is your dress for the prom?

I want my boutonniere to match"?

See, he thinks it's a date.

How can he possibly think that?

Are you sure you were clear
with him when you broke it off?

I told him I'm really busy right now

and I'm not in a great place

and I just don't think it's meant to be.

Okay, see, what he heard is,
"when things die down,

I'll be ready, so wait for me."

[Sighs] I need your help.

Teach me how to kill his hope.

My whole life has led to this moment.

[Laughter]

Okay, there they are. There they are.

Launch it.

I told you you put too many
Swedish fish in the fish.

No, but the physics were right.

I calculated the trajectory.

I just need to redistribute the weight.

Sorry.

- Got it.
- Aah!

- Sorry. Okay, go!
- Stuart: Uh, hello!

Excuse me. Coming through.

Wait, what the...?

I'm coming out of the closet!

And I'm gay for you, Sebastian.

Prom... Question mark?

Ja.

Just when I gave him the benefit
of the doubt.

Yes! Thank you!

Damn it!

Okay, look, I feel for you,
but let's get this fish moving.

I still have a chance with Lacey, okay?

Okay.

Hey, Lacey!

Wow, Devon. That's a lot of cheese.

What do you say?

"No."

Sure!

It's processed.

That's her favorite.

Why didn't I think of that?

Because it's literally
the worst idea ever.

[Thud]

Everyone is staring at us.

What do we do?

We melt their hearts.

Kenny, my gay brother...

[Candy clatters]

...will you go to prom with me?

Yes?

Together: Aww.

[Applause]

This went exactly as we planned.

I can't believe I took on
a Catholic school

so I could take a same-sex date to prom,

and the date ends up being my brother.

It's too sad to even write
a country song about.

Look, we're sitting
in the sweet spot right now.

Everyone's hopes are super-high
for prom,

but... but, like Shannon said,

they will eventually be let down
by the reality.

And that's where we swoop in,

and we give Sebastian and Lacey
a night they will never forget.

Maybe you're right.

I mean, Stuart is borrowing
his mom's Passat,

but there's no way he can sustain

that level of excitement all evening.

Exactly!

And when their disappointment
is at its highest,

they're gonna look over and go, "whoa,

who are those handsome brothers

getting all Hemsworth up in the prom?"

- I'm Chris.
- I'm Chris.

- I'm Chris!
- I'm Chris!

Mm.

Smile, love birds.

This is so silly. [Scoffs]

All right, let's go find
Sebastian and Lacey.

Okay.

Vice Principal Murray,

I may have not been clear enough

in our previous conversation.

I do not wish to date you
today or tomorrow

or any time in the future.

I will not date you here or there.

I will not date you anywhere.

Before you make your final decision...

Couldn't be more final.

...I have something to show you.

Please, meet me in my office
in 10 minutes.

Uh... mm.

Give it.

Chablis? Get out of here.

-
I'm out of control

- [TV chatter]
- See how bad prom sucks?

You think it's gonna be
the night of your dreams,

and the next thing you know,

a bucket of pig blood is dropping on you

in front of the entire school.

I'd take Carrie's prom over ours.

I mean, Moroccan mystique?
Let's be honest.

That's just gonna look like
a cost plus world market.

[Chuckles]

I'm glad I told Ethan no.

Wait, hang on.

You got asked to prom
by some guy named Ethan?

He sounds amazing.
Why didn't you tell me?

There was nothing to tell. Prom sucks.

You said it yourself.

Oh, honey, prom doesn't suck
for everyone.

It just sucked for me
because I didn't have a date.

Nobody wanted to go with fatty Patty.

I thought nobody asked you,

and I didn't want you
to feel bad like I did.

I'm happy sitting here
watching "Carrie" with you.

No, honey, trust me,

you don't want to be my age and regret

that you didn't get dressed up
and have a glamorous night

with your friends and impress them

with how well you do "the Tootsee Roll."

What's "the Tootsee Roll"?

It's only the most important
dance of 1994.

Listen, you should go.

I guess I could pull out
that junior bridesmaid's dress

- from Aunt Stacy's wedding.
- Yeah.

It used to hang on me like a bag,

but I think I have the curves
now to pull it off.

And you know what else boys really love?

Turtlenecks.

They don't look disappointed.

-
Why I got you on my mind

Right now.

We're gonna make them disappointed.

We're gonna cut in.
We're gonna talk each other up.

And then you pass Lacey off to me,
and I'll pass Sebastian off to you.

That's smart.

Man, you really flicker in
and out, don't you?

- Yeah, I really do.
- Hmm.

- May I cut in?
- What?

The jocks are turning.
The jocks are turning.

No. I want the Swede.

Uh... All right.

Hi. Excuse me, Devon.
This will take one second.

- All right.
-
I could have really liked you

I don't know if you saw,

but Jimmy looks rather dashing
in his tux.

We're sort of the Hemsworths
of St. Barklay's.

-
And now I don't understand it

You know, uh, I'm not actually gay,

but if I were,
that fella right over there

would be just my cup of tea.

I do like tea.

I want you to know Jimmy was
going to ask you to prom first.

And if he hadn't spent so much time

helping me with my prom-posal,

you'd probably be here
with him right now.

I was hoping that he'd ask me.

Great. Follow my lead.

Jimmy!

Spin me.

Whoa!

Hey! No!

- What? What?
- No!

- Kenny, I can't see.
- No, that's not what I wanted.

Kenny! No! No! [Groans]

Kenny: Okay, that didn't work out.

All right, when do I get
to dance with a chick, bro?

Right now.

- Sebastian!
-
Understand it

- There you are, you silly Swede.
-
Why I got you on my mind

-
You think you know somebody

Thanks for coming.

Uh, I don't think
you'll be disappointed.

Oh, I already am.

- [Theremin plays]
- [Off-key]
Come on, Eileen

It's even worse in person.

Smile.

[Chuckles] No, no, I'm just her dad.

I'm only here to help her have
a magical prom night, but okay.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Oh, look at that disco ball.

It's just as wonderful as I imagined it.

Oh, yes, it's a ball
with mirrors glued to it.

We live in magical times.

Okay, so which one of these guys
asked you?

Ethan.

He's right there in
the moss-green bow tie,

but it looks like he's here
with somebody else.

I'm gonna go get us some punch.

Wait, there's punch? For free?

Hey, green tie. Officer O'Neal.

He's a cop?

Uh, I'm not here
in my official capacity.

I'm here just as Shannon's dad.

Look, could you do me a favor

and just give Shannon one dance?

I don't want her to regret
saying no to you.

You asked someone else first?!

- [Sobbing]
- Oh, I'm sorry, man.

Dad, what are you doing?

Embarrassing me and making my date cry.

I can see why you O'Neals
only date each other!

[Sobbing]

I'm sorry, honey,
I want to make this right,

but that girl's heading
for her drug purse,

and I can't let that happen.

Hey, don't smoke anything
out of that purse!

I'm sorry, Ethan.

This is exactly the kind
of dumb prom drama

I did not want to get involved in.

No, I'm glad this happened

because my heart just wasn't
in it with Paula.

You and I are like quantum entanglement.

When one particle entangles
with the other,

no matter how far the distance...

They always affect each other.

Exactly.

Also, Dem curves are dangerous.

Whoa.

- [Off-key]
-
Loo-ra-loo-rye-oooooh

Stop! Stop!

[Theremin powers down]

- Stop!
- Uh, uh, Eileen, wait.

No, I don't want to be mean,

but you're forcing me to say
these mean things.

I don't like you.

[Sighs]

Look, you are a very nice man

and a competent vice principal,

and thank you very much

for being my first...
First kiss in a long time.

I was hoping that
you would ask me to prom...

And then kiss me.

Uh, I could still do one
of those things.

Close your eyes. [Chuckles]

So, Clive...

Goodbye.

-
The '80s made me I'm so awesome

-
So I live in the moment

-
It's a good day to have a good day

So, to recap,

I had a chance to bring a guy to prom

and ended up getting a pity
dance from Sister Ethelreda.

- So much for my high hopes for prom.
-
If you change your mind

-
Take a chance, take chance

Thanks a lot, ABBA.

-
Honey, I'm still free

-
Take a chance on me

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Is this really happening?

'Cause I hallucinate sometimes.

I'd rather be here with you tonight

than the boy in the box who asked me.

It's been all downhill since the Passat.

I knew it.

May I have this dance?

Absolutely.

This is it.

After everything I've been through,

coming out to my family,
coming out to my school,

I'm finally going
to kiss a guy... at prom.

And not just any guy...

A Viking prince from the land of ABBA.

Huh.

Maybe I set the bar too high?

Look, uh, this is weird for all of us,

but your dad and I are moving on.

It's just part of divorce.

And I get that.

What upsets me is that you could...

you could totally do better
than Vice Principal Murray.

Really?

Yeah.

You... you're smart.

And you're funny.

I mean, y-you remember that time the
neighborhood had a... had a peeping Tom?

Who did he peep on first?

You.

That's true.

It was really scary.

[Groans]

I'm sorry I ruined your prom.

I thought prom didn't matter
to me because it didn't,

then Ethan referenced one of
the great mysteries of physics,

and my heart got all fluttery at prom.

I'm just like every other teenage girl.

Honey, I hate to break it to you,

but you are not like
any other teenage girl.

Thanks.

I pride myself on keeping my edge.

Want to go catch up with Ethan, huh?

No, our paths will cross again.

Maybe in our 30s in Prague.

Maybe in the 10th grade
on our teen tour.

Ugh. There I go again.

Yeah, I think we're all
getting a little caught up

in the Moroccan mystique.

- [Chuckles]
- Anyways, Ethan can wait.

I already have a date.

Hey, someone finally asked me
to the prom.

Want to go to the snack table?

There's a chocolate fountain.

Oh, my God!

He is so simple.

All right, I'm having
a totally crappy time,

and I'd like my date to take me home.

What happened?

All right, I'm gonna tell you

because I'm very frustrated,
but no comments.

Things didn't work out
with you and Sebastian?

Well, we kissed.

What?

You had your first boy kiss?!

That's awesome!

Look at... look at it!
The O'Neals are getting some!

Ha ha.

I mean... except...
except for me. I'm not.

But I'm... I'm still happy for you guys.

"You guys"? What, Mom, did you get some?

You were telling your story. Go on.

Okay, well, Sebastian and I kissed,

and I thought it was gonna be
this amazing moment.

I mean, he is good-looking.

He says his Y's like J's,
and he's short-tall,

so he's not intimidating,
but he can still hold me.

But it didn't feel as amazing
as I thought it would.

I was expecting 4th of July,

and it felt more like...

- August 9th.
- [Chuckles]

National Rice Pudding Day.

[Sighs]

It sucks that it was just...

...ordinary.

You know what that means.

That I'm probably straight
and I should kiss a girl.

No.

It means you're normal.

You think I'm normal?

Of course I do.

Listen. You can't force a connection.

You don't know when it's gonna
happen or with whom.

He may not dress the way you like

or play an instrument
that doesn't sound like a...

crying robot.

You can't account for chemistry.

Well, thank you.

And it sounds like you have
quite a story to tell.

For another day.

- Murray: I now present to you this year's...
- What are you doing?!

Everybody has to get inside this
totally rad prom right now!

Jimmy and Kenny are being named

non-gender-specific prom monarchs."

- [Chuckling] What?
- What?

[Fanfare plays]

You have your mother's eyes.

- Him and Mom?
- I'm afraid so.

[Applause]

Do you have any music
from the olden times?

Like 1994?

[laughs] I always knew I'd love prom!

Once again, the O'Neals did
what we do best...

We took an evening of disappointment

and embarrassment,

and we made it into a night to remember.

My family has been through
a lot these last few months,

and it's moments like these
that give me hope

that we just might be...

[Grunts]

That's for kissing my date... whore!

That's about right.

[Fanfare plays]

Does our family spend
too much time together?

Yes. Yes, we do.

Aah, that Stuart has
a sharp little fist.

- Hey, sorry about your kiss.
- Yeah.

Was it at least better
than kissing a girl?

Oh, hell, yeah.

At this point, I would kiss anyone.

Well... Lacey!

Oh, Lacey, hey.

I'm sorry about not kissing you earlier.

The reason I...

Cool!

Kenny, I need you to dance with me.

Don't ask why.

Kenny: [Groans] Really, Mom?

V.P. Murray?

I didn't judge you. Don't judge me.

Yeah, fair enough.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0