All language subtitles for Stag (2013)

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian Download
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,124 --> 00:00:14,057 ♪ One for the money 2 00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:16,219 ♪ Two for the show 3 00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:17,954 ♪ Three to get ready 4 00:00:17,955 --> 00:00:19,055 ♪ And go 5 00:00:19,056 --> 00:00:21,657 (LAUGHTER) 6 00:00:31,768 --> 00:00:33,602 ♪ Okay 7 00:00:37,874 --> 00:00:39,943 ♪ One for the money, two for the show ♪ 8 00:00:39,944 --> 00:00:42,345 ♪ Three to get ready, four for the dough ♪ 9 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:44,247 ♪ One of the money, two for the show ♪ 10 00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:46,416 ♪ Three to get ready, now here we go ♪ 11 00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,752 ♪ Get get get back 12 00:00:48,753 --> 00:00:51,353 ♪ Get g-g-g-get back 13 00:00:52,122 --> 00:00:54,758 (LAUGHTER) 14 00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:56,826 ♪ Live it up now, live it up now ♪ 15 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,128 ♪ Live it up now 16 00:00:58,129 --> 00:01:00,230 ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪ Oh 17 00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:02,898 ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪ Oh 18 00:01:13,043 --> 00:01:15,178 (LAUGHING) 19 00:01:15,179 --> 00:01:16,946 All right, he's right in front of you. 20 00:01:16,947 --> 00:01:18,381 Straight ahead. Straight ahead. 21 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,949 Straight ahead. (BELL RINGS) 22 00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:21,483 Straight ahead. 23 00:01:27,824 --> 00:01:29,292 ALL: Ohh! 24 00:01:29,293 --> 00:01:32,694 (LAUGHING) 25 00:01:34,030 --> 00:01:36,498 ♪ Unh unh unh unh 26 00:01:39,202 --> 00:01:41,370 ♪ Co-co-come on 27 00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:45,040 ♪ Have a good time 28 00:01:54,317 --> 00:01:55,719 Morning, sweetie. 29 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,220 How did you sleep? 30 00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:58,521 Not good. 31 00:01:58,522 --> 00:02:00,822 Tossed and turned a lot. 32 00:02:02,192 --> 00:02:04,994 Okay, I've gotta say this. 33 00:02:04,995 --> 00:02:07,363 You've been acting really weird the last several days. 34 00:02:07,364 --> 00:02:09,165 Like, really nervous and on edge, 35 00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:11,534 so I'm thinking either you're having 36 00:02:11,535 --> 00:02:12,936 second thoughts about getting married, 37 00:02:12,937 --> 00:02:14,170 or there's a problem at work 38 00:02:14,171 --> 00:02:15,605 you're not telling me about, 39 00:02:15,606 --> 00:02:18,441 or, I don't know, maybe there's someone else? 40 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,143 Babe, come on, don't be ridiculous. 41 00:02:20,144 --> 00:02:21,878 Okay, well, but there's something. 42 00:02:21,879 --> 00:02:23,146 Because you've been like this big sack of nerves 43 00:02:23,147 --> 00:02:25,148 that's all twitchy and jumpy. 44 00:02:25,149 --> 00:02:26,549 Honey, 45 00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:28,785 I'm fine. 46 00:02:28,786 --> 00:02:30,118 (LAUGHS) Okay? 47 00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:49,339 Fuck! 48 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,674 Fuck you, cereal! 49 00:02:51,675 --> 00:02:53,610 Fuck you, cereal! Fuck you, milk! 50 00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,612 Fuck you guys toge... Fuck! 51 00:02:55,613 --> 00:02:57,313 Fuck! You fucking piece of... 52 00:02:57,314 --> 00:02:59,616 Fuck! Shit! 53 00:02:59,617 --> 00:03:00,416 Fuck! 54 00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:02,985 In the face! Fuck! 55 00:03:12,228 --> 00:03:14,697 Good afternoon, sir, hi. My name is Luke Gordon, 56 00:03:14,698 --> 00:03:17,634 and I'm calling from Janitors Bucket Cleaning Service, 57 00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:19,636 and I'm very excited to be talking to you 58 00:03:19,637 --> 00:03:21,905 about our exceptional cleaning system. 59 00:03:21,906 --> 00:03:24,340 Believe it or not, we do have some people 60 00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:26,442 in your building today dealing with other clients, 61 00:03:26,443 --> 00:03:27,843 and I was wondering... 62 00:03:29,646 --> 00:03:30,846 No. 63 00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,682 No, there's no Janet here. 64 00:03:34,284 --> 00:03:35,885 Janitor. 65 00:03:35,886 --> 00:03:38,620 Yeah, it's Janitors Bucket Cleaning Service, and... 66 00:03:40,623 --> 00:03:42,625 Well, I can't take a message for someone 67 00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:45,127 who doesn't exist... I'm calling you. 68 00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,898 Sir, no, I can't... 69 00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:52,101 No, there's no Janet. I can't... 70 00:03:52,102 --> 00:03:55,438 Go ahead. Mm-hmm. 71 00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:58,975 Yeah. Yeah, I'll have her call you, Fred. Bye! 72 00:03:58,976 --> 00:04:01,043 Oh, shoot me in the face. 73 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,083 KEN: It's this stupid stag. 74 00:04:07,084 --> 00:04:08,451 Wait, your stag? 75 00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:10,453 How can that be bothering you? 76 00:04:10,454 --> 00:04:12,856 I thought that was, like, every guy's dream. 77 00:04:12,857 --> 00:04:15,625 Okay, babe, you've got a great group of friends 78 00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:17,427 that you've known since you were, what, 16? 79 00:04:17,428 --> 00:04:19,062 And I'm sure they're anxious to see you tonight 80 00:04:19,063 --> 00:04:22,932 and, you know, be part of this special, memorable event. 81 00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:24,300 Yeah, I bet they are. 82 00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:26,501 So then why wouldn't you be excited about it? 83 00:04:28,638 --> 00:04:31,074 Two years ago, I organized a group 84 00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:35,645 that got Jason Albright so drunk he passed out. 85 00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:38,147 We stripped him buck naked 86 00:04:38,148 --> 00:04:40,350 and then covered his ass in ice. 87 00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:42,418 Ohh! (LAUGHING) 88 00:04:42,419 --> 00:04:45,154 KEN: I then cut off the top of a pineapple, 89 00:04:45,155 --> 00:04:47,457 wedged that bad boy into the crack of his ass 90 00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:49,325 so it looked like the whole pineapple 91 00:04:49,326 --> 00:04:50,627 was shoved into his butt 92 00:04:50,628 --> 00:04:52,362 and just the leaves were sticking out. 93 00:04:52,363 --> 00:04:53,696 I took a picture of it, 94 00:04:53,697 --> 00:04:57,200 and then I circulated it around the office. 95 00:04:57,201 --> 00:04:58,902 Okay, now you're just making that up. 96 00:04:58,903 --> 00:05:00,503 You think I'm making this up? 97 00:05:00,504 --> 00:05:02,672 Mm-hmm. You think this is... 98 00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:05,942 Okay, I'm gonna show you what I'm making up. 99 00:05:05,943 --> 00:05:07,642 Here. (LAUGHS) 100 00:05:08,912 --> 00:05:09,812 Bam! 101 00:05:09,813 --> 00:05:11,347 Oh! It's my screen saver! 102 00:05:11,348 --> 00:05:13,917 Oh! Oh, my God! 103 00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:17,586 Yeah! I'm screwed! 104 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,595 Payback's a bitch, huh? 105 00:05:25,596 --> 00:05:26,829 Rory, what are you doing? 106 00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:28,164 You know what I have planned for Ken? 107 00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,365 It's friggin' brilliant. 108 00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:31,134 No, I don't know, and, uh, 109 00:05:31,135 --> 00:05:33,002 I'm not really that concerned, so... 110 00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:35,338 Wa-wait, you're going to the stag, right? 111 00:05:35,339 --> 00:05:37,340 No, I don't think so. 112 00:05:37,341 --> 00:05:38,908 I mean, I've got a lot of work to do. 113 00:05:38,909 --> 00:05:40,543 I've got to get through these cold calls, so... 114 00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:43,613 Okay, so you don't want to go to the stag, or...? 115 00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:45,214 Are you kidding me? 116 00:05:45,215 --> 00:05:46,749 The last time I saw a vagina, 117 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,918 it was when my daughter was coming out of it. 118 00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:50,820 Your daughter's 6. 119 00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:52,422 I know. 120 00:05:52,423 --> 00:05:53,623 You need to come to this! 121 00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,058 I don't know. I just... 122 00:05:55,059 --> 00:05:56,993 Come on, man, hang with the boys like the old days. 123 00:05:56,994 --> 00:05:59,896 You know, just forget about your responsibilities for a few hours. 124 00:05:59,897 --> 00:06:02,031 This is our chance to prank the prankster. 125 00:06:02,032 --> 00:06:03,032 It's gonna be the best! 126 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,567 I don't know. 127 00:06:04,568 --> 00:06:05,868 I mean, I really do have some work to do, 128 00:06:05,869 --> 00:06:08,338 and Liz is not gonna want me to go, okay? 129 00:06:08,339 --> 00:06:10,606 She doesn't mind me going out with the guys and having beers, 130 00:06:10,607 --> 00:06:12,008 but she's not gonna like 131 00:06:12,009 --> 00:06:13,543 the fact that there's a stripper there... 132 00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:14,844 What are you doing? 133 00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:15,945 I'm looking for where you put your balls. 134 00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:17,780 Funny. Are they in your files? 135 00:06:17,781 --> 00:06:20,083 No, check your mouth. Probably in your mouth again. 136 00:06:20,084 --> 00:06:22,719 No, not in my mouth. They're not on your body, I'll tell you that much. 137 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,354 Dude, you're burned out, all right? 138 00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:26,055 You need to take a break. 139 00:06:26,056 --> 00:06:27,590 Give yourself a few hours. 140 00:06:27,591 --> 00:06:30,093 Just drink some beers, you know, see some 'tang! 141 00:06:30,094 --> 00:06:31,694 Then you'll come back in tomorrow morning a new man. 142 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,929 You'll knock the fucking lid off these things! 143 00:06:34,797 --> 00:06:36,733 Maybe, yeah. 144 00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:40,636 So, um, who actually did the pineapple placing 145 00:06:40,637 --> 00:06:41,904 in Jason's buttocks? 146 00:06:41,905 --> 00:06:44,374 Honey, it wasn't the whole pineapple. 147 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:46,342 It was just the top with the leaves sticking out. 148 00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:48,111 Okay, but who actually did it? 149 00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:49,912 I don't know. I think we drew straws or something 150 00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:53,016 So did the winner get to do it or the loser? 151 00:06:53,017 --> 00:06:54,684 What are you doing? 152 00:06:54,685 --> 00:06:56,753 Why are you asking me this? Don't you get it? 153 00:06:56,754 --> 00:06:58,821 By the end of the night, I could be tied up 154 00:06:58,822 --> 00:07:00,957 and gagged on a train to Pittsburgh! 155 00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:03,359 Either that or I could wake up in an ice bath 156 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,627 without my kidney! 157 00:07:04,628 --> 00:07:06,829 So then why don't you just not drink? 158 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,432 Stay on guard all night so nobody can do anything to you. 159 00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,034 Not drink at my own stag? 160 00:07:11,035 --> 00:07:12,402 What are you, nuts? 161 00:07:12,403 --> 00:07:13,836 You don't get it, do you? 162 00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:15,905 No! No, I don't get it. 163 00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:18,408 I mean, I don't understand why you can't just go 164 00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:19,909 to a movie with your friends for your stag. 165 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,311 Something really actiony with someone like Brad Pitt. 166 00:07:22,312 --> 00:07:24,480 What, are you crazy? 167 00:07:24,481 --> 00:07:26,849 Oh, sorry! I'm crazy? 168 00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:29,352 You're shoving a pineapple up some guy's ass, and I'm crazy? 169 00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:32,522 It wasn't the whole pineapple! Don't you yell at me! 170 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:34,524 I would never shove a pineapple... 171 00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:35,825 It's impossible! 172 00:07:35,826 --> 00:07:38,261 It's impossible to shove 173 00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:41,064 a pineapple up a man's ass! 174 00:07:41,065 --> 00:07:42,331 I said don't yell! 175 00:07:42,332 --> 00:07:43,833 It was the... 'Cause it... 176 00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,501 Forget it! Let's just forget it, okay? 177 00:07:45,502 --> 00:07:46,736 You know what, if you're so worried, 178 00:07:46,737 --> 00:07:48,404 why don't you ask your dad or a friend 179 00:07:48,405 --> 00:07:50,440 to keep their eye out for danger? 180 00:07:50,441 --> 00:07:51,507 I did. I asked Carl. 181 00:07:51,508 --> 00:07:54,343 Carl? What? You asked Carl? 182 00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:56,479 What's wrong with Carl? 183 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,281 That is the same question all my friends ask 184 00:07:58,282 --> 00:07:59,482 whenever they meet him. 185 00:07:59,483 --> 00:08:01,150 "What the hell is wrong with Carl?" 186 00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:04,052 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 187 00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:13,028 Take me to the basement. 188 00:08:14,297 --> 00:08:16,165 You were awesome in Tiger Bait. 189 00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:18,601 What did you say? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Cut! 190 00:08:18,602 --> 00:08:20,835 What'd you say? 191 00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,045 Listen, Clark... 192 00:08:29,046 --> 00:08:30,113 It's actually Carl. 193 00:08:30,114 --> 00:08:31,914 Yeah, um, you gonna be okay here? 194 00:08:31,915 --> 00:08:33,382 You sure you can handle this all right? 195 00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:36,085 Hey, Gus, dude, I'm an actor. 196 00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:38,121 I can do this shit standing on my head. 197 00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:39,922 Okay, great. But we did tell you 198 00:08:39,923 --> 00:08:41,357 that Veronica likes to keep to herself, right? 199 00:08:41,358 --> 00:08:43,526 Oh, yeah, I know. Right. 200 00:08:43,527 --> 00:08:45,394 Right. Okay. 201 00:08:45,395 --> 00:08:46,696 It's just Tiger Bait's 202 00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:49,966 one of my all-time favorite movies, so... 203 00:08:49,967 --> 00:08:51,300 Okay. 204 00:08:51,301 --> 00:08:52,935 Have you seen Tiger Bait? 205 00:08:52,936 --> 00:08:54,904 Uh, yeah. 206 00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:57,573 Yeah, I've seen it, but, um, I'm more concerned 207 00:08:57,574 --> 00:08:59,375 about making this movie right now, 208 00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,644 so if you can't handle it just let me know. 209 00:09:01,645 --> 00:09:03,045 I can get someone else here. 210 00:09:03,046 --> 00:09:05,114 No, wouldn't want you to go to all that trouble. 211 00:09:05,115 --> 00:09:06,749 It's actually no trouble. We just need to find someone 212 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,451 that can fit into that suit, and then you're gone. 213 00:09:08,452 --> 00:09:10,286 I'm good. 214 00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:11,287 You're sure now? 215 00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:12,722 Totally sure. 216 00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:14,790 Okay, great, 'cause if you fuck up again, 217 00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,359 I will personally drag you off this set 218 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,928 by your hair, okay? 219 00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,929 All good! Yeah. Okay. 220 00:09:21,764 --> 00:09:23,399 Oh, and, Clark? Carl. 221 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,834 Easy on the door, okay? 222 00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:26,968 All right, let's pick that up. 223 00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:32,341 Shutting the gate too hard. 224 00:09:32,342 --> 00:09:34,976 I work out, so... GUS: Clark! 225 00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,084 Well, that's everything. 226 00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:43,085 Yep. 227 00:09:43,086 --> 00:09:44,420 But, Sarah, I just... 228 00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:47,123 Oh, gosh, Henry, don't. 229 00:09:47,124 --> 00:09:48,891 Don't do this, okay? 230 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,227 These things, they happen all the time, 231 00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:54,096 and the best thing to do is just to... 232 00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:55,598 just to move on. 233 00:09:55,599 --> 00:09:57,400 But I live here. 234 00:09:57,401 --> 00:10:00,736 Yeah, okay, you know what? 235 00:10:00,737 --> 00:10:02,338 Don't worry. 236 00:10:02,339 --> 00:10:03,806 It's gonna be okay. 237 00:10:03,807 --> 00:10:06,709 I'm sure you're gonna meet someone, 238 00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:09,145 you know, 'cause you're just... 239 00:10:09,146 --> 00:10:13,848 You're just a really... nice guy. 240 00:10:20,122 --> 00:10:21,657 RORY: You need to come to this! 241 00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:24,327 Okay, I'll go. 242 00:10:24,328 --> 00:10:25,561 Yes! Yes! Yes, you will! 243 00:10:25,562 --> 00:10:26,862 Okay, fantastic. 244 00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:28,631 I'm gonna need you to pick up the stripper. 245 00:10:28,632 --> 00:10:29,899 Whoa, what? 246 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,967 Yeah, the stripper I hired, 247 00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:32,068 she has no way of getting there. 248 00:10:32,069 --> 00:10:33,402 And? I need you to pick her up. 249 00:10:33,403 --> 00:10:34,503 Why don't you pick her up? 250 00:10:34,504 --> 00:10:35,705 On my bike? Oh, my God. 251 00:10:35,706 --> 00:10:36,973 I don't have a license, Luke. 252 00:10:36,974 --> 00:10:38,774 Do you know why I don't have a license? 253 00:10:38,775 --> 00:10:40,610 Yes, I know, Rory. I'll tell you why I don't have a license. 254 00:10:40,611 --> 00:10:42,245 Because after my stag, thanks to Ken, 255 00:10:42,246 --> 00:10:43,946 I no longer have a sense of depth perception, 256 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:46,282 and therefore am not allowed behind the wheel of a car. 257 00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:48,017 I get it, all right, but that was four years ago, 258 00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:49,352 and you gotta get over it. 259 00:10:49,353 --> 00:10:51,087 Oh! Oh! Make no mistake, 260 00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:52,855 I know exactly how long ago it was, 261 00:10:52,856 --> 00:10:55,691 and now the universe has aligned itself to afford me 262 00:10:55,692 --> 00:10:56,926 the opportunity to show Ken 263 00:10:56,927 --> 00:10:58,527 the same respect that he showed me. 264 00:10:58,528 --> 00:11:01,631 And I intend to. So if you would please be so kind, 265 00:11:01,632 --> 00:11:02,932 please, pretty fucking please, 266 00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,367 pick up the fucking stripper! 267 00:11:04,368 --> 00:11:06,802 Okay, I will. But first, I have to call my wife, 268 00:11:06,803 --> 00:11:08,504 and I have to lie to her, 269 00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:09,939 and that's something I'm not comfortable doing, okay? 270 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,140 So if you'll excuse me... 271 00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:13,476 That is fantastic. Say hi for me. 272 00:11:13,477 --> 00:11:14,844 Her name's Candy. 273 00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,345 Seriously, I'm picking up a Candy? 274 00:11:16,346 --> 00:11:17,346 Yeah. Here's the address. 275 00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:18,614 Fucking depth perception. 276 00:11:18,615 --> 00:11:20,049 Okay, this is the address 277 00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:21,417 of the club she works at during the day, okay? 278 00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:23,619 Now I have to go. I'm masterminding the prank 279 00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:25,021 and assigning tasks to the guys. 280 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,555 Speaking of which, do you have any Viagra? 281 00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,090 No, not on me. 282 00:11:28,091 --> 00:11:29,458 Okay, well, search continues. 283 00:11:29,459 --> 00:11:30,760 Hey, sweetie, how are you? 284 00:11:30,761 --> 00:11:32,361 Now, Candy's expecting you to pick her up 285 00:11:32,362 --> 00:11:33,829 at the strip club at 5:00 sharp, so don't be late, okay? 286 00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:35,197 Okay. See you tonight? 287 00:11:35,198 --> 00:11:36,332 Yes. 288 00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:37,867 Sweetie... Sorry. Hold on for one more sec. 289 00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:42,104 Excuse me, 5:00? The stag is not until 7:00! 290 00:11:42,105 --> 00:11:44,440 What am I gonna do with a stripper 291 00:11:44,441 --> 00:11:46,608 for two fuckin' hours?! 292 00:11:50,713 --> 00:11:51,914 (SIGHS) 293 00:11:51,915 --> 00:11:54,349 (DOOR OPENS, INDICATOR BEEPS) 294 00:11:56,452 --> 00:11:58,154 You okay? 295 00:11:58,155 --> 00:11:59,422 Two years. 296 00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:00,923 Ah, fuck her. 297 00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:03,559 All women are a pain in the ass. 298 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,927 Two years, Paul. 299 00:12:04,928 --> 00:12:06,862 I know, I know, it's shitty. 300 00:12:06,863 --> 00:12:08,931 It's shitty. Plus, I don't like it 301 00:12:08,932 --> 00:12:10,733 when people fuck with my friends. 302 00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:11,734 Thanks. 303 00:12:11,735 --> 00:12:13,736 Yeah. Now let's just... 304 00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:15,738 We'll go get drunk before the stag, okay? 305 00:12:15,739 --> 00:12:16,739 You'll feel better. 306 00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:18,206 Okay. 307 00:12:20,476 --> 00:12:22,144 She's watching. 308 00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:24,547 You think she's having second thoughts? 309 00:12:24,548 --> 00:12:25,848 I don't know. I don't know. 310 00:12:25,849 --> 00:12:27,883 I don't know, but you know what? 311 00:12:27,884 --> 00:12:29,151 You know what? 312 00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:31,087 Now's your chance to leave with pride. 313 00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:33,756 Let her watch you leave. 314 00:12:33,757 --> 00:12:36,859 Let her wonder if she made the mistake. 315 00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:37,860 Right. Right? 316 00:12:37,861 --> 00:12:38,861 Yeah. Pride. 317 00:12:38,862 --> 00:12:40,062 Yeah. Right. 318 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,797 Yeah. 319 00:12:41,798 --> 00:12:43,966 (IGNITION GRINDING) 320 00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:45,835 What the fuck are you doing? 321 00:12:45,836 --> 00:12:48,137 I don't know. 322 00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,805 Aw, this is fuckin' embarrassing. 323 00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:51,307 I know. 324 00:12:51,308 --> 00:12:53,476 "Park, Brights..." 325 00:12:53,477 --> 00:12:54,710 Who's that? 326 00:12:54,711 --> 00:12:55,878 (IGNITION GRINDING) 327 00:12:55,879 --> 00:12:57,713 Aw, cripes. That's him. 328 00:12:57,714 --> 00:13:02,550 (IGNITION GRINDING) 329 00:13:03,452 --> 00:13:05,154 Son of a... 330 00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:07,556 Wow. He's pretty cool. 331 00:13:07,557 --> 00:13:09,458 Oh. 332 00:13:09,459 --> 00:13:10,993 (IGNITION GRINDING) 333 00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:13,763 I don't think she's having second thoughts. 334 00:13:13,764 --> 00:13:15,331 Not only are you fired, 335 00:13:15,332 --> 00:13:16,999 the second he un-jams this door, 336 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,267 I'm gonna wring your fuckin' neck. 337 00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,269 Hey, man, I said I was sorry, okay? 338 00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:22,772 I was just in character, and I slammed it. 339 00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,440 Character? You're an extra! 340 00:13:24,441 --> 00:13:27,610 You're a sack of meat that happened to fit the damn jumpsuit! 341 00:13:27,611 --> 00:13:29,145 Hey, man, I'm an actor. 342 00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:30,446 I was just in the moment, you know? 343 00:13:30,447 --> 00:13:31,781 So sue me. 344 00:13:31,782 --> 00:13:33,649 Oh, we're already drawing up the paperwork. 345 00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:36,184 Okay, so you can sue me. 346 00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:40,656 Well, the spring is busted. 347 00:13:40,657 --> 00:13:43,959 The frame is jammed into the concrete base. 348 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,561 So how long? 349 00:13:45,562 --> 00:13:47,863 You know, they don't really make them like this anymore. 350 00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:49,198 I gotta get a guy 351 00:13:49,199 --> 00:13:51,767 to come in from another district, so if we... 352 00:13:51,768 --> 00:13:53,636 How long? 353 00:13:53,637 --> 00:13:54,970 At least three hours. 354 00:13:54,971 --> 00:13:57,306 Oh, well that is just great! 355 00:13:57,307 --> 00:13:58,541 Great! 356 00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:01,811 GUS: All right, guys, uh, we'll be taking 357 00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:04,413 a three-hour break. Looks like, uh... 358 00:14:04,414 --> 00:14:05,614 we're gonna be working into the night 359 00:14:05,615 --> 00:14:06,916 to make up for lost time. 360 00:14:06,917 --> 00:14:09,450 (CREW GROANING AND COMPLAINING) 361 00:14:12,188 --> 00:14:14,423 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 362 00:14:14,424 --> 00:14:18,794 Hey, can someone just grab my cell phone from my jacket? 363 00:14:18,795 --> 00:14:20,296 (RINGS) 364 00:14:20,297 --> 00:14:23,332 It's over there in my jacket. 365 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,000 Carl! What the fuck man? 366 00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:26,969 This is like the fifth message I left for you. 367 00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,737 I'm starting to freak out over here. 368 00:14:28,738 --> 00:14:30,506 I just need to make sure that you're gonna be there 369 00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:33,708 for me tonight, all right? I'm counting on you. 370 00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:36,512 Good night, Ken. 371 00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:37,980 Oh, God! Aah! 372 00:14:37,981 --> 00:14:40,783 Jesus, Mary, what's the matter with you? 373 00:14:40,784 --> 00:14:42,184 Are you okay? 374 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:44,453 You've been acting really weird all day. 375 00:14:44,454 --> 00:14:45,488 I need to talk to you. 376 00:14:45,489 --> 00:14:46,555 No, no, no, no. 377 00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:48,224 Yes, yes, yes. I really do have to go. 378 00:14:48,225 --> 00:14:50,825 Listen to me. It is your job. 379 00:14:57,233 --> 00:14:59,268 We've been working together for a while now. 380 00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:00,669 What's it been, two years? 381 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,171 Four years. 382 00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:04,473 And you are definitely qualified 383 00:15:04,474 --> 00:15:06,642 to answer this question because you know me. 384 00:15:06,643 --> 00:15:09,411 Oh, I don't think I like where this is going. 385 00:15:09,412 --> 00:15:10,880 You have a tendency to speak you mind a lot. 386 00:15:10,881 --> 00:15:12,248 We both know this. 387 00:15:12,249 --> 00:15:14,049 It's gotten you in trouble quite a few times. 388 00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:16,252 I really don't like where this is going. 389 00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:17,553 So I'm gonna ask you this, 390 00:15:17,554 --> 00:15:19,221 and I want you to be completely honest with me. 391 00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:23,191 I need you to be point blank, all right? 392 00:15:23,993 --> 00:15:25,528 Am I a dick? 393 00:15:25,529 --> 00:15:26,829 Yes. 394 00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:29,532 No, I'm... That was the question. 395 00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,533 I'm asking you. 396 00:15:30,534 --> 00:15:32,401 Ken, you're a dick. 397 00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:34,270 You're the kind of dick who thinks he's a funny dick, 398 00:15:34,271 --> 00:15:36,372 so he pulls jackass dick pranks 399 00:15:36,373 --> 00:15:37,673 on his friends and coworkers 400 00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:38,941 that really only get laughs 401 00:15:38,942 --> 00:15:41,477 out of the other dicks in the office. 402 00:15:41,478 --> 00:15:43,279 Well, that is until those dicks are sitting 403 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,680 having their dick lunch at the dick table 404 00:15:44,681 --> 00:15:47,016 with their dick friends shaking their dick heads 405 00:15:47,017 --> 00:15:51,687 in amazement at what a bigger dick you are than all of them. 406 00:15:51,688 --> 00:15:54,790 So, yes, Ken, you are a dick. 407 00:15:54,791 --> 00:15:56,191 Cool? 408 00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:57,660 Yeah, thank you very much. 409 00:15:57,661 --> 00:16:00,763 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 410 00:16:00,764 --> 00:16:02,463 ♪ Just come on 411 00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:06,467 ♪ Here we go now 412 00:16:09,038 --> 00:16:11,339 Come on, it's 5:00. 413 00:16:14,009 --> 00:16:17,945 Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 414 00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,416 LUKE: Oh, shit, shit! Luke? 415 00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:21,283 Shit, shit! 416 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,484 WOMAN: Luke! Shit, shit. 417 00:16:22,485 --> 00:16:24,452 It's me, Marsha! 418 00:16:26,555 --> 00:16:28,724 Hi! Hey, Marsha. 419 00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:29,858 How are you? 420 00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:31,226 Good! 421 00:16:31,227 --> 00:16:33,195 We're just coming back from Busy Bee. 422 00:16:33,196 --> 00:16:35,097 You know, you guys have to take Isabelle there. 423 00:16:35,098 --> 00:16:36,398 It is so cathartic. 424 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:38,834 Yeah, well, you know what? We will make a date. 425 00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:40,102 I'll tell Liz, and we'll all go. 426 00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:41,103 So, good to see you. 427 00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:42,538 Yes! Yeah, yeah. 428 00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:45,140 Uh, what brings you to this neck of the woods? 429 00:16:45,141 --> 00:16:47,742 (FUNK MUSIC) 430 00:16:57,052 --> 00:16:59,855 Shopping. Shopping. 431 00:16:59,856 --> 00:17:01,290 For, uh, Liz. 432 00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:04,193 Shopping for Liz, because I love her so much. 433 00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:06,428 That is the sweetest thing ever. 434 00:17:06,429 --> 00:17:07,262 Isn't it? 435 00:17:07,263 --> 00:17:09,531 Hi. Are you Luke? 436 00:17:09,532 --> 00:17:12,001 No. No! 437 00:17:12,002 --> 00:17:13,636 No. Yes! I'm Luke. 438 00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:16,971 I'm not the Luke that she... Oh. 439 00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:27,949 (COUGHS) 440 00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:42,663 So celebrities read those magazines, too, huh? 441 00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,068 Cool. 442 00:17:46,069 --> 00:17:48,069 Totally cool. 443 00:17:49,204 --> 00:17:51,373 You ever... 444 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:53,541 read any articles about yourself in there? 445 00:17:56,311 --> 00:17:59,046 Yeah, course, you probably do. 446 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,816 That must be cool. 447 00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:05,120 I'd love to be in a magazine like that. 448 00:18:05,121 --> 00:18:07,790 Love it. 449 00:18:07,791 --> 00:18:09,457 Be awesome. 450 00:18:10,192 --> 00:18:13,062 Oh, except, of course, 451 00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:14,897 that whole thing when you 452 00:18:14,898 --> 00:18:19,066 went out and you didn't have any underwear on. 453 00:18:20,369 --> 00:18:22,837 They got those pictures. 454 00:18:24,106 --> 00:18:27,209 That sucked, but... 455 00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:29,044 Ever since then, I always make sure 456 00:18:29,045 --> 00:18:30,512 I have underpants on when I go out. 457 00:18:30,513 --> 00:18:31,914 VERONICA: Okay, you know what? 458 00:18:31,915 --> 00:18:33,582 Why don't you just stay over there 459 00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:34,983 on your side of the elevator, 460 00:18:34,984 --> 00:18:36,285 and I'll stay right here on my side, 461 00:18:36,286 --> 00:18:38,587 and we'll just be as quiet as we can be 462 00:18:38,588 --> 00:18:40,355 until the guy comes to let us out, okay? 463 00:18:40,356 --> 00:18:43,225 Yeah. Yeah, totally. 464 00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:44,560 Totally cool. 465 00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:46,628 Should, um... 466 00:18:46,629 --> 00:18:49,064 Should work on my screenplay anyway. 467 00:18:49,065 --> 00:18:50,933 Kinda my passion right now. 468 00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:53,168 Oh, my God. 469 00:18:53,169 --> 00:18:57,973 (BLUES MUSIC PLAYING) 470 00:18:57,974 --> 00:18:59,908 LUKE: That is when my dad walked in 471 00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:02,077 and literally caught us 472 00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:04,046 rolling the joints in the moment, so... 473 00:19:04,047 --> 00:19:05,781 (LAUGHING) Yeah, awkward. 474 00:19:05,782 --> 00:19:09,084 That's hilarious. How long ago was that? 475 00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:11,852 Oh, jeez, um... 476 00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:14,990 Wow. 17 years ago. 477 00:19:14,991 --> 00:19:17,626 Oh, wow. 17 years ago. 478 00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:19,828 I was 6 when that happened, 479 00:19:19,829 --> 00:19:22,998 which is the same age as your... 480 00:19:22,999 --> 00:19:24,733 Same age as my daughter. 481 00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:26,034 Wow. 482 00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:27,768 Hmm. 483 00:19:28,537 --> 00:19:30,873 I mean, my dad's, you know... 484 00:19:30,874 --> 00:19:33,342 He's usually pretty... What are you doing? 485 00:19:33,343 --> 00:19:36,645 Oh, I'm a bit of a Web nerd. 486 00:19:36,646 --> 00:19:38,080 Yeah. 487 00:19:38,081 --> 00:19:40,783 So, you're married? 488 00:19:40,784 --> 00:19:41,850 Yes. 489 00:19:41,851 --> 00:19:43,585 Happily married? 490 00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:45,254 Yeah. 491 00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:47,055 Yeah. Yes. 492 00:19:47,056 --> 00:19:49,291 I mean, yeah. I mean, every... 493 00:19:49,292 --> 00:19:52,327 Every marriage goes through a difficult period, 494 00:19:52,328 --> 00:19:55,531 and you just work through the... 495 00:19:55,532 --> 00:19:58,133 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm happily married. 496 00:19:58,134 --> 00:19:59,234 Yeah. 497 00:19:59,235 --> 00:20:02,003 Do you... ever play? 498 00:20:09,044 --> 00:20:10,112 Sports? 499 00:20:10,113 --> 00:20:12,613 (LAUGHING) 500 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:16,885 Oh, I should probably get you downstairs, 501 00:20:16,886 --> 00:20:20,022 you know, 'cause you gotta get, um... Right. 502 00:20:20,023 --> 00:20:21,223 Stripping... Um... 503 00:20:21,224 --> 00:20:22,391 Are you gonna be warm enough? 504 00:20:22,392 --> 00:20:23,692 When you're down there, you think? 505 00:20:23,693 --> 00:20:26,061 Aw, for fuck's sake, Henry! 506 00:20:26,062 --> 00:20:27,796 People grow apart! 507 00:20:27,797 --> 00:20:29,698 Besides, that guy's nothing like you, right? 508 00:20:29,699 --> 00:20:32,868 He's a total badass, and you're a fuckin' sweetheart. 509 00:20:32,869 --> 00:20:35,871 Yeah. God, I wish I was more like you. 510 00:20:35,872 --> 00:20:37,239 Sure. 511 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,708 This tough-skinned guy that never lets anything get to him. 512 00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:42,578 Ah, I know. 513 00:20:42,579 --> 00:20:45,380 What kind of woman wants a tough guy, bad boy like that anyway? 514 00:20:45,381 --> 00:20:47,182 Exactly. Pfft! 515 00:20:47,183 --> 00:20:49,418 See the truck? Piece of shit. 516 00:20:49,419 --> 00:20:50,686 Tough on gas, I bet. 517 00:20:50,687 --> 00:20:52,688 Fuck it! Let him have her, right? 518 00:20:52,689 --> 00:20:54,289 You just need to find somebody 519 00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:56,091 who suits you, that's all. 520 00:20:56,092 --> 00:20:57,292 For who I am. 521 00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,261 Yeah. 522 00:20:59,262 --> 00:21:00,529 Or I could become tough. 523 00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:02,531 Oh, for fuck's sake. 524 00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:04,231 Like Jason Statham. 525 00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:09,137 HENRY: Why not? 526 00:21:09,138 --> 00:21:10,472 Why not? 527 00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:12,241 Because you can't just become tough, Henry. 528 00:21:12,242 --> 00:21:13,842 You know, you're just kinda... 529 00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:15,611 You're born with it. You have it, or you don't. 530 00:21:15,612 --> 00:21:18,280 What you gotta do is just focus all your fuckin' energy 531 00:21:18,281 --> 00:21:21,416 on finding a woman who loves you for you. 532 00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:25,087 But who I am never gets the woman he wants. 533 00:21:25,088 --> 00:21:26,822 I should rethink who I am. 534 00:21:26,823 --> 00:21:28,824 Jesus, can we just get fucking drunk, okay? 535 00:21:28,825 --> 00:21:31,260 And drop all this psycho mumbo jumbo. 536 00:21:31,261 --> 00:21:32,828 What's with your chest? 537 00:21:32,829 --> 00:21:34,463 I think I pulled a muscle trying to lift 538 00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:37,065 your fucking spirits all day. Now let's get drunk! 539 00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:38,533 Hang on. Hang on. What? 540 00:21:38,534 --> 00:21:40,702 Just another question. 541 00:21:40,703 --> 00:21:42,337 I should probably warn you that these guys 542 00:21:42,338 --> 00:21:44,206 can get a little wild. 543 00:21:44,207 --> 00:21:46,141 I've been drinking with most of them since high school, 544 00:21:46,142 --> 00:21:47,843 and you know what? 545 00:21:47,844 --> 00:21:51,280 A few of them can get a little crazy. Just a heads up. 546 00:21:51,281 --> 00:21:53,382 Am I safe? 547 00:21:53,383 --> 00:21:54,650 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure. 548 00:21:54,651 --> 00:21:57,686 I mean, I think you should be fine. 549 00:21:57,687 --> 00:21:59,087 Great. 550 00:21:59,088 --> 00:22:01,590 Don't worry about it. I'll keep my eyes on you. 551 00:22:01,591 --> 00:22:03,258 Ahem. I mean, not when you're stripping. 552 00:22:03,259 --> 00:22:04,693 I don't mean that to be creepy at all. 553 00:22:04,694 --> 00:22:06,495 Like, I'll wash your back. Watch your back. 554 00:22:06,496 --> 00:22:08,630 You're clean. I don't need to wash your back. 555 00:22:08,631 --> 00:22:10,699 I don't want the guys to see me like this. 556 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:13,502 Say something nice. Boost my spirits. 557 00:22:13,503 --> 00:22:15,237 Your hair looks great. 558 00:22:15,238 --> 00:22:16,338 Thank you. 559 00:22:16,339 --> 00:22:18,507 Like a... Like a sports guy. 560 00:22:18,508 --> 00:22:21,976 Yes. See? Was that so hard? Let's go. 561 00:22:23,712 --> 00:22:25,948 I'll see you downstairs. 562 00:22:25,949 --> 00:22:27,249 Aah! 563 00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:28,750 Oh, my God! 564 00:22:28,751 --> 00:22:29,551 (LAUGHING) 565 00:22:29,552 --> 00:22:30,786 Oh, my God! 566 00:22:30,787 --> 00:22:32,287 Let's tickle this Wild Turkey! 567 00:22:32,288 --> 00:22:33,622 Ah ha ha! 568 00:22:33,623 --> 00:22:34,923 Oh... what's up? 569 00:22:34,924 --> 00:22:36,892 Surprised the wife let you out tonight. 570 00:22:36,893 --> 00:22:39,461 Please, like I need to ask permission to leave my home. 571 00:22:39,462 --> 00:22:41,762 Did you tell her you're working late? 572 00:22:43,298 --> 00:22:45,033 Surprised you're out, eh? 573 00:22:45,034 --> 00:22:47,402 Thought this guy'd be home begging for a pity fuck. 574 00:22:47,403 --> 00:22:50,137 (LAUGHING) 575 00:22:52,374 --> 00:22:54,041 What? 576 00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:56,545 See you guys downstairs. 577 00:22:56,546 --> 00:22:59,514 Yeah. Yep, we'll see you down there, Henry. 578 00:22:59,515 --> 00:23:01,383 What's going on? 579 00:23:01,384 --> 00:23:02,751 Nice. 580 00:23:02,752 --> 00:23:03,618 What'd I do? 581 00:23:03,619 --> 00:23:05,120 Fucking guy got dumped today. 582 00:23:05,121 --> 00:23:06,888 Oh, my God, again? 583 00:23:06,889 --> 00:23:08,156 Yeah. Poor fucker. 584 00:23:08,157 --> 00:23:10,425 I've been listening to him piss and moan all day. 585 00:23:10,426 --> 00:23:13,328 Aw, jeez. Well... 586 00:23:13,329 --> 00:23:17,466 who knows, I mean, maybe now he'll finally realize the truth, huh? 587 00:23:17,467 --> 00:23:20,268 The truth. The truth about what? 588 00:23:20,269 --> 00:23:22,037 Hello? He's gay. 589 00:23:22,038 --> 00:23:22,971 What? 590 00:23:22,972 --> 00:23:24,506 What the fuck are you talking about? 591 00:23:24,507 --> 00:23:25,874 Henry's not gay. 592 00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:27,609 Are you serious? You've never thought... 593 00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:29,811 No! No! I think you're fucking gay 594 00:23:29,812 --> 00:23:31,380 for thinking that he's fucking gay! 595 00:23:31,381 --> 00:23:33,682 That dude has been my best friend since grade four, Luke! 596 00:23:33,683 --> 00:23:35,350 Grade fucking four! 597 00:23:35,351 --> 00:23:38,720 And as you know, I'm not a big fuckin' fan of the homos! 598 00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,689 Easy, okay. Homophobic. 599 00:23:40,690 --> 00:23:43,091 Easy. I'm sorry, all right? I just thought... 600 00:23:43,092 --> 00:23:44,393 No, you didn't think. 601 00:23:44,394 --> 00:23:46,361 That's the problem. You didn't think. 602 00:23:46,362 --> 00:23:49,231 Just 'cause the guy's got a little bit of a pussy handicap, 603 00:23:49,232 --> 00:23:51,666 that doesn't automatically make him a faggot, you know. 604 00:23:51,667 --> 00:23:53,702 Okay, all right, I'm sorry, all right? 605 00:23:53,703 --> 00:23:55,904 Fine. Let's go. 606 00:23:55,905 --> 00:23:57,939 By the way, faggot? Not so PC anymore. 607 00:23:57,940 --> 00:23:59,775 ♪ One of the money, two for the show ♪ 608 00:23:59,776 --> 00:24:02,611 ♪ Three to get ready, four for the dough ♪ 609 00:24:02,612 --> 00:24:05,781 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING IN BAR) 610 00:24:05,782 --> 00:24:07,348 Luke! 611 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:11,586 So, no sign of Ken or Carl. 612 00:24:11,587 --> 00:24:12,921 Hey, look, Henry, I'm really sorry 613 00:24:12,922 --> 00:24:14,489 about what I said upstairs, all right? 614 00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:17,092 So, can we just let that go, bust loose tonight? 615 00:24:17,093 --> 00:24:18,627 Hey, did you guys bring the stencil? 616 00:24:18,628 --> 00:24:19,961 No, we didn't. 617 00:24:19,962 --> 00:24:22,196 God damn it! Okay, what about the Viagra? 618 00:24:23,298 --> 00:24:25,700 Oh, come on. 619 00:24:25,701 --> 00:24:27,301 Okay, let me think. 620 00:24:29,438 --> 00:24:31,073 Just like old times, huh, boys? 621 00:24:31,074 --> 00:24:33,608 Huh? Have some drinks, get a little crazy, 622 00:24:33,609 --> 00:24:35,010 maybe prank Ken, 623 00:24:35,011 --> 00:24:37,546 and then we'll definitely see some pussy! 624 00:24:37,547 --> 00:24:39,781 Uncle Luke? 625 00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,583 Pam. 626 00:24:41,584 --> 00:24:43,118 What are you... 627 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,354 I had a... I was just here for a dinner up... 628 00:24:46,355 --> 00:24:48,090 A business dinner upstairs. 629 00:24:48,091 --> 00:24:50,859 Yeah. Then I just came down to use the bathroom. 630 00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:53,829 So... yeah, these are friends I ran into. 631 00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:54,930 Hey. 632 00:24:54,931 --> 00:24:57,599 Yeah, it's good. You're working here? 633 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,069 Well, that's good. How's Mom? How's your mom? 634 00:25:01,070 --> 00:25:03,605 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 635 00:25:03,606 --> 00:25:05,406 ♪ Okay 636 00:25:10,312 --> 00:25:11,580 KEN: (WHISPERING) Rory! Psst! 637 00:25:11,581 --> 00:25:13,248 You seen Carl? 638 00:25:13,249 --> 00:25:14,950 Hey, look! Ken's here! 639 00:25:14,951 --> 00:25:17,919 (CHEERING) 640 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:18,753 Oh, hey! 641 00:25:18,754 --> 00:25:20,155 LUKE: There he is! 642 00:25:20,156 --> 00:25:22,324 The man taking the death march, huh? 643 00:25:22,325 --> 00:25:23,859 (LAUGHTER) 644 00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:24,926 Holy shit. 645 00:25:24,927 --> 00:25:26,761 Where's Carl? Have you seen... Carl! 646 00:25:26,762 --> 00:25:28,597 Look, People are gonna be looking for me! 647 00:25:28,598 --> 00:25:30,232 LUKE: No, no, no, like you're walking down the aisle, 648 00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:31,566 getting married. 649 00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:33,135 You're taking the death march, okay? 650 00:25:33,136 --> 00:25:34,336 The death march? 651 00:25:34,337 --> 00:25:35,904 Oh! (LAUGHING) 652 00:25:35,905 --> 00:25:37,506 MAN: Scared! Scared! 653 00:25:37,507 --> 00:25:39,141 Shut up, okay? 654 00:25:39,142 --> 00:25:41,409 'Cause I know why you guys are here, all right? 655 00:25:41,410 --> 00:25:42,711 I'm gonna tell you something right now, 656 00:25:42,712 --> 00:25:44,946 whatever you've concocted to fuck me up, 657 00:25:44,947 --> 00:25:47,616 it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work! 658 00:25:47,617 --> 00:25:50,752 'Cause I'm gonna be on point like a sniper. 659 00:25:50,753 --> 00:25:51,953 I am going to be... 660 00:25:51,954 --> 00:25:53,555 You scared him. Sharp as a tack! 661 00:25:53,556 --> 00:25:54,723 I want to talk to you a second. 662 00:25:54,724 --> 00:25:56,191 KEN: Whatever you got planned, sorry! 663 00:25:56,192 --> 00:25:57,859 I'm gonna bust your bubble right now, 664 00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,828 'cause you're not gonna get me tonight. 665 00:25:59,829 --> 00:26:01,897 It's not... It's not gonna work out for you. 666 00:26:01,898 --> 00:26:04,499 Look, Henry, you gotta do me a favor, okay? 667 00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:05,834 You gotta... You gotta try to man up a bit. 668 00:26:05,835 --> 00:26:07,135 What do you mean? 669 00:26:07,136 --> 00:26:08,870 You know, just kind of grow some fucking balls, 670 00:26:08,871 --> 00:26:10,572 act a little tougher. 671 00:26:10,573 --> 00:26:14,009 Yes! I need to toughen up so that I can get more ladies, 672 00:26:14,010 --> 00:26:17,078 and, you know, the-the-the pussy 673 00:26:17,079 --> 00:26:18,146 and stuff like that. 674 00:26:18,147 --> 00:26:19,548 Why do you keep rubbing your chest? 675 00:26:19,549 --> 00:26:20,682 Is your shirt soft? It is soft. 676 00:26:20,683 --> 00:26:23,418 Just stick close by me tonight, okay? 677 00:26:23,419 --> 00:26:26,054 Watch what I do and try to pretend to be tougher. 678 00:26:26,055 --> 00:26:27,689 Yes! I should get a shirt like yours. 679 00:26:27,690 --> 00:26:29,891 Stop being so obsessed with my fucking shirt! 680 00:26:29,892 --> 00:26:31,593 Why are you so angry? I'm not angry! 681 00:26:31,594 --> 00:26:33,028 Angry. I know when you're angry. 682 00:26:33,029 --> 00:26:34,262 I'm not! 683 00:26:34,263 --> 00:26:36,264 I know when something's bothering you, 684 00:26:36,265 --> 00:26:37,598 so just out with it. 685 00:26:39,568 --> 00:26:42,204 Okay, okay. 686 00:26:42,205 --> 00:26:45,974 But I swear to God, if you say anything to anybody, 687 00:26:45,975 --> 00:26:47,742 I will bite out your fucking tongue 688 00:26:47,743 --> 00:26:49,277 and I will spit it right up your asshole. 689 00:26:49,278 --> 00:26:52,113 Yeah, still sounds angry though, but okay. 690 00:26:52,114 --> 00:26:55,016 That's just how I talk. Okay. 691 00:26:55,017 --> 00:26:58,952 Okay, last week I was running to catch this bus, right? And... 692 00:27:01,223 --> 00:27:02,991 I felt shit jiggle. 693 00:27:02,992 --> 00:27:04,992 Okay. 694 00:27:07,762 --> 00:27:09,030 Oh, that's it. 695 00:27:09,031 --> 00:27:10,599 Yeah. 696 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,668 Oh, Paul, um, that's what happens when you get older. 697 00:27:13,669 --> 00:27:14,836 I mean, stuff starts to jiggle. 698 00:27:14,837 --> 00:27:16,304 Henry, this is me. 699 00:27:16,305 --> 00:27:17,906 I never used to give a shit about any of that stuff. 700 00:27:17,907 --> 00:27:19,407 I never cared how I looked. 701 00:27:19,408 --> 00:27:21,142 Now I'm walking around like half a faggot all the time, 702 00:27:21,143 --> 00:27:23,044 worried about being out of shape and out of breath, 703 00:27:23,045 --> 00:27:24,813 and I get these fucking pains in my chest! 704 00:27:24,814 --> 00:27:26,314 Wait, what? What? 705 00:27:26,315 --> 00:27:27,249 Oh. 706 00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:29,050 You have pains in your chest? 707 00:27:29,051 --> 00:27:30,986 Yeah, it's nothing. I just... 708 00:27:30,987 --> 00:27:32,954 I get this pain in the ass pain in my chest. 709 00:27:32,955 --> 00:27:37,759 I swear to God, if you fucking tell anybody. 710 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,461 (SIREN) 711 00:27:41,329 --> 00:27:42,530 It's gas. 712 00:27:42,531 --> 00:27:44,332 (LAUGHTER) You're fucking dead. 713 00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:46,935 EMT: You're gonna want to release that. Mm-hmm. 714 00:27:46,936 --> 00:27:50,171 My advice, go home, drink some ginger ale, 715 00:27:50,172 --> 00:27:51,373 drop a couple of Alka-Seltzer, 716 00:27:51,374 --> 00:27:53,775 let nature do the rest. 717 00:27:53,776 --> 00:27:54,876 You boys play safe. 718 00:27:54,877 --> 00:27:56,778 Thank you. Sweet. 719 00:27:56,779 --> 00:27:58,613 You're not the stripper? 720 00:27:58,614 --> 00:28:01,049 Can I get my $20 back? 721 00:28:01,050 --> 00:28:04,152 Man! Friggin' writer's block! 722 00:28:04,153 --> 00:28:06,855 Uhh! 723 00:28:06,856 --> 00:28:07,922 Been working on this screenplay 724 00:28:07,923 --> 00:28:09,858 for, like, 11 years. 725 00:28:09,859 --> 00:28:12,594 Stuck in this writer's block for, like... 726 00:28:12,595 --> 00:28:14,496 eight years. 727 00:28:14,497 --> 00:28:16,164 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 728 00:28:16,165 --> 00:28:18,199 I'll tell you the part I'm stuck at. 729 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,003 The, uh, hero dog, he's a Bouvier, 730 00:28:22,004 --> 00:28:24,439 takes off from his owner's house, right? 731 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,408 And joins up with all these neighborhood dogs 732 00:28:26,409 --> 00:28:27,809 to go on an adventure. 733 00:28:27,810 --> 00:28:29,944 So they're in this alleyway, 734 00:28:29,945 --> 00:28:31,479 and they find this red wine, 735 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,016 then they go to this crazy humping party, right? 736 00:28:35,017 --> 00:28:37,552 So they're all, like, doggy-wasted 737 00:28:37,553 --> 00:28:39,988 and having an amazing time, 738 00:28:39,989 --> 00:28:41,623 and everyone thinks that Barney... 739 00:28:41,624 --> 00:28:43,658 Oh, that's the Bouvier. 740 00:28:43,659 --> 00:28:45,660 Barney the Bouvier. 741 00:28:45,661 --> 00:28:46,961 Everyone thinks he's, uh, 742 00:28:46,962 --> 00:28:48,997 just, like, the coolest doggy dude, right? 743 00:28:48,998 --> 00:28:50,732 'Cause, well, he scored the booze, 744 00:28:50,733 --> 00:28:56,304 and, uh, he's just this, like, good-looking beast. 745 00:28:56,305 --> 00:29:01,176 So Barney's checking out this hot poodle's ass, right? 746 00:29:01,177 --> 00:29:03,178 When all of a sudden, bam! 747 00:29:03,179 --> 00:29:04,846 Someone kicks the door in! 748 00:29:04,847 --> 00:29:05,947 The dog catcher? 749 00:29:05,948 --> 00:29:08,183 What do you mean? 750 00:29:08,184 --> 00:29:10,051 Who came in to get the dogs? 751 00:29:10,052 --> 00:29:13,722 Oh, no, no. It was Barney's owners 752 00:29:13,723 --> 00:29:15,490 and their little daughter. 753 00:29:15,491 --> 00:29:19,361 So the owners come in, and they slap the collar on him, 754 00:29:19,362 --> 00:29:21,229 and they start hauling him off, right? 755 00:29:21,230 --> 00:29:24,165 And then it's, like, cue dramatic music, 756 00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:27,369 like "the emperor has fallen" type stuff, right? 757 00:29:27,370 --> 00:29:28,570 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 758 00:29:28,571 --> 00:29:31,606 But the kid is happier than shit now, right? 759 00:29:31,607 --> 00:29:33,641 She's just draped all over Barney 760 00:29:33,642 --> 00:29:35,443 just hugging and kissing him. 761 00:29:35,444 --> 00:29:37,712 Barney's not cluing into the kid, though. 762 00:29:37,713 --> 00:29:40,148 He turns to the hot poodle, 763 00:29:40,149 --> 00:29:42,784 and just as he's leaving, he says, 764 00:29:42,785 --> 00:29:44,486 "Being owned sucks." 765 00:29:44,487 --> 00:29:46,788 (LAUGHS) 766 00:29:46,789 --> 00:29:48,923 That's all I got. 767 00:29:48,924 --> 00:29:51,860 (LAUGHING) 768 00:29:51,861 --> 00:29:53,561 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 769 00:29:53,562 --> 00:29:55,797 Gas. Wow. 770 00:29:55,798 --> 00:29:57,198 That's a relief, huh? 771 00:29:57,199 --> 00:29:58,800 Whatever. 772 00:29:58,801 --> 00:30:00,235 Whatever. You're telling me 773 00:30:00,236 --> 00:30:02,804 you're not relieved it's not a heart attack? 774 00:30:02,805 --> 00:30:05,373 It's gas, Henry. 775 00:30:05,374 --> 00:30:07,175 It's fucking gas. 776 00:30:07,176 --> 00:30:10,311 What do I look like, a grandpa? Jesus. 777 00:30:10,312 --> 00:30:12,914 And I keep gettin' this heartburn. 778 00:30:12,915 --> 00:30:15,183 Lately, I've been tryin' to hide this bald spot, 779 00:30:15,184 --> 00:30:17,519 and I got fuckin' man tits that jiggle when I run. 780 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,187 I mean, I'm 30-fucking-7. 781 00:30:19,188 --> 00:30:21,890 I gotta say, pal, it is refreshing 782 00:30:21,891 --> 00:30:23,525 to see this side of you. 783 00:30:23,526 --> 00:30:25,326 This... sensitive side. 784 00:30:25,327 --> 00:30:27,762 Let's us all know there's a big old heart 785 00:30:27,763 --> 00:30:29,931 beating in that burly chest of yours. 786 00:30:29,932 --> 00:30:31,933 Henry, keep it down, okay? 787 00:30:31,934 --> 00:30:34,235 And cut that flowery shit out. 788 00:30:34,236 --> 00:30:35,470 It is funny. 789 00:30:35,471 --> 00:30:38,440 You know, here I am trying to mend a broken heart. 790 00:30:38,441 --> 00:30:41,476 (SIGHS) And you're worried about yours breaking. 791 00:30:41,477 --> 00:30:43,545 Okay, we gotta toughen you up right fucking now! 792 00:30:43,546 --> 00:30:45,412 Okay, yes! I'm game. 793 00:30:46,581 --> 00:30:47,949 Here's the plan. 794 00:30:47,950 --> 00:30:49,784 Okay, you see that babe with Luke? Mm-hmm. 795 00:30:49,785 --> 00:30:50,885 She's the stripper. 796 00:30:50,886 --> 00:30:52,187 She's pretty. 797 00:30:52,188 --> 00:30:53,588 She's been hired to flirt with these losers 798 00:30:53,589 --> 00:30:56,424 and give them boners, so they'll buy more booze. 799 00:30:56,425 --> 00:30:57,692 HENRY: Okay. 800 00:30:57,693 --> 00:30:58,960 Go hit on her. 801 00:30:58,961 --> 00:31:00,895 But... Wait, what? 802 00:31:00,896 --> 00:31:02,597 No, she's... She's a stripper. 803 00:31:02,598 --> 00:31:03,965 Exactly. 804 00:31:03,966 --> 00:31:05,366 It'll be like learning how to pick up chicks 805 00:31:05,367 --> 00:31:07,535 with training wheels. (LAUGHS) 806 00:31:07,536 --> 00:31:08,870 Right. 807 00:31:08,871 --> 00:31:10,438 Yes. 808 00:31:10,439 --> 00:31:13,508 So, just, uh, hypothetically speaking, 809 00:31:13,509 --> 00:31:17,212 if you were to have a wild night of adultery... 810 00:31:17,213 --> 00:31:19,113 Oh! What kind of a... 811 00:31:19,114 --> 00:31:21,214 What kind of girl would you be into? 812 00:31:22,183 --> 00:31:24,452 No, no, I... (LAUGHS) 813 00:31:24,453 --> 00:31:26,020 PAUL: Hey! 814 00:31:26,021 --> 00:31:28,355 Hey! Good. Hi. 815 00:31:30,825 --> 00:31:33,027 Oh! Uh, sorry. Paul, this is Candy, 816 00:31:33,028 --> 00:31:34,562 and this is Henry, so... 817 00:31:34,563 --> 00:31:35,797 Yeah. 818 00:31:35,798 --> 00:31:37,632 Hey, Lukey, can I talk to you? 819 00:31:37,633 --> 00:31:38,900 Are you okay? 820 00:31:38,901 --> 00:31:39,934 Yeah. Okay. 821 00:31:39,935 --> 00:31:43,071 Whoops. (LAUGHS) 822 00:31:43,072 --> 00:31:45,974 Well, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 823 00:31:45,975 --> 00:31:47,976 Thanks, it's nice to meet you, too. 824 00:31:47,977 --> 00:31:49,509 Ah! Well... 825 00:31:57,118 --> 00:32:00,654 So, do you, uh... 826 00:32:02,357 --> 00:32:03,824 come here often? 827 00:32:04,692 --> 00:32:05,760 No. No. 828 00:32:05,761 --> 00:32:07,328 You? 829 00:32:07,329 --> 00:32:08,830 No. (LAUGHS) 830 00:32:08,831 --> 00:32:11,833 No, me, either. 831 00:32:11,834 --> 00:32:13,668 So we got that in common. 832 00:32:13,669 --> 00:32:15,303 You're the oldest guy in the group, right? 833 00:32:15,304 --> 00:32:17,505 By, like, a month. Well, still. 834 00:32:17,506 --> 00:32:21,276 You ever, uh... 835 00:32:21,277 --> 00:32:22,777 You ever think about dying? 836 00:32:22,778 --> 00:32:24,512 Oh, yeah, sure. 837 00:32:24,513 --> 00:32:26,614 Really? Yeah. 838 00:32:26,615 --> 00:32:28,416 Totally. Yeah. 839 00:32:28,417 --> 00:32:30,151 Especially, like, ever since Isabelle was born. 840 00:32:30,152 --> 00:32:32,353 Yeah, now we got another one on the way. 841 00:32:32,354 --> 00:32:33,821 Think about if anything happened to me, 842 00:32:33,822 --> 00:32:35,089 you know, who would take care of them? 843 00:32:35,090 --> 00:32:36,925 So you think it's... it's normal. 844 00:32:36,926 --> 00:32:38,626 It's a normal thing to think about? 845 00:32:38,627 --> 00:32:40,995 So, uh, how long have you been in the arts? 846 00:32:40,996 --> 00:32:44,664 Just so you know, private dances are 60 bucks. 847 00:32:45,867 --> 00:32:47,869 Yeah. Wow! 848 00:32:47,870 --> 00:32:49,337 Okay. 849 00:32:49,338 --> 00:32:52,307 That's cool. I mean... cool to me. 850 00:32:52,308 --> 00:32:54,142 Does that include a drink? 851 00:32:54,143 --> 00:32:56,778 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 852 00:32:56,779 --> 00:32:58,346 PAM: You're joking, right? 853 00:32:58,347 --> 00:32:59,480 No, it's part of a prank we're playing on the groom. 854 00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:00,682 Yeah, I don't think so. 855 00:33:00,683 --> 00:33:02,150 I can pay you for it! 856 00:33:02,151 --> 00:33:04,085 Isn't that something the stripper should be doing? 857 00:33:04,086 --> 00:33:06,020 Uh, I already asked her and she passed. 858 00:33:06,021 --> 00:33:08,222 Yeah. Sorry, it's not my kinda thing. 859 00:33:08,223 --> 00:33:09,791 What's not your thing? 860 00:33:09,792 --> 00:33:11,326 Oh, hey, Ken! It's not her... She's just... 861 00:33:11,327 --> 00:33:13,760 It was just a very complicated drink order. 862 00:33:20,201 --> 00:33:22,869 Thank you, Pam. That will be all for now. 863 00:33:24,238 --> 00:33:25,974 Sometimes I have trouble grabbing things. 864 00:33:25,975 --> 00:33:27,308 Right. 865 00:33:27,309 --> 00:33:28,977 Still having some depth perception issues. 866 00:33:28,978 --> 00:33:30,745 Okay, guys, let's play some cards. 867 00:33:30,746 --> 00:33:32,146 Yeah, let's do this! 868 00:33:32,147 --> 00:33:33,915 I think you know most of the people here. 869 00:33:33,916 --> 00:33:36,150 Not sure if you remember Randy. 870 00:33:36,151 --> 00:33:37,986 No, I don't. Hey, how you, uh... 871 00:33:37,987 --> 00:33:39,687 Yeah, you actually came to my stag 872 00:33:39,688 --> 00:33:41,122 with a buddy of mine a couple of years ago. 873 00:33:41,123 --> 00:33:43,291 Oh, cool. 874 00:33:43,292 --> 00:33:45,226 No, not really. You guys got me drunk 875 00:33:45,227 --> 00:33:47,228 till I passed out, and then you superglued 876 00:33:47,229 --> 00:33:48,296 some of my fingers together 877 00:33:48,297 --> 00:33:49,497 so all I could do was this. 878 00:33:49,498 --> 00:33:52,200 BOTH: Live long and prosper. 879 00:33:52,201 --> 00:33:53,901 Yeah. (LAUGHING) 880 00:33:53,902 --> 00:33:55,203 That must have hurt. 881 00:33:55,204 --> 00:33:56,404 More than you know. 882 00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:58,973 My fiancée realized I couldn't slip 883 00:33:58,974 --> 00:34:00,108 a wedding ring on my finger, 884 00:34:00,109 --> 00:34:01,376 so she postponed the wedding. 885 00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:02,977 Oh. 886 00:34:02,978 --> 00:34:04,612 I... I, uh... I had no idea. 887 00:34:04,613 --> 00:34:06,714 Then before we even got to the altar, 888 00:34:06,715 --> 00:34:08,349 she decided to sleep with my best friend, 889 00:34:08,350 --> 00:34:10,951 so the wedding was called off. 890 00:34:13,187 --> 00:34:14,856 You know, I remember at my stag... 891 00:34:14,857 --> 00:34:17,792 I was so enraged that I confronted my ex-best friend, 892 00:34:17,793 --> 00:34:20,762 and in a fury, beat the crap out of him. 893 00:34:20,763 --> 00:34:22,196 Wow. 894 00:34:22,197 --> 00:34:23,798 I was arrested for assault 895 00:34:23,799 --> 00:34:25,500 and spent 6 months in prison. 896 00:34:25,501 --> 00:34:27,068 It was during that time in jail 897 00:34:27,069 --> 00:34:28,569 that my fingers finally came unstuck. 898 00:34:28,570 --> 00:34:29,604 Oh. 899 00:34:29,605 --> 00:34:31,973 At least your fingers are normal again. 900 00:34:31,974 --> 00:34:34,776 Unfortunately, too late for me to defend myself 901 00:34:34,777 --> 00:34:35,977 against the nightly beatings 902 00:34:35,978 --> 00:34:38,078 I took from gang members. 903 00:34:38,946 --> 00:34:40,780 Bummer. 904 00:34:41,983 --> 00:34:44,719 Randy, I did a terrible thing to you, 905 00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,154 and for that, I'm sorry. 906 00:34:46,155 --> 00:34:48,890 But you have to understand, I had no idea 907 00:34:48,891 --> 00:34:50,658 what the ramifications would be. 908 00:34:50,659 --> 00:34:53,261 I can only assume you're here to fuck me up, right? 909 00:34:53,262 --> 00:34:57,430 Hmm. The thought actually never crossed my mind. 910 00:34:58,032 --> 00:35:00,001 Seriously? Really? 911 00:35:00,002 --> 00:35:01,335 Why are you here then? 912 00:35:01,336 --> 00:35:05,273 Dude, it's a stag. 913 00:35:05,274 --> 00:35:07,341 Just here to play some cards, 914 00:35:07,342 --> 00:35:09,776 have some beer, and relax. 915 00:35:12,847 --> 00:35:15,348 Great. 916 00:35:19,187 --> 00:35:20,555 I think. 917 00:35:20,556 --> 00:35:22,056 RORY: All right, lads, anti in! 918 00:35:22,057 --> 00:35:23,424 ♪ Here we go 919 00:35:23,425 --> 00:35:24,892 (PANTING) How the fuck do you fail 920 00:35:24,893 --> 00:35:26,294 at hitting on a stripper? 921 00:35:26,295 --> 00:35:27,562 Are you out of breath? 922 00:35:27,563 --> 00:35:30,031 Shut the fuck up and answer the question. 923 00:35:30,032 --> 00:35:32,166 I didn't fail. She's quite nice. 924 00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:34,402 Very good listener. I think I made a friend. 925 00:35:34,403 --> 00:35:36,137 A friend? She's a fucking stripper, Henry. 926 00:35:36,138 --> 00:35:37,538 You don't need a friend. 927 00:35:37,539 --> 00:35:39,407 You got a whole basement full of friends over there. 928 00:35:39,408 --> 00:35:41,409 What you need is someone to bang! 929 00:35:41,410 --> 00:35:43,277 What you need is to reach down 930 00:35:43,278 --> 00:35:45,313 and locate your testosterone 931 00:35:45,314 --> 00:35:46,647 and yank it the fuck up 932 00:35:46,648 --> 00:35:49,283 so that people might actually see that it exists! 933 00:35:49,284 --> 00:35:51,552 You're right. 934 00:35:51,553 --> 00:35:53,855 Something's gotta change, and it's gotta change now. 935 00:35:53,856 --> 00:35:54,856 Yeah. 936 00:35:54,857 --> 00:35:56,691 You know, I'm sick 937 00:35:56,692 --> 00:35:58,693 of the ladies loving me like a brother! 938 00:35:58,694 --> 00:36:00,962 Yeah! And if I can't score the snatch, 939 00:36:00,963 --> 00:36:04,065 then I'm gonna enter the world of manly men another way! 940 00:36:04,066 --> 00:36:05,933 That's it! That's my boy! 941 00:36:05,934 --> 00:36:07,135 Ugh! 942 00:36:07,136 --> 00:36:08,603 It's time to kick some ass! 943 00:36:08,604 --> 00:36:11,272 No. No, it's not. No, it's not. 944 00:36:11,273 --> 00:36:12,807 Paul? Outta my way, 945 00:36:12,808 --> 00:36:15,909 or your head's gonna be the first ass I kick. 946 00:36:18,212 --> 00:36:20,348 Okay. Here. 947 00:36:20,349 --> 00:36:21,616 Okay, go ahead. 948 00:36:21,617 --> 00:36:22,617 Hold these, 949 00:36:22,618 --> 00:36:26,187 'cause this might get ugly. 950 00:36:26,188 --> 00:36:27,754 Definitely. 951 00:36:28,856 --> 00:36:30,790 (STRAINING) 952 00:36:31,859 --> 00:36:34,494 (SNORING) 953 00:36:37,331 --> 00:36:39,499 (SNORING) 954 00:36:49,143 --> 00:36:50,710 What'd you say to me? 955 00:36:52,046 --> 00:36:53,580 Huh? 956 00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:56,551 Me? 957 00:36:56,552 --> 00:36:59,620 Yeah, you, troublemaker. 958 00:36:59,621 --> 00:37:02,824 You lookin' for some trouble? 959 00:37:02,825 --> 00:37:04,992 I don't think so. 960 00:37:04,993 --> 00:37:07,395 (SIGHS) 961 00:37:07,396 --> 00:37:08,763 On your feet, old man. 962 00:37:08,764 --> 00:37:11,199 It's time someone taught you a lesson, 963 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,767 you pathetic hobo. 964 00:37:12,768 --> 00:37:16,003 Who you callin' old? 965 00:37:16,004 --> 00:37:18,606 Ha ha! That's... ugh. 966 00:37:18,607 --> 00:37:20,007 God. 967 00:37:20,008 --> 00:37:23,244 I must warn you, I am twice your size and half your age, 968 00:37:23,245 --> 00:37:26,713 and though these fists have never touched the flesh of another man... 969 00:37:28,049 --> 00:37:29,717 Mmm! 970 00:37:29,718 --> 00:37:30,618 Rude! 971 00:37:30,619 --> 00:37:32,587 I was in the middle of talking! 972 00:37:32,588 --> 00:37:33,920 Aw! 973 00:37:35,656 --> 00:37:36,958 Aah! 974 00:37:36,959 --> 00:37:38,025 Hah! 975 00:37:38,026 --> 00:37:39,327 Aah! Burn! 976 00:37:39,328 --> 00:37:41,295 Aah! Ha ha ha! 977 00:37:41,296 --> 00:37:44,265 Come on! Let's go, bitch! 978 00:37:44,266 --> 00:37:46,367 Jesus. It's like giving spinach to Popeye. 979 00:37:46,368 --> 00:37:47,869 So how long were you dating? 980 00:37:47,870 --> 00:37:50,004 (HAMMER TAPPING) 981 00:37:50,005 --> 00:37:52,340 About eight months. 982 00:37:52,341 --> 00:37:53,875 That's not that long. 983 00:37:53,876 --> 00:37:55,343 Well, it was for me. 984 00:37:55,344 --> 00:37:59,113 Although, I wouldn't exactly call it dating. 985 00:37:59,114 --> 00:38:00,481 (DRILL WHIRRING) 986 00:38:00,482 --> 00:38:02,283 How do you mean? 987 00:38:02,284 --> 00:38:04,685 Well, I mean, we never really went out and did anything. 988 00:38:04,686 --> 00:38:06,420 It was pretty much, you know, just the things 989 00:38:06,421 --> 00:38:10,057 that the publicist would arrange. 990 00:38:10,058 --> 00:38:12,026 I don't understand. 991 00:38:12,027 --> 00:38:15,630 Oh. It happens all the time. It's like a thing. 992 00:38:15,631 --> 00:38:17,498 You know, the studio pays the publicist 993 00:38:17,499 --> 00:38:20,234 to get two celebrities to go out together, 994 00:38:20,235 --> 00:38:21,569 and then they tell 995 00:38:21,570 --> 00:38:22,837 the paparazzi where you're going. 996 00:38:22,838 --> 00:38:25,439 By the end of the night, I have flashbulbs 997 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:26,841 popping off in my face, 998 00:38:26,842 --> 00:38:30,077 and the studio has people talking about their movie. 999 00:38:30,078 --> 00:38:32,079 Hang on a sec. 1000 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,616 Let me put this in terms that I'll understand. 1001 00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:40,388 So a really rich guy... let's call him John... 1002 00:38:40,389 --> 00:38:45,493 pays another guy... let's call him pimp... 1003 00:38:45,494 --> 00:38:48,629 to take out a hot girl for a night. 1004 00:38:48,630 --> 00:38:51,065 Let's call her... Careful! 1005 00:38:51,066 --> 00:38:53,501 Let's call her you. 1006 00:38:53,502 --> 00:38:56,237 And in the end, guys are popping off in her face? 1007 00:38:56,238 --> 00:38:58,572 (DRILL WHIRRING) Ew! That's sick! 1008 00:38:58,573 --> 00:38:59,774 MAN: I've just about got it. 1009 00:38:59,775 --> 00:39:01,409 Just hang on, sweetheart. 1010 00:39:01,410 --> 00:39:02,677 We'll have you out of there in a minute. 1011 00:39:02,678 --> 00:39:04,078 MAN: Just about there. 1012 00:39:04,079 --> 00:39:05,678 Oh, crap. 1013 00:39:07,148 --> 00:39:09,383 Now or never, Carl, now or never. 1014 00:39:09,384 --> 00:39:11,319 Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Hmm? 1015 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,889 Listen, I know you're, like, this huge Hollywood megastar, 1016 00:39:14,890 --> 00:39:19,060 who was so good in Tiger Baiby the way. 1017 00:39:19,061 --> 00:39:23,030 And I'm at a point where I'm questioning my career choices, 1018 00:39:23,031 --> 00:39:26,000 if not my life choices. 1019 00:39:26,001 --> 00:39:27,535 Okay, I'm rambling. 1020 00:39:27,536 --> 00:39:29,770 I was wondering if you... Look, uh, Clark... 1021 00:39:29,771 --> 00:39:30,905 It's Carl. 1022 00:39:30,906 --> 00:39:32,907 You seem like a really sweet guy. I... 1023 00:39:32,908 --> 00:39:34,575 Just let me finish. 1024 00:39:34,576 --> 00:39:36,711 It's just that I'm single, 1025 00:39:36,712 --> 00:39:39,947 and I know that you are, too, 1026 00:39:39,948 --> 00:39:44,552 and, uh, in a weird way, we've already been 1027 00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:47,588 shacked up together for a few hours, right? 1028 00:39:47,589 --> 00:39:50,458 Well, that's true. I guess we survived. 1029 00:39:50,459 --> 00:39:53,260 Yes. We totally survived. 1030 00:39:53,261 --> 00:39:57,865 So maybe this is all meant to be. 1031 00:39:57,866 --> 00:40:01,369 Maybe we could be... meant to be. 1032 00:40:01,370 --> 00:40:02,536 (DRILL WHIRRING) 1033 00:40:02,537 --> 00:40:03,804 Maybe when I get out of the hospital... 1034 00:40:03,805 --> 00:40:06,273 Hospital? MAN: Got it! 1035 00:40:06,274 --> 00:40:08,075 Okay, I'm out of time. 1036 00:40:08,076 --> 00:40:09,776 Will you go out with me? 1037 00:40:11,245 --> 00:40:13,014 (DOOR CLATTERING) 1038 00:40:13,015 --> 00:40:16,716 (CAMERAS CLICKING, PHOTOGRAPHERS SHOUTING) 1039 00:40:17,685 --> 00:40:19,986 I'm sorry. I can't. 1040 00:40:22,556 --> 00:40:24,025 All right, here's a story for you guys. 1041 00:40:24,026 --> 00:40:26,594 These pictures you're taking will be the last ones 1042 00:40:26,595 --> 00:40:28,496 taken of Clark alive. 1043 00:40:28,497 --> 00:40:30,230 It's Carl. 1044 00:40:40,341 --> 00:40:43,276 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1045 00:40:46,814 --> 00:40:49,550 VERONICA: Take me to the basement. 1046 00:40:49,551 --> 00:40:51,519 I know this might seem sort of strange, 1047 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,889 but I actually don't have long to live, 1048 00:40:54,890 --> 00:40:57,725 and I've never been kissed... 1049 00:40:57,726 --> 00:40:58,926 ever. 1050 00:40:58,927 --> 00:41:02,128 Would it be too much to ask you to kiss me? 1051 00:41:08,469 --> 00:41:12,005 (MUSIC CRESCENDOS) 1052 00:41:13,941 --> 00:41:17,078 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 1053 00:41:17,079 --> 00:41:20,047 (LAUGHING) 1054 00:41:20,048 --> 00:41:21,348 (GROWLS) 1055 00:41:21,349 --> 00:41:22,950 You owe me a fucking shirt! 1056 00:41:22,951 --> 00:41:25,986 Whoo! Oh, my God! 1057 00:41:25,987 --> 00:41:28,255 That was awesome! 1058 00:41:28,256 --> 00:41:29,557 (DOG BARKING) 1059 00:41:29,558 --> 00:41:31,258 Weirdest fucking thing I ever saw. 1060 00:41:31,259 --> 00:41:34,295 I... I feel so alive, like I could do anything! 1061 00:41:34,296 --> 00:41:36,230 Know what? Me, too. 1062 00:41:36,231 --> 00:41:37,765 Look at this. Look at this. 1063 00:41:37,766 --> 00:41:38,999 Pure adrenaline, right? 1064 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,234 Fucking right. 1065 00:41:40,235 --> 00:41:42,336 Uhh! Ha ha! 1066 00:41:42,337 --> 00:41:45,405 I now know I love fighting! 1067 00:41:46,841 --> 00:41:48,976 Technically, Henry, I don't think that was fighting. 1068 00:41:48,977 --> 00:41:51,378 (PANTING) 1069 00:41:51,379 --> 00:41:53,614 (LAUGHING) Look here. Look at that. 1070 00:41:53,615 --> 00:41:55,416 Blood, huh? 1071 00:41:55,417 --> 00:41:56,984 It's barbeque sauce, Henry. 1072 00:41:56,985 --> 00:42:00,087 The fucking old man threw a fucking chicken wing at you. 1073 00:42:00,088 --> 00:42:01,388 But I took it! 1074 00:42:01,389 --> 00:42:02,590 I fucking took it! 1075 00:42:02,591 --> 00:42:04,191 And listen to my language! 1076 00:42:04,192 --> 00:42:06,994 I'm swearing like a fucking sailor, for fuck's sake! 1077 00:42:06,995 --> 00:42:07,995 Oh! 1078 00:42:07,996 --> 00:42:10,764 Ahh! 1079 00:42:10,765 --> 00:42:13,234 Not sure I'm buying it, Henry. 1080 00:42:13,235 --> 00:42:14,635 What are you talking about? 1081 00:42:14,636 --> 00:42:17,537 It's just not you. 1082 00:42:20,674 --> 00:42:23,611 You know what, Paul? 1083 00:42:23,612 --> 00:42:25,112 Fuck you. 1084 00:42:25,113 --> 00:42:26,547 Excuse me? 1085 00:42:26,548 --> 00:42:28,282 No, you heard me. 1086 00:42:28,283 --> 00:42:30,516 Fuck you, Paul. 1087 00:42:32,086 --> 00:42:34,054 Who died and made you king of the cool guys? 1088 00:42:34,055 --> 00:42:36,157 I'm not the king of anything, Henry. 1089 00:42:36,158 --> 00:42:37,391 I'm sick of it. 1090 00:42:37,392 --> 00:42:40,661 Seriously, you just walk around, 1091 00:42:40,662 --> 00:42:42,596 because you're so cool, 1092 00:42:42,597 --> 00:42:43,864 and nothing ever bothers you. 1093 00:42:43,865 --> 00:42:45,633 How do I walk around? 1094 00:42:45,634 --> 00:42:47,134 "Oh, what if I have a heart attack? Mm, uh. 1095 00:42:47,135 --> 00:42:48,402 Oh, what if I die?" 1096 00:42:48,403 --> 00:42:51,639 Well, what about you, eh, Mr... Mr. Sweet Guy? 1097 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,807 Mr. Understanding, Mr. Compassionate, 1098 00:42:53,808 --> 00:42:55,543 giving his fucking heart away all the time 1099 00:42:55,544 --> 00:42:57,411 and getting it broken and then come crying to me? 1100 00:42:57,412 --> 00:43:00,247 You're always there for your best friend in your tight jeans, 1101 00:43:00,248 --> 00:43:02,683 thinking everyone's checking out your ass. 1102 00:43:02,684 --> 00:43:03,851 Well, what do you want me to do? 1103 00:43:03,852 --> 00:43:05,152 You want me to be all tucked in 1104 00:43:05,153 --> 00:43:06,554 and presentable and perfect like you? 1105 00:43:06,555 --> 00:43:08,255 Maybe Luke was right about you. 1106 00:43:08,256 --> 00:43:10,391 What? 1107 00:43:10,392 --> 00:43:12,960 What does Luke say about me? 1108 00:43:12,961 --> 00:43:14,662 Nothing. 1109 00:43:14,663 --> 00:43:16,830 No, what... What did Luke say, Paul? 1110 00:43:16,831 --> 00:43:18,866 Didn't say nothin'. 1111 00:43:18,867 --> 00:43:20,133 Paul. 1112 00:43:22,836 --> 00:43:25,839 Luke was just sayin', 1113 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:30,477 you know, sometimes him and some of the guys 1114 00:43:30,478 --> 00:43:33,614 think that maybe. You might be... 1115 00:43:33,615 --> 00:43:35,883 What the fuck is the matter with you? 1116 00:43:35,884 --> 00:43:37,551 What the fuck is the matter with you?! 1117 00:43:37,552 --> 00:43:40,119 Huh? You... You can't... 1118 00:43:41,989 --> 00:43:43,257 Oh. 1119 00:43:43,258 --> 00:43:46,192 (LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC) 1120 00:43:51,899 --> 00:43:54,034 (SEMI HORN HONKS) 1121 00:43:54,035 --> 00:43:57,404 You know, it's a good thing nobody was thinking about 1122 00:43:57,405 --> 00:44:00,708 shaving my eyebrows off or something like that, 1123 00:44:00,709 --> 00:44:02,977 'cause that'd be fucked up. 1124 00:44:02,978 --> 00:44:06,180 You like the jeans? Mmm! 1125 00:44:06,181 --> 00:44:10,284 Really easy to get off. Really easy. 1126 00:44:10,285 --> 00:44:11,986 (WHISTLES) 1127 00:44:11,987 --> 00:44:13,654 I'd look weird. (LAUGHING) 1128 00:44:13,655 --> 00:44:15,422 All of this, none of this. 1129 00:44:15,423 --> 00:44:16,657 So if I'm drunk and passed out 1130 00:44:16,658 --> 00:44:19,727 at the end of the night, you know... 1131 00:44:19,728 --> 00:44:21,829 You put me in a gorilla suit 1132 00:44:21,830 --> 00:44:26,934 and drop me off at my office drunk and passed out. 1133 00:44:26,935 --> 00:44:30,571 Me with no eyebrows? Come on. 1134 00:44:30,572 --> 00:44:32,572 I have a gorilla suit. 1135 00:44:34,275 --> 00:44:35,542 Okay, continue. 1136 00:44:35,543 --> 00:44:37,910 Look, it's all I could find, all right? 1137 00:44:39,113 --> 00:44:41,415 It's called maca or something. 1138 00:44:41,416 --> 00:44:43,751 The guy at the market said it nourishes hormonal glands 1139 00:44:43,752 --> 00:44:45,552 and helps men with natural production 1140 00:44:45,553 --> 00:44:47,454 of testosterone hormones for energy, 1141 00:44:47,455 --> 00:44:48,555 libido, and sexual enhancement. 1142 00:44:48,556 --> 00:44:49,823 That's so complicated. 1143 00:44:49,824 --> 00:44:51,959 I just want to give Ken a boner. 1144 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,827 Boys. Good night, huh? 1145 00:44:53,828 --> 00:44:55,462 It's the way it should be. 1146 00:44:55,463 --> 00:44:57,231 No wife, no kids, just hanging out with the guys. 1147 00:44:57,232 --> 00:44:58,599 We need to get Ken to eat this. 1148 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,134 What is that? 1149 00:45:00,135 --> 00:45:01,635 No time for questions! Just get the waitress chick 1150 00:45:01,636 --> 00:45:03,003 to chop it into his nachos 1151 00:45:03,004 --> 00:45:04,405 or boil it into his drink or something. 1152 00:45:04,406 --> 00:45:06,273 Oh, okay, so you planned it out real well. Good. 1153 00:45:06,274 --> 00:45:07,374 Look, there she is. 1154 00:45:07,375 --> 00:45:08,942 She's talking to your stripper friend. 1155 00:45:08,943 --> 00:45:10,144 No, hey, she's not my friend. 1156 00:45:10,145 --> 00:45:11,645 Okay? I just picked her up. 1157 00:45:11,646 --> 00:45:12,880 I don't know about that. 1158 00:45:12,881 --> 00:45:14,048 You guys have been kind of chummy lately. 1159 00:45:14,049 --> 00:45:15,349 I think she's diggin' you. 1160 00:45:15,350 --> 00:45:16,383 No. Yeah? 1161 00:45:16,384 --> 00:45:17,351 No! No! 1162 00:45:17,352 --> 00:45:19,519 Oh, my God, no one cares. Just go. 1163 00:45:21,088 --> 00:45:21,889 Luke. 1164 00:45:21,890 --> 00:45:22,990 Hey, Mark. 1165 00:45:22,991 --> 00:45:24,958 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1166 00:45:24,959 --> 00:45:27,093 (CANDY AND PAM LAUGHING) 1167 00:45:29,463 --> 00:45:30,964 Hey, ladies. Hey. 1168 00:45:30,965 --> 00:45:31,932 Hey. 1169 00:45:31,933 --> 00:45:33,934 Hey, Uncle Luke, we were just talking 1170 00:45:33,935 --> 00:45:35,035 about how you know each other. 1171 00:45:35,036 --> 00:45:36,770 We don't know each other. 1172 00:45:36,771 --> 00:45:38,238 I mean, you know. 1173 00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,075 Uh... like how does anyone know anyone? 1174 00:45:41,076 --> 00:45:43,344 That kind of thing, you know what I mean? 1175 00:45:43,345 --> 00:45:44,945 I know I need a drink. 1176 00:45:44,946 --> 00:45:47,281 Yeah. Cranberry juice would be good. 1177 00:45:47,282 --> 00:45:50,484 'Cause I'm driving, so time to switch. 1178 00:45:50,485 --> 00:45:52,486 I'm very responsible, okay? 1179 00:45:52,487 --> 00:45:53,487 Responsible and moral. 1180 00:45:53,488 --> 00:45:54,888 Yeah. 1181 00:45:54,889 --> 00:45:57,224 Can you also chop that up, put it in a drink, 1182 00:45:57,225 --> 00:45:59,293 and, uh, serve it to that guy? 1183 00:45:59,294 --> 00:46:00,794 I don't know I could get in trouble. 1184 00:46:00,795 --> 00:46:02,730 Don't do it then. I don't care. 1185 00:46:02,731 --> 00:46:04,098 Cranberry. 1186 00:46:04,099 --> 00:46:07,267 Uh, what... Was that maca? 1187 00:46:07,268 --> 00:46:08,802 I don't know. 1188 00:46:08,803 --> 00:46:11,238 No idea. 1189 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,740 (SIGHS) 1190 00:46:12,741 --> 00:46:15,042 Well, I should, uh, probably go 1191 00:46:15,043 --> 00:46:17,945 and slip into this outfit. 1192 00:46:17,946 --> 00:46:21,281 Unless, um, of course, you wanted to help me with it. 1193 00:46:21,282 --> 00:46:22,616 (COUGHS) 1194 00:46:22,617 --> 00:46:24,318 Uh... (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) 1195 00:46:24,319 --> 00:46:25,352 I can't. Come on. 1196 00:46:25,353 --> 00:46:26,987 I mean, you can do it on your own. 1197 00:46:26,988 --> 00:46:29,656 I don't think I... Hey, uh, you got a second? 1198 00:46:29,657 --> 00:46:30,758 Yes, I do. 1199 00:46:30,759 --> 00:46:32,025 Yeah, for sure. What's up? 1200 00:46:32,026 --> 00:46:33,260 I need to talk to you in the bathroom. 1201 00:46:33,261 --> 00:46:36,196 Perfect, even better. Okay. See ya. 1202 00:46:36,197 --> 00:46:37,498 Wow. 1203 00:46:37,499 --> 00:46:38,766 (GIGGLES) 1204 00:46:38,767 --> 00:46:39,867 Love that guy. 1205 00:46:39,868 --> 00:46:41,334 Please. 1206 00:46:44,004 --> 00:46:45,706 What's goin' on, guys? 1207 00:46:45,707 --> 00:46:46,974 Did you do it? 1208 00:46:46,975 --> 00:46:48,342 She gonna put the thing in his thing? 1209 00:46:48,343 --> 00:46:50,644 I begged her, but I don't know if she will. 1210 00:46:50,645 --> 00:46:52,513 What the fuck, Luke? There's no margin for error here! 1211 00:46:52,514 --> 00:46:53,881 Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta... 1212 00:46:53,882 --> 00:46:55,749 I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. 1213 00:46:55,750 --> 00:46:57,484 I really appreciate it, 1214 00:46:57,485 --> 00:46:59,620 uh, but the purpose of a stag is... 1215 00:46:59,621 --> 00:47:00,888 HENRY: Ooh! Ooh! 1216 00:47:00,889 --> 00:47:02,623 PAUL: Shut the fuck up, Henry! 1217 00:47:02,624 --> 00:47:04,024 I'm going! 1218 00:47:04,025 --> 00:47:05,626 You're the dickhead who got us kicked out 1219 00:47:05,627 --> 00:47:06,693 in the first place! 1220 00:47:06,694 --> 00:47:08,629 (THUD) 1221 00:47:08,630 --> 00:47:10,464 HENRY: This is exciting! 1222 00:47:10,465 --> 00:47:12,166 I feel like Spider-man! 1223 00:47:12,167 --> 00:47:13,834 Yes! Or Tom Cruise! 1224 00:47:13,835 --> 00:47:15,002 PAUL: Okay, careful, careful. 1225 00:47:15,003 --> 00:47:16,770 I gotcha. I gotcha. I gotcha. 1226 00:47:16,771 --> 00:47:18,505 Watch your back, watch your back, watch your back! 1227 00:47:18,506 --> 00:47:19,640 (GIGGLING) 1228 00:47:19,641 --> 00:47:20,808 Step, step! 1229 00:47:20,809 --> 00:47:22,409 Okay, okay, okay. 1230 00:47:22,410 --> 00:47:24,278 (LAUGHS) 1231 00:47:24,279 --> 00:47:25,512 PAUL: Oh, fuck! (CLOSES WINDOW) 1232 00:47:25,513 --> 00:47:26,914 HENRY: That close. 1233 00:47:26,915 --> 00:47:28,816 Hey! What's with the fucking sausage party 1234 00:47:28,817 --> 00:47:30,050 in the bathroom? 1235 00:47:30,051 --> 00:47:31,452 Yeah, where's that stripper action? 1236 00:47:31,453 --> 00:47:32,920 Let's get this fucking party started, eh? 1237 00:47:32,921 --> 00:47:34,922 Yeah, and play some poker and football. 1238 00:47:34,923 --> 00:47:36,490 Who wants to arm wrestle me! 1239 00:47:36,491 --> 00:47:37,591 Yeah, yeah! Huh? 1240 00:47:37,592 --> 00:47:39,026 Really, where's that stripper? 1241 00:47:39,027 --> 00:47:40,928 Huh? Let's see some fucking pussy, fellas! 1242 00:47:40,929 --> 00:47:42,162 Indeed! Let's see 1243 00:47:42,163 --> 00:47:44,031 some fucking fellas, pussy! What? 1244 00:47:44,032 --> 00:47:46,133 HENRY: What? PAUL: You said, "Let's see some fellas." 1245 00:47:46,134 --> 00:47:47,801 No. Yes, you did. 1246 00:47:47,802 --> 00:47:49,770 Really? That's... 1247 00:47:49,771 --> 00:47:51,371 That's the last thing we need. 1248 00:47:51,372 --> 00:47:52,606 PAUL: Yeah! 1249 00:47:52,607 --> 00:47:55,275 'Cause nobody here is into dudes, right? 1250 00:47:55,276 --> 00:47:57,778 Not us! That'd be funny! 1251 00:47:57,779 --> 00:47:59,847 (LAUGHING) 1252 00:47:59,848 --> 00:48:01,949 All right, shut the fuck up and listen! 1253 00:48:01,950 --> 00:48:04,585 For 10 years, 1254 00:48:04,586 --> 00:48:07,921 we've seen a bunch of our friends get married 1255 00:48:07,922 --> 00:48:10,224 and say good-bye to their freedom. 1256 00:48:10,225 --> 00:48:11,191 Right? 1257 00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:13,126 And all of them have had a stag. 1258 00:48:13,127 --> 00:48:14,661 A great stag. 1259 00:48:14,662 --> 00:48:17,731 And part of the reason why the stag was so awesome 1260 00:48:17,732 --> 00:48:21,034 was because I came up with some clever-slash-fun prank 1261 00:48:21,035 --> 00:48:23,170 to pull on the groom-to-be. True? 1262 00:48:23,171 --> 00:48:24,738 Yeah, it's true. Correct. 1263 00:48:24,739 --> 00:48:25,739 You're the King, Kenny! 1264 00:48:25,740 --> 00:48:26,974 Gotta concede that. 1265 00:48:26,975 --> 00:48:30,344 Now it's my turn, okay? 1266 00:48:30,345 --> 00:48:33,881 It's my turn to say good-bye to my freedom 1267 00:48:33,882 --> 00:48:35,916 and life as I know it. 1268 00:48:35,917 --> 00:48:38,252 And I've been freaking out 1269 00:48:38,253 --> 00:48:40,053 pretty much all day long 1270 00:48:40,054 --> 00:48:43,190 wondering what you guys were gonna do to kick my ass. 1271 00:48:43,191 --> 00:48:44,758 And the guy that I had counted on 1272 00:48:44,759 --> 00:48:48,061 to show up and watch my back? 1273 00:48:48,062 --> 00:48:49,762 He didn't show. 1274 00:48:50,998 --> 00:48:53,467 And now I have the distinct impression 1275 00:48:53,468 --> 00:48:57,236 that you guys have nothing planned for me. 1276 00:48:59,273 --> 00:49:00,140 Nothing. 1277 00:49:00,141 --> 00:49:03,143 Not so fast, asshole! 1278 00:49:03,144 --> 00:49:05,778 I actually do have some payback planned. 1279 00:49:06,713 --> 00:49:07,881 I think. 1280 00:49:07,882 --> 00:49:11,118 Or I did have some... I did have some. 1281 00:49:11,119 --> 00:49:13,921 Yeah, yeah, we did, but you know what? 1282 00:49:13,922 --> 00:49:15,689 Ran into a snag or two. Wasn't me. 1283 00:49:15,690 --> 00:49:16,990 Why? 1284 00:49:16,991 --> 00:49:18,926 Well, I mean, you know, not the easiest thing. 1285 00:49:18,927 --> 00:49:20,327 I mean, you know, there's, you know, 1286 00:49:20,328 --> 00:49:22,462 a couple problems, different stages to the... 1287 00:49:22,463 --> 00:49:26,066 PAUL: Some things just kinda got in the way. 1288 00:49:26,067 --> 00:49:27,834 It actually seemed kind of mean. 1289 00:49:27,835 --> 00:49:29,636 It's supposed to be mean! 1290 00:49:29,637 --> 00:49:31,438 What was the plan? 1291 00:49:31,439 --> 00:49:32,806 Oh, it was gonna be amazing. 1292 00:49:32,807 --> 00:49:34,174 Okay, so first we were gonna get you drunk, 1293 00:49:34,175 --> 00:49:35,809 and then when you passed out... 1294 00:49:35,810 --> 00:49:38,045 Okay, I know how it starts. Let's get to how it ends. 1295 00:49:38,046 --> 00:49:41,548 Well, then we were gonna take your pants off. 1296 00:49:41,549 --> 00:49:43,951 And give you a boner! 1297 00:49:43,952 --> 00:49:45,886 I wasn't gonna give you the boner. 1298 00:49:45,887 --> 00:49:47,888 No, no, no, no, no! I didn't think... 1299 00:49:47,889 --> 00:49:49,556 Stripper would give you the boner. 1300 00:49:49,557 --> 00:49:50,657 I hate boners. 1301 00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:51,925 Well, wait a minute. 1302 00:49:51,926 --> 00:49:53,160 I thought we were gonna give him Viagra. 1303 00:49:53,161 --> 00:49:54,294 RORY: I couldn't get Viagra. 1304 00:49:54,295 --> 00:49:55,629 My mom keeps it locked up. 1305 00:49:55,630 --> 00:49:56,897 Your mom has Viagra? 1306 00:49:56,898 --> 00:49:57,931 Your mom has a penis? 1307 00:49:57,932 --> 00:49:59,199 No! Pfft! 1308 00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:00,801 My mom's boyfriend has a penis. 1309 00:50:00,802 --> 00:50:02,035 Your mom has a boyfriend? 1310 00:50:02,036 --> 00:50:04,071 Guys can we please fucking focus? 1311 00:50:04,072 --> 00:50:05,939 Okay, so once you had a boner, 1312 00:50:05,940 --> 00:50:08,141 we were gonna get the stripper to write on it in indelible ink, 1313 00:50:08,142 --> 00:50:10,611 "Candy was here." 1314 00:50:10,612 --> 00:50:12,613 And then when, you know, it was all small and soft, 1315 00:50:12,614 --> 00:50:14,648 it would just look like a little smudge. 1316 00:50:14,649 --> 00:50:15,716 Or a freckle. 1317 00:50:15,717 --> 00:50:17,150 PAUL: And then when you and Caroline 1318 00:50:17,151 --> 00:50:19,886 started to, you know, fool around. 1319 00:50:19,887 --> 00:50:21,388 Right? 1320 00:50:21,389 --> 00:50:24,491 Yeah, so then when it was all big and engorged, 1321 00:50:24,492 --> 00:50:26,693 then she'd be able to just clearly read it. 1322 00:50:26,694 --> 00:50:28,695 Yeah, I get it. 1323 00:50:28,696 --> 00:50:30,063 Guys, that's not half bad. 1324 00:50:30,064 --> 00:50:31,298 Why aren't we doing this? 1325 00:50:31,299 --> 00:50:33,834 Uh, who says we're not? 1326 00:50:33,835 --> 00:50:35,469 Well, no boner pills. 1327 00:50:35,470 --> 00:50:38,038 And also Candy said she wouldn't do it. 1328 00:50:38,039 --> 00:50:39,206 I talked to her. 1329 00:50:39,207 --> 00:50:42,676 Guys, wait! (PANTING) Stop! 1330 00:50:42,677 --> 00:50:44,211 We can't do it. 1331 00:50:44,212 --> 00:50:46,146 Can't. 'Cause... 1332 00:50:46,147 --> 00:50:49,950 I Googled the effects of indelible ink on the penis, 1333 00:50:49,951 --> 00:50:51,451 and it is not pretty. 1334 00:50:51,452 --> 00:50:53,854 Carl, you can relax. We're not doing it. 1335 00:50:53,855 --> 00:50:57,224 Okay. I just ran 12 blocks. 1336 00:50:57,225 --> 00:50:59,359 Eh, it's probably for the best. 1337 00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,762 I mean, that Caroline, she is a sweet lady, 1338 00:51:01,763 --> 00:51:03,497 and she'd get pretty upset. 1339 00:51:03,498 --> 00:51:06,566 PAUL: Yeah, and, you know, we'd have to get you drunk, 1340 00:51:06,567 --> 00:51:08,935 and that usually costs a lot of money, 1341 00:51:08,936 --> 00:51:10,537 and I'm kinda tight these days, Ken. 1342 00:51:10,538 --> 00:51:12,305 You know what? I mean, it wouldn't happen 1343 00:51:12,306 --> 00:51:14,741 till later on tonight, and I've had a long day. 1344 00:51:14,742 --> 00:51:16,343 I've gotta get going soon. 1345 00:51:16,344 --> 00:51:19,379 KEN: No, I get it guys. Don't even worry about it. 1346 00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:22,315 I mean, if you're too busy to disrespect me the way 1347 00:51:22,316 --> 00:51:25,118 I've disrespected you in the past, that's fine. 1348 00:51:25,119 --> 00:51:28,021 I'll just, uh... 1349 00:51:28,022 --> 00:51:29,322 say good-bye to my independence 1350 00:51:29,323 --> 00:51:32,959 over a couple of uneventful beers 1351 00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,295 and a boring cab ride home. 1352 00:51:35,296 --> 00:51:38,699 Okay. So we're cool then? 1353 00:51:38,700 --> 00:51:39,999 Thanks, man. 1354 00:51:41,535 --> 00:51:45,072 RORY: It's ain't over until it's over, Ken! 1355 00:51:45,073 --> 00:51:48,208 It ain't over until... Okay, guys wait up. 1356 00:51:48,209 --> 00:51:51,044 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1357 00:51:51,045 --> 00:51:52,945 Paul, wait up. 1358 00:51:55,048 --> 00:51:56,817 Hey, can I see you in the bathroom for a second? 1359 00:51:56,818 --> 00:51:58,517 I... Oh, come on. 1360 00:52:02,189 --> 00:52:05,592 (MEN CHEERING) 1361 00:52:05,593 --> 00:52:06,727 Okay. 1362 00:52:06,728 --> 00:52:08,395 I'm gonna be honest. I am not comfortable 1363 00:52:08,396 --> 00:52:10,497 helping you or watching you get changed, so... 1364 00:52:10,498 --> 00:52:12,065 You know, I've been watching you all night, Luke. 1365 00:52:12,066 --> 00:52:14,267 (STAMMERING) Uh, I-I-I am a... 1366 00:52:14,268 --> 00:52:15,702 I'm a married happily man, so... 1367 00:52:15,703 --> 00:52:16,803 I mean, I'm a... 1368 00:52:16,804 --> 00:52:18,038 I'm a married happily man. 1369 00:52:18,039 --> 00:52:20,540 And yet you're in the ladies room 1370 00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:25,178 with a stripper who's about to get undressed. 1371 00:52:25,179 --> 00:52:27,280 That's why I'm leaving. 1372 00:52:27,281 --> 00:52:30,383 Oh, so you don't find me attractive? 1373 00:52:30,384 --> 00:52:33,453 No. What? Yeah, yeah, I just... 1374 00:52:33,454 --> 00:52:35,322 Why are you here? In the bathroom? 1375 00:52:35,323 --> 00:52:37,390 No, the stag. 1376 00:52:37,391 --> 00:52:39,326 Why am I at the stag? Yeah. 1377 00:52:39,327 --> 00:52:40,527 'Cause it's a stag! 1378 00:52:40,528 --> 00:52:42,095 Hang out with the boys, right? 1379 00:52:42,096 --> 00:52:43,230 Get rid of stress from the job, 1380 00:52:43,231 --> 00:52:44,831 the stupid fucking job. 1381 00:52:44,832 --> 00:52:46,299 The toilet job? 1382 00:52:46,300 --> 00:52:48,001 Yes, the toilet job, yeah, 1383 00:52:48,002 --> 00:52:50,103 where every day, I deal with rejection after rejection, 1384 00:52:50,104 --> 00:52:53,406 and then I go home to a stack of bills and a messy house 1385 00:52:53,407 --> 00:52:55,275 and a kid who... who I love. 1386 00:52:55,276 --> 00:52:57,077 I love her. Love my daughter so much. 1387 00:52:57,078 --> 00:52:58,945 She's my princess, but she doesn't shut the fuck up! 1388 00:52:58,946 --> 00:53:01,348 And now we got another one on the way? 1389 00:53:01,349 --> 00:53:03,150 You know, all I want once in a while 1390 00:53:03,151 --> 00:53:06,119 is a little intimacy with my wife. That's it. 1391 00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:07,254 But she's not in the mood. 1392 00:53:07,255 --> 00:53:08,455 She's never in the mood! 1393 00:53:08,456 --> 00:53:09,556 So I go down to the TV room, 1394 00:53:09,557 --> 00:53:11,258 and I zone out till I fall asleep, 1395 00:53:11,259 --> 00:53:12,893 and then I wake up, 1396 00:53:12,894 --> 00:53:15,195 and I do the whole fucking thing all over again. 1397 00:53:15,196 --> 00:53:17,197 That's why I'm at the stag. 1398 00:53:17,198 --> 00:53:20,901 And you thought committing adultery would... 1399 00:53:20,902 --> 00:53:22,269 What? Make that better? 1400 00:53:22,270 --> 00:53:24,371 No. I would never cheat on my wife, okay? 1401 00:53:24,372 --> 00:53:25,739 I never have, I never will. 1402 00:53:25,740 --> 00:53:28,341 Well, then why the offer to help me get changed? 1403 00:53:28,342 --> 00:53:30,110 You asked me to come in. 1404 00:53:30,111 --> 00:53:31,645 Ugh! Jesus, Luke, you know what? 1405 00:53:31,646 --> 00:53:33,713 You are really screwing things up here! 1406 00:53:33,714 --> 00:53:34,714 What? 1407 00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:35,615 Yeah. Okay, look, 1408 00:53:35,616 --> 00:53:37,050 I have a confession to make. 1409 00:53:37,051 --> 00:53:38,285 Please. 1410 00:53:38,286 --> 00:53:40,554 I'm not just a stripper. 1411 00:53:40,555 --> 00:53:42,556 Oh, my God, you're a hooker! 1412 00:53:42,557 --> 00:53:44,691 A hooker? 1413 00:53:44,692 --> 00:53:47,327 Do I look like a hooker to you, Luke? 1414 00:53:47,328 --> 00:53:48,662 You... (SIGHS) 1415 00:53:48,663 --> 00:53:50,397 I don't know how to answer that. 1416 00:53:50,398 --> 00:53:51,765 I'm a blogger, Luke, okay? 1417 00:53:51,766 --> 00:53:53,099 I write a blog. 1418 00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:57,037 You've been writing about us on the internet? 1419 00:53:57,038 --> 00:53:58,271 My "Manopause" followers 1420 00:53:58,272 --> 00:53:59,606 are gonna have a tough time with you. 1421 00:53:59,607 --> 00:54:01,441 Okay, what is "Manopause?" 1422 00:54:01,442 --> 00:54:04,845 Manopause... it's a term I use for male menopause. 1423 00:54:04,846 --> 00:54:07,280 Guys like you that are going through a midlife crisis. 1424 00:54:07,281 --> 00:54:09,816 Guys like me? You don't even know me. 1425 00:54:09,817 --> 00:54:11,551 I'm not going through a midlife crisis. 1426 00:54:11,552 --> 00:54:14,554 Well, you're a middle-aged man 1427 00:54:14,555 --> 00:54:17,357 who may very well be one of the oldest guys at this party... 1428 00:54:17,358 --> 00:54:18,925 (SCOFFS) What? 1429 00:54:18,926 --> 00:54:20,827 And you've got a wife at home that you love so much 1430 00:54:20,828 --> 00:54:22,529 you're willing to give up any career dreams 1431 00:54:22,530 --> 00:54:24,598 that you may have in order to provide her 1432 00:54:24,599 --> 00:54:26,700 with some sense of security. 1433 00:54:26,701 --> 00:54:29,669 And despite the fact that you are riddled with guilt, 1434 00:54:29,670 --> 00:54:31,905 you lied to her so you could abandon the weight 1435 00:54:31,906 --> 00:54:34,174 of your responsibilities and spend a few hours 1436 00:54:34,175 --> 00:54:35,542 with your male friends 1437 00:54:35,543 --> 00:54:37,611 reliving what you see as happier days gone by 1438 00:54:37,612 --> 00:54:40,313 and a chance to see a young woman partially naked. 1439 00:54:40,314 --> 00:54:42,315 Odds are you're questioning your life choices, 1440 00:54:42,316 --> 00:54:46,920 and there's a 42% chance that you are or will 1441 00:54:46,921 --> 00:54:48,987 consider a divorce. 1442 00:54:49,823 --> 00:54:51,858 Wow. Yeah. 1443 00:54:51,859 --> 00:54:54,059 So you're only getting partially naked. 1444 00:54:55,028 --> 00:54:57,297 Hey, gentlemen, grab a chair! 1445 00:54:57,298 --> 00:54:58,565 Hey, I'm Randy. 1446 00:54:58,566 --> 00:55:00,066 Carl. RORY: Hey, Ken, 1447 00:55:00,067 --> 00:55:01,301 your beer's looking a little empty there. 1448 00:55:01,302 --> 00:55:02,302 You need a re-up? 1449 00:55:02,303 --> 00:55:03,503 No, I'm good, man. 1450 00:55:03,504 --> 00:55:04,905 Look, Randy, Ken's beer's empty. 1451 00:55:04,906 --> 00:55:07,607 I'm gonna grab him a nice, fresh mug o' beer. 1452 00:55:07,608 --> 00:55:09,376 So, Carl, what do you do? 1453 00:55:09,377 --> 00:55:11,745 I do background work. 1454 00:55:11,746 --> 00:55:14,347 You ever rubbed elbows with any celebrities? 1455 00:55:14,348 --> 00:55:17,150 I did technically rub elbows with Sean Penn once 1456 00:55:17,151 --> 00:55:18,351 in a rugby scrum. 1457 00:55:18,352 --> 00:55:19,552 Hey, I think I saw that movie. 1458 00:55:19,553 --> 00:55:21,154 Um, what was it called again? 1459 00:55:21,155 --> 00:55:22,656 Scrum of the Earth? 1460 00:55:22,657 --> 00:55:24,157 Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. 1461 00:55:24,158 --> 00:55:25,458 This is fun. 1462 00:55:25,459 --> 00:55:26,826 PAUL: Yeah! 1463 00:55:26,827 --> 00:55:30,028 Let's play some fucking man poker! 1464 00:55:32,565 --> 00:55:35,535 Okay, here we go, boys. 1465 00:55:35,536 --> 00:55:37,437 Uh-uh-uh-uh! 1466 00:55:37,438 --> 00:55:39,806 Beer! Yeah! 1467 00:55:39,807 --> 00:55:41,641 RANDY: I loved Scrum of the Earth. 1468 00:55:41,642 --> 00:55:43,209 It's cool you were in that. 1469 00:55:43,210 --> 00:55:44,711 In it? He had, like, 1470 00:55:44,712 --> 00:55:47,280 Sean's Penn's nut sack just inches from his face. 1471 00:55:47,281 --> 00:55:48,415 Could somebody please deal? 1472 00:55:48,416 --> 00:55:50,116 Wasn't his nut sack. 1473 00:55:50,117 --> 00:55:52,152 It was his character's nut sack. 1474 00:55:52,153 --> 00:55:54,120 Oh, that's still awesome. 1475 00:55:54,121 --> 00:55:55,422 I guess. 1476 00:55:55,423 --> 00:55:56,690 KEN: Hey, Ken, how was your stag? 1477 00:55:56,691 --> 00:55:58,591 My stag? 1478 00:55:58,592 --> 00:56:00,393 It was fucking amazing. 1479 00:56:00,394 --> 00:56:02,362 We sat around a poker table all night 1480 00:56:02,363 --> 00:56:04,297 and talked about Sean Penn's penis. 1481 00:56:04,298 --> 00:56:05,964 So what was it like? 1482 00:56:08,735 --> 00:56:10,704 Soft and warm, I guess. 1483 00:56:10,705 --> 00:56:12,772 RANDY: No, no, not his... not his nut sack. 1484 00:56:12,773 --> 00:56:14,774 What was it like working with Sean Penn? 1485 00:56:14,775 --> 00:56:17,177 Oh. I don't know, we... 1486 00:56:17,178 --> 00:56:18,545 kept our distance, I guess. 1487 00:56:18,546 --> 00:56:19,980 RANDY: Oh, yeah, professional courtesy. 1488 00:56:19,981 --> 00:56:22,182 You guys can't be gawking over each other 1489 00:56:22,183 --> 00:56:24,351 like regular folk, huh? 1490 00:56:24,352 --> 00:56:26,419 No, that wouldn't be cool. 1491 00:56:26,420 --> 00:56:28,187 I can't believe what I'm looking at. 1492 00:56:30,623 --> 00:56:31,624 Wow. 1493 00:56:31,625 --> 00:56:32,492 Huh. 1494 00:56:32,493 --> 00:56:35,195 But you know what, Candy, 1495 00:56:35,196 --> 00:56:36,663 this doesn't all sound like me. 1496 00:56:36,664 --> 00:56:38,631 Read farther down. 1497 00:56:38,632 --> 00:56:40,934 "Characteristics of a mid-life crisis include 1498 00:56:40,935 --> 00:56:43,737 the deep sense of remorse for missed opportunities." 1499 00:56:43,738 --> 00:56:44,938 Check. 1500 00:56:44,939 --> 00:56:48,208 "The desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness." 1501 00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:50,510 Check. 1502 00:56:50,511 --> 00:56:53,413 "The search of an undefined dream or goal." 1503 00:56:53,414 --> 00:56:56,349 Well, how am I supposed to know what that is? 1504 00:56:56,350 --> 00:56:58,651 That's what undefined means. 1505 00:56:58,652 --> 00:57:00,787 Look, don't drive yourself nuts over this, okay? 1506 00:57:00,788 --> 00:57:03,121 I was just making an observation. 1507 00:57:05,825 --> 00:57:08,528 All right, you know what guys? I fold. 1508 00:57:08,529 --> 00:57:10,263 The stag party has officially began! 1509 00:57:10,264 --> 00:57:11,398 The stripper's here! 1510 00:57:11,399 --> 00:57:13,865 Time to get titties on the forehead! 1511 00:57:15,835 --> 00:57:19,873 I did background work on Titties On My Forehead 1512 00:57:19,874 --> 00:57:21,875 with Ice-T. 1513 00:57:21,876 --> 00:57:23,977 So, Carl, what was Veronica Simpson like? 1514 00:57:23,978 --> 00:57:25,812 Mmm, yeah! CARL: She was, uh... 1515 00:57:25,813 --> 00:57:28,648 She was nice, actually. 1516 00:57:28,649 --> 00:57:31,951 Okay, great, but what was she like? 1517 00:57:31,952 --> 00:57:33,620 I mean, was she smoking hot, or...? 1518 00:57:33,621 --> 00:57:35,555 Yeah, she's, um... 1519 00:57:35,556 --> 00:57:36,556 She's really pretty. 1520 00:57:36,557 --> 00:57:37,857 (PAUL LAUGHING) 1521 00:57:37,858 --> 00:57:39,192 And, uh... 1522 00:57:39,193 --> 00:57:40,894 nice. Least, she seems nice. 1523 00:57:40,895 --> 00:57:42,962 That's nice. That's good to hear. 1524 00:57:42,963 --> 00:57:45,031 Nice? Like she'd give you the time of day. 1525 00:57:45,032 --> 00:57:47,934 (LAUGHTER) 1526 00:57:47,935 --> 00:57:49,335 She was great in Tiger Bait. 1527 00:57:49,336 --> 00:57:50,603 She's got a great ass, though. 1528 00:57:50,604 --> 00:57:51,704 Oh, she really does! 1529 00:57:51,705 --> 00:57:53,006 I would tap that in a heartbeat. 1530 00:57:53,007 --> 00:57:54,674 Okay, guys, that's not really... 1531 00:57:54,675 --> 00:57:56,810 I bet she'd be a pretty good fucking lay. 1532 00:57:56,811 --> 00:57:58,611 Yeah, for sure, she would be. 1533 00:57:58,612 --> 00:58:00,280 Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I'd... 1534 00:58:00,281 --> 00:58:01,881 I, for one, would love to, 1535 00:58:01,882 --> 00:58:04,751 you know, really lay... lay her. 1536 00:58:04,752 --> 00:58:06,953 She's an actor. How do you know she's not faking it? 1537 00:58:06,954 --> 00:58:08,388 She wouldn't be faking it with me. 1538 00:58:08,389 --> 00:58:10,390 (LAUGHING) 1539 00:58:10,391 --> 00:58:12,358 Yeah, me, too. 1540 00:58:12,359 --> 00:58:13,560 Okay, guys, come on. 1541 00:58:13,561 --> 00:58:14,694 But she's an actor, right? 1542 00:58:14,695 --> 00:58:16,029 Yeah. Yeah, sometimes 1543 00:58:16,030 --> 00:58:17,363 they're just show and no substance. 1544 00:58:17,364 --> 00:58:18,565 Hey, that's not necessarily... 1545 00:58:18,566 --> 00:58:19,999 Still, she's got a great ass. 1546 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,000 Great rack, too. 1547 00:58:21,001 --> 00:58:22,836 Oh, that's it! We get Ken implants! 1548 00:58:22,837 --> 00:58:23,770 Enough! 1549 00:58:23,771 --> 00:58:25,438 Let's just play poker, okay? 1550 00:58:25,439 --> 00:58:27,907 You're all talking smack about a person you never even met. 1551 00:58:27,908 --> 00:58:30,910 So let's forget about Veronica Simpson 1552 00:58:30,911 --> 00:58:32,545 and just play mindless poker 1553 00:58:32,546 --> 00:58:35,248 with mindless friends, all right? 1554 00:58:35,249 --> 00:58:36,816 Okay, Carl. 1555 00:58:36,817 --> 00:58:37,617 Sorry. 1556 00:58:37,618 --> 00:58:38,718 RANDY: Sorry, Carl. 1557 00:58:38,719 --> 00:58:39,719 Mr. Cranky over here. 1558 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,321 You having a rough day? 1559 00:58:41,322 --> 00:58:44,023 You have no idea. 1560 00:58:44,024 --> 00:58:45,058 Whoa, whoa, hey. 1561 00:58:45,059 --> 00:58:46,759 You're not playing again, are you? 1562 00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:49,195 Yeah, why the fuck not? 1563 00:58:49,196 --> 00:58:51,231 Trying to help you look after your money, that's all. 1564 00:58:51,232 --> 00:58:52,665 That's all right. 1565 00:58:52,666 --> 00:58:54,100 I mean, it's okay for you to play, 1566 00:58:54,101 --> 00:58:55,702 it's just you need to know your limit. 1567 00:58:55,703 --> 00:58:57,170 You're right, I know. You're right. 1568 00:58:57,171 --> 00:58:58,371 Okay. I'm proud of you. 1569 00:58:58,372 --> 00:59:00,974 PAUL: How much do you think I should spend? 1570 00:59:00,975 --> 00:59:02,842 Well, I don't know I mean, 1571 00:59:02,843 --> 00:59:05,111 are you comfortable with, say, $10? 1572 00:59:05,112 --> 00:59:06,846 $10 is good, yeah. 1573 00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:08,848 Let's just have a look and see how much you got left. 1574 00:59:08,849 --> 00:59:10,216 What the fuck is wrong with you two? 1575 00:59:10,217 --> 00:59:12,085 BOTH: What the fuck is wrong with you? 1576 00:59:12,086 --> 00:59:13,153 Play the fucking game! 1577 00:59:13,154 --> 00:59:14,787 Shut up! No, you're the fucking homo! 1578 00:59:14,788 --> 00:59:15,889 Oh, you're so gay! 1579 00:59:15,890 --> 00:59:17,457 You're totally gay! 1580 00:59:17,458 --> 00:59:20,527 Can we play more than one round of fucking poker here? 1581 00:59:20,528 --> 00:59:24,830 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 1582 00:59:31,371 --> 00:59:34,306 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 1583 00:59:35,608 --> 00:59:38,577 (RINGS) 1584 00:59:39,379 --> 00:59:43,048 (RINGS) 1585 00:59:44,384 --> 00:59:46,319 (RINGS) 1586 00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:47,353 Hello? 1587 00:59:47,354 --> 00:59:48,588 Hi, Daddy! 1588 00:59:48,589 --> 00:59:50,723 Isabelle. Hi, sweetie, how are you? 1589 00:59:50,724 --> 00:59:52,625 Good. Hey, Daddy, guess what? 1590 00:59:52,626 --> 00:59:53,960 What? 1591 00:59:53,961 --> 00:59:56,162 I did a perfect cartwheel at gymnastics tonight! 1592 00:59:56,163 --> 00:59:59,432 You did? That's great. You must be so happy. 1593 00:59:59,433 --> 01:00:00,867 I'm super happy. 1594 01:00:00,868 --> 01:00:02,969 I wish you could have seen it. 1595 01:00:02,970 --> 01:00:05,038 I wish I could have seen it, too, sweetie. 1596 01:00:05,039 --> 01:00:07,140 I should have been there. I'm sorry. 1597 01:00:07,141 --> 01:00:08,174 That's okay, Daddy. 1598 01:00:08,175 --> 01:00:09,976 I know you have to stay and do your work. 1599 01:00:09,977 --> 01:00:12,745 And Mommy videotaped it for you so you can watch it later. 1600 01:00:12,746 --> 01:00:15,682 She did? That's great. 1601 01:00:15,683 --> 01:00:17,183 Is work going okay, Daddy? 1602 01:00:17,184 --> 01:00:20,153 Yeah. 1603 01:00:20,154 --> 01:00:21,920 Yeah. 1604 01:00:23,456 --> 01:00:26,292 Hey, Isabelle, I should probably get going, okay? 1605 01:00:26,293 --> 01:00:28,528 Okay. Will you come tuck me in when you get home 1606 01:00:28,529 --> 01:00:30,463 and give me a kiss? 1607 01:00:30,464 --> 01:00:32,298 Of course. 1608 01:00:32,299 --> 01:00:33,366 You want to talk to Mommy? 1609 01:00:33,367 --> 01:00:35,668 No, no, no! No. No, no, no, no, no! 1610 01:00:35,669 --> 01:00:37,704 Just tell Mommy that I am, 1611 01:00:37,705 --> 01:00:40,173 you know, gonna be home soon, okay? 1612 01:00:40,174 --> 01:00:41,608 Okay. Love you, Daddy. 1613 01:00:41,609 --> 01:00:43,376 I love you, too, pal. Bye. 1614 01:00:43,377 --> 01:00:44,577 Bye. 1615 01:00:44,578 --> 01:00:47,446 He didn't want to talk to me? 1616 01:00:49,749 --> 01:00:52,451 (MEN SHOUTING) 1617 01:00:59,559 --> 01:01:01,327 Hey, Candy. 1618 01:01:01,328 --> 01:01:02,562 Hey, buddy, fuck off. 1619 01:01:02,563 --> 01:01:04,097 Just relax, buddy. 1620 01:01:04,098 --> 01:01:04,897 What's up, Luke? 1621 01:01:04,898 --> 01:01:07,567 Not me. Get lost, buddy. 1622 01:01:07,568 --> 01:01:09,168 Look, you were totally right 1623 01:01:09,169 --> 01:01:12,238 about the whole mid-life crisis thing. 1624 01:01:12,239 --> 01:01:13,273 Weird, huh? 1625 01:01:13,274 --> 01:01:15,308 Not really, no. 1626 01:01:15,309 --> 01:01:19,012 Well, anyway, I found out what my undefined dream is. 1627 01:01:19,013 --> 01:01:20,446 You did? 1628 01:01:20,447 --> 01:01:23,616 Yeah, so thank you. 1629 01:01:23,617 --> 01:01:24,817 I'm gonna take off. 1630 01:01:24,818 --> 01:01:26,986 (CHANTING) Peeler! Peeler! Peeler! 1631 01:01:26,987 --> 01:01:31,324 Peeler! Peeler! Peeler! Peeler! 1632 01:01:31,325 --> 01:01:33,293 Peeler! Peeler! 1633 01:01:33,294 --> 01:01:35,395 Guess that's my cue for the group show. 1634 01:01:35,396 --> 01:01:40,233 Damn! That's the worst $60 I ever spent! 1635 01:01:40,234 --> 01:01:41,367 Candy, you know what? 1636 01:01:41,368 --> 01:01:42,802 I mean, you can skip this. 1637 01:01:42,803 --> 01:01:44,203 You know, you don't have to do it. 1638 01:01:44,204 --> 01:01:46,372 I mean, you have so many followers on your blog, 1639 01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:48,875 like, why don't you just be a regular writer? 1640 01:01:48,876 --> 01:01:51,144 But I am a regular writer. 1641 01:01:51,145 --> 01:01:53,279 I'm not a victim here, Luke. 1642 01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:57,283 I can assure you that there is a great sense of power and control 1643 01:01:57,284 --> 01:01:59,786 that comes when you're totally exposed to someone, 1644 01:01:59,787 --> 01:02:02,488 and yet in absolute control over them. 1645 01:02:02,489 --> 01:02:04,924 Also makes it dead simple to get into their psyche. 1646 01:02:04,925 --> 01:02:08,161 Really? Sure. 1647 01:02:08,162 --> 01:02:09,996 You ever see the look on a little kid's face 1648 01:02:09,997 --> 01:02:12,364 when they've been watching TV for too long? 1649 01:02:14,100 --> 01:02:16,569 Like taking candy from a baby. 1650 01:02:16,570 --> 01:02:17,770 (SNAPPING) 1651 01:02:17,771 --> 01:02:19,672 Holy shit. 1652 01:02:19,673 --> 01:02:21,941 It was nice meeting you, Luke. 1653 01:02:21,942 --> 01:02:24,344 (WOLF WHISTLE) 1654 01:02:24,345 --> 01:02:25,211 (HIP-HOP SONG BEGINS) 1655 01:02:25,212 --> 01:02:27,646 Here we go. All right, yeah! 1656 01:02:28,514 --> 01:02:31,149 Yeah! 1657 01:02:33,386 --> 01:02:34,620 Oh, my God! 1658 01:02:34,621 --> 01:02:36,055 That is what I'm talking about! 1659 01:02:36,056 --> 01:02:37,390 (CHEERS AND SHOUTS) 1660 01:02:37,391 --> 01:02:39,792 What are you, uh... What are you doing? 1661 01:02:39,793 --> 01:02:41,461 I thought you were leaving. 1662 01:02:41,462 --> 01:02:43,029 Yeah, I just... I got... Yeah. 1663 01:02:43,030 --> 01:02:46,065 But I have a couple of minutes, so... 1664 01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:47,433 Hi. 1665 01:02:47,434 --> 01:02:48,668 (LAUGHS) 1666 01:02:48,669 --> 01:02:51,069 (CHEERING) 1667 01:02:53,039 --> 01:02:56,275 Take the titties out! 1668 01:02:56,276 --> 01:02:57,443 Please! 1669 01:02:57,444 --> 01:02:58,811 (CHEERING) 1670 01:02:58,812 --> 01:03:01,981 Hey! That's Candy! That was great! 1671 01:03:01,982 --> 01:03:03,649 Oh, thank you so much. Okay. 1672 01:03:03,650 --> 01:03:04,951 Round of applause for Candy, 1673 01:03:04,952 --> 01:03:06,219 and we'll see her next time. 1674 01:03:06,220 --> 01:03:07,887 Hey, uh, what the fuck are you doing? 1675 01:03:07,888 --> 01:03:09,155 She didn't even start yet! 1676 01:03:09,156 --> 01:03:10,423 Well, use your imagination. 1677 01:03:10,424 --> 01:03:11,224 It was starting to... 1678 01:03:11,225 --> 01:03:12,458 What are you really doing? 1679 01:03:12,459 --> 01:03:13,693 Hmm? Oh. 1680 01:03:13,694 --> 01:03:15,495 Well, you told me to watch your back, 1681 01:03:15,496 --> 01:03:17,864 and I just feel like things are getting out of control, okay? 1682 01:03:17,865 --> 01:03:19,031 Guys, look it, I don't think 1683 01:03:19,032 --> 01:03:20,700 we need a dancer here tonight. 1684 01:03:20,701 --> 01:03:23,202 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, we fucking do! 1685 01:03:23,203 --> 01:03:24,737 Have you lost your fucking mind? 1686 01:03:24,738 --> 01:03:27,707 Yeah, we really do need some guys stuff right now, Luke! 1687 01:03:27,708 --> 01:03:28,775 You don't have to do this. 1688 01:03:28,776 --> 01:03:30,343 Yes, I do, okay? 1689 01:03:30,344 --> 01:03:33,212 Guys, let me explain. Give me a second. 1690 01:03:33,213 --> 01:03:36,883 We are grown, mature men. 1691 01:03:36,884 --> 01:03:38,284 Get him! 1692 01:03:38,285 --> 01:03:39,552 (SHOUTING) 1693 01:03:39,553 --> 01:03:41,286 No, no, no! 1694 01:03:43,956 --> 01:03:46,626 Wait! Wait! Wait! 1695 01:03:46,627 --> 01:03:49,095 Just a minute, okay? 1696 01:03:49,096 --> 01:03:51,964 I, uh... I came here to dance for you guys, 1697 01:03:51,965 --> 01:03:53,232 so that's what I'm gonna do. 1698 01:03:53,233 --> 01:03:55,001 ALL: Yeah! 1699 01:03:55,002 --> 01:03:57,003 But first, I need to come clean. 1700 01:03:57,004 --> 01:04:00,273 My name isn't Candy. It's Margaret. 1701 01:04:00,274 --> 01:04:01,941 Yeah, okay, Candy, Margaret, whatever! 1702 01:04:01,942 --> 01:04:03,176 Take the titties out! 1703 01:04:03,177 --> 01:04:05,411 And I'm actually not just a stripper. 1704 01:04:05,412 --> 01:04:07,079 I'm a writer. 1705 01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:09,549 And I've been secretly using all of you in a giant case study. 1706 01:04:09,550 --> 01:04:12,518 So even though the mood has been killed, 1707 01:04:12,519 --> 01:04:15,755 and it's not something I want to do right now, 1708 01:04:15,756 --> 01:04:17,023 I'm gonna strip for you. 1709 01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:19,926 But you need to be aware that you are, 1710 01:04:19,927 --> 01:04:21,227 in a sense, all guinea pigs 1711 01:04:21,228 --> 01:04:23,162 being used in a massive case study 1712 01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:24,397 that will essentially reflect 1713 01:04:24,398 --> 01:04:27,499 how the male species is perceived. 1714 01:04:29,802 --> 01:04:32,038 Yeah, she's gonna strip! 1715 01:04:32,039 --> 01:04:34,740 (CHEERING) 1716 01:04:34,741 --> 01:04:39,811 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1717 01:04:46,619 --> 01:04:47,987 Yeah! (WILD CHEERING) 1718 01:04:47,988 --> 01:04:49,021 Wait! 1719 01:04:49,022 --> 01:04:50,423 (GROANING) 1720 01:04:50,424 --> 01:04:51,491 Wait! 1721 01:04:51,492 --> 01:04:53,092 What are you doing? 1722 01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:55,495 What are you doing?! 1723 01:04:55,496 --> 01:04:56,629 She's right. 1724 01:04:56,630 --> 01:04:57,864 KEN: (WHISPERING) What the fuck are you doing? 1725 01:04:57,865 --> 01:04:59,232 She's a person. 1726 01:04:59,233 --> 01:05:01,734 Her name is Margaret. 1727 01:05:01,735 --> 01:05:05,438 She has a mom and a dad and brothers and sisters. 1728 01:05:05,439 --> 01:05:08,174 Look, she's more than just nice boobs 1729 01:05:08,175 --> 01:05:10,676 and gyrating hips. 1730 01:05:10,677 --> 01:05:12,311 Jesus. 1731 01:05:12,312 --> 01:05:14,280 My whole life, I've been looked at like an object, 1732 01:05:14,281 --> 01:05:16,516 and not in a good way. 1733 01:05:16,517 --> 01:05:18,751 Been looked at like something 1734 01:05:18,752 --> 01:05:23,055 that's worthless and replaceable. 1735 01:05:23,056 --> 01:05:25,658 Nobody gives a crap about who I am. 1736 01:05:25,659 --> 01:05:28,561 Oh, my God. So? 1737 01:05:28,562 --> 01:05:30,196 That feels like shit. 1738 01:05:30,197 --> 01:05:32,598 Then I met this great girl, and... 1739 01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:35,468 This is officially the worst stag party ever. 1740 01:05:35,469 --> 01:05:37,770 And I treated her the same way, 1741 01:05:37,771 --> 01:05:40,373 so I learned my lesson. 1742 01:05:40,374 --> 01:05:42,174 Margaret, you're free to go. 1743 01:05:42,175 --> 01:05:44,610 Not so fast, Margaret! 1744 01:05:44,611 --> 01:05:47,346 See, I personally don't give a shit about your name 1745 01:05:47,347 --> 01:05:48,381 or your blog. 1746 01:05:48,382 --> 01:05:49,849 And, Carl, I don't give a shit 1747 01:05:49,850 --> 01:05:51,884 about your sad-sack fucking story. 1748 01:05:51,885 --> 01:05:54,353 What I do give a shit about is seeing 1749 01:05:54,354 --> 01:05:58,090 those beautiful tits on my friend Kenny's head. 1750 01:05:58,091 --> 01:05:59,992 Right, Henry? Yeah! 1751 01:05:59,993 --> 01:06:01,327 PAUL: Henry? 1752 01:06:01,328 --> 01:06:03,429 (CRYING) It's just a heartbreaking story. 1753 01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:06,032 Oh, fuck this, Carl! Get off the stage! 1754 01:06:06,033 --> 01:06:08,668 There is a stripper here who need to get to work! 1755 01:06:08,669 --> 01:06:11,671 Over my dead body. 1756 01:06:11,672 --> 01:06:13,005 Mine, too. 1757 01:06:13,006 --> 01:06:15,174 That is not gonna be a fucking problem. 1758 01:06:15,175 --> 01:06:16,475 (MEN SHOUTING) 1759 01:06:16,476 --> 01:06:18,311 Yeow! 1760 01:06:18,312 --> 01:06:19,312 Yeow! 1761 01:06:19,313 --> 01:06:20,112 (GRUNTS) 1762 01:06:20,113 --> 01:06:22,114 (CRASH) MEN: Ohh! 1763 01:06:22,115 --> 01:06:23,215 What was that? 1764 01:06:23,216 --> 01:06:24,216 Christ, Henry, what are you doing? 1765 01:06:24,217 --> 01:06:25,451 Are you all right? 1766 01:06:25,452 --> 01:06:27,186 HENRY: Oh, I landed on my wallet! 1767 01:06:27,187 --> 01:06:29,188 All right, that's it. Party's over. 1768 01:06:29,189 --> 01:06:30,523 Party's over? What do you mean, party... 1769 01:06:30,524 --> 01:06:32,358 It's 9:00. 1770 01:06:32,359 --> 01:06:34,226 Finish your drinks and get the fuck out of my bar! 1771 01:06:34,227 --> 01:06:36,362 Why are you cursing at me? I'm... 1772 01:06:36,363 --> 01:06:39,430 I'm the dude paying you! 1773 01:06:41,968 --> 01:06:44,971 This is awesome. 1774 01:06:44,972 --> 01:06:47,972 Man, I so wanted to burn your ass. 1775 01:06:49,241 --> 01:06:51,543 I wanted you to burn my ass. 1776 01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:56,882 Rory, let me ask you something, man. 1777 01:06:56,883 --> 01:06:59,385 For years, you've been carrying this chip on your shoulder 1778 01:06:59,386 --> 01:07:03,189 from me ruining your perception thing, right? 1779 01:07:03,190 --> 01:07:05,124 Very much so. 1780 01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:06,392 Weren't you the guy that we painted 1781 01:07:06,393 --> 01:07:08,594 a gigantic face on his body 1782 01:07:08,595 --> 01:07:11,631 to make his pecker look like his tongue? 1783 01:07:11,632 --> 01:07:14,967 How does that cause a mental problem? 1784 01:07:14,968 --> 01:07:16,469 My fiancée had been suffering 1785 01:07:16,470 --> 01:07:19,238 from low self-esteem issues in the bedroom. 1786 01:07:19,239 --> 01:07:23,209 When she walked in and saw me laying there with "it" 1787 01:07:23,210 --> 01:07:25,177 sticking its tongue out at her, 1788 01:07:25,178 --> 01:07:26,712 she was so hurt emotionally, 1789 01:07:26,713 --> 01:07:31,517 she couldn't bring herself to touch it anymore. 1790 01:07:31,518 --> 01:07:35,688 So I was exiled to an island of self-pleasure. 1791 01:07:35,689 --> 01:07:37,690 One day, she came into the bathroom unannounced, 1792 01:07:37,691 --> 01:07:42,461 and I fell backward into the tub and smacked my head. 1793 01:07:42,462 --> 01:07:45,498 Ever since then, I've had this condition. 1794 01:07:45,499 --> 01:07:46,832 That's weird. 1795 01:07:46,833 --> 01:07:48,034 Mm-hmm. 1796 01:07:48,035 --> 01:07:50,736 Is it permanent? 1797 01:07:50,737 --> 01:07:52,338 The doctors say it'll take a few years, 1798 01:07:52,339 --> 01:07:55,041 but it'll eventually go away. 1799 01:07:55,042 --> 01:07:56,742 What about your wife? 1800 01:07:56,743 --> 01:07:58,077 Oh. (LAUGHS) 1801 01:07:58,078 --> 01:07:59,512 We, uh... 1802 01:07:59,513 --> 01:08:01,047 We've been going to this sex therapist. 1803 01:08:01,048 --> 01:08:03,416 Oh, nice. Yeah, and, um... 1804 01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:05,384 (LAUGHING) You know, ever since then, 1805 01:08:05,385 --> 01:08:06,786 she's been like an animal. 1806 01:08:06,787 --> 01:08:09,555 Okay. Like a wildebeest or like a jackalope. 1807 01:08:09,556 --> 01:08:10,656 Oh! 1808 01:08:10,657 --> 01:08:12,258 Yeah. She just wants it all the time. 1809 01:08:12,259 --> 01:08:13,492 Whoa. That's great! 1810 01:08:13,493 --> 01:08:15,194 Yeah. Well, only problem is, 1811 01:08:15,195 --> 01:08:17,129 you know, with the whole depth, perception thing, 1812 01:08:17,130 --> 01:08:18,631 I keep trying to dock the boat 1813 01:08:18,632 --> 01:08:20,032 in the wrong slip. 1814 01:08:20,033 --> 01:08:22,234 Keep trying to put my penis in her bum. 1815 01:08:22,235 --> 01:08:23,302 Yeah, I got it. 1816 01:08:23,303 --> 01:08:24,937 That's not a metaphor. 1817 01:08:24,938 --> 01:08:26,906 I'm gonna head out, pal. 1818 01:08:26,907 --> 01:08:28,307 Of course, you are. 1819 01:08:28,308 --> 01:08:30,543 I mean, why would you stay? 1820 01:08:30,544 --> 01:08:31,577 You okay? 1821 01:08:31,578 --> 01:08:32,378 Oh, I'm fine. 1822 01:08:32,379 --> 01:08:34,146 I'm fucking awesome. 1823 01:08:34,147 --> 01:08:35,314 When people look back at this event, 1824 01:08:35,315 --> 01:08:36,515 you know what they'll say? 1825 01:08:36,516 --> 01:08:37,316 What? 1826 01:08:37,317 --> 01:08:38,584 Nothing, okay? 1827 01:08:38,585 --> 01:08:40,653 They won't say a damn thing! 1828 01:08:40,654 --> 01:08:43,556 There'll be no memories, no tales, 1829 01:08:43,557 --> 01:08:45,057 no legacy, 1830 01:08:45,058 --> 01:08:46,492 just a guy whose best friends 1831 01:08:46,493 --> 01:08:48,461 don't care about him enough to abuse him 1832 01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:50,929 (SHOUTING) at his own stag! 1833 01:08:52,732 --> 01:08:54,633 You okay? 1834 01:08:54,634 --> 01:08:56,602 Yeah, yeah. 1835 01:08:56,603 --> 01:08:58,504 Feel like a bit of an idiot, though. 1836 01:08:58,505 --> 01:09:00,206 No, no, no. 1837 01:09:00,207 --> 01:09:02,475 That was brave, Henry. 1838 01:09:02,476 --> 01:09:05,177 Poorly executed, but brave. 1839 01:09:05,178 --> 01:09:07,079 Like Jason Statham? 1840 01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:08,613 No. No. 1841 01:09:11,250 --> 01:09:14,053 Look, about what happened earlier 1842 01:09:14,054 --> 01:09:17,656 in the, uh, alley. 1843 01:09:17,657 --> 01:09:19,492 Yeah. Uh, that. 1844 01:09:19,493 --> 01:09:24,963 Um, well, you know, uh... 1845 01:09:27,433 --> 01:09:29,734 Look, the fucked-up thing is... 1846 01:09:31,871 --> 01:09:33,405 I didn't hate it. 1847 01:09:33,406 --> 01:09:34,774 It was weird. 1848 01:09:34,775 --> 01:09:35,708 Yeah, it was weird. 1849 01:09:35,709 --> 01:09:37,409 Weird. Fuckin' weird, but... 1850 01:09:37,410 --> 01:09:39,944 You know, we'll work that out. 1851 01:09:40,913 --> 01:09:42,148 Yeah, yeah. 1852 01:09:42,149 --> 01:09:43,983 Yeah, we'll work that out. 1853 01:09:43,984 --> 01:09:45,818 We'll work it out, but... 1854 01:09:45,819 --> 01:09:48,387 look, keep this on the fucking downlow, right? 1855 01:09:48,388 --> 01:09:51,924 Yeah, like, way... fucking low. 1856 01:09:51,925 --> 01:09:52,992 Down there. 1857 01:09:52,993 --> 01:09:54,460 Good. 1858 01:09:54,461 --> 01:09:56,896 All right, let's go hang with these monkeys 1859 01:09:56,897 --> 01:09:58,030 and get the fuck out of here. 1860 01:09:58,031 --> 01:09:59,497 All right. 1861 01:10:00,366 --> 01:10:01,567 Uh, you got stuff... 1862 01:10:01,568 --> 01:10:03,169 Don't fucking touch me! 1863 01:10:03,170 --> 01:10:05,436 There's just schmutz on your... 1864 01:10:08,674 --> 01:10:11,043 I am so sorry about the mess. 1865 01:10:11,044 --> 01:10:12,545 God. 1866 01:10:12,546 --> 01:10:15,514 It's no problem. I've seen a lot worse. 1867 01:10:15,515 --> 01:10:18,216 Those guys can be pigs, you know? 1868 01:10:19,318 --> 01:10:21,586 Some of them. 1869 01:10:22,988 --> 01:10:24,824 Hey, Pam, 1870 01:10:24,825 --> 01:10:28,227 let's say, uh, we're at a family gathering. 1871 01:10:28,228 --> 01:10:31,664 You know, you're there, and my wife is there. 1872 01:10:31,665 --> 01:10:32,965 Uh-huh. 1873 01:10:32,966 --> 01:10:36,268 I mean, you're not the kind of person that would talk 1874 01:10:36,269 --> 01:10:38,870 about work when you're with family anyway, right? 1875 01:10:40,739 --> 01:10:43,375 I'll make you a deal, Uncle Luke. 1876 01:10:43,376 --> 01:10:44,610 I will never talk about this night 1877 01:10:44,611 --> 01:10:46,779 in the presence of our family, 1878 01:10:46,780 --> 01:10:50,049 if you promise never to say the word "pussy" 1879 01:10:50,050 --> 01:10:52,117 in front of me again. 1880 01:10:52,118 --> 01:10:53,252 I didn't. Did I say pu... 1881 01:10:53,253 --> 01:10:56,121 Did I say that? Yeah. 1882 01:10:56,122 --> 01:10:57,389 Deal. I will... I will... 1883 01:10:57,390 --> 01:10:58,524 I will not do that again. 1884 01:10:58,525 --> 01:11:00,226 I'm surprised I even said it. 1885 01:11:00,227 --> 01:11:02,094 Probably wasn't me. 1886 01:11:02,095 --> 01:11:03,662 But I'll tell the guys not to do it. 1887 01:11:03,663 --> 01:11:06,398 All right, guys, I'm gonna get going. 1888 01:11:06,399 --> 01:11:08,599 See you, Randy. 1889 01:11:12,705 --> 01:11:15,106 Ah, well... 1890 01:11:18,577 --> 01:11:21,846 Did I say "pussy" earlier out loud? 1891 01:11:23,315 --> 01:11:24,916 LUKE: Unbelievable. 1892 01:11:26,285 --> 01:11:29,188 Hey, Ken, look, I'm sorry that you didn't have a... 1893 01:11:29,189 --> 01:11:30,990 No, no, no, I get it. 1894 01:11:30,991 --> 01:11:32,890 I'm a dick. 1895 01:11:34,226 --> 01:11:36,262 I'm a dick. 1896 01:11:36,263 --> 01:11:38,631 It's time to stop with all of this 1897 01:11:38,632 --> 01:11:41,166 idiotic behavior and childish pranks 1898 01:11:41,167 --> 01:11:42,568 and settle down. 1899 01:11:42,569 --> 01:11:45,237 I even know how awesome Caroline is for me 1900 01:11:45,238 --> 01:11:47,873 and how perfect we are together. 1901 01:11:47,874 --> 01:11:50,743 I just wanted one last night, though, you know? 1902 01:11:50,744 --> 01:11:53,846 One last night. I wanted to celebrate. 1903 01:11:53,847 --> 01:11:55,915 I wanted to wear a stripper's boobs 1904 01:11:55,916 --> 01:11:58,117 on my head like a sailor hat. 1905 01:11:58,118 --> 01:11:59,851 Crazy. 1906 01:12:00,886 --> 01:12:04,957 I'll settle for beers with my best friends 1907 01:12:04,958 --> 01:12:07,558 and the two gay guys. 1908 01:12:09,261 --> 01:12:11,397 What... We... 1909 01:12:11,398 --> 01:12:12,930 No. 1910 01:12:17,369 --> 01:12:22,073 Oh... my... God. 1911 01:12:31,383 --> 01:12:34,318 I'll mention the great ass thing. 1912 01:12:39,992 --> 01:12:41,293 Hey. 1913 01:12:41,294 --> 01:12:43,362 Hey. 1914 01:12:43,363 --> 01:12:44,830 Uh, how did you... 1915 01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:46,565 You told the wardrobe girl 1916 01:12:46,566 --> 01:12:49,335 that you had a special gala to attend here? 1917 01:12:49,336 --> 01:12:50,569 Oh, I did? 1918 01:12:50,570 --> 01:12:52,838 Mm-hmm. And the make-up girl 1919 01:12:52,839 --> 01:12:54,473 and the guy at craft services. 1920 01:12:54,474 --> 01:12:56,976 Okay. And I said gala? 1921 01:12:56,977 --> 01:12:58,077 Apparently. 1922 01:12:58,078 --> 01:12:59,277 Cool. 1923 01:13:01,113 --> 01:13:04,649 So why are you here? 1924 01:13:06,251 --> 01:13:08,253 I don't know. Um... 1925 01:13:08,254 --> 01:13:09,755 I guess I wanted to tell you 1926 01:13:09,756 --> 01:13:12,323 that you really bug the shit out of me. 1927 01:13:13,759 --> 01:13:15,761 Okay, message delivered. 1928 01:13:15,762 --> 01:13:17,496 Thank you for coming by. 1929 01:13:17,497 --> 01:13:19,898 But after that horrible experience, 1930 01:13:19,899 --> 01:13:24,770 I guess you maybe bugged me a little bit less. 1931 01:13:24,771 --> 01:13:26,772 I did? 1932 01:13:26,773 --> 01:13:29,942 Yeah, and then that other guy came in to finish the scene, 1933 01:13:29,943 --> 01:13:31,577 and we had the whole kiss thing. 1934 01:13:31,578 --> 01:13:33,312 I didn't notice. 1935 01:13:33,313 --> 01:13:36,148 And I realized that you were the guy in the cage 1936 01:13:36,149 --> 01:13:38,550 the whole time putting up with my psychotic-ness. 1937 01:13:38,551 --> 01:13:41,820 And, well, it just didn't really seem fair, 1938 01:13:41,821 --> 01:13:45,156 so I came to bring you this. 1939 01:13:53,866 --> 01:13:56,101 (WHISPERING) And I wasn't in character just then. 1940 01:13:56,102 --> 01:13:57,935 That was really me. 1941 01:14:02,174 --> 01:14:03,774 Wow! 1942 01:14:05,711 --> 01:14:08,779 The beer here is awesome. 1943 01:14:10,115 --> 01:14:12,351 So if don't mind hiding your face from the paparazzi, 1944 01:14:12,352 --> 01:14:14,119 I have a car waiting outside, 1945 01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,288 I was thinking maybe we could grab a late dinner. 1946 01:14:16,289 --> 01:14:17,322 Paparazzi. 1947 01:14:17,323 --> 01:14:18,624 Cool. 1948 01:14:18,625 --> 01:14:23,327 I mean, blood-sucking pricks. 1949 01:14:24,696 --> 01:14:27,332 I have a way out. 1950 01:14:27,333 --> 01:14:29,400 I think they won't see you. 1951 01:14:34,706 --> 01:14:37,643 Hey, would you mind staying here for a drink? 1952 01:14:37,644 --> 01:14:40,913 I have a favor I want to ask you. 1953 01:14:40,914 --> 01:14:43,347 (SONG BEGINS) 1954 01:14:49,955 --> 01:14:54,126 ♪ Sittin' where the stage is stayin' blue ♪ 1955 01:14:54,127 --> 01:14:57,828 ♪ Chase around the soul right out of you ♪ 1956 01:14:58,864 --> 01:15:00,899 ♪ And everything else 1957 01:15:00,900 --> 01:15:03,469 ♪ Just got in my way 1958 01:15:03,470 --> 01:15:05,404 ♪ And time was talk 1959 01:15:05,405 --> 01:15:08,072 ♪ Would make it all true 1960 01:15:16,782 --> 01:15:21,120 ♪ Out jumps a bee right through my skin ♪ 1961 01:15:21,121 --> 01:15:23,956 ♪ Each and every time that you breathe in ♪ 1962 01:15:23,957 --> 01:15:25,491 LUKE: Hey, sweetie. 1963 01:15:25,492 --> 01:15:27,025 Good morning, Daddy. 1964 01:15:27,026 --> 01:15:28,293 Come here. 1965 01:15:28,294 --> 01:15:29,461 ♪ Wake myself up 1966 01:15:29,462 --> 01:15:32,064 ♪ Man comes around 1967 01:15:32,065 --> 01:15:34,299 ♪ Clawed up all the sin 1968 01:15:34,300 --> 01:15:38,337 Daddy? What's all this? 1969 01:15:38,338 --> 01:15:40,339 ♪ Clawed up all the sin 1970 01:15:40,340 --> 01:15:44,943 Hey, what do you say we go upstairs and wake up Mom, 1971 01:15:44,944 --> 01:15:48,514 and then we go out for a nice, big pancake breakfast? 1972 01:15:48,515 --> 01:15:51,683 But first, can you tell me what it was like 1973 01:15:51,684 --> 01:15:54,185 to do a perfect cartwheel? 1974 01:15:57,823 --> 01:16:02,227 Okay. Well, first over here 1975 01:16:02,228 --> 01:16:03,762 is where my teacher called my name, 1976 01:16:03,763 --> 01:16:06,831 and I was kinda nervous. 1977 01:16:08,167 --> 01:16:09,201 Morning. 1978 01:16:09,202 --> 01:16:12,304 Mmm, morning, sweetie. 1979 01:16:12,305 --> 01:16:13,639 How ya feeling? 1980 01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:15,574 I'm feeling pretty rough. 1981 01:16:15,575 --> 01:16:17,042 Yeah? Yeah. 1982 01:16:17,043 --> 01:16:18,777 Well, it's no wonder. You were really drunk 1983 01:16:18,778 --> 01:16:20,345 when they dropped you off on our front lawn last night. 1984 01:16:20,346 --> 01:16:23,515 And what time was that? 3 A.M.? 1985 01:16:23,516 --> 01:16:25,149 11:15. 1986 01:16:26,218 --> 01:16:27,286 Damn. 1987 01:16:27,287 --> 01:16:28,787 So you had fun? 1988 01:16:28,788 --> 01:16:31,723 It was all right. 1989 01:16:31,724 --> 01:16:34,326 Why, nobody stuck a pineapple up your ass? 1990 01:16:34,327 --> 01:16:35,594 No, nobody did nothin'. 1991 01:16:35,595 --> 01:16:36,828 Mm-hmm. 1992 01:16:36,829 --> 01:16:38,797 Yeah, you should come over here 1993 01:16:38,798 --> 01:16:41,565 and look at this, uh, scumbag. 1994 01:16:43,368 --> 01:16:46,103 Scumbag? 1995 01:16:47,606 --> 01:16:50,107 Why I gotta be a scumbag? 1996 01:16:54,813 --> 01:16:58,217 That is awesome, baby! 1997 01:16:58,218 --> 01:16:59,952 Look at that! 1998 01:16:59,953 --> 01:17:03,188 I'm the scumbag grabbing Veronica Simpson's titty! 1999 01:17:03,189 --> 01:17:04,623 Go on, scumbag! 2000 01:17:04,624 --> 01:17:06,725 Scumbag number one. 2001 01:17:06,726 --> 01:17:08,860 It's time for your eTalk update. 2002 01:17:08,861 --> 01:17:10,395 Well, it looks like Veronica Simpson 2003 01:17:10,396 --> 01:17:12,931 isn't the only one with her hands full these days. 2004 01:17:12,932 --> 01:17:14,700 Last night, the star took a break 2005 01:17:14,701 --> 01:17:16,635 from her hectic filming schedule 2006 01:17:16,636 --> 01:17:18,036 to drop into a local stag party, 2007 01:17:18,037 --> 01:17:20,339 and was greeted by a few onlookers 2008 01:17:20,340 --> 01:17:21,974 and one groper! 2009 01:17:21,975 --> 01:17:23,909 The man with the hands was rushed out of the bar 2010 01:17:23,910 --> 01:17:25,210 before police arrived, 2011 01:17:25,211 --> 01:17:28,146 but has been identified as Ken Andrews. 2012 01:17:28,147 --> 01:17:30,415 A warrant has been issued for his arrest, 2013 01:17:30,416 --> 01:17:33,218 and Miss Simpson is planning on pressing charges. 2014 01:17:33,219 --> 01:17:35,153 Rumor has it Veronica was there 2015 01:17:35,154 --> 01:17:37,656 visiting a new love interest. 2016 01:17:37,657 --> 01:17:40,357 (UPBEAT MUSIC, CAMERA CLICKING) 2017 01:18:07,419 --> 01:18:09,420 (CAMERA CLICKING) 2018 01:18:25,804 --> 01:18:27,938 (BABY CRYING) 2019 01:18:30,942 --> 01:18:32,476 (GLASS SHATTERS) 2020 01:18:33,645 --> 01:18:36,413 (CAMERA CLICKING) 2021 01:18:59,204 --> 01:19:01,106 ♪ When I walk in a room and I 2022 01:19:01,107 --> 01:19:03,108 ♪ Hear a beat that I'm feelin', it makes me high ♪ 2023 01:19:03,109 --> 01:19:05,110 ♪ Wanna stay in the groove till the morning time ♪ 2024 01:19:05,111 --> 01:19:07,112 ♪ Wanna put my hands up in the sky ♪ 2025 01:19:07,113 --> 01:19:09,081 ♪ Any day of the week, I love to jam ♪ 2026 01:19:09,082 --> 01:19:10,816 ♪ Doesn't matter what part of the world I'm in ♪ 2027 01:19:10,817 --> 01:19:13,218 ♪ Want to have a good time when I'm with my friends ♪ 2028 01:19:13,219 --> 01:19:15,320 ♪ When the music is bumpin', it never ends ♪ 2029 01:19:15,321 --> 01:19:17,189 ♪ Ever since I was just a kid 2030 01:19:17,190 --> 01:19:19,091 ♪ Had rhythm in my feet everything I did ♪ 2031 01:19:19,092 --> 01:19:20,959 ♪ Everybody all around me hit the floor ♪ 2032 01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:23,095 ♪ Just lovin' them beats more and more ♪ 2033 01:19:23,096 --> 01:19:24,963 ♪ I love seein' when they shake it around ♪ 2034 01:19:24,964 --> 01:19:27,099 ♪ How they move them hips all up and down ♪ 2035 01:19:27,100 --> 01:19:29,101 ♪ From side to side all ready to rock ♪ 2036 01:19:29,102 --> 01:19:31,069 ♪ With a lowdown bass line deep inside ♪ 2037 01:19:31,070 --> 01:19:33,472 ♪ Roll your belly to the left and the right ♪ 2038 01:19:33,473 --> 01:19:35,340 ♪ Roll your belly till the end of the night ♪ 2039 01:19:35,341 --> 01:19:37,476 ♪ Roll your belly till we're all in trance ♪ 2040 01:19:37,477 --> 01:19:39,478 ♪ Come on, baby, now, belly-dance ♪ 2041 01:19:39,479 --> 01:19:41,380 ♪ Roll your belly to the left and the right ♪ 2042 01:19:41,381 --> 01:19:43,415 ♪ Roll your belly till the end of the night ♪ 2043 01:19:43,416 --> 01:19:45,484 ♪ Roll your belly till we're all in trance ♪ 2044 01:19:45,485 --> 01:19:47,719 ♪ Come on, baby, now, belly-dance ♪ 2045 01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:50,688 (SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 2046 01:20:19,451 --> 01:20:21,386 ♪ Roll your belly to the left and the right ♪ 2047 01:20:21,387 --> 01:20:23,488 ♪ Roll your belly till the end of the night ♪ 2048 01:20:23,489 --> 01:20:25,524 ♪ Roll your belly till we're all in trance ♪ 2049 01:20:25,525 --> 01:20:27,426 ♪ Come on, baby, now, belly-dance ♪ 2050 01:20:27,427 --> 01:20:29,461 ♪ Roll your belly to the left and the right ♪ 2051 01:20:29,462 --> 01:20:31,530 ♪ Roll your belly till the end of the night ♪ 2052 01:20:31,531 --> 01:20:33,532 ♪ Roll your belly till we're all in trance ♪ 2053 01:20:33,533 --> 01:20:36,300 ♪ Come on, baby, now, belly-dance ♪ 2054 01:21:04,496 --> 01:21:06,264 (SONG ENDS) 2055 01:21:06,265 --> 01:21:08,099 ♪ So call the shots 2056 01:21:08,100 --> 01:21:09,468 ♪ Girls are crazy, girls are naughty ♪ 2057 01:21:09,469 --> 01:21:11,236 ♪ Girls, they make me move my body ♪ 2058 01:21:11,237 --> 01:21:13,205 ♪ Girls are happy, girls are sweet ♪ 2059 01:21:13,206 --> 01:21:14,739 ♪ Girls, they make me move my feet ♪ 2060 01:21:14,740 --> 01:21:16,875 ♪ Girls, they love to make me trade ♪ 2061 01:21:16,876 --> 01:21:18,977 ♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪ 2062 01:21:18,978 --> 01:21:20,579 ♪ Girls, they like to buy me clothes ♪ 2063 01:21:20,580 --> 01:21:22,581 ♪ Take me dancin', (SNIFFS) my nose ♪ 2064 01:21:22,582 --> 01:21:24,349 ♪ Girls, they like to make me dance ♪ 2065 01:21:24,350 --> 01:21:26,151 ♪ Take me out and take a chance ♪ 2066 01:21:26,152 --> 01:21:28,186 ♪ Take me out and show me off ♪ 2067 01:21:28,187 --> 01:21:30,021 ♪ Smoke me up and make me cough ♪ 2068 01:21:30,022 --> 01:21:31,990 ♪ Take me out to the back of the club ♪ 2069 01:21:31,991 --> 01:21:33,658 ♪ V.I.P., a private rub 2070 01:21:33,659 --> 01:21:35,527 ♪ Girls, they like to take my hand ♪ 2071 01:21:35,528 --> 01:21:37,462 ♪ Girls, they like to meet the band ♪ 2072 01:21:37,463 --> 01:21:39,264 ♪ Girls in Europe, U.S.A. 2073 01:21:39,265 --> 01:21:41,199 ♪ Girls in China all the way 2074 01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:43,034 ♪ In the East and in the West 2075 01:21:43,035 --> 01:21:45,036 ♪ Girls are lovin' you the best ♪ 2076 01:21:45,037 --> 01:21:46,938 ♪ In the north and in the south ♪ 2077 01:21:46,939 --> 01:21:48,840 ♪ In my hand and in your mouth ♪ 2078 01:21:48,841 --> 01:21:50,475 ♪ In the night, in the day 2079 01:21:50,476 --> 01:21:52,377 ♪ Girls are comin' round my way ♪ 2080 01:21:52,378 --> 01:21:54,479 ♪ Girls are crazy, girls are naughty ♪ 2081 01:21:54,480 --> 01:21:56,214 ♪ Girls, they make me move my body ♪ 2082 01:21:56,215 --> 01:21:58,116 ♪ Girls are happy, girls are sweet ♪ 2083 01:21:58,117 --> 01:21:59,718 ♪ Girls, they make me move my feet ♪ 2084 01:21:59,719 --> 01:22:01,987 ♪ Girls, they love to make me trade ♪ 2085 01:22:01,988 --> 01:22:03,688 ♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪ 2086 01:22:03,689 --> 01:22:05,457 ♪ Girls, they like to buy me clothes ♪ 2087 01:22:05,458 --> 01:22:07,559 ♪ Take me dancin', (SNIFFS) my nose ♪ 2088 01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,361 ♪ Girls are crazy, girls are naughty ♪ 2089 01:22:09,362 --> 01:22:11,162 ♪ Girls, they make me move my body ♪ 2090 01:22:11,163 --> 01:22:13,098 ♪ Girls are happy, girls are sweet ♪ 2091 01:22:13,099 --> 01:22:15,033 ♪ Girls, they make me move my feet ♪ 2092 01:22:15,034 --> 01:22:16,668 ♪ Girls, they love to make me trade ♪ 2093 01:22:16,669 --> 01:22:18,703 ♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪ 2094 01:22:18,704 --> 01:22:20,572 ♪ Girls, they like to buy me clothes ♪ 2095 01:22:20,573 --> 01:22:22,307 ♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪ 2096 01:22:22,308 --> 01:22:25,310 ♪ I love the girls 2097 01:22:25,311 --> 01:22:27,178 ♪ I love them crazy girls 2098 01:22:27,179 --> 01:22:28,847 ♪ Crazy, crazy 2099 01:22:28,848 --> 01:22:32,951 ♪ I love them girls 2100 01:22:32,952 --> 01:22:34,886 ♪ I love my crazy girls 2101 01:22:34,887 --> 01:22:36,054 ♪ Crazy, crazy 2102 01:22:36,055 --> 01:22:37,589 ♪ I love them girls 2103 01:22:37,590 --> 01:22:39,391 ♪ Girls are thirsty, girls are sweatin' ♪ 2104 01:22:39,392 --> 01:22:41,226 ♪ Girls are wantin', girls are gettin' ♪ 2105 01:22:41,227 --> 01:22:43,128 ♪ Girls are needin', girls are takin' ♪ 2106 01:22:43,129 --> 01:22:45,030 ♪ Girls are cheatin', then they fakin' ♪ 2107 01:22:45,031 --> 01:22:46,698 ♪ Girls are hatin' other girls 2108 01:22:46,699 --> 01:22:48,733 ♪ Girls'll take over the world ♪ 2109 01:22:48,734 --> 01:22:50,435 ♪ Girls are what we gotta save ♪ 2110 01:22:50,436 --> 01:22:51,903 ♪ Girls are always what I crave ♪ 2111 01:22:51,904 --> 01:22:53,305 ♪ I like my girls 2112 01:22:53,306 --> 01:22:54,673 ♪ Girls are crazy, girls are naughty ♪ 2113 01:22:54,674 --> 01:22:56,241 ♪ Girls, they make me move my body ♪ 2114 01:22:56,242 --> 01:22:58,143 ♪ Girls are happy, girls are sweet ♪ 2115 01:22:58,144 --> 01:22:59,744 ♪ Girls, they make me move my feet ♪ 2116 01:22:59,745 --> 01:23:01,713 ♪ Girls, they love to make me trade ♪ 2117 01:23:01,714 --> 01:23:03,715 ♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪ 2118 01:23:03,716 --> 01:23:05,517 ♪ Girls, they like to buy me clothes ♪ 2119 01:23:05,518 --> 01:23:07,452 ♪ Take me dancin', (SNIFFS) my nose ♪ 2120 01:23:07,453 --> 01:23:09,321 ♪ Girls are crazy, girls are naughty ♪ 2121 01:23:09,322 --> 01:23:11,156 ♪ Girls, they make me move my body ♪ 2122 01:23:11,157 --> 01:23:13,091 ♪ Girls are happy, girls are sweet ♪ 2123 01:23:13,092 --> 01:23:14,693 ♪ Girls, they make me move my feet ♪ 2124 01:23:14,694 --> 01:23:16,728 ♪ Girls, they love to make me trade ♪ 2125 01:23:16,729 --> 01:23:18,630 ♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪ 2126 01:23:18,631 --> 01:23:20,565 ♪ Girls, they like to buy me clothes ♪ 2127 01:23:20,566 --> 01:23:22,500 ♪ Take me dancin', (SNIFFS) my nose ♪ 2128 01:23:22,501 --> 01:23:26,037 ♪ Crazy 2129 01:23:26,038 --> 01:23:28,773 ♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy 2130 01:23:28,774 --> 01:23:30,108 ♪ Take me dancin', (SNIFFS) my nose ♪ 2131 01:23:30,109 --> 01:23:33,812 ♪ Crazy, Crazy 2132 01:23:33,813 --> 01:23:36,448 ♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy 2133 01:23:36,449 --> 01:23:38,715 ♪ I love them girls 2134 01:23:44,122 --> 01:23:46,456 ♪ I love them girls148794

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.