Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:07,399
Anyone watching thinking we know fuck
all about knowing fuck all about owt,
2
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,939
needs to watch their backs.
So you've had your Labour,
3
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:14,398
reclassifying skunk, sending
prices sky-high, literally,
4
00:00:14,478 --> 00:00:18,397
literally taking the
grass from its own roots!
5
00:00:18,469 --> 00:00:20,628
Now you've got your ConDemNation,
6
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:24,388
Liberals noshing Tories like
altar boys picking dimps up!
7
00:00:24,389 --> 00:00:27,868
Have we had a national
fucking stroke or what?
8
00:00:27,869 --> 00:00:31,868
Is revolution a word or was it never?
9
00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:34,268
Anybody watching needs to know,
10
00:00:34,269 --> 00:00:37,708
we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
11
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:41,028
Well, for fuck's sake,
we live in Manchester
12
00:00:41,029 --> 00:00:43,908
and they charge us for water?!
13
00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:47,908
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found.
14
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,828
This green and pleasant
land in ancient times...
15
00:00:51,829 --> 00:00:54,908
Yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak!
16
00:00:54,909 --> 00:00:58,188
It's not theirs any more.
17
00:00:58,189 --> 00:01:00,668
This is our England now!
18
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,833
Paaaarty!
19
00:01:03,906 --> 00:01:08,021
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
20
00:01:13,676 --> 00:01:17,315
'Some people say parenting's
the hardest thing in the world.'
21
00:01:17,316 --> 00:01:21,315
Cilla, it's too early,
darling, go back to bed.
22
00:01:22,505 --> 00:01:23,824
Do you want your brekkie then?
23
00:01:23,825 --> 00:01:27,184
'Those people have never
brokered major drug deals
24
00:01:27,185 --> 00:01:29,464
'between gangs of Scouse and Mancs,
25
00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:33,464
'robbed post offices
or smuggled a mobile phone
26
00:01:33,665 --> 00:01:37,024
'and charger in Strangeways.
27
00:01:37,025 --> 00:01:39,984
'Mothering's a natural thing.
28
00:01:39,985 --> 00:01:43,584
'It's not something you need
to work at, you just do it.
29
00:01:43,585 --> 00:01:47,424
'Make sure they're fed, watered,
pick 'em up if they fall over
30
00:01:47,425 --> 00:01:48,624
'and other than that...'
31
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:52,504
Eat that, then sleep. Night!
32
00:01:52,505 --> 00:01:54,544
'Make sure they do as they're told.'
33
00:02:27,545 --> 00:02:30,584
If I'm up, every fucker's up.
34
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,504
Fire!
35
00:02:32,505 --> 00:02:34,504
Fire!
36
00:02:34,505 --> 00:02:38,424
Quick! There's a big fuck-off
fire, people are dying!
37
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:41,504
Please, someone, help!
38
00:02:45,345 --> 00:02:46,824
Morning Frank!
39
00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:58,824
Morning, Pillhead. Another warehouse
project last night, was it?
40
00:02:58,825 --> 00:03:02,424
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
41
00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:05,064
Eh, don't forget.
42
00:03:23,585 --> 00:03:24,784
Boss man!
43
00:03:24,785 --> 00:03:27,704
This is Cheryl, our latest newbie.
44
00:03:27,705 --> 00:03:30,024
You'll show her the
ropes, won't you,
45
00:03:30,025 --> 00:03:32,744
as our longest serving team member?
46
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:36,744
I've only been here a week!
47
00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:54,184
Everything going OK? Yep?
48
00:03:54,905 --> 00:03:58,904
Walk this way. And what we say is...
49
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:03,704
Have a greaaaaaat day.
50
00:04:07,145 --> 00:04:08,864
Do you think you could
find a bigger chair?!
51
00:04:08,865 --> 00:04:10,224
Yeah, tell me about it!
52
00:04:10,225 --> 00:04:12,384
Drop it down your end.
53
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:13,504
Not you!
54
00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:16,584
For God's sake, why don't you
just pick the bleeding thing up?!
55
00:04:16,585 --> 00:04:19,144
Why won't you do what I ask?!
56
00:04:19,145 --> 00:04:20,584
Right, sit there.
57
00:04:20,585 --> 00:04:21,344
What's going on?
58
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:24,104
He won't do his drawing at the
table so there's felt tip all over.
59
00:04:24,105 --> 00:04:26,504
Right, you sit there,
and you're drinking that juice.
60
00:04:26,505 --> 00:04:27,464
He's only a baby.
61
00:04:27,465 --> 00:04:31,464
He's wrecking the place! Look!
62
00:04:32,025 --> 00:04:32,864
It's not funny, Mimi!
63
00:04:32,865 --> 00:04:34,264
But it kind of is.
64
00:04:34,265 --> 00:04:35,264
What, drawing a co -?
65
00:04:35,265 --> 00:04:36,224
Rocket.
66
00:04:36,225 --> 00:04:38,104
Rocket.
67
00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:41,904
Drawing a rocket all over the doors
and all over the walls isn't right.
68
00:04:41,905 --> 00:04:44,344
Karen, boys will be boys.
69
00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:48,024
Our Micky was always
drawing c... rockets.
70
00:04:48,025 --> 00:04:51,104
He was obsessed with 'em,
draw 'em morning till night.
71
00:04:51,105 --> 00:04:54,024
There was rockets here, there,
they were all over the place!
72
00:04:54,025 --> 00:04:56,984
They weren't all over your living
room walls. It's not normal!
73
00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:57,584
He's only a kid.
74
00:04:57,585 --> 00:04:59,864
What is the point of
us buying nice furniture,
75
00:04:59,865 --> 00:05:02,384
trying to make the place look
good, when he just trashes it?
76
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,384
You need to show him who's boss.
Give him a little smack.
77
00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:08,304
What, and you think
that's what he needs?
78
00:05:08,305 --> 00:05:11,424
Give you a tap on the arse,
didn't do you any harm, did it?
79
00:05:11,425 --> 00:05:13,224
I've been such a naughty boy.
80
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:17,224
Oof! Naughtier than that!
81
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,304
Yeah.
82
00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:22,504
Well, me and Jamie don't
believe in hitting, do we?
83
00:05:22,505 --> 00:05:24,904
Give over. You two have
knocked out half of Chatsworth.
84
00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:27,344
Hitting Connor.
85
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:31,344
Fair but firm. Kids need
structure, boundaries and rules.
86
00:05:32,305 --> 00:05:36,304
Connor, no!
87
00:05:36,865 --> 00:05:38,744
Aren't you supposed to be at school?
88
00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:40,584
It's only assembly
and shit like that.
89
00:05:40,585 --> 00:05:43,944
Doesn't matter what it is.
Get your arse down there
90
00:05:43,945 --> 00:05:47,104
before education start banging
on us door again. Now!
91
00:05:47,105 --> 00:05:48,584
All right, keep your wig on.
92
00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:49,984
I mean it, Aidan,
we don't need the hassle.
93
00:05:49,985 --> 00:05:52,064
Yeah, yeah.
94
00:05:52,065 --> 00:05:56,064
Show off in front of your mate and
you'll get a boot up the arse, lad.
95
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:03,064
She's not bad your mum.
I'd well slip her one.
96
00:06:03,065 --> 00:06:07,064
She ain't my mum! She's just
some prozzie who crashes here.
97
00:06:10,785 --> 00:06:12,784
I wanted to go to uni.
98
00:06:12,785 --> 00:06:14,624
Why didn't you?
99
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,024
There's not much point
nowadays, is there?
100
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:17,664
Was there ever?
101
00:06:17,665 --> 00:06:20,304
What are yous doing out there?!
102
00:06:20,305 --> 00:06:22,744
Just showing Cheryl the ropes,
you know, like you said.
103
00:06:22,745 --> 00:06:25,504
Got to get her up to speed
on the rule book, haven't we?
104
00:06:25,505 --> 00:06:29,344
Well, can you carry on inside?
It's the lunchtime rush. I need you on the counter.
105
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,104
I'm on my way.
106
00:06:30,105 --> 00:06:33,264
Look, hold up. We're just grabbing
a fresh lung full of, you know,
107
00:06:33,265 --> 00:06:37,264
and we'll be right there.
Wesley!
108
00:06:37,345 --> 00:06:41,224
Be quick!
Yeah.
109
00:06:41,225 --> 00:06:43,144
If they're a bit short-staffed,
shouldn't we just...?
110
00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:45,064
What's the worst that can happen?
111
00:06:45,065 --> 00:06:47,984
Some lard-arse is going to be two
minutes late getting their burger?
112
00:06:47,985 --> 00:06:51,984
Can't have management throwing
their weight around, can we? Wankers.
113
00:06:53,785 --> 00:06:57,784
Oi! That fucking chair
is completely stuck now!
114
00:07:00,945 --> 00:07:03,824
Robbed the library?
115
00:07:03,825 --> 00:07:07,824
Free The Child,
Free the Mother, haha!
116
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:11,544
"By Professor Alex Yates."
117
00:07:11,545 --> 00:07:14,664
Got some really
good ideas, actually.
118
00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:17,944
"You and your child
will discover the secret
119
00:07:17,945 --> 00:07:21,944
"to smash through the glass
ceiling and unlock the gateway
120
00:07:22,105 --> 00:07:26,104
"to a new world of freedom,
happiness and success."
121
00:07:27,545 --> 00:07:31,544
No harm in having
a little bit of help.
122
00:07:32,145 --> 00:07:35,304
Eh, ease up, will you?
You know she's struggling.
123
00:07:35,305 --> 00:07:39,304
I told her, kids needs rules!
I brought you up on strict rules.
124
00:07:40,145 --> 00:07:42,184
Never done you any harm.
125
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:43,984
You broke my rules, mate,
126
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:47,064
so now I've got to break
something of yours, yeah?
127
00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:48,584
No!
128
00:07:48,585 --> 00:07:49,824
Oh, no!
129
00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:51,264
Get us a vodka.
130
00:07:51,265 --> 00:07:53,544
Just don't let it spin
out of control, Mam.
131
00:07:53,545 --> 00:07:55,104
I know what you're fucking like.
132
00:07:55,105 --> 00:07:56,664
I doubt he meant it.
133
00:07:56,665 --> 00:07:57,664
Oh, he meant it all right.
134
00:07:57,665 --> 00:08:01,304
I mean, maybe he meant
it affectionately?
135
00:08:01,305 --> 00:08:04,864
"Just some prozzie who crashes
here"? How is that affectionate?
136
00:08:04,865 --> 00:08:08,424
His mum's a prost... hooker?
137
00:08:08,425 --> 00:08:09,384
Sex worker.
138
00:08:09,385 --> 00:08:12,184
Sex worker. So maybe he just
don't know any different.
139
00:08:12,185 --> 00:08:14,344
He thinks all women are prostitutes?
140
00:08:14,345 --> 00:08:15,104
Yeah, could be.
141
00:08:15,105 --> 00:08:17,104
I'm going to have to work on him.
142
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:20,664
But you're a woman and a pros...
143
00:08:20,665 --> 00:08:24,664
sex worker...
144
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:30,424
Mayo the burgers,
wrap 'em up, get em out.
145
00:08:30,425 --> 00:08:33,784
Mayo the burgers, wrap
'em up, get... Pillhead?!
146
00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:37,784
Oh, fuck!
147
00:08:38,745 --> 00:08:41,304
Oh, fucking hell!
148
00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:44,864
Rinse them under the tap.
149
00:08:44,865 --> 00:08:46,944
We're going to have
to shut the shop down!
150
00:08:46,945 --> 00:08:48,784
If we're closed, we don't get paid.
151
00:08:48,785 --> 00:08:51,224
Shut down, everyone. Shut it down.
152
00:08:51,225 --> 00:08:52,304
What's the problem?
153
00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:55,984
Aside from him chucking up
in the deep fat fryer, nothing!
154
00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:57,904
What, in there?!
155
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:58,824
I told him I felt rough.
156
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:02,064
We'll have to kill the fryer,
cool the oil, drain, clean...
157
00:09:02,065 --> 00:09:04,584
Whoa, whoa! We don't have to do that.
158
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,944
There are health and safety issues.
This is a breach of guidelines.
159
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:08,064
I'm on full wages...
160
00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:11,984
It's all in the handbook.
Chapter three, subsection B, "Bodily fluids."
161
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,504
This is a code red.
I need to close the shop.
162
00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:17,104
If you shut it down,
you won't hit your targets.
163
00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:19,344
It's boiling fat, nothing
can live in there.
164
00:09:19,345 --> 00:09:21,144
Just scoop the lumps out
and carry on.
165
00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:24,304
Yeah, if we knew it was
contaminated, we'd drain it
166
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:27,304
but if we didn't know...?
167
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,104
I couldn't...
168
00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:32,104
You're out front serving customers.
You don't know about it, do you?
169
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:33,984
It'll all be fine. Trust me.
170
00:09:33,985 --> 00:09:37,104
You, go and stick your
head in the fridge.
171
00:09:37,105 --> 00:09:40,184
Cheryl front of house with Tracy.
Akeeba, that's right, fresh fries.
172
00:09:40,185 --> 00:09:42,824
Wesley, you clear that up. Come on!
173
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:46,824
Big time.
174
00:09:48,665 --> 00:09:52,664
Anyone for pakora?
175
00:10:02,465 --> 00:10:06,464
Come on!
176
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:17,144
World of Burger,
World of Pleasure. Mm-hmm.
177
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:25,304
Oh-ho! Well done, Teamsters!
178
00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:29,944
Right, come on,
smokers, fill your lungs.
179
00:10:29,945 --> 00:10:32,624
You can cover for us, can't you?
I'm in charge!
180
00:10:32,625 --> 00:10:36,624
Yeah, course you are.
181
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:42,024
50 quid for a moggy.
182
00:10:42,025 --> 00:10:44,184
I'm brassic and this stupid lunatic
183
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,464
is offering 50 fucking
quid for a furball.
184
00:10:47,465 --> 00:10:50,624
Stupid like that, aren't they? They
get all emotional over daft shit.
185
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:52,344
If they're on their moon.
186
00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:54,224
Nah, man, my policy's sorted.
187
00:10:54,225 --> 00:10:57,104
In-and-out, no involvement,
no trouble, no fucking headache.
188
00:10:57,105 --> 00:11:01,104
Drop your cocks and grab your
socks, we are off to the flicks.
189
00:11:02,385 --> 00:11:04,904
I'm taking you to see a film.
190
00:11:04,905 --> 00:11:08,904
Him, not you, and no,
don't touch your penis.
191
00:11:16,065 --> 00:11:20,064
No, you can't get the fucking staff.
192
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,304
Hey, Teamsters!
193
00:11:23,305 --> 00:11:27,304
We've got a shift on.
Come on, let's get a, er, shift on.
194
00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:32,944
Ooh, er - wait up, Frank.
195
00:11:32,945 --> 00:11:35,784
You're not on the counter
this afternoon,
196
00:11:35,785 --> 00:11:37,784
I've got something more
suited to your talents.
197
00:11:37,785 --> 00:11:40,904
'World of Burgers chicken deal!'
198
00:11:40,905 --> 00:11:44,904
World of Burgers chicken deal! World
of Burgers, the ultimate chicken.
199
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,384
Fills you up, doesn't let you down.
200
00:11:47,385 --> 00:11:51,017
Come on, love, fair is
fowl and fowl is fair.
201
00:11:55,075 --> 00:11:57,634
You do not want to know
what two Cokes just cost me!
202
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:02,249
This so-called cinema is so far
up its own fucking arse,
203
00:12:02,278 --> 00:12:03,997
they don't even sell popcorn!
204
00:12:03,998 --> 00:12:06,037
We could've went
to a normal pictures,
205
00:12:06,038 --> 00:12:07,797
with normal films
like normal people.
206
00:12:07,798 --> 00:12:10,037
This has a strong woman in the lead,
207
00:12:10,038 --> 00:12:13,957
cos sometimes films just
show women as pieces of meat.
208
00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:16,157
Oh.
209
00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:17,877
Women aren't just pieces of meat.
210
00:12:17,878 --> 00:12:19,197
We're a lot more than that.
211
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:22,197
Yeah. We've got our differences.
212
00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:25,517
Men and women, yeah,
not just shagging...
213
00:12:25,518 --> 00:12:28,277
we've got, like, different roles.
214
00:12:28,278 --> 00:12:29,477
Yeah.
215
00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:31,717
They go way back like when
we were cavemen and that.
216
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,437
Yeah, but that's not
exclusive to men.
217
00:12:33,438 --> 00:12:34,477
Yeah but women,
218
00:12:34,478 --> 00:12:36,877
women just stayed in the caves,
carrying wood,
219
00:12:36,878 --> 00:12:39,157
looking after the kids
and cooking the men's food.
220
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,197
But times have changed, haven't they?
221
00:12:41,198 --> 00:12:43,357
It's not really like that
any more, is it?
222
00:12:43,358 --> 00:12:44,957
No. Men sign on and go to the pub
223
00:12:44,958 --> 00:12:47,597
while women fuck around
with their nails.
224
00:12:47,598 --> 00:12:50,357
Can I have a shot?
225
00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:51,597
You're under aged.
226
00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:54,397
Oh. And how old were you
when you started?
227
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:58,397
C'mon.
228
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:03,637
Shane.
229
00:13:03,638 --> 00:13:05,877
Y'ello.
230
00:13:05,878 --> 00:13:09,797
I'm a good mum, aren't I?
231
00:13:09,798 --> 00:13:10,917
Aren't I?
232
00:13:10,918 --> 00:13:14,077
Yeah.
233
00:13:14,078 --> 00:13:18,077
Well, you don't seem too sure.
234
00:13:18,358 --> 00:13:20,437
Well, you're the only one
I've had, aren't you?
235
00:13:20,438 --> 00:13:24,437
I've no-one else to compare you to.
236
00:13:25,158 --> 00:13:28,437
I've been good to you lot.
237
00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:31,637
Except for the time you stashed
drugs in Mandy's dolls, yeah.
238
00:13:31,638 --> 00:13:33,917
Taught her about safe places.
239
00:13:33,918 --> 00:13:35,757
And when you took Mickey
prison visiting
240
00:13:35,758 --> 00:13:39,757
when he was ten years old,
and you left him in Strangeways.
241
00:13:40,078 --> 00:13:41,997
Taught him to respect authority.
242
00:13:41,998 --> 00:13:43,797
Mmm.
243
00:13:43,798 --> 00:13:47,637
All in all,
I've done a pretty good job.
244
00:13:47,638 --> 00:13:51,637
Ha! See you later.
245
00:13:52,478 --> 00:13:55,237
I hit these targets and
I'll be up for the new outlet
246
00:13:55,238 --> 00:13:56,557
at the Trafford Centre,
247
00:13:56,558 --> 00:14:00,117
and that would mean that
there'd be a vacancy right here
248
00:14:00,118 --> 00:14:04,117
for some bright young go-getter.
249
00:14:04,438 --> 00:14:08,037
Well, we could, erm,
celebrate the restaurant's birthday?
250
00:14:08,038 --> 00:14:10,277
Pretend it's been here
five years or something?
251
00:14:10,278 --> 00:14:12,397
We could celebrate
the restaurant's birthday!
252
00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:16,157
Decorate it with balloons,
and wear party hats,
253
00:14:16,158 --> 00:14:19,277
and play disco music,
you know, Agadoo and all that...
254
00:14:19,278 --> 00:14:21,717
what do you think?
255
00:14:21,718 --> 00:14:22,877
Yeah.
256
00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:26,877
Yeah. That's a great idea, yeah.
257
00:14:29,638 --> 00:14:31,077
Burger me! Sorry.
258
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,957
OK, Frankie?
259
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:33,837
How did it go?
260
00:14:33,838 --> 00:14:35,157
Great!
261
00:14:35,158 --> 00:14:36,837
Here you go.
262
00:14:36,838 --> 00:14:39,477
I've got to do me fucking job
here, y'know what I mean?
263
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:43,477
Hold that.
264
00:14:44,198 --> 00:14:47,557
It was a proper, proper laugh!
265
00:14:47,558 --> 00:14:51,397
And I met this bloke dressed
as a pint, promoting this pub,
266
00:14:51,398 --> 00:14:54,677
and he gave me all these
beer tokens - for all of us!
267
00:14:56,198 --> 00:14:58,477
Brilliant!
268
00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:02,117
Take the costume off, Frank,
you look like a cock.
269
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:06,117
Back to work!
270
00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:09,557
20 fags, please, Ches.
271
00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:11,117
It's just meat, Lillian, just meat.
272
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:11,997
They should say "meat", then.
273
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,037
But they do...
274
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:13,877
halal "meat".
275
00:15:13,878 --> 00:15:15,117
Er, hello?
276
00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:16,677
But why can't they just say "meat"?
277
00:15:16,678 --> 00:15:17,837
Because it's halal!
278
00:15:19,158 --> 00:15:20,597
Connor!
279
00:15:21,358 --> 00:15:24,117
Jesus, Karen,
control him, can't you?
280
00:15:24,118 --> 00:15:28,117
Sorry, Ches.
281
00:15:28,198 --> 00:15:30,557
One just grabs this sign
and went "My big cock", y'know?
282
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:31,757
Yeah, I fucking get it.
283
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:33,837
Oi!
284
00:15:33,838 --> 00:15:37,477
You're not automatically entitled
to cigarette breaks, you know.
285
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,637
They're at my discretion.
286
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,277
Balloons.
287
00:15:41,278 --> 00:15:43,477
500. We had a pump, but...
288
00:15:43,478 --> 00:15:44,637
it's broken.
289
00:15:44,638 --> 00:15:46,677
Get blowing, Frank.
290
00:15:46,678 --> 00:15:50,677
You're joking?
291
00:15:58,198 --> 00:16:00,677
Ah, fantastic!
292
00:16:00,678 --> 00:16:02,877
Well done, team Sirs.
293
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,517
Come on, balloons all round.
294
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:11,517
This isn't DIY fucking SOS!
295
00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:15,517
It's just an old man blowing up
some balloons, right?
296
00:16:15,718 --> 00:16:18,437
Get back to work, all of you!
297
00:16:18,438 --> 00:16:22,437
It's just a bit of teamwork, you
know. You ought to celebrate that.
298
00:16:22,998 --> 00:16:24,557
Now, remember, team,
299
00:16:24,558 --> 00:16:28,477
as you scrub to within
an inch of your lives,
300
00:16:28,478 --> 00:16:32,157
that this is all
Frank Gallagher's fault.
301
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,597
I've done nothing wrong!
302
00:16:33,598 --> 00:16:35,077
I'm the manager.
303
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,677
Not you - me!
304
00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:40,277
And no more fag breaks.
305
00:16:40,278 --> 00:16:44,277
Looked dead interesting -
what d'you reckon?
306
00:16:44,638 --> 00:16:46,277
It had subtitles.
307
00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:48,957
And?
308
00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:51,517
Is that it? Is that
the extent of your review?
309
00:16:51,518 --> 00:16:55,517
OK... I thought it was a very
interesting take on gender politics,
310
00:16:57,798 --> 00:17:00,557
and a muscular piece
of film-making...
311
00:17:00,558 --> 00:17:02,917
You're just reading
that from the poster, aren't you?
312
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:06,717
Yeah!
313
00:17:06,718 --> 00:17:07,877
Bag of shite, wasn't it?
314
00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:09,197
Yeah.
315
00:17:09,198 --> 00:17:11,157
Come on, let's go get wasted.
316
00:17:11,158 --> 00:17:12,197
Yesss!
317
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,797
You stay there and you do not move,
cos God help me,
318
00:17:14,798 --> 00:17:16,677
I will knock you into next week -
got it?!
319
00:17:16,678 --> 00:17:18,037
Karen?!
320
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,477
He won't do as he's told.
He's wrecking the place.
321
00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:23,477
He's a baby, Karen! Shouting
at him's not going to help, is it?
322
00:17:23,478 --> 00:17:25,717
Well according to your mother,
it is.
323
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:28,877
I have to show him who is the boss!
324
00:17:28,878 --> 00:17:32,877
Well, what happened to the positive
parenting thing you were doing, eh?
325
00:17:35,278 --> 00:17:37,597
Here you go, darling.
326
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,557
You draw all over the walls,
draw all over the ceilings.
327
00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:43,317
Do what you want,
because I don't care any more.
328
00:17:43,318 --> 00:17:46,677
Mummy is going to be positive!
329
00:17:46,678 --> 00:17:50,197
Easy, innit?
330
00:17:50,198 --> 00:17:53,317
Connor!!
331
00:17:53,318 --> 00:17:54,597
Ahhh.
332
00:17:54,598 --> 00:17:58,597
My mum was a proper good-time girl.
333
00:17:59,918 --> 00:18:02,997
But she drank her looks away
and the fellas pissed off.
334
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,637
She got depressed.
335
00:18:05,638 --> 00:18:09,597
She wouldn't go out or anything.
336
00:18:09,598 --> 00:18:12,637
Was like that till she died.
337
00:18:12,638 --> 00:18:13,757
What about yours?
338
00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:15,117
A slag.
339
00:18:15,118 --> 00:18:16,837
And a smackhead.
340
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,157
There's got to be
more to her than that.
341
00:18:19,158 --> 00:18:22,997
No - that's it, the whole story.
342
00:18:22,998 --> 00:18:25,157
She loves you.
343
00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:26,197
Yeah, right.
344
00:18:26,198 --> 00:18:28,997
She must do. She brought you up,
looked after you.
345
00:18:28,998 --> 00:18:30,117
I was put in care.
346
00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:33,317
Seven families in three years.
347
00:18:33,318 --> 00:18:35,717
She had loads of
chances to clean up.
348
00:18:35,718 --> 00:18:39,077
Medication, counselling, support.
349
00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:43,077
All that shit. She couldn't do it.
350
00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:46,637
So they swiped me.
351
00:18:46,638 --> 00:18:50,277
So, despite her addiction,
352
00:18:50,278 --> 00:18:53,397
and all the nasty crap
that goes with it...
353
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,797
she never gave you up.
354
00:18:55,798 --> 00:18:59,157
Tried to hold onto you.
355
00:18:59,158 --> 00:19:03,157
They took you.
356
00:19:03,438 --> 00:19:07,437
Must've really loved you.
357
00:19:10,278 --> 00:19:11,997
Fuck it.
358
00:19:11,998 --> 00:19:13,397
It's history, anyway.
359
00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:15,717
So, you're stuck wi' me now, are you?
360
00:19:15,718 --> 00:19:19,717
For better or worse!
361
00:19:25,358 --> 00:19:26,797
I knew this would get out of hand.
362
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,997
She's all over the place
because of you.
363
00:19:28,998 --> 00:19:31,957
It's not my fault! I only gave her
a bit of motherly advice.
364
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:35,477
Why not try getting
your own house in order before you start helping anyone else?
365
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:38,397
I'm qualified, thank you very much.
I've had seven kids!
366
00:19:38,398 --> 00:19:42,117
And where are they all now, Mum, eh?
There's only me, Shane and Cilla left.
367
00:19:42,118 --> 00:19:44,877
Karen's big enough to admit
we're struggling with Connor,
368
00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:47,517
and she's trying to do
something about it. But you,
369
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:51,517
you think you're perfect, Mam,
and you're not, you're not.
370
00:19:51,798 --> 00:19:55,397
Somewhere along the line, you've
failed every fucking one of us.
371
00:19:55,398 --> 00:19:59,397
So do us a favour and
read that fucking book yourself!
372
00:20:05,598 --> 00:20:09,597
Just be a couple more minutes.
373
00:20:09,798 --> 00:20:12,117
What the fuck?
374
00:20:12,118 --> 00:20:16,117
Frank?
375
00:20:17,158 --> 00:20:18,197
What's going on?
376
00:20:18,198 --> 00:20:19,637
I'm sorry, it's not...
377
00:20:19,638 --> 00:20:22,597
everything's just kind of
slowed down a little bit.
378
00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:25,997
Ever since you binned fag breaks.
379
00:20:25,998 --> 00:20:29,717
Woooo-hoooo.
380
00:20:29,718 --> 00:20:33,717
Haaaaave a grrrrreat day.
381
00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:39,677
This is insubordination!
382
00:20:39,678 --> 00:20:43,277
There's nothing in here that tells us
what speed we need to work at.
383
00:20:43,278 --> 00:20:44,397
You're fired!
384
00:20:44,398 --> 00:20:46,757
Oh, unfortunately, you can't.
385
00:20:46,758 --> 00:20:49,637
Having successfully
completed my trial period,
386
00:20:49,638 --> 00:20:51,717
you can only issue me with a warning
387
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:54,117
for unprofessional
or gross misconduct,
388
00:20:54,118 --> 00:20:56,317
bringing the company into disrepute,
389
00:20:56,318 --> 00:20:58,757
harming or potentially
harming the company,
390
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,957
the company logo or
any of its employees.
391
00:21:00,958 --> 00:21:02,757
You could launch an investigation,
392
00:21:02,758 --> 00:21:05,677
but you'd have to suspend me
with full pay first.
393
00:21:05,678 --> 00:21:07,117
Fucking European Union.
394
00:21:07,118 --> 00:21:09,437
Well, it's the only union
we've got left, mate.
395
00:21:09,438 --> 00:21:13,437
We are a team.
396
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,717
All of you?
397
00:21:16,718 --> 00:21:19,437
All of us.
398
00:21:19,438 --> 00:21:20,957
I'm part of that team!
399
00:21:20,958 --> 00:21:24,957
Nah, you're management, mate.
400
00:21:35,318 --> 00:21:36,957
OK.
401
00:21:36,958 --> 00:21:40,957
Have it your way.
402
00:21:41,318 --> 00:21:43,157
Welcome to management, Frank.
403
00:21:43,158 --> 00:21:46,117
That's an extra
30 quid a week for you.
404
00:21:46,118 --> 00:21:50,117
Come on, team!
405
00:21:51,118 --> 00:21:54,677
Well, the only thing that
I think we need is a happy team,
406
00:21:54,678 --> 00:21:58,237
so put some choons on
and have a laugh - sorted.
407
00:21:58,238 --> 00:21:59,717
Oh, and fag breaks are back on.
408
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:03,717
Have one whenever you want.
409
00:22:04,478 --> 00:22:06,157
S'all right with you, innit?
410
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,237
Do whatever you want.
411
00:22:09,238 --> 00:22:12,757
As long as that lot gets sorted
before you clock off.
412
00:22:12,758 --> 00:22:14,917
Staff hours, orders,
413
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:17,277
rotas. You'll have plenty of time,
414
00:22:17,278 --> 00:22:21,197
providing your team run
the kitchen and counter OK.
415
00:22:21,198 --> 00:22:23,637
Oh, and as you'll know
from paragraph three,
416
00:22:23,638 --> 00:22:25,837
sub-section C
of the company handbook,
417
00:22:25,838 --> 00:22:28,117
"failure to complete
and file paperwork
418
00:22:28,118 --> 00:22:32,117
"is an immediate sackable offence."
419
00:22:34,198 --> 00:22:37,317
Tough at the top, eh, Frank?
420
00:22:37,318 --> 00:22:38,997
Cunt.
421
00:22:55,919 --> 00:22:57,638
Tch-tch-tch-tch!
422
00:22:57,639 --> 00:22:58,718
Here, 50 quid!
423
00:23:06,639 --> 00:23:09,118
Tch-tch-tch-tch!
424
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,358
Shit! Come here you, little fuck!
Tiger!
425
00:23:22,399 --> 00:23:24,198
Kelly! Kelly!
426
00:23:24,199 --> 00:23:25,398
Y'all right?
427
00:23:25,399 --> 00:23:26,718
I wanted a word.
428
00:23:26,719 --> 00:23:29,198
Yeah? Oh, fuck off, Lillian!
429
00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:33,198
Well, what we talked about,
"I've got you now..."
430
00:23:33,199 --> 00:23:35,958
I was wondering if... you want to
go out some time, you and me.
431
00:23:35,959 --> 00:23:39,478
What are you going on about, Aidan?
I'm fucking busy here!
432
00:23:39,479 --> 00:23:41,438
Is your phone broke?
433
00:23:41,439 --> 00:23:44,038
Look, can we talk about this later?
434
00:23:44,039 --> 00:23:47,918
Sorry I'm late. Traffic were a bitch.
435
00:23:47,919 --> 00:23:51,918
Traffic?
436
00:23:59,919 --> 00:24:01,358
I'd pay you double next month.
437
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,398
I'm not here about that.
438
00:24:03,399 --> 00:24:05,918
It's about your cat, Tiger?
439
00:24:05,919 --> 00:24:08,438
Charity!
440
00:24:08,439 --> 00:24:12,438
Charity, this man's found Tiger.
441
00:24:12,599 --> 00:24:14,798
There you go!
442
00:24:14,799 --> 00:24:15,718
What's...?
443
00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:19,278
That's Tiger.
444
00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:20,158
What's this, some kind of...?
445
00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:23,678
Come on, I'm sure it's him.
446
00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:25,678
A van got him... I think, you know,
447
00:24:25,679 --> 00:24:28,238
judging by the tyre marks
across his back.
448
00:24:28,239 --> 00:24:31,718
I think that's his back, anyway...
Fuck it!
449
00:24:31,719 --> 00:24:34,518
What about my 50 quid?
450
00:24:34,519 --> 00:24:35,758
In your own time, mate.
451
00:24:35,759 --> 00:24:37,638
Yeah, hang on, give us a minute.
452
00:24:37,639 --> 00:24:39,198
Great.
453
00:24:39,199 --> 00:24:43,198
Erm... Fries, sorry, just...
454
00:24:43,239 --> 00:24:44,358
Is that large fries, is it?
455
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,678
Yes, mate.
456
00:24:47,679 --> 00:24:50,238
There you go,
one Mighty Mountain Meal.
457
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,998
Sorry for the wait, I'm a bit...
458
00:24:51,999 --> 00:24:54,438
Well... Hey!
459
00:24:54,439 --> 00:24:56,798
We were just finishing
our fag break.
460
00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:57,838
Another one?!
461
00:24:57,839 --> 00:25:01,838
Well, you said we could
whenever we wanted to.
462
00:25:01,879 --> 00:25:03,878
Right, no more breaks
until further notice.
463
00:25:03,879 --> 00:25:06,798
I've got paperwork to do,
you've got targets to hit.
464
00:25:06,799 --> 00:25:09,118
We'll never hit that.
And why do you care, anyway?
465
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:10,358
Just do what I say, I'm the manager.
466
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,318
Line manager,
not that you've earned it or owt.
467
00:25:14,319 --> 00:25:16,358
Right, that's it. A verbal warning.
468
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:17,398
That's not fair!
469
00:25:17,399 --> 00:25:21,398
Well, life isn't fair, sweetheart.
Come on, back to work, all of you!
470
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:29,918
You are as free to be
whoever you want to be.
471
00:25:29,919 --> 00:25:32,678
Oh! What in the name of holy shit
is that?!
472
00:25:32,679 --> 00:25:34,638
It's a cat. It's dead now.
473
00:25:34,639 --> 00:25:37,438
No shit, CSI Chatsworth!
You can't leave that there.
474
00:25:37,439 --> 00:25:38,278
Why not?
475
00:25:38,279 --> 00:25:39,678
Because it's disrespectful.
476
00:25:39,679 --> 00:25:41,078
All right, fair enough.
477
00:25:41,079 --> 00:25:44,118
I'll give the Pope a bell, sort out
a full-on fucking Mass for it!
478
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,078
It's dead! Get over it, fuck's sake.
479
00:25:46,079 --> 00:25:50,078
You can't leave that there.
Do something with it.
480
00:25:50,639 --> 00:25:54,278
Something respectful, eh?
481
00:25:54,279 --> 00:25:58,278
Creativity, beauty
and wonder are free,
482
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:01,358
just like you.
483
00:26:02,839 --> 00:26:04,958
All right? What's that noise?
484
00:26:04,959 --> 00:26:05,998
What noise?
485
00:26:05,999 --> 00:26:07,118
The banging.
486
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,958
It's Connor.
487
00:26:08,959 --> 00:26:11,598
I locked him in the wardrobe.
I'm being a firm parent.
488
00:26:11,599 --> 00:26:15,598
Can't you see how happy
it's making us all?
489
00:26:18,239 --> 00:26:22,238
'Something respectful, yeah?'
490
00:26:43,719 --> 00:26:47,318
Excuse me? Excuse me!
491
00:26:47,319 --> 00:26:49,318
Oh.
492
00:26:49,319 --> 00:26:51,958
Oi! Where are you lot going?
493
00:26:51,959 --> 00:26:52,758
Pub.
494
00:26:52,759 --> 00:26:53,918
What, all of you?
495
00:26:53,919 --> 00:26:55,558
You did the rota.
496
00:26:55,559 --> 00:26:57,158
No, you have to stay.
497
00:26:57,159 --> 00:26:58,918
Don't have to.
498
00:26:58,919 --> 00:27:02,918
You're still in your trial period,
you're on a verbal warning already.
499
00:27:03,319 --> 00:27:06,118
Leave now and I'll sack you.
500
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:10,118
Stay or go, it's up to you.
501
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:15,638
'Children thrive on routine,
502
00:27:15,639 --> 00:27:18,638
'but routine doesn't have to inhibit,
503
00:27:18,639 --> 00:27:21,558
'doesn't have to be a straitjacket.
504
00:27:21,559 --> 00:27:23,278
'A good routine can liberate a child.
505
00:27:23,279 --> 00:27:26,998
'Let the child establish
his or her own routine.
506
00:27:26,999 --> 00:27:30,998
'Allow them to take control
of their day.'
507
00:27:31,839 --> 00:27:33,158
Cilla?
508
00:27:33,159 --> 00:27:34,798
Cilla?
509
00:27:34,799 --> 00:27:38,078
Cilla?!
510
00:27:38,079 --> 00:27:39,438
Cilla!
511
00:27:39,439 --> 00:27:41,958
Cilla!
512
00:27:41,959 --> 00:27:45,958
CILLA!
513
00:27:50,479 --> 00:27:51,518
Cilla!
514
00:27:52,519 --> 00:27:53,878
Cilla!
515
00:27:53,879 --> 00:27:57,878
Cilla!
516
00:27:57,919 --> 00:28:01,918
Oh! Cilla!
517
00:28:02,079 --> 00:28:04,518
Oh! Hiya!
518
00:28:04,519 --> 00:28:08,518
Oh, hello, gorgeous! Oh!
519
00:28:10,279 --> 00:28:13,118
We should've locked up by now!
We're well past closing time.
520
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:17,118
I'm the manager. I'll decide when
it's time to lock up, all right?
521
00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:23,598
All right?
522
00:28:25,319 --> 00:28:28,278
Shouldn't you be doing something?
523
00:28:28,279 --> 00:28:31,278
Necking cheeky Vimtos
and rimming Akeeba?
524
00:28:31,279 --> 00:28:34,758
Work-wise.
525
00:28:34,759 --> 00:28:37,478
Right, go on... What?
526
00:28:37,479 --> 00:28:38,998
What?
527
00:28:38,999 --> 00:28:42,198
Just that thing you said about
how all management are wankers.
528
00:28:42,199 --> 00:28:43,798
You think I'm a wanker?
With a plastic star.
529
00:28:43,799 --> 00:28:45,518
Yeah, one more than you.
530
00:28:45,519 --> 00:28:48,478
Get the fuck dow... ooow!
531
00:28:48,479 --> 00:28:51,958
I said, on the fucking floor now!
532
00:28:51,959 --> 00:28:52,558
Get off me!
533
00:28:52,559 --> 00:28:55,718
Please don't!
No, I've got kids, don't!
534
00:28:55,719 --> 00:28:56,598
Frank?
535
00:28:56,599 --> 00:28:58,238
I've got family!
536
00:28:58,239 --> 00:29:00,798
Frank Gallagher?!
537
00:29:00,799 --> 00:29:04,478
Fucking hell!
538
00:29:04,479 --> 00:29:05,758
Shawy?
539
00:29:05,759 --> 00:29:07,158
Fucking hell!
540
00:29:07,159 --> 00:29:08,918
How are you doing, mate?
541
00:29:08,919 --> 00:29:11,398
Yeah, all right... you know. You?
542
00:29:11,399 --> 00:29:15,398
Yeah, yeah, fine.
543
00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:18,638
You work here, then?
544
00:29:18,639 --> 00:29:19,798
I'm the manager.
545
00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:21,598
Line manager! Shut it!
546
00:29:21,599 --> 00:29:24,278
Nice one! Yeah.
547
00:29:24,279 --> 00:29:27,558
I'm dead sorry, mate, but I'm
still going to have to rob the gaff.
548
00:29:27,559 --> 00:29:29,758
You understand, don't ya?
549
00:29:29,759 --> 00:29:33,758
Oh... yeah.
550
00:29:47,999 --> 00:29:50,758
Hey! Marty about?
551
00:29:50,759 --> 00:29:54,198
I don't know.
552
00:29:54,199 --> 00:29:55,638
Got you some chippies.
553
00:29:55,639 --> 00:29:57,518
Want a medal?
554
00:29:57,519 --> 00:29:59,238
Aidan!
555
00:29:59,239 --> 00:30:01,718
I'm sorry, I should... Aidan!
556
00:30:01,719 --> 00:30:05,718
Look, we'll do something nice
tomorrow. Anything you fancy.
557
00:30:06,119 --> 00:30:07,718
Fucking?
558
00:30:07,719 --> 00:30:09,758
Yeah, I tell you what, let's fuck.
559
00:30:09,759 --> 00:30:13,758
I've got a bit of money stashed,
let me know how much you charge.
560
00:30:14,359 --> 00:30:16,678
I'm in deep to a loan shark,
561
00:30:16,679 --> 00:30:18,878
our Amy's getting married next month
again,
562
00:30:18,879 --> 00:30:21,198
and Tony needs one of them
motorised wheelchairs.
563
00:30:21,199 --> 00:30:22,598
Paralysed himself tombstoning.
564
00:30:22,599 --> 00:30:24,718
Yeah, I heard.
565
00:30:24,719 --> 00:30:26,518
Fucking knobhead!
566
00:30:26,519 --> 00:30:28,198
Times are hard.
567
00:30:28,199 --> 00:30:31,238
You've done all right for yourself,
haven't you? Manager?
568
00:30:31,239 --> 00:30:34,958
A proper manager would have
locked up, emptied the tills,
569
00:30:34,959 --> 00:30:36,398
put the takings in the safe...
570
00:30:36,399 --> 00:30:36,958
Yeah, yeah...
571
00:30:36,959 --> 00:30:40,638
Shall I clip her?
Make it like an accident?
572
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:44,358
It's a joke.
573
00:30:44,359 --> 00:30:47,758
Hey, any jobs going here?
You could put in a word for us.
574
00:30:47,759 --> 00:30:48,758
For you?
575
00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:52,598
You could vouch for us,
my trustworthiness and that.
576
00:30:52,599 --> 00:30:56,318
Well, to be honest,
I don't think it's going to happen,
577
00:30:56,319 --> 00:30:57,678
not with you robbing us and that.
578
00:30:57,679 --> 00:30:59,158
Right.
579
00:30:59,159 --> 00:31:03,158
But, if you didn't,
if you left without that,
580
00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:07,278
then, you know,
I could... see what I can do.
581
00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:11,518
A bag of money versus a lifetime of
minimum wages working for wankers.
582
00:31:11,519 --> 00:31:14,718
Well, it pays time and half
at weekends,
583
00:31:14,719 --> 00:31:17,878
double on bank holidays
with a day off in lieu.
584
00:31:17,879 --> 00:31:19,158
You've convinced me!
585
00:31:19,159 --> 00:31:23,158
Oh, please don't, you're going to
get caught. There's CCTV cameras.
586
00:31:26,559 --> 00:31:29,078
Eyewitnesses.
587
00:31:29,079 --> 00:31:31,198
You wouldn't shop me, though,
would you?
588
00:31:31,199 --> 00:31:33,158
Well, he is the manager.
589
00:31:33,159 --> 00:31:37,158
You're not one of them, Frank.
You're one of us.
590
00:31:37,919 --> 00:31:38,958
I'm sorry, mate, I...
591
00:31:38,959 --> 00:31:40,278
Don't.
592
00:31:40,279 --> 00:31:44,278
I'm desperate.
593
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:54,838
I'll phone the police.
594
00:31:54,839 --> 00:31:57,241
No. It's my call.
595
00:32:08,021 --> 00:32:09,700
What the fuck is going on?
596
00:32:09,701 --> 00:32:13,280
Spinach soup - super food,
apparently.
597
00:32:13,284 --> 00:32:16,123
Are you pissed? It's the middle
of the fucking night!
598
00:32:16,163 --> 00:32:20,122
Cilla's decided she wants to get up.
599
00:32:20,123 --> 00:32:22,282
Tell her it's not time to get up,
like you always do.
600
00:32:22,283 --> 00:32:24,402
I can't!
601
00:32:24,403 --> 00:32:28,402
I'm giving her
"her own personal freedom,"
602
00:32:28,963 --> 00:32:32,722
she'll decide her own
sleep patterns.
603
00:32:32,723 --> 00:32:36,122
I can hear words coming out your
mouth, but they don't make any sense.
604
00:32:36,123 --> 00:32:37,522
I'm just trying to be a good mum!
605
00:32:37,523 --> 00:32:39,202
You are a good mum.
606
00:32:39,203 --> 00:32:41,082
I'm not, I never have been!
607
00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:45,082
And that little girl's
my last chance at it!
608
00:32:51,683 --> 00:32:55,682
I think you're a good mum.
609
00:32:58,923 --> 00:33:02,242
Look, I, I...
610
00:33:02,243 --> 00:33:05,162
What the fuck!
611
00:33:05,163 --> 00:33:07,122
Here's the branch manager.
612
00:33:07,123 --> 00:33:10,282
Look, I didn't want to bother you
late last night.
613
00:33:10,283 --> 00:33:14,282
We got turned over. I really wanted
to fight back but...
614
00:33:15,563 --> 00:33:19,562
they had guns!
615
00:33:20,003 --> 00:33:24,002
I didn't get a chance to get the
night safe with the paperwork and the...
616
00:33:24,123 --> 00:33:27,922
turn the CCTV cameras on and...
617
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:30,362
Why are the police here?
What's happened?
618
00:33:30,363 --> 00:33:34,362
Absolute fucking disaster.
619
00:33:35,763 --> 00:33:38,002
"Allow the child
to set his own parameters
620
00:33:38,003 --> 00:33:40,162
"within the boundaries
laid down by the parents."
621
00:33:40,163 --> 00:33:42,522
All right, that makes sense, kind of.
622
00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:43,842
So what stage is Connor at now?
623
00:33:43,843 --> 00:33:47,562
Stage five, but to be honest I think
we got stuck about stage two.
624
00:33:47,563 --> 00:33:50,402
"Failure to progress between stages
is a result of
625
00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:52,602
"a lack of parental reinforcement."
626
00:33:52,603 --> 00:33:53,882
She's got it covered.
627
00:33:53,883 --> 00:33:55,522
Yeah, there's some good stuff
in here.
628
00:33:55,523 --> 00:33:56,802
Is that right?
629
00:33:56,803 --> 00:33:57,842
"Every child has the potential
for greatness" and...
630
00:33:57,843 --> 00:33:59,842
Where's the chapter about drawing
cocks on the wall?
631
00:33:59,843 --> 00:34:00,922
Sorry?
632
00:34:00,923 --> 00:34:03,722
Well, what does the professor say
about drawing cocks on the wall?
633
00:34:03,723 --> 00:34:05,402
Mmm...
634
00:34:05,403 --> 00:34:09,042
"If you get stuck, go back to
the previous chapter."
635
00:34:09,043 --> 00:34:12,602
So, book after book,
you read it to the letter.
636
00:34:12,603 --> 00:34:15,202
And if it doesn't work,
it's not the book's fault,
637
00:34:15,203 --> 00:34:17,242
it's your fault
for not doing it properly.
638
00:34:17,243 --> 00:34:20,242
It's a scam. It's fucking foolproof!
639
00:34:20,243 --> 00:34:21,562
So, I don't have to finish the book?
640
00:34:21,563 --> 00:34:25,562
It's bollocks!
We have got a great kid, he's happy.
641
00:34:25,763 --> 00:34:28,842
He draws a few cocks on the wall,
so what?
642
00:34:28,843 --> 00:34:31,682
Thank fuck for that.
643
00:34:31,683 --> 00:34:34,602
That one's not actually bad.
644
00:34:34,603 --> 00:34:36,282
Attention to detail.
645
00:34:36,283 --> 00:34:37,442
Hm.
646
00:34:37,443 --> 00:34:38,162
Proportion.
647
00:34:38,163 --> 00:34:39,522
Mm-hm.
648
00:34:39,523 --> 00:34:41,442
Our son is a fucking genius.
649
00:34:41,443 --> 00:34:44,202
Hmm, is he!
650
00:34:44,203 --> 00:34:45,762
Well, I fucked a 15-year-old.
651
00:34:45,763 --> 00:34:49,522
He was dead nervy, it was all over
in about 30 seconds.
652
00:34:49,523 --> 00:34:51,122
And how old were you?
653
00:34:51,123 --> 00:34:53,162
14.
654
00:34:53,163 --> 00:34:55,802
Get it over and done with,
he'll be that embarrassed,
655
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:57,082
he won't bother you again.
656
00:34:57,083 --> 00:34:59,922
If you're worried about diddling me
out of my commission...
657
00:34:59,923 --> 00:35:03,922
I'm not. Oh, I don't know,
I can't just fuck Aidan.
658
00:35:04,443 --> 00:35:06,522
Why not?
659
00:35:06,523 --> 00:35:08,402
Apart from it being
register-signing-illegal?
660
00:35:08,403 --> 00:35:11,562
It just wouldn't be right,
it'd be like incest or summat!
661
00:35:11,563 --> 00:35:15,562
He's not your blood.
Fuck him and move on.
662
00:35:18,043 --> 00:35:22,042
Put me back on flipping burgers
and frying... fries.
663
00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:25,442
I want to get the Trafford Centre
outlet and I always get what I want,
664
00:35:25,443 --> 00:35:27,722
and whoever helps me achieve my
dream is going to end up
665
00:35:27,723 --> 00:35:29,082
running this place.
666
00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:32,362
Whoever helps you will end up
running this place?
667
00:35:32,363 --> 00:35:36,362
That's what I said.
668
00:35:37,483 --> 00:35:40,482
How we going to make target now?
669
00:35:40,483 --> 00:35:44,482
Cheryl, change of plan.
670
00:35:44,523 --> 00:35:47,682
What?
671
00:35:47,683 --> 00:35:51,682
Oh, don't.
I've tried to get shot of it.
672
00:35:52,163 --> 00:35:55,362
The only way I can get back on
the floor is by hitting the targets
673
00:35:55,363 --> 00:35:57,282
and getting fuckhead
to the Trafford Centre.
674
00:35:57,283 --> 00:36:00,482
That's never going to happen.
675
00:36:00,483 --> 00:36:04,482
That's a very negative attitude.
676
00:36:08,123 --> 00:36:09,162
Need a word with you.
677
00:36:09,163 --> 00:36:13,042
I'll give you more than a word,
sweetheart.
678
00:36:13,043 --> 00:36:16,442
Now.
679
00:36:16,443 --> 00:36:19,442
Are we going to... fuck?
680
00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:22,162
You better believe it, boy.
681
00:36:22,163 --> 00:36:26,162
If you're up to it.
682
00:36:38,523 --> 00:36:39,562
Get undressed. Now!
683
00:36:39,563 --> 00:36:43,562
What, now?
684
00:36:44,563 --> 00:36:48,562
Well, come on,
what're you waiting for?
685
00:36:48,923 --> 00:36:51,122
Come on, what's the matter with you?
686
00:36:51,123 --> 00:36:55,122
No, Kelly, stop!
687
00:36:55,243 --> 00:36:56,722
I don't want this.
688
00:36:56,723 --> 00:37:00,722
Well, what do you want?
689
00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:08,322
I want my mum!
690
00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:17,362
Mimi?
691
00:37:17,363 --> 00:37:21,362
Ssh! Cilla's asleep,
said she wanted to go night-nights.
692
00:37:21,603 --> 00:37:24,482
Can't disturb her...
693
00:37:24,483 --> 00:37:28,482
This isn't right.
694
00:37:29,083 --> 00:37:32,042
It's in the book, Karen,
so it must be right.
695
00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:36,042
I knew nothing before this book,
nothing at all.
696
00:37:36,043 --> 00:37:37,802
Mimi...
697
00:37:37,803 --> 00:37:38,842
Keep it down.
698
00:37:38,843 --> 00:37:42,282
I don't want Cilla hearing conflict.
699
00:37:42,283 --> 00:37:46,282
"A butterfly can't float
in a war zone."
700
00:37:46,683 --> 00:37:50,682
Mimi. You live on the Chatsworth!
701
00:37:51,323 --> 00:37:54,082
You're a drug dealing,
loan-sharking, kneecapping Maguire.
702
00:37:54,083 --> 00:37:58,082
There is no spring meadow
for a fucking butterfly to float!
703
00:37:58,083 --> 00:38:01,042
This is an instruction manual
on how to live your life,
704
00:38:01,043 --> 00:38:05,042
that's all. It's just ideas
and most of them are bollocks!
705
00:38:05,403 --> 00:38:09,122
No, Karen, right.
706
00:38:09,123 --> 00:38:11,562
I nearly lost Cilla yesterday.
707
00:38:11,563 --> 00:38:15,562
I was reading the book, in the park,
I looked up and she'd gone.
708
00:38:17,843 --> 00:38:20,762
Now, I could've lost my mind,
709
00:38:20,763 --> 00:38:23,922
thinking she'd been snatched by
some paedo, but...
710
00:38:23,923 --> 00:38:25,642
Or, if you hadn't been reading
the book,
711
00:38:25,643 --> 00:38:27,682
and doing what you usually do
with Cilla,
712
00:38:27,683 --> 00:38:29,802
watching her, playing with her,
713
00:38:29,803 --> 00:38:32,962
being with her, none of it
would've happened, full stop.
714
00:38:32,963 --> 00:38:36,882
You've been a mother seven times
over. You know what you're doing.
715
00:38:36,883 --> 00:38:37,922
Jamie doesn't think so.
716
00:38:37,923 --> 00:38:41,922
Course he does.
Look, he was just looking after me.
717
00:38:42,003 --> 00:38:44,242
He's turned out all right,
hasn't he?
718
00:38:44,243 --> 00:38:47,442
Look, so what, you might not be
the greatest mother in the world.
719
00:38:47,443 --> 00:38:51,442
Who is? We're all winging it,
aren't we?
720
00:38:54,563 --> 00:38:57,282
I'm not your mum.
721
00:38:57,283 --> 00:38:59,002
No.
722
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:03,002
So, when I let you down, you thought
you'd put me in my place.
723
00:39:04,083 --> 00:39:08,082
Just some prozzie who crashes here.
724
00:39:09,203 --> 00:39:10,882
Not really us, though, is it?
725
00:39:10,883 --> 00:39:14,882
Mother and son or fuck buddies?
726
00:39:15,243 --> 00:39:19,242
We've got something different.
727
00:39:21,803 --> 00:39:25,802
I can't promise that I'll be here
for you, not all the time.
728
00:39:27,043 --> 00:39:31,042
I've got work, Marty, mates,
got a million other things.
729
00:39:32,963 --> 00:39:35,202
But I'll try.
730
00:39:35,203 --> 00:39:39,202
I'll try harder to be better.
731
00:39:40,043 --> 00:39:42,802
Hey! That's a big thing for me
to say.
732
00:39:42,803 --> 00:39:45,042
Nod.
733
00:39:45,043 --> 00:39:49,042
Say thank you.
734
00:39:49,403 --> 00:39:51,362
But you've got to try an' all.
735
00:39:51,363 --> 00:39:54,362
You've got to start seeing me
as something other than
736
00:39:54,363 --> 00:39:58,362
just a prostitute.
737
00:39:59,683 --> 00:40:03,682
Now come on,
let's go get twatted at The Jockey.
738
00:40:04,723 --> 00:40:08,002
You wouldn't really have done it,
would you? Shagged me?
739
00:40:08,003 --> 00:40:12,002
You'll never know, will ya?
740
00:41:10,403 --> 00:41:12,602
What're you doing, Shane?
The house stinks.
741
00:41:12,603 --> 00:41:16,122
You're going to be the first
to see it.
742
00:41:16,123 --> 00:41:19,242
See what?
743
00:41:34,643 --> 00:41:38,642
Little bit of atmos.
744
00:41:39,683 --> 00:41:43,682
What do you think?
745
00:41:43,723 --> 00:41:47,722
City's 1970 European
Cup Winners' Cup squad.
746
00:41:48,083 --> 00:41:52,082
Franny Lee, Neil Young,
little Colin Bell.
747
00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:57,802
I'm going to sell 'em to the
National Football Museum in town.
748
00:42:02,323 --> 00:42:06,242
Colour that chart in, add a zero
to the figures and then bingo...
749
00:42:06,243 --> 00:42:08,682
you're away.
750
00:42:08,683 --> 00:42:12,682
Well, nobody knows exactly how much
money was robbed!
751
00:42:15,883 --> 00:42:19,882
Head office'll think I've hit
targets, insurance pays out,
752
00:42:19,883 --> 00:42:22,202
and I get to the Trafford Centre.
753
00:42:22,203 --> 00:42:24,002
Everybody's happy.
754
00:42:24,003 --> 00:42:24,762
Everything OK?
755
00:42:24,763 --> 00:42:28,762
Yeah! We've just had a little chat,
me and Cheryl!
756
00:42:30,323 --> 00:42:33,442
She's a pretty good sounding board
for a couple of ideas of mine.
757
00:42:33,443 --> 00:42:37,082
And, it looks like...
758
00:42:37,083 --> 00:42:39,762
She's on her way to running
this place.
759
00:42:39,763 --> 00:42:41,482
Really?
760
00:42:41,483 --> 00:42:44,122
Yeah. I'm sorry, Frank.
761
00:42:44,123 --> 00:42:48,122
Come on, Cheryl. Paperwork to do!
762
00:42:58,603 --> 00:43:02,602
Cheer up. Have some pakora.
763
00:43:09,843 --> 00:43:13,842
Hang on - we don't sell pakora.
764
00:43:16,603 --> 00:43:20,242
Peace offering?
765
00:43:20,243 --> 00:43:24,242
Karen says I was a bit hard on you,
and she's right. I'm sorry.
766
00:43:25,243 --> 00:43:28,002
I'm sorry, an' all.
767
00:43:28,003 --> 00:43:30,202
The second you think you know
all the answers
768
00:43:30,203 --> 00:43:34,202
is the second you fuck it all up.
769
00:43:34,963 --> 00:43:38,042
She does a good job cos she's scared
of getting it wrong.
770
00:43:38,043 --> 00:43:41,042
Yeah, well, she's usually bang on.
771
00:43:41,043 --> 00:43:44,442
Whoa, whoa! There's no need
for that! It'll fit through.
772
00:43:44,443 --> 00:43:46,682
Flip it on its side...
773
00:43:46,683 --> 00:43:50,282
You were right.
It is the wrong colour.
774
00:43:50,283 --> 00:43:53,282
99 times out of 100, anyway.
775
00:43:53,283 --> 00:43:55,402
We know parenting's hard.
776
00:43:55,403 --> 00:43:58,482
The wee man kicks off every time
I try to brush his teeth.
777
00:43:58,483 --> 00:44:01,522
He'll thank you for it one day.
778
00:44:01,523 --> 00:44:05,522
Yeah well, I never thanked you.
So...
779
00:44:08,003 --> 00:44:10,722
Thank you.
780
00:44:10,723 --> 00:44:12,682
For brushing your teeth?
781
00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:14,762
Yeah, Mam, for brushing me teeth.
782
00:44:14,763 --> 00:44:17,842
Don't know what you're thanking me
for, they're green and manky.
783
00:44:17,843 --> 00:44:19,082
Yeah, well, that's your fault
784
00:44:19,083 --> 00:44:21,042
for buying me sweets
after visiting the dentist.
785
00:44:21,043 --> 00:44:23,442
Er, a reward for being brave.
786
00:44:23,443 --> 00:44:25,482
Er, mixed messages.
787
00:44:25,483 --> 00:44:26,802
That's my fucking cat.
788
00:44:26,803 --> 00:44:28,962
Was your cat. Didn't want it,
did ya?
789
00:44:28,963 --> 00:44:31,322
Er, that was years ago.
790
00:44:31,323 --> 00:44:33,562
Stuff we didn't know
that we know now!
791
00:44:33,563 --> 00:44:35,122
Like sugar rots your fucking
teeth, Mam!
792
00:44:35,123 --> 00:44:36,922
You had one fucking chance!
793
00:44:36,923 --> 00:44:40,002
I'm not a fucking dentist!
It's not fucking rocket science, is it?!
794
00:44:40,003 --> 00:44:41,962
You were a little twat
when you were little!
795
00:44:41,963 --> 00:44:43,482
I was four!
796
00:44:43,483 --> 00:44:47,002
'Like it or not, we're always
learning something.
797
00:44:47,003 --> 00:44:49,642
'Someone wants to teach you a lesson
798
00:44:49,643 --> 00:44:51,682
'and put you on a steep
learning curve,
799
00:44:51,683 --> 00:44:55,282
'but one day you've got to ask -
when's the fucking exam?
800
00:44:55,283 --> 00:44:58,482
'I'm sick of being taught lessons -
I just want to be!
801
00:44:58,483 --> 00:45:01,002
'That's all - be!
802
00:45:01,003 --> 00:45:05,002
'My name is Katherine Harmonica Joy
Mimi Tutton, and I'm a fuck up.
803
00:45:07,003 --> 00:45:11,002
'But so are you and you and you.
804
00:45:11,283 --> 00:45:13,722
'We're all fucked up,
none of us are perfect,
805
00:45:13,723 --> 00:45:15,162
'and none of us know everything,
806
00:45:15,163 --> 00:45:18,322
'and when we all finally
fucking learn that
807
00:45:18,323 --> 00:45:21,842
'as our big, fuck-off, last lesson,
808
00:45:21,843 --> 00:45:25,842
'we'll all be able to get on
living life and have a great time!'
809
00:45:26,483 --> 00:45:28,762
She's been investing it
in kinky boots.
810
00:45:28,763 --> 00:45:29,602
Gloria, we've got a house guest.
811
00:45:29,603 --> 00:45:30,762
Gloria.
812
00:45:30,763 --> 00:45:32,682
That was your mother?
813
00:45:32,683 --> 00:45:34,362
The money. I spent it!
814
00:45:34,363 --> 00:45:36,162
Three and a half grand?!
815
00:45:36,163 --> 00:45:37,562
I've bought something.
816
00:45:37,563 --> 00:45:40,402
It's hard. Very hard. Suck me cock!
817
00:45:40,403 --> 00:45:42,442
Tickle me balls! No, leave!
818
00:45:42,443 --> 00:45:43,202
This is...
819
00:45:43,203 --> 00:45:44,562
Brenda.
820
00:45:44,563 --> 00:45:46,242
Brenda is Lillian's slave.
821
00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:48,042
You two should think of getting one.
822
00:45:48,043 --> 00:45:49,202
I found a lump.
823
00:45:49,203 --> 00:45:50,682
Which one is it?
824
00:45:50,696 --> 00:46:30,610
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
825
00:46:32,323 --> 00:46:34,842
So no news from the
National Football Museum, then?
826
00:46:34,843 --> 00:46:36,562
No, not a sausage, funnily enough.
827
00:46:36,563 --> 00:46:38,642
You know what they say, though,
don't you?
828
00:46:38,643 --> 00:46:42,362
One man's loss
is another man's profit.
829
00:46:42,363 --> 00:46:45,922
You bastard.
830
00:46:45,923 --> 00:46:52,122
Five pound, your Museum Of Pop,
five pound!
831
00:46:52,172 --> 00:46:56,722
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