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1
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:08,116
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,670
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,116
they were given by him upstairs
4
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,431
and kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:23,435
What sounds on earth could
ever replace kids needing money
6
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,476
or wives in your face?
7
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:29,235
Cos this, people reckon -
and me included - is why
8
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:34,633
pubs and drugs were kindly
invented - to calm us all down,
9
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,995
to stop us going mental.
10
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:41,517
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,071
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:49,914
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,438
Imagine a Britain without
Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,876
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,794
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,155
Make poverty history!
17
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,832
Cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,070
Hey, hey, hey!
19
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,275
Scatter!
20
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,713
Party!
21
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:21,199
(Monica) A very important
business person once said,
22
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,748
if you do nothing in life,
23
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,513
well, then you become nothing.
24
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,953
You have to get out there
and make it happen.
25
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,838
Come to think of it, it was
someone off The Apprentice.
26
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,469
They got fired
in the first week, but...
27
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,152
you get the point, don't you?
28
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,037
It's up to you to get what you want.
29
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,270
If all you want in life
is to be needed,
30
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,555
then you have to
make yourself needed.
31
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,155
Look out for people - help them
when they're struggling.
32
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,913
Always try to do the right thing.
33
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,514
Or, the best way to get people
34
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:03,196
to want, need and love you
is to just stop short.
35
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:08,673
From Marilyn Monroe
to Kurt Cobain, just...stop...short.
36
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,356
Always...always leave them
wanting more.
37
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,233
- Debbie! Stella.
- No way!
38
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,038
My washer's broke!
39
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,599
Again?!
40
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,631
- Liam!
- On me way.
41
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,472
Maxine, Carl - towels!
42
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,233
It's like being on Ward 3C
all over again.
43
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,709
- Maternity?
- Geriatrics.
44
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,995
Norma!
45
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,833
Fucking noise in this place!
46
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,036
Oh! Quick, let us through!
47
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,669
Can't you shit in a carrier bag
in the yard, you fucking tinker?
48
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,715
I'm not here for the bog.
49
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,075
Washer's broke.
Sorry we disturbed you.
50
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,229
Where are you going?
51
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,833
Jockey.
52
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,638
No, but I made you breakfast!
53
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,149
That's what we're gonna be talking
about today - storage and shelving.
54
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,559
So let's get down to it.
55
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,035
We're gonna start off
with panel boards.
56
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,634
These pine panel boards,
put these together,
57
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,836
will come in
at round about £7.50...
58
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,751
- Shit off!
- Watch it, lad.
59
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,119
What've you dug that out for?
60
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,237
Me and Kell are making
us own porn, aren't we?
61
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,878
Who'd wanna watch you two at it?
62
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,632
We'll make a fortune!
63
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,518
A picture is worth a thousand words.
64
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,592
Make more than your
shit toss stories, anyway.
65
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,716
Argh! I'll fucking kill ya!
66
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,315
Pack it in, you two.
Stop arsing about!
67
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,628
Paddy.
68
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,399
Hiya! Sorry to...
69
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,391
What the fuck you doin',
marching in here?
70
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,710
Well, it was on the latch.
71
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,516
Sorry, I didn't mean
to be any bother.
72
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,478
I just wanted to drop this in.
73
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,358
Well, it is today, isn't it?
74
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,759
Yeah, it is.
75
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,195
Thought so. Here you are.
76
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:21,231
"Past is history, future's a mystery,
present's a gift."
77
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,591
That's what it should've said.
I'm not very good at icing.
78
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,477
Thanks. It's dead nice of you, that.
79
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,949
And, don't worry,
I made it with raspberry jam,
80
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,190
cos I know Paddy
doesn't like strawberry.
81
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,753
Is he around?
82
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,832
- Any minute now.
- Right.
83
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,468
Well...
84
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,710
I'd best leave you to it.
85
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,033
Shall I chuck it?
86
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,838
Don't be so ungrateful!
87
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,638
Take it over there.
88
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,790
And if you drop it,
I'll fucking drop you.
89
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,277
Dad'll be back, I know it.
90
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,396
Course he will -
it's our anniversary.
91
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,994
He'd walk across broken glass
and swim seven seas
92
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,470
and fucking sprout
fucking wings if needs be.
93
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:13,993
He'll be here.
94
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:24,638
Come on, will ya! I've got
a throat like a nun's chuff here.
95
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,598
Whatever happened to
the 24-hour drinking culture?!
96
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,033
Broken fucking dreams!
97
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,789
CHEERING
98
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,314
Thank fuck for that!
Come on, Luther, let us get past.
99
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,152
- Sorry, Frank.
- What?
100
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,514
Invited guests only.
101
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,717
Private fucking function?
It's pissing down here!
102
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:52,032
Oh, now it all adds up, dunnit?
Yeah, fucking Maguire conspiracy!
103
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,192
We're not gonna take it!
This is our pub. We want it back!
104
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,590
Come on, are you with me?
Come on, are you with me?
105
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,916
Yeah, fuck off, will you, spaceman.
106
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,152
I couldn't get his lighter.
107
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,071
Oh, never mind. You got his fags!
108
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,111
Ta-da! I heard the Jockey
was gonna be closed.
109
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,235
You heard right.
110
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,439
I thought... we could share 'em.
111
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,875
You know what thought did, don't you?
112
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,872
Fucking hell!
113
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,237
Freemasons, golfers, magicians -
fucking Magic Circle cunts!
114
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,470
Think they can just
put up a little sign
115
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,391
saying "private" and that's it.
116
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:26,828
They've got carte fucking blanche
to spend all night fisting each other!
117
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,478
Private fucking function!
118
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,232
Wedding anniversary, innit?
119
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,754
Yeah, Mandy's put us
on the guest list.
120
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,068
Guest list?
121
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:40,679
'... take you,
Francis Vernon Gallagher...
122
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,797
'to be my lawful, wedded husband.'
123
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,633
PANICKED GASPING
124
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,068
It's a free bar.
125
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,388
HE MOUTHS SILENTLY
126
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,268
- Where you off out?
- What's it got to do with you?
127
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,830
Shopping. You want owt?
128
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:02,909
Fags.
129
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,831
You can't get what I need.
130
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,868
You want something, you.
131
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,511
Whatever it is,
you're not getting it.
132
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,149
Out! Salga!
133
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,117
Come on, get the fuck out now!
134
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,759
Argh!
135
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:43,515
You fucking madman!
136
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,794
What the fuck...
137
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,031
Get the fuck away from the car!
Do you want your bag? Su bolsa?
138
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,111
Desea su bolsa?
139
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,432
How long have you been in there?
140
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,956
Are you listening to me?
141
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,759
Are you fucking listening to me? Eh?
142
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,831
Who the fuck are ya?
143
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,958
Cap!
144
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,349
Oh! Oh, yeah!
145
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,238
Oh! Ooh!
146
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,478
FUCK!
147
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,071
Oh!
148
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,469
Oh, for fuck's sake!
149
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,709
Hang on a sec.
150
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:39,994
Oh...
151
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,230
Ah... Oh!
152
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,471
Ah! Ooh! Ooh!
153
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,630
SCREAMS LIKE
A NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN
154
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,870
Ah! Ah! Ah!
155
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,428
AH! AH! AH!
156
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,711
I could've been done for smuggling
or trafficking, whatever it is.
157
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,916
You hid... a kid.
158
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,114
INAUDIBLE
159
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:17,949
MOUTHS
160
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,714
You hid a fucking deaf kid
in the car!
161
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,438
What am I supposed to do with him?
162
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,953
Peg? Peg!
163
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,151
Leave me alone.
164
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,196
Read my lips and...
165
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,193
Look, Danny...
166
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,829
Your Auntie Peg asked me
to take you to your granddad's house.
167
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,233
Fuck this.
I just meant to bring the car back.
168
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,958
I didn't sign up for this.
169
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,599
Do you think you can buy me?
170
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,675
Come on.
171
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,438
Oi. Oi! Oi, Danny!
172
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,080
Oi, what you doing?
173
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,599
That's the last one.
174
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,750
- No.
- But...
175
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,196
I do have another
little something for you.
176
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,190
Oh, yeah?
177
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:46,512
Whatever it is you want,
you're not getting it.
178
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,950
PANTS FURIOUSLY
179
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:58,993
You're not getting it!
180
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,911
You're still not having it.
181
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,032
That's it.
182
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,552
GROANING
183
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,635
♪ We're the very best at being bad
184
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,598
♪ We're the very best
at being bad... ♪
185
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,675
You all right there, darlin'?
186
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,348
No!
187
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,953
No.
188
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,679
Must be all right -
you gave it to me.
189
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,433
PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
190
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,833
Sssh, sssh, sssh! Shush now.
191
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,673
Please, stop.
192
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,671
I can't.
193
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,432
I can't, not any more.
194
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,919
I just...
195
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,319
Please!
196
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,799
Stop.
197
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,317
It's OK. It's OK.
198
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,312
I think it's time.
199
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,998
Time to stop.
200
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:26,755
♪ Ooh-hoo
201
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,432
♪ Nobody knows it
202
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,232
♪ When I was down
203
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,276
♪ I was your clown
204
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,793
♪ Right from the start
205
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,791
♪ I gave you my heart
206
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:44,635
♪ Oh-oh, I gave you my heart... ♪
207
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:45,914
Where the fuck is Dad?
208
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,310
Still in Spain is my bet.
He'll be having a great time.
209
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,879
Well, he needs to be here.
210
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,030
If only for her sake.
211
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,550
- Thank you! Cheers.
- Thank you.
212
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,598
Thank you very much. Our next number
is one of my favourite songs...
213
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,877
- Don't Go Breakin' My Heart!
- Not again.
214
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,188
Again!
215
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,919
CHEERING
216
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,349
Guest list only.
217
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,749
It's all right, he's with me.
I didn't mean...
218
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,319
Just a bottle, please, Karen.
219
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,073
♪ Don't go breaking my heart
220
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,479
♪ I couldn't if I tried... ♪
221
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,597
My very own John Holmes!
222
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,553
Shane?
223
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,037
- That's the end!
- The wardrobe.
224
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,033
Little bastard!
225
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,439
I'll kill him.
226
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,919
Die!
227
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,993
PANTING AND MOANING FROM UPSTAIRS
228
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,998
I want a word wi' you!
229
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,797
ALARM BLARES
230
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,758
Suspected shoplifter
moving down escalator. Over.
231
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,559
(Man) Could you give us a description?
Over.
232
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,234
Suspect is heavily pregnant teenager.
233
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,630
Black skirt, grey top, black jacket.
234
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,433
'Scuse me, love. 'Scuse me!
235
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,193
Help! My baby!
Someone's taken my baby!
236
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,078
- It's all right!
- I turned round and she was gone!
237
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,628
- What's she look like?
- Um... A baby!
238
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,711
- Pram?
- Yeah.
239
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,836
What colour? Quickly!
240
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,592
Black. Er... bluey,
241
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,591
greeny, reddy?
242
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,519
Libby, where are you?
243
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,556
OK, come on. Come on. Come on.
244
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,071
MOANING AND PANTING
245
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,310
I'm sorry.
246
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,756
I just wanted to know
what everyone's doing,
247
00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,389
you know, when they go
to their bedrooms and...
248
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,040
MOANING AND PANTING FROM UPSTAIRS
249
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,351
Right, well, I'll best be
getting back to the Jockey, then.
250
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,396
I'll catch you up.
251
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,517
As soon as we've had a little chat
about the birds and the bees.
252
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,629
MOANING AND PANTING
253
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:22,350
Let me have it. Hey, Frank?
You gonna let me have it?
254
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,750
- What is it? What do you want?
- Do you want me, Frank?
255
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,068
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
256
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,513
Say it.
257
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,149
I fucking want you, Monica Gallagher!
Yeeaaahh!
258
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,591
Oh, don't stop. Don't stop, Mon!
What you stopped for? Whoa!
259
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,114
Whoa! What the fuck? Monica!
260
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,760
If you have all your sweets at once,
you'll be sick.
261
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,432
You what?
262
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,076
Always leave 'em wanting more!
263
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,397
- It must be on the other camera.
- This is the other camera.
264
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,994
- We'll have to call the police.
- No!
265
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,559
Thank you.
266
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,477
Hiya.
267
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,437
I'm from next door...
268
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,550
We've got a party to get to!
269
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,753
GIGGLING
270
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,038
What you doing?
271
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,712
Letting the sunshine in!
272
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,156
- You're mental.
- I'm not mental!
273
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:12,153
He's a kid. You're trying
to seduce a poor little kid.
274
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,309
I wasn't trying to...
275
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,312
Hey, Mrs Mental,
curtsy before your queen,
276
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,914
Queen Mental of the...
fucking mentalists!
277
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,595
Oh, that's it, run away.
278
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,873
I am not running away.
279
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,474
I've got a party
to go to at the Jockey.
280
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,790
Why didn't you say so?
281
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,476
Have you got hollow legs
or something?
282
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,513
Cheeky twat.
283
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,235
I what?
284
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,791
I talk? Speak?
285
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:06,032
I speak sign. Do I speak sign?
286
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,998
Why? Because I understand that?
287
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,198
Come on, I got big plans.
288
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,350
I made big plans tonight.
289
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,595
Yeah, great, I win again.
That's another 500 quid you owe me.
290
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,713
You nutter.
291
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,354
MUSIC: Insomnia by Faithless
292
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,273
You all right?
293
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,518
TURNS VOLUME UP
294
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,034
You've been dreaming.
D'ya fall off a wall?
295
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:55,076
And she says to the guy, "I'm here
about the clit-licking frog."
296
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,913
And the guy turns around and goes,
"Bonjour, madame!"
297
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,479
LAUGHTER
298
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,833
Hey, can you sing
Over The Hills And Far Away?
299
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,719
I usually only like
that opera singer with cancer
300
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,119
but this has grown on me.
301
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,952
It's Paddy's favourite song.
302
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,713
♪ Cos nobody showed us... ♪
303
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,916
TOILET FLUSHES
304
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,193
There you are.
305
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,312
- Y'all right?
- Yeah. You?
306
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,879
Yeah.
307
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,919
- D'ya think Dad's all right?
- Yeah, he's all right.
308
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,798
How do you know?
309
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,474
I'd have heard if he'd been
kidnapped, tortured,
310
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,870
beaten or murdered.
I would hear these things.
311
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,873
- So what is it, then?
- Another woman?
312
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,749
- Happens all the time.
- Not to these two, it don't.
313
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,831
They're solid as a rock.
314
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,559
You don't...
315
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,871
- He worships you.
- Could be another woman.
316
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,995
Probably not, though, eh?
317
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,873
There you go.
318
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,396
Car and grandson delivered
safe and sound.
319
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,749
Thank you.
320
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,278
Thank you?
321
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,996
No problem, mate.
You take care of yourself, yeah?
322
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,273
Danny! Oi!
323
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:11,475
Oi!
324
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,994
Danny, how do you say goodbye?
325
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,509
Are you Mormons?
326
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,028
- No.
- You look like Mormons.
327
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,518
Are you sure you're not Mormons?
328
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,431
Yeah, I'm pretty sure, yeah.
329
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,112
We don't want Mormons round here.
330
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,988
Maybe her at number 28
will let you in
331
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,516
but stay away from mine, number 16.
332
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,592
And don't bother number 14 either.
333
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,831
They've got a backward kiddy
living with them.
334
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,390
And there's no point in
him knocking on there -
335
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,392
the old fella that lived there
died last week.
336
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,670
- Your tea.
- Thanks.
337
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,551
- All right, Mon?
- Going for a bath?
338
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,200
Aye. Running late an 'all,
with the washer.
339
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,395
Off anywhere nice?
340
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:31,792
Just the Maguire do at the Jockey,
you know? Are you not going?
341
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,598
Haven't been invited.
342
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,272
Just turn up. You'll be all reet.
343
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:38,113
I'm sure nobody'll
notice you anyway.
344
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,793
What was that for?
345
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,433
Old times.
346
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,629
Well, you'd best go and get ready.
347
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,073
See ya!
348
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:06,669
CHEERING
349
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,309
Thank you very much.
Right then, we've now reached
350
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,914
a very special point
in the celebrations.
351
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,355
Oh, yes. Let's get
the happy couple up here.
352
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,797
Come on, let's hear it
for Mimi and Patrick!
353
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,270
Here she is! Come on.
354
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,510
Here she is, darling.
355
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,397
She's a little cracker!
356
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,597
Brace yourself, Mimi.
We've got a little surprise for you.
357
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,836
CHURCH BELLS RING ON VIDEO
358
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,435
So where's the lucky fella, then?
Where is he?
359
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,351
Don't be shy, Patrick!
360
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,476
Where are you, Patrick?
361
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,075
SOBS
362
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,593
That's not the angle
WE filmed it from.
363
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,159
Who else would have filmed us?!
364
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,475
Ah.
365
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,591
He wouldn't have done it on his own.
366
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,716
Who else would have helped him?
367
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:21,998
Proper dirty.
368
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,676
I was only having a laugh! I was gonna
give you a cut and everything.
369
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,159
Shane, please!
370
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,157
I'm getting a headache.
371
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,473
What time is it?
372
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,071
Shall we?
373
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,390
There's no point staying here.
374
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,398
Where is everybody?
375
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,594
We could take it all.
376
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,275
Yeah, if we could walk
through locked doors.
377
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:28,670
Every single thing.
We could fill your house with it!
378
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,910
DOOR OPENS
379
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,433
Quick, someone's coming!
380
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,799
Off out?
381
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,632
Just getting some bread.
382
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,153
OK.
383
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,112
See you later, kid.
384
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,639
♪ Home is where the heart is
385
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:50,356
♪ I'm so glad you found your way
386
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,957
♪ And should you find yourself
in disarray
387
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,358
♪ I've got a place in my heart
where you can stay
388
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:12,391
♪ I made a space in my heart
where you may want to lay ♪
389
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,315
Hello?
390
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:33,834
Hello?
391
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,433
Lan!
392
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,954
- Yeah! You all right?
- I knew you'd come back.
393
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,679
I'm only here for a couple of days.
394
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,955
- This is Danny.
- All right.
395
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,996
He's deaf.
396
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,071
I've got an Xbox.
397
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,311
There's a deaf girl in our school.
398
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,233
Wanna kill some zombies?
399
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,432
Where is everyone?
400
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:05,999
The Jockey.
401
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,435
Course.
402
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,592
Except Debbie -
she's gone shopping with Max.
403
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:13,955
Who?
404
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,476
And Mum - she's nipped out
for some bread.
405
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:24,788
Bread?
406
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,552
KNOCKING
407
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,399
Hang on!
408
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,109
- Lan? What are you doing here?
- I heard you banging.
409
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,474
In lbiza?
410
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,118
Monica's gone.
411
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,394
Gone?
412
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,756
Get everyone from the pub.
Tell 'em Monica's gone for bread.
413
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,193
Go on, quick!
414
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:53,993
Mimi...
415
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,559
Monica...
416
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,596
She wouldn't just go
like that, not again.
417
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,796
Wonder if it's a bird
or a fella this time.
418
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,155
CRIES
419
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,472
Past is history, future's a mystery.
420
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,915
She's not fit to be called a mother.
421
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,071
Well, we all knew
she'd fuck off again.
422
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:41,275
Ssh!
423
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,315
He needs to be told!
424
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,551
What, like Deaf Boy needs
to be told his granddad's dead?
425
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:46,629
BABY CRIES
426
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,472
What am I supposed to do,
just tell him?
427
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,118
"Good luck, Danny. Fuck off."
428
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,633
It's what you did to us.
429
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,790
Piss off!
That's completely different.
430
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:58,396
It's good that you're back, kid,
you know, for... Stella and that.
431
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,916
I'm not staying, and I'm not gonna
be stuck here looking after kids.
432
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,355
- But I should?
- They're your kids!
433
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,874
What was that for?!
434
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,992
He said Mum's gone.
435
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,191
- And you told him?
- His granddad's dead.
436
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,588
Danny!
437
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,713
Danny! It's all right.
It's all right.
438
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,279
It's all right.
439
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,073
It's all right.
440
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,519
Come here.
441
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,511
Wouldn't it be great
if all the clothes in here were ours?
442
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,194
Lt'd be like the best thing
in the world ever.
443
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:55,558
Yeah, but when and where
would we wear any of it?
444
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,757
Down the Jockey
or outside the chip shop?
445
00:32:58,840 --> 00:32:59,795
Mmm.
446
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,348
It's just all so...
447
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,352
- Not us?
- Yeah, it's not us.
448
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,192
Well, someone must like this stuff.
449
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,950
Someone does.
450
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,914
I don't want to see you
here again, all right?
451
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,638
Don't worry, you won't.
452
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,958
Has anyone ever told you
453
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,678
- you look like one of the Sugababes?
- No.
454
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:31,829
Well, you do.
455
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,070
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
456
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,913
If you went a little bit higher
with your blusher,
457
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,638
you'd get more definition.
458
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,517
Max!
459
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,431
LAUGHTER
460
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,595
Did you know?
461
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,193
'Kin' hell!
462
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:57,918
- Did ya?
- What?
463
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,116
Paddy and Monica. Did you know?
464
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,431
- Paddy and Monica?
- They're together, aren't they?
465
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,195
Paddy... and Monica?
466
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:10,071
Paddy and Monica?
467
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,829
Paddy and Monica?!
468
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,793
I'm not coming in. I can't.
469
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:34,556
I fly back out tomorrow and...
I don't want to do this, sorry.
470
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,474
I've got to get off, be myself -
no responsibility, you know?
471
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:47,119
Yeah, you did that. You might
well look sheepish, you twat.
472
00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:51,195
What?
473
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,714
I'll call your auntie
and tell her what happened.
474
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,950
You take care of yourself,
all right?
475
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,155
Yeah, and you!
476
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:08,788
Yeah, whatever.
477
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:10,518
Whatever.
478
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,196
She's always been a bit...
479
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,633
Ioose.
480
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,715
I think she had a thing with
the midwife when Carl was born.
481
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,916
Paddy.
482
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,560
Paddy had a "thing" once...
483
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,792
...before we were married.
- But you were together?
484
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:41,915
Yeah.
485
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,629
I don't think he even kissed
this other girl or anything...
486
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:48,280
but he...
487
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:49,952
he thought about it.
488
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,195
He swore to me he wasn't interested
in her, but I smelt it on him.
489
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,030
Then I said to him,
"You ever think about it again,
490
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,078
"think about another woman,
491
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,392
"then I just want you to go with her.
Don't ever come back, just go."
492
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,159
He's not with Monica.
493
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:16,795
How d'you know?
494
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,870
I bet she'd want to be with him,
but Paddy wouldn't want to be with her.
495
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,393
You're a woman.
496
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,591
Monica's a child.
497
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,276
ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
498
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:16,157
Oh aye, where the hell
have yous two been, eh?
499
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:17,559
Er... shopping.
500
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:20,679
Did we miss anything?
501
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,149
No.
502
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,915
(Screaming) NO-O-O-O!
503
00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:43,196
BABY CRIES
504
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,588
I'm that hungry I could eat me face.
505
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:54,551
Chips!
506
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:55,595
Leave it, Carl!
507
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,433
- It's mine, Norma!
- It's the last slice.
508
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,272
There's never any bread!
509
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,793
Airport, yeah?
510
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,351
LOUD MUSIC ON RADIO
511
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,079
Can you turn it down, mate?
512
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:23,354
'Scuse me!
513
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:05,715
Danny?
514
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,955
Not that you can hear me...
515
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,479
What am I supposed to do?
516
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,034
Fuck!
517
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,309
FUCK!
518
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,915
What the fuck are you doing,
you mental bastard?!
519
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,878
You completely shit me up.
520
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,629
I thought you were fucking dead,
you dickhead.
521
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,995
Yeah, you're a dickhead.
522
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,916
I can guess what that means.
What are you doing?
523
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,228
A bath?
524
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,311
What, lying under water?
525
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,508
Safe? You feel safe?
526
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,758
Get dressed.
I'll get you something to eat.
527
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:43,873
You're welcome.
528
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,232
You're welcome?
529
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,597
You're welcome?
530
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,793
It's not for ever, d'you understand?
531
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,598
I spoke to your Aunty Peg,
532
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:04,276
and as soon as she can get someone
to take over from me, I'm off, OK?
533
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,318
I don't want to be stuck with you
for the rest of my life.
534
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,670
You don't want to be stuck with me?
535
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,113
You're such a twat.
536
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,995
Liam!
537
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:32,513
On me way.
538
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,477
BABY CRIES
539
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,034
Y'all right there?
540
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,838
- All right, kid?
- Yeah, I am now.
541
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,549
Whoa, whoa, whoa, give us a break.
I've had a right night of it.
542
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,279
Yeah, and morning!
Where've you been?
543
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:53,754
Erasure?
544
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,637
CHEERING
545
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,072
Nowhere.
546
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,630
She's had her breakfast and lunch.
Just needs her nappy doing.
547
00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:08,917
Aw, I'm shattered,
can someone else do it?
548
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,315
What are you skriking at?
549
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,877
(Monica) We all want to be remembered
after we've gone, don't we? '
550
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,598
Good night.
551
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,555
And if you haven't got anyone
who'll put a plaque on a bench for you,
552
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,631
then you've got to work harder.
553
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,272
You've got to learn
to do the right thing.
554
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:08,038
Care for people, help them.
555
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:14,759
Cos if you don't...
556
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:19,311
Then maybe no-one
will remember you.
557
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,198
Ah, you filthy fuck, you.
558
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,711
Go on, get the fuck out.
I'll kick your arse, you filthy git.
559
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,349
COUGHING
Go on, get the fuck out!
560
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,876
CAR HORNS TOOT
561
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,038
CHILDREN SING
562
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,509
♪ We could've been anything
that we wanted to be
563
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:08,832
♪ But don't it make
your heart glad... ♪
564
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:10,797
SCREAMS
565
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,229
♪ We're the very best
at being bad... ♪
566
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,476
Maybe no-one will care
if you lived or died.
567
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,039
SEAGULLS CRY
568
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,712
Do your bit,
569
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,951
make yourself worth something
and then get out quick
570
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,553
before they take the piss.
571
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,189
And always, always...
572
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:45,989
leave 'em wanting more.
573
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,555
PANTING
574
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,119
Oh! Oh!
575
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,317
Oh! Oh! Oh!
576
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:40,919
Oh! Oh!
577
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,956
Ohh!
578
00:46:43,006 --> 00:46:47,556
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