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1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,572
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,174
Come and watch pikeys making a mess
3
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:11,855
of the lives they were given by
'im upstairs...
4
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,898
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,095
Wicked!
6
00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,499
Piss off!
7
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,368
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:24,497
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,935
Cos this, people reckon -
me included -
10
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,488
is why pubs and drugs
11
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,172
were kindly invented...
12
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,774
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
13
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:38,570
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
14
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:44,815
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes...
15
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,379
You sit on our head,
16
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,133
but... you pay the taxes.
17
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,619
CHEERING
18
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,373
Imagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
19
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,691
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
20
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,259
Eh!
21
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,094
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:07,049
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
23
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,459
CHUCKLES
24
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,169
Scatter! Party!
25
00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:22,294
(Monica) 'lt's a funny idea,
the genes passing through you.
26
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:24,371
'One generation to the next,
27
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:27,736
'like little instruction manuals
to the future,
28
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,380
'on how to make another one
that's got your eyes,
29
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,690
'or your... way with words.'
30
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,374
Come to my baby shower. Have a laugh!
31
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:38,577
'It's like you're all in
a great long conga line,
32
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,935
'your mum and dad behind you... '
33
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:42,976
Want one? ...Tosser!
34
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:46,973
'Your kids out in front,
and their kids in front of them.'
35
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:51,133
Baby shower, for me. For us.
List of what I want.
36
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:54,769
'Until maybe, one day,
one of them's such a minger,
37
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:56,532
'no-one wants to mate with 'em.'
38
00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:58,690
Baby shower, Nerys... for me.
39
00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:06,778
'That's never gonna happen
with my lot, though.
40
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,818
'Parents like Frank and me,
41
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,016
'they don't know how lucky they are.'
42
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,092
Here you go, Karen.
43
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,569
Baby shower. For me.
44
00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:22,730
I thought baby showers were supposed
to be arranged by your mates.
45
00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:25,129
Well, don't want to
stand on ceremony, do I?
46
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,654
Might not have
the actual party, though,
47
00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:30,459
it's gonna be a bit pricey, but you
can drop your gift off any time...
48
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:31,893
Did that woman find you?
49
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,379
What woman?
50
00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:35,735
She came in this morning asking
for you so I gave her the address.
51
00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,094
What did she want?
52
00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:38,818
She left her stuff here and all.
53
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,698
We nearly exploded it, I thought
it was a fuckin' bomb.
54
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:44,340
Joan Dallimore. Mean anything?
55
00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:50,137
Mum?
56
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:53,648
No. Nothing at all.
57
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,416
Come on, love, it's not far. I'll show you.
58
00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:13,050
You go down this road here,
and it's on the left-hand side,
59
00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:15,096
you can't miss it. OK?
60
00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:17,171
Oi!
61
00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:19,933
No fuckin' way, give that back...
62
00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:21,373
Do one!
63
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,412
You're not having that and all.
64
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,211
Get off! Go on!
65
00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:39,690
Hey, listen up, I've had a great idea.
66
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,611
Why don't we all go out?
67
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,897
Go out for a picnic or something, hey?
68
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:46,459
We've just had lunch.
69
00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:48,337
And anyway, look, me and Mandy
are making you a baby blanket.
70
00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:50,570
Oh, you don't have to bother with that.
71
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,571
You're not gonna get anything
else from your baby shower!
72
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:54,139
- Frank! Dead to the world.
73
00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:58,013
Well, all right, then, I'll go on my own.
74
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,136
DOORBELL RINGS
75
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,653
Mum...
76
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:04,448
(Debbie) Who is it?
77
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:05,939
DOORBELL RINGS
78
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,898
It's taken me ages to get here.
79
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:18,618
I've been up and down and round,
80
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:21,931
I've been all over the fuckin' place.
Look at my hair.
81
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:23,089
Sorry, do we know you?
82
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,419
It's all right, Debbie. I do.
83
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:29,774
Hello, Mother.
84
00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:33,133
Awful place.
85
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:37,179
Where's me handbag? Anyway, in we go.
86
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:47,768
Now, don't forget, dinner's in the freezer.
And if...
87
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:51,091
It's fine, just go and have a good time.
88
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,694
Yep, adios, amigos.
89
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,248
Manana, Costa del Sol, hey?
90
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:05,256
Right, that's it. Can't leave these two
in charge of the house,
91
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,774
out of our tiny fucking minds.
92
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:10,738
Paddy, you promised me this holiday.
93
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:17,492
- Have a good one!
- Hasta la vista!
94
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:18,649
See ya!
95
00:05:18,740 --> 00:05:20,059
A week.
96
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:22,893
A fuckin' week!
97
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:28,728
Come on!
98
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,255
We can get dressed up
in Mum's clothes.
99
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,456
We can smoke in the bog
with the door open.
100
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,770
We can have a party!
101
00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:38,772
Get the gear! It's in the cabinet.
102
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:46,976
Do I look like a fuckin' numpty?
103
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:51,777
How're we gonna have a fuckin' party
with no gear?
104
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,417
You've aged, Monica.
105
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,092
WATER SPLASHES
106
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,135
We both have.
107
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:02,017
Piling on the weight again?
108
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,249
She's pregnant.
109
00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:06,377
I've never known what to do
with her, stay off the cakes,
110
00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:08,018
that's what the doctor said.
111
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:11,536
You should trim down,
like this one, what are you, size 8?
112
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:15,249
Aged 10, she was a 14. She had
puffy knees, because of the weight.
113
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:19,299
I took her to the doctor's,
he said, "self-inflicted",
114
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,575
that's what he said.
Where's me handbag?
115
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:25,175
You could see it in the way
she walked, wasn't nice.
116
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,332
If you'd fed me more than
a lettuce leaf from time to time,
117
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:31,492
I wouldn't have had to stuff
myself with sweets, would I?
118
00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,298
She were fat as a whale.
119
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,336
And then off she goes and abandons me.
120
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,411
- You threw me out.
- I never threw you out.
121
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,968
- You charged me rent.
- That's fair enough.
122
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,539
I were ten.
123
00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:46,853
Then back she comes, tits akimbo,
nothing but lies.
124
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:50,615
He-he, you've aged,
you've started piling on the weight again.
125
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,817
Did you come back for something,
or do you just want another row?
126
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,778
I've come to see you, haven't I?
127
00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:58,418
What's in here?
128
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,968
Oh, I say, that's not right, is it?
GLASS JARS TINKLE
129
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:07,536
Yvonne. I just saw the crime report,
why didn't you phone me?
130
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:10,851
I can't come crying to you every time, can I?
131
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:13,693
I just rung 999,
some officers dealt with it.
132
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:15,691
- Look, let me see that...
- No.
133
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:20,094
If you're too nice to me, I might...
134
00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:22,973
I don't know.
135
00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:29,409
Just so bloody hard sometimes.
136
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:33,180
Shop, and kids...
137
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:36,412
...trying to get by.
138
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,970
You need a man in your life, Yvonne,
someone to look after you.
139
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,409
Are you making a pass at me, Stan?
140
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:55,052
Go on, Stan. Yeah. That's it.
141
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:07,733
Debbie. Debbie!
142
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,014
Who's downstairs?
143
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,170
Joan. Mum's mum.
144
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,531
Well, what does she want?
145
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,053
She says she come to visit.
146
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,892
I thought she was murdered
by a jealous lover in Rio.
147
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,535
(Fuck.)
148
00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:30,935
(What the fuck is she doing here?
149
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:34,012
(I don't know!
Will you tell her to go, please?
150
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:38,776
(We don't wanna... antagonise her, do I? We...
151
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:39,849
(Why not?
152
00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:42,408
(That's all she's ever done to me.
153
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,219
(And you're the one that's refused
to see her for God knows how long.
154
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:47,609
(Yeah, but I... I... )
155
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,334
SIGHS
156
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,092
(Look, we don't want any trouble.)
157
00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:55,374
...All right, Joan, love?
158
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:58,850
Nice to see you, just saying,
stay as long as you like.
159
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,298
So, er, how've you been?
160
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:06,098
I'm fine, thanks.
161
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:09,377
Looking good. As always, I mean...
162
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,369
She can have Debbie's room, can't she?
163
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:19,012
You don't mind sharing with Mandy...
a few nights, do you?
164
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,092
Yeah, so, do you need any help
with your bags, Joan?
165
00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:23,659
Thanks.
166
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:25,332
Titanic finally docked yet, or what?
167
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,570
Oh, no! I'm travelling light.
168
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,378
What are you talking about?
169
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,815
You've left your bags in the pub,
I've already seen 'em.
170
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,219
Eh? Did I?
171
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:38,212
You don't have to pretend.
I don't know what you're doing,
172
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:41,133
but you're not doing it here,
you are going home.
173
00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:43,450
I'm not. I'm not.
174
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,531
I'm not going there, he's wrong.
175
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:48,088
I don't know what he meant.
176
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,850
Alzheimer's? I haven't got Alzheimer's.
177
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:57,252
I'm not going, I'm here with you,
I'm not going in no home,
178
00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:59,331
I'm staying here.
179
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:01,855
SHE SIGHS
180
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:08,059
Managed to get hold of a neighbour.
181
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:10,938
Turns out she'd burned her flat down.
182
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:12,738
Fucking hell!
183
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:16,096
Yeah, she were that confused,
someone called a doctor.
184
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,853
He diagnosed Alzheimer's,
185
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:23,058
booked her into a care home,
so she's done a runner.
186
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:26,928
Oh, but, well, yeah, that's good news, innit?
A care home - job done!
187
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:29,898
Write me off that quick as well,
would you, Frank?
188
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:32,448
You've got to phone the Social, Mon.
189
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,974
There's no choice, is there?
190
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,214
What could we do?
191
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:41,019
You were the one that said
she could stay in the first place.
192
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,853
Well, that was just to please...
Just... Oh...
193
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,333
Oh, I don't know.
194
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:58,330
What the fucking hell's she waiting for?
195
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,936
Hiya, love.
196
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,455
I just thought I'd come and see if you were...
197
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:35,019
WHISTLES
Oi!
198
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,295
I'm not paying you to miss bits.
199
00:11:39,140 --> 00:11:42,655
Mate of mine in the motor trade
wants three ringers nicking,
200
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:44,253
- 100 quid a pop.
- That's 300 quid.
201
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:48,618
And how much gear d'you
think we'll get for that, eh?
202
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,373
Can I come in on that?
203
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,179
I can help nick cars. What we getting?
204
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:57,889
A smack round the fucking head,
you don't shut up and finish me car.
205
00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:59,459
HAWKS AND SPITS
206
00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:03,373
Little shit!
207
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:10,939
All right, Mandy.
208
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:13,090
Yeah, I just...
209
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:16,775
Eh? What about old Joan, eh?
210
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:20,170
How much do you think
she can remember,
211
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,171
you know, then, of things.
212
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:24,137
I'm not a doctor, Frank. Dunno.
213
00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:27,815
A lot about the past, but recently...
214
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:29,811
Oh, right, so...
215
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,017
Like sort of 20ish years ago, would she?
216
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,091
Dunno. Maybe.
217
00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:38,138
Why? What did you do, Frank?
218
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:40,211
What, I? Me? Nothing.
219
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,733
No, I'm just, y'know...
220
00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:47,133
Just about concern about Monica. Just...
221
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:50,257
Oh, fucking... I Can't ask
a fucking question round here
222
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,251
without the fucking third degree!
223
00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:55,013
For God's sake, Mum,
stop following me around!
224
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,055
You're not leaving me?
225
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:57,334
I'm just going out for a minute.
226
00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:59,012
- I'll come with you.
- Oh!
227
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,215
You all right?
228
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:03,098
Get away from us! Fuck off!
229
00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,613
Get back where you came from!
230
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:05,655
You fucking what?!
231
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:09,096
Norma, this is me mum.
She's got Alzheimer's.
232
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:10,499
I don't give a shit what she's got.
233
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,377
Norma? Norma?
234
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,849
I know that name. I know that name.
235
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:16,976
Norma is a friend of mine.
236
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:19,096
A friend of yours? Is she?
237
00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:22,695
She's not? Is she that poofter?
238
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:27,171
Auntie Peg said there was a poofter.
She never said she was coloured.
239
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:28,852
Are you gonna let her get
away with that, Monica?
240
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,453
I don't know what to bloody do!
241
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:34,613
You've always got to be different.
You've always got to shock.
242
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:35,655
Who are you?
243
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:38,652
Get away from us!
Get back where you came from!
244
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:40,856
My name is Norma.
245
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,057
Norma? I know that name.
246
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,574
It's like talking to a bloody goldfish.
247
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:51,973
Frank, love, will you take her for me
...before I start to self-harm?
248
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:55,897
Eh, come on...
249
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:57,936
No fucking chance, sunshine.
250
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,735
You all right, bird?
251
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:12,694
Where is she?
252
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:15,135
Locked her in the wardrobe.
253
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:16,778
Frank's taken her to the pub.
254
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:20,933
Oh! I think I prefer the wardrobe.
255
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,738
So what are you gonna do, Mon, eh?
256
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,334
You don't have to put up
with this shite, you know?
257
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:27,980
One phone cal!
And she's out of your hair.
258
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,493
Fucking payback.
259
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:32,458
Payback? Why? What for?
260
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:36,453
Mon's dad fucked off
when she was about four.
261
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:40,135
From that moment on,
Monica couldn't do a thing right.
262
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:45,449
She used to leave me
on my own all night,
263
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:47,735
said she couldn't stand me.
264
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,617
Used to cry myself to sleep.
265
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:54,820
Then Joan got herself
a bloody bastard boyfriend, Dennis,
266
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,698
whose shite smelt of roses.
267
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:04,094
Turns out has his hands up Monica's skirt
every time the lights go off.
268
00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:06,136
I didn't want her to know that, Norma.
269
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:08,780
Well, she's old enough.
270
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:13,138
That woman was an evil old hag
to your mother.
271
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,257
I should know.
I've got the therapy bills to prove it.
272
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:18,490
Why didn't you say anything?
273
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,694
If he groped you,
274
00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:25,135
you should have just told her.
275
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,415
I did.
276
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,855
She called me a liar,
277
00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,738
said she wished she'd never had me.
278
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:37,820
You don't have to forgive her, Monica.
279
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,773
Yvonne?
280
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:58,138
Pull your trousers up, come on.
281
00:15:58,220 --> 00:16:01,098
Oh, you are in. I thought
you weren't cos the door...
282
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:03,733
What the fuck happened to you?
283
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:05,378
Erm...
284
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:09,096
This? I got done over yesterday.
285
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:11,057
Stan were just...
286
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:12,971
- (Kid) I'm starving.
- Now, come on. Two at a time!
287
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:17,417
Yvonne, do you fancy
going on a, y'know?
288
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:18,899
- Right, let's be having you.
289
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:21,494
(Kid) I only want a packet of crisps.
Fine, I'm leaving.
290
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,490
(Yvonne) What we got here then?
291
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:25,253
Well, I'll see you then, Yvonne.
292
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:33,375
Jesus Chr...!
293
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,736
You seen the state of the stockroom?
294
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:39,015
Yeah. It's just...
295
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,818
It'll be our bloody Chesney.
296
00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:44,500
Well, I hate to tell you this, Yvonne,
297
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,333
but I think he's been having sex in there.
298
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:50,492
- I can smell it.
- No!
299
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,256
I'm gonna fucking kill him!
300
00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,373
This one's on the house.
301
00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:03,974
Ooh!
302
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:08,053
So, how's the old grey matter then, Joan?
303
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:10,449
Fancy a quiz?
304
00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:13,288
Somebody must have done.
305
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,170
Yeah. So who's the Prime Minister then?
306
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:19,814
No?
307
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:23,575
Yeah, you're right, who cares.
You heard of the first moon landing?
308
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:24,456
Eh?
309
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:28,579
Mm? Neil Armstrong, Buzz Lightyear.
310
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,173
How many legs has a donkey got?
311
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:33,457
What am I drinking?
Where's your handbag?
312
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,216
Shot to fuck, aren't you, kid?
313
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,768
Can't remember a sodding thing.
314
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:41,896
Happy fucking days!
315
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:44,733
Oh, who's your girlfriend there, Frank?
316
00:17:44,820 --> 00:17:45,775
Oh, no.
317
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:51,339
This, Lillian, is Monica's mum, Joan.
318
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,456
Say hello, Joan.
319
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,451
No, I'm not his girlfriend.
320
00:17:55,540 --> 00:18:00,375
Except once, on Monica's birthday,
we had sex.
321
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,459
But it's a secret.
322
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:11,376
(Frank) Oh, come on!
323
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:14,452
Well, I mean...
324
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,658
She's fucking... tonto, in't she?
325
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:20,890
What? I mean... I mean...
326
00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:22,254
Oh!
327
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:26,379
Right, now, listen up,
328
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:27,939
Mum,
329
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:30,853
just to clarify,
330
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,408
what you just said
331
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:38,335
didn't happen. If it did - if -
332
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:42,015
then it was a mistake,
333
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:47,220
cos I would have been drunk and you...
334
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,256
You were just
335
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:53,094
a wicked old witch who wanted
whatever your daughter was getting.
336
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:55,216
Ooh, this takes me back!
337
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,972
MUSIC: Young Hearts Run Free
by Candi Staton
338
00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:58,015
Ohh!
339
00:18:58,100 --> 00:18:59,977
Ooh, dance with me, Frank.
340
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,652
No, Joan, I...
341
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,093
Dance with me!
342
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:09,099
Only if you keep your fucking mouth shut.
343
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:22,219
Stan, I'm beginning to think you've
got some kind of eating disorder.
344
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,053
Cos that's the third meal that
you haven't touched in two days.
345
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,539
I'm in love with Yvonne.
346
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,896
No, I don't think I heard you right there.
Did you say?
347
00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:37,450
I'm. In. Love. With. Yvonne.
348
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:41,651
D'you mean...
349
00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:43,492
Yvonne Yvonne?
350
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:45,810
"Scary Yvonne in the shop" Yvonne?
351
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,290
Put it back or lose your dick.
352
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,215
Well, there's a thing!
353
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:58,339
Trouble is, I just don't know
if it's the same for her.
354
00:19:58,420 --> 00:19:59,899
I mean,
355
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,732
she's definitely interested.
356
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:04,732
That's it, Stan! Yeah!
357
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:08,290
But when I hinted at us both
going out together, she...
358
00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:12,410
I think I got the brush-off.
359
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:15,219
Well, if you're sure
that this is definitely
360
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,894
what you want...
361
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,892
well, you'll just have to go in there
and ask her straight.
362
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:23,619
No messing. Kill or cure.
363
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,418
Yeah.
364
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,889
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
365
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:30,778
I'll just go in there and I'll ask her.
366
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,289
Yvonne?
367
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:50,369
Yvonne, I want to ask you something
and I really need you to... Whoa!
368
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,219
D'you wanna go out with me one night?
Down The Jockey or...
369
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,415
Stan, I don't drink.
370
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,968
Well, dinner, then, or a film or...
371
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:05,769
I want to go on a date with you
instead of just having sex.
372
00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:07,054
We're friends, aren't we?
373
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,415
Well, that's all right, isn't it?
374
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,809
Look...
375
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,174
Stan, me and you...
376
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:16,332
I mean, I don't know if I were
just reacting to t'stress
377
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:18,138
of being attacked or summat.
378
00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:21,418
I mean, you're a lovely man.
379
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:24,212
You're just...
380
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,335
Yeah, not boyfriend material.
381
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:27,376
I didn't say that.
382
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:29,098
What are you saying, Yvonne?
383
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,815
It's all right.
384
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,333
I understand.
385
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:38,335
I won't trouble you again.
386
00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:40,138
Stan, don't be like that!
387
00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:41,858
- Stan!
388
00:21:56,860 --> 00:21:58,851
Here y'are, there's one.
389
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,697
Golf GTi.
390
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,372
And it's a V plate.
391
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:19,339
CAR ALARMS BLARE
392
00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:23,018
Fuck!
393
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:27,218
Leg it! Come on!
394
00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:36,459
CAR ALARMS BLARE IN DISTANCE
395
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:37,973
- Whoo!
396
00:22:38,060 --> 00:22:41,257
Lovely boys! Come here.
397
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:44,696
You what? That's like shagging me gran!
398
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,498
You come here. Come on.
399
00:22:46,580 --> 00:22:48,935
- Come on!
- What you doing?
400
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:50,976
Wanna fuck? Give you all a blow job!
401
00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:54,416
Get back to your home, slapper!
402
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:55,489
- Mother!
403
00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:57,298
Get off me! Get off me, bitch!
404
00:22:57,380 --> 00:23:00,292
- Get inside!
- Get off me!
405
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:03,611
Ow! Oh, Frank, come and help me.
406
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:05,816
Get off me!
407
00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:08,209
You were supposed to be
looking after her. Ow!
408
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:09,653
Mother, you're hurting me!
409
00:23:09,740 --> 00:23:12,254
Why d'you do it?
410
00:23:12,340 --> 00:23:14,535
Stop it! I've made up my mind.
411
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,258
You're going in that home!
412
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:18,012
Ughhh! Oh!
413
00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:22,655
Oh, God.
414
00:23:22,740 --> 00:23:25,208
SOBBING
415
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,530
Where's me handbag?
Where's me handbag?
416
00:23:27,620 --> 00:23:30,976
Oh, what's in your sodding handbag?!
417
00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:43,694
How many fucking sleeping pills
does she need?
418
00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:47,659
That's enough to put an elephant out.
419
00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:49,537
(Joan) I'm not going in no home.
I'm not going.
420
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:53,533
See, I've found another way.
421
00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:56,578
I just need to find me daughter first.
422
00:23:57,660 --> 00:24:00,652
- I need to find me daughter.
423
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,731
Ohh...
424
00:24:02,820 --> 00:24:06,699
SHE WEEPS
425
00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:19,374
What were those things?
Those things I've lost?
426
00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:20,449
It was something important.
427
00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:22,531
You haven't lost anything, Mum.
428
00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:23,689
It's not here.
429
00:24:25,860 --> 00:24:29,375
Oh, I see, you've...
430
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:32,213
Well, I'm not gonna
wait for your help, am I?
431
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:33,858
Oh...
432
00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:39,378
Oh, a lady in the milk jar
was telling me where to fish.
433
00:24:39,460 --> 00:24:41,769
HE LAUGHS
Yeah, right.
434
00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:46,855
(Monica) Oh, don't laugh. Don't laugh at her.
435
00:24:46,940 --> 00:24:48,771
Come on, Mum.
436
00:24:48,860 --> 00:24:54,457
- We're going out.
We need to spend some time together.
437
00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:57,771
There you go, there's your bag.
438
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:59,851
(Monica) Come on. Buy you a coffee.
439
00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:01,817
(Joan) And can we have some cake?
440
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:03,777
(Monica) And some cake, yes.
441
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:05,373
DOOR SLAMS
442
00:25:29,340 --> 00:25:33,015
Here y'are. It says here,
if you lift t'car up from t'front,
443
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:34,215
it thinks it's being towed.
444
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:35,938
Alarm still goes. I've tried it.
445
00:25:36,020 --> 00:25:37,897
(Fuckl)
446
00:25:37,980 --> 00:25:39,299
All right?
447
00:25:39,380 --> 00:25:41,974
What the fuck are you so happy about?
448
00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:44,895
Here we go.
449
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:01,695
That's the one you wanted,
isn't it? Golf, V plates?
450
00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:04,613
How the fucking fuck?
451
00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:08,168
Wasn't there no alarm on it?
452
00:26:08,260 --> 00:26:09,978
I dunno. Didn't look.
453
00:26:10,060 --> 00:26:11,937
ALARM BEEPS
454
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:15,259
Yep, there is.
455
00:26:18,340 --> 00:26:20,376
Keys.
456
00:26:20,460 --> 00:26:22,530
You're cutting me in on the deal, then?
457
00:26:26,340 --> 00:26:30,174
So if they're paying 100 quid a car,
458
00:26:30,260 --> 00:26:33,536
I say we split it 75/25 in my favour.
459
00:26:33,620 --> 00:26:35,338
On your fucking bike!
460
00:26:35,420 --> 00:26:37,809
I'm the one who knows
how to nick 'em, so...
461
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:41,688
(Imitating Noel Edmonds)
...deal... or no deal?
462
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:47,819
Yeah, all right, then. Seems fair.
463
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,892
- Mickey, can I have a word...
- No, no, let's just give it...
464
00:26:50,980 --> 00:26:53,335
Mickey, we won't have enough
for a fucking party, will we?
465
00:26:53,420 --> 00:26:54,899
Yeah, we will.
(Mouths) Trust me.
466
00:26:56,540 --> 00:27:00,613
Four cars, but you've got to get
all of them before you get paid.
467
00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:01,655
I thought it was three.
468
00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:03,458
Yeah, well, it's four.
469
00:27:05,060 --> 00:27:07,972
All right.
470
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,095
What's up next, then?
471
00:27:09,180 --> 00:27:10,932
Beemer soft-top, V plate,
472
00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:14,376
or a Renault Clio three-door
Dynamique 804, take your pick.
473
00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:16,928
What do those ones look like again?
474
00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:37,457
You all right, mate?
475
00:27:37,540 --> 00:27:39,451
Hey, kid.
476
00:27:39,540 --> 00:27:41,929
Hey, look at me.
477
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:45,012
You all right? Huh?
478
00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:46,055
Talk to me.
479
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:48,176
What's the matter?
480
00:27:48,260 --> 00:27:50,251
Can you hear me? Hello?
481
00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:53,616
I'm gonna pick you up,
take you out of the road.
482
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:00,012
Oi! Hey!
483
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,250
Come here, you little shit!
484
00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:10,968
What I'm saying is,
if you really had wanted to,
485
00:28:11,060 --> 00:28:12,459
you know, with them pills,
486
00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:15,179
then you'd have done it already,
wouldn't you?
487
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:18,058
Instead of coming to me.
488
00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:22,531
So I think, deep down...
489
00:28:23,940 --> 00:28:25,976
...you know that going into a home...
490
00:28:26,060 --> 00:28:28,574
I never liked my daughter,
d'you know that?
491
00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:31,094
I told her once, I wish I'd never had her.
492
00:28:31,180 --> 00:28:34,172
- But Mum, let's not...
- I never told her why, though.
493
00:28:36,780 --> 00:28:38,816
Why?
494
00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:40,572
Why didn't you like her?
495
00:28:40,660 --> 00:28:42,616
Because she looked like him,
496
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:45,578
like her father.
497
00:28:45,660 --> 00:28:47,378
Yeah...
498
00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:51,055
The only man I ever loved.
499
00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:52,698
Ee, I loved him.
500
00:28:55,780 --> 00:28:58,738
But, one day...
WHISTLES
501
00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:01,414
CHUCKLES RUEFULLY
502
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:03,411
Never made no sense.
503
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:06,412
I cried and cried,
504
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,298
but he wouldn't come back.
505
00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:12,452
And there she was still,
506
00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:14,656
every day,
507
00:29:14,740 --> 00:29:17,857
looking at me with his eyes...
508
00:29:20,180 --> 00:29:23,411
...ripping me heart out.
509
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:27,254
Cos every time I looked at her,
all I could see was him.
510
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:31,778
My boyfriend
511
00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:34,215
used to touch her - Dennis.
512
00:29:35,820 --> 00:29:38,459
I'd wake up in the night, find him gone.
513
00:29:38,540 --> 00:29:43,978
I knew what he was doing,
but... I never stopped him.
514
00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:45,573
I wanted her punished.
515
00:29:48,980 --> 00:29:51,050
Oh...
516
00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:55,019
Do you think she could forgive me?
517
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:57,933
Because I need her to.
518
00:29:58,020 --> 00:30:01,649
You know, I need to clean it all before I go.
519
00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:09,928
BMW.
520
00:30:13,260 --> 00:30:16,252
And Renault Clio.
What d'you need for the last one?
521
00:30:16,340 --> 00:30:20,333
Oh, Lada Riva, D-reg.
522
00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:22,775
Some loser wants one.
523
00:30:22,860 --> 00:30:24,054
Here y'are.
524
00:30:26,820 --> 00:30:29,050
All right.
525
00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:35,972
D-reg Lada?
526
00:30:36,060 --> 00:30:40,292
Exactly. He'll hunt a month of
fucking Giro days for one of them.
527
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:44,214
- They've all gone to scrap.
- You fucking genius.
528
00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:45,494
LAUGHS
529
00:30:47,380 --> 00:30:51,089
- Frank?
- Mmm...
530
00:30:51,180 --> 00:30:55,139
Would you do something for me
if I asked you?
531
00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:58,610
Oh... No, I'm busy...
532
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:01,772
I don't mean now. I mean... in general.
533
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:05,853
If it's about them salsa classes...
534
00:31:05,940 --> 00:31:09,376
No, not that! I mean if it
was something really important.
535
00:31:09,460 --> 00:31:11,451
- You won't get any sense out of him.
536
00:31:11,540 --> 00:31:14,259
Stupid git's taken some of
your mum's sleeping pills.
537
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:15,898
Ohh!
538
00:31:15,980 --> 00:31:19,609
I just need to know if it's ever right
539
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:23,978
to do something for someone
that they want,
540
00:31:24,060 --> 00:31:26,858
even if other people
might think it wasn't?
541
00:31:26,940 --> 00:31:32,617
Look, I know how low people
with Alzheimer's can get.
542
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:35,737
But helping your mum
with those pills...
543
00:31:35,820 --> 00:31:39,813
Well, unless you want to end up
in Strangeways with half my family,
544
00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:41,174
you'll leave it alone.
545
00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:47,809
ALARM SOUNDS NEARBY
546
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:50,289
(Norma) Surprised Stan's not been in today.
547
00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:52,814
What? Stan Stan?
548
00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:54,413
Goofy Stan?
549
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:57,094
Stan "turns everything
into slapstick" Stan?
550
00:31:57,180 --> 00:32:02,049
Well, usually, but you know he caught
the blokes who robbed you, don't you?
551
00:32:02,140 --> 00:32:03,334
- Aye.
552
00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:07,379
Got right stuck in, I heard.
I thought he'd be in to tell you about it.
553
00:32:07,460 --> 00:32:09,610
No.
554
00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:11,099
No, he didn't.
555
00:32:11,180 --> 00:32:12,932
I reckon he fancies you.
556
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:16,296
Perhaps he didn't want
to make a big deal of it.
557
00:32:16,380 --> 00:32:20,612
- He's all right, though?
- Oh, aye. Think so.
558
00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:23,089
Anyway, even if he did fancy me,
559
00:32:23,180 --> 00:32:25,489
that whole friendship thing,
it never works, does it?
560
00:32:25,580 --> 00:32:30,176
I don't know.
Always seemed like a good basis to me.
561
00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:33,172
You know, someone to get on with,
have a laugh.
562
00:32:33,260 --> 00:32:36,172
Bottom line is,
if he were that fucking interested,
563
00:32:36,260 --> 00:32:39,218
he'd be here, wouldn't he,
kicking down me door,
564
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:40,972
not taking no for an answer?
565
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:44,769
You know, faint heart never won
fair fucking lady and all that!
566
00:32:44,860 --> 00:32:49,695
I need a man who's my equal,
someone who's gonna stand up to me.
567
00:32:49,780 --> 00:32:52,533
Aye, righty-ho, then.
568
00:32:52,620 --> 00:32:53,689
- That's me done.
569
00:33:08,140 --> 00:33:11,098
VOICES TV, PEOPLE LAUGH
570
00:33:50,380 --> 00:33:52,575
Do you know where it is?
571
00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:55,936
What is it I've lost? Me handbag?
572
00:33:56,020 --> 00:33:58,853
It's something important.
Where's me handbag?
573
00:34:00,460 --> 00:34:01,893
It's here, Mum.
574
00:34:01,980 --> 00:34:03,698
Oh...
575
00:34:23,140 --> 00:34:26,769
Now then, I've spoken to your daughter...
576
00:34:26,860 --> 00:34:28,293
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
577
00:34:28,380 --> 00:34:32,259
...and she says...
578
00:34:32,340 --> 00:34:37,460
She says she can't change the past,
much as she might want to.
579
00:34:39,740 --> 00:34:43,255
And she says she can't forgive you.
580
00:34:51,180 --> 00:34:53,899
But she says that
581
00:34:53,980 --> 00:34:55,652
hearing you admit...
582
00:34:57,260 --> 00:35:00,570
...that you knew
what your boyfriend was doing, well...
583
00:35:02,580 --> 00:35:04,218
...that's a start.
584
00:35:08,980 --> 00:35:10,652
And I think...
585
00:35:13,260 --> 00:35:15,296
I get the impression that...
586
00:35:18,060 --> 00:35:21,097
...despite everything...
587
00:35:21,180 --> 00:35:24,377
your daughter loves you very, very much.
588
00:35:45,380 --> 00:35:48,053
- Hey, Mum, look, I've finished.
- It's lovely, Debbie.
589
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,253
In a bit.
590
00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:04,452
Norma, would you pop upstairs
and wake Mum?
591
00:36:04,540 --> 00:36:05,689
- I'll go.
- No!
592
00:36:05,780 --> 00:36:08,499
Norma, would you?
593
00:36:08,580 --> 00:36:12,778
But if she starts on us again,
I'll wake her with a fucking cattle prod.
594
00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:18,573
- Joan?
595
00:36:18,660 --> 00:36:20,537
- KNOCKING ON DOOR
596
00:36:20,620 --> 00:36:22,053
- Joan?
597
00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:27,973
- Monica...
598
00:36:32,020 --> 00:36:34,250
I think you'd better come up.
599
00:36:46,060 --> 00:36:48,016
She's taken an overdose, Mon.
600
00:36:50,580 --> 00:36:52,810
Probably best thing for her, like...
601
00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:54,538
what with everything.
602
00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:58,012
I'll call an ambulance, eh?
603
00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:11,458
Oh, fucking hell...
604
00:37:13,660 --> 00:37:15,093
You all right, kid?
605
00:37:21,820 --> 00:37:23,253
Tell you what...
606
00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:27,096
I think you did the right thing.
607
00:37:28,700 --> 00:37:30,577
No, no, no word of a lie.
608
00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:37,853
I'd have done the same myself,
if you'd have asked me,
609
00:37:37,940 --> 00:37:39,692
for either of mine.
610
00:37:39,780 --> 00:37:41,577
Not a moment's hesitation.
611
00:37:48,420 --> 00:37:49,899
(Frank) You cry, love.
612
00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:12,934
Wait. Debbie, love, would you mind?
613
00:38:13,020 --> 00:38:14,612
No.
614
00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:25,129
Thanks.
615
00:38:29,940 --> 00:38:32,249
Come here, love.
616
00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:38,536
It's all right. It's only Nan.
617
00:38:40,260 --> 00:38:43,650
Right, you take the main road.
I'll go this way.
618
00:38:47,180 --> 00:38:50,889
Oh, managed to drag yourself out of bed
this morning then, did you?
619
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:55,537
Carrie, that was mine.
620
00:38:55,620 --> 00:38:58,339
Oh, Carrie, come on.
621
00:38:58,420 --> 00:38:58,977
Mmm.
622
00:38:59,060 --> 00:39:01,210
I was saving that.
623
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,609
I thought you was running on love alone.
624
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:07,136
Didn't think you needed food
to fight for your lady's honour.
625
00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:09,450
Carrie...!
626
00:39:09,540 --> 00:39:11,929
I've had enough of everyone
treating me like a doormat.
627
00:39:21,380 --> 00:39:25,373
(Yvonne) We'll be getting more later
in the week. Is that all right, love?
628
00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:26,688
Yvonne,
I've got something to say to you.
629
00:39:26,780 --> 00:39:28,213
I'm serving...
630
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:30,814
I don't care,
I won't be brushed aside again.
631
00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:34,654
Because... You women, you all say
there's no decent men in the world.
632
00:39:34,740 --> 00:39:37,937
But when you meet one,
all you do is write me off.
633
00:39:38,020 --> 00:39:41,012
It's rude, Yvonne,
and it hurts my feelings.
634
00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:42,738
I'm not a super hunk
635
00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:46,654
and maybe I don't fit in with
your idea of what it is you want.
636
00:39:46,740 --> 00:39:49,573
But I'm decent and kind
637
00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:52,572
and we could've been good together.
If you don't see that,
638
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:57,176
if I was just an embarrassing shag
in the storeroom to you, it's your loss.
639
00:39:57,260 --> 00:39:59,854
SOFT MURMURS
640
00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:10,294
Stan!
641
00:40:10,380 --> 00:40:12,257
Stan! Stop, will ya?
642
00:40:14,180 --> 00:40:15,329
Look, Yvonne...
643
00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:18,492
Two nights a week, one of which
you have to come round to mine
644
00:40:18,580 --> 00:40:20,616
because I can't afford the childcare.
645
00:40:20,700 --> 00:40:23,851
My kids always come first
and you're not moving in.
646
00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:26,135
We'll just take things slowly.
647
00:40:26,220 --> 00:40:27,653
What are you saying?
648
00:40:27,740 --> 00:40:29,059
I'm saying...
649
00:40:29,140 --> 00:40:31,608
Yes, I will go out with you.
650
00:40:33,220 --> 00:40:35,495
But no teenage stuff.
651
00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:37,571
No gooey eyes,
game-playing and chocolate.
652
00:40:37,660 --> 00:40:39,298
Yeah, yeah, I get you.
653
00:40:39,380 --> 00:40:42,338
No flowers, no candles,
no weekends away.
654
00:40:45,060 --> 00:40:46,891
Come on.
655
00:40:50,340 --> 00:40:52,934
- Odd weekend away wouldn't hurt.
- Yeah.
656
00:40:53,020 --> 00:40:56,092
Once in a while.
You have to give me a bit of notice, mind.
657
00:40:56,180 --> 00:41:00,253
- I've always fancied Blackpool.
- No more shagging in your storeroom.
658
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:03,059
Me fuckin' nerves couldn't take it.
Seen me bruises?
659
00:41:09,940 --> 00:41:13,330
Mum. We've cleared out her stuff.
660
00:41:13,420 --> 00:41:16,457
And rang round the family.
661
00:41:16,540 --> 00:41:20,613
Apparently she left all her savings
to you. About two grand.
662
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:22,930
Hey, good old Joan!
663
00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:25,329
Wasn't so bad after all, was she?
664
00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:27,980
Funeral costs more than that.
665
00:41:28,060 --> 00:41:33,259
Oh, well, come and die at Frank's house!
Free fuckin' funerals all round.
666
00:41:38,940 --> 00:41:43,092
I've invited Fiona Clark, the Smith girls...
667
00:41:43,180 --> 00:41:45,455
Got something for you.
668
00:41:45,540 --> 00:41:48,054
Where the fuck?
669
00:41:48,140 --> 00:41:49,289
Wasn't easy.
670
00:41:54,460 --> 00:41:57,452
Four cars. That's...
671
00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:00,054
300 you owe me.
Is that mine there?
672
00:42:00,140 --> 00:42:01,095
In your fucking dreams.
673
00:42:01,180 --> 00:42:01,578
Listen...
674
00:42:01,660 --> 00:42:05,414
Yes, officer, I can identify
the men who stole the cars.
675
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:10,335
I think they're on probation. Does that mean
they'll go to prison for a really long time?
676
00:42:11,860 --> 00:42:13,976
Well done.
677
00:42:14,060 --> 00:42:16,415
What the fuck are you
gonna do with 300 quid?
678
00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,138
I've got a few ideas.
679
00:42:27,820 --> 00:42:29,856
- Never wanted a fucking party anyway...
- I did!
680
00:42:29,940 --> 00:42:31,373
Shut up.
681
00:42:38,180 --> 00:42:40,978
LAUGHTER
682
00:42:41,060 --> 00:42:42,015
So...
683
00:42:42,100 --> 00:42:46,093
Come on, here's to Joan.
684
00:42:48,620 --> 00:42:50,292
She may have been...
685
00:42:52,860 --> 00:42:54,896
...you know, an old bitch...
686
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,691
...but...
687
00:42:58,780 --> 00:43:03,058
she's where your mum comes from.
688
00:43:03,140 --> 00:43:04,653
Oh, Frank...
689
00:43:04,740 --> 00:43:05,968
(All) To Joan.
690
00:43:08,980 --> 00:43:10,698
To Mum.
691
00:43:12,540 --> 00:43:16,010
I must say, Frank. I'm quite surprised
she never come on to you.
692
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:18,773
She did to all my other boyfriends.
693
00:43:20,260 --> 00:43:26,335
Well, maybe she saw
that we had something special.
694
00:43:26,420 --> 00:43:27,933
Yeah.
695
00:43:30,340 --> 00:43:33,218
We know different, don't we, Frank?
696
00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:34,779
You and Joan.
697
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,576
You sure you're OK, Mum?
698
00:43:44,660 --> 00:43:46,776
Yeah. Thanks, Debbie, love.
699
00:43:46,860 --> 00:43:50,170
That was a nice gesture,
giving her the blanket.
700
00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:54,139
Not really. Didn't like it.
Don't make us another one, eh?
701
00:43:55,740 --> 00:44:00,256
(Monica) 'Norma always says,
"Biology is not destiny".
702
00:44:00,340 --> 00:44:01,932
'And I suppose she's right.
703
00:44:02,020 --> 00:44:04,978
'I mean, I'm nothing like my mum.
704
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:08,609
'So that old saying, "The apple never falls
very far from the tree",
705
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:10,930
'It's wrong, in't it?
706
00:44:11,020 --> 00:44:14,979
'Because if the tree's at the top
of a very steep hill and the apple rolls
707
00:44:15,060 --> 00:44:19,258
'down that hill and onto a jetty,
and off the jetty onto a boat,
708
00:44:19,340 --> 00:44:20,819
'and the boat's on a river
709
00:44:20,900 --> 00:44:24,654
'that takes the apple
round to the other side of the world...
710
00:44:24,740 --> 00:44:29,131
'Well then, that is far, in't it? '
711
00:45:03,980 --> 00:45:07,131
SPANISH FLAMENCO MUSIC
712
00:45:08,860 --> 00:45:12,136
SHE CLACKS CASTANETS
713
00:45:17,140 --> 00:45:18,573
Ole!
714
00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:24,733
Dress is nice.
715
00:45:24,783 --> 00:45:29,333
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