All language subtitles for Reno 911 s01e13 Terrorist .eng
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,868 --> 00:00:07,934
[ Siren wailing ]
2
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:14,601
It says, "praise allah!"
3
00:00:14,701 --> 00:00:16,100
Good morning!
4
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,200
We are from the department
Of homeland security.
5
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:21,868
My name is
Captain duane hernandez.
6
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:25,334
This is my assistant,
Lieutenant susie kim.
7
00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:29,534
In one week, you will be given
An exam on homeland security,
8
00:00:29,634 --> 00:00:31,167
And you will all pass.
9
00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:33,968
The chemicals wash down
The body,
10
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,934
Flowing away
From the vital organs.
11
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:39,267
I'm dirty.
I want to go in there.
12
00:00:39,367 --> 00:00:43,334
I'm sort of more studying duane
And his physique
13
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:47,634
Than i have so much the
Terrorist aspect of things.
14
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:49,601
Go. Go, go, go, go.
15
00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,200
Well, we've been smelling
This noxious fume all day.
16
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,133
I think what we've got
Is bioterrorism.
17
00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:55,667
We all
In the same ballpark?
18
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:58,133
We're gonna need
A hazmat team.
19
00:00:58,234 --> 00:00:59,467
Call washington.
20
00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:01,234
Wiegel: oh, my god!
21
00:01:04,501 --> 00:01:06,334
[ Siren wailing ]
22
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,534
[ Tires screech ]
23
00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:12,834
Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h!
24
00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:20,334
Aah! Aah! Aah!
25
00:01:20,434 --> 00:01:22,467
Hey, dog. Yeah.
26
00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:30,801
Ho! Ho! Ho!
27
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,834
[ Siren wailing ]
28
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:51,767
Wiegel, i need a visual
Surveillance of the perimeter
29
00:01:51,868 --> 00:01:53,067
And all the quadrants.
30
00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:54,534
We need the hazmat team.
31
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:56,667
What we need to do
Is call washington.
32
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:59,033
I will get on the phone
With washington.
33
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:02,501
Guys, it's just a skunk.
34
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:06,067
[ Bleep ]
Damn it.
35
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,367
Confirmation -- skunk.
36
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:09,367
Air quality bad.
Let's get down.
37
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:12,200
We're gonna fill it up with
Water from the fire hose
38
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,601
And flood him out.
39
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,634
No, that only happens
In cartoons, garcia.
40
00:02:15,734 --> 00:02:19,000
The best way to draw it out is
To pretend like we're sleeping.
41
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:22,434
The skunk's gonna want to come
Out as if -- so he can leave,
42
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,868
And then as soon as --
We pounce on him.
43
00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:28,367
Let's just shoot it.
44
00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:29,601
Yeah.
45
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:32,400
We've all got guns.
I don't know why we --
46
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:35,501
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
47
00:02:35,601 --> 00:02:36,534
Captain.
48
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,067
What's the situation?
49
00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:40,868
There's a skunk, sir.
There's a skunk.
50
00:02:40,968 --> 00:02:42,267
A skunk?
Yes.
51
00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:44,801
Okay. What do you propose
To do about it?
52
00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:48,067
Well, i proposed that we get
In there and shoot it --
53
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,434
Kill it.
54
00:02:49,534 --> 00:02:52,767
Let me ask a question.
This is open to anyone.
55
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:56,467
Are you familiar with the
Concept of yin and yang?
56
00:02:56,567 --> 00:03:00,234
Yeah, there's the black thing
And the white thing,
57
00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,801
And they kind of look
Like sperm.
58
00:03:02,901 --> 00:03:04,467
Very good. Very good.
59
00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,968
There is a positive and
A negative in life,
60
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:10,667
And sometimes you capture --
61
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:15,734
You capture more with honey
Than with violence.
62
00:03:15,834 --> 00:03:17,334
Do you understand?
63
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:18,400
Mm-hmm.
64
00:03:18,501 --> 00:03:20,067
It's a skunk.
65
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,834
Is it striped?
66
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:23,501
It's striped.
67
00:03:23,601 --> 00:03:25,934
It's a striped skunk?
68
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,400
[ Chittering ]
69
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,000
[ Chittering continues ]
70
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,234
She's female...In estrus.
71
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:51,601
She's just being frisky,
That's all.
72
00:03:51,701 --> 00:03:54,067
There's no need to shoot it.
73
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,868
I -- i apologize.
74
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:58,000
It's okay.
75
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,534
Give me five.
76
00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:02,534
Push-ups.
77
00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:04,033
Five.
78
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,868
You're a good man.
79
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:09,367
Wiegel: thank you, duane.
80
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,400
Shh.
81
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,400
Wow, huh?
82
00:04:13,501 --> 00:04:15,934
That's duane.
83
00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:17,667
I've been really impressed
84
00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:20,467
With the conduct of the
Homeland security officers.
85
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:23,834
[ Clears throat ]
86
00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:26,434
Duane hernandez.
87
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,200
I look at that man,
88
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:32,601
And i want to put on an apron
And fry up some eggs,
89
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:36,701
And i want to learn everything
He has to teach.
90
00:04:36,801 --> 00:04:40,634
"Teach me, teacher.
Take me to school.
91
00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:43,033
Let me serve detention."
92
00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:46,767
I will follow him
Wherever he goes.
93
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:50,267
I will hit that
Before he leaves.
94
00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:51,334
Oh, hell.
95
00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:52,734
How you doing?
96
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,267
I'm doing okay.
97
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:55,534
How are you?
98
00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:57,000
I'm not so good,
99
00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,200
'Cause you were weaving
All over the road there.
100
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,968
Can we get one thing straight?
I have not been drinking.
101
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:06,133
Right hand to the nose...
102
00:05:06,234 --> 00:05:07,300
Yeah.
103
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,801
...With the left hand
And back out.
104
00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:13,868
I need you to recite
The alphabet
105
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:16,501
From "z" to "a" backwards
As fast as you can.
106
00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:17,868
From "z" to "a"? Sure.
107
00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:20,234
Uh...
108
00:05:20,334 --> 00:05:23,067
Z...
109
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,934
Y...
110
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:31,434
X, w, v, u, t, s, r, q,
P, o, n, m, l, k, j,
111
00:05:31,534 --> 00:05:36,934
I, h, g, f, e, d, c, b, a.
112
00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:38,501
All right.
113
00:05:38,601 --> 00:05:40,167
Remarkable.
114
00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:42,567
I've actually never seen
Anybody do that.
115
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:44,367
Oh, my bladder is full.
116
00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:48,267
I'm not worried about your
Bladder right now, okay?
117
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:51,868
All right.
118
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:54,400
You've got
Pretty good balance there.
119
00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:57,601
I want you to step, bump,
Step, bump-bump,
120
00:05:57,701 --> 00:06:00,033
Step, bump,
Step, bump-bump.
121
00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:02,400
5, 6, 7, 8.
122
00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:05,167
Step, bump,
Step, bump-bump,
123
00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:07,934
Step, bump,
Step, bump-bump.
124
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:12,434
Pas de barré, kick-ball-change,
Step, clap.
125
00:06:12,534 --> 00:06:15,300
5, 6, 7, 8.
126
00:06:18,367 --> 00:06:20,901
You know what would be good
127
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,634
Is if you kicked and then
You kind of...Did that
128
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:29,501
And then a barrel turn
And then -- ha!
129
00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:30,501
You know?
130
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:31,701
That was good.
131
00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,367
That was really good.
132
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:34,501
You a dancer?
133
00:06:34,601 --> 00:06:36,734
No. No, no, no.
134
00:06:36,834 --> 00:06:38,968
I'm just drunk.
135
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,734
Ahhhhh!
Ahhhhh!
136
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,501
Up against the vehicle
Right now, sir.
137
00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:45,067
You are going to jail.
138
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:46,334
Susie kim.
139
00:06:46,434 --> 00:06:48,634
Susie kim,
The homeland security officer.
140
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,234
Phew!
141
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:54,834
Man.
142
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:56,033
[ Whistles ]
143
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,801
Don't do that.
You don't know her.
144
00:06:58,901 --> 00:07:00,267
Can i ask you a question?
145
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,501
Yeah, sure, of course.
146
00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:03,334
You can ask me anything,
Susie.
147
00:07:03,434 --> 00:07:06,801
So...
148
00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:09,834
So, what is it
With the shorts?
149
00:07:09,934 --> 00:07:11,133
Um, is it --
150
00:07:11,234 --> 00:07:12,901
I mean, c-c-can --
151
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,167
You don't mind me asking?
152
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:16,767
No, no, i, uh --
153
00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:19,534
Can your ass breathe in it,
'Cause it just seems so --
154
00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:21,334
I wear them
For maneuverability,
155
00:07:21,434 --> 00:07:23,434
But you think they're silly,
Don't you?
156
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:25,067
No, no.
You know what it is?
157
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:26,734
The shorts
Are kind of silly.
158
00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,801
They're not silly at all.
They're not.
159
00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:30,801
You, just being as fit
As you are --
160
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:33,000
I think you should let
Your ass breathe
161
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,667
Because it's
Such a nice ass.
162
00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:36,334
With some slacks,
You think?
163
00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:37,367
Yeah.
164
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:40,000
You know,
I have, you know --
165
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,834
I have long pants.
I just, um...
166
00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:45,534
I'd like to see that
Sometime.
167
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,033
Look at me.
168
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:51,100
I'm...Dressed
Like a goddamn clown.
169
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,901
I sure would like a hottie
Like that, uh --
170
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,400
What's her name?
Susie...
171
00:07:57,501 --> 00:08:00,334
Uh, mrs. Lieutenant
Susie kim.
172
00:08:00,434 --> 00:08:01,868
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
173
00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,667
I saw her making eyes
For me.
174
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:08,367
I think their eyes
Are always like that.
175
00:08:14,734 --> 00:08:19,501
Captain duane hernandez has
Taught me a lot of things.
176
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:23,601
He's taught me that i look best
In red lips,
177
00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:27,367
That i can wear smoky
Eye-shadow shades,
178
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:30,934
That it's okay
To wear push-up bras.
179
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:36,033
But i haven't learned a whole
Lot about homeland security.
180
00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:41,200
I'm afraid i'm definitely gonna
Blow the test.
181
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:45,033
But, uh, i'm gonna look great
Doing it.
182
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,067
You pull into a parking lot.
183
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:50,033
There is a foreign object
Unattended.
184
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:53,234
In this case,
It's a piece of luggage.
185
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:54,601
What do you do?
186
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,934
The clock is ticking, people.
187
00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:58,334
If it's at a mall,
188
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:00,400
You would take it to the
Information desk
189
00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:03,367
And see if there's a reward.
If there is, then collect it.
190
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,868
If it's in a supermarket,
Just leave it there.
191
00:09:05,968 --> 00:09:08,000
It's probably
For a homeless person.
192
00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:11,234
No.
193
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:12,400
Williams.
194
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:13,868
I got it. Okay.
195
00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:16,834
You shout out,
"Hey, who forgot their bag?!"
196
00:09:16,934 --> 00:09:19,267
No, williams,
You do not shout out,
197
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,400
"Hey, who forgot
Their bag?!"
198
00:09:21,501 --> 00:09:24,400
If someone shows up --
No, it's not a raffle.
199
00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:25,634
Jones?
200
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:29,234
I didn't have --
I didn't raise my hand.
201
00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:30,467
Dangle?
202
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,701
I don't know how or where
You get them,
203
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:35,100
But i believe there are robots
For this.
204
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,267
Who has those?
205
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,734
Radio shack.
206
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:40,501
If you're at the mall,
You don't even have to call.
207
00:09:40,601 --> 00:09:41,801
Okay, okay, okay.
208
00:09:41,901 --> 00:09:43,467
You're calling someone.
209
00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:45,334
You're on the right track.
210
00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:46,834
Robot squad.
No robot squad!
211
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,467
That's horribly wrong!
212
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:51,133
This is maybe a little right.
You're over there!
213
00:09:51,234 --> 00:09:53,400
You took a bus!
You took a transfer!
214
00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,200
You went over there somewhere!
215
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,534
[ Clears throat ]
216
00:09:56,634 --> 00:09:58,767
Yeah. Uh, we are, uh --
We're ready.
217
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:01,801
We've been studying, right?
We've been studying.
218
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,300
We made some flash cards
For the test.
219
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,701
We are getting ready
For the test --
220
00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:08,400
The homeland security test.
221
00:10:08,501 --> 00:10:13,234
Um...We tried to study
Last night,
222
00:10:13,334 --> 00:10:19,100
Ended up watching tv
And having some beers,
223
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,934
And, uh...
224
00:10:22,033 --> 00:10:24,000
Tonight we really have to
Buckle down.
225
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,467
We're gonna buckle down.
226
00:10:25,567 --> 00:10:27,634
But a short answer
To your question --
227
00:10:27,734 --> 00:10:30,701
If terrorism hits reno,
No, we're pretty much [bleep]
228
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,400
[ Indistinct shouting ]
229
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:35,367
Got a call
About a disturbance.
230
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:36,934
She's disturbed.
231
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,968
[ Shouting continues ]
232
00:10:39,067 --> 00:10:41,634
T.T.
T.T., What you doing?
233
00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:43,033
Hi. Remember me?
234
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,601
T.T.,
You doing some shopping?
235
00:10:45,701 --> 00:10:48,133
I'm buying everybody a beer
'Cause i won the lotto.
236
00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:49,467
Let's go shopping outside,
237
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:51,133
Because everything
Out there --
238
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,634
Whoo-hoo!
239
00:10:52,734 --> 00:10:55,701
Damn it, t.T.!
240
00:10:55,801 --> 00:10:57,000
Whoo-whoo!
241
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,667
Get back here!
242
00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:01,300
T.T., I'm not playing
With you.
243
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,968
I am not playing
With you, girl.
244
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,300
T.T.!
245
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,367
Ma'am, just stay put.
Just stay put.
246
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,067
Everybody stay put.
247
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:11,701
I got a t.T. Situation here
At the virginia street market.
248
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,567
T.T. Thinks she won
The lottery.
249
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,634
I need you here right now.
Thank you.
250
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,467
Go, go, go.
Nothing to see.
251
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:19,734
Give me my stick.
Where's my stick?
252
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:21,234
Right here. Come on.
253
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:23,834
We're gonna get you
Another ticket.
254
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,267
Don't throw punches
At me, t.T.
255
00:11:26,367 --> 00:11:28,100
Don't throw punches at me.
256
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,701
No, t.T., T.T., T.T.
Jones.
257
00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:34,000
You want to date a woman
With money?
258
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,100
Whoo!
259
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,167
Want to date a woman
That got paid?
260
00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:39,334
Oh, god, no.
261
00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:41,501
Well, this is
A california ticket.
262
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,033
What you talkin' 'bout?
263
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:45,667
That's california.
Where'd you get that?
264
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:47,334
You didn't
Win the lottery.
265
00:11:47,434 --> 00:11:48,868
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
266
00:11:48,968 --> 00:11:52,033
Aw, geez
Here we go !
267
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,367
Damn!
268
00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:59,267
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
269
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,534
All right.
270
00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:02,234
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
271
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:04,534
T.T., Act like a lady.
272
00:12:04,634 --> 00:12:06,300
Act like a lady.
273
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,634
Who's putting this
[Bleep] away?
274
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,601
Williams, dangle,
275
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:18,968
I want you to approach the
Foreign object
276
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:22,200
And assess the situation --
Cautiously.
277
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,501
Go. You have one minute. Go.
278
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:31,200
Good, dangle, good.
279
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,234
Cautiously, cautiously.
280
00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:35,667
You don't know what's inside.
281
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,634
It could be dangerous.
282
00:12:37,734 --> 00:12:40,734
Williams,
You are not on the moon.
283
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,033
Just approach with caution.
284
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,200
Assess the situation.
285
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,767
You may not -- okay, okay.
286
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,801
Now you are assessing
The situation.
287
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:51,300
No -- no, you don't --
288
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,534
You're -- no.
289
00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:55,567
Dangle, you don't know
What's inside.
290
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:56,801
You may not feel comf--
291
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,133
Did you say check inside?
292
00:12:58,234 --> 00:13:00,033
Oh, my goodness.
293
00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:01,100
Whoa.
294
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,667
Yes, it's just --
It's clothes.
295
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,200
That's my clothes.
296
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,567
That's all silk.
297
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,567
Is this a gordon gottrell?
298
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,167
That's calvin klein.
299
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:13,334
He has a white dinner jacket
Made in the philippines.
300
00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:16,634
Jones: that's a gordon gottrell,
Isn't it?
301
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,000
Good afternoon, class.
My name is officer garcia.
302
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,968
This is my partner,
Officer jones.
303
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:26,834
We are from the reno county
Sheriff's department.
304
00:13:26,934 --> 00:13:29,267
And we are here today
To talk about self-defense.
305
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,701
Let's say you folks are caught
Behind the bleachers.
306
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:33,734
You're taking a whiz,
Taking a leak.
307
00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:35,901
I'm gonna show you six ways
To get out of this hold.
308
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,033
He's a bigger man,
But it doesn't matter.
309
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,467
I'm gonna use my leverage,
And i'm gonna get out, okay?
310
00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:43,167
You might think there's nothing
I can do from here.
311
00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:45,234
What i'm gonna do
Is use my leverage.
312
00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:47,200
I'm gonna start
With my right knee.
313
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,567
I'm gonna spin out.
314
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:54,567
[ Grunting ]
315
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,567
You okay?
316
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,601
Yeah, i'm all right.
Damn.
317
00:13:57,701 --> 00:13:59,667
[ Grunting ]
318
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,968
All right, time-out.
Hold on. Hold on.
319
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,267
You want to spin out?
320
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,300
You gotta get me
From the other side.
321
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,801
You can't get it from here?
322
00:14:06,901 --> 00:14:08,267
I can spin out that way.
323
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,400
Wait. Hold on. Hold on.
324
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:15,567
You okay?
325
00:14:15,667 --> 00:14:18,534
Yeah. [ Coughs ]
I'm all right.
326
00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:22,601
He's a bigger man.
Now, normally -- all right.
327
00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:27,133
Take those glasses off.
Okay. Now, hold on. Hold on.
328
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,667
See that right there?
329
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,300
Right there --
See, i had him going.
330
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,167
I lured him with the whole
Speech thing.
331
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,300
You want to show them
Another hold?
332
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,133
No, i'm good, i'm good.
Yeah.
333
00:14:38,234 --> 00:14:40,100
I think any terrorist
334
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,367
Who would plan to do some kind
Of thing in reno
335
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,634
Has never been to reno.
336
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,601
Ladies and gentlemen,
It's showtime.
337
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:54,334
You have 45 minutes in which
To finish the exam.
338
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,167
Godspeed.
339
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:15,801
Okay, here we go, folks.
340
00:15:15,901 --> 00:15:18,868
Question 1 -- answer is "a,"
"Don't open."
341
00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,801
Question 2 -- answer is "a."
342
00:15:20,901 --> 00:15:22,734
Question 3 -- answer is "c."
343
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,801
Going way too fast --
Way, way, way too fast.
344
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:26,667
I don't know when
He's gonna come back.
345
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:28,968
Yes, reno was disgusting.
346
00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:33,467
Yes, maybe it is a cesspool
Of vice and boredom --
347
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:36,834
An abysmal hellhole
Of nothingness.
348
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:39,667
But we had a nice time.
349
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:49,968
That timer was some kind of
A camera or something, i bet.
350
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:53,133
They're gonna know we cheated,
And we are dead.
351
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,467
We are dead.
We've lost our jobs.
352
00:15:55,567 --> 00:16:00,100
Hey...Everything's gonna be fine
As long as we stick together
353
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,467
Like a team, okay?
Teamwork.
354
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:05,067
To teamwork, okay?
To teamwork.
355
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:06,067
Oh.
356
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,968
Hey, duane, how you doing?
357
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,200
When i was 7 years old...
358
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:19,968
I went to my grandfather's ranch
In seville, spain.
359
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:23,667
He had a prize bull,
Bernardito.
360
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:29,033
And one afternoon, i saw
Bernardito mount 15 cows.
361
00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:31,234
Today...
362
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:34,934
I think i feel what bernardito
Must have felt,
363
00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:38,968
Because i'm very proud --
Very proud of all of you.
364
00:16:39,067 --> 00:16:40,701
You have passed the exam.
365
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:41,834
Ohh!
366
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:45,601
[ Applause ]
367
00:16:45,701 --> 00:16:48,534
So now what happens?
Now what do we do?
368
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:50,367
What happens now is life.
369
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:53,133
You're gonna stay,
Though, right?
370
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:54,934
Bernardito took a nap.
371
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:56,934
You will continue doing
What you do,
372
00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,634
And we will continue doing
What we do.
373
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:01,634
Congratulations.
374
00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:04,634
Duane, you guys are --
You're not, uh --
375
00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:06,534
You're really not staying?
376
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:09,400
I have to go on.
I'm needed elsewhere.
377
00:17:09,501 --> 00:17:13,667
But it was a pleasure to train
You all and to serve with you.
378
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,868
We're not done.
We're not ready.
379
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,534
We're certainly not ready.
380
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:20,100
Williams: no, no, no,
We are not ready.
381
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,801
We need -- we need help.
We need more --
382
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,334
That was so --
383
00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:27,767
Carry on.
384
00:17:27,868 --> 00:17:30,267
Johnson: duane,
My name is spelled wrong!
385
00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:31,767
We cheated. We cheated!
386
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:34,100
You gotta come back
Because we cheated.
387
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,868
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!
388
00:17:35,968 --> 00:17:36,868
Duane?
389
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,300
Duane?
390
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,934
Don't go, duane.
You can't go.
391
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:50,934
When i first met you,
392
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:53,801
You were like a frightened
Little kitten
393
00:17:53,901 --> 00:17:56,634
Inside a laundry hamper.
394
00:17:56,734 --> 00:17:58,434
Now...
395
00:17:58,534 --> 00:18:02,934
You are a beautiful swan
Inside a fancy restaurant.
396
00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:06,634
Send back the soup
If you don't like it.
397
00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:08,300
Order more bread.
398
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,100
You are in command.
399
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,300
[ Singing in spanish ]
400
00:18:25,534 --> 00:18:26,934
[ Sighs ]
401
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:29,167
It smells like safety.
402
00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:31,400
It smells like safety.
403
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,968
It is.
404
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:36,801
[ Crying ] it is.
405
00:18:36,901 --> 00:18:39,133
Duane...
406
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:41,267
No.
407
00:18:41,367 --> 00:18:42,767
No.
408
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:43,868
Duane!
409
00:18:43,968 --> 00:18:46,801
Duane, come back, duane!
410
00:18:46,901 --> 00:18:49,601
Duane, don't go, duane!
411
00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,834
Come back, duane!
412
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:54,434
No! Come back, duane!
413
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,901
Come back, duane! No!
414
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,701
Come back, duane!
415
00:19:00,801 --> 00:19:02,501
Come back, duane!
416
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:04,367
Come back, duane!
417
00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:15,234
Um, so i suppose most of you
418
00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:17,934
Have heard little snippets
About this.
419
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,267
We were robbed
Over the weekend.
420
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,367
They got away with $300,000
Worth of evidence
421
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:27,334
From the evidence room and most
Of the phones and computers.
422
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:30,200
Uh, apparently the department
Of homeland security
423
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:34,367
Doesn't send out teams
To train.
424
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:37,534
That person who called himself
Duane hernandez
425
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:43,501
Is apparently
"Spanish mike" alvarez,
426
00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:49,133
Wanted for impersonating a
Federal officer, grand larceny,
427
00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:52,501
And the "woman," uh, uh...
428
00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:56,734
Is apparently a gentleman
Named sammy heung.
429
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:58,334
I tried to [bleep] him.
430
00:19:58,434 --> 00:20:00,234
Johnson: of course you did.
431
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,734
Duane also took
My credit-card number
432
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:06,667
And told me he was gonna get me
A subscription to condé nast.
433
00:20:06,767 --> 00:20:08,667
Who do we even report
The theft to?
434
00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:12,367
I'm not sure.
The president?
435
00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,334
Johnson: i knew
Something was wrong.
436
00:20:14,434 --> 00:20:16,534
She kept staring
At my boobs all the time.
437
00:20:16,634 --> 00:20:20,033
Sammy's a boob man,
I guess.
438
00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:22,234
I am irritated,
And i have a headache,
439
00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:25,434
And i'd like to never speak of
This again outside this room.
440
00:20:25,534 --> 00:20:27,901
Can we just forget it ever
Happened, please?
441
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,567
Done.
442
00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:32,567
Code of...
443
00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:33,667
Silence.
444
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:34,834
Sure.
445
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,701
I can't believe
That just happened
446
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,834
With duane and the whole --
447
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,467
Williams: code of silence.
448
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:45,200
We just made a code of silence
30 seconds ago.
449
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:59,033
I knew those
Weren't real.
450
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,434
They were lumpy.
451
00:21:00,534 --> 00:21:02,834
Does it make you gay if you
Whacked off to a guy ?
452
00:21:02,934 --> 00:21:04,767
Not if you didn't know
It was a guy.
453
00:21:04,868 --> 00:21:06,133
[Dangle]
Well, wait a second.
454
00:21:06,234 --> 00:21:07,767
I don't think you get
A vote on this.
455
00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:08,868
You gotta start
Somewhere, so...
456
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,133
Buh-buh-buh...
457
00:21:11,234 --> 00:21:13,767
Survey says "yes",
I'd say.
458
00:21:13,868 --> 00:21:15,467
Oh, ( bleep ),
God damn, i'm queer.
459
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:17,000
[Johnson]
Well, you know what that Asshole said to me ?
460
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,167
Spanish mike ?
461
00:21:18,267 --> 00:21:21,567
He said, "clemmy",
You know,
462
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:23,868
"You don't need to look
Like that all the time,
463
00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:26,434
You should read books,
You got a great mind."
464
00:21:26,534 --> 00:21:27,868
Huh, bull-( bleep ),
Buddy.
465
00:21:27,918 --> 00:21:32,468
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32031
