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1
00:00:13,801 --> 00:00:16,367
We got a call about
A nude sunbather.
2
00:00:16,467 --> 00:00:19,133
I bet you anything
It ain't nobody black.
3
00:00:19,234 --> 00:00:20,767
Ohh-ho-ho.
4
00:00:20,868 --> 00:00:23,601
Sir, you're gonna have
To cover that up, please.
5
00:00:23,701 --> 00:00:25,133
Oh, hey, girls.
6
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,601
Dangle?
How you doing?
7
00:00:26,701 --> 00:00:28,567
Oh, oh, oh.
8
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:31,000
This is a scorcher, huh?
9
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:32,868
Whoo, doggy!
10
00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:34,133
Hey, joe.
11
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,133
You want a mojito
Or something?
12
00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:37,567
Joe?
13
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,367
[ Siren wailing ]
14
00:00:40,868 --> 00:00:42,567
[ Tires screech ]
15
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,767
Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h!
16
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,400
Aah! Aah! Aah!
17
00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:55,534
Hey, dog. Yeah.
18
00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:03,834
Ho! Ho! Ho!
19
00:01:13,934 --> 00:01:15,868
[ Siren wailing ]
20
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,234
Okay, next order of business --
21
00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:24,501
As many of you know, today is
Deputy james garcia's 15th year
22
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,567
With the reno sheriff's
Department.
23
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,534
[ Applause ]
24
00:01:28,634 --> 00:01:29,701
Thank you.
25
00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:32,300
And there are also --
I'm sorry.
26
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,801
If you're planning
Some big to-do,
27
00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:36,734
Just knock it off
Right now.
28
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:39,334
Nip it in the bud, 'cause,
Again, i'm just gonna go home,
29
00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:42,868
Have me a tv dinner,
And that's it, so okay.
30
00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,367
We weren't
Planning anything.
31
00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:47,067
Okay, moving right along,
32
00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:49,634
They're taking
The cigarette machine
33
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,501
Out of the break room today.
34
00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:55,434
Why would anybody,
Uh --
35
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:59,367
Why would anybody want
To celebrate...
36
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:03,200
Hanging out in the same place
For 15 years,
37
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,334
Dealing with the same stupid
Criminals on the street
38
00:02:06,434 --> 00:02:07,767
Every day,
39
00:02:07,868 --> 00:02:12,467
And [sighs] you look back
And say,
40
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,367
"Hey, what have i done?
Not much."
41
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,734
"Hey, where'd the years go?"
"I don't know."
42
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:20,934
"You're older and slower and one
Day closer to death,"
43
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:26,501
And i just don't know
If that's something
44
00:02:26,601 --> 00:02:30,033
You want to blow up a balloon
For or light a candle.
45
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:35,267
See you later.
46
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:43,701
I guess now we gotta get
Balloons and candles.
47
00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:45,267
Baby wants a bottle.
48
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,300
Baby wants a party,
It sounds like.
49
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,033
Let's not spend too much,
Whatever we do, okay?
50
00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:54,734
I think garcia's lasted
For 15 years mostly because
51
00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:57,767
He sort of runs on, uh,
52
00:02:57,868 --> 00:03:01,100
Pure, unadulterated anger,
53
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:06,334
Kind of like how
I run on, uh, terror
54
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:09,767
And sort of genuine malaise
And misery.
55
00:03:09,868 --> 00:03:13,200
I guess some pit bulls
Are happy
56
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,567
Even when they're
Tearing apart a little child,
57
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:18,467
And in that sense,
Garcia's probably very happy.
58
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:22,367
[ Indistinct shouting ]
59
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:26,067
Get out of here!
Just get out of here!
60
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:28,501
Calm down.
61
00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:31,834
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,
Slow down, slow down, slow down.
62
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,901
All right, all right, all right,
All right, all right.
63
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,567
Get off my [bleep] property!
64
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:37,968
Ow!
Hey, hey, come on.
65
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,300
All right. Okay.
66
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,868
Get the [bleep] off!
67
00:03:40,968 --> 00:03:44,367
Whoa, whoa,
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
68
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:47,968
All right, all right.
69
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:52,367
[ Shouting continues ]
70
00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:54,801
Put the bat down.
71
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,634
All right.
72
00:03:56,734 --> 00:03:58,834
All right, all right, come on,
Come on, come on, now.
73
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,801
Now it's over,
It's over.
74
00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:02,133
Hey. Hey.
75
00:04:02,234 --> 00:04:04,868
You leave my family alone!
76
00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:07,667
You leave my family alone!
77
00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:08,901
[ Gunshot ]
78
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,033
All right!
Now, that's it!
79
00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:13,234
You -- you're coming
With me!
80
00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,567
Get him, garcia.
Get him, wiegel.
81
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,868
You're going in!
82
00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:19,667
You okay?
83
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,267
[ Indistinct shouting ]
84
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:22,133
That was a real good fight.
85
00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:25,901
That was cool.
All right.
86
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,801
Hell, yeah.
87
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,334
Did you see me go against
That car? Wham!
88
00:04:29,434 --> 00:04:30,701
She hit you pretty hard.
89
00:04:30,801 --> 00:04:33,801
Did y'all see me when
I shot the gun?
90
00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:36,067
Hey, can i get a copy of me
Going through that window,
91
00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:37,934
Just so i can send
To my friends and stuff?
92
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:39,667
That was real good.
93
00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:41,868
I didn't see that.
94
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:43,267
You didn't get that?
95
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,200
You got that, didn't you?
96
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,267
I got hit by a piece of wood,
And then i got kind of scared.
97
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:48,934
Did you get me going through
The window?
98
00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,701
Dead battery.
99
00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:51,901
Ohh!
100
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,934
The coolest damn thing
That happened to me
101
00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:55,667
Since you cameras
Have been around.
102
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:57,300
I went through a
Goddamn window.
103
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,667
You know what?
104
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,767
We could --
We could let 'em out again.
105
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,234
Just let 'em out.
106
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:05,267
They're gonna fight again.
Just let him out.
107
00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:07,634
Do it. Do it.
Let's do it.
108
00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:10,667
You let tony out of the car,
I'll give you a signal,
109
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:13,868
They can start fighting,
And i'll go over to the porch.
110
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:15,167
What's the signal?
111
00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:17,234
The signal is i'll say,
"Signal."
112
00:05:20,634 --> 00:05:23,400
Sheriff's department!
Sheriff's department!
113
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:24,968
Thank you,
Thank you.
114
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,434
Hi. We got a call.
Who's been assaulted?
115
00:05:27,534 --> 00:05:29,167
There was an assault.
116
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:32,367
They came up to the front desk.
They asked me for change.
117
00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:34,868
He tried to short-change me, so
I slapped him across the face.
118
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:38,334
I slapped him,
And then i slapped her, too.
119
00:05:38,434 --> 00:05:39,400
In one move?
120
00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:40,734
In one move -- just boom!
121
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:42,234
One double slap.
122
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,133
It became a double slap.
It didn't start that way.
123
00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:47,467
Unintentional double slap.
124
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:49,167
Yes, it was completely
Unintentional.
125
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:50,934
I had no intention
Of slapping her,
126
00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:52,501
But i'm telling you,
127
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,300
I was so angry that if my arms
Were long enough,
128
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,367
I would have
Slapped the two kids, too.
129
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:58,501
We have a contest
At our hotel
130
00:05:58,601 --> 00:06:01,133
That whoever works
At the front desk --
131
00:06:01,234 --> 00:06:03,167
If they get
An even balance,
132
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:05,000
If their bank
Is even...
133
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,968
You get
Some kind of prize.
134
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,400
We get to win tickets
135
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,100
To whoever's performing
In the ballroom.
136
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,701
We get to go see them.
137
00:06:12,801 --> 00:06:14,267
Who's playing?
138
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:17,834
Amy grant, and i'm not --
I am not missing amy grant.
139
00:06:17,934 --> 00:06:20,300
I've only won
That contest one time,
140
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,067
And it was ray parker, jr.,
141
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:23,234
And that sucked!
142
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:25,901
I am not...
143
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,334
Do you know who's performing
Next month after amy grant?
144
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:30,767
It's eddie rabbit.
145
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:31,767
Oh, well...
146
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:33,567
No. Yech.
147
00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:36,734
I'm gonna give them
A warning about --
148
00:06:36,834 --> 00:06:38,901
I'm not really sure what i'm
Gonna warn them about,
149
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,033
Because it seems like things
Kind of add up, but...
150
00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:45,601
But they're clearly
Scam artists.
151
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:48,167
It's very, very possible
That they are,
152
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:50,400
But before i do that,
Uh...
153
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:56,234
Who are you going
To amy grant with?
154
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,067
Signal.
155
00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:01,067
Here they are.
Here they are.
156
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,534
[ Indistinct shouting ]
157
00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:07,400
[ Bleep ]
158
00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:09,901
You stop
In the name of the law!
159
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,734
You get off of him.
160
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:13,567
Get off of him!
161
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:19,968
You [bleep] piece
Of [bleep].
162
00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:21,234
[ Gunshot ]
163
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:25,200
All right!
Stop in the name of the law!
164
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,300
And right now the law is
Raineesha williams!
165
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:32,367
Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!
166
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,634
Hey! Hey!
167
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:35,868
The bad boys
Are in our custody.
168
00:07:35,968 --> 00:07:37,400
Should we do it again?
169
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:43,000
[ Siren wailing ]
170
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,133
15 years is a long time.
171
00:07:45,234 --> 00:07:46,801
Yes, ma'am.
172
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,501
In case you guys were --
173
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:51,300
We're not
Planning anything.Nope?
174
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,634
In fact, i wanted
To do something,
175
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,100
Not so much because
I care about you
176
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,300
But because i have
A new recipe
177
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,601
For cinnamon
Red hot jello salad,
178
00:08:00,701 --> 00:08:02,834
And i figured
I could do a 15 --
179
00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:05,501
Jello in the shape
Of a "15" in a mold.
180
00:08:05,601 --> 00:08:07,467
I got all excited
About it.
181
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:10,234
I even went
To look for the molds.
182
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:11,667
They didn't even have --
183
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:13,734
All they had was a 7
And a 2.
184
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,801
Wow, you smell good.
Oh, thank you.
185
00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:18,701
Happy anniversary!
186
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,801
♪ For he's
A jolly good fellow ♪
187
00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:26,100
♪ For he's
A jolly good fellow ♪
188
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,634
♪ For he's
A jolly good fellow... ♪
189
00:08:29,734 --> 00:08:33,334
♪ Which nobody can deny
190
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:38,734
Uh, well,
I'm just really --
191
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,501
We got you a piñata.
192
00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:43,567
[ Cheering ]
193
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,300
I figured you're
Mexican and all.
194
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,567
Okay.
Whoa.
195
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:51,000
Spin him, spin him,
Spin him good.
196
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,567
All right. Okay.
197
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:54,834
All: left. Left.
198
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,467
No, no.
199
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,434
A little left. Up.
200
00:08:58,534 --> 00:08:59,767
Am i good?
Up and left.
201
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:01,367
A little more left.
202
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:02,834
Adios.
203
00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:05,634
[ Gunshots ]
204
00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:08,834
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
205
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:10,634
Want to take
The blindfold off?
206
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:13,133
Well, all right, all right,
Not that i need to.
207
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:16,167
Now we got it.
Now we got it.
208
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:17,234
All right.
209
00:09:17,334 --> 00:09:18,801
Okay, you s.O.B.
210
00:09:18,901 --> 00:09:21,167
Whoo-hoo!
211
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:23,033
[ Gunshots ]
212
00:09:25,367 --> 00:09:27,501
Jones:
You are a [bleep] idiot.
213
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:30,734
Shh. Don't be hard on yourself.
Don't be hard on yourself.
214
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:32,400
[ Jones laughs ]
215
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:36,300
Jones, don't laugh.
216
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,801
What? I'm sorry.
217
00:09:37,901 --> 00:09:41,100
I will not let a little
Papier-mâché pendejo
218
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,000
With a smile on his face
219
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,834
Ruin my 15-year anniversary,
Okay?
220
00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:47,667
Dangle.
221
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:48,901
[ Gunshots ]
222
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,434
Yeah!
Who's smiling now, pendejo?!
223
00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:52,868
[Bleep]
224
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,934
Yeah! Who's smiling now?!
225
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:56,067
[Bleep] you!
226
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:58,667
This is my 15-year -- mine!
227
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:01,701
Whoo! Whoo!
228
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,400
[Bleep] yeah! Yeah!
229
00:10:03,501 --> 00:10:05,000
Who's smiling now?!
230
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,000
Let's have a beer.
Let's have a beer, everybody.
231
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,400
[ Siren wailing ]
232
00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:14,801
I was out here.
233
00:10:14,901 --> 00:10:18,067
I was selling some nachos
And some sprites,
234
00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:21,067
And i was giving
Him some money
235
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,234
And his change back,
236
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:26,100
And then i gave him some
More money i had in my hand.
237
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,567
He grabbed all of it.
238
00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:29,567
And once he put it in
His pocket,
239
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,467
He took his coat,
Opened it up,
240
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,234
And exposed himself,
241
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:36,400
And underneath it,
He was naked,
242
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:39,667
And i saw his
Penis and scrotums.
243
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:43,033
Now, i know you're
A little shaken up right now,
244
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,767
But would he have
Flashed you first
245
00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:47,234
And then grabbed
The money?
246
00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:48,834
To me, that's what
Makes sense.
247
00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:51,634
"Here's my [bleep]
I'm taking your money."
248
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,367
We get a lot of that.
249
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:55,667
We haven't had any,
"I'm taking your money.
250
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:57,767
Here's my dick."
251
00:10:57,868 --> 00:11:00,367
I'm recalling this
In the correct order,
252
00:11:00,467 --> 00:11:03,100
And i'm sorry if you guys
Want to embellish it,
253
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,601
But i'm telling you what
Happened to me.
254
00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:07,901
So, it was definitely
A taking the money --
255
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,334
It was a robbery, and then it
Was penis, in that order.
256
00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:14,634
Stealing and penis, stealing,
Penis, stealing, penis.
257
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:16,167
Do i think garcia's
A happy man?
258
00:11:16,267 --> 00:11:17,501
Oh, god, no.
259
00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:19,434
Oh, heavens.
260
00:11:19,534 --> 00:11:21,000
Oh, lord.
261
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,634
Garcia,
In his off time,
262
00:11:22,734 --> 00:11:26,434
Plays first-person
Police-shooting games.
263
00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:27,934
Really?
264
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:30,934
Wouldn't it be third, though?
265
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:32,267
Third person?
266
00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:35,334
Because he's
Yeaha police officer?
267
00:11:35,434 --> 00:11:38,033
Wait. Third person is --
They...
268
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:40,701
I'm garcia,
And i am going --
269
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,734
No, it's still first person
'Cause he's there.
270
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:45,033
Can you give a description
About what the --
271
00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:48,767
Well, it was
A very long,
272
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:53,601
Kind of like a pink -- nude,
Pink garden hose.
273
00:11:53,701 --> 00:11:56,834
So it was real skinny?
It was real skinny.
274
00:11:56,934 --> 00:11:58,934
And it wasn't pointing
Downwards,
275
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:00,400
It was going outwards?
276
00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:01,868
Well, at first.
277
00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:03,834
Funny you should ask.
Funny you should ask.
278
00:12:03,934 --> 00:12:07,534
It started south,
And then it just goes right up,
279
00:12:07,634 --> 00:12:11,167
Pointing at me like,
"Hey, you, you're in my way."
280
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:13,067
How long did this whole episode
Take?
281
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,367
Oh, less than probably
20 seconds.
282
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:18,767
So, we're talking...
Right there at you.
283
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,968
It was like emeril going,
"Bam!" With his garlic.
284
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,634
If i was on my knees, again,
285
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:25,033
It would have been right here,
And then, again,
286
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:26,634
The burberry coat was opened up.
287
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:29,367
You didn't say it was
A burberry coat.
288
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,100
Oh, excuse me.
I overlooked that.
289
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,100
You don't see a lot
Of burberry in reno.
290
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,968
You see a lot
Of members only.
291
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:36,801
And i tell you what, ma'am --
292
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:39,067
We are gonna tell you that
We are gonna try our best.
293
00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:40,767
That's what we're
Gonna tell you.
294
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:42,901
We'll try our best.
295
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,067
Thank you.
296
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,801
We aim to try.
297
00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:47,534
We aim to try --
That's our motto.
298
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,901
That's what our motto
Is becoming.
299
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,734
How we doing, guys?
300
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,834
Good. We read you.
We read you.
301
00:12:52,934 --> 00:12:54,133
Check your mike.
302
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,834
Check.
Check, 1, 2.
303
00:12:56,934 --> 00:12:58,934
We read you.
We read you. Okay.
304
00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:06,267
We got deputy jones here running
A prostitution sting,
305
00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:08,868
And as soon as he gets her
To say that she will...
306
00:13:08,968 --> 00:13:12,801
Have sex with him for money,
We will swoop in.
307
00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:14,200
Jones: relax.
308
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:17,367
Uh...Let me close
The door here.
309
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,968
I'm gonna take this off
If you don't mind.
310
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,901
Oh, sure. Why not?
Yeah. Relax.
311
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,834
God, you are
Really pretty.
312
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,367
You're really,
Really pretty.
313
00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:28,467
You're really cute.
Thank you.
314
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:31,300
You're really cute.
Thank you.
315
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,000
I walked in here,
And i was like -- whoo!
316
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,701
Did you feel that,
Too?
317
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,133
When you walked in,
I was just like,
318
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,534
"Wow, that's a breath
Of fresh air."
319
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:41,968
It's close.
320
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:44,300
"Love you.
Here's money for sex."
321
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,067
Your legs are so cut.
322
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:48,000
What do you do
For a living?
323
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:50,534
I'm a gym teacher.
324
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:51,901
What the hell?
325
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,534
Woman:
What grade do you teach?
326
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,601
Jones:
Uh, 4th grade through 8th.
327
00:13:56,701 --> 00:13:59,601
And i make a lot of money,
And here is some of it for sex.
328
00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:01,534
Do you want
A foot massage?
329
00:14:01,634 --> 00:14:03,067
You would give me
A foot massage? Oh, yeah, yeah.
330
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,601
I mean, come on.
331
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,701
You are never gonna figure
Those shoes out, buster.
332
00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:09,067
I will -- oh, jeez.
333
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,801
It's his achilles heel --
White girls with a big backyard.
334
00:14:16,901 --> 00:14:19,667
[ Siren wailing ]
335
00:14:19,767 --> 00:14:23,234
I need some cashew chicken
And...
336
00:14:23,334 --> 00:14:26,200
What else did we want?
Won tons?Mm-hmm.
337
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:30,834
It's like watching a damn porno
With all the porno cut out.
338
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:34,267
Hey, happy 15 years to me.
339
00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:36,968
Oh, that's right,
I forgot.
340
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,601
Happy 15th anniversary.
341
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:39,901
Yeah.
342
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,667
15 years of my [bleep] life...
343
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:47,334
And here i am
With my "buddies."
344
00:14:47,434 --> 00:14:50,734
Hey, you've had a very good
15-year run.
345
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:52,367
You're a good cop,
Garcia.
346
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:56,834
You've done --
Well...You've done a lot.
347
00:14:56,934 --> 00:14:58,701
Yeah?
What have i done, dangle?
348
00:14:58,801 --> 00:15:01,667
You, uh...
349
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,367
Done a lot of good.
350
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,100
You know what i done, dangle?
351
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,133
You figured -- you figured out
That new hand drier
352
00:15:09,234 --> 00:15:11,000
We got at the station.
353
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:14,434
Nobody else was
Gonna push it, no.
354
00:15:14,534 --> 00:15:16,200
You know what i did, dangle?
355
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:19,267
I managed to piss off an ex-wife
356
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:24,133
And make a daughter
Not write me for 10 years.
357
00:15:24,234 --> 00:15:25,567
You have a daughter?
358
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,467
Had.
359
00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:30,667
Come on, cheer up.
Let's bust a hooker, all right?
360
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:33,334
[ Knock on door ]
361
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:36,434
Um, guys...Bad news.
362
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:38,634
She's not an escort.
363
00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:41,234
Oh, [bleep]
364
00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:42,667
She isn't.
365
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,634
I'm just gonna --
She's a good kid.
366
00:15:45,734 --> 00:15:47,167
I'm just gonna get her home,
367
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:50,334
Take her to the cab,
Get a taxi,
368
00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:54,467
Get her home,
But could i get 350 bucks?
369
00:15:57,334 --> 00:16:00,400
Garcia having a daughter was
Absolutely a news flash to me.
370
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,534
Really?
You knew that?
371
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:05,868
He talks endlessly
In the car about it.
372
00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:09,367
The part i don't understand
Is that there's a woman who...
373
00:16:09,467 --> 00:16:12,801
Would make
The sex act with him.
374
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:14,467
The effort, yeah.
375
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:15,868
Not even the effort --
376
00:16:15,968 --> 00:16:18,767
Even be present
For sex with garcia.
377
00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:21,601
Can you imagine how angry
That sex would be?Oh, god.
378
00:16:21,701 --> 00:16:24,033
You ever heard him
In the john --
379
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:27,501
When garcia's in the john
Just making a deuce?
380
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:28,634
Hey.
381
00:16:28,734 --> 00:16:30,534
It's like normandy.
382
00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:33,100
Reno sheriff department!
383
00:16:39,434 --> 00:16:42,067
Hello, sir.
Are you gene labelle?
384
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,934
Yes, ma'am.
385
00:16:44,033 --> 00:16:45,934
Um, we have a warrant
For your arrest.
386
00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:49,100
I'm afraid you're gonna have
To come with us, sir.
387
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,100
Okay, i'll be glad to.
388
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,334
All right.
389
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:56,901
Can i put on my pants
And a hat?
390
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,267
Will you please put
Your pants on?
391
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:01,968
I think that would
Be fine, sir.
392
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:03,234
We're gonna come on in
And wait.
393
00:17:03,334 --> 00:17:04,601
Yeah, come on in.
394
00:17:04,701 --> 00:17:06,901
My home is your home.
Thank you, sir.
395
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,834
He's not gonna go
Anywhere.
396
00:17:10,934 --> 00:17:12,834
Nice house.
397
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:15,300
Ooh, chips.
398
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,033
Hmm.
399
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,968
You'll never get me alive,
Bitches!
400
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:22,133
Ohh! Ohh!
401
00:17:22,234 --> 00:17:24,267
Hey!
402
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:25,734
Get him!
403
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:27,367
Mr. Labelle!
404
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:30,501
You can't -- sir,
You're evading arrest!
405
00:17:30,601 --> 00:17:32,467
That's illegal, sir!
406
00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:34,100
Get him!
407
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,734
I will hunt you down and beat
The living crap out of you!
408
00:17:37,834 --> 00:17:40,601
I have to wait till
He runs out of gas!
409
00:17:40,701 --> 00:17:44,033
Garcia has a daughter?
410
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,834
Uh...
411
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:51,167
I had no idea.
412
00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:54,067
I had no idea.
413
00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:57,434
I would imagine...
414
00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:01,267
She must have a humpback
Or something.
415
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,501
[ Siren wailing ]
416
00:18:04,601 --> 00:18:06,334
Could i get my
Friend here a --
417
00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:07,901
Get him a --
Get him a --
418
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Champagne room!
Champagne room!
419
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,400
Why don't we go to the park
420
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:17,033
And beat up
Some of them pot dealers?
421
00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:19,033
Hey, you love that!
You love that!
422
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,167
A little stick time.
423
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,834
You love that!
424
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,934
I don't know what's going on
Inside that old caboose here.
425
00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:26,167
I just, uh --
426
00:18:26,267 --> 00:18:28,767
Summer, cinnamon, diamond,
Everybody here --
427
00:18:28,868 --> 00:18:32,467
We want to celebrate
15 years of james --
428
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,767
You have a middle name,
Right?
429
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:37,267
Oswaldo.
Huh?
430
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,367
Oswaldo.
431
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:42,000
Yes. O-s-w-a-l-d-o --
Oswaldo.
432
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:45,000
James oswaldo garcia.
433
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,801
Whoo!
Whoo!Whoo!Whoo!
434
00:18:46,901 --> 00:18:49,200
Hear! Hear!
435
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:52,701
Excuse me.
You're james oswaldo garcia?
436
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:55,033
Yes, ma'am, i am.
437
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,400
Daddy, it's me!
438
00:18:56,501 --> 00:18:59,767
Trina!
439
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:02,334
How are you, daddy?!
440
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:04,934
Oh, my -- oh, my god!
Trina!
441
00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:08,033
How have you been?!
It's so good to see you!
442
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:11,334
Oh! Oh, my god!
443
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:12,701
How have you been?
444
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,167
What has it been,
Like, 10 years?
445
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:16,167
Trina, man, you're
All grown up
446
00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:18,167
Look at you!
447
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:18,968
How are you?
448
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:21,167
This is
My daughter!
449
00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:23,467
We work with
Your dad.
450
00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:31,367
[ Siren wailing ]
451
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:34,067
This is very sweet.
452
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:36,868
What a happy reunion.
453
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:40,200
I don't think i've ever
Seen him this happy.
454
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,968
I've never seen him happy,
Really.
455
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,834
How much did you have
To pay that girl
456
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,734
To say that she
Was his daughter?
457
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:47,834
80 bucks.
458
00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:51,434
80 bucks?
That ain't bad.
459
00:19:51,534 --> 00:19:53,267
Pretty cheap.
460
00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:56,501
Forfeit.
461
00:19:56,601 --> 00:19:59,167
[ Indistinct conversations ]
462
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,701
What he don't know
Won't hurt him.
463
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,400
Are you okay
To drive?
464
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:06,400
Uh...
465
00:20:06,501 --> 00:20:07,868
Yeah, i'm okay to drive.
466
00:20:07,968 --> 00:20:09,234
You want me to drive?
467
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,067
No, i'm fine.
I'm just a little --
468
00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:12,734
How much you had
To drink?
469
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:14,234
I had -- what did i have?
470
00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:16,801
I had 11 beers
471
00:20:16,901 --> 00:20:19,334
And i had
A couple of cosmopolitans.
472
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:20,834
I'm fine.
473
00:20:20,934 --> 00:20:22,400
I'm good.
474
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,200
You got whip-its?
475
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,901
Yeah. Watch the door.
476
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,334
I'll do some whip-its.
477
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:43,367
You okay?
478
00:20:43,467 --> 00:20:44,734
Yeah, i'm fine.
479
00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:46,667
I haven't done whip-its
In a coon's age.
480
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,267
Where's the lights?
I'm really [bleep] up.
481
00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:51,400
What did you say?
482
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,000
Coon's age?
483
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,868
That's an expression.
484
00:20:54,968 --> 00:20:56,868
It's not a black thing.
485
00:20:56,968 --> 00:20:58,501
What does it mean?
486
00:20:58,601 --> 00:21:00,801
I don't know.
It just means "coon's age."
487
00:21:00,901 --> 00:21:02,934
All i said was i haven't done
Whip-its in a coon's age.
488
00:21:02,984 --> 00:21:07,534
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