Original subtitles

FRAGILE

- The Five Nudes of Cairo'? - Then you are familiar with the painting?

- Only from reading. - Possibly our most important acquisition.

It represents the absolute *peak* of Fouchard's career.

and it was actually painted on Egyptian ground ...

during the building of the... Suez Canal

I see your reading must be quite extensive.

The work does have a rather colourful history

We have good reason to believe this is what the thief was after

Which is why I insist we must remove it from display...

and place it in the vault immediately...

or give it to Mr. Steele for safe-keeping.

Out of the question. The insurance company will only cover us...

if the painting remains in the museum.

Besides, the exhibit is due to open tomorrow...

The promotion, the media campaign...

We're simply too close to stop all that.

Mr. Steele, please explain to this philistine...

that if we lose this painting there will be no exhibit!

Now spare us your precious temper, Achmed.

The alarm system proved effective enough...

and I'm confident Mr. Steele *knows* how to catch a thief.

Alarm systems?

I tell you, Steele, this thief will not sleep until the...

'Nudes' are in his arms.

Yes, well I appreciate your mutual concern of the situation gentlemen.

however, I'm afraid there is nothing my agency can do for you.

- What? - I'd only be too glad to suggests...

some others if you'd like.

But you come so highly recommended.

I realize the money may be less than you're accustomed...

It's not the money, Edward, It's the curse, isn't it?

This isn't really necessary. It was only a small dent.

I said I'd pay for it... I'm very late. I said I'd pay for it.

Just tell it to the insurance company.

Oh, ah excuse me.

Oh, I believe the moving violation is yours too.

You'll have to call my insurance company and pay for this...

but before that I want to know what my schedule looks like this week.

You know, the museum people are already in there pouring out their problems to...

- I thought I asked you about my schedule. - Yes, ma'am.

Ahh, the schedule, this week:

light to moderate, scattered lunches.

Not good enough. By punch-out time *today*...

I want it wall-to-wall. Understand?

You're right, 'Have a nice day' has lost all its meaning.

Surely Mr. Steele you don't subscribe to all that superstitious nonsense.

Not in so many words.

Ah Miss Holt, my associate, gentlemen.

Edward Coxworth, I believe it was you I spoke with on the 'phone.

- Yes, of course. - And our curator, Achmed Khalil.

A pleasure. Particularly if you can...

help persuade Mr. Steele to accept our cause.

I beg your pardon?

Well, I had the impression from our 'phone conversation that...

your agency could help us...

but Mr. Steele feels his case load is already overwhelming.

- Does he really? - Ah, well...

What with the Murphy affair and the Wolfe case.

Ah yes, the Wolfe case. Well, as a matter of fact...

some urgent has *just* come up.

If you could spare a moment of your time, sir

With your permission, gentlemen.

- You turned them DOWN?! - Believe me, Laura, we want no part of this one.

Falling in love with our letterhead *again*, are we?

Since when do you decide which cases *I'm* going to take?

This picture has a very *nasty* background. I was only thinking of the agency.

Well, the agency has bills to pay and a reputation to maintain.

Surely then there's a missing person we can find?

- 'Fraid not. - An unsolved murder that's...

baffled the finest minds in law enforcement?

Fresh out.

A child, weeping for its' lost cocker spaniel.

- Really. - Laura...

I realize we haven't known each other very long...

and that refusing this case may cost the agency a great deal.

Nonetheless, with no questions asked, no explanations demanded...

I'm simply asking that you accept my instincts...

about this on faith and... trust me.

Well, I'm pleased that you could see your way clear to help us.

A case simply too compelling to ignore.

- And apparently a most persuasive associate. - We'll be expecting you soon.

Come, Achmed.

Has Murphy come up with that museum research I asked for?

I...

Miss Wolfe, does it strike you that Laura seems unusually, ah...

Wired, cranky, bent out of shape?

In a word. Any reason for the cause?

Well, she did ask me to overload her schedule once before...

- when she was expecting... - Somebody call for the car...

Tell him I need to see him as soon as he can get to us.

Don't ask.

As usual, you've been an enormous help, Miss Wolfe

Laura, I don't mean to pry but if something's happened...

I'm fine and we've got work to do.

But you're...

Look, I don't know what your problem with this case is...

but you're beginning to sound a lot like my...

Hello? Anybody home?

Mother.

Mother?

Laura, dear.

Still have to wear your hair up, I see.

Hello, Mother, you know I would have picked you up from the airport.

Oh, well, it's all right. I mean, the cab drivers have get to rich on somebody's money.

- Ah, you remember Bernice. - Por supuesto.

- Oh yes, it's been so long. You're well? - Very.

And who might this be?

Who?

ah, um, oh, this is...

- Remington Steele. - So, you're Laura's mother.

- At last, I get to meet her boss. - Heard a lot about me, have you?

- Not really.

- I'm afraid we have to run right now.

Bernice can get you settled at the house.

- Perhaps we can have dinner together. - Splendid idea.

I know just the place. In fact, the very table.

- Oh - Don't you have some previous engagement...

- Mr. Steele? - Oh, I'll cancel it, whoever it is.

- Until then ah... - Abigail.

- Abigail. - We mustn't be late Mr. Steele.

You know, these offices aren't really bad at all.

You mean to tell me you haven't spent any time at all with your mother...

in nearly three years?

We don't communicate very well. Thank you.

It appears as if the thief came in through that skylight up there....

got a rope over the rafter and disconnected the floor alarm here.

But she gave you life, nurtured you from infancy.

- Can we just *drop* it please? - The case?

- My mother! - Sorry.

I never realized she was such a jolt to your equilibrium.

There's nothing wrong with my...

Excuse me.

Steele, here is that device used on the laser system.

I assume the alarms on the outside of the building were cut by the thief as well?

No, I don't think so but I'll have them checked.

Come, please, the painting is this way.

With the exhibition only a day away...

we thought it best not to inform the police.

If the choice were mine I'd cancel it all together...

and lock the Fouchard away. Alas.

Ah, my assistant, Katherine Simone, Miss Holt.

- Hello. - How do you do?

- Mr. Steele. - Thank you for responding so quickly.

It was Katherine who first suggested your agency to us.

You say the alarm in this room is what stopped him?

What kind of alarm was it?

Forgive me, but our insurance company forbids us revealing...

Yes, of course, we understand.

We knew when we acquired the 'Nudes' there would be trouble.

- The curse. - The curse?

The women's religion forbids them from appearing nude...

in front of any man except their husband.

Somehow Fouchard managed to get them to pose for him.

I need to see you, alone. Tonight.

- Where? - I'll find you.

The reigning pasha got wind of this so...

he tried to have the picture destroyed.

but it was smuggled out of the country, so he placed a curse...

on any one who dared to possess it.

Sounds rather bizarre, doesn't it?

Not to the last five owners, they were all killed; Accidentally, of course.

Shall we all proceed this way?

Katherine, wasn't it?

And I always thought Felicia suited you so much better.

You're hardly one to talk of names, Mr. Steele.

- Have you missed me? - Whenever possible.

Poetic that the 'Nudes' should bring us back together again, isn't??

Don't tell me, let me guess,

- you're here to steal it. - No, darling, you are.

Mr. Steele? Would you care to join us?

- Remarkable sculptor, that Rodin, - It's a Catelli.

Still love it.

Miss Holt?

Mother, you don't have to clean my bathroom. It will aggravate your asthma.

Oh, well, you know how I hate mess,

Have you spoken to Frances recently?

I called her on her birthday, all right?

- But did you *really* listen to her? - Mother...

Your sister has done very well for herself Laura.

You could take a lesson from her.

Do you know that her husband Donald's...

company now owns *twelve* athletic footwear stores

I stopped counting at seven.

Well, do you have any idea how far the jogging shoe has come in the last five years.

I have to go answer the door, now mother.

Always running somewhere.

- Hello, partner. - Hi.

I got the background information on that painting you asked for.

- So where's your mother? - Cleaning the bathroom.

- You made your mother clean the bathroom? - I didn't make...

Look, just give me the highlights, all right.

Okay.

All right, 'The Five Nudes of Cairo'...

They've been through a lot of hands...

and yes, most of them are not around to talk about it any more.

But get this, apparently six years ago...

the painting was stolen from a private collector by a woman...

and a guy calling himself 'Michael O'Leary'.

- Ring any bells? - Michael O'Leary.

Wait a minute.

When we first investigated our priceless Remington Steele...

didn't we come across five passports with five different names?

- One of them was for a... - Michael O'Leary.

- But you're not seriously suggesting... - Think about it.

If he really is a thief, what better place...

for him to watch for a big score to come along than in a detective agency.

But he didn't even want us to take the case.

Less interference that way. I'm telling you, Laura...

he's been waiting for an opportunity like this

and there's nothing to keep him from lifting the canvas...

and leaving *our* agency to take the rap for it.

He's STOLEN it once already.

I think you're jumping to conclusions.

I know him better than that.

No, you don't.

Then we'll *both* try and keep an open-mind about it.

In the meantime, I want you to run a check on the museum's employees.

Those outside alarms weren't cut so...

whoever went after that painting already had access to the museum.

Okay. And you call me if you need me all right?

Is your mother really in there cleaning the bathroom?

She has a loving husband with a *thriving* business.

I'm *thrilled* for Frances.

Why, is it so awful, to settle down with someone like Donald?

Because I don't want to marry a pair of *jogging* shoes. That's why.

Who's asking for that? There are other alternatives, you know.

- Do *you* really mean that? - Of course

Take your Mr. Steele for instance. I bet there's a catch and a half.

Mother, men aren't *fish* any more.

and my line isn't out there to *hook* a *big* one and reel him in.

Well, your line has to be somewhere.

I'm a licensed private investigator, remember?

I only wish I understood exactly what that is.

Are you coming upstairs with me or not?

No, thank you, I will just sit here...

and wait and collect myself.

Ah, Laura. Isn't ah, Abigail with you??

She's downstairs in the car.

Sorry I'm not dressed yet.

Wonderful. Pleasant, ah reunion?

Just peachy. Do you have any aspirin?

I was just curious why you were so anxious not to take this case.

Why... the curse, of course.

You never struck me before as the superstitious type.

A minor flaw in an otherwise 'Stainless Steele'.

For some it's, ah, walking under ladders...

black cats, opening umbrellas indoors.

For you, it just *happens* to be paintings with curses.

Particularly those with a track record.

Tell me, how do feel about, Irish names.

Any favourites?

Irish names, Irish names, mmm,

I once knew an O'Casey I was rather fond of.

How about an O'Leary?

Remington, be a dear and fix me another one of your...

♪fabulous♪... Oh I'm sorry, darling.

I didn't realize you were expecting someone else.

I'm a touch surprised myself.

Miss... Bolt isn't it?

- Holt. - Is she here on business...

or did you have something wicked in mind?

Shame I didn't know about it sooner. Sounds like fun...

but I have my mother downstairs.

Ooh, that's too kinky for my blood.

Well I, -I won't hold up the action any longer.

I'll give mother your apologies, Mr. Steele.

Laura, would you believe me if I said I had absolutely no idea...

how that woman got into my bedroom or my bathrobe?

- Not a chance! - Yup! Just thought I ask.

Formidable entrance, Felicia.

- Wasn't it, though? - What, the front door too traditional for you?

Too dangerous. There are some desperate men looking for me right now.

So you thought you'd pop in and tell me all about it.

Well, the evening does seem to be ours now, doesn't it?

Miss, Miss, please, get the door.

Thanks very much.

Hey, I hate to bother you again, but is that your car out there?

- I think it's blocking our van. - My daughter parked it there.

- I'll move it for you. - Thanks a lot.

That's a really big help, I really appreciate that.

So, you swindled a small fortune from this Guttman character, is that it?

I had every intention of paying him back in Monte Carlo...

with interest, but dice can be so cruel.

You know, he threatened me with rather grisly results...

if I didn't find a way to make amends.

Why do it with 'The Five Nudes of Cairo'?

As I recall, the insurance company...

we recovered it for showed their gratitude by *not* paying us."

Sentimental reasons. I just happen to chance upon a...

photograph of the famous Remington Steele....

And when the painting happened to be in the same city...

- Kismet. - I knew you'd be only too willing...

to help if I lost my footing..

¿Debes vestirte?

You know Felicia, I detect a note of blackmail in your voice.

Well, it sounds so tacky when you put it like that.

Instead why don't we simply steal the painting together again...

Disappear to some place decadent and *brush* up on our bacchanalian whirl.

I'm afraid I'm all whirled out these days.

Well, surely being Remington Steele can't be all that much fun?

You'd be surprised.

But I'd so hate to expose him to the world as a fraud. What an awful flap.

And that lovely associate of yours? Won't she, be...

♪crushed♪ when she finds out you're not really Remington Steele?.

Mortally, I'm sure.

Well then, have we reached an understanding?

It seems you've left me with little choice.

Hardly, the choices are just beginning.

You know, darling, if I didn't know you...

better I'd say some woman's finally caught you by the heart.

What makes you say a ridiculous thing like that?

Well you hardly seemed glad to see me at all.

But it's not just that.

There's a new feel about you, as if you've been .....

- What? - Smitten.

Excuse me.

- Abigail. - I like to consider myself a patient person...

Mr. Steele, but if Laura thinks she can *leave* me SITTING down there by myself...

You mean she's not with you?

Well, Felicia, you disappoint me.

First you fail to deliver the painting...

on time and then you go running to a *famous* detective.

You fool! This is not her!

Oh no, Guttman. You're not getting out of paying me this time.

But you've snatched the wrong WOMAN.

You told me to grab the woman in Steele's apartment, right?

Well, this woman came out of *that* apartment and I grabbed her.

I should know better than to hire a man who pumps iron for a living.

Hey, my body is my temple, so you just lay off.

Well this is not Felicia but she might know something.

- I want you to make her talk. - Well, that will cost you extra.

No, it won't. I'll just, call a cab or -something.

Grab her, Sherman.

- What's happening? - I don't know. She can't breathe.

Well, get her some water.

My purse.

SHERMAN!

ALQUILER DE AUTOS Y CAMIONETAS

Laura has always been a very sensitive girl. My middle one.

We had a fight in the car on the way over and I guess that's why she left.

I'm afraid she was rather out of sorts with me, as well

I remember one time we thought she'd run away from home.

- But you found her? - Yes, in the laundry hamper.

I already checked.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Mr. Steele...

but the truth is, I just cannot bear to tell Laura's grandmother....

what she really does.

No? What do you tell her instead?

That's she's a dental assistant...

With great prospects of marriage.

Is that awful of me, to create a complete fiction about someone, like that?

Sounds more like a family trait.

I did it! I got away!

Pay the cab driver! What's here?

What have I got?

Mother! Mr. Steele.

Laura, look at YOU!

Mother, you should have SEEN me. I was BRILLIANT!

Laura, Mr. Steele was kind enough to ask us to dinner...

You DISAPPEAR for over two hours...

show up looking like this and call it brilliant?

Well I certainly don't.

Mother, you don't understand! DAMN!

Try to be patient with her, Laura...

It's more than she expects from a dental assistant.

WHAT?

The cab driver.

Here, keep the change.

You had some sort of mishap. Are you all right?

I was kidnapped by someone named...

GUTTMAN coming out of your apartment.

I knew we shouldn't have accepted this case.

What do you know about this?

But it's not too late. We could still drop it and take off for a brief vacation...

- New Zealand perhaps? - *I* asked you a question.

- Now, Laura, it's important that that you... not jump to any hasty conclusions. - Who is this Guttman and...

- This is a most *dangerous* situation ... - ... what does he know about this woman Felicia?

- I nearly got my NECK BROKEN TONIGHT ... - ... and mutual trust is absolutely essential for us all to survive in one piece.

...so please try to have a LITTLE FAITH!

Khalil.

It's the curse.

Is he-?

I'm afraid so.

- Laura? - Oh God! This isn't happening.

My mother's NOT going to find a dead body in my house.

- Laura? - Hello, mother.

Laura, I'm sorry I lost my head a moment ago...

but... not, -not that I forgive your behaviour...

but it was wrong of me to say so in front of your employer.

- That's all right, mother. - I know...

but I feel I owe Mr. Steele an apology as well.

Oh no. It *really* isn't necessary.

- I think it is. - But Mr. Steele is with a client right now.

- Here? At this hour? - Ah, he just- dropped in.

Well, it will only take a moment,

- I'm sure he'll understand. - Mother!

Fascinating piece of evidence, Achmed, hmm?

Ah, Abigail, Laura.

Is there something I can do for you?

No. No, no. I just wanted to apologize for my little outburst a while ago.

Barely remembered it. Would you care to join us?

No. It's been a *very* difficult evening.

I think I'll just turn in. Good night, Mr. Steele. Good night, dear.

Good night, mother.

- Oh and ah, good night to you Mr... - Khalil.

Sleep well.

Pardon?

I hope you know what's going on...

because our *titular* head 'phoned me at six this morning...

with a *hell* of a shopping list.

Look at that.

A hundred feet of nylon rope, six pounds of marbles ...

A spear-gun?

He told me to go out and rent a dark station wagon with a big engine.

Have you come up with anything more on the museum staff?

So far they all check out okay.

And what about the assistant curator?

Katherine Simone?

She's only worked for the museum a couple of months.

- I'd have to dig a littler deeper. - Dig.

- What am I looking for? - Felicia.

And see what you can find out about someone named Guttman

How long are you going to let this go on, Laura?

I don't know.

- I'm troubled. - If it's about Khalil, don't be.

The police found him in a 'phone booth...

Not far from where you live, actually

Thank you. But that doesn't really alter the situation.

Which, ah, situation is that?

I'm no longer sure our arrangement...

is in the best interests of this agency.

- We're close to that point, are we? - Perilously.

Is there anyway back from the edge?

You MIGHT try an explanation of your actions.

Suppose I said I was only out to protect the good of the agency.?

I wish I could believe that, keep trying.

How about- an old lover, in desperate trouble...

has suddenly reappeared and is blackmailing me into criminal behaviour.?

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Are you really telling me the truth??

- I think I'm trying. - Well I think I need *more* than that.

Something, some statement or gesture that indicates you appreciate....

the gravity of this situation.

How about stealing the painting with me tonight?

That wasn't it.

- This can't be it. - Look, I know it sounds twisted...

but it does make a certain amount of sense.

Laura, we were hired to *catch* the thief.

And the thief is after the painting,

so if we have it, then the thief is forced to come to us.

But what if HE'S the THIEF?

Then I'd be the last person he'd ask to help him, right?

Well, who knows with this guy? I mean, you said yourself he's twisted.

Well, I can't very well go to the museum or the police...

and tell them we suspect the head of our *own* agency now, can I?

At least this way, I know what he's doing and where the painting is.

Look, just don't turn your back on him.

Turn back? Nonsense. We're right on schedule. Ready?

Keep the engine warm and the eyes sharp, old chap.

I know *exactly* what to do, old chap...

And so help me, if you split one hair too many and I'll do it.

Nice to know the backup's there.

How do we get in? The roof? The window? The sub-basement?

I thought the service entrance would be simpler.

A little going away present from Khalil.

SERVICE ENTRANCE

They've put on a lot of extra guards.

That just may come in handy.

Come on.

There's the alarm box.

We'll never get through that in time.

Maybe we'd better take a rain check on this.

Hand me that spear-gun.

Spear-gun?

Here, pull this through... Gently.

- You've done this before, haven't you? - What makes you think that?

Stimulating, wasn't it?

Different. Shall we continue?

I was hoping you'd say that.

What's that?

An excellent cognac. Care for a touch?

No, I couldn't.

Well, maybe just a touch.

- To our first time, eh? - To our only time.

I don't intend to make this a frequent aspect of our work.

Pity, really. There are so few forms of true intimacy left.

This isn't a *date*, you know.

Certainly beats a night in the laundry hamper.

How are we going to get through those lasers?

I'm sure they've re-shielded that other alarm as well.

I thought we'd ask the monsters to escort us.

Wind.

No sir, I'm not playing my radio anymore.

Yes sir, everything is fine sir.

Right. Okay.

Nobody stifles Stakosovky.

Won't they start searching for someone now?

Eventually.

But most museum guards hesitate to report...

an army of little green monsters

marching at them. Looks bad on their record.

You know, you're *very* good at this.

I think you just made my evening.

And here was I beginning to think you didn't like me.

I do. Some.

- But not all? - Only the parts I know.

- And the parts you don't? - They frighten me a little.

Fear can be a most intoxicating brew.

- Promise me something. - What?

Never tell my mother about this.

Hey, Flick! Come here. Get a look at these.

I truly hate for this to end but I think it's time we parted company.

- What! - I'm still guessing...

about the alarm around the painting itself.

If I'm wrong and it goes off I may need you in another room to create a diversion.

But don't you want any help to get around it or something?

I suspect it's some sort of *heat* sensitive device....

In which case, ah, two warm bodies will only set it off that much faster.

I really think we should stay together.

You almost sound as if you didn't trust me.

No sir, now look, I, I ,I I, have *not* been drinking.

Now the other guys can verify that.

Right? RIGHT?

Hello again, my lovelies.

Do try and be gentle with me this time.

Cover up ladies, you're liable to catch a chill.

I was always a cut above the rest, don't you think?

Ah, no sir, I ah, *didn't* turn off the alarm.

Come on you guys. Get out there! Now, spread out, will you.

Quick, they've got the painting. Follow them. They went out that way.

Well, well. We caught one.

Now go turn off the alarm. Andando, nena.

- But I can explain everything. - Oh sure,

I've got somebody who wants to listen to that story too.

Hey, you, go check the grounds. There might be another one.

HEY! GET GOING!

Thank you for posting the bail,

I fed your fish. And your refrigerator was half-full...

so I, picked up some things at the supermarket.

and there were some messages on your machine.

MOTHER! I just spent the night in jail!

That would have been all right in the sixties. *Everyone's* children went to jail in the sixties!

MY TIMING IS LOUSY.

Are you all right? I mean, I ... I have *read* about women in prison.

Laura! Sorry I didn't get here any sooner...

but I spent the night looking for -somebody.

- Hello, Murphy. - Hello, Mrs. Holt. Are you all right?

- I think so. - I think so.

This someone you're looking for ... you don't mean...

I told you this was going to happen.

- He set us up. - Who?

- Maybe ... - Maybe? No.

He's gone, Laura. How much more do you need?

There might *still* be a good explanation

- For what? - What are you protecting him for?

- I'm only thinking of the agency! - Just...

me dices. what exactly went on in there last night?

Ah! You know about women in prison too, don't you,

Miss Holt, Since midnight, I've been trying without success...

to reach Mr. Steele.

♪You♪, on the other hand, are painfully easy to locate.

Mr. Coxworth, I assure you there is a good ...

a *very* good explanation for this.

Explanation? My curator has been murdered....

A painting worth several million dollars...

has disappeared and the exhibit around it is set to open in a few hours.

I assure you the agency is doing *everything* in its' power ......

Power? You and that agency, Miss Holt, are in no position to assure anything.

What your actions lack in competence they may yet make up for by being criminal!

- I beg your pardon - Mrs. Holt...

How dare you talk to her like that?

I mean, Laura may have her faults...

but she's INCOMPETENT and she is CERTAINLY not a criminal!

- Who is this woman? - She is an intelligent and capable young woman...

... and whatever your problems may be, they give you no call to slander her.

- Mother. MOTHER, PLEASE! - ... There are *laws* against that ,you know.

Mr. Coxworth, You hired Mr. Steele...

because of his impeccable reputation.

That was before I knew he took on relatives.

I *still* suggest that you should reserve judgment until Mr. Steele...

PERSONALLY can present us with all the facts.

Never mind who this is...

If the department is interested in finding Khalil's murderer...

you'll proceed at once to the address I gave you.

His name is Guttman, and his car is a silver four-door of a...

German persuasion.

In it you'll find some of Khalil's personal effects...

If not the murder weapon itself.

Funny, I could have sworn this was my car.

Ah well, my mistake.

Well, Mr. Steele...

when dealing with 'The Five Nudes of Cairo'...

one can't be too careful.

- So I gathered, - You called and promised me the painting...

But it doesn't seem to be in your apartment.

Let's *all* go some place quiet.

You don't mind driving, do you?

I prefer to walk, actually.

But I'm flexible.

Fasten your seat-belts, please.

I mean, do you have any idea...

what Mr. Steele might say if he hears about this?

- Nothing? - Not on this end.

Murphy still out looking?

- I put some fresh clothes in your office. - Right.

- I'll go back to his apartment and check. - And there's someone here from the museum to see you.

Oh, not another one.

- Now Laura, if it's from the museum... - Mother, please, please.

Look, ah, call in every hour no matter what, all right?

If we don't find him that's it for us, isn't it?

You really think he's gone for good, too?

Hey, me I'm not worried about.

All I'll lose is a job.

Miss Simone... Or should I say Felicia.

Well then, I guess he's told you everything.

We-elll, not exactly everything.

You know I came here looking for a blue ribbon cat-fight...

but now there hardly seems much point in all that scratching and spitting....

I only tried the blackmail gambit

because I needed his help so badly.

To steal the painting?

It was the only way to get Guttman off my back.

The truth is, I never would have exposed him.

- You mean as Michael O'Leary. - Ohh, that's not his real name.

You know what it is?

I doubt there is anyone who knows that,

BUT if across some satin pillow he should happen to tell *you*....

I'll expect a telegram. That much you can let me have.

I don't think you understand.

- Ours is purely... - Oh I understand all right.

He stood *me* up to steal the painting with *you*.

Strange. You never struck me as his type.

Me neither.

- Hello? - Miss Wolfe?

No, she stepped out. Can I help you?

- Abigail? Is that you? - Ah, Mr. Steele.

Abigail, is Laura there?

No, she's in a meeting.

Interrupt her. It's important that I speak to her right away.

- The painting. - If it's about her being in jail last night...

I just want you to know that nothing like this has ever happened before.

I know that she meant well.

It's been a very difficult evening...

and I just don't want you to be upset with her.

I'm not upset with her, Abigail. It's about the painting.

All right. I'll buzz her. Do you know which button to push?

No, I'm afraid I don't. I don't mean to rush you, Abigail, but if...

Tell her to bring it to 7249 Hammett Street.

Did you say something, Mr. Steele?

Would you just hold on and I'll go get her for you.

Abigail, tell Laura to watch out ...

You've already been clever enough for one day, Steele.

Or are you in a rush to join Achmed Khalil?

He rubbed you the wrong way, did he?

He discovered Felicia had lied about her past to become his assistant.

He was going to report her to the authorities.

We couldn't let him do that.

Do suppose we could continue this conversation...

with me the right side up? Hmm?

7249.

What the *hell* is he doing here?

Are you sure this is where he said to meet him?

Not completely. Mother wasn't sure she heard it clearly.

Well, I think it's really sweet...

asking your mother to work with you like that.

I could never do it.

Oh my God.

What happened?!

- Good heavens! - Oh Laura, Felicia.

- We thought for a moment you were... - Just resting actually.

So glad you could join us ladies.

You bought the others with you, I trust.

Ah, hello, Laura.

No. They're not back yet. Did you find him all right?

All right. I'll, I'll go look.

Ah, yes dear. I found it.

What should I do now?

You know, I'll miss you feeding me strawberries on the Riviera....

The wild drives with the top down on the autobahn.

He's shown the mastery of his Tibetan massage, hasn't he?

Not recently,

There's no point in trying to make Miss Holt jealous, Felicia.

Ours is a purely *professional* relationship

She tried to tell me the same thing

A necessary posture for clients, I suppose.

Well, assuming we all walk away from this...

I'll keep your little secret to myself.

Laura, Are you there?

Mother, don't come any further!

Just leave the painting and, and, and LEAVE.

What, dear?

Let go of me! I, I, I beg your pardon!

Oh, Mother.

Oh, I'm so sorry you had to get dragged into this.

- Laura, that man... - What?

He was at Mr. Steele's apartment. He's the one I moved the car for.

Your foolishness has exhausted my patience, Steele!

- You didn't like the painting? - bviously, I'll have to kill again to get it.

Sherman, take your pick.

Mother? Mother!

You don't expect us to fall for that twice.

But she's NOT FAKING! She needs her INHALER! Oh!

No-one moves. I want that painting

You son-of-a...

Hey!

I wouldn't resist any further, gentlemen. Felicia is rather a good shot

Oh, mother, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, oh don't be, don't be darling.

It's all right. I mean, now I know what you REALLY do.

If Miss Holt doesn't have it and neither do you, where is the painting?

In the museum. where it belongs, of course.

Quickly. Get it into its frame.

There is still a chance we can make the opening.

But I don't understand. If you knew where the painting was...

- why didn't you say something?? - Too risky.

Guttman had to believe the picture was...

in our possession or else he never would have come forward.

For you to catch him.

Actually, Miss Holt is responsible for that.

Umm, I was indisposed at the time.

Well, either way, I, I must apologize for being so hard on you...

at the police station.

Now, if you will excuse me...

there are several million things to be done.

I'm afraid I've been a bit hard on someone myself.

Nonsense. Your mother's a strong woman, she'll get over it.

But you could have kept the painting and disappeared.

What made you decide to leave it in the museum?

You're not serious? I don't want 'The Five Nudes of Cairo'.

The picture's got a bloody curse on it!

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