Original subtitles

Try this for a deep, dark secret.

The great detective Remington Steele...

He doesn't exist. I invented him.

Follow... I always loved excitement,

So I studied and apprenticed...

and put my name on an office. HOLT INVESTIGATIONS

But absolutely nobody knocked down my door.

A female private investigator seemed so...... feminine.

So I invented a superior.

A decidedly MASCULINE superior.

Suddenly there were cases around the block.

Working like a charm.

Until the day he walked in...

with his blue eyes and his mysterious past.

And before I knew it, He assumed Remington Steele's identity.

Now I do the work and he takes the bows.

This is a dangerous way to live...

but as long as people buy it, I can get the job done.

We never mix business with pleasure.

Well, almost never.

I don't even know his real name.

Good-bye, George

I thought you were going to join me for the meeting with Emery Arnoch?

That's Arnoch, as in Arnoch Supermarkets?

The super saving supermarket and he's been sitting here for half-an-hour.

Really Laura, don't you think produce peddling...

is a bit far afield for the Remington Steele Agency?

Not when he wants a security profile done on all thirty-two stores.

Still, the thought of you trudging up and down all those aisles....

I like supermarkets, all right?

But it's going to take Arnoch an hour...

or so with the dependable and reassuring Mr. Steele to close the deal for us.

Now am I reaching you?

Well, if you really feel it's important I'll call for the car.

It should be waiting for you by the time you get downstairs.

You know Laura, that's really very thoughtful of you.

I'm twisted that way.

That was Mr. Steele on the car phone and he's most anxious to meet you.

Unfortunately, traffic makes way for no man.

Another refill, perhaps in the interim?

Excuse me sir

Can you tell me where I could please find Mr. Remington Steele?

I'm Steele.

¡Vengan!

¡Andando!

I sensed Laura was upset but this ah, was hardly necessary, was it?

You're not with the agency are you? Yes.

Well then, que pasa?

I'm still waiting for an explanation you know.

Would somebody mind talking to me please.

Maybe we can discuss this over brandy and some tortillas.

Obviously Miss Holt hasn't put you up to this. Do you mind if I smoke, gentlemen?

Very well, if I can't reach you perhaps this can

It may appear to be an ordinary cigarette case...

but in fact it is a Dunhill twenty-two.

and just in case you didn't know... Hold on! Stop or I'll...

Something's wrong, I didn't want to do this. I had no choice, you understand?

They didn't hurt you? They promised me. You're Steele, right?

No, thank you, I don't smoke.

Am I to understand that you arranged this little get together?

They're good boys. They didn't want to do it.

Manuel, Esteban. They clean our offices at night.

I, I, I was desperate you understand. I had no choice.

Who else could I ask?

Secret meetings with a top of the line detective.

I, I sit behind a computer all day,

I'm not programmed for that kind of trouble.

You lack data. Here, read.

"Albie Fervitz, President of Ratooi Games International.".

Who knew five years ago that hacking around in my basement with George...

would turn into three hundred and fifty million worth of 'Star Smash'

You invented it?

Can I tell you something? We were just trying to have fun.

Now look at me, I can't sleep, I can't eat.

Food won't even come near my mouth.

And if my fingernails get any shorter my, my hands are going to need corrective surgery.

You want my help?

Tomorrow afternoon Steele, Ratooi officially merges into Gruff and Reston Industries...

and they're welcome to it.

Except that the night before last I'm down one George Kaplan

- He's missing? - Missing? Gone. Erased.

Blipped right off the screen of life.

I mean, that's not George, Steele. I'm getting heavy mayday signals here.

I mean how to find him before Gruff and Reston.

Yet I'm lying about it.

Major secrecy time, you know.

And you feel certain that there's been foul play. Steele, if you woke up one morning and your right arm...

was suddenly gone you'd know something had to go bump in the night.

Calm yourself Mr. Fervitz, you've done the right thing.

A little clumsy perhaps...

Well, like I said, this is more reality than I'm used to dealing with.

- Now this George... - Kaplan.

Yes, of course. He works for you?

Well his title is vice-president but we really do it all together.

- We? - Izzy, Sheila, George and myself.

We formed Ratooi in grad school.

Whipped up a couple of video games, then 'bammo', the market took off...

and suddenly we're sitting on a company that's producing like the Comstock Load.

Believe me, none of us were prepared for that.

And you think it's connected with, ah, his disappearance.

I don't know. When the universe knows that you're worth more than seven figures...

strange things start to happen.

Men in big, black limousines want to take you to lunch.

Pressure from organized crime, eh? Or a kidnapping for ransom perhaps?

I don't know. It could even be that someone is trying to stop the merger.

With Gruff and Reston Industries you say?

In order to expand production, six months ago we went public.

We started selling stock in Ratooi.

Before we know it Gruff and Reston is picking up every share that they can get their hands on.

If we don't move fast they're going to own more of the company

than we did so we agreed to the merger providing that we all stayed on with the company.

But if Gruff and Reston find out tomorrow...

afternoon at the signing that George is missing the whole deal could collapse.

- I see. - Can you do anything for me, quietly?

Well, I normally function in purely an advisory capacity.

Money's no issue, Steele. Please. I'm running out of buttons to push.

Very well.

If it's George that's missing, it's George we're gonna find, hmm?

No, I don't think I'll call the morgue just yet.

On the other hand, give me the number, I may have something for them in an hour.

Where's Miss Holt? Thank you.

I wouldn't just go in there...

And if he thinks my time is so easily wasted then Mr. Steele is...

Here. And you sir must be Mr. Arnoch.

Dreadfully sorry about the delay...

but the flights from Bogota grow less reliable by the day.

Bogota? I understood you were caught in traffic.

Well, you see... Ah, my staff is instructed to say that whenever I'm out of the country.

Thank you Miss Holt. And now if I might have a word with you in private.

- Now just a minute here... - I really think Mr. Arnoch deserves ...

Just two minutes. Perhaps some coffee while you wait?

- Coffee? - Done. Miss Wolfe will be right in with it.

Thank you very much. Venga.

- You're doing this intentionally aren't you? - Laura, I was abducted by a gang of Latin youths.

Oh please, I like the Bogota story better.

- Two hours I've had to keep stalling him! - But it's true.

What's more I've found us a client.

We already have a cli... or we did until you disappeared on us.

What was it this time? Some unpaid bookie?

- But I'm talking about a man in trouble. - And I'm talking about our arrangement.

We will find the clients, we will do the work.

You just put in an appearance when we need it. Make a good impression.

Why? Why won't you do this?

And let my natural talent for this work go ignored?

- You have no training whatsoever. - But a rare instinct...

- call it a gift if you will. - I won't.

Think of it Laura. The two of us working together,

hand in glove, midnight skull sessions, breathless searches for evidence,

long hours in cramped quarters.

Possibilities are endless.

- We simply can't function like this. - We can try?

Sorry to cut in but I thought you might be interested to know that Arnoch's gone.

Maybe the real thing was too much for him.

I'll try and take that as a compliment.

He's staying at the Beverly Wiltshire, isn't he?

I don't think his flight leaves until 8:15.

Then if we hustle, there's still a chance we can catch him.

- Perfect. It's right on the way, - What's right on the way?

I still have my conscience to consider...

and if you really feel that the agency cannot spare thirty-six hours to help a desperate man....

I'll simply go it alone.

All right, all right Maybe the fact that the job for Arnoch's...

Supermarkets could cover our costs for the next two years

has me a little preoccupied. Compromise... I'll go in there and listen, I underline listen,...

if you promise to go straight to the hotel after that ...

and give Arnoch your best shot.

I knew we could work together,

Okay, now George Kaplan's office is this way. Please...

If Gruff and Reston get so much as a whiff of this...

Hmm, mum's the word.

Maybe you can find something in there to tell us what's happened to him.

- Or where he ran. - We have no proof of that...

and I refuse to listen to such talk.

Oh, Steele, this is Sheila our chief financial officer.

- ¿Qué tal? - Also known as Mrs. Albie Fervitz.

Laura Holt, Mrs. Fervitz. You say that George ran?

Well, I don't think we can rule it out under the circumstances.

Circumstances?

- Do you tell them Albie, or shall I? - You can tell them.

When George didn't show up...

for our regular staff meeting I had to run a weekly audit.

This morning it revealed that five million dollars in liquid assets was missing.

- I see. - We don't know that he took it.

- But what if he did? - Then he was forced to.

Come on, this is George we're talking about here.

- He must be in some kind of trouble. - I'm afraid we're the ones in trouble now Albie.

We've still got till tomorrow afternoon and Steele's here.

- Izzy Webster, our VP of development. - Oh, it's an honor Steele.

- How clumsy of me. - Why, why don't we go ahead on inside,

Geez, excuse me for saying so...

but you don't really smell like ah Remington Steele.

No apologies necessary. I'm Laura Holt, Mr. Steele's associate

Now, what can you tell us about George?

There's not much to tell. George kept pretty much to himself.

You know, the shy, nerdy type. A slave to his keyboard,

- There you go Izzy, okay? - Thank you.

George didn't have any family We were his only friends and, and

He didn't even drive, we practically had to twist his arm to....

get him to buy a condo in Belvedere Towers.

Of course that was the only way we could get him off our couch.

That's enough! Sheila!

This merger is pressing enough without your sniping.

Merger? You mean take-over don't you?

They've only been trying to gobble us up for the past six months....

And now they have.

You say he disappeared the day before yesterday

That's right, why?

Because that page is missing from his desk calendar.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

LV 952.

- Does that mean anything to you? - No.

No? What do you mean 'no'? It must mean something.

At, at least it's a place to start isn't it?

Certainly strikes me as a compelling lead, wouldn't you agree Miss Holt?

It's a distinct possibility.

Miss Holt will be assisting me very closely on this case.

Just as closely as possible, Mr. Steele.

- That's great. - Isn't it though?

LV 952. Sounds like a code doesn't it?

Or perhaps a secret account number.

I'll make it a point to check that out.

Steele, see me tonight. Izzy Webster.

- What's that? - Nothing, it's a shopping list.

Well, where do we go from here?

To Arnoch's hotel. You're going.

I have to make some calls and get back to the office.

Laura, you can't expect me to turn my back on case like this now.

I said I would listen. I listened.

Now you've got just over an hour to keep your promise.

- But surely the whole point... - Arnoch, remember?

Yes, Of course. Arnoch.

What say we drop in at the Belvedere Towers.

My instructions were Mr. Arnoch's hotel.

Just a sight detour. I'll take full responsibility

Please?

Hey partner.

Thanks for getting here so quickly.

No problem. What's this all about?

Don't ask me how...

but I think our Mr. Steele has really stumbled onto something.

You don't mean you're letting him work on a case

Give me a little credit.

I tell him that and we'd never get him to Arnoch.

- Did you check with our travel people? - Yeah. You were right.

Two days ago a George Kaplan bought a ticket on flight nine fifty-two to Vegas, one way.

Bingo.

Nobody goes to Vegas to play bingo.

No, but it's a hell of a place to wash money. Come on.

You've got some packing to do. I'll fill you in on the way.

Why can't somebody skip to Maui for a change?

Or ah, even Acapulco for that matter.

I just love surprise parties.

I simply can't get over Beatrice forgetting to leave the key as she promised.

Imagine me sitting there with a limousine of warm champagne.

That first look on their face... Here we are.

You will come by later and tip a few with us, won't you?

I'm sure George would love to see you again. I know I would.

How too sweet of you but...

No actually, I wouldn't feel good about it.

You see Mr. Kaplan and I have never been formally introduced and...

that Beatrice certainly takes up a lot of his time, doesn't she?

Yes, I ah, suppose she does. Well, thanks again.

Surprise!

Who's in there?

Oh, no reason to be shy honey.

George told me he found someone else...

so there's no reason that we...

Oh dear God.

Ah, I realize that this may appear a bit awkward.

Oh dear God. When George threw me over a week ago...

saying he'd found somebody else I never figured he meant...

Oh dear God.

No, no, I don't think you understand.

Oh, I understand all right. No wonder he bought me a one-way ticket to Jamaica.

Who wants me around when he's going to start over with ... Oh dear God.

Wait a minute. You must be the Beatrice she meant.

Look, I don't know what he told you but it's Cynthia Denard for the record.

Of course, and I'm Rem...

I'd just assume you'd didn't tell me.

I mean, I'd really think that I know more than I want to already.

- I just came back to pick up a few things. - We need to talk Cynthia,

- it's not want you think. - No, don't touch me.

But it's possible that George is in a lot of trouble.

You're telling me...

Cynthia wait!

Why is it always the gorgeous ones?

- What are you doing here?! - Well...

You're supposed to be at Arnoch's hotel!

Let's not stand here in the corridor and snap at each other like commoners, hey?

- You promised me. - A promise I fully intend to keep.

When? When Arnoch's flight is halfway to Topeka?

You're just afraid to admit that I might know what I'm doing with this

- You're right - I am?

- But... do you really?? - Do I really what?

Know what you're doing?

Just... Barely.

- That sounded almost genuine. - Yes.

well, the important thing is that I've just had a run in with George's girlfriend....

Or should I say ex-girlfriend?

Girlfriend? But, but I thought George was the shy, hermit type?

Well, it appears that George suddenly broke it off just before he disappeared.

Do you think that might tie in?

Uh. Any idea where I can find her?

I'm sure I can smoke her out when the time comes. What's this?

A coupon for a deal at a Vegas hotel.

Murphy's on a plane there now. I have to let him know about this.

Murphy? Vegas? Who are you calling?

Room 217, please.

Mr. Arnoch? Mr. Steele for you sir. Promises, promises.

Arnoch old chap, Steele here.

You know, I just had a thought...

Ratooi Games Inc.

I'm glad you let me agree to drive you to the airport.

Gives us a chance to really get to know one another.

Well, would you just make sure I don't miss my flight.

Oh, put yourself in our hands and don't give it another thought.

- One stop and we're there. - Stop? What kind of stop?

A very brief stop. All right Freddy?

- Feeling better now Miss Holt?? - Yes, thank you.

I'm sorry if my little security system frightened you...

but, I work here alone at night often and it's a dangerous neighborhood.

It's very effective.

The fact is it's perfectly harmless, it's just sound.

Is that what you do for the games? you create their sound?

Take my sound off a game and what are you left with?

Colored lights and a T V screen.

You know, I had intended to pass my note to Mr. Steele...

today but when I fell into your arms instead...

May I touch your face?

You have a lovely voice and I'd very much like a picture to go with it.

I suppose it would be all right.

Now tell me, what is it you wanted to see Mr. Steele about?

'Deep Water', it's- it's gone.

'Deep Water'? Is, is that a new video game?

Our newest and in the open market...

worth something in the neighborhood of fifty-million dollars.

- Uh-uh. - You have very soft skin.

Genetic good fortune.

Now this, 'Deep Water'... you think George took it?

The five million cash was probably just a cover.

Albie can't admit it to himself...

but George hated the takeover and fought it every step of the way.

Good bone structure.

So you think that, that George was trying to strip Ratooi bare?...

Before Gruff and Reston actually got their hands on it?

I like your choice of words.

The simple fact is George would do anything to hang onto Ratooi.

The company is his whole life.

Well, it seems there was still room for a girlfriend.

- Girlfriend? - George broke it off with her last week.

- Any guess as to why? - Would you excuse me Miss Holt?

I think I forgot to lock the door behind you...

Ah, it's very late.

Would you look at the time?

The airports are a madhouse at this hour and Millicent is expecting me to de-plane...

Not to worry, I'll see you to the plane personally. More champagne?

No.

Aha, Just be a moment now.

Excuse me Emery.

You.

- Cynthia, if I could just ask you a few .. - No. You don't have to explain.

I realized afterward....

I was probably as much as a shock to you as, well, vice-versa

Yes indeed but if I could ask you a few questions about George.

Well, he likes his food spicy.

and don't let him get on one of those video games...

or you might as well go to sleep.

That's all very good to know Cynthia but ..

Now see here Steele.

we simply must get to it. I haven't got all night.

Poor thing.

Trust me, Emery.

If there's any problem I'll simply loan you my private jet.

Cynthia?

Steele, I think your friend is...

well, that is, she isn't, I think, could you?

Thank you.

Toodle-loo

Girlfriend? Since when did George have a girlfriend?

From what we can gather, she's been seeing him in his apartment for quite some time.

You don't say?

I had a feeling George was seeing someone but he never mentioned it.

- Who wants to pry? - Yeah, but murder?

He must have arrived just after I did. The police should be there by now.

But murder! How could he do such a thing?

He couldn't. Not George.

I don't believe he took the money or killed anybody.

- Somebody's trying to frame him. - She did use his name.

Who says he was alone in that elevator.

I mean, supposed he was forced in there by a guy with a gun to his head.

The girl still sees George but the other guy pops her.

- Now that's possible, isn't it? - Yes. I suppose it is.

I need some air.

I tell you, I think I'll be all right now, Steele.

- Who's he, he's not a cop, is he? - No that's...

Special operative Arnoch. We bring him in on sensitive cases quite frequently.

Isn't that right Miss Holt?

- Whatever you say Mr. Steele... - No. Actually, I'm just...

It's all right Emery. Just relax over here and catch your breath.

We'll report back at the office.

Murphy, is that you?

Yeah. Good news too. I've got a solid lead on this George character.

Bad news. He's back here in town.

What? But I know he's booked a room here at the hotel.

He's got reservations tomorrow morning on a flight out of here to Toronto.

Well, he was seen in town about an hour ago so you may as well come back.

- It doesn't make any sense. - Tell me about it.

I've known George since before there were printed circuits.

Who knows, maybe it's the mob. But it's not him.

- You gotta believe me, Steele. - I'm certainly trying.

Albie, there's a call on two for you.

A man. He says it's about George.

Hello. Yeah.

When?

Where? Is he all right? Can I talk?

- .. Hello? Hello? He hung up. - What did he say?

He said if I cared anything about George or this company...

I'd meet him at the end of Valley Way at the marina in an hour. Alone.

- What do I do Steele? - Excellent question.

The marina is only a half-hour from here. Why don't you let us go first...

and position ourselves to handle who ever approaches you.

Wouldn't you suggest Mr. Steele?

Mmm? My very thoughts. Be brave Albie.

Quickly, Miss Holt, we haven't a moment to lose.

But Mr. Steele...

Come along Emery. We may need your help on this.

Nothing like this ever happened to me.

Oh, we once had a rash of stick-ups in our downtown stores, but...

Well, I'm afraid I will need to borrow your private jet now, Steele.

- Private jet? Wha.. - Yes, of course.

Tell me Miss Holt, when is our pilot due back from his vacation?

The marina.

What happens now?

Just stay here, sir, and you'll be perfectly safe.

Miss Holt and I will pose as lovers strolling among the boats.

- Mr. Steele, I don't think that's .. - You know, that's good thinking, Steele,

Thank you Emery. Ready to assume your position, Miss Holt?

- Private jet?! - I had to stall him somehow.

Well, you could have simply taken him to the airport.

Shirk my obligation to the case? What would you think of me then?

We'd better stay off that subject for the moment.

You're right. Something more romantic seems appropriate.

Ah, I love the sea air, don't you?

Hello?

. .. No... Emery Arnoch, who's this?

But he's not here now ...

All right, all right. Get a grip on yourself and I'll go see.

I don't think you should be so involved in the business.

I prefer to think of it more as an adventure.

Asking a client to hold a dead body for you is hardly my idea of adventure.

These things happen.

Here, you look cold.

I mean, it's not as if you have any real hands-on experience in the field.

- Is it? - Oh, here and there I suppose.

Oh yes, your mysterious past, never to be revealed.

What for? The one you've created for me is perfect.

Why puncture it with something tedious like the truth?

You're not real big on the truth, are you?

On the contrary.

Truth is, I'm standing on a pier with the waters lapping gently below.

The moon is full, the breeze is high...

and a beautiful woman is only inches away.

The truth is, we're waiting for Albie to show up because George is missing.

Pity we can't put our truths together.

Someone is coming.

Steele-, oh, oh. I'm terribly sorry.

That's quite all right Mr. Marnock....

- I mean, we were, we were merely posing. - Oh yes, of course.

There's 'phone call for you Steele.

Now he won't give his name but he said he had to talk to you right away.

Now he sounded desperate.

There's a lot of that in the air tonight.

- What? - Down!

- Gunshots? - Or something very much like it.

Can you see where they're coming from?

I'd rather not press it just yet.

Aaah! Do something Steele! Shoot back at them!

Love to. Wouldn't by any chance be carrying a gun?

Oh my God.

Millicent. This is Emery.

Yes dear, I know what time it is.

Yes dear but I've had a very rough day.

- What did you tell the police? - As little as possible.

I feel like we're going around in circles on this thing.

First, George is a hermit. Then he's got a girlfriend.

He's on his way through Vegas to Canada. Then all of a sudden he's here.

His office is spotless but his condo is a pig-sty.

- Albie gets a call to go the marina... - And we get shot at

It does seem like we're a step behind doesn't it?

Somebody's gone to an awful lot of trouble to keep us there.

Perhaps the mob as Albie suspects.

Or George trying to throw a false trail.

Millie! If you'd SHUT UP for a second Millie maybe I could explain!

Are you sure you didn't see anything after Cynthia was shot?

'Fraid whoever it was drove away too quickly.

Drove? George didn't drive! There's another one.

- It's him again on the 'phone. - Who?

The one who called in the car. No, he said it had to be Mr. Steele.

Of course.

Steele here.

Mr. Steele. This is Izzy Webster. I have to see you right away.

There's something you don't know about George.

- Where are you? - In my office.

Very well.

Of course, I'll be there as soon as possible.

Quickly, Laura. I sense this may be the break we've been looking for.

What? Where? You're not going to leave me here by myself.

Millie? Sorry to put you on hold but I can't talk to you now.

I'll get back to you.

- What's that? - It's nothing. Come on.

Nothing?

- Laura, are you quite certain? - Just noise. Trust me.

You first.

- Right here. - Okay.

He's trying to say something.

- Let's look for a switch. - Okay

Never again, I swear.

What is it? What is he trying to say?

- Sound's like... - Toodle-loo.

Toodle-loo?

That's what I can shuffling off with class.

I promise you'll be absolutely safe here Mr. Arnoch.

My Lord. Two of them in one day.

Rotten luck, very rotten.

Let us help you off with these. Perhaps if you were more comfortable...

No, no. That won't be necessary.

I'll, I'll be all right. Just need to get some perspective is all.

Tell me something, where am I going?

- Kitchen. - It'll do.

his is getting very difficult.

Every time we turn up someone who might help ...

They get killed.

But there must be someone we can talk to.

Somebody else who knew George but maybe only peripherally.

Somebody off the beaten path.

Also be nice if we could find someone who was around Ratooi tonight...

and might have seen something.

- Manuel. - Who?

One of Ratooi's janitors. He cleans the offices there at night.

- He must know George. - Of course.

Could be he also came across...

something while cleaning George's office that might help!

Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

How are we going to find him at this hour of the night?

I have a list of Ratooi's employees back at the office.

And I think one of us had better stay here with Arnoch, Don't you?

- But if we're both out there looking see at the same time.... - Naah, I can handle it.

By the way, how did you know about this Manuel in the first place??

Oh, we've done a bit of cruising together.

I don't know quite how to put this Laura but...

I feel like I've let the agency down.

I've let you down.

I've dragged us both into this thing and now two people are dead...

We're nearly out of time and we've still haven't found George.

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I'm not really suited for this kind of work at all.

No, no, no, it's too heavy, man. What are you trying to do? Make the chick cry or something?

Just short and sweet. She'll get the message.

You're right. You're right.

Simple sincerity is the best route here.

I've been all over this city twice looking for this janitor kid Manuel and...

I've come up with exactly zilch.

Do you know the Board meeting is this afternoon?

I know and Manuel's here but there's something I need to say first.

He's here? You mean. Where did you find him?

Hey lady, you come cruising down my turf in a limo and I'll find you.

Manuel. I'd like to ask you some questions about George Kaplan.

He's never actually seen George, but before we get into that...

- You've never met him?

- But then I work mainly nights so who knows?

His office, was it usually cluttered and messy?

Nah. Since I started with them about six months ago...

I haven't had to clean except maybe once a week.

And that was just dust.

- I see. - Like the dude was never there.

- Laura if we could have just one moment... - One second. Thank you Manuel.

You've been VERY helpful. I've got to call Murphy!

Don't mention it, Gotta go.

Nice place you've got here, Steele. Foxy lady too. Conquistala. Con mucho gusto.

Okay, thanks Murph.

- Laura, I think it's time that you... - We start re-checking our assumptions.

Now think about this. We're given very little time to find a missing man.

Worst result? We don't find him.

All right, what happens then?

What are Gruff and Reston really going to do about this?

Well I'm not sure about those corporate types. Emery might know but...

- Where is he? - There's something...

Laura, a man's toilet should never be disturbed

Mr. Arnoch, this is Miss Holt...

and we'd appreciate if you could answer a hypothetical question for us.

Miss Holt?

You're on the Board of a large multinational conglomerate...

that's bought out a small but highly profitable company.

On the day of the take-over...

you discover a substantial amount of that company's assets are missing...

along with the plans for their next big project and one of their top executives.

- What do you do? - Do the papers know about this?

- The stockholders? - Not yet.

Then I'd sweep it under the rug as fast as possible.

Can't allow a scandal like that to bring down all our stocks.

In other words you wouldn't go after the executive, the money...

or anyone else involved... even quietly?

The sooner it's forgotten about the better. Would you mind handing me a towel?

Thanks.

Gotta go meet Murphy because if we don't come up with something....

the agency could take a lot of heat for this mess.

Give me a moment to change and we'll talk in the car

Oh no. You're taking Arnoch to the airport. Straight to the airport.

No stops. No detours. Airport. Comprende? Comprendo.

Oh, what was it that you wanted to tell me?

Oh, it'll wait.

I'm sorry this has been an ordeal for you, Emery.

Yes, well I am looking forward to getting on that plane.

Shame about this poor creature, isn't it?

- Yes. Yes, indeed. - It's a nice boat too.

"Toodle-loo!".

Emery, Izzy wasn't saying goodbye, he was trying to give us a clue!

Fred, turn this car around and head for the marina.

- But we'll miss your plane. - Damn it man...

You can't expect me to pass up a lead like this after all we've been through

You heard the man, Fred. The marina at once.

That must have been some party you all threw for Mr. Kaplan. Wow.

Yes, well it may have gotten away from us a bit but, but...

I'm certain I left my glasses here somewhere.

He always seemed like such a quiet man.

Well, I've got some shopping to do. Just close the door after you.

- Oh, hi. - Oh, it's all right. He's with me.

Wish I could say the same.

Uh huh. Emery, have a look at this.

I make it about two miles offshore, north by northwest.

Excuse me, Emery.

I think there is something you should know, Steele.

I'm not good on boats.

Oh. Well, I wouldn't feel quite right going alone...

so why not let's lean over that bridge when we come to it Emery.

Our friend George Kaplan must have had some heavy financial problems...

because until six months ago he didn't have a credit rating.

- And now? - Now, he's the perfect bill payer.

Everything on time and to the dollar.

But I couldn't find a single tax return on the guy.

What about draft records? Birth certificates?

Well, he must have been a draft evader because he never registered.

And I traced his birth certificate to Sacramento...

where their fire destroyed most of their records.

So who knows if there's anything there?

He's starting to sound a lot like someone we know.

Arnoch said if we don't find him it's finished.

Gruff and Reston will never go looking for him.

And there's one kind of guy that nobody can find.

Yeah, but how do we prove this?

Even worse, what about this girlfriend Cynthia?

- Fred here. - Hi Fred. Put Mr. Steele on, please.

Sorry, he can't come to the 'phone right now.

- What's he doing? - Ohh, about five knots

All's well Emery?

Where's Steele for crying out loud?

- I'm certain he's on his way. - Boy, I need George.

I'm sorry we haven't done better...

but there could be some solid, new evidence.

- What is it? - Well, we're still waiting for it to arrive.

Look, I know you really tried...

but if you don't have anything for me in five minutes....

I'm going to have to tell the G and R...

Board that not even Remington Steele knows what happened to George.

Anything?

No. Bernice is still out looking for her. But get this:

there's a message on the service from you-know-who telling us to wait for him.

- He says, 'he found George' - What?

Don't look so shocked, Laura. I told you I had an instinct for this sort of work.

W-wh-what have you been doing?

Mmm? Looking for a pair of bolt-cutters, of course.

Come, I believe the meeting's been

called to order and we don't want to keep the client waiting.

Straight through, Emery, that's my boy.

So much for our theory now, mmm?

Naturally, I could not refuse Mr. Fervitz's desperate plea for help.

By all accounts George was a close friend, a trusted colleague...

and a vital part of Ratooi.

I know there were those that felt George Kaplan had simply turned ....

his back on all of this and had absconded with the funds...

But preceding from Mr. Fervitz's belief that George was in grave danger....

I followed an increasingly intricate trail of clues to uncover this trunk...

Which, I regret to say contains...

- no George. - I don't get it. What's that?

The missing five million dollars in assets and Ratooi's new 'Deep Water' game.

And George Kaplan?

I believe Mr. Steele has been true to his word and delivered George as well.

Would you like to tell them sir or may I?

Please, uh, Miss Holt, carry on.

Gentlemen. If I may introduce Mr. Kaplan's condominium manager, Miss Littrell.

Thnak you. Oh, Mr. Kaplan, congratulations.

When they told me about your promotion...

I'm not surprised about how wild the party was.

So, ah... surprise.

I've never seen this woman before in my life.

If only you could have kept your stinking hormones to yourself.

Shut up Sheila, They can't prove a thing.

I'm afraid I'm at a loss here. Can you explain all this? Ah, Mr. Steele?

Of course. Please Miss Holt, carry on.

Of course. Thank you, Miss Littrell.

- Would you be seated please? - Sure.

You see ladies and gentlemen, when Mr. Steele said George was here....

he was referring to the people who created George.

- He was? - Yes.

you see, about six months ago, Albie Fervitz...

his wife Sheila, and the late Izzy Webster...

realized Gruff and Reston intended to take over their company...

and in the end they would be powerless to stop it.

So they devised a plan to strip Ratooi of all that it was worth.

Fascinating.

To that end, they invented a fourth executive, one George Kaplan.

They gave him an office, credit card accounts, a condo.

Then at the proper moment they would summon...

the most reputable of detective agencies....

to declare that George had vanished...

along with their newest video game and a sizeable amount of their liquid assets.

Quite naturally, they assumed that those detectives would fail since...

there was no George to be found.

And they would be free to divide the spoils while George took all the blame.

But of course there was a critical flaw in their plan.

- The girlfriend? - Yes, Mr. Arnoch.

It seems that Mr. Fervitz decided to take advantage of the condo....

to have an extra-marital fling...

And to avoid discovery told his lover that he was George Kaplan

But when Mr. Steele found her, Fervitz was forced to kill her....

before she exposed his dual identity and discovered the plan.

And when Izzy Webster discovered that their little plan had...

suddenly turned into murder...

He wanted out. And was killed by Fervitz before he could confess his involvement.

Well Mr. Fervitz, what do you have to say to all this?

I'll talk to my lawyer, period.

Obviously, this is a matter for the police.

But an astounding story Mr. Steele.

and I must add, a brilliant piece of detection.

Thank you.

But ah, I owe so much to the excellent support of my wonderful staff

Your excellent staff thanks you,

That's very gracious of them considering how badly I misjudged Albie.

Pity really. He seemed to have such a genuine concern for George.

But tell me, how exactly did I crack the case?

By simply being you.

Having created Remington Steele, I know how troublesome a fictitious man can be.

You didn't seem to have much trouble on the dock.

Ah, but then I was merely posing.

To posing then.

Mmm. That will be the dinner I ordered.

I just couldn't do it Steele.

I stood in that airport ramp and I thought to myself,

"Emery, this has been the most exciting forty-eight hours of your life!

You're a fool to waste your talents on unit pricing and shelf strategy".

So I'm selling out.

Millicent and the children will be arriving in a few days.

So tell me, what's our next case?

Translated by redneck2u.

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