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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,440
Previously on Psychoville...
2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,760
Anyone else apart from him see
you do that murder? Now, David!
3
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:16,680
This whole collection has
taken me years to amass.
4
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,000
How many more do you need?
Just the one, Tealeaf.
5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,760
These people are serious collectors.
6
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,960
Now, find me that crocodile!
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,280
Agh!
8
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,440
Are you happy now?
Who sent you this?
9
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,080
You did. That's an O.
This was meant for me.
10
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:41,120
Freddy doesn't live in the storeroom.
Looks like he should be in the bin by the state of him. Don't you dare!
11
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,600
Jesus, Joy.
12
00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,960
Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
13
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,560
Would've been nice to have stayed
and seen who the murderer was...
14
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:08,080
Well, I'm sorry, George, but I
thought my boobs were gonna explode.
15
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:12,160
The Theatre Royal wouldn't want me
dripping milk all over the stalls.
16
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,200
Everything all right, Nicola?
How's he been? Fine.
17
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,280
I've not heard a peep out of him.
18
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,440
Yes, he's a very placid little boy.
19
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,600
He's livening up now
cos he can smell mummy's milk.
20
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Here, I'll get him latched on.
21
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,600
Come on then, Nicola,
I'll take you home now.
22
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,680
Oh, by the way, this came for you.
23
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,880
I had to sign for it,
I hope that's OK.
24
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:55,680
No, that's fine. Thank you, Nicola.
Can you get me some cabbage leaves while you're out, George?
25
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,920
He's sucking me red raw here.
26
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,760
Ooh! Ah!
27
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,400
How do you go to the toilet?
28
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,120
I'm assuming each of you
has your own anus?
29
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,960
Is it equal or does one go more
than the other? Oh, do you mind?
30
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,160
I'm interested. We don't get a lot
of this kind of thing in Dudley.
31
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:21,920
He's locked himself in his room
and he's not coming out. What's he done with Snappy?
32
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:26,600
He won't say. I tried the Jaffa
Cakes, he wasn't interested.
33
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:31,880
This is ridiculous.
We are being held hostage by a seven-year-old boy.
34
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,680
'Ere, let me speak to him.
35
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,360
I have a way with kids.
Shall I come with?
36
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,120
No, you stay here and keep
your eye on the Cheeky Girls.
37
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,200
They're not to be trusted.
38
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,080
So...
39
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:54,280
if one of you needs to...pump,
can the other one, like, hold it in?
40
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:04,640
You know, Ian, when my Daddy
was a little boy, in 1912,
41
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:09,440
there was a ship called
the Titanic which sank.
42
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:15,120
Hundreds of people died,
many children among them and Hamley's, the toy shop,
43
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:21,760
made 500 black mohair bears
and put them in its window as a symbol of the nation's grief.
44
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:28,680
Well, my Daddy had one of these
bears, and he gave it to me.
45
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:35,200
He said, "This represents
all those little dead children. Look after him."
46
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,120
I've still got him.
47
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,480
I take him to bed
with me every night.
48
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,840
As I grew older,
I carried on my collection.
49
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,160
I thought somehow I could
keep alive the child in me.
50
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,600
It's a terrible thing, growing old.
51
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,840
I've not long left now,
I know I haven't,
52
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:05,240
but if you could help me find
Snappy the Crocodile,
53
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:10,560
then that little boy who's
still inside me will live on...
54
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,360
and I won't end my days as just...
55
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,280
another sad, lonely old man.
56
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,000
I can't hear a word you're saying.
57
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,880
No-one'll stop because of the hook.
58
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:38,360
Oh, it's all right, there's
a recovery vehicle on its way.
59
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,160
You know who had a car
like this, don't you?
60
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,720
Charlie Carolli. Ah,
you don't know who that is, do you?
61
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,520
Can't say that I do.
62
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,760
Did she present Ground Force?
63
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,280
Charlie Dimmock. Oh...
Call yourself a clown!?
64
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,720
You don't know the first
thing about it, do you?
65
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,200
I bet you haven't even got
your face registered on an egg.
66
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,680
On an egg? Yeah, that's how
you copyright your make-up, twit.
67
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,360
Shame you can't do it for names.
You knew I was called Mr Jelly!
68
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,680
I did want to call myself
Dr Diddle,
69
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:11,080
but there was a paedophile
arrested in York with the same name so it didn't seem appropriate.
70
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,120
Besides, Mr Jolly
suits my character.
71
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,480
What character?
A paper plate with glasses on?
72
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,640
Well, the distinction
is clear enough to me.
73
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,080
It's not clear, though,
or else I'd not be getting your blackmail letters.
74
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:27,200
My life is in danger cos someone
thinks I'm you. I thought you didn't want to be involved? I am. Look!
75
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,640
Is this why you wanted to see me?
Yes, it's got to stop, Jolly, I'm sick of all this confusion!
76
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,840
Excuse me,
I'm looking for a Mr Jelly?
77
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,840
Jolly!
78
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,560
Emergency services spent
several hours at the scene.
79
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:54,320
Police in London are investigating
the discovery of two bodies found locked in a trunk in an apartment.
80
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,960
The bodies, both said to be male,
have yet to be identified,
81
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,720
but senior officers are treating
the deaths as highly suspicious.
82
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:08,120
A witness described seeing a man
wearing a hat with mirrors on it fleeing the scene. Mamma.
83
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,680
Mamma.
84
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,440
I'm coming, Freddy.
85
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,200
Kevin, that was a two bow audience,
not a three bow audience.
86
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,600
Half of them were already up
with their coats on.
87
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,520
Yeah, but the front row
were still sitting.
88
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,800
Yes,
well they're the Sunshine Coach mob.
89
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,920
They've no choice.
90
00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:01,440
Right, before you all de-slap,
just a few parish notices.
91
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:06,520
Thank you. Now I hope you've all
signed Debbie's get well soon card,
92
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,680
which is knocking around
in wardrobe village.
93
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,400
She's fine, she's in a...
94
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,840
a stable condition. She's
having every test known to man...
95
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,200
She just won't wake up.
A bit like tonight's audience.
96
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:21,240
Why aren't I getting anything
on Safari, So-goody? Anyway...
97
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,440
would anyone like to take
the card to Debbie in hospital?
98
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,200
I'd go myself, but I've got a
flotation tank booked. I'll do it.
99
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,040
Robert, you're a wonderful marvel.
100
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,840
You shouldn't go there, Robert.
Why not? You know why.
101
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:37,560
Now a bit of good news,
Kirsty Wark has got cold feet
102
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:42,040
so guess who's switching on the
Eastbourne Christmas lights tonight?
103
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,440
Yes, Biggins!
104
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:49,840
Normally we'd have Snow White doing
this, but as Debbie's understudy it isn't fair to ask Joanne to do it.
105
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,040
The feedback I've been getting is...
106
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,240
well, that you're confusing people.
107
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,760
Nobody knows what
you're meant to be.
108
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:02,360
So I shall do the honours
myself tonight, with the dwarves around me as dressing.
109
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,160
Quick speech, photo, photo
and say goodbye, Gillian.
110
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,520
All right, class? Dismissed.
111
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:15,000
You've got to tell them, Robert.
It was an accident, Kerry. Anyway, it's got nothing to do with you.
112
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,720
Robert, there's a letter for you.
What's this?
113
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,440
Some fanny mail for Robert?
114
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,960
Give me that back. Oh, you've got
groupies sending you their keys now.
115
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,800
None of your business.
116
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,080
Don't you worry, hen.
One day your Prince will come.
117
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,160
All over those little titties,
if you're lucky.
118
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,040
Mamma.
119
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,680
Mamma.
120
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,800
It's all right,
my little Freddy Fruitcake.
121
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,840
Mummy's here.
122
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,840
Freddy?
123
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,600
Are you playing hide and seek?
124
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,080
Mamma.
125
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,200
Where are you?
126
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,840
♪ Come out, come out
wherever you are! ♪
127
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,320
Oh! Argh!
128
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,880
What have you done to Mummy?
129
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,680
You teething already?
130
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:35,840
Agh!
131
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,240
FRENZIED MUSIC PLAYS
132
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,600
Freddy, stop it! Freddy!
133
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,440
Freddy, stop!
134
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,720
I think you need some Calpol.
135
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,000
Mamma...
136
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,280
Ah!
137
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,320
No, no...
138
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,240
Agh!
139
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,560
Mamma...
140
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,560
SHE SHRIEKS
141
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,560
Sorry, I was looking
for Debbie Hart's room?
142
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:44,040
Debbie?
We had a whip-round and got you this.
143
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:49,240
Well, I think Phil just won it
on the pier and kept the money, but I can't prove it.
144
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:55,720
Anyway, I just wanted to apologise
because this is all my fault,
145
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,280
but I never meant for
you to end up like this.
146
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,680
I am sorry, Debbie.
147
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,920
Truly I am.
148
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,720
DISTANT CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
149
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,120
Debbie?
150
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,400
Where am I? You're in hospital.
151
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,320
You had an accident. Who are you?
152
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,560
I'm Robert, we...
Ah, you're are awake.
153
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:29,640
I'll get Doctor Mekos.
Your boyfriend's got to leave now.
154
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,240
Boyfriend?
155
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,120
Yeah. I'm your boyfriend.
156
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,320
How long?
157
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,360
About...
158
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:48,760
No, I mean,
how long have we been together?
159
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,440
Oh, two years.
160
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,440
Really?
161
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,760
Lucky me.
162
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,840
Come on. David, don't get excited,
I've got to get my breath back.
163
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,440
Look...look at 'em.
164
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,080
God.
165
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,200
Here, David,
come and have a look at this.
166
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:17,200
Here he is, look.
Your Acid Bath Murderer.
167
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,240
John George Haigh,
168
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:23,680
1909 to 1949. They're not scary
to look at, are they?
169
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,640
He looks like one of
the Chuckle Brothers.
170
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,520
So when's he coming,
our next victim?
171
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,680
Nine o'clock. It was a good
idea to meet him down here.
172
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,920
You've got everything
you need, haven't you?
173
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,280
Eh, just think,
we could be in here one day.
174
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,200
"David And Maureen Sowerbutts,
175
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,960
"mother and son serial killers."
176
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:49,800
Yeah. Don't have 'em put me in dumpy
trousers, David, like Rose West.
177
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:54,760
I want to look decent.
Ruth Ellis has got a nice little skirt on, look.
178
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,400
Ted.
179
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,440
David?
180
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:00,760
David!
181
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:04,160
Right, I'll leave you to it.
Just enjoy it. Where are you?!
182
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,160
Bit of a macabre place to meet.
183
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,400
I like it.
184
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,880
So, what did you
want to see me about?
185
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,280
You know I done that bad murder
at the hotel?
186
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,440
Yes, and do you know we've
lost business with that hotel now.
187
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,440
They won't have us back.
188
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,880
Fancy you smearing the walls
with your own excrement!
189
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,000
You could have used Nutella,
it's exactly the same.
190
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:40,680
First we went to see Graham.
He wanted to call the police...
191
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,320
Yes, well,
since Graham's unfortunate accident,
192
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,600
I'm in charge of the company so
you can deal with me from now on.
193
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,080
Then we went to see Cheryl.
194
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,160
She had a big mouth.
195
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,240
Cheryl never took things
seriously enough for my liking.
196
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:59,400
And, besides, she was getting
far too old to be a flapper girl.
197
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,680
And then we went to see Martin.
198
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,960
He got all choked up.
199
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,920
He was only ever good
for playing dead bodies.
200
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,600
But he did have a hatchback.
201
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,760
Now we've come to see you.
202
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:21,560
Well, I'm running things a little
more professionally than Graham so if you want your old job back,
203
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,440
you'll have to audition, none of
this "friend of a friend" business.
204
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,840
Oh, would I have to do a song?
205
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:33,600
No, you can speak-sing, you
don't have to be Michael Balls.
206
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:40,760
But you've come up trumps with
this venue, I'll give you that.
207
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,200
This is a perfect place
to do a murder.
208
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,320
Yeah,
209
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,160
it is.
210
00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:00,120
Have you got Mr Bun the Baker?
No. Fish.
211
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,720
Kelly-Su, have you got Mrs Snuffett,
the Undertaker's Wife?
212
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,760
No. Fish.
213
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,520
It's no use, it was a wash-out.
He's clammed up.
214
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,880
He's probably just frightened.
What is there to be frightened of?
215
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,480
Shall we go up?
216
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,480
I think just leave it.
217
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,480
Well, we've got to do something.
218
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,480
We can't just sit around here
all day playing happy families.
219
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,320
All right, all right, let me try.
220
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,800
Yeah, go ahead.
You get up there, Tealeaf.
221
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,000
Remember what's at stake.
222
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:42,640
Do you mind me asking...
if one of you needs to pump...?
223
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,200
I've already asked it, Karen,
they won't say.
224
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,160
RUSTLING
225
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,600
Ow!
226
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,760
Oh!
227
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:16,960
Freddy?
228
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,400
SHE GROANS
229
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,840
Oh, no.
230
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,840
No.
231
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,480
No...!
232
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,160
Oh.
233
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,160
Mamma...
234
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,480
Mamma... Ah!
235
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,360
Mamma! Agh!
236
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,200
SHE SCREAMS
Mamma...
237
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,680
Mamma!
238
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:18,680
Freddy, that's enough now,
you're frightening Mummy, Freddy!
239
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,440
< Joy, I'm back.
It's starting to rain again, hope you've brought your washing in...
240
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,480
George. No!
241
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,520
George!
242
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,720
Dada dead.
243
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,160
SHE GROANS AND GRUNTS
244
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,160
Well, done, Freddy.
245
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,720
And that's the end
of silly old Mummy.
246
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,160
Silly old Mummy...
247
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,600
Come and give Dada a kiss!
248
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,720
While I was working as a senior
surgeon at St Dunstan's Hospital...
249
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,800
Oh, yeah, where you cut my hand
off, red-raw stump, carry on.
250
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,920
I also had a consultancy
at a psychiatric hospital.
251
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,720
It was called Ravenhill. Can you
switch the engine on for me, please?
252
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,160
ENGINE STARTS
253
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,480
All right, switch it off.
254
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,840
The establishment was ruled over
by a particularly nasty Governess,
255
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,760
Nurse Kenchington.
256
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,800
Kenchington? That's not a real name.
257
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,120
Oh, yes. Yes, it was.
258
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,480
Edwina Kenchington.
259
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:17,800
The methods she employed were
not only ethically dubious, but downright sadistic.
260
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,720
How's my little mouse this morning?
261
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,320
Oh, it hasn't eaten its cheese.
262
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,240
I don't like cheese,
Nurse Kenchington.
263
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,880
Can I have some other food, please?
264
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,600
I'm starving. Squeak, squeak.
265
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,080
Nothing but cheese
for this little mouse.
266
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:42,600
She would take patients with the
mildest of phobias and induce complete mental collapse.
267
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,520
There's a baby in this room
whose nappy needs changing.
268
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,320
Do you think you're ready
to do that? Yes, Nurse Kenchington.
269
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,440
Meet Mr Mumford.
270
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,240
Are there any Wet Wipes?
271
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:06,040
She grew increasingly inventive
with her cruelty, and I just stood by and did nothing.
272
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,920
It became clear that something
had to be done to stop her.
273
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,400
What, so you killed her? The less
you know about it, the better.
274
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,560
Because she made a dwarf
eat some cheese? Among other things. Apple bobbing with a halfwit.
275
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,240
Look, you had to be there!
276
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,280
COMEDY HORN BEEPS
277
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:36,240
So who's sending these messages?
I don't know. Could be a former member of staff.
278
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,640
It's probably a patient.
Oh, even better!
279
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,960
Some lunatic's stalking around my
house thinking I've done your murder?
280
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,360
Ssshhhh!
So what are you going to do about it?
281
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,560
I've already made a list
of all those who were involved in the incident.
282
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:52,560
I thought we could track them down
and see if anyone else has had any letters. What do you mean "we"?
283
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:56,320
It's got nothing to do with me,
has it? I never had a hand in it.
284
00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:00,440
No, but I suppose you could
have had a HOOK in it!
285
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,480
MAN IN GLASSES LAUGHS
286
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,480
Have you fixed it yet, mate?
287
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,520
COMEDY HOOTER BLOWS
ALARM RINGS
288
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,760
Not yet.
289
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:25,120
David, come look at this, they've
got an actual working guillotine!
290
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,320
Come along! David!
291
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,040
This could be wonderful...
292
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,080
You're not going to
strangle him, are you?
293
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,520
May I recommend Oil of Vitriol?
294
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,920
Otherwise known as Sulphuric Acid.
295
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,680
It's so much neater
and it won't leave a trace.
296
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,800
Unless you've got gallstones,
of course.
297
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:52,680
That's how they caught you,
isn't it? According to your notes.
298
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,040
I'd recommend a little whiff of gas.
299
00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:01,160
CO2 we call it, and then pop them
under the floorboards for safe keeping.
300
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,160
I like strangles.
301
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,680
Course you do, kid.
All that power in your fingertips.
302
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,600
Go ahead, kill the son of a bitch.
Use these. Try not to ladder them.
303
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,680
Oh, pipe down, Albert,
you're confusing the boy.
304
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,120
He wants to use acid!
David, listen to me,
305
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:22,680
I was played by Sir Richard
Attenborough in a film of my life. Who did he get? Martin Clunes.
306
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,760
He was rather good actually.
Didn't overdo the comedy.
307
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:29,200
Yeah, they should have got
one of the Chuckle Brothers. Gas and acid, that's for faggots.
308
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:34,160
Real men use their hands. Don't
listen to him, he has six different personalities. Shut up! No, you!
309
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,080
Oh, you've confused me now,
I don't know what to do!
310
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,920
Then why not ask the man
who was never caught.
311
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,240
CHILLING MUSIC PLAYS
312
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:50,240
♪ It can be such a bore
313
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,240
♪ When faced with yet another whore
314
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,640
♪ To think of a new method
to dispatch her
315
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:03,040
♪ So when I'm feeling grand
I change my modus operandi
316
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:07,960
♪ And in that way
no-one will ever catch ya!
317
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,800
♪ When you've covered all the angles
318
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,240
♪ From poisoning to strangles
319
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,880
♪ And you haven't yet been dragged
into the dock
320
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,560
♪ It's always much more thrilling
321
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,800
♪ To be inventive with your killing
322
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:28,120
♪ But if they catch you
you could get a nasty shock!
323
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,960
♪ Instead of trying to restrict him
324
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,440
♪ Take a trophy from your victim
325
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,320
♪ A clipping of their pubic hairs
is good
326
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,320
♪ And if you want to cause a ripple
327
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,320
♪ Make a belt from ladies nipples
328
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:47,360
♪ And wear it
as you dance round in the woods!
329
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,440
♪ And while your heart is tripping
At the thought of yet more ripping
330
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,760
♪ And your hands
they might be slipping From the neck they are gripping
331
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,720
♪ And the acid it is dripping
332
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,760
♪ From the body you are dipping
333
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:22,800
♪ And your trusty spade is flipping
All the bodies you are tipping
334
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:27,160
♪ And while you amass your clippings
Of DeSalvo, Haigh and Crippen... ♪
335
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,120
Christie! Sorry!
336
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:35,560
♪ Take some advice
from one killer to another
337
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:40,080
♪ There's always
someone worse than you
338
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:47,400
♪ In your case it's your mother! ♪
339
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:52,920
David! Have you done it yet? I'm
sick of looking at all those royals.
340
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,520
The Queen Mum
looks more like John McEnroe.
341
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,440
So what did you do then?
342
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,480
Um...strangle.
343
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:06,760
Strangle? What a waste, I thought
you'd have had more fun with it with all this at your fingertips.
344
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,800
Mind you, we've still got
one more to do, haven't we?
345
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,840
Never mind, come on.
I've got it all worked out, David.
346
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:19,040
We have the reception down here,
and then one by one all the waxworks come alive!
347
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,240
It's been done.
348
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,360
So when one of you's having sex,
what do you do with the other one?
349
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,080
Do you just chuck a duvet over it?
350
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,320
No,
351
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,600
we come apart with Velcro.
352
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,640
Oh, that's handy.
353
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,440
Well? Nothing.
354
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,120
He wouldn't speak to me.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
355
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,040
Why don't I just go up there
and smack it out of him? Bob!
356
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,960
Either of you two got a cigarette?
They're in the van. Can I get one, please?
357
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,200
We're just settled here.
358
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:02,800
Come on, Kelly-Su. Be good
to, er...stretch our legs.
359
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,560
I'll tell you something
about those two bitches...
360
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,520
Have they gone yet?
No, we're still here.
361
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,000
DOOR OPENS
Have they gone now?
362
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,320
They're just...
DOOR CLOSES
363
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,720
Now they've gone. I'll tell you
something about those two bitches.
364
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,520
They're not to be trusted.
365
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,920
They'll promise you one thing,
and then stab you in the back.
366
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,200
Isn't that right, Tealeaf?
He's gone with them.
367
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,720
Hey? Tealeaf, no!
368
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,520
ENGINE REVS
369
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,360
Tealeaf!
370
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:49,640
DOG BARKS
371
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,120
I thought that fall down the stairs
would have killed her. Fat bitch.
372
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:56,080
You should leave now, my darling.
The less you touch, the better.
373
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,760
What, not even you?
Oh, I'm not saying that.
374
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,280
Now go on, before you get
me all hot and bothered.
375
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,280
OK, I know when I'm not wanted.
376
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,880
I'll, er, I'll just go
and take Freddy up to bed.
377
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:15,200
I'll bet he's tired out,
aren't you, my little angel?
378
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,800
Nicola?
379
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,880
Do you know where his
clean jim-jams are, George?
380
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,440
I think he's got a little
bit of nappy rash starting.
381
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,640
What are you doing? Well, we've got
to take good care of him, George.
382
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,760
He's our little Freddy now.
383
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,400
Little Freddy Fruitcake.
384
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,280
Oh, God, no!
385
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,400
Nicola, please...
I'm joking!
386
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,080
SHE LAUGHS
387
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:45,560
I don't know how you lived with it
for so long, George, I really don't.
388
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,120
Yeah, well, those days are over.
389
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:52,160
And this little bastard can go to
his new home - the wheelie bin.
390
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,760
We weren't the only ones that were
bidding for Snappy on eBay.
391
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,960
There was another bidder,
and Ian sent the toy to him.
392
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,040
Well done, Tealeaf.
393
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,440
Have you got the address? Better
than that. I've got a number.
394
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,880
PHONE RINGS
395
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,400
Yes? Can I speak to the owner of
Snappy the Crocodile?
396
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaking.
397
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,640
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
398
00:28:58,690 --> 00:29:03,240
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