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Dude, do you know they make silent window shades?
Some woman in Washington invented them
back in the early '90s.
Since when is the sound of opening and closing shades
so disruptive that it has to be alleviated?
Why do you have to hate on
other peoples triumphs of innovation?
Weird.
It's not weird; it's selfish
and more than a little petty.
No, not that, come take a look at this.
Man, this better not be another auction
for one of Stoney Jackson's neckerchiefs.
It's not, Shawn.
This came in on the Psych account.
The sender is me@underthenail.com
I'm pretty sure it's not spam.
Well, what's the attachment?
Cinnamon festival.
The Great Northern.
I'm not familiar with that publication.
What, you know every small town newspaper in California?
Actually, I do, Shawn.
- Ridgecrest? - The Daily Independent.
- Shawnopolis. - That doesn't exist.
Yet.
I just need 50,000 signatures and a large plot of land.
Well, look up this town, Dual Spires.
I mean, how can there be a cinnamon festival
that we've never heard of?
Zoom in.
Zoom in more.
- Keep zooming. - I am, Shawn.
Dude, this town is so small that it's in parenthesis.
How the heck did we get this email?
It's a delicious mystery.
Think about it, a tiny little town
we've never even heard of?
What's your schedule look like?
I'm open till my route tomorrow.
Let's see here.
You think they'll have monkey bread?
- Yes, I do. - What?
I'm good till next Wrestlemania.
A half mile from the nearest road?
No wonder it's in parenthesis.
That is one secluded town.
Let's get some cinnamon.
Well, everyone looks so happy,
and yet, so perplexed.
Something's off about this place, Shawn.
People keep looking,
like I'm the first black man they've seen.
Come on, Gus. Don't be absurd.
Hey mister, are you Frederick Douglass?
Shawn, we need to get out of here.
Nah, let's get something to eat.
Hey, top of the morning to you, boys.
Robert Barker. You can call me Bob.
Just passing through?
We're here for the festival.
We take our cinnamon very seriously.
Well, then you're in luck, because so do we.
90 years running.
Why do you call your diner The Sawmill?
'Cause that's what it used to be.
Most of it burned down back in '58.
Granddad turned it into this place,
and now it's just a bit of a local landmark.
We just need a little something
to hold us over until showtime,
so, uh, what's good?
How about a cup
of the best pipin' hot apple cider
this side of the Mississippi
and a slice of cinnamon pie that may just bring tears?
Two slices of cinnamon pie, hon.
That's the wife. Isn't she a peach?
Ah, I'll get that cider.
- Bob's a real chatty Cathy. - You think?
You should check your email.
See if our secret pal sent us any cinnamon comps.
I'm afraid you won't have much luck with those here.
Sheriff Andrew Jackson.
You know, we had the opportunity
to put up some of those fancy towers,
but folks decided a basic landline was fine with them.
I couldn't help but overhear
that you're in town for the festival.
It's rare to get visitors.
Well, we heard all about it on underthenail.com.
We don't have the Internet in Dual Spires.
- It's simpler that way. - Hmm.
- Dude, we're doing witness. - They were amish.
Not Danny Glover, he was black.
What are you talking about?
Well, we are happy you are here, nevertheless.
It should be a heck of a celebration.
- Two slices of cinnamon pie. - Thank you.
Well, we'll see you at the festival.
Sheriff.
What's the verdict?
Really?
Mmm.
Oh, mother of God.
Mm.
- Mm-hmm. - Mm.
Dude, that owl is made entirely of cinnamon.
Which means that it is both wise and delicious.
Let's have a nice, warm round of applause
for Mayor Douglas Fir.
This year's festival mascot:
Leo, the cinnamon owl.
- You found the monkey bread. - You know that's right.
And now, the moment I know you've all been waiting for.
It's time to announce this year's cinnamon king.
Whoooo will it be?
Who, who?
Oh, who are we kidding?
Put your hands together
for the future leader of Dual Spires.
A young man that needs no introduction,
come up and claim your crown, Randy.
That's my boy.
What's 24 times 12?
288. Why?
There's a chair here for every person in town.
Three are empty.
Sheriff's talking, so that's one.
Check it out.
There's one right next to the Barkers.
Hey. Hey, you found the monkey bread.
Yeah.
Mrs. Barker, is everything okay?
No. Everything is not okay.
- Shelley. - What?
I can't just sit here and pretend to be excited
about churros and Leo the cinnamon owl.
I sense someone is missing.
Yeah. Our niece, Paula.
She's been gone about a day and a half.
Everyone keeps telling us not to panic.
She's a teenager.
Wait, what did you mean, you sensed it?
Mr. and Mrs. Barker, I have a confession to make.
I'm not just a cinnamon enthusiast.
I'm also a psychic detective.
And this is my partner, Lodge Blackmunn.
Can you find Paula?
Perhaps. Oh!
I got a little something under the nail.
Right here, under... under the nail.
It's not her.
We are available for hire.
We don't have much money.
None of us do, here.
We believe it complicates things.
Well, we have been known
to work for cider or pie in the past.
Oh, of course. As much as you'd like.
We will find your niece.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Who is supposed to be sitting over there?
Oh, that's Paula's best friend, Jack.
I'm not sure where he is.
Would this be...
Something happened at the lake.
Something happened at the lake!
It's Paula.
I know it is.
Oh, God.
Jack discovered her just about an hour ago, doc.
So young.
My God, Andrew.
Jack, is this how you found her?
No, sir. She was half naked.
It wasn't right.
I didn't want people to see her like that.
I'm sorry.
Oh, now I've got to let the Barkers through.
No!
No, my baby.
Paula.
Paula!
Come on, dude.
You know I'm a sympathetic crier, Shawn.
Just leave me be.
Dude, I have a bar.
And an email.
Gus, we weren't called here for a cinnamon festival.
In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity
I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity
if it's all right
then you're all wrong
why bounce around to the same damn song?
you'd rather run
when you can't crawl
I know you know
I know you know
Sync 7 corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
I'm guessing the time of death was
sometime night before last.
Doc Gooden will do a full autopsy.
You know she won't miss a thing, Bob.
But I suspect what we will find
is that Paula went swimming after curfew,
like she always did,
and got pulled under by the current
and hit her head.
I'm gonna rule it an accident for now.
She must have snuck out.
Bob, we both know she's been sneaking out
just about every night since she got here.
Listen, why don't you take Michelle on home.
She's gonna need you to be strong now.
I'll get Deputy Frost to take you back in the rickshaw.
I'm so, so sorry, Bob.
Looks like we won't be needing your services after all, boys.
Mr. Barker, I am sensing
there is more to Paula's death than meets the eye.
What are you saying?
That she...
Oh, my God.
We'd like to stick around.
See what we see.
Feel what we feel.
Okay.
If someone hurt Paula,
we sure as hell want to know about it.
I'm also sensing that Paula didn't grow up here
in Dual Spires.
May I ask where she was before?
Paula lived in Santa Barbara till she was 11.
Well, you have our condolences,
and we will be in touch.
I think your ride is here.
The earth is soft and moist.
Wow.
That is so bizarre.
It's like I only have reception in this spot.
In all my years of police work,
I've never seen anything like it.
I know.
Our new station manager is an angel sent from heaven.
O'Hara.
Yes, Detective O'Hara.
Shawn Spencer calling.
Did you just use both of our last names?
Don't be weird.
Okay, Miss O'Hara.
- Detective. - Shawn.
Look, I'm really struggling
with the whole work formal thing.
What are you wearing?
Okay, you just took it from one awkward extreme to another.
I need you to run a name
for a girl.
Used to live in Santa Barbara.
Paula Merral. Two "r"s.
Sure, is everything okay?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm gonna have to call you back, though,
'cause there's not really reception up here.
Up where?
Hello?
Jules.
Shawn?
Wow, it really is just the one spot.
Your conversations with Juliet
are too uncomfortable to listen to now.
- I'm calling next time. - Fine.
Look, if we're going to accomplish
anything in this town,
we are gonna need wheels.
Shawn, we have reached a new low point in our life.
Are you kidding me? It's like Driving Miss Daisy.
Except you get to be Miss Daisy.
I don't want to be in the movie, Shawn.
Looks like the doctor stays pretty busy.
Guess you're out of luck if you need a massage.
Good job saving your receipts, Patrick.
May I help you, gentlemen?
Hello, Doc Gooden.
My partner, plus too much
cinnamon monkey bread equals tummy shame.
Can you help us?
I'll see him after my next patient.
Doc, this could get ugly fast.
All right.
Sheriff Jackson mentioned we had
a couple of visitors in town today.
You are aware the cinnamon festival has been cancelled.
Oh, yes.
We heard there was some sort of tragedy.
Must be so difficult
in a small, happy town like Dual Spires.
Put this on and then lay face down on my table.
Uh, well you know... Ah, aah!
Actually, I think...
Snap to it.
So how well did you know the girl?
I'm sorry, I don't know why I do that.
I can just sense that you have a heavy heart.
I'm a woman of science.
And law.
And accounting.
But that doesn't mean that I don't feel.
Paula was a troubled young girl.
I wish I could have done more to help her.
You were her psychiatrist?
You ask a lot of questions.
It's just... I recently lost someone myself.
He was murdered too, so I know how difficult...
Paula wasn't murdered. Who told you that?
Oh, no one.
I just assumed, because...
I haven't done an autopsy yet.
There are no obvious signs of foul play.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
No, it's not you.
Like I said, she was a troubled young girl.
She had a dangerous side.
Nothing scared her.
Not even dying.
You think she may have taken her own...
No, I can't bear that thought.
I've said too much to a stranger.
I should be ashamed.
For caring?
No, you shouldn't.
Oh. Whew!
You know, I actually feel better.
The myna bird can come in now.
What's up next?
We need to find our cinnamon king.
That kid has a secret.
What did grandma tell you
about wandering off in the store?
Oh, come on.
I was getting ready to say...
That would have been too much.
Dude. That's him.
Dude, that's our guy.
You ever close your eyes you're making believe
you're holding the one you're dreaming of
well if you say so
it hurts so bad when you finally know
just how low low low
low low she'll go
baby did a bad, bad thing
baby did a bad, bad thing
baby did a bad, bad thing
feel like crying
ooh
ooh ooh
feel like crying
feel like crying
ooh
Oh, sheriff. Didn't expect to see you here.
I live here. What do you mean?
Of course you do.
You're Randy's father.
Yes, wow.
You guys have Bob Barker, Doc Gooden, and Randy Jackson.
All living in the same inlet town
with no cars, cell phones, or Internet.
Shawn, we need to pitch this to Mark Burnett.
You fellas realize the festival is cancelled.
As you know, we lost someone
very dear to us today.
That's actually why we dropped by, sheriff.
You see, Gus and I are grief counselors
back in the big city.
And you all have been so kind and welcoming to us
that we figured the least we could do
would be to offer our services before we left town.
Well, come on in, fellas.
Yeah.
I'll confess, Randy and I haven't been communicating
too well as of late.
I know he's hurting, but he won't talk to me.
You know, it wasn't too long ago
that Gus and I were Randy's age.
It was a pretty long time ago.
- Ah, it wasn't that long ago. - You like to think so.
I can't do this with you right now.
Fine.
He's upstairs in his room.
We'll give it a shot.
Hmm.
So my dad hired you to shake me down, right?
I'm fine. I barely knew Paula.
Then why did the two of you
share secret, special lover earrings?
Come on, Randy.
How long had you been seeing her?
Who are you?
A couple of guys with a passion for the truth.
And cinnamon.
We'd been together six months.
Why was it a secret?
It's complicated.
I get it. It's Pretty in Pink.
You're Andrew McCarthy.
Who's Andrew McCarthy?
That's fair.
Where were you the night Paula died?
I was at the library, studying.
The librarian can confirm it.
Do you always study so late on a Friday?
I'm at the library almost every night.
I've been taking correspondence courses.
I need a business degree to be a good leader.
That's true.
I never could have hurt her.
I loved Paula.
We were gonna see the world together.
I'm gonna be so lost without her.
Oh, Paula.
Paula.
Paula.
Paula.
That's a little dramatic, don't you think?
You have a problem.
Excuse us.
Shh.
Keep your voice down, please.
It's just us and you.
Just a bunch of words on paper to you guys, right?
Wrong.
Each is alive with a story to tell.
Listen.
I'm just messing with you guys.
Thanks for playing along. That's really sweet.
I'm Maudette Hornsby.
Isn't cherry the best?
The best what?
Everything, silly.
I thought you were psychic.
I am. I'm the psychic.
But how did you know that?
Mm, word travels.
You know, we don't get a lot of gossip around here.
So untimely death, a psychic,
and a black man, all in one day.
Epic.
I really thought we were being discreet.
Do you even know what discreet is?
That's a serious question.
- I know what... - Shh!
Was Randy Jackson with you the night Paula died?
Why? Do you think she was
m-u-r-d-e-r-e-d or something?
M-a-y-b-e.
Yes, Randy was here.
We have a very special bond,
you see.
His mom passed away when he was very young.
Sheriff Jackson never remarried.
So I sort of stepped in and filled a role.
For both of them.
Is there anything else you need to know?
Uh, feels pretty good for now.
Do you mind if we poke around?
- Poke. - Peek.
- Peek. - Peek around.
Yes.
Knock yourselves out.
Okay, remember the last email,
the one with all the weird hieroglyphics?
They were letters and numbers, Shawn.
Okay, it was one of these things.
The Dewey decimal system?
I didn't even know they still used this.
That's 'cause people don't want to crack war codes
when the payoff is Jane Eyre.
What was the number, Shawn?
F796.352.
700s, that's sports and recreation.
These books are archaic.
And really old.
Except this one.
Putt Your Way to a Better Life.
By Earl Wyndam.
My short game could use some work.
There's no pictures?
This is the weirdest golf book I've ever seen.
Let me see that.
Reincarnation and Rebirth.
Our emailer wants us to think that Paula was reincarnated?
We should get back to the lake.
Juliet should have something by now.
You're gonna need a library card
if you want to check something out.
I think we're good, Maudette.
Juliet, it's Gus.
Gus, what's going on? Is Shawn okay?
- Oh, he's fine. - Tell her I said hi.
Ask her what she's wearing.
Do you have anything on Paula Merral?
Do I?
Look, I don't know what you guys
have gotten yourselves into up there,
but Paula Merral drowned here seven years ago.
What?
Did she say hi back?
Is he looking at us?
I think he is.
Dude, take it easy.
That's your seventh piece.
You know I get hungry when I get freaked out.
Besides, you've had five.
Exactly, I believe in portion control.
A girl drowns, gets reincarnated,
and drowns again seven years later?
Worst cinnamon festival ever.
We definitely stick out around here.
True, but not as bad as them.
What are you staring at, Jesup?
Scoot.
Wow, did you guys just hoof it from the highway?
What? Oh, hell no.
No, we took the seven-mile dirt road that connects
this crap hole to the next town over.
We came up here because the chief wanted us
to get a positive I.D. on Paula Merral's body.
To see if it matched the one found in Santa Barbara?
No, see that's the thing.
We never recovered her body.
Which didn't sit well with me.
The inlet where she supposedly drowned has no current,
which means her body should have floated up
between 2.3 to 3.1 days.
Oh, I know this because waiting for corpses to resurface
is a passion of my life.
The sweater she was wearing was found on the shoreline.
And her bike was discovered at the end of a nearby dock.
It was lying next to a pile of sunflower seeds,
which was also weird.
What 11-year-old girl chews sunflower seeds?
Excuse me, Flo.
Where might we find
the proprietors of this fine establishment?
Robert and Michelle?
They've been home ever since they got
the news about Paula.
Do you have something
you want to tell us, Mr. Barker?
12 years ago, Michelle's sister Lucy
ran away from Dual Spires,
taking the seven-year-old Paula with her.
We were worried sick about Paula.
See, Lucy was an incredibly unstable person.
Michelle and I practically raised her daughter for her.
Then one day, we got a letter from Paula
confirming our worst fears.
It described how magic white rocks
were making her mom crazy.
- Methamphetamines? - Along with other stuff.
A couple of letters after that
was the first mention of the abuse.
And that's when we knew we had to act.
You helped her fake her death?
We had no other choice. Lucy wouldn't let her go.
And Paula was all for it.
In fact, it was her idea.
It doesn't matter.
What you did was against the law.
If I had jurisdiction here, you'd be under arrest
for obstruction of justice.
She was happy here.
And safe.
Until two days ago.
Right.
I'm heading back to Santa Barbara
to reopen this case, Mr. Barker.
Once I do,
a warrant will be issued for your arrest.
Come on, O'Hara.
Call when you can.
You two understand, right?
We're not here to judge you, Mr. Barker.
We came to investigate, catch bad guys,
and eat pie.
Not necessarily in that order.
- And it hasn't been. - No.
- We started with the pie. - Always.
Do you think we could take a look in Paula's room?
By all means. We haven't touched a thing.
It's at the top of the stairs on the right.
Dude, the doctor/ombudsman wasn't kidding.
Sister definitely had a dark side.
Hmm.
What are you doing?
Looking for places she may have hid stuff.
Every teenager has a secret spot, Gus.
Remember when I found those
weird photos of John Cusack in your nightstand?
That was Joan.
Really? Oh, that's much less weird.
Wait. No, it's not. Not really. Incoming.
Dude.
Diary. Jackpot.
What does it say?
"Math was really hard today."
Blah, blah, blah.
Seems like normal high school stuff to me.
Whoa.
What is this language?
- Is this Chinese? - No.
It's Latin, Shawn.
Latin?
Gus, Paula must have thought
someone was reading her diary.
We gotta find out what that says.
Yeah, but who do we know that speaks Latin.
"Absens...Haeres." Haeres?
And "non erit." Did you get all that?
Uh-huh. I believe so.
Haven't you ever heard of faxing, Shawn?
I'm sorry, father.
We don't have that capability right now.
Besides, I thought that priests thought
all technology was evil.
It's only now that it begins to dawn on me
how little you learned in my CCD class.
Father, it's very important that we understand
what these passages mean.
All right, all right.
Well, this first part talks about
a young boy she was seeing.
- Someone popular. - Randy.
Yeah, that makes sense.
She refers to him as "R."
Ah, she may have also been seeing someone else.
Excellent, is there a name?
No, just the letter "J."
Letter "J."
All right, thank you father. You've been so much help.
Gus will see you at church on Sunday.
Uh-huh, what about you?
What? Oh, you're breaking up.
What? What...
Can't hear anything.
Hello? Father?
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. There's more.
It really is one square foot of coverage.
Jules, what are you doing here?
Well, Lassiter's handling the reopening of the case
back at the department,
so I thought I would come back and lend a hand.
Fantastic. We have to hit the library,
follow up on a vision I just had.
All right, well, you two go ahead.
I'm gonna notify Sheriff Jackson
that I'm gonna be looking into the case.
What do you say we all meet up
at the diner at, uh...
4:30?
Labradoodle!
Where?
We should go.
I didn't see any labradoodle, Shawn.
Well, you weren't looking very hard.
Nice shoes.
I know.
Gus was wondering if you would like to
be his date to Betty Boop Night at the Road House.
They don't have a Betty Boop Night at the Road House.
Oh, then they don't have my business anymore, either.
Sure you can keep up with me?
I like to dance all night long.
Well...Shawn.
What?
Relax.
Okay, here we go.
This is the most recent Dual Spires yearbook.
Thank you, Maudette.
Feels a little thin.
Small book for a small school.
There were only six people in the graduating class?
Yeah, and even that was large.
Mine only had three.
You, Robert, and Michelle?
You're very impressive, Mr. Spencer.
None of the guys in Paula's class
have names that begin with "J."
Let's see here.
Paula sure is in a lot of photos.
Oh, that's not surprising.
She loved the attention.
Huh.
Thank you, Maudette.
Bye, Gus.
Whoa, Jack.
You didn't even give me a chance
to see if I had food in my teeth.
You're good.
I'm Shawn. He's Blackmunn.
Yeah, yeah. I know who you are.
Oh, good, so you know we're here
to ask you some questions about Paula.
You, uh, you ever think about hanging
any of your photos on the wall?
Well, to me, each photo is like a memory,
so I like to keep them close.
Looks like you and Paula
were more than just friends, huh?
Yeah, we were.
Until about a year ago,
she left me for the Cinnamon King.
You must have been pretty angry with her.
At first I was, yeah.
But then we became best friends.
I was her confidant.
We would lip synch to old records together.
Jon Cryer from Pretty in Pink.
No one in this town has ever seen that movie, Shawn.
Well, I refuse to accept that.
Whoops.
Jack, that's my bad.
- Uh, let me clean this... - No, no, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't.
The broken glass will make for a beautiful photo.
Yeah, it will.
So what do you think?
You think this guy killed Paula?
Most definitely.
He's a freaky dude living in a freaky place.
And have you noticed he won't ever make
eye contact with you?
There's only one reason for that.
Guilt.
Actually, there may be another.
Hey, Jack.
The glass is over here, man.
I know. Yeah.
I gotta tell you, you are the highest functioning
blind person that I've ever seen.
I'm not technically blind.
I still have 30% vision in my right eye...
For now.
A couple of years ago, I developed early onset
macular degeneration.
I'm sensing it was around '05.
Yeah, that's right.
Where were you the night Paula disappeared?
I was with her.
At the beginning of the night.
We took a walk in the forest, and she told me
she wanted to leave Dual Spires.
And I said that was a mistake.
And then, jet blackness.
What does that mean?
It would be a great porn name for you.
I woke up out an hour later.
With this, a bump on my head.
And there was no Paula.
She knocked you out?
Come on, Jack. A big guy like you?
No, no, no.
Somebody else snuck up on me,
and I wasn't looking.
Well, you could have been looking.
Probably wouldn't have made much of a difference.
He's practically blind.
Why didn't you take any of this to the sheriff, Jack?
Because I may have been the last person
to ever see her alive,
and my story sounds fishy at best.
I mean, do you believe me?
Were you taking photos that night on the walk?
Yeah, yeah. Of course I was.
Well, why don't you let us take a look at that film?
Okay.
- Ooh. - Why?
Oh, this is good.
This will go well with the five shots of her boots.
Take a blindfolded photo sometime.
Let me know how it turns out.
Wait a second. Here's something.
Dude, we gotta get to Jules.
Hi, I'm looking for Sheriff Jackson.
The deputy said I could find him here.
Yeah, uh, he just stepped out for a sec.
Do you know when he'll be back?
Oh, any minute now.
You can wait in the back with me.
I'm just doing a little work for shop class.
Okay. I'm Juliet O'Hara.
Randy. Randy Jackson.
How much do you weigh?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to
ask a woman that question, am I?
Not unless you're piloting a very small plane.
About 105?
Will your dad be here soon?
I'd imagine so.
Paula weighed about 105.
You kind of remind me of her.
I understand you two were quite close.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Yeah, it's a real tragedy.
You know what?
Why don't I just come back in, like, an hour or so.
No.
Stay.
Hey!
Get your wood out of her face, Randy.
What's going on?
We know you knocked out Jack Smith,
when he was with Paula the night she died.
Yeah, I thought he was trying to steal my girlfriend.
Really?
You're jealous of the goofy kid
who snaps photos like Jose Feliciano?
Hey, Paula always had a thing for him.
For Jose Feliciano?
No, Jack.
I just gave him a super elbow and he crumbled like feta.
What did Paula do?
She freaked out and went on this rant
about how I'm a hypocrite
'cause I spend a lot of time with my ex-girlfriend.
And who's that?
That's none of your business.
What is it with all the secret relationships in this town?
It's like General Hospital.
You're kidding me.
All right, that's it.
Is there a film, or a television series,
that you people actually saw?
The town gets together every Thursday night
to watch reruns of Everwood.
Okay, I can work with that.
What happened next?
She got mad at me for hurting a blind person.
She then went to find help for Jack.
I offered to go with her,
but she wanted nothing to do with me.
So I tied his shoelaces together,
and went to the library and waited to hear from her.
Of course...I never did.
Just like Treat Williams' character on Everwood.
Never got to say good-bye to his wife.
Shawn...Shawn.
Look, I'm telling you guys the truth.
Plus, I have an alibi, remember?
All right.
But we're on to you, Randy.
Just like the townspeople of Everwood were on to the fact
that Nina was a surrogate mother.
- Will you stop it? - Enough.
She was.
Thank you.
So who do we think Randy's ex is?
Jules, you gotta order a piece of this pie.
I did.
You guys immediately ate it.
Well, it's gotta be someone who's into the creepsters,
but I'm guessing she's older, 'cause I have yet to see a woman
under the age of 35 in this town.
It's also someone that Randy spends consistent time with.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I'm getting something.
I'm at the library almost every night.
Randy and I have a very special bond, you see.
Four slices to go, please.
If Maudette was sleeping with Randy, that's gross.
She practically raised him.
The only thing that would make it grosser
is if she wasn't attractive.
What's wrong with you?
This goes beyond Maudette getting her Pamela smart on.
I think she killed Paula.
- What? - How do you figure?
I'm sensing that Randy went to the library that night
to finally tell Maudette
that he and Paula were leaving Dual Spires.
Sent her into a jealous rage.
She snuck out, killed Paula,
because if she couldn't have Randy,
no woman would.
That changes everything.
Remind me to never have an affair with an older woman
or a librarian.
Maudette.
That's no good.
Oh.
I am so sick of this town.
Go ahead and wheel her around the corner to my office.
I can't believe Maudette Hornsby
was taking advantage of my son.
Taking advantage is a little strong.
The dude was 17 and she was fine.
What exactly constitutes the difference between
altaboy Gus and degenerate Gus?
Reputation was everything to Maudette.
The prospect of the town knowing about that scandal
was probably more than she could live with.
I better speak to my boy.
And I'll get on that autopsy.
The fact that she murdered someone
may have also hurt her reputation.
All right, I'm gonna get back and brief the department.
Do you want me to drive you to your car?
- No. - Yes.
We'll meet you back there in a bit.
Okay.
Why are we not getting the hell out of here?
Because my theory is half-baked, Gus.
Something isn't sitting right with me.
You know what's not sitting right with me, Shawn?
Being stuck in a tiny town with no phone access
and all white people.
Let's go.
Now where are you going?
If we leave now, I'll let you play the theme
to Weird Science over and over in the car.
What do you say?
That's happening regardless. This way.
Here is the most recent Dual Spires yearbook.
The sender is me@underthenail.com.
Maudette was the one emailing us.
That makes no sense.
Why would the killer lure detectives to the scene
and then start feeding them clues?
Because she didn't kill Paula, Gus.
I'm never gonna leave this town.
She suspected foul play
and knew she'd be the prime suspect
if anyone found out about her relationship with Randy.
So she started snooping around on her own,
discovered the drowning
seven years ago in Santa Barbara.
Found us on the Internet.
So who killed Paula Merral?
I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
Gus, stop messing around.
I'm not, Shawn.
- Shawn? - Yes, Gus.
Something's burning.
I see that.
Help us! Somebody help us.
We're stuck in this tiny room! Help us!
Let us out!
Shawn, we're gonna die in this tiny, stupid room.
Gus, don't be the scream from holding back the years.
You're right, though. This could be it for us.
Man, we are gonna burn!
Yes, I know.
No, wait, wait! Who are you?
Gus!
Father Westley.
Thank God you were here, literally.
We were about to be wicker men.
How did you find us?
I just had faith.
- Really? - No, boys.
I just got to town, and I saw the fire.
I saw the tandem bicycle outside.
It all added up.
But how did you know
we were in trouble in the first place?
You hung up on me
when I was transcribing the Latin, Shawn.
I just... I got excited.
I took one little step to the left.
And that girl, Paula.
She felt she was in danger.
She was afraid.
Which led me to be afraid for the two of you.
And, honestly, I owed you one anyway
because of that whole exorcism thing.
What happened to your hair?
Oh...Yeah, it was an ill-advised attempt
to cover up some gray that went terribly awry.
But technically, Sister Rita's to blame.
She's the one that did my hair.
Guys, get in. We don't have much time.
You have a car? What gives?
Why should we trust you?
You probably shouldn't, but if you stay here
you're gonna be sitting ducks for whoever it was
who tried to burn you guys alive.
Just... I'll explain everything at the cabin.
Get in.
Have a seat, I'll make a fire.
All right, we're listening.
My great grandfather founded Dual Spires.
That's him there.
I might have guessed that one.
After World War I ended,
and seeing the absolute worst in man,
he decided to settle here
with two other soldiers from his squadron
and their families.
I was wrong, it isn't Witness.
This is The Village.
The Village was a ridiculous film.
"Those we do not speak of."
Remember all that nonsense?
It's always been the responsibility
of the three leaders of the families
to watch over the town and its best interests.
Try to understand,
their intentions were so pure.
Create a community that wouldn't be subjected
to the horrors that they lived through.
And it worked for 40 years.
Dual Spires was perfect, until...
The great sawmill fire of '58.
It was arson.
A drifter,
who had been in town doing odd jobs.
Eight people burned to death.
After that, we became insulated.
Looked at all outsiders as a threat.
Like Paula. She was afraid.
She thought she was being watched.
- Even followed. - She was.
Which is why Michelle and I were
supportive of her decision to leave.
I...We...loved her so much.
We just wanted her to be happy.
Did Paula ever know that you were her father?
Yes.
I had to tell her, in order to get her
to come here in the first place.
What about your wife?
Did she know you had an affair with her sister?
No.
She never will.
I think she's been through enough.
You know, for a town that prides itself
on honesty and do-goodedness,
you all have a lot of skeletons in your closet.
Judge not, that ye may be judged, Gus.
Although, I must say, in this case,
it's pretty messed up.
I know who killed Paula Merral.
Sheriff, you can put the gun down.
This is Father Westley. He saved us.
My hair doesn't normally look like this.
Bless me father, for I have sinned.
But I'm afraid I can't put away this gun.
No, I suppose you can't.
You see, the other two families
that settled this town were the Jacksons
and the Goodens, am I right?
And as its other two leaders, you panicked
when you caught wind that the evil Paula
was running away with Randy.
I mean, without the Cinnamon King,
who would lead over future generations?
The good doctor can't conceive.
The Barkers didn't have a child of their own,
which means Randy is the only direct descendent
to protect Dual Spires and your way of life.
Especially now that the sheriff is dying of cancer.
I know he's hurting, but he won't talk to me.
The two of you wielded all the power necessary
to kill Paula and make it look like an accident.
And you would have gotten away with it too,
if Maudette hadn't sent those emails.
But even that was nothing
a little rope couldn't take care of.
Isn't that right, sheriff?
You truly are amazing.
But you shouldn't have come here.
Our business was not your concern.
Your business... Is murder.
Her death, though tragic,
saves our future.
You killed my little girl.
Um, what about us?
Honestly, far less tragic.
We barely know you.
I'm in my own special category.
Right?
Really, father?
Freeze!
Drop it, now.
How did you find us?
Aw, miracles happen every day, Gus.
This is a miracle?
No, I called the detectives before I came to town.
You sly old dog.
We ran into Jack, and he led us here.
They thought this place was a secret.
I've photographed every single inch of this town.
Ah, good work, son.
We're over here.
Oh, Jack. Yo!
It's brighter than the sun.
It's nice to finally have some alone time.
It is.
Though, you know, we're not really alone, Shawn.
You were not lying about the pie, Burton.
- It's heavenly. - Right?
Now on to ecclesiastes.
- It's one of my favorites. - Hmm?
Couldn't blow off a priest. I'm pretty sure that's a sin.
It's not so much Gus, and Father Westley, and Carlton.
That is a damn fine cup of cider.
It's the other people.
Three cinnamon pies, please.
What do you say we get out of here?
I'm in.
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