Original subtitles

previously on privileged... is this sage baker?

speaking. nigel barker told me

i need to be in the sage and rose business.

we are having lunch with patricia kingston tomorrow!

who's patricia kingston?

huge publicist!

part of the reason that i wanted to work here

was so that i could meet people that were worth writing about.

who's more accomplished than laurel?

you're writing an unauthorized biography of laurel?

i did something bad. what did you do?

i decided to do more research on laurel.

♪♪♪

i??

well, maybe you shouldn't tell her.

if i could turn back time

and unlearn what i learned, i would.

what do you want from me?

i don't want anything from you.

well, let's see how honorable you really are.

today is finally here!

you nearly cost me my eyebrows.

i'm sorry, i've just been waiting for today for so long,

and now it's finally here.

and quite frankly,

it could not have come at a better time.

my best friend from yale is flying in from new york today.

her name is caryn,

and you're going to love her.

well, i'm only starting to love you.

let's not muddy the waters.

we were roommates all four years.

we were both scholarship students in the honors journalism program.

anyway, now she works as an assistant at the finley review.

ooh, fancy. mm-hmm.

and we've both been so busy,

we haven't seen each other in forever.

it'll be nice to finally have someone to commiserate with.

marco, i need to see the final menu for the shareholder's dinner.

marco: right away.

morning, laurel.

you can bring it into my office.

and the hate continues.

no, it's just a phase. she goes through that with everyone. it'll pass.

ah, i'm not so sure this one will.

mmm, not that she doesn't have a reason to be angry at me, but...

you ever gonna tell me why?

nope.

ooh, good, you're here!

see, that's the kind of greeting i like.

danke.

so my friend caryn is flying in from new york

and she's gonna stay with me for a couple of days,

and i was hoping you could show us

some of that rich-ass palm beach livin'.

you know, maybe we could take a spin on of your yachts tomorrow afternoon.

how many yachts do you think i have?

ok, well, if the yacht's unavailable,

we'll go for a ride on your horses or elephants.

you're the billionaire, you tell me what's going on.

as much as i'd love to take you ladies out for a spin

on the davis family elephants,

sorry to say that i'm working this week.

you're what?

i'm working.

didn't it ever occur to you that i might have a job?

uh, no.

but that's probably 'cause i've known you for 4 months,

and you never mentioned you had one,

but i'm silly like that.

i work for peter friedland.

he's a sports photographer.

hey, like you. like me...

except he gets paid

and published and all that good stuff.

he does mostly freelance,

so whenever he's doing something in town,

he hires me to get his coffee, do his bidding

and absorb his genius.

you do coffee runs?

you are blowin' my mind here, william.

yeah, well...

tomorrow he's giving me a really cool break, actually.

there's this charity tennis tournament over in west palm,

and he's gonna let me cover it and critique my work.

really? that's amazing.

i can probably score you and your friend

some seats if you want.

the brian brothers are playing.

well, that would be great.

i mean, if the safari's unavailable.

you know i don't really own any elephants, right?

i don't know! hey, girls.

big week next week.

finals are just around the corner.

we gotta get serious.

first up is english lit.

aww, yeah!

do you know that since you moved into this house,

i actually look forward to going to school every morning.

aw, thanks, sage. not a compliment.

ok, well, you don't have to worry about me finishing it,

because i am so loving a farewell to arms.

and i'm only a few chapters in,

but i'm already picturing james franco as frederick.

how hot would that be?

oh, so hot.

and i'm glad you like it.

that's really great, rose.

yeah, well, some of the vocab's a little tough,

but i'm using that online dictionary you showed me.

lly making a big difference.

oh, good, 'cause when we get around to s.a.t. stuff,

that's really going to help--

oh! ooh, ooh, ooh!

ooh, ooh, ooh!

you're here!

i'm here! yay! hi!

come on.

give me your stuff, give me your stuff.f,

oh, my god!

i cannot believe you actually live here now!

i am in awe.

and i am in awe of your outfit.

thanks!

not a compliment.

why do people just assume?

uh, caryn, this is rose

and sage baker. girls,

this is caryn, my best friend from yale.

oh, nice to meet you.

you, too.

yeah. let's go, rose. we're going to be late.

bye.

do you realize that one pair of their shoes

would, like, pay my rent for a month?

i don't mean to make you sad,

but a half a pair of those shoes would cover it.

[chuckles] oh, sorry. hang on.

ugh, it's work. you wanna answer it?

no, i'm gonna call back later.

my boss is being such a nightmare.

i don't think he understands the concept of vacation.

yeah, my boss hasn't exactly been a joy to be around lately, either.

i thought you loved your boss.

i did. i mean, i do.

uh...it just got weird.

oh. it sounds like a good, old-fashioned bitch session is in order.

yes, yes.

a million times yes.

oh, actually, that's my stuff.

oh, no, no, don't worry.

that's rami. he's the butler.

oh. hi, rami the butler.

do not hug me.

ok.

a butler with space issues.

come on, let me show you around. ok.

ok, then, what about the perfume idea?

we love perfume.

mmm, we can't do anything with make-up.

it's too close to laurel.

we don't want this to seem like a nepotism situation.

plus, i promised my tutor no publicizing

until after 3 p.m.

hmm, girls. here's the sit-i-ation.

you've definitely got the "it" factor,

and you may be a big deal here on rich people island,

but you cross that bridge, nobody's ever heard of you.

well, that sucks.

well, i mean, not necessarily.

i mean, it just means we can make you into anything.

we just have to start somewhere.

anywhere. anything.

do you blog? ugh.

you know, the little one's getting on my nerves.

we don't mean to be picky.

it's just, we've all seen

how these things can go.

i mean, a regional print ad,

some bad reality tv,

and then perez catches you with a drink in your hand

and your 15 minutes are up.

are you kidding? what 15 minutes?

most crazies get a full primetime hour these days.

but we want more than that.

we want longevity; a career.

i mean, look at madonna.

that woman is literally a hundred years old,

and she's still relevant.

that's what we want.

yes, but queen esther,

she arrived on the scene with a clear, definable skill, all right?

you have to give me something to work with.

rose can sing.

mmm! yeah, i can.

and sage is practically an expert at the guitar.

yeah. eric clapton has a house next to ours

in turks and caicos. he taught me all kinds of stuff.

well, how come you didn't mention this before?

we didn't think it mattered.

well, it certainly makes my job easier.

do you have something i can listen to?

um, yeah, laurel, she bought us

a day at the recording studio for our sweet 16.

i can bring you a copy of the single we cut.

good.

and i can get you eric's number if you need it.

mmm, yeah, no thanks. i have it.

all right, good. give me some time

to work this new angle out,

and i will get back to you, all right?

ciao, bellas.

our first professional meeting.

i feel so business-y.

i know.

maybe we should hire an assistant.

i can't believe you pulled the plug

on the whole laurel book.

i thought it was such a great idea.

i know, i know, and i was having so much fun with it,

but then things got off-track with laurel.

which i still don't understand.

i mean, the book was basically a love letter to her.

it's complicated.

and now i just feel totally stalled.

oh, i know.

i spend most of my time making copies,

and when i'm not doing that, i'm going on coffee runs

for my boss and making sure

the deli doesn't put too much mustard

on his pastrami sandwich.

i'm so glad i got my ivy league degree.

oh, laurel.

um, this is my friend caryn.

would you like to explain this to me?

i don't know what that is.

it's the girls' progress reports.

oh, yeah, yeah. i put that on your desk a while ago.

you must have been out of town.

please. it's obvious why you wanted

to keep these from me. they're not exactly

setting the academic world on fire, are they?

um, i wasn't trying to keep anything from you.

i--i thought you'd be pleased to see

how much their grades have gone up since last year.

i couldn't care less about last year.

it's this year that counts.

and from what i can tell,

you're not working nearly hard enough.

i'm so sorry.

i'm just gonna take this outside.

i don't recall giving you permission to have a houseguest.

i cleared it with geraldine.

geraldine doesn't have the authority

to decide who sleeps under this roof.

if you're gonna use my home as your own personal ritz carlton,

you should ask me directly.

i'm sorry. i--

i tried to get a hold of you,

but you've been a little hard to pin down lately.

you've made your bed, megan.

i suggest you figure out how to lie in it.

i know.

was--is that your boss, too?

it was.

oh, my god.

did we just get chewed out simultaneously,

because that would be almost poetic.

not exactly. um...

oh, no. did--

did you just get fired?

actually, no.

um...ha ha, i just got promoted.

oh! really?

ah, well, that is great!

wow! congratulations.

you are in luck, because marco

just happened to bake some of his famous

"congratulations on becoming

an assistant editor" cupcakes.

how fortunate that i happen to be

an assistant editor in need of congratulations.

yeah, it worked out kinda nicely, huh?

if he made his "mazal tov on your bar mitzvah" brownies.

you are so sweet to do this.

and i was thinking.

yes?

ok, this might be slightly awkward, but...

now that the assistant position

at the finley review is available,

i was thinking maybe you'd want to take it.

your old job?

it would be so much fun.

you could move back to new york.

we could get an apartment together.

i mean, this is exactly the kind of job you wanted

right out of college.

well, it was the job that i wanted out of college.

i applied for it, but you got it, remember?

that's how i wound up at page 11.

oh, i didn't--i didn't want this to be awkward.

no, it's not. it's not. it's just--

you know, i sort of have already done the assistant thing.

and, you know, come on.

you were just telling me how awful that job was.

i was being a whiner.

this job is so much closer to doing

what you actually want to be doing.

i hate to see you wasting your time as a nanny--

i'm a tutor, not a nanny.

megan... come on.

we're gonna be late for will's tennis tournament.

you're mad, aren't you?

no, i'm not mad. i...

it's hard.

i mean, come on.

yesterday when you got here,

we were on the same page.

and now you're on a completely different stratosphere,

and i'm sort of... all the misery without the company.

i know, i'm-- i'm sorry.

don't be! i'm psyched for you.

and i appreciate you wanting to help,

but i'm happy here.

come on! i am.

i just need to get another project going, that's all.

and you and i both know that i wouldn't get any writing done

if i took some crazy assistant job in new york.

that's probably true.

if i'm gonna get a book off the ground,

this is the best place for me to be.

now! you ready to see a sporting event?

ok, tell me again why we're doing this?

oh, you'll see, trust me.

all right.

that book was so lame.

i can't believe they make us read this crap.

you're finished, already?

why would an american guy join the italian army?

it makes no sense.

my ass could write better than ernest hemingway.

wait, how could you be done already?

i'm barely halfway.

well, maybe if you didn't waste all your time

looking up every other word,

you'd be done, too.

hey, megan says that increasing my vocabulary

is the easiest way to boost my...comprehension.

megan is old.

hello?

?? patricia, hey!

patricia: sage, honey... where's your sister? we gotta talk.

are you both there? i'm gonna knock your socks off.

hey, patricia, we're both on.

patricia: my darlings, i have some amazing news.

sit down.

all right, listen up.

the lauren-kate consortium is a group of investors.

they're artists, they're musicians, movie stars;

creative people with much too much money

who party like it's 1999.

ok, she's old. shh!

anyway, they own dozens of nightclubs from l.a. to dubai,

and tomorrow night, they are opening one in miami called chanm?

all right? big opening, and you two are going to be there.

you are gonna walk the red carpet,

you are gonna smile for the cameras...

that sounds great!

yeah, well, it gets even greater, all right?

they are looking for a hot girl opening act,

and because i work miracles, thank you,

you two are the hot girls.

hello?

both: we're here!

all right, listen, pick one song.

just some cool cover, ok?

tomorrow afternoon is the rehearsal and the sound check.

tonight i need you to meet with adelmo,

my favorite stylist. are you with me?

i hope you girls are ready to be famous,

'cause you're gonna be.

oh, my god!

we're gonna be famous!

caryn: ok, now i get it.

yay, sports.

i told you.

although you might want to at least pretend to watch the game.

or the match, or whatever it is they call it.

who can pay attention with all this man candy in front of us?

now i understand why you're so happy here.

caryn! what?!

will is basically the hottest guy ever.

why haven't you thrown yourself at his feet?

'cause i have a little self respect.

i want to put him a cracker.

i'm sorry to interrupt, but the man you're ogling

happens to be someone i know, so...

oh, we are not ogling. she is ogling.

just in case you were going to report back this incident.

how close are you guys? and by that i mean,

do you know what type he usually goes for?

well, you have to ask him. i'm just his boss.

you're peter friedland?!

yes, i am. hi!

yeah. and you are?

i'm megan smith. this is my friend caryn green.

hi, nice to meet you.

oh, will has told me all about you.

he's so excited he'll be working for you.

oh, he's a good kid. takes pretty decent shots, too.

so how do you know will?

oh, um, he's my neighbor. well, he's not my neighbor,

but he lives in the house next to the house that i live in palm beach.

palm beach?

yeah, yeah. i work-slash-live at les anges

and he lives with his parents over at via tranquilla.

i love how all the fancy palm beach mansions

have names. it's hilarious. i know.

i guess i never realized that will lived with his parents.

oh, no, no, i don't want you to get the wrong idea.

he doesn't live there because he has to.

he's not a slacker or anything.

i mean, if my family owned half of the oil in this country,

i would probably live with them until i got married.

wait a second, are you telling me that will davis is...

will davis as in davis oil?

um, yeah.

sorta seems like he didn't know that.

yeah. i'm starting to get that idea.

it's a shame.

hey, will, gotta talk.

oh, hey, megan. you're not really supposed to be up here.

and my boss is there, so--

oh, i know, i know.

we're sitting next to him. he's so nice.

oh. right. well, have fun.

ok, will do. but here's the thing.

can we talk later? i really have to...

for sure. in a jiff.

um, i just wanted to give you a head's up.

i told peter friedland that you were really, really rich.

not sure if that's important to you,

but just wanted to let you know, ok?

wait, you did what?! ok, guess it is important.

glad i checked in with you.

that--that was an amazing shot.

well, i'm sorry you missed that.

come on.

all right, explain this to me.

how did you manage to work my family's money

into the conversation?

well, uh, i didn't do it on purpose.

it just sort of came out. i didn't know it was a secret.

it's not a secret.

it's just not something that my boss needed to know.

i'm so sorry. i--

but if it makes you feel any better,

i don't think he thinks it's that big of a deal.

yeah, it is.

i didn't tell peter who my family was

because i wanted us to have a normal relationship.

i mean, he probably wouldn't have hired me if he knew who i was.

that's crazy.

not so much. i bet a lot of people

would think that it's odd that i'm working for $10 an hour

bringing some guy coffee and wiping off dirty camera lenses all day.

ok, well, he may think it's odd,

but he can't fire you for being rich.

never mind. you don't-- you don't get it.

no, i do, i do get it. you want him to like you

for who you are, but he does.

he just told me that he thought you were a good kid.

it's not about him liking me for me.

all right? i'm not marrying the guy.

it's just that our whole dynamic is going to be off now.

i think you're overreacting...

no, it's not about what you think.

i'm sorry.

it was an accident.

never mind.

all right, it's fine.

i gotta get back out there.

all this for a study session?

we crammed for our chaucer final on nothing but cold pizza and pop rocks.

and if i remember correctly, we both aced it.

well, these girls have a little bit harder time focusing.

so if a little cucumber water

gets them to read a few chapters, than so be it.

did i tell you, my first assignment

is to help my boss edit a piece by michael chabon.

holy crap, you're kidding me.

that's amazing. hey, girls.

ooh, a little fancy schmancy for a night of studying, huh?

we're going out.

uh, no, you're not.

we have a study session, remember?

oh, well, i mean, we just figured

it was canceled since you have a friend in town.

hi, marcy.

um, it's caryn, and nice try.

but get your butts in the seats.

mm-mmm, not happening.

we have a meeting with our new stylist.

what stylist-- what are you talking about?

laurel already signed off on the whole thing,

and since it has nothing to do with school,

it's none of your business.

well, laurel also came to me very upset

about your recent progress reports.

so there's a little discrepancy.

look, girls, i don't know what's going on here,

but this final counts for 30% of your grade.

we still have to deal with subtext and symbolism

archetypes, historical contexts.

i wish i could put you in a historical context right now.

ok, wait, look, megan,

we're really sorry about tonight,

but we cannot get out of this.

it's like a huge deal. what is it?

[sighs] whatever.

tell her. ok.

we signed with a really huge publicist

who's helping us get started on, like, career stuff.

[scoffs] megan: what?

look, i promise you it won't get in the way of school stuff, ok?

it already is getting in the way.

no, but we can do both!

i mean, you find time to do your job

and all your personal stuff, right?

yeah, but i'm a multitasker at heart.

so that's what we'll be.

unless you don't think we can do it.

which would mean you don't believe in us,

which would really suck.

rose, i believe in you girls,

but you can't keep skipping study sessions, ok?

hmm. that took forever.

thank you for being so cool about this. i won't let you down, ok?

bye.

are you not dying to know what their career thing is?

i'm guessing nuclear physics.

i'm kidding!

no, i know.

ugh. they're not usually like that.

well, they were, but i thought we were making so much progress.

meggie, those girls are never going to care about school

the way you and i did.

don't kill yourself over it.

well, i guess the good news is

is that now i have a night off.

we can get all dolled up and hit the clubs.

what?! don't look at me like that!

we are gonna have a real miami night out on the town.

oh, my god, do you remember

that guy in postmodern drama

with the fake british accent?

oh, he was so annoying!

and he got away with calling professor bernstein bob.

i mean, who does that? i know!

it is so great having you here.

i miss having a girlfriend around.

i miss you, too.

and i've been thinking.

just hear me out, ok?

you are an amazingly talented writer.

it's silly for you not to be

working on something just because of this tutoring job.

i told you, i was going to find a new project.

i just haven't figured out what that is yet.

well, if you ask me, it's staring you right in the face.

uh, pork fried rice?

the effects of msg, extreme bloating?

your life.

think about it.

what you are experiencing right now is outrageous.

i bet the finley review would be very interested in something like this.

i doubt the finley review would be interested

in publishing a story about me.

well, not just you.

it would be an expos? on your life here.

a broke yale graduate--

whose apartment burned down.

whose apartment burned down,

gets a job working as a tutor

at a fancy palm beach mansion,

neighbor to a handsome billionaire who works for minimum wage...

who works for minimum wage

and probably isn't speaking to me anymore.

see, it totally writes itself.

it's like nanny diaries meets devil wears prada

with an edgy, tmz spin.

i couldn't do that. why not?

it's your story, so you don't have to get anyone's permission.

and you're the one who said

that you wanted to stay in palm beach so you can write.

so...why not write this?

that's true, but...

it's not so crazy when you think about it.

you've always been so convinced

that you wanted to write someone else's biography.

maybe you're supposed to be writing your own.

these are good, will.

some of these are very good.

oh, you really think so? i wasn't sure

about the composition with this batch.

no, i like them, they're good.

oh, no, no, sit down.

it's ok, it's ok, really.

i'm sure the waiter will reappear one of these days.

what?

i've been refilling your coffee for over a year now, peter.

you never had a problem with it before.

i didn't know you would wipe your ass with my paychecks before.

i'm sorry, was that too blunt?

nope.

i get it.

but i hope you can understand why i chose to not tell you about my situation.

money makes most people uncomfortable,

and you assumed i was one of those people,

which means you must not think very highly of me.

no, that's not the case at all.

well, then what is it, will?

i'm curious.

what goes through the mind

of a twenty-something billionaire?

i just didn't want you to question my dedication to this job.

i'm very grateful for the opportunity

to work with you and learn from you.

i'm very passionate about photography.

oh, i know you are.

i take this very seriously.

i just needed you to treat me like you treat anybody else.

fair enough.

go on, get me a refill, kid.

no, i'm just kidding.

sit down. what are you doing?

sit. i'm just messing with you. sit.

really. hey, just out of curiosity...

how much are you worth, actually?

♪ never know how much i love you ♪

♪ never know how much i care ♪

♪ when you put your arms around me ♪

♪ i get a fever that's so hard to bare ♪

♪ you give me fever ♪

♪when you kiss me ♪

♪ fever when you hold me tight ♪

♪ a fever ♪

♪ in the morning ♪

♪ fever all through the night ♪

♪ everybody's got the fever ♪

♪ that is something you all know ♪

♪ fever isn't ♪

♪ such a new thing ♪

♪ fever started long ago ♪

rose baker, people!

was that ok?

are you kidding me? you are a star, my little lovely.

you are a freaking star! holly, call lenka's people,

tell them we will not need her this weekend after all.

thank them, ok? you had backup for us?

no, no, no, don't be silly, honey.

it was a whole different thing.

so you really think we were good?

i think you were spectacular!

i mean, when i got that cd,

i thought maybe you'd broken out the digital voice enhancer,

but you are the real deal.

what about-- what about me? was i ok?

yes, honey, you looked very pretty.

you just keep doing what you're doing, ok?

all right, listen to me.

have you ever thought about getting into acting?

i mean, with those pipes, what,

you could--you could be in the sequel to hairspray!

lucy: i don't think i'd be that good at acting.

yeah, you know what, zac efron said the same thing to me,

and look at him now. sit down for a bit.

ok.

all right, here's the deal.

here's what i want you to do.

i want you...

rose? sage?

caught under a shoe avalanche?

hello?

what's with the furrowed brow?

someone suck all the cream out of your ÉClair?

ugh. sorry.

sometimes the cooking metaphors go astray.

so where's your brainy gal pal?

she's on the phone with michael chabon.

that's right.

she's schmoozing with pulitzer prize winning novelists,

and i'm pretty much a glorified baby-sitter.

not that glorified.

i mean, i could be writing, too, you know.

all right? i got ideas.

and instead of collaborating with brilliant writers,

i'm getting ditched by the girls again.

so why don't you talk to laurel?

i would love to talk to laurel,

but she won't take any of my calls.

and she gets all mad about the girls' grades not being good enough,

but then she lets them hire a freaking publicist!

i mean, it's like she wants me to fail.

so don't let her. why not?

i mean, seriously, marco.

why am i the only one busting my ass if nobody cares?

i mean, if nobody wants me around,

then why the hell am i here?

ok, if i knew you were throwing a pity party,

i would have whipped up some hours d'oeuvres.

i'm sorry. it's just...

i don't know, i thought having caryn here

would make me feel better about my life,

but it's only made me feel worse.

and i know the race is long, and it's only with myself,

but...i don't know, sometimes it's nice

just to have a running buddy, you know?

well, if you're looking for someone to commiserate with,

why don't you call will? boy's got real problems.

what kind of problems does will have?

did he forget to charge his golf cart?

no. he lost his job.

they were saying that the deadline might have changed for that? [mouthing]

um, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, they told me about that.

absolutely. yeah, i am, um,

i just want you to know, you know, whatever you need from me.

i mean, i can do copies, i can do it from here, actually.

i'm flying in tomorrow, so i'll be available--

will: hey, this is will. leave a message and i'll get back to you.

hi.

it's me.

megan...smith.

red hair.

i was, uh, just calling

to apologize again.

and to see how you were doing,

and you probably hate me right now,

which i totally understand. it's perfectly warranted.

but anyway, if you just want to give me a call back,

that would be great, ok?

ok. uh, bye.

yeah. yes.

ok, great, yeah, yeah.

tomorrow at 7:00, i will definitely be there.

girls! there you are.

oh, you look spectac!

oh, you're sparkly.

ready to work those magic pipes, huh?

well, i guess. all right, good.

i want to introduce you to perez, all right?

not only can he make anybody famous,

but his website is the perfect place to drop your single.

single? mm-hmm.

stick with me, you'll have an entire album.

you mean me and sage, right?

what? well, the album.

it'd be for us to do together?

yeah, absolutely. come on. perez! whoo!

honey!

hi!

look at you, you are wasting away!

i'll take that as a compliment.

is there any other way to take it?

this is rose baker.

all right? she is the next amy winehouse--

minus the crack habit. and this is sage, her sister.

rose is working on some music.

i'm telling you, it's gonna blow you away.

tell him about your music, honey.

is she a mute?

ha ha, you'll have to forgive my sister.

she gets very shy when she talks about her music.

besides, she's saving her voice for the performance.

i understand. her majesty does the same thing.

love madonna, she's our hero.

in fact, i think our first single will be reminiscent of ray of light,

but with a totally retro, beastie boys, run dmc hip-hop vibe.

shut up!

i love it!

i can't wait to hear it.

we can't wait to play it for you.

darling, i think this is the beginning

of a beautiful friendship.

well, come on, let's take a picture.

there you go.

i amam so sad you're leaving early.

the fun was just getting started.

i know. i wish i could stay!

♪♪♪

♪♪

did hot neighbor call you back yet?

no.

he's probably still mad at me.

not .???

oh, stop it!

it is not your fault he got fired, ok?

and if he is mad at you, he's just another

palm beach idiot. end of story.

so listen, i, um,

i spoke to my boss about your article.

he's very interested.

what article?

well, i presented it as an article,

but you know, you could always write it as a first chapter,

and then maybe we could do a book

like gopnik did with paris to the moon--

whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, caryn.

back up. i never said i was going to be writing that piece.

how could you not?

it's--it's such a great idea.

it's not like i can write that

while i'm still working here,

and i'm certainly not in any position

to be quitting right now. no, why would you quit?

no, it's way better if you stay here longer, anyway.

you get more dirt that way.

i don't care about the dirt.

that's not the kind of writing that i want to do.

and...more importantly,

that's not the kind of person that i want to be.

you wouldn't be writing anything that isn't true.

i mean, laurel is an ice queen,

and those girls are vapid princesses

who can't read a book without cucumber water.

hey! i'm overstating for dramatic purposes,

but you know what i mean.

they're not like that at all, and the fact that you're judging them so harshly

without even knowing them--

oh, you are being way too sensitive here, ok?

it's called journalism.

no, it's not journalism.

it's tacky and cheap and i'm not going to do it.

you're really putting me in a bad situation, megan, ok?

i already told my boss we were gonna do this,

and he got all excited.

well, you shouldn't have done that!

why do you care about these people so much?

they obviously don't give a crap about you.

we're going through a rough patch.

it's not always like this.

i-i don't even know you right now.

the megan i knew would have killed

for an opportunity like this.

this is the kind of situation you and i used to dream about--

no! it's not.

and if you ever thought that i was

the kind of person that would intentionally hurt someone

just to get ahead at a stupid magazine,

then...you really didn't know me at all.

i'll talk to you later.

i wonder how long it'll take before our pictures are posted online.

[yawns] oh, i don't know.

oh, you were so good with perez.

i still cannot get over it.

wasn't he so nice? yeah.

♪♪♪

oh, without a doubt.

i can't believe orlando bloom gave you his phone number.

are you going to call him?

hello? what?

oh, never mind.

we'll do a recap later. i'm exhausted.

yeah, me, too.

i didn't know we'd be out that late.

get some rest.

you got a lot of bragging to do at school tomorrow.

yeah, and our first final.

oh, right. blecch!

megan: where's the butler when you need him?

you were actually going to leave without saying good-bye?

i didn't think you'd want to talk to me.

come on.

don't you remember some of the blowout fights we had in college?

last night wouldn't have even registered on the richter scale.

i do remember a broken lamp once.

i'm sorry if i put you

in an awkward position with your boss.

it's not your fault.

i shouldn't have been so presumptuous.

i truly never thought the article would be an issue.

unintentional magazine pun.

look, you obviously care a great deal about these people.

not sure i understand why,

but... it's not my place to judge.

i know how it seems, but the truth is,

i'm responsible for a lot of what's

going on around here lately.

laurel does have the right to be mad at me,

and i did overstep my boundaries.

and the girls are smart!

meggie! no, no, no, i'm serious.

i mean, they may not care about school right now,

but i want them to have choices later on in their lives,

and i feel like it's my job to make sure that happens.

i know it sounds stupid.

no, it does not sound stupid.

it sounds like you.

look, this family may not know

how lucky they are to have you,

but i do.

oh, there's my cab.

all right.

ok.

and i promise to keep writing while i'm down here.

♪♪♪

good.

call me when you land.

i will. bye.

that was a quick trip.

laurel...

um, i'm glad you're here.

do you have a minute?

i just want you to know that i took a look at the girls' grades,

and you were right.

they do need to step it up,

and i need to step it up.

so to that end i added another study session

to their schedule.

they've been a little distracted lately,

and i just need to get their focus back.

fine.

so, did you have a nice time with your friend?

yeah.

it was nice to see her.

crossed my mind that you might have been inclined

to book a ticket home with her.

if you don't want me here anymore, laurel,

i can leave. we don't need to make a big deal about it,

nobody needs to know why.

but for whatever it's worth,

i want to stay.

working for you has...

it's been everything that i'd hoped it would be.

ok. well, at least i can see the potential.

i know that things haven't been easy for you these past few weeks.

i haven't been easy on you.

in my position, it's difficult

to place one's trust in anyone.

i understand.

more than ever, i understand.

and i plan to prove my loyalty to you for as long as it takes.

i appreciate that.

you know, i was impressed with you the first time i met you.

it's quite a relief to think

my instincts might not have been wrong after all.

len just flew these in from fauchon, paris.

shall we indulge?

you have 55 minutes to complete your essays.

remember the three cs--

clear, cogent, concise.

good luck.

will: you busy?

oh, no, no, no. no, no, no.

i was just--

rewriting your apology letter to me?

make sure you spellcheckspell-checkit.

don't laugh.

i've drafted a few pretty pathetic emails

just in case you never call me back.

i would never not call you back.

i still want to apologize.

you don't have to.

no, yes, i do. i feel terrible.

i should never have said anything. it's ok.

i still cannot believe that your boss would fire you over this.

not only is it unfair, it's so totally illegal!

in fact, you know what? give me his phone number.

ok? because i can be really scary on the phone.

oh, i'm sure you can. and it's nice of you to offer

to go to bat for me like that,

but honestly, it's all good.

i wasn't fired. i quit.

you quit? yeah.

well, the more i thought about it,

it was time to move on.

i've been playing it safe for a while now.

you have?

i have.

maybe all this happened for a reason.

you know, force me to step it up a notch

and see what else is out there.

so, in a way,

i helped.

in a way.

well, good, good, that is good.

because i'm about to help some more,

because i'm very good at the next part.

and what's the next part?

rÉSumÉS, job hunting, interviews.

i so totally rock at the interview.

you wouldn't think so, because of my whole nervous talking thing,

but it can be pretty helpful in hiring situations.

is that right? definitely.

we'll put together a really professional portfolio.

i have a label maker. of course you do.

organization is the key.

the first thing that we will do

is send out about 20 emails

and see what... comes back. i...

you know, i found it best to stagger everything--

wait.

what?

i think i left my label maker in my old apartment.

i'll get a new one.

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