All language subtitles for Privileged s01e03 What You Really Really Want.eng

megan: previously
on privileged...

i want to write
about people that matter.

this is a tabloid magazine!

if you want to write
about fancy people,

you have to travel
in fancy people circles.

a dear friend of mine
is interviewing people at her estate in palm beach.

hello, mrs. limoges.

call me laurel.

my daughter left me
2 grandchildren,

rose and sage.

their grades are lousy.

you want me to be
their tutor?

what do you
want to h?

i want to get into duke.

i think my mom
woulhave been...

pretty psyched
if that happened.

then we are going
to get you into duke.

you don't think
i can take care of myself?

i take care of
me and rose.

if she has a problem,
she comes to me.

that's how it works.

it's not your job
to save these girls.

i can help them live up
to their full potential,

what's wrong with that?

your sister asked
if i'd give her a ride home.

seriously? that's really
nice of you, will.

i guess i'll...
see you around.

well, we're neighbors.

i'd say that
we're bound to run into each other again.

i just needed
that guy's number.

will.
do you have it?

[scoffs] why?

i mean,
why do you need it?

i wanted to thank him
for driving me home last night.

son of a bitch.

not now,
traitor sister.

morning, lorraine.

how's it going, jay?

good morning,
miss smith.

hey, ladies.
first day of school,

shouldn't you be
getting dressed?

oh, we are. sage is just
pulling up some stuff with the oracle.

what's the oracle?
other than a scary old lady

from the matrix.
best movie ever, am i right?

ok, sorry.explain.

the oracle is
a computer program.

see, every piece
of clothing that we own is in the system.

we take pictures
over here.

and then the image
transfers to here.

see?

it tells us what we wore,
when we wore it,

and who we wore it with.

that way we never
have a repeat.

sage came up with it.

you designed this
yourself?

why, did laurel tell you
we were stupid or something?

no, of course not.

i was just
impressed.

this is gonna be
the best year.

you know, i was so over
being in the youngest grade at school,

which is really weird
when you think about it,

because
in the real world,

being younger's always
better. right, megan?

crushing my soul
here, rose.

oh, my god, sage!

what--i didn't know that
parker whitney's party was on wednesday!

i thought it was
on thursday.

no, thursday's
midnight tennis at breckyn's.

wednesday's the yacht.

sounds like a lot going
on for the first week of school

without a whole lot
of studyino,

oh, the first week back
is all about social activities.

so, does this
parker kid go to your school?

no, he graduated
last year.

he's supposed to be
at brown,

but he deferred
a semester.

his family, they throw
the most amazing parties in palm

only the very elite get in.

as in not you.

uh, no thanks.
boats, not my thing.

all the rocking
and lurching and sharks?

not necessary
for a good tim

ok, look, girls,
i'm not saying that you can't go--

i love how she think
that's even an option.

all i'm saying is,

is that you're gonna
have to fit studying into your schedule

if you want
to improve your gpa this year.

we never said
we wanted that.

laurel wants that.

see how that's not
the same thing?

why don't you go check that
somewhere else?

you don't want us to be late
for the first day of school now, do you?

so i think this is
the one you want to go with.

yes.

lily: hey, it's
your favorite sister

calling youúBack...again.

you wanted to have coffee,

you were lying.
what else is new?

exactly.
what else is new?

uh, nothing.

you're still a trampy
little tramperstein,

and i am still an idiot
for being nice to you.

go on.

just pretend
we're not here.

what? i'm not
talking to myself.

i'm practicing
a conversation that i'm going to have with a real

which is
totally different.

absolutely.

ok...

well, thanks for
the coffee, marco.

see ya later, megan?

well, well, subzero,
what was that all about?

what? i'm not gonna
give up banter

to a guy who has
a taste for my sister's tongue.

been there,
done that.

mmm, muffins.

will and piper peek-a-boo?
since when?

since i don't know when.
they met at the party,

and then 2 days later,
i saw them making out on the beach.

super romantic.
good for them.

well, what about you,
will, and all the cuteness?

over, because i am not
in the business of steal other people's boyfriends.

well, a kiss on the beach
doesn't mean they're registered at tiffany's.

it doesn't matter,

because i am not
dating anyway.

never ends well.

so bitter for so young.

you would be bitter too if your sister stole
your first boyfriend.

i love it already! dish!

ok.

so my first boyfriend
was this guy named evan.

he was a senior
in high school when i went off to college.

and we decided to stay
together because we were so in love and what not.

so i come home
for thanksgiving

and i go straight
to his house.

i even made him
a thanksgiving mix.

i mean,
who does that?

thanksgiving is so
not a mix holiday.

but, i did it
for him.

well, that's devotion.

yes, thank you.

so i go up to his
room all shampooed

and listerined
and psyched for our emotional reunion,

and i open the door
whout knocking,

because why
would i knock on my boyfriend's door?

sweetie, always knock!

mm-hmm. so i see
evan sitting at his desk chair,

the one that i
helped him pick out at the flea market,

with my sister
sitting on top of him.

your sister is so dead to me.

obviously,
after that,

i was not into dating.

so, i put all of
my energy into school,

and then after graduation,
i concentrated on work.

i went out on
a couple of dates,

mostly because people
were starting to think that i was a lesbian.

you know, i can see that.
i know, right?

i would be
a great lesbian.

but sadly,
i am straight.

oh, that is tragic.

but if you're looking
for a nunnery,

honey, palm beach
is the wrong place.

i will date
when i am 40.

right now, i'm going
to concentrate on my job.

which is quite
difficult,

because my tutees
are not interested in being tutored.

if i were jack black,
they would love me.

jack black is so lucky!

rose!
hey, gorgeous!

hey!

jordana.
hi.

breckyn.
hey!

oh, marc told me
that wasn't available until october.

you know he always
lets me in early.

nice.

excuse me, girls.

hey, mr. cassidy.

you all look very refreshed
from your summer breaks.

tahiti was miraculous.
you should go.

well, i will put it
on the top of my to-do list.

thank you, sage.

rose, can i see you
in my office for a moment?

ok.

oh, actually,
i just need rose.

so you can go
to homeroom, sage.

i'll save you a seat.

rose, do you know
if your grandmother got any of my messages?

i tried contacting her
several times over the summer.

i even sent a letter explaining the need
to discuss your status.

well, we were in tahiti
for a while.

and then laurel had
to go back to paris.

it's been pretty hectic.

what do you mean,
my status?

is there like a secret
popularity ranking thing out there?

9eis breckyn blogging again?

i meant
your scholastic status.

oh, well, i think laurel
should be back next week,

so, i don't know,
maybe you can come over then?

unfortunately,
this can't wait any longer.

i wanted to resolve
this matter before school started,

but laurel never
got back to me,

and i had to make
an executive decision.

ok, you're freaking me out
here. mr. c.

rose...
we have a problem.

i'm afraid we're going
to have to hold you back a year.

megan:
explain to me again:

why you enjoy
riding this thing into the deep water

where ocean-dwellers
can bite and sting you.

it's called relaxation,

and if you'd ever let me
give you a surfing lesson,

it would all become clear.

but you gotta spend your time
accomplishing stuff.

speaking of which,
why aren't you writing right now?

isn't that the plan?

when the girls
are at school,

you're writing
pulitzer prize winning stuff?

i might have a little
case of writer's block.

really? why do you think
that is, kemo sabe?

because writing
is hard.

[scoffs] why?

why do you think
that is?

i don't know, maybe because
you're wound up so tight

over this crap with lily?

how did you--
she told you. of course.

of course
she dragged you into this.

well, what's up?
she said you called her,

and then you just disappeared.

i didn't disappear.
i just came to my senses

and remembered
that she's a boyfriend stealing trampy tramp.

oh, whose boyfriend
did she steal now?

well, not technically
my boyfriend,

but a person
of interest.

that boy will
at the ball.

it doesn't
matter now anyway.

so you do like him?

well, maybe i did.
i don't know.

why? is that so insane
or something?

he's not really
your type, is he?

well, i don't know
what type he is yet.

i just thought that
he was interesting.

well, the point is,
i never would have thought you'd like him,

so maybe lily didn't know.

oh, she knew.

it doesn't matter.

i'm not dating
anyway.

oh, yes, the other cause
of your writer's block--

2 years of self-imposed
chastity.

writer's block
is a condition, ok?

it cannot
be explained or therapized.

therapized?!

yes. it's a new verb
that i'm working on.

of or related
to having too much therapy.

it's going to be
in the book.

the book i'm never
going to finish,

because i have
to concentrate on my job.

duty calls.

hey, rose,
how is school?

i should just
drop out now!

seriously, i would.
this is so humiliating!

what are you
doing here?

rose called me.
what's going on?

did you call her?
yeah! i figured she should know.

especially since now
it's going to take

twice as long
to get me to duke.

i mean, who is going
to take somebody

who had to repeat
their freshian year?

they're holding you back,
are you serious?!

way to go
on not freaking.

he said that my academic
performance was sub par,

and that i shoyd view this
as an opportunity

and not as a punishment.

i mean,
like that's even possible.

i'll be a social pariah.

ok, wait, he who?
who is he?

just our stupid headmaster,
jacob "assface" cassidy.

oh, i hate him!

rosie,
don't stress, ok?

no one is going
to give you crap for this,

because if they do,
i will personally destroy them.

and it's not going
to mess up anything with duke,

because if she
has to, laurel can just buy you in,

just like parker's dad
bought him into brown.

uh, hello, if that's the case,
then what am i doing here?

good point.
don't forget to write.

ok, listen.

let's think, ok?

maybe there's a way
to fix this.

how?

i mean, my grades
are really bad.

we can't just change
that now.

ok, but if we show
that you'll make an effort,

that you're committed,
maybe i can go in there

and talk to mr. assface
and see if there's a way around this.

i can talk to him.

as what, rose's sister?

it's not going
to mean anything.

i will go in there
as theew tutor,

and i will present
some sort of game plan.

ah? we--do you--
do you think that would work?

it's worth a shot.

ok!

thanks, megan!

ok.

morning.

care for a kumquat?

do you really
eat breaast here every morning?

pretty much.
is that a problem?

no, i don't care.

seems like you care.

seems like you're peeved
about it.

i'm not peeved.
i just think it's sad, that's all,

because you have
your very own mansion just right over there.

actually,
it's more over there.

if you ever want
to come over and just--

if you're that way.

i don't want
to come over.

why not?

looki don't
have time for this.

i have a very important
meeting that i have to go to.

oh, i was wondering why
you were so dressed up.

it's just a skirt.

why, do i look like
i'm trying too hard?

not at all.

i think you look
really nice.

thanks.

even thought that was
completely inappropriate, but whatever.

good-bye, will.

it's weird sittin'
in therinciple's office.

makes you feel like
a kid again.

although,
you probably are a kid.

a bad kid, for sittin' here.

i was a good kid.
that i'm judging you.

uh--i'm just sayin',
hugs, not drugs.

woman: mr. cassidy
will see you now.

i'll put in
a good word for you.

thanks.

mr. cassidy?

hi. um...

i'm megan smith,
rose's tutor.

i talked to you
on the phone.

of course.
call me jacob.

i prefer mr. cassidy.

big fan of boundaries
and what not.

very well, miss smith.

so, i'm here to talk
about rose. uh--

i'm sorry, um,

aren't you a little young
for headmaster?

oh, this is
my father's position.

it's temporary.

he had a mild
heart attack last spring.

see, normally
i'm a teacher here.

oh, really?
what sject?

human evolutionary
biology.

it's the sociological
and physiological examination

of why human beings
are the way we are.

i took biology
in high school.

dissected a frog.
it was so gross.

anyway, um, so,
i'm here to talk about rose--

i know.

the way things
were handled were less than ideal,

and i'd really like
to apologize for that.

well, i think it's best
to concentrate on how to fix it.

you can't hold rose back.

well, i understand
your frustration.

and i want you to know,
this was a difficult decision.

it's not something
we came to easily.

but i want rose to succeed.
and i think the best w

for her to do that
is to repeat her freshman year,

and hopefully,
get things right this time.

right, and i think
that's going to make rose

want to stab herself
in the face.

i mean, taking her away
from her friends and her sister

is not exactly
going to psych her up to learn.

i mean, if anything,
i think it will make things worse.

thank you.

mmm, ooh,
delicious.

oh, i made that
for me, but...

oh. sorry.

so, how would you proceed?

if i were to agree with you,
which i'm not saying i do,

well, based on her
fall syllabus,

i have come up
with an after school study plan

for rose and myself.

well, i'm lovin'
the pie chart.

thank you.

the pie illustrates
the amount of time

appropriated to each
individual subject

which i have deduced
to be her weak spots.

well, it's ambitious.

but i don't know
how you're going to get rose to commit.

well, that's my proble

and if her grades
haven't improved by the end of her first quarter,

you can go back
to the original plan.

ok, let's give it a try.

really? thanks!

i mean,
thank you very much.

and since we're going
to be working together on this,

i should probably
have your number.

right. um, of course.

you...

can have
my work phone number.

there you go.

that's just your
cell phone, ght?

i'm an independent contractor.

so...

whip me up a truffled
somethin', marco,

'cause i have earned it.

well, those rosy cheeks,
those starry eyes.

has our nun found a man?

i did in fact
meet a man.

the headmaster of
the girls' school,

way hotter than
the job requires.

jacob cassidy.

of course.
he was april in last year's fundraising calendar.

damn good month.
mmm.

so, the headmaster
and the tutor.

j'adore.

oh, no, no, no,
stop j'adoring. we're not dating.

whq
what's wrong with this one?

have you ever heard
of a little thing

called conflict
of interest?

you have an excuse
for everything.

you're really
ruining my happy time here, marco.

can we please focus?

i just talked to him out
of making rose repeat her freshman year.

how great is that?

good for you.

that's it?

well, i'm sure rose
will be very grateful for about 5 minutes

before she's distracted
by something dolce.

that's not true.

you're missing the point.

if you're gonna come in here
all high on life,

it should be because
you met a great guy

or you sold an article
to the new yorker.

it can't be
that i just did well at my actual job?

no!

this is just a j-o-b.

pays the bills.

you think i get all gooey
when sage notices

how finely sliced
my scallions are?

they are
magnificent.

this is just a rest stop

on marco giordani's
highway to happy.

a means to an end.

someday i'm gonna open
my own cafe.

yeah, you told me
about that.

have you thought
of a name?

'cause highway to
happy's really good.

listen to me, honey.

i know you're one of those
must be the best

at everything
she does girls.

but don't let this
become more important than your real life.

understood.

but i still deserve
a little victory lap.

i gotta go find rose!

rose baker, you are
officially a sophomore.

what?!

thank you!
oh, my god!

thank you!
thank you so muc

don't thank me yet.
you're gonna have to earn this.

now, i printed up
a schedule which may seem daunting at first,

but don't worry,
you'll get used to i

and eventually,
you'll get to hang out with your friends again.

eventually?

so when does all of this
start, exactly?

now.
[scoffs]

your little schedule
isn't going to work this week. sorry.

why not?
we're booked every night.

and parker whitney's party
is tomorrow.

right. and i can't
miss that.

we've already rsvp'd.

for me to convince
mr. cassidy to do this?

i mean,
work with me here!

i know i should have
talked to him.

sage, stay out of it.

look, megan, ok,
i definitely want to get on board.

it's just that--

good, i knew
you would.

and with
the new regime,

it means
you're gonna miss some parties.

sorry.
i'm gonna go set up.

we'll hit the books.
ok? great.

ladies.

hey!
hey, parker!

what are you doing
back here?

oh, picking up my brother.

i figured the little guy
could use a beach break.

we just started
school 2 days ago.

i know. brutal, right?

by the way,
before i forget,

vip passes for tonight.

my family's beefing up
security on the yacht.

kanye might show up.

oh, thanks,
but i don't think i can make it.

what are you tkin' about?

yeah, what are you
talkin' about?

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

deal with that, ok?

ok, when did you develop
a crack habit?

we cannot miss the party.

i know, i know,
but i already promised megan.

wait, you're ditching
parker whitney for your tutor?

come on, baby.

yeah, start
the psycho regime tomorrow.

what's the difference?

ok, i guess one night
wouldn be the end of the world, right?

great.

you know what is
a crisis, though? our wardrobe.

parker has clearly
turned it up a notch this yea

and i think so should we.

yeah, but we're not
gonna have any time to go after school.

you're right.

yeah. let's go.

ugh! back to rehab again?

ouch.

megan smith,
house of procrastination,

how may i help you?

mr. cassidy: that's how
you answer your business line, miss smith?

mr. cassidy.
uh, how are you?

fine. i was hoping
we might have a quick chat.

is now a bad time?

no! no, not at all.

m, uh, not doing
anythingt all.

would you mind
coming by my office?

uh, yeah, sure,
no problem.

i can, um,

i could be there
in 15 minutes.

ok, great.
i'll see you then.

ok. bye.

oh, what am i doing?

i don't know what i'm doing,
i don't know.

it's about time!

i've been waiting here
for like an hour.

how were the waves today?

pretty good.

what's up, lily?

did you talk to her?

come on, man,
i'm not gonna--

don't be a weenis!
just tell me what she said.

she's pissed off.
that's all i know.

about the fight
at that party?

'cause it was so not
a big deal.

no, i think
it's more about

will, bill,
whatever.

she's pissed about will?

i guess so.
i don't know.

she into him?
because i didn't think that he was her type.

yeah, well, megan's
full of surprises.

nothing even happened with us!
we barely hooked up.

i don't even
really like him.

then why'd you
hook up with him?

he's pretty
frickin' hot, chazz.

right. so, anyway,
that's all the info i have.

i'd really appreciate
not getting dragged into

the whole twisted sister
routine.

you think i like
having to ask you

about what's going on
with my own sister?

she won't call me back.

why do you think
that is?

look, you guys are
pretty messed up.

i'm not saying it's
all your fault, but--

i get it.

thanks, charlie.

lily...

it's all good.

that's for you.
oh.

so there's
no confusion this time, ha.

thank you. you put cream
in it and everything.

i'm that
kind of guy.

[chuckles] look.

you are being
very sweet here,

but i think i should
just say for the record

that ts cannot ha!pen.

why not?

i mean, you know,
the whole tutor and the headmaster thing,

it just feels like
a whole andrew mccarthy movie gone to d.

it's just a bad idea,
you know?

well, i'm not sure
i agree with you.

frankly, anyone with me
right now is a bad idea.

if i told you
about my dating life in a nutshell,

it would be a sad little nut.
a pine nut, really. the--

miss smith...

there is something
i needed to talk to you about.

right. um, of course.

continue.

sage and rose cut school
this afternoon.

no, you're kidding!

now i know
you don't have her on a lojack system,

but if this is the way
she'going to behave

on day one
of a fresh start,

you can see how i might
be concerned, right?

no, no, absolutely.
i-i gn't believe this.

you have to
understand,

this isn't just a deal
that you and itruck.

i have to answer
to people, too. i know.

and i am so sorry.

i-trust me,
i will handle this.

rose?

i figure i'd spend
a couple of months in paris,

work the buddha bar people,

see if they'd be interested
in taking some of their action down to palm beach.

that sounds awesome.

i've only been
to paris twice,

and laurel monitored
the entire trip.

that sucks. you should
come out while i'm there.

i'd give you a proper tour.

that'd be amazing.

megan: excuse me.

oh, my god.

what, you know that chick?

unfortunately.

would you excuse me
for a second

what the hell
are you doing here?!

sage, gex@your sister.
we are leaving right now.

i can't even believe
someone like you got past security!

well, apparently security
liked my outfit a little more than you do.

or maybe they thought
you were part of the make-a-wish foundation!

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

save it, sage, ok?
your grandmother gave me the green light

to deal with you
however i decide is necessary,

so spare me the hissy fit.
get your sister,

say good-bye to your friends,

'cause we are getting off
this boat right now!

whatever you say.

but it's gonna be
kind of tough since we're leaving the dock.

oh, crap.

excuse me.
oh, excuse me.

have you seen rose baker?

she's about ye high.
looks all sweet and innocent,

but she's actually
a manipulative little vixen.

sorry.

thank you
for your help.

all right,
here you go, baby.

oh, thank you, baby.
you got it.

cheers, guys.
here's to kicking off a new year.

whoo! a new year!

oh, and rose,
by the way,

i still have my books
from freshman year

if you to need
to borrow them, ok?

oh! hi!
hey!

i-i only told
spencer!

but i told you
not to tell anyone!

yeah, but it's not
even happening!

rght? so what's
the big deal?

because!

it's embarrassing!
why?!

it would have been kind of
sweet to date a freshman!

look, look, look, look,
the point is,

it wouldn't have mattered
even if you were held back.

you're fun, you're hot,
you're sexy.

come on, who cares
if you have crappy grades?

come on, baby. come on.

thought that
was you.

oh. hey.

so are you still
mad at me?

why would i be mad at you?

i have no idea.

i didn't expect
to see you here.

not my original plan,
believe me.

i came to try to get
the girls to leave,

so they could go home
and study,

and, yes, i am aware
of how insane that sounds.

not certifiably.

well, it doesn't
matter, anyway.

i mean, they'll just
pay to get into college,

like this parker kid
and every other kid here in palm beach.

no offense.
none taken.

i didn't mean you.

come on.

a kid gets into brown
and then defers,

probably so he could attend
this ridiculous party.

how cocky is that?

is that the story
that he's telling?

parker didn't
get into brown.

it was true his dad
donated $3 million,

but it didn't
make a difference.

are you serious?

yeah.

guess that blows
your theory.

looks like you're
going to have to get them into college

the old-fashioned
way, yalie.

fantastic.

so...

are you here
with lily?

so that's why
you're mad at me.

i never said
i was mad at you.

i...just was asking
a simple question.

she told you
we went out, huh?

it really wasn't big deal.
and for the record,

she asked me.

well, next time,
you should ask her.

because you guys
make a very cu couple.

i say go for it.

you're being pretty
supportive, considering...

look, i-i, um...

i don't know
what you thought--

what did you think?

i wasn't thinking
anything.

i--my head's
not really

in that place
right now.

you know,
the date-y place.

and...
oh.

ok.

i'm just trying
to@et myself together.

befo you get together
with somebody else.

unhrstood.

yeah.

yeah, so, you know,

there shouldn't be
any weirdness

between you and me

about lily
or whoever.

got it. friends, then.

great

i'm gonna get a beer.

you want?

i'm ok.

breckyn isn't answering
any of my texts, and i have no idea why.ea why.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

ugh, god, she's everywhere.

hi.

hi.

that you were on
the boat last night.

°I tried
to find you--

don't make this worse
by lying, rose.

we're going to be
late for school.

ok, so...

i'm sorry about
last night.

but i'm ready
to rock on our whole study thing

as of today.
it doesn't matter.

don't worry about it.
it's fine. you do whatever you want.

finally!

but qu should know
that your friend parker is a liar.

he didn't get into brown.

all that money
his dad spent

didn't make a difference.

come on, rose,
she has no idea what she's talking about.

ask will. ask anyone.

it's the truth.

but you don't really
care about that, do you?

that's the problem.

and that's why you're going
to wind up repeating your freshman year.

megan!

megan, wait.

what?

why are you being so mean?

because
i'm frustrated, rose.

i got called into
the principle's office yesterday, because of you.

i'm sorry.

i don't know
what it's going to take with you.

you say you want to tr
but then you cut school?

that was not
my idea.

which i know,
it's a lame excuse.

it's really hard
to try to change my life,

when sage and i,
we do everything together,

and none of the school stuff
seems to slow her down.

i mean, she still gets
all as and bs.

ok, i know,
it's not fair.

but life isn't fair.

you have to decide
what you want.

yeah, but it doesn't matter
what i want.

ok, just because i want
to get into duke,

it doesn't mean
that it's going to happen.

i mean, even if i spent
a hundred hours studying,

i could still get bad grades.

that may be true,

but rose,
you can't not try

because you're afraid
you're going to fail. that would be like...

that would be like
not wanting to go out on a date

because you're afraid
all guys are going to cheat on you.

orúOt wanting
to write

because you're afraid
you're never going to get published anyway.

what, are we talking about
sex and the city now?

because i loved that movie.

i'm taking about us.

we can't be afraid to
go after what we want,

even if we don't know
what the outcome is going to be.

now i know
what i want.

do you?

i want to go to duke.

yosay that,
but what does it really mean to you?

i told you.

♪♪♪♪♪♪

which is
a great reason.

but it can't be
the reason.

you have to be doing
this for you.

i will be there
for you, rose.

i will back you with
whatever you need.

but i can't do
the work for you.

and i'm not going
to be chasing you

on any boats anymore

trying to get you
to study.

from now on, if...

this is gonna happen,

it's gonna be
because of you.

i get it now.

get what?

why you rejected
bachelor number one and bachelor number two.

ok, marco.

can we speed this up
to get to the point

where i understand
what you're talkin' about?

well, there's a man
at the front door,

carries a surfboard
as an accessory,

has a smile that could
light up my christmas tree through february--

charlie's here!

oh, charles.

bachelor
number three.

a fine specimen.

ok, i'm not dating h.
i hate you.

i can't! he's been
my best friend since, like, forever.

sally, go mount
your harry.

ah, not going there.

but you're right.
the dating strike does need to end.

if for no other reason,
it will force me to shave my legs.

honey, we are not
at that level yet.

megan, you have
a visitor.

ok, you weren't
kidding.

this place is insane!

i know.
is it noon already?

i can't believe
i lost track of time.

yep. get ready for
your first official surfing lesson.

you're working,
aren't you?

it's just, this is
the first time i have been able to write

since i got here.
can i take a rain check?

absolutely.

but i'm never going
to get you on a surfboard, am i?

i just feel like,
you know,

if humans felt the need
to grow legs and crawl out of the ocean

there's a reason, right?

fair enough.

so, have you talked
to lily yet?

ugh.
you know what? don't tell me.

it's none
of my business.

no, it's ok. i just--

i'm not ready yet,
that's all.

say no more.

so let's talk
about your job.

how's it going with
the terrible twos?

you don't really care!
sure i do!

sort of. kind of.

not really.

i know i have been
way too focused on the girls,

but i just think
it's easier to focus

on their lives
than my own.

sounds like someone's
been...therapized.

so what do you have
to eat in this ridilous fridge?

ooh, easy there, surf boy.

marco has got a very
particular system.

oreo cakesters?
ok, that guacamole is mine.

you almost ready to go?

rose, come on.

everyone's waiting
outside for us.

look, you can go
without me. it's ok.

it's ok? max reserved
a table at renato's.

what is wrong with you?

look, i said i was
going to do this,

so i'm gonna do it.

hey, so are going or what?

seriously, sage,
i don't mind.

you guys go ahead.
we'll catch up.

ok.
see ya later.

really?

we'll get it done
faster this way.

ok, but, no, you can't
do it for me.

i've gotta figure
this stuff out for self.

yeah, yeah.
what question are you on?

number one.

what's the answer
for number one?

no, don't tell me.

the time it takes
an airplane...

ok, rule number one.

oh, so you were
serious about that rules thing, huh?

rule number one,

no talking about the girls
unless it's an emergency.

and what constitutes
an emergency?

any sort of bleeding

or if you see them
in a high-speed chase.

have you ever seen them
in a high-speed chase?

i just need to know
what i'm getting myself into here.

we've been out
for half of an hour,

and you're already
breaking rule number one.

what kind of example
are you setting here?

hey, can i ask you
something?

it's not my natural color.

i'm usually a blonde,
but people seem to like the red.

i don't know,
what do you think?

i think
the %d's good.

really good,
actually.

but that's not what
i wanted to ask.

oh, sorry.

i was just
wondering...

what made you
change your mind?

i mean, i know
you were so adamant about not going out with me.

i can be adamant a lot.

and then it turns out
i'm wrong,

which makes the whole
adamant part even more embarrassing.

oh. a woman
who admits when she's wrong.

we're definitely
going out again.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

i think i was sort of
afraid to get ba into the dating scene.

but i'm--

i'm happy you asked me.

well, i'm glad
you're here.

but, since i know you're
such a stickler for the rules, miss smith,

i just wanted
to remind you,

you called me.

technicalities,
mr. cassidy.

technicalities.

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