Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,056 --> 00:00:04,040
I just feel like the
office could be friendlier,
2
00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:05,779
which is why I think wearing nametags
3
00:00:05,782 --> 00:00:08,561
with your favorite movie on
them is actually a great idea.
4
00:00:08,564 --> 00:00:10,964
Ooh, did I tell you I
think I found an apartment?
5
00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:12,432
You promised me that we were going to
6
00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:14,735
- stand in awkward silence.
- You're funny.
7
00:00:14,737 --> 00:00:17,037
It's in this up-and-coming
neighborhood called Mu-To.
8
00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:18,172
Cute, right?
9
00:00:18,174 --> 00:00:20,107
Mu-To is short for Murder Town.
10
00:00:20,109 --> 00:00:23,177
Aww, so that's why the
kitchen had drains in it.
11
00:00:23,179 --> 00:00:25,112
Oh, finally. I hope
these are worth the wait.
12
00:00:25,114 --> 00:00:28,916
Hi, I'll have two bear
claws, a chocolate scone...
13
00:00:28,918 --> 00:00:30,517
[maniacal laughing]
14
00:00:30,519 --> 00:00:33,487
[epic music]
15
00:00:33,489 --> 00:00:37,291
16
00:00:37,293 --> 00:00:39,193
[commotion, people shouting]
17
00:00:39,195 --> 00:00:42,129
Special delivery!
18
00:00:42,131 --> 00:00:44,198
[laughing]
19
00:00:45,691 --> 00:00:47,234
[all exclaim]
20
00:00:47,236 --> 00:00:49,036
Nailed it!
21
00:00:49,038 --> 00:00:51,233
[siren wailing distantly]
22
00:00:51,236 --> 00:00:53,036
We're out of everything.
23
00:00:53,038 --> 00:00:55,605
Oh.
24
00:00:55,607 --> 00:00:58,575
[heroic music]
25
00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:05,481
26
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:25,939
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
27
00:01:28,344 --> 00:01:30,177
Oh, here's something
cute in East Charm City.
28
00:01:30,179 --> 00:01:31,879
Oh, near the cute insane asylum?
29
00:01:31,881 --> 00:01:33,447
Or near the cute,
abandoned mannequin factory
30
00:01:33,449 --> 00:01:35,082
- where all the pedophiles live?
- [sighs] I have to
31
00:01:35,084 --> 00:01:37,218
- increase my price range.
- Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:41,288
Anyone else stay in a hotel
carved out of ice this weekend?
33
00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:43,224
Mm, I slept on a pile of clothes
34
00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:45,693
at my weed dealer's mom's place.
35
00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:47,424
Harrowing.
36
00:01:47,426 --> 00:01:48,858
Anyway, I was in Iceland,
37
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,660
at the Wayne Industries
managers retreat.
38
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:52,262
You were in Greenland.
39
00:01:52,264 --> 00:01:53,830
There was a lot of ice.
40
00:01:53,832 --> 00:01:55,932
Anyway, our division
has made a lot of noise
41
00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:58,768
because this one has
whipped you all into shape.
42
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,604
- [imitates whip cracking]
- Ooh.
43
00:02:00,606 --> 00:02:01,809
I don't need to tell
you why you shouldn't...
44
00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:03,280
I regretted it immediately.
45
00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,317
- Hmm.
- They are green-lighting
46
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:07,385
your anti-rubble umbrella.
47
00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:09,187
- That's amazing!
- [all exclaiming]
48
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:10,822
Bah! Nooo!
49
00:02:10,824 --> 00:02:12,057
[laughter, chatter]
50
00:02:12,059 --> 00:02:13,225
The Rumbrella.
51
00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,702
Strong, stylish, lightweight.
52
00:02:15,705 --> 00:02:17,369
- Just like you, Teddy.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:17,372 --> 00:02:20,373
That's fantastic. We will have
it done by the end of the week.
54
00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:21,875
- Corporate's gonna be like...
- Oh...
55
00:02:21,877 --> 00:02:24,778
"What? Who's this squad of bad asses?
56
00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:27,013
Let's give them more projects."
57
00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:29,049
Or we could pick a reasonable timeframe
58
00:02:29,051 --> 00:02:30,984
and Corporate's gonna be
like, "What? Who's the squad
59
00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:32,719
of sensible individuals
who know how to achieve
60
00:02:32,721 --> 00:02:34,754
- a work/life balance?"
- Yeah, yeah.
61
00:02:34,756 --> 00:02:36,923
What? I like Emily's idea better.
62
00:02:36,925 --> 00:02:39,526
Get crackin'. Or as they say in Iceland,
63
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,828
[speaking "Icelandic"]
64
00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:47,100
- What does that mean?
- "Sir, please don't urinate
65
00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:49,169
in the thermal hot springs."
66
00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:52,772
I only remember it
'cause I heard it a lot.
67
00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:55,208
No one tells a Wayne where to pee.
68
00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:56,676
[laughter, chatter]
69
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:58,211
Yeah, but isn't it funny?
70
00:02:58,213 --> 00:02:59,946
[laughs]
71
00:02:59,948 --> 00:03:02,465
They look like they're having fun.
72
00:03:02,468 --> 00:03:04,635
Hey, do you think they'd
wanna go... I don't know...
73
00:03:04,637 --> 00:03:06,236
Bowling or something Friday night?
74
00:03:06,238 --> 00:03:07,404
Definitely.
75
00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:09,139
Oh, with you? No.
76
00:03:09,141 --> 00:03:10,607
- Okay, I know you're joking.
- I'm not joking.
77
00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:12,275
But I'm still new in town.
78
00:03:12,277 --> 00:03:14,611
I mean, I work all the time.
79
00:03:14,613 --> 00:03:16,246
It can get kinda lonely, you know?
80
00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:17,948
Listen, you seem like a nice person
81
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:19,401
but you're also their boss,
82
00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:21,550
and a boss can't be friends
with their employees.
83
00:03:21,553 --> 00:03:24,554
Well this boss can. [chuckles]
84
00:03:26,025 --> 00:03:28,592
- And here we go, here we go.
- [murmuring]
85
00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:31,410
All right, I laid out the
schedule for the Rumbrella.
86
00:03:31,413 --> 00:03:34,014
It's ambitious, but we're not
afraid of a little hard work.
87
00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:36,750
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy
Superhero League update.
88
00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:39,186
- All right, hold that thought.
- If you've got the top pick,
89
00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:41,054
- I'd shy away from Superman.
- Mm.
90
00:03:41,056 --> 00:03:43,423
Sure, Supes can save an
entire building full of people,
91
00:03:43,425 --> 00:03:45,826
but some weeks he only saves Lois Lane.
92
00:03:45,828 --> 00:03:47,561
- And that's just one point.
- That's a fact.
93
00:03:47,563 --> 00:03:50,264
Didn't Teddy pick him with
his first pick last year?
94
00:03:50,266 --> 00:03:52,266
Oh, I know he did. That
was a rhetorical question.
95
00:03:52,268 --> 00:03:53,734
- Suck it, Teddy!
- Oh!
96
00:03:53,737 --> 00:03:55,511
Hey, I will suck nothing. All right?
97
00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:56,545
It was the right pick at the time.
98
00:03:56,547 --> 00:03:57,513
Oh, yeah. The right pick
99
00:03:57,515 --> 00:03:59,114
if you want to come in last.
100
00:03:59,116 --> 00:04:00,783
- Like a bitch!
- Ooh!
101
00:04:00,785 --> 00:04:03,359
- Yeah!
- Oh, fantasy league, huh?
102
00:04:03,362 --> 00:04:05,929
Sounds like my kind of fun.
Mixing it up with some friends.
103
00:04:05,931 --> 00:04:08,599
Fair warning: [singsong]
I can bring the trash talk.
104
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:11,635
You do not want me coming
for you on a group e-mail.
105
00:04:11,637 --> 00:04:15,205
Sorry. League's full.
106
00:04:15,207 --> 00:04:18,642
Oh. Well, I am super busy anyways.
107
00:04:18,644 --> 00:04:23,414
Otherwise, I would
bring it... like a bitch!
108
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:25,382
Did you just call yourself a bitch?
109
00:04:25,384 --> 00:04:27,985
I am better over e-mail.
110
00:04:27,987 --> 00:04:31,417
Let's see where we're
at on the Rumbrella.
111
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,420
Okay, so there's a
massive super battle above,
112
00:04:33,422 --> 00:04:37,123
but fortunately, our customer
is holding her Rumbrella.
113
00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:39,392
In my mind, it's my sweet grandma.
114
00:04:39,394 --> 00:04:41,394
- And she's bringing me soup.
- Nice touch.
115
00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:43,696
- Mm.
- Rubble starts to fall and...
116
00:04:43,698 --> 00:04:45,298
[buzzer blares]
117
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,366
[crack]
118
00:04:47,636 --> 00:04:48,842
[shrilly] No!
119
00:04:48,845 --> 00:04:50,578
Grandma!
120
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:53,214
Ooh, looks like we're
gonna be working late tonight.
121
00:04:53,216 --> 00:04:55,450
[lightly tense music]
122
00:04:55,452 --> 00:04:58,553
Doesn't mean we can't have
fun. Should we order pizza?
123
00:04:58,555 --> 00:04:59,854
[sighs]
124
00:04:59,856 --> 00:05:03,158
Jackie, what is wrong with this picture?
125
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,926
There are no women or minorities?
126
00:05:04,928 --> 00:05:06,567
Be serious!
127
00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:10,147
What is wrong is I am missing.
You can only see my shoulder.
128
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:12,250
- How did you let this happen?
- I wasn't there
129
00:05:12,252 --> 00:05:14,452
when the photo was taken,
Van, because you forgot
130
00:05:14,454 --> 00:05:17,722
your ivory cufflinks and
made me fly 3,000 miles
131
00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:19,658
- to go and get them.
- Oh, so I'm supposed to
132
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,693
wear the gold ones two days
in a row like some kind of
133
00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:24,032
certified pre-owned car salesman?
134
00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:25,532
You know what? Maybe
I ask too much of you.
135
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,226
- I agree.
- Maybe if I want
136
00:05:27,229 --> 00:05:29,763
something done right, I
should just do it myself.
137
00:05:29,766 --> 00:05:32,195
- I'd love that.
- I'm trying to say
138
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:35,030
you are incompet... you don't
even feel shame properly.
139
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:38,506
Didn't make the Dream Team, huh, Van?
140
00:05:38,508 --> 00:05:39,540
Hello, Samuel.
141
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,209
And you know that I did.
142
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:43,477
That...
143
00:05:43,479 --> 00:05:45,913
That is my shoulder.
144
00:05:45,915 --> 00:05:48,583
Really? Well, that's my face.
145
00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:51,586
See, usually people prefer
to have those in pictures.
146
00:05:51,588 --> 00:05:54,655
Which is why I'm on Facebook
and not Shoulderbook.
147
00:05:54,657 --> 00:05:55,856
Ha ha ha.
148
00:05:55,858 --> 00:05:56,811
Hey, Van.
149
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,581
How come you're not in that photo?
150
00:05:58,584 --> 00:06:01,095
Oh. I like her.
151
00:06:01,097 --> 00:06:03,731
Samuel Greene. Head of Human Resources.
152
00:06:03,733 --> 00:06:07,969
And fully visible member
of the Wayne Dream Team.
153
00:06:07,971 --> 00:06:10,324
If you need anything
at all, you let me know.
154
00:06:10,327 --> 00:06:11,839
Mm-mm.
155
00:06:11,841 --> 00:06:14,575
Well, he seems nice.
156
00:06:14,577 --> 00:06:16,577
So do chimps. Until you dress them up
157
00:06:16,579 --> 00:06:18,179
and have them perform "12 Angry Men"
158
00:06:18,181 --> 00:06:19,947
for your Yale buddies.
159
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,481
Yes, that happened.
160
00:06:24,483 --> 00:06:26,116
[buzzer blares]
161
00:06:26,118 --> 00:06:27,217
[crack]
162
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,021
Guys, I can't stress
enough the importance
163
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,156
of peoples' heads remaining
attached to their bodies.
164
00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:36,309
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy Superhero League...
165
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,812
Have you just been
playing that fantasy site?
166
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:40,581
Emily, we're creative people.
167
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,749
We can't just grind away
for 15 hours straight.
168
00:06:42,751 --> 00:06:44,418
I totally get that you have a process,
169
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:46,553
but Corporate said they
need this done by Friday.
170
00:06:46,555 --> 00:06:48,222
No, you said you
need it done by Friday,
171
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:49,623
which makes me think you
don't fully understand
172
00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:50,856
the meaning of the word need.
173
00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:53,494
It's like when I say I
need to own a pet shark.
174
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,796
I don't need one. I
just really want one.
175
00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:57,564
Emily don't worry about it, okay?
176
00:06:57,566 --> 00:06:59,745
We're gonna finish this. We
know how to manage our time.
177
00:06:59,747 --> 00:07:01,068
[slurping]
178
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:03,270
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy
Superhero League update.
179
00:07:03,272 --> 00:07:04,905
[all exclaiming]
180
00:07:04,907 --> 00:07:06,940
I think I'm gonna go
with the Flash this year.
181
00:07:06,942 --> 00:07:08,609
You always wanna go with the Flash.
182
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:09,750
- You always go with the Flash.
- You know, he's sleek.
183
00:07:09,752 --> 00:07:11,327
We can't even see what he's doing.
184
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,147
- That's the point of it.
- Why won't they listen?
185
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:14,615
There has to be a way to motivate them.
186
00:07:14,617 --> 00:07:16,183
[laughter]
187
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:19,209
There is. It's called being a dick.
188
00:07:19,212 --> 00:07:21,579
[laughter, chatter]
189
00:07:21,582 --> 00:07:23,282
Yeah, but then they'll hate me.
190
00:07:23,284 --> 00:07:25,417
What would that look like?
Any different than this?
191
00:07:25,419 --> 00:07:27,253
Look, I'm sure you
look at me and think,
192
00:07:27,255 --> 00:07:28,921
"She probably has a million friends."
193
00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,323
No. Not once. Not ever.
I never thought that.
194
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:33,325
The other day, I took
the elevator up and down,
195
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,465
just trying to meet people.
196
00:07:34,468 --> 00:07:37,129
Oh, my gosh. That's so sad.
197
00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:39,365
There any footage of that?
198
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:42,434
Look, you're the boss.
You've gotta be the bad guy.
199
00:07:42,436 --> 00:07:44,069
- [sighs]
- Susan?
200
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:49,010
Little pin-up of some
beach bunnies, eh?
201
00:07:49,013 --> 00:07:50,412
Inappropriate.
202
00:07:50,415 --> 00:07:52,478
That's just my daughter's swim team.
203
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,847
Makes for an uncomfortable
work environment.
204
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,415
Get rid of it.
205
00:07:58,548 --> 00:08:00,649
If you want people to do what you say,
206
00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:02,150
you've gotta be the bad guy.
207
00:08:02,152 --> 00:08:05,053
[sighs]
208
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,889
Or someone does.
209
00:08:07,891 --> 00:08:10,859
What's your policy on people
using company computers
210
00:08:10,861 --> 00:08:12,727
to play Superhero Fantasy League?
211
00:08:12,729 --> 00:08:16,431
Usually we turn a blind eye,
unless it's causing a problem.
212
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:19,434
What if it is causing a problem?
213
00:08:19,436 --> 00:08:22,837
- Then things get fun.
- Mm.
214
00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:32,159
Van, I think I know how
to fix the photo situation.
215
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:33,327
Already done.
216
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:35,863
I am solving this in a way
217
00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:38,966
that your little mind
couldn't possibly comprehend.
218
00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:40,935
You're taking a picture
of yourself to Photoshop it
219
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,670
into the picture of the Dream Team,
220
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:45,973
and then you're gonna mount
that in the lobby instead.
221
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:47,942
- Oh.
- Van, please let me help you
222
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,910
before you do something very stupid.
223
00:08:49,912 --> 00:08:51,178
Too late!
224
00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:52,875
It's already done.
225
00:08:52,878 --> 00:08:54,477
Jackie, I know what I'm doing.
226
00:08:54,479 --> 00:08:58,381
My daddy didn't have
someone else raise a dummy.
227
00:08:58,383 --> 00:09:00,450
Come on, come on.
228
00:09:02,554 --> 00:09:04,320
Hey, guys. How goes it?
229
00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:05,989
The fantasy site's not loading.
230
00:09:05,991 --> 00:09:07,290
Ron, can you get on?
231
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:09,225
No. It's blocked!
232
00:09:09,227 --> 00:09:11,895
Blocked? You sure? Let me check.
233
00:09:11,897 --> 00:09:14,264
- [video game-like music plays]
- No Wayne, Jose!
234
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:16,094
- Dang! Dang it to hell.
- No Wayne, Jose!
235
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,396
Me, too!
236
00:09:17,399 --> 00:09:19,900
Guys, I was watching
that sad YouTube video
237
00:09:19,902 --> 00:09:22,035
of Emily going up and
down in the elevator
238
00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:25,005
when that vaguely racist
cartoon bandit came on my screen.
239
00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:27,407
What? No, it's just
the fantasy site, right?
240
00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:29,843
The entire Internet's gone!
241
00:09:29,845 --> 00:09:32,946
[dramatic music]
242
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,414
I'll check Susan's computer.
243
00:09:34,416 --> 00:09:36,316
Move it, Susan!
244
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:39,086
My God.
245
00:09:39,088 --> 00:09:41,684
The only site we can get on is Linkedln.
246
00:09:41,687 --> 00:09:43,921
What monster did this to us?
247
00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:47,157
I know who did this.
248
00:09:47,159 --> 00:09:50,260
- Guys, I'm sorry...
- It was HR.
249
00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:53,831
- [glass shatters]
- ...That HR did this to you!
250
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,799
Man, this is a real bummer.
251
00:09:55,801 --> 00:09:59,031
Dang! Well, guess we might
as well get back to work.
252
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:01,668
Or we could figure out
how to get the Internet back.
253
00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:04,138
I mean, we're engineers.
This is what we're paid to do.
254
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:05,873
- Yeah.
- Actually, you're paid...
255
00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,174
Yeah! No, no, no. Don't worry.
256
00:10:07,176 --> 00:10:08,476
We're gonna put everything else aside
257
00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:09,677
until we figure this out.
258
00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:11,278
[sighs]
259
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,147
Emily, get in here!
260
00:10:13,149 --> 00:10:15,249
Come on!
261
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:17,685
So I think there was some
sort of miscommunication.
262
00:10:17,687 --> 00:10:19,654
I just wanted the fantasy site blocked.
263
00:10:19,656 --> 00:10:20,721
Now they're spending all their time
264
00:10:20,723 --> 00:10:21,922
trying to get the Internet back.
265
00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:24,058
So if you could just put it back.
266
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:27,795
Emily...[ahem] What
do you think HR does?
267
00:10:27,797 --> 00:10:30,064
Oh, well, you know, it's...
268
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:33,200
HR does the... It's
human resources and...
269
00:10:33,202 --> 00:10:35,302
You have no idea.
270
00:10:35,304 --> 00:10:38,335
And neither does anyone else.
271
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,238
So the only way for me to keep my job
272
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,440
is if Corporate sees me doing something.
273
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,108
Okay, but come on.
274
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,543
Taking away the whole Internet
275
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,078
seems a little unreasonable.
276
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:51,282
That... that's very
aggressive language, Emily.
277
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:55,282
You're flirting with a
six-hour anti-bullying video.
278
00:10:55,285 --> 00:10:56,851
- Well...
- Oh, did...
279
00:10:56,853 --> 00:10:58,253
did you wanna say something?
280
00:10:58,255 --> 00:10:59,621
No?
281
00:10:59,623 --> 00:11:01,323
Didn't think so.
282
00:11:01,325 --> 00:11:03,858
[edgy music]
283
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:05,927
[sighs]
284
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:07,993
All right, this will cut off
285
00:11:07,995 --> 00:11:10,028
the heating, air
conditioning and sewage,
286
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,781
but it might get us our Internet back.
287
00:11:11,784 --> 00:11:13,317
Do it.
288
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,068
[electricity fizzles, power down hum]
289
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:19,371
- [workers murmuring]
- [video game-like music]
290
00:11:19,373 --> 00:11:20,873
- No!
- Aw, man!
291
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:23,575
- I should have peed first.
- Mm.
292
00:11:23,577 --> 00:11:26,078
Hey, what are you doing coming from HR?
293
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,347
- [lightly suspenseful music]
- Uh...
294
00:11:28,349 --> 00:11:30,449
Oh. [laughs] Were you
making that whipping noise
295
00:11:30,451 --> 00:11:31,650
to other black people?
296
00:11:31,652 --> 00:11:35,487
No. I was just...
297
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:38,787
trying to get the Internet back...
298
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:42,124
for you guys because I
knew you wanted it so bad.
299
00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:43,659
- What?
- You did that for us?
300
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,091
I mean, nobody screws with Samuel.
301
00:11:45,094 --> 00:11:47,263
I mean, to be honest, Ron
even thought for a second
302
00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:49,098
that you were the reason
the Internet was shut down.
303
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,400
[forced laugh] Ron.
304
00:11:51,402 --> 00:11:53,302
Yeah, I had you all wrong.
305
00:11:53,304 --> 00:11:55,137
And I try not to use the word hero
306
00:11:55,139 --> 00:11:56,939
outside of a sandwich context...
307
00:11:56,941 --> 00:11:58,774
but you just might be one.
308
00:11:58,776 --> 00:12:01,076
You know, we were being a
little tough on you earlier.
309
00:12:01,078 --> 00:12:03,078
What do you say about
joining our fantasy league?
310
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,947
Well, I thought you said it was full.
311
00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,448
Susan, you're out! And don't gimme
312
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:08,250
that look, Susan... You
knew this was coming.
313
00:12:08,252 --> 00:12:10,816
Guys, let's get back
to work on that Rumbrella.
314
00:12:10,819 --> 00:12:12,952
For Emily. You wanted it by Friday?
315
00:12:12,954 --> 00:12:15,121
Did I say that? I don't even remember.
316
00:12:15,123 --> 00:12:16,522
I think you said Monday.
317
00:12:16,524 --> 00:12:17,590
Friday. Definitely Friday.
318
00:12:17,592 --> 00:12:19,225
I think. Whatever. [laughs]
319
00:12:20,857 --> 00:12:22,122
Beautiful.
320
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,658
- You don't think the finger guns
321
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,860
are a little much?
322
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:27,662
- Hey Van!
- Both: Pew, pew, pew.
323
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,298
Hey! [imitates machine gun]
324
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,467
[laughs] You tell me.
325
00:12:32,469 --> 00:12:34,236
- Know what the best part is?
- Yes, I do.
326
00:12:34,238 --> 00:12:35,637
But what do you think it is?
327
00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:37,372
I did this on my own.
328
00:12:37,374 --> 00:12:39,708
I personally told the
art department to do this
329
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:42,010
- [elevator bell dings]
- for me, all by myself.
330
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,678
So instead of withstanding rubble,
331
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,380
the Rumbrella needs to repel...
332
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:47,549
[light music]
333
00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:49,284
Did Van Photoshop himself into that?
334
00:12:49,286 --> 00:12:50,619
Yes, he did.
335
00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,454
And can we get the photo he used?
336
00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:54,222
Yes, you can.
337
00:12:54,224 --> 00:12:55,524
Both: Hm.
338
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:03,854
Guess what?
339
00:13:03,856 --> 00:13:05,356
The team is back on track to finish
340
00:13:05,358 --> 00:13:07,224
the Rumbrella, and they invited me
341
00:13:07,226 --> 00:13:08,626
into their fantasy league.
342
00:13:08,628 --> 00:13:10,294
Looks like I hit that
friend/boss sweet spot.
343
00:13:10,296 --> 00:13:11,796
I don't believe it. It doesn't exist.
344
00:13:11,798 --> 00:13:14,031
Discard.
345
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:17,368
- Van, are we friends?
- [laughs]
346
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:19,236
Bosses cannot be friends
with their employees.
347
00:13:19,238 --> 00:13:21,138
It is a myth, like the Yeti...
348
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,840
or the unconditional love of a mother.
349
00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:24,241
And he has spent a lot of money
350
00:13:24,243 --> 00:13:26,143
in search of both of those things.
351
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:28,913
Although I am making
progress on the Yeti.
352
00:13:28,915 --> 00:13:30,915
Oh, there he is! Pew, pew, pew, pew.
353
00:13:30,917 --> 00:13:34,352
Ah! [all imitating gunfire]
354
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:36,554
- Yeah! Yeah, man.
- Boom, boom!
355
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:38,422
Ooh hoo hoo!
356
00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:39,857
What's with the finger guns?
357
00:13:39,859 --> 00:13:41,015
- Oh, you don't know.
- Mm-mm.
358
00:13:41,017 --> 00:13:42,326
- You're gonna love this.
- Okay.
359
00:13:42,328 --> 00:13:43,361
Follow me.
360
00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:44,862
Now that I'm a fully visible
361
00:13:44,864 --> 00:13:46,063
member of the Dream Team,
362
00:13:46,065 --> 00:13:48,032
everyone is giving me props...
363
00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:50,768
[dramatic stings]
364
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:55,072
365
00:13:55,074 --> 00:13:57,575
What the hell is this?
366
00:13:57,577 --> 00:13:59,010
You've been memed.
367
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,678
Hey, gunslinger.
368
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,347
[all imitating gunfire]
369
00:14:04,951 --> 00:14:06,517
What is happening here?
370
00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,452
Samuel.
371
00:14:08,454 --> 00:14:11,355
- Look what they've done to me.
- Van. Come on.
372
00:14:11,357 --> 00:14:13,090
It was just a joke.
373
00:14:13,092 --> 00:14:15,559
Ooh, just a joke.
374
00:14:15,561 --> 00:14:17,762
Well, I have a joke of my own.
375
00:14:17,764 --> 00:14:19,764
Uhh, knock, knock?
376
00:14:24,704 --> 00:14:25,770
Who's there?
377
00:14:25,772 --> 00:14:27,605
- Really?
- Susan!
378
00:14:27,607 --> 00:14:30,441
A six-hour anti-bullying video
379
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:31,909
you'll all be watching this weekend
380
00:14:31,911 --> 00:14:34,045
because I have just written you up.
381
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,147
- [all exclaiming]
- No, no, no, no.
382
00:14:36,149 --> 00:14:38,215
You are being ridiculous.
383
00:14:38,217 --> 00:14:40,317
[edgy notes]
384
00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:43,387
You mean as ridiculous as
you asking me to stop them from
385
00:14:43,389 --> 00:14:45,423
- playing their fantasy league?
- Shh! Shh!
386
00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:47,892
- Wait, what?
- What?
387
00:14:47,894 --> 00:14:49,760
- What's he talking about?
- [sighs] Guys,
388
00:14:49,762 --> 00:14:52,163
let's be honest, we were bullying.
389
00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:54,432
We need to just take our
punishment and walk away
390
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,300
and not listen to
anything else anyone says.
391
00:14:56,302 --> 00:14:58,269
- Emily betrayed you.
- [workers murmuring]
392
00:14:58,271 --> 00:15:01,138
I didn't take away your
Internet for no reason.
393
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:02,440
She asked me to.
394
00:15:02,442 --> 00:15:03,974
[gasps, murmurs]
395
00:15:03,976 --> 00:15:06,577
[edgy music]
396
00:15:06,579 --> 00:15:08,479
I'm just gonna go ride
the elevator up and down
397
00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:09,947
for a while.
398
00:15:09,949 --> 00:15:13,584
399
00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:17,154
And with the tenth pick
in the longest draft ever
400
00:15:17,156 --> 00:15:19,256
because Emily had our
Internet taken away...
401
00:15:19,258 --> 00:15:20,624
- Susan.
- Thanks, guys.
402
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:22,460
I really appreciate you
letting me back in...
403
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:24,181
Enough, Susan. You're only
here so we can kick out Emily.
404
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,688
Guys, I'm sorry.
405
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:27,531
I should have been straight with you
406
00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:28,966
from the beginning,
instead of going to HR.
407
00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:30,468
- Are we cool?
- Uh, no.
408
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,870
We're the opposite of cool.
409
00:15:31,873 --> 00:15:34,772
You're on the very short
list of things that upset me.
410
00:15:34,774 --> 00:15:38,375
It's you and the shockingly
high price of shark ownership.
411
00:15:38,377 --> 00:15:39,710
It's not all my fault.
412
00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,312
I wouldn't have done what I did
413
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:42,980
if you guys would have
just finished the Rumbrella,
414
00:15:42,982 --> 00:15:45,116
which is... I don't know... Your job.
415
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,769
- And we said we would do it.
- Yeah.
416
00:15:46,772 --> 00:15:48,754
We bitch and we procrastinate
because that's what we do.
417
00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:50,155
But we would've gotten it done
418
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,390
at the absolute last possible minute.
419
00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,025
You said you had our backs.
420
00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:55,094
But then you went behind our backs.
421
00:15:55,096 --> 00:15:57,262
Yeah, just like all our other bosses.
422
00:15:57,264 --> 00:15:59,591
Except for "I Think I Can Fly" Tom.
423
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:01,127
He never had the chance.
424
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,062
Relax, Emily. We'll
get it done by Friday.
425
00:16:03,064 --> 00:16:04,942
You'll look great.
Corporate will love you.
426
00:16:04,945 --> 00:16:06,845
[sighs]
427
00:16:06,848 --> 00:16:08,570
I swear to God, if I open my eyes
428
00:16:08,573 --> 00:16:10,240
and you are wearing that "Scream" mask,
429
00:16:10,243 --> 00:16:12,009
I am going to literally piss myself.
430
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,812
Just open your eyes, Van.
431
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,547
Ha! I told you I was there. I knew it!
432
00:16:18,549 --> 00:16:20,116
The photographer cropped you out
433
00:16:20,118 --> 00:16:21,444
because you were being a dick.
434
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,185
So I told him you were dying
435
00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:25,592
and I needed this for your funeral.
436
00:16:25,595 --> 00:16:27,228
My God.
437
00:16:27,231 --> 00:16:28,998
Did the doctor say how long I have?
438
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,227
If you never give me another raise,
439
00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,829
your face right now is payment enough.
440
00:16:33,831 --> 00:16:35,944
You must feel so smug right now,
441
00:16:35,947 --> 00:16:37,912
that you handled this when I couldn't.
442
00:16:40,338 --> 00:16:43,306
[imitating gunshots]
443
00:16:43,308 --> 00:16:45,641
[light music]
444
00:16:45,643 --> 00:16:47,376
That's not how they work.
445
00:16:48,301 --> 00:16:50,668
It's rubble time!
446
00:16:50,671 --> 00:16:52,581
Are you ready, Emily?
"Sorry, I'm too busy
447
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:53,983
"narcing on my friends because I think
448
00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:55,108
I'm better than everybody."
449
00:16:55,111 --> 00:16:57,386
You're not better than everybody, Emily!
450
00:16:57,388 --> 00:16:58,387
[screams]
451
00:16:58,389 --> 00:17:00,739
[clears throat]
452
00:17:00,742 --> 00:17:02,608
I'm sorry. Please don't write me up.
453
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,827
I've been working really hard.
454
00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:07,881
I'm here to inform you
that the Internet is back on
455
00:17:07,884 --> 00:17:10,666
and you don't have to watch
the anti-bullying video.
456
00:17:10,668 --> 00:17:11,834
What happened?
457
00:17:11,836 --> 00:17:14,070
I'm not at liberty to say.
458
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:17,373
I see that open-toed shoe, Susan.
459
00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:19,742
This is a place of business.
We're not in the club.
460
00:17:19,744 --> 00:17:21,577
So if I do this,
461
00:17:21,579 --> 00:17:23,546
none of them have to
sit through it, right?
462
00:17:23,548 --> 00:17:25,548
As long as the six-hour
anti-bullying video
463
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,950
gets watched four times,
my quota is filled.
464
00:17:27,952 --> 00:17:29,013
It can't be that bad.
465
00:17:29,016 --> 00:17:31,787
Oh, I've seen it break NAVY SEALs.
466
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,590
There's a 75-minute
song about name calling
467
00:17:34,592 --> 00:17:36,559
performed by a puppet.
468
00:17:36,561 --> 00:17:38,260
- Enjoy.
- [orchestral music]
469
00:17:38,262 --> 00:17:41,263
470
00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:42,431
[sighs]
471
00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:50,321
Hi, I am recovering
super villain Prince Evillo.
472
00:17:50,324 --> 00:17:53,025
I know, I know. The name.
473
00:17:53,027 --> 00:17:55,961
Anyway, I am required to talk to you...
474
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:57,997
- [yawns]
- About bullying.
475
00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,466
What? I am doing it!
476
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:04,904
So remember what
R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells out.
477
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:08,140
- The R stands for "Respect."
- R. E.
478
00:18:08,142 --> 00:18:11,377
The E stands for "Everybody
better respect me."
479
00:18:11,379 --> 00:18:15,748
[dark music]
480
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:19,151
I don't get it. Jay Z can
say that word and I can't?
481
00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:20,586
- [groans]
- [thud]
482
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:22,588
[video soundtrack continues]
483
00:18:22,591 --> 00:18:24,458
Oh, she's been doing this for 24 hours?
484
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:26,293
She told me not to tell
you, and I wasn't going to,
485
00:18:26,295 --> 00:18:27,761
but then she started twitching.
486
00:18:27,764 --> 00:18:29,970
- All: Ooh!
- Yep. There it is.
487
00:18:29,973 --> 00:18:31,598
Uh-oh. Let's get her out of there.
488
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,562
Ooh.
489
00:18:32,565 --> 00:18:34,802
If a bully's being mean...
490
00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:37,037
I'll always intervene
491
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,906
'Cause being kind and friendly's
492
00:18:38,908 --> 00:18:41,275
Part of my daily routine
493
00:18:41,277 --> 00:18:43,911
Hey, it's over. You're safe now.
494
00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:45,646
Thank you for taking that bullet for us.
495
00:18:45,648 --> 00:18:46,947
Least I could do.
496
00:18:46,949 --> 00:18:48,982
I'm sorry I screwed everything up.
497
00:18:48,984 --> 00:18:50,551
I was trying to be a boss and a friend,
498
00:18:50,553 --> 00:18:52,386
but I guess I ended up being neither.
499
00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:53,921
Oh, Emily. That's not true.
500
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:55,122
- Really?
- Of course.
501
00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:57,057
You're definitely our boss.
502
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:59,226
And definitely not our friend.
503
00:18:59,228 --> 00:19:01,562
That played out differently
than I thought it was going to.
504
00:19:01,564 --> 00:19:02,796
It's just that we barely know you.
505
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:03,980
But we could get to know you. I mean,
506
00:19:03,982 --> 00:19:05,899
we still haven't finished
our fantasy draft.
507
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:08,736
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy
Superhero League update.
508
00:19:08,738 --> 00:19:10,471
All right, Emily. It's
the tenth pick. You're up.
509
00:19:10,473 --> 00:19:13,073
Should I take Batman or Crimson Fox?
510
00:19:13,075 --> 00:19:15,242
- I met Crimson Fox.
- Well, you gotta go
511
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:17,745
- with who you met.
- Everyone knows that.
512
00:19:17,747 --> 00:19:21,014
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay. Crimson Fox.
513
00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:22,416
- [laughter]
- So dumb!
514
00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:24,818
Not even Crimson Fox
would pick Crimson Fox.
515
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:27,020
- Well I bet your grandma would.
- What does that even mean?
516
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:29,757
- I don't know.
- [laughter]
517
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:33,527
Jackie, I just realized I left
those cufflinks in Greenland.
518
00:19:33,529 --> 00:19:35,462
I need you to hop on a
redeye and have them back
519
00:19:35,464 --> 00:19:37,164
in time for my dinner tomorrow night.
520
00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:39,199
Do you mean these cufflinks?
521
00:19:39,201 --> 00:19:41,034
Thank you!
522
00:19:41,036 --> 00:19:43,203
Didn't... polish them.
523
00:19:45,341 --> 00:19:48,342
[light music]
524
00:19:48,344 --> 00:19:50,144
525
00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:52,112
Totally different cufflinks.
526
00:19:52,114 --> 00:19:54,715
I can't believe you've put
up with him all these years.
527
00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:56,450
He always remembers my birthday,
528
00:19:56,452 --> 00:19:59,820
he got my really dumb kid
into a really good school,
529
00:19:59,822 --> 00:20:02,723
and when my dog needed
super-expensive surgery,
530
00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:07,060
he paid for a guy to come
to my house and put him down.
531
00:20:07,062 --> 00:20:10,230
Well, that's... sweet.
532
00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:11,968
So...
533
00:20:11,971 --> 00:20:14,067
let's take a look at
that finished Rumbrella.
534
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:17,884
535
00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:20,374
All right, Ron's grandma
is rolling down the street.
536
00:20:20,376 --> 00:20:21,809
The Flash... My number one pick...
537
00:20:21,811 --> 00:20:23,377
Throws Professor Zoom into a building
538
00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:26,547
because the Flash is the man.
539
00:20:26,549 --> 00:20:29,082
And... this happens.
540
00:20:29,084 --> 00:20:31,018
[buzzer blares]
541
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:33,253
[boulders crashing, thudding]
542
00:20:35,491 --> 00:20:37,491
It works!
543
00:20:37,493 --> 00:20:41,528
I mean, obviously it works
because these guys are the best.
544
00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:43,263
The rubble bounces off, but it destroys
545
00:20:43,265 --> 00:20:45,399
- everyone around it.
- Ah, ah, ah.
546
00:20:45,401 --> 00:20:48,266
Not if they have Rumbrellas too.
547
00:20:49,271 --> 00:20:51,939
Everyone has to have one. Ooh!
548
00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:54,875
The Rumbrella taketh
but, boy, does it giveth!
549
00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,711
[all exclaiming]
550
00:20:57,713 --> 00:20:59,947
- Breaking news.
- Oh, hey guys, check this out.
551
00:20:59,949 --> 00:21:02,449
Super villain Sinestro just imprisoned
552
00:21:02,451 --> 00:21:04,751
the Flash in the Phantom Zone.
553
00:21:04,753 --> 00:21:06,620
So it looks like the Scarlet Speedster's
554
00:21:06,622 --> 00:21:08,021
gonna be out all year.
555
00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:09,923
- Ohh!
- Hey, Teddy, didn't you
556
00:21:09,925 --> 00:21:12,226
pick the Flash, like a bitch?
557
00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:14,595
- Ooh! Damn, girl!
- [laughter]
558
00:21:14,597 --> 00:21:16,797
And in a shocking turn of events,
559
00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:18,966
Crimson Fox just saved
an entire cruise ship.
560
00:21:18,969 --> 00:21:20,750
- What?
- So if you were crazy enough
561
00:21:20,753 --> 00:21:23,103
to take her, ha, you're feeling
pretty good about yourself.
562
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:26,206
Ohh! Snap! I own all of you.
563
00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:29,209
- I don't need to to tell you...
- Yep, immediately regretted it.
564
00:21:29,212 --> 00:21:35,158
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
565
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:39,758
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41694
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
