All language subtitles for Portlandia s03e10 No-Fo-O-Fo-Bridge.eng

[Chimes playing]

[Hissing]

Says I should
just keep doing it.

[Hair dryer whirring]

Here, let me turn it up
a little bit.

You're in the womb,
little guy. What?

I don't think I can do this.
Let's...

[Baby crying]

Honey, I'm right here.

We're right here.
We're just looking up that way.

- We're right here.
- We're right here.

We need to find another book.

All right,
time to sleep, buddy.

We're looking right at you.

All right.
Does this feel comforting?

[Speaks French]

[Imitates French laughter]

Hey, I like your shirt.
Where'd you get that shirt?

Got it in a gift bag
or something?

Do you want us to baby-proof
everything, or are you good?

Just remember, like,
don't fall out the window.

Don't, like,
drop things on yourself.

Like, that's just
a kinda simple thing.

- Mama.
- Yeah.

Uh, you could just
call her Holly.

Hi!

Uh, yeah. Holly.

Caca.

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

[Harpsichord plays]

No food. No food.

Nothing.

Yeah, it's not good out there.

Hey, guys. How are you?

You have any luck?

I got some, uh,
spaghetti and meatballs.

Oh, it's too good to be true.

So here it is. Article about
spaghetti and meatballs.

Why'd you roll out
the information that way?

Humor is not
feeding me right now.

I've been chewing
on my tail again.

I don't know what's
going on with this place.

What happened
to our neighborhood?

There is no food any--
guys, I looked hard.

Remember when we moved here,
before gentrification.

People just walking around
with hotdogs or whatever,

and just throwing stuff out,
and...

Littering. People are not leaving
any garbage here anymore.

What are we
supposed to eat then?

What was that Greek place? What was that?
Remember that?

Yeah, Nicholas'.
So good.

I want Nicholas'.

That's where I met you.

That's where I met you
was at that garbage can.

And I established myself

as a get-along, go-along
sort of rat.

Like, you knew
I wanted to be friends.

I didn't want to fight.

I went there, and this--
this was yesterday.

It's now a toy store for kids
with all wooden toys.

Yeah, it's never been
a better time to be a termite.

I don't understand...
how they eat wood.

That seems weird to me.

Yeah, they're weird.

I'm just gonna say. Might
be time to move. Right?

Let's go right now.

Let's just run east,
and wherever we get tired,

that's our new neighborhood.

I would rather at least
do a little research.

How much research do you need?

I want Nicholas'.
Let's just go now.

Because what are the most
stressful things?

Death in the family,
divorce, and moving.

Accepting an award.

I don't know why,
but it's always on the list.

- Accepting an award.
- Okay, who's even...?

- I don't know.
- We're looking at two--

Are we up for anything?

I thought we were
talking about lists.

- I don't know.
- Let's do it.

Yes, but let's go now.

I mean, you don't really know

if you're gonna find a place with
room for three or two or 12,

so probably I should be here
just in case...

I don't know what you want from us.
We don't have a new place.

If you want to come, then come.

Is that really as good as this
invitation's going to get right now?

- I'm ready.
- Okay. Let's go.

Never thought it
would end like this.

- We'll talk about it later.
- Bye.

[Door closes]

And I'll be here waiting
to see what our future holds.

Think it's next level...

Okay. There you go.

- Huh.
- All right.

Got, like, ten minutes.

[Classical music]
The escalator over there...

- Hi. Welcome to Regal Cinemas.
- How are ya?

- Okay.
- Here you go.

Why aren't you ripping these?

- I don't get to rip it.
They don't let me yet. - Yet?

Yeah, I'm looking
for a promotion.

Is there an elevator
we can take up?

I just don't wanna miss the first
couple minutes of the movie.

There is an elevator,

but, um, unfortunately
it's employees only.

What do you do
with people in wheelchairs?

Are you two disabled?
'Cause I can call my manager.

No, we're not disabled.

If you do miss
the first minute,

I've seen it, not that good.

It's just credits.
Words and stuff.

Well, don't tell me that,
I mean...

You just ruined it for him.

Well, I apologize.

But you can just go up to
the top on the escalators.

Great. Okay, we will.
Thank you.

Enjoy your ride.

- Tickets, tickets?
- How are you?

How far up is this?

- What type of movie is this?
- It's a documentary.

It says on the back
of your tickets

you should arrive
30 minutes early

- to see a movie,
- Oh, well--

45 minutes early
if it's international.

We're not going on a plane.

You're going to see
a documentary?

- Yeah.
- Similar.

- Okay, well--
- Do you need this, or

do we hold onto it?

Do you need glasses
or something?

Yeah. What's the number
of the theater?

- 570.
- That's way up there at the top.

- Does that mean 570?
- Yes.

How do you have that
many theaters in here?

- Well, we have more up there.
- Oh.

Yeah. You guys
are almost close.

All right, well,
up we go, I guess, huh?

- Yeah.
- Let's go.

Guys, slow down around the escalators.
It's dangerous.

- Here.
- We're not running that fast.

- Theater 570?
- Yeah. Thank you.

- Oh. These are the 8:00 PM?
- Yes. We know.

I don't know if
you're gonna make it.

- What?
- You could have refund these

if they weren't ripped.

- You just ripped it.
- You're the ripper.

Yeah, it took me a while,
but now I can validate, so--

Okay, thanks.

[Man] Escalators.

Who makes them and
where are they taking us?

You'll be surprised
at the answer.

What did I miss?

There's the whole opening--

Shhh.

This is a movie theater.

- I'm Royce.
- I'm Alicia.

We're with the Portland
Milk Advisory Board.

We're here to tell you
about water milk.

It's water, and you know what?

Just drink more water.

I want to get a shout out
really quick.

This goes out to Tonya.

- Tonya is Royce's--
- Girlfriend.

Tonya loves water.
She's the only girl I know

that drinks one bottle
right after the other.

She's pretty.

She's a very--
very square features.

She's been described
as Frankensteinesque.

Which could be seen
as a good thing.

How popular was Frankenstein?

Probably one of the more
famous of all the monsters.

Frankenstein's kind
of cute when he's a girl.

Have you suffered
health problems

following the consumption
of unusual types of milk?

Reckless public service
announcements

may have directed you
to drink unregulated soy,

goat, or hemp milk.

You may have suffered
a buzzing in your ears

from unpasteurized raw milk,

or numbness in the thumbs
from cashew milk.

I'm here to help you.

Contact The Law Offices
of Larry E.

We'll work this out together.

Wait. Is there
only one table?

Oh. Yeah. Maybe I
should have warned you.

It's a communal table.

I think you'll like it.
It's so Portland.

I thought it would be
kind of a good date. Um--

[Clears throat]

What is it like dating
two people? Is that okay?

What do you mean, you and Fred?

Yeah. Okay, unless you're
dating a lot of other people.

- No.
- All right.

I thought that was just one big
party and there's other tables.

- So--
- It's not too cramped?

Everything kind of comes out
in this order.

You get to see what
everybody else is eating.

It's like you can kind of
hear their conversations,

but at the same time there
are sort of tacit rules,

so like no one bugs you,
but it just feels very vibrant.

I never sat at
a communal table.

It's a little weird.

It's cool. It's fine.

I'm sorry. Which one
were you drinking out of?

Uh, this one.

'Cause I was actually drinking
out of both of them. Sorry.

No, you can have mine too.

Could I use your fork?

Sure. Yeah.

My fork? Yeah.

Did you say you had
something to tell me?

I do. I--

I just--
it's really hard to--

it's really hard to say,
but--

You can tell me anything.
That's how I feel.

You have everything
so together.

You have this beautiful house

and you're just so composed,

and you know what you want
and where you're going

and I just--

I feel like such a mess
next to you,

like I'm dragging you down,

do you know what I mean?

No, no.
This is the thing.

I feel like we're good
for each other.

I feel like I can't really just
be myself around you, you know?

Like I have to try and
keep it together--

What? Really?

I kind of want to
be with someone I can--

Are you breaking up with me?

You are.
Is this what this is?

I'm sorry. You really are. You're
just, you're too good for me.

I mean, Fred is such a mess.

He can't even
tie his own shoes,

and that feels right to me
to be with someone like him.

Yeah, you know what?
Do you really want to-- sorry.

- Hi.
- All right.

Do you really want to be
with somebody like that,

who doesn't want
to be with you?

- I mean, I--
- You're good.

How was your food tonight?

Anyway, we're kind of
having a conversation.

I appreciate you asking
me about my meal

and I hope yours was good too.

Mine's a little salty. I think if we
come again we should ask for less salt.

- Too much salt.
- Yeah.

I like salt.
Mine was done well.

So I wouldn't need
to have less salt.

It's not good for me.
It loads me up with water.

Do you know if the dessert
menu is around somewhere?

- Dessert menu!
- Thank you.

No, it's for her.
I'm not gonna have dessert.

- You know, actually--
- You don't want dessert?

Do you want to share something?

We heard it's your birthday!

We heard it's your day!

Your special birthday!

Don't you think it was
more of just a fling?

Okay! Then, what's the difference
between dating and a fling?

A fling is just like what we were doing--
Happy birthday.

Oh, so you know that guy now?

No, I don't know him.

This is a private conversation!

I actually have to go meet up
with my boyfriend Fred.

Are you going to eat
your green beans?

[Harpsichord plays]

This looks pretty good.

Where are you looking?

Over there.

Huh, grocery store.

I see a little shop
right there.

This is cute.

I see a couple of
rats down there.

Where?

Right there by the alley.

Oh, there's more--
there's a lot!

I don't want to just
hop on the bandwagon.

Right. Like, the rats
who are here are kind of like,

"hey, we really just
discovered this place,"

- and, like, "no, you didn't."
- No.

Oh, they see us.
Hi, how are you?

Hi. Looking around.
This is like crowded.

I want people to not even know
the name of the neighborhood.

- Yes.
- "Oh, never heard of that."

- It's like, "oh, well..."
- Look right along there.

I know. Just-- all right.

Let's keep moving.
We're too late.

Thank you for responding
to the flyer.

I hope I didn't bring
you here for nothing.

I tried to keep it simple,
"roommate wanted."

It's so much more complicated
than that right now.

I don't even see
any restaurants.

- No. I see--
- This is, like, industrial.

- I don't feel comfortable here.
- Is that a dock?

- What's under the dock?
- Exactly.

- What's under the dock?
- Yeah.

Look, there's a wharf rat
over there.

Will you go talk to him?

- Me? - Just ask him what it's
like around here.

Ugh. Fine.

Hey. Hi.

Sorry, we're just looking
for a new place to move.

Oh. What do you mean?

What's it like
living over here?

I don't know.

When the sun goes down
we go down there.

A few things that you need.

I'm sorry. What?

We'll come back here to see

if there's a little bit
of fish from the boats.

You can eat fish.
That's great.

Right, but it's glass.

So you can't eat the glass
'cause it cut ya.

- Okay.
- Welcome to the neighborhood.

If you move in,
you move right in there,

there's a couple of tin cans

you could go into.

- And there's two dogs.
- Okay.

And the dogs come--
and they bit my friend.

Okay, we are getting
out of here right now.

- He seemed friendly.
- No, he did not.

This hole here leads
into the apartment.

This crevice here
is the emergency exit.

I'm looking for a
boundaryless existence

with friends who tell
each other everything.

Maybe that's asking a lot from a single
flyer where I can't actually tell you

if the place is available yet.

Look how far the city
is from here!

It looks really small
from here.

Oh, we went far!

We're in the suburbs.

The best we could do
out here is be a pet.

I knew one rat that was a pet.

He would go up and down
this guy's arm,

and that was his job.

Like he just went up and down
this guy's arm.

You're out for show
with a freaky kid.

I have to stop for a second,

wonder what my
roommates are doing.

I'm honestly crazy about them,

and they've got like almost this
secret language with each other.

I feel a little
triangulated sometimes.

That's not really your
business at this point.

We're not roommates yet, but,
um, I miss them already.

Just smell-- what is that?
It's garbage.

I don't know.
What do you think?

Just a regular
Indian restaurant.

Nothing hybrid.
This could be it.

This could be our new home.

Let's sum up the places
that we've been to,

- and we'll take a vote.
- Okay.

Up and coming area.
Paws raised for that?

No paws.

The wharf area?

No paws.

One more time.
Wharf area?

Zero votes. Last time.
Wharf area?

Honestly, I'm open to other species.
I don't always

feel so compatible
with rats myself.

I've always been a
little bit of an outsider.

So this could really
work for me.

I'm not completely against romantic
entanglements with a roommate--

- Nice work.
- Thank you.

- Good job.
- Thanks.

Your little dance
made it official.

Thank you.

Uh oh.

Where's Carrie?
Have you seen her?

No. She hasn't come down
yet this morning.

Hmmm.

[Folk song playing]

Hey. You coming down
to breakfast?

- Huh-uh.
- Why not?

It seems weird. I just don't
want to be emotional around her

or seem vulnerable.

- You know that feeling--
- Yeah.

When you run into your ex and
your stomach kind of flips over?

- I hate it.
- Don't worry about it.

I'm gonna move out
and just get my own--

- What?
- Yeah, just get my own place--

- I just need--
- What are you talking about?

Come down to breakfast.
Eat.

You know how weird it is to go
out to breakfast with your ex?

You can tell me.
Yeah?

I can't tell you.
She's your girlfriend.

Is that weird?

Yeah, it's totally weird.

This is why I'm moving out.

I know someone who can
talk you out of it.

Someone who's very good
at convincing and persuading.

Janet?

No.

Babe?

Hey, babe?

Yeah?

Hey, what's going on?

Nothing.

So she wants to move out.

What? With those boxes?

You asked me to step out
of your life and I have.

Just in a romantic way. The three
of us, we're a great team.

If it makes you feel any better,
Alexandra's just, like, a mess.

She's like a crazy person.

She's like not sane.
Not well.

You know what I mean?

She's, like, confused
and confusing, and a mess.

Also you're dating her.

I know. It's great.

We should all try
living together.

I don't think you should move out.
This is your house.

She says stuff like that.
Think about those words.

"This is your house."

She just thought of that.

- But she picked you.
- Mm-hmm.

It's so fun.

It's, like, insane fun.

Carrie, wait. Come on, stop.

Wait. We're gonna fix
you up with someone.

- That is ridiculous.
- It's a great idea!

What about Daniel
the storyteller?

He's, like, making
a living off of that now.

A storyteller?

Yeah, he, like, tells stories

- and people gather around.
- He sounds great, Carrie.

- You haven't even--
- Storyteller?

He's great.

Paul! That guy Paul!

Which Paul?

The one who's got the wife.

But he's always
complaining about her.

How about Crazy Dave?
The mechanic.

You're ignoring me.

Can I say something to you?
Seriously. Seriously.

Stop. This is for real.

This is a real, real,
real thing, okay?

Evan who works for
the coffee distributor.

He lost I think 20 pounds.
And he still looks big,

but he's actually looking
more like a person now.

His hair is like-- it isn't as frizzy,
really. It's kind of like--

it's frizzy still,
but, like, less so.

He's just looking better.

I don't think he's in town,
is the only thing.

Good luck to the both of you.

How about Charlie?

You guys do a lot
of talking, huh?

Is that what you like to do?

Talk? I talk.

Because what I like to say is,
from the brain comes ideas.

And it goes into your heart

and it goes out into the world.

People tell you
you're not gonna be nothing,

but I believe in you

when nobody does.

Because you can't live without
having hopes and dreams.

Yes.

Yeah, no, I feel like I have
my hopes pretty much set up.

I'm going to be
a sports therapist in Oregon.

That sounds like a good plan.

But for the rest of you--

I think a lot of us here
have hopes and dreams already.

I mean,
that's why we're in school.

Well, congratulations.

- I'm living pr-- yes?
- Just a quick question.

What are we gonna
need to get 100%?

Is it based on tests, or is there
something more qualitative?

For me, every day is a test.

We're gonna have
a test every day?

I meant it figuratively.

- He's eating his lunch.
- My God.

American cheese.
That is American cheese.

Oh, my God.

This is why things
don't change.

Like, no one bothers to
inspire someone like this.

We gotta take this guy
under our wing

and show him that
he can eat off-campus.

Professor Santos, we are
about to change your life.

You want to change my lunch?
What difference does it make?

Who told you that this
was the life?

Who told you that
this was enough?

I just want to teach.

It can get so much
better than that.

Don't you want to be the first
person in your family not to teach?

Absolutely. You could be
doing advertising.

You could study marketing. That's
what I'm studying. It's amazing.

I don't even believe in myself
to kind of move up like that.

We believe in you.

- I believe in you.
- I believe in you.

So does Brandon.

Brandon, you believe in me?

When you look at me,
I'm someone you believe in?

And when you believe
in someone, that someone is--

You guys, I think I found
something really good.

Junior marketing specialist
for hire. This could be you.

- Maybe I have a chance.
- Yeah!

Not too bad, huh, Brandon?

I did okay by you, huh?

You're gonna believe in me
in the future, huh?

Maybe, just maybe, I can do it.

Look, I'm still asking questions myself,
but that's what makes me vibrant.

That's what makes me an
important part of the company

is my whole curiosity.

And that's viral.
I think it's all viral.

Harnessing that is what
makes social media--

make things happen.

So, when do you think
I can start?

Okay, guys, just move that right
over in front of that wall.

- Probably, just put that--
- Careful. Those are fragile.

Hey, if you're gonna
move a mirror,

you've gotta do it carefully.

Tipping them is gonna be
so crazy. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

Where are they coming from too?

What is that thing where they sort
of kiss each other for a second

and then keep moving?
What is that?

- Wow.
- Hey!

Great, you made it.

Well, I brought
a housewarming gift.

Actually, I brought some
of my own stuff just in case

I'm a part of this after all.

Why would we move without you?

I just wasn't sure
what was happening.

When we said, "would you
like to come with us?"

- That seemed pretty clear.
- At the time,

it may have been my insecurity,

but it seemed like it
was more of a dare,

like, "say you want to come."

You were gonna stay
at the other place?

I hadn't eaten in weeks.

Do we have to do that
with everything?

Like, just invite you
to everything?

I would love it.
I would love that.

You're too sensitive.

I saw the neighborhood.
It's amazing.

Around the corner.
Indian food.

- Undiscovered?
- Mm-hmm.

I don't even think
it has a name yet,

although I was thinking
a little bit on the way over,

something about north
of the 405 over the bridge.

"Nofourbri"?

"Nofo-Oh-Fo-Bridge"?

A neighborhood needs a name.

Or does it?

Let's not name it.

I think the moment you do that

it's kind of like
a death knell for it.

This is exactly the kind of conversation
I missed having with you guys.

This is a great situation.

How about this? I don't know
what you're in the mood for,

but a good way out is just
go right through that crack

and go left--

You don't have to tell me
how to scurry.

Here I go.

Black beans and rice,
some cupcakes,

vegan and gluten free.

We've also got warm soda.
We've got cold coffee.

I'm in the mood to eat. It was
a famine at our old place.

We can say that now. It was
a famine that we survived.

"By-Fi"?
Like, "by the five"?

- "By-Fi"?
- "By-Fi"?

You guys, let's not name it.

But I just thought of
that one just now.

See? It's fun
to think about.

It's not that fun
to think about.

"Farburn," like,
"far from the burnside bridge."

- "Farburnbri." "Farburnbri!"
- "Farburnbri."

Guys, you're ruining it.

You're ruining it
for me a little bit right now.

There is something irresistible
about coming up with names.

If you want to try it just once
before we all let it go forever,

the coming up with names
for this neighborhood,

just try it once.
You'll like it.

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0