All language subtitles for Portlandia s03e09 Alexandria.eng

[Cell phone rings]

- Hello?
- Hey. Uh, it's me.

Hey, how are you?

Listen,
I'm gonna go get coffee.

You wanna come with me?

Yeah.
I'm just gonna finish up here,

and then I'll stop at my mom's,
and then I'll meet you.

- I'll see you there.
- Bye.

I like the use of color a lot.

Uh, is that your piece?

This is my piece.

Sorry. What is?

- I call it Onlooker.
- Hmm.

You know, I mean, what is art
if it's not being observed?

So are you here,
like, 24/7, or--?

Yeah.

[Engine revs, tires screech]

Hey, what do you want me to do?

[Horns honking]

Can I go?

Is that a yes?
I don't understand.

- This is actually an art project.
- What?

I'm showing the juxtaposition

of motion and stillness
in a shared public space.

Isn't this dangerous, being
in the middle of the street?

That's what I'm trying to say
with the art piece.

Good luck with it, all right?

Hey, that's my purse!
Give it back!

Well, it's part
of the art project now.

What art project?

What is personal property?
You know, how do we see "theft"?

- Good luck. - Thank you.
It's certainly going well so far.

Yeah, great.

Jeez. What the hell?

Oh, this is an art project.

Jeez.

Ow! What are you doing!

Sorry! I didn't see you.

I'm trying to hold this
for ten days.

You ruined it.
Get him!

What?

So he just grabbed my bag.
He just stole my purse.

What about your cards
and your keys?

The weirdest thing
was that he said,

"oh, this is just
an art project."

An art project?
Well, I can understand that.

You know, your dad and I
collaborated on an art project.

What-- what do you mean?

It was you.
See?

[Ominous music] _

And I sold you for
a good price to these men.

[Screams]

[Dramatic music]

Oh, my God!

What the heck?

Fred! Fred!

Carrie!

Carrie!

Oh, my God. You have no idea
what I've been through.

- You're so wet.
- It's been insane.

- Aw. - First of all,
I gotta tell you something.

This... is...

Don't-- don't--
Please--!

...an incredible,
huge part of my life.

This, what we have--

I'm so relieved
to hear you say that.

I thought you were gonna say
something totally different.

Oh, no, no, no.
It's everything to me.

You know what?
I'd really like to go to Stumptown.

After that,
we go to Jackpot Records?

Yeah, and then I thought
we could go to Screen Door.

I just want, like,
a little snack or something.

Oh, yeah, that's on
Burnside, right?

Yeah, or we can go to...

[Bell dings]

Moving on, so this piece
of art is very special.

It's called
the city of Portland.

Please, no photos.

[Laughs]

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

_

[Laughs] Okay.

Is Alexandra here yet?

- No.
- Okay.

Before she gets here,
I just want to say,

I love that she's our roommate,

but this weird thing happened
in the kitchen the other day.

- Oh, cute outfit.
- Thanks.

Is it like Breathless?

Like what?

Like the Godard film
Breathless.

No, I just read that
sailor tops

are really popular
in Lucky magazine, so...

Like, you know
French New Wave, right?

- Yeah, the film movement?
- No.

That's okay.
You should check it out.

- Yeah, let's watch some.
- Truffaut and Godard...

Are these available
on Redbox, or--?

How can you dress
exactly like this movie

and have no idea what it is?

Definitely odd,
and I like her. A lot.

I li--
I like her a lot too.

She's a cultural tease.

Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, I was depressed
in college a lot.

I just watched a lot of movies.

Oh, you should have joined
a sorority. I was in one.

It's a cultural tease.

Yeah, like, if you go in
to get a haircut

and you want some
asymmetrical haircut,

you should be like,
"yeah, I know Oingo Boingo,

or I at least know
what New Wave was."

I was explaining Prince to her.

What do you mean
explaining Prince?

I was explaining who he was.

Remember her music.

Okay, well,
this is just rough, but...

- Okay.
- Ready?

Yeah.

[Synthesizers playing]

Ooh!

Is that actually it?

Yeah, it's playing now.

Are the lyrics made up,
or you just--

did you write them beforehand?

- No, I wrote 'em before. Yeah.
- Good for you.

I have, like, this little
notebook diary kinda thing

where I scribble the ideas
and then...

I'm just gonna
turn it down a little bit.

Really?
Can you still hear?

Yep.

When someone looks
a certain way,

I just ascribe
all this knowledge to them.

Like, "oh, you must
be referencing it on purpose."

Like, I bet you recycle.

If you dress, like--

if you're all in, like,
natural fibers, and--

Not the case.

That stuff goes
in the recycling.

- The glass.
- Really?

Some of the things she says,
I'm just like, "wait, what?"

Well, the Chinese are just gonna
come by and steal it anyways.

What Chinese people?

Just they always
walk around and collect--

or the homeless people.

They take the glass
out of the recycling.

Yeah. I mean, they
make money that way.

[Glass breaking]

If she dressed
like a soccer mom,

then I'd just be like,
"great. Okay."

Yes.
It would make sense.

Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.

Oh. Alexandra.
How long have you been standing there?

[Ominous music]

- I just got here.
- Okay.

I like your look.

- "Sucksie Sucks."
- Yeah.

Oh.
Siouxsie Sioux.

You know?
The girl in the band?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

You go shopping or something?

I did. I got you guys
little presents.

- What?
- These are for us?

- Cupcakes.
- Sit down.

You're very sweet.

We're talking about
Afghanistan.

Thank you for coming
to Cinetopia.

- Hi, how are you?
- Hi. Good. Thank you.

Are you tired of all the
bland-tasting-- [Clears throat]

Are you tired of all the
bland-tasting movie food

you've been getting
over the years?

Well, for the first time, we're
actually offering a new menu.

It's an artisan menu,

and you can have something
that actually tastes great,

without tasting bland.

Are you tired of
the same old movie food?

Now in theaters--
artisan, rustic food.

It's like being in Europe
a little bit, but here.

And our vegetables are fresh.

Are any of those
vegetables even real?

Those are plastic.

Okay, great. Um, I was actually
just gonna get, like, popcorn...

Would you like to try
our artisan popcorn?

Sure.

The newspaper
really infuses the food

with the grittiness
of the paper.

I see you exhaling, sir.

We're gonna be with you
in just a moment.

You've gotta be patient, okay?

We're very, very sorry.
Our apologies.

We apologize to you.

You will not have to wait
that... much... longer... at... all.

If I could just maybe get
a Diet Sprite and I'll go,

'cause the--
the movie's starting.

Luke will make you
an Italian soda.

[Metal clanging]

[Jaunty orchestral music]

Diet Sprite.

I think Sprite's
supposed to be clear.

This is, like,
the original Sprite,

like back in the day

when they would have
coloring in it for the flavor.

Okay. Um, okay...
that... yeah.

So you went ahead
and purchased the combo box.

Tuscan popcorn...

Your arugula salad
with fresh cheese.

Mm. It stinks.
And that's good.

Your sausage panini.

Sun-dried grapes.

Salted ice cream.

Okay.

Would you like to start a tab?

Uh, yeah, I think I'm done.

What's your name?

Jaime.

How do you spell that?

- It's J-A-I--
- Slow down.

J-A...

I... M-E.

All right.
Thank you very much, "Jame."

Jay. Jame?
Customer Jame?

- It's Jaime.
- Hey.

I'm here.

Okay, I forgot to drizzle
the, uh, caramel on there.

Uh... Okay. Could I get
maybe a paper towel?

Yeah, I'm gonna go get one.

That guy's her dad.

Hey, there!
I'm Royce.

Royce started dating a woman

from the Department
of Fish and Wildlife,

so we're promoting
octopus milk.

And I said, "honey, I gotta
make this relationship work,

so we're gonna do it."

- Are you guys gonna get married?
- Who knows?

So we're not doing away
with cookie milk

we're actually just adding
another alternative.

But that's not what
this is about.

This is about you.

It's also about your
relationship with Tonya.

Yeah, but her legs
go from here to next Tuesday,

and for a guy like me,
I gotta take it.

- Hi. How are you? Are you Ted?
- Yes.

- How are you? Phil.
- Phil.

- I'm Gigi.
- Gigi, nice to meet you.

Yeah, we're from Japanese Toys.
Cool Offices.

- Great.
- What seems to be the problem?

Well, uh, this is the space.

I just feel like my desk
is a little bit blah.

We are really gonna transform not
only this office, but your life, Ted.

- Uh, we got these Japanese toys--
- Okay.

And we're gonna place them
around the desk--

so people pass by and go,
"hey, what-- explain this to me."

- Fantastic.
- Make up whatever you want.

The important part
is we're talking.

And you're using
your imagination.

And people will think,
"he's a really creative guy."

- Sounds perfect.
- Ted, are you a creative guy?

I like to think I am.
I do the newsletter.

All right...

That looks great.

[Imitates Japanese]

This is, like, a chicken fox.

Let me see your hand
for a minute.

- What's your name again?
- Ted.

You drive a lot.

I do. Yeah.

What are you on, a stick shift?

Yeah, but I use this hand.

- I'm gonna do a quick pass-by.
- Okay.

- I'm meeting her.
- Okay.

Hey, how've you been?

Yeah, that's-- this is--
the height on this is good.

- Okay.
- These are not well-made.

Is that from a show
or a comic book, or--?

I mean, it's from Japan.

Ted, you know what?
You're kind of in the way.

Can you just go to lunch?
We're gonna finish our work here.

Sure, I-- cool.

[Gong reverberates]

Phil, I need you
to bring out the big guns.

Come on.

- Got that?
- Got it.

- These two guys together?
- Yeah.

He's got one eye.

- Let's get some more stuff.
Come on. - Okay.

Look down at me.
Can you see me?

I can't see you,
'cause I'm so blinded

by those beautiful
Japanese toys.

He's at the computer.
Let's see if he's...

Yeah, that's really good.

[Muffled] I think let's leave
everyone on the side here,

'cause I think...

- Are you talking into your elbow, Phil?
- Yeah.

- I can't hear ya.
- Oh.

- I'm thinking something
like a female body. - Right.

Bare legs. Maybe something
on top that's like--

- Like a speedboat maybe?
- But with teeth?

Exactly.

- Well, that's pretty creative.
- Thanks.

Tinpos. Unipos.
Right.

I don't know
this guy's name, but...

And Tinpo's pets right here.

Mm-hmm. Uh, yeah.

And, uh,
this one is pretty good.

Oh, cool.
Do you wanna hang out sometime?

[Upbeat acoustic guitar]

Yeah.
That-- that'd be great, so...

Wow.

- So this'll be fun.
- Oh, cool.

Ooh!

[Wailing]

Carrie.
What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I don't know.
I was just checking out her band.

- Are you wearing perfume?
- Yeah.

Are you on a date?

Nope. Are you?

- No.
- Okay.

[Wails]

Whoo!

Thank you.

Thanks so much for coming out.

For this next track,
I wanna give a shout-out

to, um, a special someone
that's in the audience.

Uh, I think you know
who you are.

I think
she's referring to... me.

We're, like,
hanging out a little bit.

Like hanging out, hanging out.

Yes.

[Tuning voice to keyboard]

Okay, well, I just
was gonna tell you

that Alexandra and I
were hanging out.

Intimately.
Like sex.

Are you joking?

I can't believe
we're dating the same person.

Wow.
You're putting it into words.

She is not the kind of person

I thought either of us
would date.

She's just whimsical.

That's what
whimsical people do.

Yeah, whimsical people
date best friends.

- I just feel adventurous for once.
- Me too.

Like having fun
and just being frivolous.

And being a dummy.
I wanna be a dummy.

- Are you jealous?
- No.

I'm not either.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Nothing comes between us.

- She looks cute, though.
- Yeah.

That was a cover
by The Violent Ferns.

Femmes.

[Laughs] Femmes.

Aw. That's all right.

Think about 2.2 miles,
I think.

Yeah, I wanna do four
before we're done. Okay...

Hey.

- Huh.
- Wow.

Look at all these flyers.

So many missing cats.

This is the coyotes.

That is definitely coyote.

You know, we should let
people know.

They come down from the hills,

and they just prey
on little animals.

Yeah.
These are not missing cats.

These are dead cats.

All right, wanna continue?

- Let's do it.
- All right.

[Coyotes howling]

- Kath?
[Angrily] - What?

- Are you awake?
- Yes, I'm awake.

I know what you're gonna say.

- Those coyotes.
- Ugh.

It sounds so evil.

A life is ending, and an
innocent animal is being slain.

They're bragging
about their kill.

We have to fight back
at this point.

Shut it!

We need to sleep!

My wife needs her sleep.

Coyotes!

Hunt during the day.

[Man] Shut up!

I-- we hear it too.

Well, hopefully that did it.

It's quiet for now.

I'm gonna power down.

Kath is powering down.

[Imitates backwards speech]

Come in. Come in.

Come in.

I speak for the coyotes.

But you were a coyote,
and now--

This is our land.
We were here first.

Whoa.
Let me write that down.

Dave, do you hear what I say?

Is any of this
getting through to you?

Aah!

And why do you have
to kill cats and dogs?

'Cause we're hungry.

You can go to restaurants.

We can't go to restaurants.

That's great. Okay.

Maybe we can get together

and walk down
the same trail together.

That's us.
Yeah, I am so sorry.

[Howls]

[Gasps]

I just had the most
enlightening dream.

Dave, I think I had
the same dream.

I-- you know what?

I don't think we're gonna
get to sleep tonight

until we get out there
and do something.

It's pretty good, actually.

- Yeah.
- I don't mind it.

Got some of the tail
in there I think.

[Belches]

Are there more cats?
Here, kitty.

Hi, are you guys
here for the tour?

I'm Kathleen.
Come up, we'll get started.

So this here
is the Lucky Seven House,

which was a punk house
from 1984 to 2012,

when it was officially
placed on the register

of Portland Historic Homes.

You will notice a smattering
of couches on the porch.

For punks, couches were
considered a status symbol.

All right, come on in.

[Punk music playing]

Follow me into the living room.

- Lars, you're gonna be here for this?
- Mm-hmm.

So Lars will be
joining us for this.

Often many people would be
staying at the house at once,

often more than should be
legally allowed.

That's because punks
were not interested in

making it your way.

So you'll find outdated cameras
and outdated cassette tapes,

recording over
other recorded music.

So, uh, the next part--

Music.
I suppose-- yes.

The pop DJs stood at attention,

and the people
just fed off of it.

Yummy.
Can I have some more slop?

Uh, the descendants
stayed right here.

Great.

Vic Venom was here,
and he farted like this. [Farts]

He lifted up his legs.

Okay. Come in. You'll be passing
through the two refrigerators

to accommodate
all the leftovers

they were unwilling
to throw out.

Uh, you can see here
the vats of food--

Hunger is the father
of necessity.

And ingenuity.

Great.
Are there any questions?

- I have one.
- Okay.

When you have a house
full of 20 or 30 people

and one bathroom,

how do you decide who goes
to the bathroom first?

This is no different than
any other American house.

There was exchange
of information,

exchange of ideas...

That doesn't answer who goes
to the bathroom first.

There was learning.
There was reading.

Do you remember
what reading was?

- Of course.
- Do you remember when--

- Pardon me?
- Of course.

People often crashed
in the various vehicles.

The old airstream.

The tent on the couch,

people would stay
for sometimes weeks.

Well, well, well, look what
the government dragged in.

What's the matter,
congress got your tongue?

Thank you, Lars.

So feel free to take pictures
and then just, uh, head out.

See you in Disneyland.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How are you?
- I'm good. What do you think?

- I feel like you really got it.
- Really?

- Yeah. - Oh, and thank you
for those punk rock tapes.

That really helps with the character.
That's--

Like, there's just this little bit
of danger that you're capturing,

and I think
it makes people feel

like they're really
with a punk.

I did Mephistopheles,
you know, in Cats,

and part of being
the villain there

- is just being still.
- Oh, that's great.

So some of us might go to Olive
Garden later if you want to join us.

Yeah.

Wake up! Wake up!

Fred, wake up.
Wake up! Wake up!

How are you dressed already?

- Try these on.
- Alex.

Come on. Try these on.
We're gonna take photos.

- Come on. Ready?
- All right.

- Champs-Elysees. Think France.
- All right.

What are you doing with these
pictures, before you do this?

What are you
gonna do with these?

They're just for us.

All right.

[Man speaks French] _

- Wake up.
- Oh, my God.

- Hi.
- You ready to get up?

Wait, why are you--
why are you all dressed?

It's Bastille Day.

- Oh, 1789.
- Yes.

Uh-huh.
Louis the 16th.

No, it's just an excuse
to go out.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Come on.
Do you wanna wake up?

- I do. Yeah.
- Let's have fun.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

_

_

_

Come on! Let's go!

[Imitates French] _

- Aah.
- Whoa.

- Whoa.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- What's up?

Uh, Bastille Day?

Are you going?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Well, it'll be fun.

We'll both be there, we're
both dating the same girl.

That's life.
It happens.

Yeah, just, you know,
running around

and smiling
and lots of kissing and...

Probably roll down a hill
on my own for no reason.

Yeah, no, I'll be in a really
heightened state of arousal.

I'm gonna be saying stuff like,

"oh, come on. Come on.
Give me that.

Gimme. I want it.
I want that now."

Yeah,
and I'm just gonna be like,

"uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm."

- Quite like that.
- Yeah, me too.

- You ready?
- Let's do it.

Sorry.
I got lipstick all over you.

It's okay.
So do you.

What?

[Laughter]

_

_

_

- I think she's asleep.
- Yeah.

She had too much wine.

Yeah. She's really
pretty when she sleeps.

Her face was so close
to me all day.

Really? I couldn't see her face,
'cause it was on my face.

Did you see when she was,
like, chasing me?

I was like,
"you're chasing me?"

Yeah, I was there with you.

Were you? I saw you.
I did see you.

- Yeah.
- Thank you for helping.

I love you guys.

- I love you too.
- I love you too.

You made this the best
Bastille Day ever.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[Snoring]

[Man singing in French]

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0