All language subtitles for Party Down s02e06 Not On Your Wife Closing Night.eng

All I can say is
congratulations

and I need
a new governess.

Marguerite, finally.

I expected at least a lion.

Well, it wasn't that type of hunt,
Mrs. Mandible.

Meet Sergio.

Oh.

Mr. Jobless! But you're dead.

Chauncey.

This is gonna suck.

Actors are bad enough,
but fucking community theater...

it's like a delusion
of a delusion.

Penelope has pictures
of her husband with Mrs. Mandible,

so now she can marry
Mr. Dauntless.

If you were disguised as the maid
the whole time,

where is Fatima?

Colonel Bay was
Fatima in disguise.

I did a show here once. It was cool.
You just gotta get in the right mindset.

Like pretending
it's 100 years ago

and anyone gives a shit
about theater?

While we're at it,
why don't we go check out

the epic poetry chant
at the agora.

All the couples end up
happily matched.

Oh, Fatima and the governess
are making out.

Holy shit.

- Hey.
- Hey. God, I'm so sorry.

My audition went, like,
really long.

It's all right.
You didn't miss much.

Oh, you did miss
a delightful little farce.

Oh good,
'cause I fucking hate farce.

Really?
'Cause given our relationship,

I'd have guessed you love it.

I'm sorry I made a pass
at you, Henry.

- No no no, it's...
- I really really am.

You were totally right.
I treated you badly last year.

- No.
- And then I get into a hot tub

for two seconds
and I lose all of my common sense.

No no. Well, yes.

Right.
I blame alcohol.

- Fucking alcohol. Why is it legal?
- I don't know.

- That's my question.
- I was thinking about that.

It's like if only
our representatives

would pass a law
banning alcohol,

none of this shit
would ever happen.

Yeah, and there'd be less
organized crime.

Totally. None of that
big-band jazz.

Right, none of those annoying
flapper people

- that are everywhere these days.
- Gone, yeah.

Okay, so since we're doing
shtick again, does that mean that...?

Yeah, we're cool.

Okay.

Wait, did you... did you tell anybody
about what happened?

Like, am I gonna walk in there
and be shunned as a harlot?

- It's our little secret.
- It is.

I mean, if you're shunned,
it'll just be for the usual reasons.

- Yeah, 'cause I'm a Jew.
- Yeah.

And then the audience
couldn't stop laughing.

Cool. Great.
There you go.

- You were simply magnificent.
- No, you were magnificent.

- Oh.
- As were you, also magnificent.

And the others... magnificent.

Ha ha ha, so you were
all magnificent,

which means statistically
magnificent is average

and you were all
average.

There you are.
Congratulations.

Everyone, everyone, if I could just...
thank you.

Thank you.
Grazie. Grazie.

As you all know,
I am Leland Cork,

director of
the Lyre of Orpheus Theater.

I would just like to say
congratulations

to the cast and crew
of "Not on Your Wife"

for a brilliant opening night.

You are all
simply magnificent.

Woman: Hear hear!

Leland: I'd also like to thank
everyone else

for your magnificent support
of the Lyre of Orpheus Theater.

It is only through
your generous donations

that we are able to ensure
as always

that the show must go on.

We all humbly thank you

and encourage you to write
just one more check, of course.

No no no, seriously,
let us fill our glasses,

toast our players

and all get drunk

on theater!

Angela, David. Brava.

Mona, Mona,
house manager, savior.

A magnificent show,
Mr. Cork.

Yes, the toilet's
backed up again.

Could you possibly fix it?

On the parapet at midnight

I see the ghost
of Kyle Bradway.

You thatch-headed wastrel,
come here.

- How have you been?
- Oh, so good,

you know, just working my way up,
doing my thing.

Oh, splendid. Splendid.

We launched this boy
from this very stage.

Fresh off the bus,
I cast him

as Longshoreman
in "A View from the Bridge. "

A casting director sees him,
puts him on television.

And ever since... whoosh!

Oh well.

Gordon Babalah!

Come here,
you bald-headed wastrel.

Well, I think you're better off
without Paul, Casey.

Hey, now you're single,
I'm single.

It's like look out, world,
two cougars on the prowl.

Yeah, except that I wouldn't
call myself a cougar, but...

No, don't run yourself down
like that.

You're a sleek, sexy
wild cat on the prowl.

No, cougar
is like a slang term for...

for a woman of a certain age
who goes after younger men.

- That's a cougar.
- It is? Really?

- Yeah.
- Huh.

What about "bear"?
That's not slang for anything.

"Bear" is slang for a large,
hairy gay man.

Well, that explains a lot.

I'm gonna have to change
my online dating profile.

Hey, as soon as you can with those,
okay, guys?

- Yeah.
- Where's Ron?

Ron is indisposed.

Okay, well,
then when you get a sec, Casey,

can you help me get
the white wine backstage?

- Aye aye.
- Well, if anyone catches your eye

tonight, let me know.
I'm a great wingman.

Eh, just no actors.

How about a former actor?

Maybe you should get back
with Henry, huh?

- No.
- Did you think about it? No?

Love him and leave him?
Been there, done that?

- He has a girlfriend. And no.
- Does he have a big one?

- Does he? Tell me. I always...
- Jesus. Ron!

- Yeah?
- What is that?

Oh, a little light bathroom reading...
"Management Secrets of the CIA."

There.

Now how come
there are so many

ding-a-ling actor/model/producers
in this town

and so few
down-to-earth achievers

who just want to make
something of themselves?

We're a rare breed, Lydia.

Excuse me.

- I heard what's next.
- Mm!

- "Glengarry Glen Ross. "
- Ooh.

- What's your name?
- Fuck you, that's my name.

I don't know.
I don't speak actor.

I thought all you guys
were actors.

No, some of us pursue
more useful work.

- You're an engineer.
- Nope, he's a writer.

- Oh.
- Hey, I need a single-malt neat.

We're out.
I hid some in the office.

Woman: A writer?

Great Scott, writer.
Let me buy you a drink.

Why?

You make us exist.
In the theater, the writer is God.

God?

Oh Kyle.

Be a good chap,
give us that.

Oh yeah.
Is everything okay?

Oh, it's just, you know,
Nina flirting.

Oh my God, is your wife
having an affair?

Mm, oh, no no no.

But you know actresses.

They always require
bucketloads of adoring attention,

which I can't always provide
because I'm too busy

stroking the other actors,
the crew, the audiences,

just trying to keep this rat trap
from falling apart.

I feel like Atlas
supporting the world on my shoulders.

You know, it seems like
you're doing a pretty good job.

Seems? Ah, yes yes.

There's the rub, dear boy.

The fact is we're broke.

- Man.
- Yes, usually

Marguerite Tayler
writes us a check for 10 grand.

But this year... zip.

Dude, I am so sorry.

Oh Kyle,
I'm the only realist

among this starry-eyed
group of dreamers.

I'll be fine.
It's them I'm worried about.

This theater...
it's the only taste they get.

Without that check
they're just

legal assistants
and librarians again.

Mm, you cannot give up.

What's that saying you came up with?
The show must go on.

I didn't exactly
coin that phrase.

I'll convince Marguerite.
That casting director

didn't exactly cast me
because I rocked onstage.

I convinced her

in the back seat
of her Range Rover.

Oh Kyle,

you thatch-headed devil.

All right, Marguerite...
what's she look like?

- A red blouse...
- Right.

...brown hair, big personality.
You can't miss her.

- If you can pull this off...
- I'm on it.

Yeah, it's ridiculous.
She's gone on, like, 10 blind dates

with gay guys
who look like Rob Reiner.

All enthusiastic to discuss
Escapade's dance wardrobe?

- You're such a fucking homophobe.
- What?

- Marguerite Tayler.
- Casey, right?

- Yeah, Casey Klein.
- Right. Hi.

- Hi.
- How are you?

I am really good now.

Keeping out of trouble?

Well, you know,
trying to.

- Not succeeding, I hope?
- No.

I'm actually even considering
not trying at all anymore.

Oh. Well, I don't.

I know.
I mean, I assume.

Yeah, well...

It's great seeing you,
Casey.

You too.

Hey.

Don't stay out of trouble.

Okay.

Yeah, so imagine
Lydia and Rob Reiner

just talking about
tween fashions all night.

I mean, what did the hairy
gay guy even expect, you know?

Unless "cougar" means
something gay.

- Uh, what the hell was that?
- What?

What? I've never seen someone
flirt so outrageously.

I thought you were gonna
date-rape her or something.

What?
No, that's Marguerite Tayler.

It's just I went to this bar

and then it turned out to be
like a lesbian karaoke bar.

- They have those?
- Yes, they have. Lesbians love karaoke.

- Okay.
- And she's also a producer at Warners

and she makes
a whole bunch of comedies.

So, you know, she thinks
I'm kind of cute and she thinks I'm gay,

so I flirt with her
so that she'll cast me in something.

Okay, well, I have to say
it made me a little uncomfortable.

What are you even
talking about?

I thought guys were supposed to
find that kind of thing hot.

No. I mean, you know,
if you were big-titted twins maybe.

Oh, you men

with your deep-rooted fear
of female sexuality.

Well, more of a disgust,
really.

Fear I have
for other kinds of sexuality

being weirdly shoved
in my face.

Hey man, maybe this is
more your speed.

Wow.

Yeah, that's much better.

Although I still can see
your crudely wanton ankles.

Check these out.
I'm wearing my push-up socks.

- Oh really?
- Very sexual.

Whoa.

- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.

- No, I'm doing...
- No, I don't care. It's okay.

I'm doing it again.
I'm sorry.

Henry: No.

I mean, in the interest
of full disclosure...

Yeah?

...I was also uncomfortable
the other night

because I was really...

Tempted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whew. So um...

Henry, we also need red...

Hi, Lydia.
Red wine?

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, we have some here.
No problem.

- Okay, thanks. I'll bring it out, yeah?
- Sorry. Okay.

- All right?
- Yeah, sure thing.

- Okay, we have to stop this.
- I know, I know, I know.

Aside from the fact that it's wrong,
if anybody found out...

I know. It's a mess, a disaster.
I get it. I understand. Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

...a maniac.

Oh, but I hear they're doing
"Glengarry,"

which should be
an absolute coup.

Marguerite, I presume?

Why, yes.

Well, it looks like you need
another drink. White wine, right?

Well, I already have
this one.

Well, it looks like
you need another.

And the whole world is
humanoid replicants

except for one last guy...

one last man
who has to blend in,

or else he'll too be sent
to the processor farms.

This is so juicy.

A human being
forced to repress

all that
makes him human.

And that's his whole life,

alone, hunted by machines.

The creator being replaced
by the creation.

Where would you even
begin to find

the sense memory
to build the performance?

Barkeep, would you be so kind
to provide...

- Marguerite.
... with a white wine?

- Wine.
- All: To wine.

One of the earliest products
of human civilization.

There you go.

- Kyle: Thank you, good sir.
- Ooh, I like it.

I know, me too.
It's a great place, huh?

- Yeah, you know, I got my start here.
- Oh yeah?

Yeah, it'd be a shame
to see a place like this vanish.

- Aww.
- What would it take

for someone like you
to write a check to this little theater?

- Do you really want me to tell you?
- So bad.

- It's complicated.
- Oh.

- And naughty.
- Ooh.

Then I guess
you don't need to tell me.

Hey Henry,
let me ask you something.

Yeah?

What do you think
of Lydia?

I mean, as a woman.

You mean,
like you and Lydia?

Yeah, we're both single,
lonely people.

I mean, she said I was a catch.
I caught her checking out my ass.

And you clearly have no problem
with workplace romance, so...

Um, you know,
as team leader,

if you tell me about this
I have to write a report.

So I can't listen.

Copy that.
Copy that.

- Casey.
- Yeah?

Let me ask you
something:

If you were me
and you caught Lydia

just like feasting her eyes
on your ass...

I left my comb backstage.

- That's great.
- This is like a dream I had.

Oh, which is another thing
that's so great about the theater,

because like, you know, here
dreams become...

Oh!

It is naughty.

And complicated.

Oh, another day,
another dollar.

- Hello, Lydia.
- Hello, Ron.

A fresh tray just for you.

Oh, wasn't that
thoughtful of you?

Oh hey,
have you seen Casey?

Casey left her comb
backstage. Why?

Oh, just a little girl talk,
you know?

- Girls talking.
- Yeah.

Well, be seeing you.

Yeah, not if I see you first.

Pardon me?

Not if I see you first.

Oh, right.

Lydia,

not if I see you first.

Casey, Casey, finally.
You'll never believe what I...

No, beast, no.

Filthy, disgusting.
Whoo! Whoo!

The author is drunk.

Roman: This is so interesting,

'cause the first dramas
were associated with Dionysian rituals

which involved alcohol
and pansexual frenzy.

Pansexual frenzy!

Ha ha! Pansexual frenzy.

Grr.

Be careful.
He's a total cougar.

What does that mean?

So I rush to the wings
where Oliver here...

- Is fast asleep.
- Is fast asleep, of course, as usual.

But the show
must go on.

So I think what I'll do is
I'll shout "Bang!"

Well, the cue for the gunshot comes.
Oliver falls off his stool.

The broom hits the floor... bang!
No one ever knew.

Oh God, my teeth hurt
from grinning.

Well, the show must go on.

Oh Kyle, you dirty, devilish,
useful boy.

$50?

- 50 bucks?
- Wait a minute,

this check's from Donna Mullens.
She's one of our actresses.

No no no, brown hair, red blouse...
her name is Marguerite, right?

No, that's the character
she plays,

whom we named after a woman we
want us to write a check for 10 grand.

- God.
- Her.

Kyle:
Her? No, that is not brown.

- That is light brown.
- What?

Casey, what color
is her hair right there?

Uh, hazelnut.

Leland: It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.

Look, she's eye-fucking
your brains out as we speak.

Go go go.

- Daryl, you were absolutely delicious.
- Thank you.

Casey, I've been dying
to gossip.

- Why?
- So Henry's not so taken after all.

No no, you have
the wrong idea.

First I see him making out backstage
with the leading lady.

- And then I see...
- Wait wait wait.

I'm sorry,
which leading lady?

The pretty one
in the veil thing.

My wife!

Fuck.

What just happened?

You were great in "Misery. "

White wine.

What say ye, God of Wine?

What say
the Lord of Revels?

She shall receive...

- red wine!
- Red wine!

It is red wine!

- I wanted... I wanted white.
- Red!

He speaks it,
so it shall be.

He says it shall be red,
red as blood. It is red.

Roman:
You forgot your wine.

Hey, Henry.

- What the fuck is that?
- I have no idea.

- Okay, listen, there's a problem.
- What?

Thanks to Lydia,
the theater director guy thinks

that you were making out
with his wife backstage.

- What?
- Yeah, it's bad.

He's gonna, like, kill her
or kill himself or I don't know.

Shit.

I'll see you later.

Marguerite, I presume?

Looks like you need
another drink.

- Vodka tonic?
- This is soda water, actually.

Oh, soda water...
effervescent.

Hence the name, yes.

Because you need
a little thrill.

Because I need
to drive home later.

Oh, so you drive stick or...?

- A Prius.
- For the environment.

Yeah, totally, doing what
nature intended. I love that.

Actually, it's for
the carpooling sticker.

I'm sorry,
I find this baffling.

Hello, Marguerite.
Have you seen where Nina went?

No, I haven't.

Hey, Mr. Cork.
Hi. Can we talk to you?

Yes, Henry.
Right right, yes.

You'd like to compare notes
on kissing my wife?

No, actually there's been
a big misunderstanding.

Oh, what's
to misunderstand?

You were backstage
making out with my wife!

Okay, I was backstage,
but I wasn't with your wife, actually.

Hi hi.
Magnificent party.

Right, Henry?

Okay, can we talk to you
in private, please?

Kyle: I don't get it, you know?
I tried everything...

the looks, the double entendres,
and nothing.

Well, some women like
the direct approach, you know?

Just step up, look 'em in the eye
and make your move.

- Yeah, seems a little crude.
- Some women like it.

Kyle: All right.

Right?

Sure.

There's all kinds of women.

And all kinds of men.

Oh boy,
you can say that again.

Hi.

Hi.

Mm!

Oh Lydia.

Oh Lydia.

Stop!

Stop, Lydia!

Stop it, Lydia, stop it!

Ron, what are you doing?

You called me an achiever.

You said you wanted somebody
to step up and make a move.

You checked out my ass.

There was frosting
on your pants.

It's gone.
It's gone.

- Oh God.
- Oh gosh.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- It was a misunderstanding.
- It was a total misunderstanding.

- Yeah. Oh God.
- Yeah.

- It's kind of funny, I guess.
- It is funny.

I feel bad.

Let's keep this
our little secret.

Yeah yeah, let's not
let anybody in on this one.

It'll be our little secret.
That's a really good idea.

Have you guys seen
the bottle opener?

- Uh, we were just...
- Talking.

Thank you.

You know, it says
"Do not rub or apply salves. "

So don't do that.

I don't know
what a salve is.

Yes, Lydia did see me backstage
kissing someone in the costume.

And the point
of dragging me back here

for this roundabout
exposition?

- We're trying to keep a secret.
- Yeah, and if you consider

the spirit of the play you're doing,
I think you'll find it

very much
in the spirit of the...

okay, I was kissing someone
in the veil,

but it wasn't your wife,
you see?

- It was...
- Another actress.

- Hey.
- Hi. I was just...

- Nina.
- Oh hi, Leland.

Hi. Looking for someone else
to make out with?

Henry: No no no.
See, it wasn't her.

Sorry. The bathroom's
backed up again.

You see, that's what's funny... she
didn't make out with anyone backstage.

- The woman in the veil...
- It was some straight actress

whose face is probably
all scuffed up from the stubble.

At least deny
that you were backstage

making out with some
random person.

Marguerite is not
a random person.

- Her?
- We hang out all the time.

It's so obvious.
How could you not know?

I thought you were getting her
to write a check.

At ladies' karaoke night?

Oh, I'm sorry.
Since when did ladies' karaoke night

become lesbian scissoring night?
Jesus, Nina.

Like you haven't been having
your own affair,

all those late nights
at the theater.

Yes, trying to
keep us afloat.

She's obviously
in love with you.

Mona?
That's preposterous.

Well, that's a shame, because I am
moving in with Marguerite.

You would leave me
for the woman

who has doomed the Lyre of Orpheus?
This theater is your life.

Your life, Leland.
Open your eyes.

There you are, beautiful.

What's so funny?

Nothing.

Marguerite is gay.

I know. It's like all these
little misunderstandings

adding up
to this tragic ending.

Um, the toilet's fixed,
Mr. Cork.

Doesn't matter now.

We're broke.
The theater's done for.

The theater?
It can't.

How much do you need?

Mona, you're a legal secretary.

We need $10,000.

I have $11,000.

Ho ho ho, somebody had
a wild night.

I thought we weren't gonna
say anything.

No, nothing happened
with us in the kitchen.

I was talking
about Henry backstage.

Backstage?

Henry, I thought we weren't
gonna say anything.

L... wait.

- But I...
- Did you...?

How did...? No, I didn't...
You... I thought... You...

He... He said...
You... You...

Mona: Whoo!

The theater is saved!

The Lyre of Orpheus lives!

The show will go on!

Magicifent!

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