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1
00:00:18,777 --> 00:00:21,318
Dude, this is gonna be so awesome.
2
00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:23,640
- What's gonna be awesome?
- Single mixer.
3
00:00:23,765 --> 00:00:26,365
- Roomful of lonely ladies!
- And fellas.
4
00:00:26,715 --> 00:00:27,988
Fish in a barrel, man.
5
00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:30,407
We are all getting way laid, right?
6
00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:31,661
Oh, good.
7
00:00:31,786 --> 00:00:34,200
Really, last time this guy
hooked up with one girl,
8
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,625
hour later, hooked up with her twin.
9
00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:38,094
And twins!
10
00:00:38,426 --> 00:00:41,265
Actually I figured out later it was
{just }the same girl who put a sweater on.
11
00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:43,184
- I see.
- Okay people?
12
00:00:43,473 --> 00:00:45,835
What do I say?
What do I say all the time?
13
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,610
No personal business...
14
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:49,342
on...
15
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:51,853
- company...
- Property.
16
00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:53,278
- Pond.
- Time.
17
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,293
- What the fuck is this?
- It's like a nightmare dream sequence.
18
00:01:22,462 --> 00:01:24,687
Am I the only one who thinks
this is like, really wrong?
19
00:01:24,812 --> 00:01:25,862
Wrong, how?
20
00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:29,307
I dunno, all these old people cruisin'
around, trying to fuck each other.
21
00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:31,480
{Well }They're probably divorced,
or widowed
22
00:01:31,605 --> 00:01:33,887
and haven't been single in a while,
they need something.
23
00:01:34,058 --> 00:01:35,606
So play cribbage.
24
00:01:35,785 --> 00:01:38,629
My grandma is not for cruising
around like a skank.
25
00:01:38,754 --> 00:01:41,409
Those hands, veins, and spots.
26
00:01:42,794 --> 00:01:45,244
- Groping each other all over.
- Yuck!
27
00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:49,735
Wrinkled parts pounding
against wrinkled parts.
28
00:01:51,104 --> 00:01:52,162
They're flirting.
29
00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:54,976
{I mean }Seriously lady, that guy's scrotum
has got to be like three feet long.
30
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,764
Two eggs in a tube sock.
31
00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:59,393
- I mean, could he even get it up?
- Nah, they just...
32
00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:02,616
wag it around till it shoots
little puffs of dust.
33
00:02:02,794 --> 00:02:03,794
Sick.
34
00:02:04,942 --> 00:02:08,942
Why is everything an ultimatum?
Like, that's what I don't understand.
35
00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:11,563
Yeah because I'm finishing
my show, you know that.
36
00:02:11,688 --> 00:02:14,438
And I have those aud...
i do have auditions!
37
00:02:17,048 --> 00:02:19,469
Look I don't know, okay?
So I have to go, okay?
38
00:02:19,594 --> 00:02:21,944
Can I...
can I please call you back?
39
00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:23,452
Thank you.
40
00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,312
Kyle is looking for you.
41
00:02:30,437 --> 00:02:31,437
Doubtful.
42
00:02:31,828 --> 00:02:35,657
{I mean }He's still fuckin' crying about the fact
that he shaved off his eyebrow
43
00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:37,576
- and fucked up that audition.
- Okay.
44
00:02:38,782 --> 00:02:42,206
You know, I mean he shaved
his own eyebrow. He had the clippers.
45
00:02:45,254 --> 00:02:47,154
So what's going on with you?
46
00:02:48,262 --> 00:02:50,851
Hey, we up for tonight?
Henry. Smiles?
47
00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:52,945
I'm smiling ron, new me.
48
00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:54,939
I love it, the new Henry.
49
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,565
Good.
50
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:59,053
Okay.
Remember no staring.
51
00:02:59,332 --> 00:03:01,312
Okay, they're just
a bunch of old people
52
00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:04,098
just doing the best they can.
So don't stare. Just...
53
00:03:04,223 --> 00:03:07,487
pretend they're not there. Do our job
and pretend they're not there.
54
00:03:07,612 --> 00:03:09,412
Ron, you're kinda staring.
55
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,720
Old people freak me out.
56
00:03:14,845 --> 00:03:16,990
- Have you ever seen it?
- Seen... seen what?
57
00:03:17,306 --> 00:03:18,306
Them.
58
00:03:18,436 --> 00:03:19,436
Doing...
59
00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:22,465
- it.
- Have you?
60
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,431
Disney world, I was eight years old.
61
00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:28,598
I got sick, I went back to my hotel.
62
00:03:28,723 --> 00:03:31,074
Walked in on my grandparents,
they didn't notice.
63
00:03:31,199 --> 00:03:32,645
They just kept...
64
00:03:33,615 --> 00:03:36,545
their mouths...
and... their hands,
65
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:38,756
it was like watching a mummy battle.
66
00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:41,260
- Two whites and an old fashioned.
- What's like a mummy battle?
67
00:03:41,385 --> 00:03:43,308
- His grandparent's fucking.
- Don'T.
68
00:03:43,759 --> 00:03:44,759
Don'T.
69
00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,318
Go circulate.
70
00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,308
Why would you...
71
00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:51,775
please make me a vodka.
72
00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:53,902
Coming right up.
Check this out.
73
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:56,191
Got something going on here.
74
00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,325
Look at that, where'd
you get those new moves?
75
00:04:00,609 --> 00:04:03,377
{Well, }As I sat in my studio
apartment last night
76
00:04:03,502 --> 00:04:05,202
trying to decide between
77
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,538
falling asleep on the couch
or walking the four feet to the bed,
78
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,839
a show came on about this cop
79
00:04:11,964 --> 00:04:15,269
and how this slasher
killed his entire family.
80
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:18,000
Okay...
with his whole life shattered,
81
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,370
this guy became like a super cop.
82
00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:22,611
Ya know? So I thought,
83
00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:26,910
I should do that.
Let the job fill my emptiness.
84
00:04:27,035 --> 00:04:29,630
This job? Are you talking about
this job or becoming a super cop?
85
00:04:29,755 --> 00:04:32,973
'Cause listen, I watch the shield.
I don't {really }see you lasting on the streets.
86
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:36,348
- No I meant bartending.
- Bartending, well thank god.
87
00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:41,190
You doing okay?
88
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,535
Sorry to hear that.
89
00:04:47,835 --> 00:04:49,960
- You are super bartender.
- Told you.
90
00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:51,293
Hello everyone!
91
00:04:51,835 --> 00:04:53,385
I'm Pepper Mcmasters!
92
00:04:58,158 --> 00:05:00,609
Welcome to seniorlicous!
93
00:05:05,623 --> 00:05:06,848
If you read my book,
94
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,926
you know that we're gonna
take your single senior life
95
00:05:10,051 --> 00:05:11,563
and add a little pepper.
96
00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:16,590
Because love and romance
isn't just for kids, is it?
97
00:05:16,715 --> 00:05:18,851
No, no, no.
Well all need it,
98
00:05:18,976 --> 00:05:20,576
and we all can get it!
99
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,281
Absolutely!
100
00:05:24,648 --> 00:05:26,763
So our presentation
will begin shortly,
101
00:05:26,888 --> 00:05:29,638
but ya know, in the meantime
just loosen up,
102
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,133
live a little,
103
00:05:31,258 --> 00:05:33,658
and, get ready
for a surprise or two.
104
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,549
- Surprises?
- Surprises, they're coming.
105
00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:46,116
Hey Roman, congrats man.
106
00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:48,314
I heard that George Lucas
{totally }loved your script,
107
00:05:48,439 --> 00:05:50,426
- everyone's talking about it.
- {Yeah, }First of all
108
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,691
I told no one
about that little message you left me.
109
00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:55,340
Second, everyone knows
Lucas is kiddy bullshit.
110
00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:56,733
I'm hard sci-fi.
111
00:05:57,404 --> 00:06:00,946
And never the twain shall meet.
Kick ass revenge bro. Kick ass.
112
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,270
Scotch rocks.
113
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,092
Nice lookin' crowd.
It's not really my scene.
114
00:06:08,217 --> 00:06:10,289
- You don't date?
- Not old people.
115
00:06:11,259 --> 00:06:14,066
- You will someday.
- I'll {probably }do like a Michael Douglas thing.{, ya know?}
116
00:06:14,191 --> 00:06:15,749
Grab some young hottie.
117
00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:17,558
Ah, so you're an actor.
118
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:21,730
But not really a Michael Douglas type.
I'm more of a Colin Farrell, ya know?
119
00:06:21,855 --> 00:06:23,655
Dangerous, yet vulnerable.
120
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,972
- {Well, }If doesn't work out...
- It'll work out.
121
00:06:27,288 --> 00:06:29,324
- But if it doesn'T.
- It will.
122
00:06:29,449 --> 00:06:32,019
Yeah, but if it doesn't,
this might be you in 40 years.
123
00:06:33,321 --> 00:06:34,321
But,
124
00:06:34,563 --> 00:06:35,655
why bother?
125
00:06:36,141 --> 00:06:39,359
I don't mean to be rude but, isn't
everything all dried up and limp anyway?
126
00:06:40,385 --> 00:06:41,385
Kid,
127
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,280
this is the 21st century.
128
00:06:48,109 --> 00:06:50,720
Hey, okay so this is a text message.
129
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:53,468
So there's like grammatical
issues or whatever but,
130
00:06:53,593 --> 00:06:55,864
bottom line: "Btm line"
131
00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:01,359
"so-called career = chldsh blshit,"
132
00:07:01,484 --> 00:07:04,284
which I... I'm assuming
is childish bullshit.
133
00:07:04,987 --> 00:07:07,696
"If give fck anything
134
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,020
but yrself, buy...
135
00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:12,184
tket..." I don't even know.
136
00:07:13,455 --> 00:07:14,591
Buy ticket.
137
00:07:15,283 --> 00:07:17,478
Oh, yeah like a ticket to Vermont.
138
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,603
Right.
139
00:07:19,989 --> 00:07:21,593
- Yikes.
- Really?
140
00:07:22,106 --> 00:07:25,277
Is it... Yeah I mean is that...
dickish actually.
141
00:07:25,756 --> 00:07:28,731
Because I've been trying to think,
like maybe he's right.
142
00:07:28,856 --> 00:07:31,206
And I'm wrong, ya know?
Like maybe he's a good guy
143
00:07:31,331 --> 00:07:33,902
and I'm just the asshole who's
breaking up the whole marriage.
144
00:07:34,027 --> 00:07:36,219
Of... I at first
thought I was the...
145
00:07:36,344 --> 00:07:39,002
The good guy,
but I... I dunno. I really... I...
146
00:07:39,842 --> 00:07:41,435
I... I don't even know.
147
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,560
Okay.
148
00:07:45,427 --> 00:07:47,037
Splitsville man, for sure.
149
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,621
- You think?
- It's in her body language.
150
00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:51,246
I can read her body.
151
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,726
She's back on the market man
if you're thinking about having a go,
152
00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:56,151
get in line bro.
153
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,637
Whoa, there's a line?
154
00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:01,587
I'm ahead of you 'cause
you're the new guy.
155
00:08:01,712 --> 00:08:02,862
Alright good.
156
00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:06,187
- Didn't know you were into her, so...
- She's alright.
157
00:08:06,312 --> 00:08:08,162
She's not the hottest girl,
158
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,572
but I'm not the kinda guy
who's gonna be like,
159
00:08:10,697 --> 00:08:12,588
she's... ya know,
her brain is a nine.
160
00:08:12,713 --> 00:08:14,121
What about her tits?
161
00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:18,081
I mean don't get me wrong,
she's got nice tits.
162
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,335
I'd give them a 6.
And her face is decent.
163
00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:21,993
I give that a 6 or a 7.
164
00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:24,723
Body, go to the gym.
Once in a while,
165
00:08:25,024 --> 00:08:28,679
tone up the stomach.
Overall right now, a 6 or a 7 body.
166
00:08:29,116 --> 00:08:31,076
Eyes are really nice but
167
00:08:31,722 --> 00:08:34,422
ya know, some makeup
would be nice to kinda
168
00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:37,102
bring them out a little bit more.
169
00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,408
And then her hair, brown, nice.
170
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:42,015
Like the brown carpet.
171
00:08:42,658 --> 00:08:43,900
I prefer linoleum.
172
00:08:44,162 --> 00:08:46,039
But I-- overall it's a 6.8.
173
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,918
6.9. 6.8,
174
00:08:49,043 --> 00:08:50,043
6.8.9.
175
00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:52,202
That's what I'd say.
176
00:08:53,037 --> 00:08:55,037
That guy gets you up and ready
177
00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:56,327
right away.
178
00:08:56,591 --> 00:08:59,466
These guys, more
of a mellow all day style.
179
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,595
These babies take care
of the aches and pains.
180
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,640
This shit's practically
straight speed.
181
00:09:04,765 --> 00:09:07,174
Keep the right balance, dude,
I'm a teenager.
182
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:08,813
That is amazing.
183
00:09:09,693 --> 00:09:12,262
And that one right
there is the insta-boner?
184
00:09:17,496 --> 00:09:19,846
You think I could keep one of those?
185
00:09:26,623 --> 00:09:28,470
- For shizzle.
- For shizzle.
186
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,032
Anything useful?
187
00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:33,700
Yeah, I bet you don't know
what the biggest sexual organ is.
188
00:09:33,869 --> 00:09:36,504
- Well that would be my throbbing...
- brain.
189
00:09:36,629 --> 00:09:39,300
- It's your brain.
- Exactly, my throbbing five inch brain.
190
00:09:39,425 --> 00:09:41,930
- Five inch brain? What?
- Circulating.
191
00:09:46,215 --> 00:09:47,215
Constance!
192
00:09:47,452 --> 00:09:48,477
I'm sorry?
193
00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:50,598
Constance Carmell!
194
00:09:51,387 --> 00:09:52,460
Oh honey, think!
195
00:09:52,585 --> 00:09:54,471
Cabo, every night tequila
196
00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:57,164
and a new page from the karma sutra.
197
00:09:57,628 --> 00:10:00,321
- David.
- No, how about...
198
00:10:01,332 --> 00:10:03,438
"you're the only man
I ever let go up there."
199
00:10:04,593 --> 00:10:06,329
Jeffrey, Todd, T-Bone...
200
00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:09,454
No, hold on. You can't have
forgotten about this.
201
00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,544
- I don't know. Bruce.
- Yes.
202
00:10:15,466 --> 00:10:17,045
Bruce Wingstreet!
203
00:10:17,219 --> 00:10:19,165
Bruce Nesbitt.
Bruce Nesbitt!
204
00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:21,289
- Yeah.
- Oh my gosh.
205
00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:23,808
What happened to your face?
206
00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:28,058
Nothing. It's been 25 years,
I got a line or two.
207
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:30,841
It's been 25 years huh?
208
00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:33,356
Honey, you look great.
209
00:10:33,481 --> 00:10:35,081
Can I buy you a drink?
210
00:10:37,016 --> 00:10:39,456
No personal business
on company pond.
211
00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:45,893
Rough out there.
212
00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:47,192
Got any tips?
213
00:10:51,591 --> 00:10:53,048
Can I get you anything?
214
00:10:53,173 --> 00:10:55,824
I just got hit on by one
of the creepy old freaks.
215
00:10:57,272 --> 00:10:59,297
- Whatcha doin'?
- Revenge.
216
00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:01,172
I'm getting back at Roman.
217
00:11:01,297 --> 00:11:02,797
Poison?
Boner pill.
218
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,621
- Hey Kyle.
- Hey man what's up.
219
00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:07,891
Lady in the pantsuit said
she'd give you a blow-j
220
00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:10,866
in the back of her buick skylark.
Even take out her teeth.
221
00:11:10,991 --> 00:11:12,924
Give me a ginger ale. I'm parched.
222
00:11:13,093 --> 00:11:14,241
It's rough out there,
223
00:11:14,366 --> 00:11:17,366
fella's just trying
to get some bartender advise.
224
00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:21,048
Geez mister, I dunno. It's not exactly
our scene, is it fellas?
225
00:11:21,173 --> 00:11:23,723
- My advise, matlock.
- I did a matlock.
226
00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:26,822
You ever play a corpse?
Character with no life?
227
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,861
Not allowed to breathe,
can't even move?
228
00:11:28,986 --> 00:11:30,753
- That's a challenge.
- Amazing.
229
00:11:30,878 --> 00:11:33,528
- So you're an actress.
- Wipe your mouth.
230
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:42,425
Listen, my advise to you
would be leave us alone. Okay?
231
00:11:42,891 --> 00:11:44,362
Leave us alone.
232
00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:48,790
Sorry about her.
233
00:11:49,061 --> 00:11:51,161
Where the fuck is my ginger ale?
234
00:11:51,312 --> 00:11:53,605
- Here you go, sorry about that.
- Sweet, real speedy.
235
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:54,730
Dick.
236
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,478
Bad back.
237
00:12:14,712 --> 00:12:16,983
Rolled my horse
on the beach in phuket.
238
00:12:17,108 --> 00:12:18,188
Scotch.
239
00:12:18,978 --> 00:12:21,561
Sounds a lot more fun than
how I screwed up my back.
240
00:12:21,686 --> 00:12:24,337
I'd share but it was my last one.
241
00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:28,816
Unless you go for
the all natural stuff.
242
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,391
Why yes I do.
243
00:12:32,847 --> 00:12:35,409
- Hey Henry, what's up?
- Not much, just...
244
00:12:35,534 --> 00:12:38,176
- just headed to the John.
- Drop the deuce.
245
00:12:41,847 --> 00:12:44,891
Just, actually meeting
a man who offered me some pot.
246
00:12:45,156 --> 00:12:47,036
Oh hey, I could really use a mellow.
247
00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:49,800
Let me get rid of this and I'll meet you
in the little boy's in a couple.
248
00:12:49,925 --> 00:12:52,255
I dunno, you know, I don't really...
249
00:12:54,781 --> 00:12:56,519
So you flamed out huh?
250
00:12:56,644 --> 00:12:58,344
Acting thing was a bust.
251
00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:00,882
Total bust, yeah yeah.
252
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,073
Total...
253
00:13:04,148 --> 00:13:05,435
complete fuckin' bust.
254
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,110
Money, celebrity,
who wants the trouble?
255
00:13:08,346 --> 00:13:11,543
Why do you think you don't see
old dudes like me trying to be famous?
256
00:13:12,537 --> 00:13:14,273
- We know better.
- Okay.
257
00:13:14,398 --> 00:13:17,257
There's really only four things
in life that are important.
258
00:13:17,718 --> 00:13:19,168
You got friendship,
259
00:13:20,705 --> 00:13:21,705
Love.
260
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,032
Sex, bada bing,
261
00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:27,642
- that's why I come to these things.
- That's only three things.
262
00:13:28,277 --> 00:13:29,532
Oh yeah, shit.
263
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,480
I forgot the other one.
264
00:13:32,787 --> 00:13:33,837
Is it work?
265
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,956
Like uh, career?
266
00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:39,617
No, it's a really big one.
267
00:13:40,074 --> 00:13:41,752
Let's get high!
268
00:13:51,746 --> 00:13:54,346
Hey, Ron wants you
to tuck your shirt in.
269
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:56,492
{What, }You don't wanna tuck it in?
270
00:13:56,617 --> 00:13:58,967
- What's your problem?
- Tuck it in.
271
00:13:59,668 --> 00:14:00,668
Happy?
272
00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:06,484
Queerbot, what the...
273
00:14:07,075 --> 00:14:08,802
it is exciting.
Right?
274
00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:12,075
Yeah! Oh, are you kidding me?
I get to travel,
275
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,986
I meet new people, everyday is new.
276
00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:18,827
I finally, without a man,
277
00:14:19,128 --> 00:14:21,658
living the life
I've always wanted to live.
278
00:14:21,783 --> 00:14:23,700
And it's not like you're
{just }some piece of furniture
279
00:14:23,825 --> 00:14:25,734
that he moves from
the old {house }to the new house.
280
00:14:25,859 --> 00:14:28,328
- Right. Right.
- Yeah. I mean it should like that.
281
00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:29,788
{You know, }You should live your life.
282
00:14:29,913 --> 00:14:33,125
You should write your name
on the earth in gasoline
283
00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,251
and just like light
that shit on fire.
284
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:38,024
- Yes, yes! It's our right!
- It is our right!
285
00:14:38,149 --> 00:14:41,199
We should grab it,
we should seize it, it's ours.
286
00:14:42,324 --> 00:14:44,547
Have you ever given this
speech to somebody before
287
00:14:44,672 --> 00:14:46,540
and they like did exactly
what you're saying
288
00:14:46,665 --> 00:14:49,415
and then it totally
ruined their whole life?
289
00:14:55,403 --> 00:14:56,917
Shoot, I'm on!
290
00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,601
Alright. Okay bye.
291
00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:04,699
I... okay.
292
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,952
Remember the wrap party for
hooper where the stunt guy
293
00:15:09,121 --> 00:15:11,408
Jumped off the roof into the pool.
294
00:15:13,318 --> 00:15:16,218
You know what happened?
You know what happened?
295
00:15:17,279 --> 00:15:19,517
Yeah, s he jumped in the pool.
296
00:15:19,805 --> 00:15:21,405
He jumped in the pool.
297
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,332
Fractured his skull.
298
00:15:25,803 --> 00:15:27,137
That sounds horrible.
299
00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:29,675
Did we mention he was naked?
300
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,500
He was completely naked.
301
00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:34,475
That sounds...
that still sounds horrible.
302
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,965
Oh my god it was so hilarious.
303
00:15:38,090 --> 00:15:39,793
And the coke was so good back then.
304
00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:42,019
Remember? {I mean }The shit
they're snorting today, my god.
305
00:15:42,144 --> 00:15:44,572
It's like baby formula.
Come on, why bother?
306
00:15:44,697 --> 00:15:47,480
It's like having a strong
cup of coffee or something. You know?
307
00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:49,552
Big freakin' deal.
308
00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:52,745
Do you remember when
we did it in the phone booth?
309
00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:55,990
Do you remember
that we were in glass
310
00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:58,215
and that everybody could see in.
311
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,018
Or the time we did it in the yard
312
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,046
- when I broke my hand?
- You broke your hand!
313
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,021
- It was crazy!
- Plaster all over both of us.
314
00:16:05,146 --> 00:16:08,296
- {We did... }We had sex in some insane places.
- Insane.
315
00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,889
- And it was so much fun.
- It was so much fun.
316
00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:12,794
I had a good time.
It was a good time.
317
00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:16,369
Henry, what is the craziest place
that you ever made love?
318
00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:19,763
A bed.
319
00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:23,604
- What'd he say?
- Bed.
320
00:16:23,729 --> 00:16:25,349
What... what'd we ask him?
321
00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,999
I don't know.
322
00:16:27,506 --> 00:16:29,058
What do you say Connie,
323
00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:33,160
when you get off let's say
we take this party back to my place.
324
00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:35,333
I dunno.
325
00:16:39,293 --> 00:16:40,993
I don't think I want to.
326
00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:43,683
I have to go to the bathroom.
327
00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:48,352
Harsh.
328
00:16:49,371 --> 00:16:50,529
Harsh.
329
00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:00,521
- I didn't really go.
- I know.
330
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:08,613
Scotch.
331
00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:10,782
Man, I do not get women.
332
00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:13,952
Dude, you said that pill
gives you an instant boner.
333
00:17:14,497 --> 00:17:16,132
It's not like pushing a button.
334
00:17:16,257 --> 00:17:18,857
Still need the right
mood and everything.
335
00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:20,250
Or is that gay?
336
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:23,114
To you kids, everything's gay now.
337
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,037
Shit, I am high as a kite.
338
00:17:25,162 --> 00:17:27,412
Give me that, I gotta even my keel.
339
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:34,016
I don't see why you couldn't at least
give him your number.
340
00:17:34,141 --> 00:17:35,556
He's old.
341
00:17:36,169 --> 00:17:38,919
- Well, how old are you?
- What do you mean?
342
00:17:41,399 --> 00:17:42,230
In years.
343
00:17:43,617 --> 00:17:46,831
You're as young as you feel Henry
and I feel super.
344
00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:50,966
What are you, like 48?
345
00:17:51,948 --> 00:17:55,283
Okay, well you did it
on the set of hooper.
346
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,828
That was 30 years ago.
347
00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,848
Don't remind me.
348
00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,805
But if you're as young as you feel
349
00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,672
and so is he,
350
00:18:03,973 --> 00:18:05,639
and you guys
351
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,168
both feel the way you did
30 years ago
352
00:18:09,293 --> 00:18:11,884
when you had
a great time together, then...
353
00:18:12,169 --> 00:18:13,419
aren't you both
354
00:18:14,874 --> 00:18:17,403
still like the same person?
355
00:18:17,952 --> 00:18:19,002
Wait, what?
356
00:18:20,061 --> 00:18:22,311
- What?
- I don't know, I'm sorry.
357
00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:24,612
I'm so fuckin' high.
358
00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:27,895
It's just...
359
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:31,350
I wish I had someone that...
360
00:18:32,854 --> 00:18:35,491
I got along
with the way you guys get along.
361
00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:41,388
There are four things
that are important in life.
362
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:44,513
Friendship, love and sex.
363
00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:46,530
- What's the fourth one?
- What?
364
00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:49,405
What's the fourth one,
you said there was...
365
00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:56,471
What are you...
366
00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:00,058
What are you do...
Is that pot?
367
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:03,019
My god it stinks like pot in here,
what are you doing?
368
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:04,656
Pot.
369
00:19:05,122 --> 00:19:06,222
Smoking pot.
370
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,400
God dammit,
what happened to the new Henry?
371
00:19:10,936 --> 00:19:11,936
Now I...
372
00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:14,447
Shirt smells like pot.
373
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,959
Okay, you know what?
374
00:19:22,426 --> 00:19:24,276
I'm not gonna bust you guys
375
00:19:24,701 --> 00:19:26,459
for smoking pot on the job.
376
00:19:26,628 --> 00:19:29,288
Even though I should,
because it's really wrong.
377
00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:31,185
Okay, this is me, Ron.
378
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:34,245
Giving you two
a little straight talk.
379
00:19:34,370 --> 00:19:36,928
You're aware that I used to party
pretty hard, right?
380
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,207
Oh, yeah.
381
00:19:38,332 --> 00:19:40,873
- Yeah, you made a bong out of cheese.
- Oh my gosh.
382
00:19:40,998 --> 00:19:44,284
I wanna show you something.
Four years ago, I vowed to get straight.
383
00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,604
I put this in my wallet
as a constant reminder.
384
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:55,624
- I don't know what I'm looking at here.
- You don't...
385
00:19:55,749 --> 00:19:58,599
Do you remember
my party buddy Kevin Cathcart?
386
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,556
That's where his foot used to be.
387
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,480
So pot made his foot fall off?
388
00:20:06,463 --> 00:20:08,084
He became an alcoholic,
389
00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:10,355
mixed gin and percoset
on his way to work,
390
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,131
he crashed the company van
into a tree and lost his foot.
391
00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:14,286
God.
392
00:20:14,411 --> 00:20:17,565
- Where does pot fit in?
- He smoked a lot of pot!
393
00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:19,195
That's a leg?
394
00:20:19,973 --> 00:20:22,194
Made footless.
By pot.
395
00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:25,643
Get it?
396
00:20:28,776 --> 00:20:29,926
Give me this.
397
00:20:32,420 --> 00:20:33,620
Straight talk.
398
00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:41,881
Thanks, Ron.
399
00:20:49,211 --> 00:20:50,434
Oh, hello.
400
00:20:51,671 --> 00:20:54,557
- Are you here for something?
- Working the event, like you.
401
00:20:54,682 --> 00:20:56,507
- That the men's room?
- Why?
402
00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,276
What do you mean, why?
403
00:20:58,861 --> 00:20:59,816
Why...
404
00:20:59,941 --> 00:21:03,295
I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
I didn't stink up the place ya know,
405
00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,240
not my thing when I'm working
406
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,817
but there's an old guy
in there and...
407
00:21:08,251 --> 00:21:11,355
he has some bowel problems
and he can't see so it's...
408
00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:14,229
Quite frankly,
it's a little messy in there.
409
00:21:14,354 --> 00:21:16,605
I'd use the bathroom
down the hallway.
410
00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:17,880
It's not far.
411
00:21:19,164 --> 00:21:20,164
So.
412
00:21:25,025 --> 00:21:28,007
Seniors, god what a word, huh?
413
00:21:29,751 --> 00:21:33,390
But maybe, it's because
we're just not looking at it right.
414
00:21:34,658 --> 00:21:35,658
Sexy!
415
00:21:38,176 --> 00:21:40,593
That's right, that's right!
Okay, that's good.
416
00:21:40,762 --> 00:21:42,762
But you know,
you guys won't admit it
417
00:21:42,931 --> 00:21:45,356
because you think
that once you get older
418
00:21:45,481 --> 00:21:47,481
you have to act all dignified.
419
00:21:47,727 --> 00:21:48,739
Yes, sir.
420
00:21:49,020 --> 00:21:51,820
How am I supposed to be sexy?
If I can't even stand up!
421
00:21:51,945 --> 00:21:53,496
I'm glad you asked.
422
00:21:54,036 --> 00:21:56,486
If you read chapter nine,
"Sexy time",
423
00:21:56,954 --> 00:21:59,694
you'd know
that your biggest sex organ,
424
00:22:00,045 --> 00:22:01,925
and I don't care who you are,
425
00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:03,157
is your brain.
426
00:22:03,559 --> 00:22:05,219
That's where it starts.
427
00:22:28,488 --> 00:22:31,419
Think of how exciting it was to be in
school and have those nervous feelings,
428
00:22:31,544 --> 00:22:34,108
and who wouldn't want
to go back to high school!
429
00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:36,606
Yes, are there any questions?
430
00:22:38,665 --> 00:22:39,731
You again.
431
00:22:40,632 --> 00:22:41,609
Yes sir?
432
00:22:41,734 --> 00:22:44,334
Isn't this whole thing
kinda undignified?
433
00:22:44,459 --> 00:22:45,913
You know what Fred?
434
00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,578
What I really think
you need to do is loosen up.
435
00:22:49,195 --> 00:22:50,595
She's right, Fred.
436
00:22:50,915 --> 00:22:54,665
You need to loosen up a little.
You should listen to your nurse.
437
00:22:56,573 --> 00:23:00,352
Oh, my god!
I told you there would be surprises!
438
00:23:02,579 --> 00:23:05,579
Bet you're all wishing
you had a nurse like this.
439
00:23:30,858 --> 00:23:33,328
So, I just got really high,
440
00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:35,563
and I had the weirdest
fucking thing happen.
441
00:23:35,688 --> 00:23:37,288
I'm getting a divorce.
442
00:23:37,906 --> 00:23:38,956
Oh my gosh.
443
00:24:03,822 --> 00:24:06,172
Bullshit!
Oh my gosh. Cut the music!
444
00:24:10,801 --> 00:24:12,088
Nurse.
445
00:24:12,213 --> 00:24:13,983
What are you... What's happening?
446
00:24:14,108 --> 00:24:16,508
She's not a nurse.
Now, do something!
447
00:24:17,766 --> 00:24:19,296
What's all the commotion?
448
00:24:19,421 --> 00:24:22,463
Officer. We got a man down,
and this woman is not a nurse.
449
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:27,385
I took a class! I took a class,
we'll do a two man version
450
00:24:27,554 --> 00:24:30,472
you're gonna do the back, you're gonna
breathe and whatever that entails,
451
00:24:30,597 --> 00:24:32,056
and I'm gonna smush the heart.
452
00:24:32,299 --> 00:24:34,446
- Oh, shit! Is he dead?
- What?
453
00:24:35,448 --> 00:24:38,062
Listen, listen to me!
This is what you were trained for!
454
00:24:41,630 --> 00:24:43,341
He's a stripper.
They're both strippers.
455
00:24:43,466 --> 00:24:45,316
- Do something!
- Doctor?!
456
00:24:45,732 --> 00:24:48,739
- Is someone here a doctor?
- Is anybody a doctor?
457
00:24:49,006 --> 00:24:50,406
There's no doctor!
458
00:24:50,618 --> 00:24:53,035
- You took the class.
- Come on, do it, do it, do it.
459
00:24:53,623 --> 00:24:56,373
It's a series of breaths
and compressions...
460
00:24:57,045 --> 00:25:00,042
- 15 to two ratio.
- That's right, 15 to two ratio.
461
00:25:00,211 --> 00:25:02,809
- Here we go.
- I was a girl scout. Come on.
462
00:25:02,934 --> 00:25:04,384
It's okay, come on.
463
00:25:08,242 --> 00:25:09,093
One.
464
00:25:09,780 --> 00:25:10,780
Two.
465
00:25:11,796 --> 00:25:12,796
Three.
466
00:25:13,486 --> 00:25:15,725
It's the other way around!
Just two breaths.
467
00:25:15,894 --> 00:25:17,685
No, you can't tell me that now!
468
00:25:17,853 --> 00:25:20,736
- Two breaths, two breaths.
- Bruce, no don't be dead!
469
00:25:20,861 --> 00:25:22,484
Bruce, please don't be dead.
470
00:25:22,609 --> 00:25:25,299
Oh, please Bruce!
Bruce, please live!
471
00:25:25,424 --> 00:25:27,985
I'm too young! You can't die!
472
00:25:28,334 --> 00:25:30,240
Bruce, please, please.
473
00:25:30,365 --> 00:25:32,697
Live, dammit, you bastard!
474
00:25:33,927 --> 00:25:35,277
Okay, that's one.
475
00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:46,172
Is this part of the seminar?
476
00:25:47,888 --> 00:25:51,027
Yes it is.
Yes, it's part of the seminar.
477
00:25:51,612 --> 00:25:54,662
You see, you gotta be prepared,
you gotta be sexy!
478
00:25:56,932 --> 00:25:58,834
Seniorlicious!
479
00:26:00,401 --> 00:26:01,801
Tell your friends!
480
00:26:03,304 --> 00:26:05,192
Sorry, I thought
this was the men's room.
481
00:26:05,317 --> 00:26:06,317
It's not.
482
00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:20,648
And again service...
Knock it off!
483
00:26:21,238 --> 00:26:23,888
Excellent.
Can't get any higher than that.
484
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,212
Where've you been?
485
00:26:26,381 --> 00:26:28,339
Guess what?
The bar's not gonna pack itself.
486
00:26:28,619 --> 00:26:30,354
Where's Constance?
487
00:26:31,778 --> 00:26:33,665
See you later, then.
488
00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:36,184
See you later.
489
00:26:40,019 --> 00:26:42,603
- Hey Casey, grab those boxes for me.
- Yep.
490
00:26:43,011 --> 00:26:44,011
Calm down.
491
00:26:47,050 --> 00:26:49,611
Casey, I just wanted to say
that we heard
492
00:26:49,736 --> 00:26:52,953
what's happening in your personal life
with your marriage and stuff,
493
00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:56,178
I wanted to let you know
that if you need anything,
494
00:26:56,625 --> 00:26:59,072
someone to talk to, you know,
maybe you just need a hug.
495
00:26:59,197 --> 00:27:01,647
- Come here.
- So ni... Thanks, Roman.
496
00:27:05,628 --> 00:27:06,828
What the fuck?
497
00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:10,384
Fuck look, I... That...
498
00:27:10,509 --> 00:27:13,309
- Is that real... Okay, sure.
- In my pocket.
499
00:27:15,618 --> 00:27:16,595
Fuck.
500
00:27:17,155 --> 00:27:18,605
Snap, motherfucker!
501
00:27:20,727 --> 00:27:24,731
Subtitles: Are You having Fun Team
--==All-about-Subs.fr / Sub-Way.fr==--
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