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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,777 --> 00:00:21,318 Dude, this is gonna be so awesome. 2 00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:23,640 - What's gonna be awesome? - Single mixer. 3 00:00:23,765 --> 00:00:26,365 - Roomful of lonely ladies! - And fellas. 4 00:00:26,715 --> 00:00:27,988 Fish in a barrel, man. 5 00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:30,407 We are all getting way laid, right? 6 00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:31,661 Oh, good. 7 00:00:31,786 --> 00:00:34,200 Really, last time this guy hooked up with one girl, 8 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,625 hour later, hooked up with her twin. 9 00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:38,094 And twins! 10 00:00:38,426 --> 00:00:41,265 Actually I figured out later it was {just }the same girl who put a sweater on. 11 00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:43,184 - I see. - Okay people? 12 00:00:43,473 --> 00:00:45,835 What do I say? What do I say all the time? 13 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,610 No personal business... 14 00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:49,342 on... 15 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:51,853 - company... - Property. 16 00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:53,278 - Pond. - Time. 17 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,293 - What the fuck is this? - It's like a nightmare dream sequence. 18 00:01:22,462 --> 00:01:24,687 Am I the only one who thinks this is like, really wrong? 19 00:01:24,812 --> 00:01:25,862 Wrong, how? 20 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:29,307 I dunno, all these old people cruisin' around, trying to fuck each other. 21 00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:31,480 {Well }They're probably divorced, or widowed 22 00:01:31,605 --> 00:01:33,887 and haven't been single in a while, they need something. 23 00:01:34,058 --> 00:01:35,606 So play cribbage. 24 00:01:35,785 --> 00:01:38,629 My grandma is not for cruising around like a skank. 25 00:01:38,754 --> 00:01:41,409 Those hands, veins, and spots. 26 00:01:42,794 --> 00:01:45,244 - Groping each other all over. - Yuck! 27 00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:49,735 Wrinkled parts pounding against wrinkled parts. 28 00:01:51,104 --> 00:01:52,162 They're flirting. 29 00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:54,976 {I mean }Seriously lady, that guy's scrotum has got to be like three feet long. 30 00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,764 Two eggs in a tube sock. 31 00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:59,393 - I mean, could he even get it up? - Nah, they just... 32 00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:02,616 wag it around till it shoots little puffs of dust. 33 00:02:02,794 --> 00:02:03,794 Sick. 34 00:02:04,942 --> 00:02:08,942 Why is everything an ultimatum? Like, that's what I don't understand. 35 00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:11,563 Yeah because I'm finishing my show, you know that. 36 00:02:11,688 --> 00:02:14,438 And I have those aud... i do have auditions! 37 00:02:17,048 --> 00:02:19,469 Look I don't know, okay? So I have to go, okay? 38 00:02:19,594 --> 00:02:21,944 Can I... can I please call you back? 39 00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:23,452 Thank you. 40 00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,312 Kyle is looking for you. 41 00:02:30,437 --> 00:02:31,437 Doubtful. 42 00:02:31,828 --> 00:02:35,657 {I mean }He's still fuckin' crying about the fact that he shaved off his eyebrow 43 00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:37,576 - and fucked up that audition. - Okay. 44 00:02:38,782 --> 00:02:42,206 You know, I mean he shaved his own eyebrow. He had the clippers. 45 00:02:45,254 --> 00:02:47,154 So what's going on with you? 46 00:02:48,262 --> 00:02:50,851 Hey, we up for tonight? Henry. Smiles? 47 00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:52,945 I'm smiling ron, new me. 48 00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:54,939 I love it, the new Henry. 49 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,565 Good. 50 00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:59,053 Okay. Remember no staring. 51 00:02:59,332 --> 00:03:01,312 Okay, they're just a bunch of old people 52 00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:04,098 just doing the best they can. So don't stare. Just... 53 00:03:04,223 --> 00:03:07,487 pretend they're not there. Do our job and pretend they're not there. 54 00:03:07,612 --> 00:03:09,412 Ron, you're kinda staring. 55 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,720 Old people freak me out. 56 00:03:14,845 --> 00:03:16,990 - Have you ever seen it? - Seen... seen what? 57 00:03:17,306 --> 00:03:18,306 Them. 58 00:03:18,436 --> 00:03:19,436 Doing... 59 00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:22,465 - it. - Have you? 60 00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,431 Disney world, I was eight years old. 61 00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:28,598 I got sick, I went back to my hotel. 62 00:03:28,723 --> 00:03:31,074 Walked in on my grandparents, they didn't notice. 63 00:03:31,199 --> 00:03:32,645 They just kept... 64 00:03:33,615 --> 00:03:36,545 their mouths... and... their hands, 65 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:38,756 it was like watching a mummy battle. 66 00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:41,260 - Two whites and an old fashioned. - What's like a mummy battle? 67 00:03:41,385 --> 00:03:43,308 - His grandparent's fucking. - Don'T. 68 00:03:43,759 --> 00:03:44,759 Don'T. 69 00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,318 Go circulate. 70 00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,308 Why would you... 71 00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:51,775 please make me a vodka. 72 00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:53,902 Coming right up. Check this out. 73 00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:56,191 Got something going on here. 74 00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,325 Look at that, where'd you get those new moves? 75 00:04:00,609 --> 00:04:03,377 {Well, }As I sat in my studio apartment last night 76 00:04:03,502 --> 00:04:05,202 trying to decide between 77 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,538 falling asleep on the couch or walking the four feet to the bed, 78 00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,839 a show came on about this cop 79 00:04:11,964 --> 00:04:15,269 and how this slasher killed his entire family. 80 00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:18,000 Okay... with his whole life shattered, 81 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,370 this guy became like a super cop. 82 00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:22,611 Ya know? So I thought, 83 00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:26,910 I should do that. Let the job fill my emptiness. 84 00:04:27,035 --> 00:04:29,630 This job? Are you talking about this job or becoming a super cop? 85 00:04:29,755 --> 00:04:32,973 'Cause listen, I watch the shield. I don't {really }see you lasting on the streets. 86 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:36,348 - No I meant bartending. - Bartending, well thank god. 87 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:41,190 You doing okay? 88 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,535 Sorry to hear that. 89 00:04:47,835 --> 00:04:49,960 - You are super bartender. - Told you. 90 00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:51,293 Hello everyone! 91 00:04:51,835 --> 00:04:53,385 I'm Pepper Mcmasters! 92 00:04:58,158 --> 00:05:00,609 Welcome to seniorlicous! 93 00:05:05,623 --> 00:05:06,848 If you read my book, 94 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,926 you know that we're gonna take your single senior life 95 00:05:10,051 --> 00:05:11,563 and add a little pepper. 96 00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:16,590 Because love and romance isn't just for kids, is it? 97 00:05:16,715 --> 00:05:18,851 No, no, no. Well all need it, 98 00:05:18,976 --> 00:05:20,576 and we all can get it! 99 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,281 Absolutely! 100 00:05:24,648 --> 00:05:26,763 So our presentation will begin shortly, 101 00:05:26,888 --> 00:05:29,638 but ya know, in the meantime just loosen up, 102 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,133 live a little, 103 00:05:31,258 --> 00:05:33,658 and, get ready for a surprise or two. 104 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,549 - Surprises? - Surprises, they're coming. 105 00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:46,116 Hey Roman, congrats man. 106 00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:48,314 I heard that George Lucas {totally }loved your script, 107 00:05:48,439 --> 00:05:50,426 - everyone's talking about it. - {Yeah, }First of all 108 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,691 I told no one about that little message you left me. 109 00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:55,340 Second, everyone knows Lucas is kiddy bullshit. 110 00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:56,733 I'm hard sci-fi. 111 00:05:57,404 --> 00:06:00,946 And never the twain shall meet. Kick ass revenge bro. Kick ass. 112 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,270 Scotch rocks. 113 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,092 Nice lookin' crowd. It's not really my scene. 114 00:06:08,217 --> 00:06:10,289 - You don't date? - Not old people. 115 00:06:11,259 --> 00:06:14,066 - You will someday. - I'll {probably }do like a Michael Douglas thing.{, ya know?} 116 00:06:14,191 --> 00:06:15,749 Grab some young hottie. 117 00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:17,558 Ah, so you're an actor. 118 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:21,730 But not really a Michael Douglas type. I'm more of a Colin Farrell, ya know? 119 00:06:21,855 --> 00:06:23,655 Dangerous, yet vulnerable. 120 00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,972 - {Well, }If doesn't work out... - It'll work out. 121 00:06:27,288 --> 00:06:29,324 - But if it doesn'T. - It will. 122 00:06:29,449 --> 00:06:32,019 Yeah, but if it doesn't, this might be you in 40 years. 123 00:06:33,321 --> 00:06:34,321 But, 124 00:06:34,563 --> 00:06:35,655 why bother? 125 00:06:36,141 --> 00:06:39,359 I don't mean to be rude but, isn't everything all dried up and limp anyway? 126 00:06:40,385 --> 00:06:41,385 Kid, 127 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,280 this is the 21st century. 128 00:06:48,109 --> 00:06:50,720 Hey, okay so this is a text message. 129 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:53,468 So there's like grammatical issues or whatever but, 130 00:06:53,593 --> 00:06:55,864 bottom line: "Btm line" 131 00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:01,359 "so-called career = chldsh blshit," 132 00:07:01,484 --> 00:07:04,284 which I... I'm assuming is childish bullshit. 133 00:07:04,987 --> 00:07:07,696 "If give fck anything 134 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,020 but yrself, buy... 135 00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:12,184 tket..." I don't even know. 136 00:07:13,455 --> 00:07:14,591 Buy ticket. 137 00:07:15,283 --> 00:07:17,478 Oh, yeah like a ticket to Vermont. 138 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,603 Right. 139 00:07:19,989 --> 00:07:21,593 - Yikes. - Really? 140 00:07:22,106 --> 00:07:25,277 Is it... Yeah I mean is that... dickish actually. 141 00:07:25,756 --> 00:07:28,731 Because I've been trying to think, like maybe he's right. 142 00:07:28,856 --> 00:07:31,206 And I'm wrong, ya know? Like maybe he's a good guy 143 00:07:31,331 --> 00:07:33,902 and I'm just the asshole who's breaking up the whole marriage. 144 00:07:34,027 --> 00:07:36,219 Of... I at first thought I was the... 145 00:07:36,344 --> 00:07:39,002 The good guy, but I... I dunno. I really... I... 146 00:07:39,842 --> 00:07:41,435 I... I don't even know. 147 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,560 Okay. 148 00:07:45,427 --> 00:07:47,037 Splitsville man, for sure. 149 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,621 - You think? - It's in her body language. 150 00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:51,246 I can read her body. 151 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,726 She's back on the market man if you're thinking about having a go, 152 00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:56,151 get in line bro. 153 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,637 Whoa, there's a line? 154 00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:01,587 I'm ahead of you 'cause you're the new guy. 155 00:08:01,712 --> 00:08:02,862 Alright good. 156 00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:06,187 - Didn't know you were into her, so... - She's alright. 157 00:08:06,312 --> 00:08:08,162 She's not the hottest girl, 158 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,572 but I'm not the kinda guy who's gonna be like, 159 00:08:10,697 --> 00:08:12,588 she's... ya know, her brain is a nine. 160 00:08:12,713 --> 00:08:14,121 What about her tits? 161 00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:18,081 I mean don't get me wrong, she's got nice tits. 162 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,335 I'd give them a 6. And her face is decent. 163 00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:21,993 I give that a 6 or a 7. 164 00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:24,723 Body, go to the gym. Once in a while, 165 00:08:25,024 --> 00:08:28,679 tone up the stomach. Overall right now, a 6 or a 7 body. 166 00:08:29,116 --> 00:08:31,076 Eyes are really nice but 167 00:08:31,722 --> 00:08:34,422 ya know, some makeup would be nice to kinda 168 00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:37,102 bring them out a little bit more. 169 00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,408 And then her hair, brown, nice. 170 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:42,015 Like the brown carpet. 171 00:08:42,658 --> 00:08:43,900 I prefer linoleum. 172 00:08:44,162 --> 00:08:46,039 But I-- overall it's a 6.8. 173 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,918 6.9. 6.8, 174 00:08:49,043 --> 00:08:50,043 6.8.9. 175 00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:52,202 That's what I'd say. 176 00:08:53,037 --> 00:08:55,037 That guy gets you up and ready 177 00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:56,327 right away. 178 00:08:56,591 --> 00:08:59,466 These guys, more of a mellow all day style. 179 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,595 These babies take care of the aches and pains. 180 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,640 This shit's practically straight speed. 181 00:09:04,765 --> 00:09:07,174 Keep the right balance, dude, I'm a teenager. 182 00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:08,813 That is amazing. 183 00:09:09,693 --> 00:09:12,262 And that one right there is the insta-boner? 184 00:09:17,496 --> 00:09:19,846 You think I could keep one of those? 185 00:09:26,623 --> 00:09:28,470 - For shizzle. - For shizzle. 186 00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,032 Anything useful? 187 00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:33,700 Yeah, I bet you don't know what the biggest sexual organ is. 188 00:09:33,869 --> 00:09:36,504 - Well that would be my throbbing... - brain. 189 00:09:36,629 --> 00:09:39,300 - It's your brain. - Exactly, my throbbing five inch brain. 190 00:09:39,425 --> 00:09:41,930 - Five inch brain? What? - Circulating. 191 00:09:46,215 --> 00:09:47,215 Constance! 192 00:09:47,452 --> 00:09:48,477 I'm sorry? 193 00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:50,598 Constance Carmell! 194 00:09:51,387 --> 00:09:52,460 Oh honey, think! 195 00:09:52,585 --> 00:09:54,471 Cabo, every night tequila 196 00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:57,164 and a new page from the karma sutra. 197 00:09:57,628 --> 00:10:00,321 - David. - No, how about... 198 00:10:01,332 --> 00:10:03,438 "you're the only man I ever let go up there." 199 00:10:04,593 --> 00:10:06,329 Jeffrey, Todd, T-Bone... 200 00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:09,454 No, hold on. You can't have forgotten about this. 201 00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,544 - I don't know. Bruce. - Yes. 202 00:10:15,466 --> 00:10:17,045 Bruce Wingstreet! 203 00:10:17,219 --> 00:10:19,165 Bruce Nesbitt. Bruce Nesbitt! 204 00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:21,289 - Yeah. - Oh my gosh. 205 00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:23,808 What happened to your face? 206 00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:28,058 Nothing. It's been 25 years, I got a line or two. 207 00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:30,841 It's been 25 years huh? 208 00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:33,356 Honey, you look great. 209 00:10:33,481 --> 00:10:35,081 Can I buy you a drink? 210 00:10:37,016 --> 00:10:39,456 No personal business on company pond. 211 00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:45,893 Rough out there. 212 00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:47,192 Got any tips? 213 00:10:51,591 --> 00:10:53,048 Can I get you anything? 214 00:10:53,173 --> 00:10:55,824 I just got hit on by one of the creepy old freaks. 215 00:10:57,272 --> 00:10:59,297 - Whatcha doin'? - Revenge. 216 00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:01,172 I'm getting back at Roman. 217 00:11:01,297 --> 00:11:02,797 Poison? Boner pill. 218 00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,621 - Hey Kyle. - Hey man what's up. 219 00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:07,891 Lady in the pantsuit said she'd give you a blow-j 220 00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:10,866 in the back of her buick skylark. Even take out her teeth. 221 00:11:10,991 --> 00:11:12,924 Give me a ginger ale. I'm parched. 222 00:11:13,093 --> 00:11:14,241 It's rough out there, 223 00:11:14,366 --> 00:11:17,366 fella's just trying to get some bartender advise. 224 00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:21,048 Geez mister, I dunno. It's not exactly our scene, is it fellas? 225 00:11:21,173 --> 00:11:23,723 - My advise, matlock. - I did a matlock. 226 00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:26,822 You ever play a corpse? Character with no life? 227 00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,861 Not allowed to breathe, can't even move? 228 00:11:28,986 --> 00:11:30,753 - That's a challenge. - Amazing. 229 00:11:30,878 --> 00:11:33,528 - So you're an actress. - Wipe your mouth. 230 00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:42,425 Listen, my advise to you would be leave us alone. Okay? 231 00:11:42,891 --> 00:11:44,362 Leave us alone. 232 00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:48,790 Sorry about her. 233 00:11:49,061 --> 00:11:51,161 Where the fuck is my ginger ale? 234 00:11:51,312 --> 00:11:53,605 - Here you go, sorry about that. - Sweet, real speedy. 235 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:54,730 Dick. 236 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,478 Bad back. 237 00:12:14,712 --> 00:12:16,983 Rolled my horse on the beach in phuket. 238 00:12:17,108 --> 00:12:18,188 Scotch. 239 00:12:18,978 --> 00:12:21,561 Sounds a lot more fun than how I screwed up my back. 240 00:12:21,686 --> 00:12:24,337 I'd share but it was my last one. 241 00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:28,816 Unless you go for the all natural stuff. 242 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,391 Why yes I do. 243 00:12:32,847 --> 00:12:35,409 - Hey Henry, what's up? - Not much, just... 244 00:12:35,534 --> 00:12:38,176 - just headed to the John. - Drop the deuce. 245 00:12:41,847 --> 00:12:44,891 Just, actually meeting a man who offered me some pot. 246 00:12:45,156 --> 00:12:47,036 Oh hey, I could really use a mellow. 247 00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:49,800 Let me get rid of this and I'll meet you in the little boy's in a couple. 248 00:12:49,925 --> 00:12:52,255 I dunno, you know, I don't really... 249 00:12:54,781 --> 00:12:56,519 So you flamed out huh? 250 00:12:56,644 --> 00:12:58,344 Acting thing was a bust. 251 00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:00,882 Total bust, yeah yeah. 252 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,073 Total... 253 00:13:04,148 --> 00:13:05,435 complete fuckin' bust. 254 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,110 Money, celebrity, who wants the trouble? 255 00:13:08,346 --> 00:13:11,543 Why do you think you don't see old dudes like me trying to be famous? 256 00:13:12,537 --> 00:13:14,273 - We know better. - Okay. 257 00:13:14,398 --> 00:13:17,257 There's really only four things in life that are important. 258 00:13:17,718 --> 00:13:19,168 You got friendship, 259 00:13:20,705 --> 00:13:21,705 Love. 260 00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,032 Sex, bada bing, 261 00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:27,642 - that's why I come to these things. - That's only three things. 262 00:13:28,277 --> 00:13:29,532 Oh yeah, shit. 263 00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,480 I forgot the other one. 264 00:13:32,787 --> 00:13:33,837 Is it work? 265 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,956 Like uh, career? 266 00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:39,617 No, it's a really big one. 267 00:13:40,074 --> 00:13:41,752 Let's get high! 268 00:13:51,746 --> 00:13:54,346 Hey, Ron wants you to tuck your shirt in. 269 00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:56,492 {What, }You don't wanna tuck it in? 270 00:13:56,617 --> 00:13:58,967 - What's your problem? - Tuck it in. 271 00:13:59,668 --> 00:14:00,668 Happy? 272 00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:06,484 Queerbot, what the... 273 00:14:07,075 --> 00:14:08,802 it is exciting. Right? 274 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:12,075 Yeah! Oh, are you kidding me? I get to travel, 275 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,986 I meet new people, everyday is new. 276 00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:18,827 I finally, without a man, 277 00:14:19,128 --> 00:14:21,658 living the life I've always wanted to live. 278 00:14:21,783 --> 00:14:23,700 And it's not like you're {just }some piece of furniture 279 00:14:23,825 --> 00:14:25,734 that he moves from the old {house }to the new house. 280 00:14:25,859 --> 00:14:28,328 - Right. Right. - Yeah. I mean it should like that. 281 00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:29,788 {You know, }You should live your life. 282 00:14:29,913 --> 00:14:33,125 You should write your name on the earth in gasoline 283 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,251 and just like light that shit on fire. 284 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:38,024 - Yes, yes! It's our right! - It is our right! 285 00:14:38,149 --> 00:14:41,199 We should grab it, we should seize it, it's ours. 286 00:14:42,324 --> 00:14:44,547 Have you ever given this speech to somebody before 287 00:14:44,672 --> 00:14:46,540 and they like did exactly what you're saying 288 00:14:46,665 --> 00:14:49,415 and then it totally ruined their whole life? 289 00:14:55,403 --> 00:14:56,917 Shoot, I'm on! 290 00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,601 Alright. Okay bye. 291 00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:04,699 I... okay. 292 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,952 Remember the wrap party for hooper where the stunt guy 293 00:15:09,121 --> 00:15:11,408 Jumped off the roof into the pool. 294 00:15:13,318 --> 00:15:16,218 You know what happened? You know what happened? 295 00:15:17,279 --> 00:15:19,517 Yeah, s he jumped in the pool. 296 00:15:19,805 --> 00:15:21,405 He jumped in the pool. 297 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,332 Fractured his skull. 298 00:15:25,803 --> 00:15:27,137 That sounds horrible. 299 00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:29,675 Did we mention he was naked? 300 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,500 He was completely naked. 301 00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:34,475 That sounds... that still sounds horrible. 302 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,965 Oh my god it was so hilarious. 303 00:15:38,090 --> 00:15:39,793 And the coke was so good back then. 304 00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:42,019 Remember? {I mean }The shit they're snorting today, my god. 305 00:15:42,144 --> 00:15:44,572 It's like baby formula. Come on, why bother? 306 00:15:44,697 --> 00:15:47,480 It's like having a strong cup of coffee or something. You know? 307 00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:49,552 Big freakin' deal. 308 00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:52,745 Do you remember when we did it in the phone booth? 309 00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:55,990 Do you remember that we were in glass 310 00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:58,215 and that everybody could see in. 311 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,018 Or the time we did it in the yard 312 00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,046 - when I broke my hand? - You broke your hand! 313 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,021 - It was crazy! - Plaster all over both of us. 314 00:16:05,146 --> 00:16:08,296 - {We did... }We had sex in some insane places. - Insane. 315 00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,889 - And it was so much fun. - It was so much fun. 316 00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:12,794 I had a good time. It was a good time. 317 00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:16,369 Henry, what is the craziest place that you ever made love? 318 00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:19,763 A bed. 319 00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:23,604 - What'd he say? - Bed. 320 00:16:23,729 --> 00:16:25,349 What... what'd we ask him? 321 00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,999 I don't know. 322 00:16:27,506 --> 00:16:29,058 What do you say Connie, 323 00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:33,160 when you get off let's say we take this party back to my place. 324 00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:35,333 I dunno. 325 00:16:39,293 --> 00:16:40,993 I don't think I want to. 326 00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:43,683 I have to go to the bathroom. 327 00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:48,352 Harsh. 328 00:16:49,371 --> 00:16:50,529 Harsh. 329 00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:00,521 - I didn't really go. - I know. 330 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:08,613 Scotch. 331 00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:10,782 Man, I do not get women. 332 00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:13,952 Dude, you said that pill gives you an instant boner. 333 00:17:14,497 --> 00:17:16,132 It's not like pushing a button. 334 00:17:16,257 --> 00:17:18,857 Still need the right mood and everything. 335 00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:20,250 Or is that gay? 336 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:23,114 To you kids, everything's gay now. 337 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,037 Shit, I am high as a kite. 338 00:17:25,162 --> 00:17:27,412 Give me that, I gotta even my keel. 339 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:34,016 I don't see why you couldn't at least give him your number. 340 00:17:34,141 --> 00:17:35,556 He's old. 341 00:17:36,169 --> 00:17:38,919 - Well, how old are you? - What do you mean? 342 00:17:41,399 --> 00:17:42,230 In years. 343 00:17:43,617 --> 00:17:46,831 You're as young as you feel Henry and I feel super. 344 00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:50,966 What are you, like 48? 345 00:17:51,948 --> 00:17:55,283 Okay, well you did it on the set of hooper. 346 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,828 That was 30 years ago. 347 00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,848 Don't remind me. 348 00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,805 But if you're as young as you feel 349 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,672 and so is he, 350 00:18:03,973 --> 00:18:05,639 and you guys 351 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,168 both feel the way you did 30 years ago 352 00:18:09,293 --> 00:18:11,884 when you had a great time together, then... 353 00:18:12,169 --> 00:18:13,419 aren't you both 354 00:18:14,874 --> 00:18:17,403 still like the same person? 355 00:18:17,952 --> 00:18:19,002 Wait, what? 356 00:18:20,061 --> 00:18:22,311 - What? - I don't know, I'm sorry. 357 00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:24,612 I'm so fuckin' high. 358 00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:27,895 It's just... 359 00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:31,350 I wish I had someone that... 360 00:18:32,854 --> 00:18:35,491 I got along with the way you guys get along. 361 00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:41,388 There are four things that are important in life. 362 00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:44,513 Friendship, love and sex. 363 00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:46,530 - What's the fourth one? - What? 364 00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:49,405 What's the fourth one, you said there was... 365 00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:56,471 What are you... 366 00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:00,058 What are you do... Is that pot? 367 00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:03,019 My god it stinks like pot in here, what are you doing? 368 00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:04,656 Pot. 369 00:19:05,122 --> 00:19:06,222 Smoking pot. 370 00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,400 God dammit, what happened to the new Henry? 371 00:19:10,936 --> 00:19:11,936 Now I... 372 00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:14,447 Shirt smells like pot. 373 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,959 Okay, you know what? 374 00:19:22,426 --> 00:19:24,276 I'm not gonna bust you guys 375 00:19:24,701 --> 00:19:26,459 for smoking pot on the job. 376 00:19:26,628 --> 00:19:29,288 Even though I should, because it's really wrong. 377 00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:31,185 Okay, this is me, Ron. 378 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:34,245 Giving you two a little straight talk. 379 00:19:34,370 --> 00:19:36,928 You're aware that I used to party pretty hard, right? 380 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,207 Oh, yeah. 381 00:19:38,332 --> 00:19:40,873 - Yeah, you made a bong out of cheese. - Oh my gosh. 382 00:19:40,998 --> 00:19:44,284 I wanna show you something. Four years ago, I vowed to get straight. 383 00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,604 I put this in my wallet as a constant reminder. 384 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:55,624 - I don't know what I'm looking at here. - You don't... 385 00:19:55,749 --> 00:19:58,599 Do you remember my party buddy Kevin Cathcart? 386 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,556 That's where his foot used to be. 387 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,480 So pot made his foot fall off? 388 00:20:06,463 --> 00:20:08,084 He became an alcoholic, 389 00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:10,355 mixed gin and percoset on his way to work, 390 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,131 he crashed the company van into a tree and lost his foot. 391 00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:14,286 God. 392 00:20:14,411 --> 00:20:17,565 - Where does pot fit in? - He smoked a lot of pot! 393 00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:19,195 That's a leg? 394 00:20:19,973 --> 00:20:22,194 Made footless. By pot. 395 00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:25,643 Get it? 396 00:20:28,776 --> 00:20:29,926 Give me this. 397 00:20:32,420 --> 00:20:33,620 Straight talk. 398 00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:41,881 Thanks, Ron. 399 00:20:49,211 --> 00:20:50,434 Oh, hello. 400 00:20:51,671 --> 00:20:54,557 - Are you here for something? - Working the event, like you. 401 00:20:54,682 --> 00:20:56,507 - That the men's room? - Why? 402 00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,276 What do you mean, why? 403 00:20:58,861 --> 00:20:59,816 Why... 404 00:20:59,941 --> 00:21:03,295 I wouldn't go in there if I were you. I didn't stink up the place ya know, 405 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,240 not my thing when I'm working 406 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,817 but there's an old guy in there and... 407 00:21:08,251 --> 00:21:11,355 he has some bowel problems and he can't see so it's... 408 00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:14,229 Quite frankly, it's a little messy in there. 409 00:21:14,354 --> 00:21:16,605 I'd use the bathroom down the hallway. 410 00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:17,880 It's not far. 411 00:21:19,164 --> 00:21:20,164 So. 412 00:21:25,025 --> 00:21:28,007 Seniors, god what a word, huh? 413 00:21:29,751 --> 00:21:33,390 But maybe, it's because we're just not looking at it right. 414 00:21:34,658 --> 00:21:35,658 Sexy! 415 00:21:38,176 --> 00:21:40,593 That's right, that's right! Okay, that's good. 416 00:21:40,762 --> 00:21:42,762 But you know, you guys won't admit it 417 00:21:42,931 --> 00:21:45,356 because you think that once you get older 418 00:21:45,481 --> 00:21:47,481 you have to act all dignified. 419 00:21:47,727 --> 00:21:48,739 Yes, sir. 420 00:21:49,020 --> 00:21:51,820 How am I supposed to be sexy? If I can't even stand up! 421 00:21:51,945 --> 00:21:53,496 I'm glad you asked. 422 00:21:54,036 --> 00:21:56,486 If you read chapter nine, "Sexy time", 423 00:21:56,954 --> 00:21:59,694 you'd know that your biggest sex organ, 424 00:22:00,045 --> 00:22:01,925 and I don't care who you are, 425 00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:03,157 is your brain. 426 00:22:03,559 --> 00:22:05,219 That's where it starts. 427 00:22:28,488 --> 00:22:31,419 Think of how exciting it was to be in school and have those nervous feelings, 428 00:22:31,544 --> 00:22:34,108 and who wouldn't want to go back to high school! 429 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:36,606 Yes, are there any questions? 430 00:22:38,665 --> 00:22:39,731 You again. 431 00:22:40,632 --> 00:22:41,609 Yes sir? 432 00:22:41,734 --> 00:22:44,334 Isn't this whole thing kinda undignified? 433 00:22:44,459 --> 00:22:45,913 You know what Fred? 434 00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,578 What I really think you need to do is loosen up. 435 00:22:49,195 --> 00:22:50,595 She's right, Fred. 436 00:22:50,915 --> 00:22:54,665 You need to loosen up a little. You should listen to your nurse. 437 00:22:56,573 --> 00:23:00,352 Oh, my god! I told you there would be surprises! 438 00:23:02,579 --> 00:23:05,579 Bet you're all wishing you had a nurse like this. 439 00:23:30,858 --> 00:23:33,328 So, I just got really high, 440 00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:35,563 and I had the weirdest fucking thing happen. 441 00:23:35,688 --> 00:23:37,288 I'm getting a divorce. 442 00:23:37,906 --> 00:23:38,956 Oh my gosh. 443 00:24:03,822 --> 00:24:06,172 Bullshit! Oh my gosh. Cut the music! 444 00:24:10,801 --> 00:24:12,088 Nurse. 445 00:24:12,213 --> 00:24:13,983 What are you... What's happening? 446 00:24:14,108 --> 00:24:16,508 She's not a nurse. Now, do something! 447 00:24:17,766 --> 00:24:19,296 What's all the commotion? 448 00:24:19,421 --> 00:24:22,463 Officer. We got a man down, and this woman is not a nurse. 449 00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:27,385 I took a class! I took a class, we'll do a two man version 450 00:24:27,554 --> 00:24:30,472 you're gonna do the back, you're gonna breathe and whatever that entails, 451 00:24:30,597 --> 00:24:32,056 and I'm gonna smush the heart. 452 00:24:32,299 --> 00:24:34,446 - Oh, shit! Is he dead? - What? 453 00:24:35,448 --> 00:24:38,062 Listen, listen to me! This is what you were trained for! 454 00:24:41,630 --> 00:24:43,341 He's a stripper. They're both strippers. 455 00:24:43,466 --> 00:24:45,316 - Do something! - Doctor?! 456 00:24:45,732 --> 00:24:48,739 - Is someone here a doctor? - Is anybody a doctor? 457 00:24:49,006 --> 00:24:50,406 There's no doctor! 458 00:24:50,618 --> 00:24:53,035 - You took the class. - Come on, do it, do it, do it. 459 00:24:53,623 --> 00:24:56,373 It's a series of breaths and compressions... 460 00:24:57,045 --> 00:25:00,042 - 15 to two ratio. - That's right, 15 to two ratio. 461 00:25:00,211 --> 00:25:02,809 - Here we go. - I was a girl scout. Come on. 462 00:25:02,934 --> 00:25:04,384 It's okay, come on. 463 00:25:08,242 --> 00:25:09,093 One. 464 00:25:09,780 --> 00:25:10,780 Two. 465 00:25:11,796 --> 00:25:12,796 Three. 466 00:25:13,486 --> 00:25:15,725 It's the other way around! Just two breaths. 467 00:25:15,894 --> 00:25:17,685 No, you can't tell me that now! 468 00:25:17,853 --> 00:25:20,736 - Two breaths, two breaths. - Bruce, no don't be dead! 469 00:25:20,861 --> 00:25:22,484 Bruce, please don't be dead. 470 00:25:22,609 --> 00:25:25,299 Oh, please Bruce! Bruce, please live! 471 00:25:25,424 --> 00:25:27,985 I'm too young! You can't die! 472 00:25:28,334 --> 00:25:30,240 Bruce, please, please. 473 00:25:30,365 --> 00:25:32,697 Live, dammit, you bastard! 474 00:25:33,927 --> 00:25:35,277 Okay, that's one. 475 00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:46,172 Is this part of the seminar? 476 00:25:47,888 --> 00:25:51,027 Yes it is. Yes, it's part of the seminar. 477 00:25:51,612 --> 00:25:54,662 You see, you gotta be prepared, you gotta be sexy! 478 00:25:56,932 --> 00:25:58,834 Seniorlicious! 479 00:26:00,401 --> 00:26:01,801 Tell your friends! 480 00:26:03,304 --> 00:26:05,192 Sorry, I thought this was the men's room. 481 00:26:05,317 --> 00:26:06,317 It's not. 482 00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:20,648 And again service... Knock it off! 483 00:26:21,238 --> 00:26:23,888 Excellent. Can't get any higher than that. 484 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,212 Where've you been? 485 00:26:26,381 --> 00:26:28,339 Guess what? The bar's not gonna pack itself. 486 00:26:28,619 --> 00:26:30,354 Where's Constance? 487 00:26:31,778 --> 00:26:33,665 See you later, then. 488 00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:36,184 See you later. 489 00:26:40,019 --> 00:26:42,603 - Hey Casey, grab those boxes for me. - Yep. 490 00:26:43,011 --> 00:26:44,011 Calm down. 491 00:26:47,050 --> 00:26:49,611 Casey, I just wanted to say that we heard 492 00:26:49,736 --> 00:26:52,953 what's happening in your personal life with your marriage and stuff, 493 00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:56,178 I wanted to let you know that if you need anything, 494 00:26:56,625 --> 00:26:59,072 someone to talk to, you know, maybe you just need a hug. 495 00:26:59,197 --> 00:27:01,647 - Come here. - So ni... Thanks, Roman. 496 00:27:05,628 --> 00:27:06,828 What the fuck? 497 00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:10,384 Fuck look, I... That... 498 00:27:10,509 --> 00:27:13,309 - Is that real... Okay, sure. - In my pocket. 499 00:27:15,618 --> 00:27:16,595 Fuck. 500 00:27:17,155 --> 00:27:18,605 Snap, motherfucker! 501 00:27:20,727 --> 00:27:24,731 Subtitles: Are You having Fun Team --==All-about-Subs.fr / Sub-Way.fr==-- 502 00:27:24,781 --> 00:27:29,331 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36895

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