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1
00:00:12,272 --> 00:00:16,257
Together we're building a
better, brighter tomorrow?
2
00:00:17,211 --> 00:00:18,361
All in favor?
3
00:00:19,262 --> 00:00:20,362
All opposed?
4
00:00:21,903 --> 00:00:22,794
Voted down!
5
00:00:22,919 --> 00:00:25,475
Okay people, we've been
doing this for an hour, now.
6
00:00:25,644 --> 00:00:27,528
We need a theme for next year.
7
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,631
Tim,
8
00:00:28,756 --> 00:00:31,856
I feel like the "together"
sounds kind of socialist...
9
00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:37,125
- What you got here?
- Instructions.
10
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,003
See, Since this is an underage function
11
00:00:39,128 --> 00:00:42,978
I'll be serving a "Virgin Manhattan",
we call the "Rudy Giuliani,"
12
00:00:43,307 --> 00:00:44,807
and this right here.
13
00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:49,030
Good old virgin "Freedom-Tini."
14
00:00:49,155 --> 00:00:50,155
How is it?
15
00:00:51,831 --> 00:00:54,981
Sweet and innocent, with
its whole life ahead of it.
16
00:00:57,049 --> 00:01:00,301
Well, You could at make it a mix
tape before you take its virginity.
17
00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:01,845
Just aging it up a bit.
18
00:01:02,204 --> 00:01:03,460
It's in its thirties now.
19
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:06,307
So all... in favor of "a
brighter, better tomorrow?"
20
00:01:06,575 --> 00:01:08,441
- Aye!
- Aye.
21
00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:11,717
Hey Henry,
22
00:01:12,393 --> 00:01:16,285
you're not still down in the dumps,
about this whole hollywood thing are you?
23
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,820
When you've been in the acting
business as long as I have,
24
00:01:19,238 --> 00:01:21,589
you see that everything
comes and goes in cycles.
25
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:22,714
You're up,
26
00:01:23,452 --> 00:01:24,588
you're down.
27
00:01:24,713 --> 00:01:27,862
- Yeah, I mean, I quit so...
- You sound like my friend Ed.
28
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,487
Now Ed was an actor.
29
00:01:29,612 --> 00:01:33,054
And tried and tried and
never got that magic role.
30
00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:37,106
He worked nights at a copy store,
lived in a terrible apartment,
31
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,731
filled with roaches,
32
00:01:38,906 --> 00:01:41,134
but he never gave up.
33
00:01:42,487 --> 00:01:45,457
Then, on his sixtieth birthday,
34
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,871
he said, "that's it, I quit
I can't do this anymore."
35
00:01:52,498 --> 00:01:54,648
Guess what happened a week later?
36
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:58,445
- He got discovered?
- He died.
37
00:02:00,089 --> 00:02:02,061
Dreams are our life force.
38
00:02:04,412 --> 00:02:06,034
He just dropped dead?
39
00:02:06,350 --> 00:02:08,220
He was on Venice pier and
40
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:12,195
some tourist asked him to tak
their picture. He backed up too far,
41
00:02:14,577 --> 00:02:16,327
- Hang in there.
- Okay.
42
00:02:35,773 --> 00:02:37,565
Okay, okay people, listen up.
43
00:02:37,734 --> 00:02:40,206
Not only are we serving
the leaders of tomorrow,
44
00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:42,779
who probably will be your
bosses someday, but also...
45
00:02:43,551 --> 00:02:44,897
Ah-nold.
46
00:02:46,872 --> 00:02:49,494
The governator will be
making an appearance.
47
00:02:49,662 --> 00:02:51,659
Yeah, we're gonna hang with Ah-nold.
48
00:02:51,784 --> 00:02:54,790
No, we have been specifically
asked to not hang with Arnold.
49
00:02:54,915 --> 00:02:58,165
Okay so no schmoozing, no
giving him scripts, no nada.
50
00:02:58,557 --> 00:03:00,296
Okay it's Arnold we're professionals,
51
00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:03,091
okay and smiles, Henry that means you.
52
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,133
What's that?
53
00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:11,683
Husband sent it to prove I can
pursue my comedy career in vermont.
54
00:03:12,011 --> 00:03:14,504
- Burlington has a comedy troupe.
- "The Yucks."
55
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,729
Are they supposed to
be funny or disgusting?
56
00:03:16,898 --> 00:03:20,557
Funny. See, "yucking it up since 1992."
57
00:03:21,389 --> 00:03:22,726
So, you're... going?
58
00:03:22,851 --> 00:03:26,401
He's house hunting over there
and I'm here thinking it over.
59
00:03:27,127 --> 00:03:30,527
- Yeah, what are you thinking?
- I'm thinking... Vermont?
60
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:33,965
And then I'm also thinking
about this Comedy Central Show
61
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,970
that I'm really positive
that I'm gonna get.
62
00:03:36,095 --> 00:03:37,520
Like I feel really good about it.
63
00:03:37,645 --> 00:03:41,379
And so I don't know, I just don't want to
give up on everything so soon, you know?
64
00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,333
You want my advice?
65
00:03:54,226 --> 00:03:57,376
- Just don't, don't fuss.
- Oh honey, you want ribs?
66
00:04:03,205 --> 00:04:05,598
You know what I like
about you conservatives?
67
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,448
Meat. A lot of these wussy
parties we do, it's...
68
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:11,270
chicken, it's quiche. Veggie platters.
69
00:04:11,988 --> 00:04:14,538
- Honest red meat.
- Yes, american beef.
70
00:04:17,202 --> 00:04:19,917
It true what they say about your ladies?
71
00:04:21,447 --> 00:04:24,266
Prim outside, but they attack in the sack?
72
00:04:24,391 --> 00:04:26,430
Get real nasty, scratch and shit?
73
00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:28,855
- What was that.
- Nothing, sweetie,
74
00:04:34,546 --> 00:04:36,076
I completely understand.
75
00:04:36,201 --> 00:04:37,201
Thank you,
76
00:04:37,487 --> 00:04:40,210
- Walk with me.
- Yes Jeffrey, how can I help you?
77
00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:42,235
Right, I totally understand.
78
00:04:42,385 --> 00:04:44,974
Thank you so much for
keeping us in the loop, Dan.
79
00:04:45,099 --> 00:04:46,961
I really appreciate it. Okay, Bye.
80
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:49,200
Okay, that was the governor's lead man.
81
00:04:49,325 --> 00:04:51,658
The governor is gonna be late, so
we need to move the buffet back.
82
00:04:51,827 --> 00:04:55,774
Constance chaffing dishes on warmers
and we will pace the appetizers as well.
83
00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:57,121
Hey, Dennis, Jeffery,
84
00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,513
Hi, listen. I'm in the hall
governor's pushed an hour.
85
00:04:59,638 --> 00:05:01,243
Right, thanks, bye.
86
00:05:01,555 --> 00:05:03,846
Arnold, that's very
exciting. How'd you get him?
87
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,965
Let me tell you something, Ron.
There is a simple formula for success,
88
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:09,709
and I followed it.
89
00:05:09,969 --> 00:05:11,914
"Work hard and you succeed."
90
00:05:12,149 --> 00:05:14,084
There it is, and that's
why you're president.
91
00:05:14,209 --> 00:05:16,730
- I'm the secretary.
- Secretary, Answering phones, sitting at a desk...
92
00:05:16,855 --> 00:05:19,519
No, not like a "secretary."
No, not like a female.
93
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,526
- It's the number 3 executive position.
- Third best, very good.
94
00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:25,642
- It's a bronze, bronze medal.
- Tell ya I'm gonna be president next year.
95
00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:29,195
I can assure you. Greg Meers
thinks he can win it with looks.
96
00:05:29,898 --> 00:05:32,178
- You need more than that.
- I'm gonna teach him otherwise.
97
00:05:32,303 --> 00:05:35,034
Ever read the book "where the blood
flows?" So too goes the victor.
98
00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:37,870
- I have not I have to write that down.
- Walk with me.
99
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,850
Because when the governor comes
100
00:05:42,396 --> 00:05:45,368
For God's sake, Ron. This is
supposed to be off limits, come on.
101
00:05:45,493 --> 00:05:46,493
Kyle,
102
00:05:46,618 --> 00:05:50,251
- Okay, was it the eyebrow?
- Kyle this room is off limits.
103
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:52,467
Thank you.
104
00:05:58,185 --> 00:06:00,484
- Simple as that.
- Nobody can be in here
105
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:03,332
who isn't authorized. You
understant that? Nobody okay?
106
00:06:03,457 --> 00:06:06,232
There are important papers
here, items of value.
107
00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:10,951
Look at that. Custom made for the governor.
108
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,898
Engraved. He'll be impressed.
109
00:06:13,023 --> 00:06:14,667
Yes he will, yes he will.
110
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,409
And my name goes in his rolodex.
111
00:06:16,846 --> 00:06:18,619
Networking. Name of the game.
112
00:06:23,699 --> 00:06:25,499
You flag's a little dirty.
113
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,418
Ron, this a very special
gift from one of our members
114
00:06:29,543 --> 00:06:31,959
currently stationed with our
forces in the middle east, okay.
115
00:06:32,084 --> 00:06:34,934
It's from a convoy that
came under enemy fire.
116
00:06:35,577 --> 00:06:38,422
No, don't do that you
gotta be careful. Because...
117
00:06:38,547 --> 00:06:41,017
a flag is folded according
to very specific rules.
118
00:06:41,811 --> 00:06:42,935
Right that's...
119
00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:44,741
That's what they do.
120
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:48,157
Cigars. Arnold loves cigars!
121
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,500
That's right, Don Targas, cubain.
122
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:52,192
Best in the world.
123
00:06:52,456 --> 00:06:56,073
Can I just say, I am right
there with you and arnold.
124
00:06:56,463 --> 00:06:58,159
Personal responsibility,
125
00:06:58,446 --> 00:07:00,661
small business, future small business
126
00:07:00,786 --> 00:07:03,215
owner myself Soup'r Crackers.
127
00:07:03,605 --> 00:07:05,155
All you can eat soup.
128
00:07:06,837 --> 00:07:10,337
I'm practically the embodiment
of arnold's life philosophy.
129
00:07:15,174 --> 00:07:16,174
Jeffery,
130
00:07:17,308 --> 00:07:18,958
I would love to just...
131
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:21,756
shake his hand.
132
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,918
You know just to say...
133
00:07:32,302 --> 00:07:34,345
"Leaders of tomorrow", my ass.
134
00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:37,692
Only thing any of these dorks're
gonna lead is a circle jerk.
135
00:07:37,817 --> 00:07:39,656
You know what I mean?
136
00:07:39,781 --> 00:07:40,805
Fuckers!
137
00:07:41,401 --> 00:07:42,401
God damit!
138
00:07:45,391 --> 00:07:46,771
So, thanks to you,
139
00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:50,002
- I didn't get the palisades.
- Well boo, fuckin' hoo.
140
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:52,012
- What's this?
- Hey!
141
00:07:52,378 --> 00:07:54,795
- Come on give that back man.
- What, You're gonna slip that to Arnold?
142
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,779
- Don't fuckin' wrinkle it!
- I just wanna see it bro.
143
00:07:56,904 --> 00:07:59,387
- You're pissing me off...
- A terror bird?
144
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:02,205
- You can read. Oh my god.
- It's so dumb.
145
00:08:02,887 --> 00:08:04,684
You've no idea what you're talking about.
146
00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:07,119
- A terrifying bird?
- Wrong.
147
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:10,187
I mean, yes.
148
00:08:10,904 --> 00:08:14,026
It's called phorusrhacids, it's a ten foot
tall prehistoric man-eating bird, okay?
149
00:08:14,322 --> 00:08:17,049
Velociraptor's was maybe
six feet, at the most.
150
00:08:17,174 --> 00:08:18,416
And "Jurassic Park" made,
151
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,533
- a billion dollars?
- Who's scared of a bird?
152
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,978
You would be if it was picking
out your guts with a giant beak.
153
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:27,089
Constance, How big would a bird have to
be for you like to be supper scare of it.
154
00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:29,327
I don't know, a hundred
feet, two hundred...
155
00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:30,857
I don't know, I'm sorry Kyle.
156
00:08:30,982 --> 00:08:33,576
I can't think straight right now
and that's such a good question.
157
00:08:33,701 --> 00:08:35,051
But I'm so mad...
158
00:08:35,385 --> 00:08:38,551
I just heard one of those
fascist make a gay joke.
159
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,570
And I'm just beside myself.
160
00:08:41,274 --> 00:08:42,888
Fuckin' intolerance... blows.
161
00:08:43,177 --> 00:08:45,806
- What're you doing here?
- I am gonna spit on the appetizers.
162
00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:47,561
I can't remember which he was eating.
163
00:08:47,686 --> 00:08:49,581
There's other things we can do than spit.
164
00:08:49,706 --> 00:08:51,188
Like what, I love spitting.
165
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,681
I know but if you just point him out to me.
166
00:08:53,806 --> 00:08:55,456
I will take care of it.
167
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,614
- Hi, Freedom-Tini.
- Straight Old-Fashion regular.
168
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,856
What I think is more important is
changing the culture of politics
169
00:09:02,981 --> 00:09:06,129
I agree a hundred percent. I mean No
more defeatism or business as usual.
170
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,453
Exactly and that's why I feel
like what we're doing is...
171
00:09:08,578 --> 00:09:11,428
- really making the difference
- Are you sick?
172
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,586
It's just a pain-killer.
173
00:09:14,214 --> 00:09:15,838
You okay, anything broken?
174
00:09:16,007 --> 00:09:17,839
Ah just my career and my life.
175
00:09:17,964 --> 00:09:19,800
So I abuse pain-killers
and drink too much.
176
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,984
Defeatism, I know.
177
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:26,606
I'm a liberal, it's
not your problem though.
178
00:09:26,731 --> 00:09:30,019
So Freedom-Tini and Old
Fashion, their you go.
179
00:09:30,188 --> 00:09:33,064
- So what're you, an actor or something?
- Was I quit.
180
00:09:33,644 --> 00:09:34,565
You quit?
181
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:36,730
Seemed like the only dignified thing to do.
182
00:09:36,855 --> 00:09:39,043
Boy, If you think there's
anything dignified about quitting.
183
00:09:39,168 --> 00:09:42,646
Well the undignified part comes
when I move back in with my parents.
184
00:09:42,771 --> 00:09:44,884
Mined if I give you a little advice?
185
00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:46,009
Sure.
186
00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:50,155
When I use to feel like quitting
my father would say this.
187
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,493
Jim Abbott.
188
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:53,349
Great man.
189
00:09:57,340 --> 00:10:00,382
- That's the advice? Jim Abbott.
- Yeah, Jim Abbott, born with one hand.
190
00:10:00,507 --> 00:10:02,042
He went on to pitch in the majors.
191
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:04,263
- You can Tell him about Oscar Pistorius.
- Sprinter, no legs.
192
00:10:04,388 --> 00:10:06,058
Maybe You've heard of Max Cleland?
193
00:10:06,183 --> 00:10:08,938
Yes, Didn't let being a multiple amputee,
stop him from becoming a US senator.
194
00:10:09,063 --> 00:10:11,519
- Of course I disagreed with his politics.
- Me too, but he didn't quit,
195
00:10:11,687 --> 00:10:14,214
- that's the point I'm trying to make.
- Sure and I've got all parts.
196
00:10:14,339 --> 00:10:16,996
Right, see it's a choice.
You can chose to be a victim,
197
00:10:17,121 --> 00:10:18,969
or you can chose to achieve your goals.
198
00:10:19,094 --> 00:10:20,608
Freedom of choice.
199
00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:22,780
And that, is what makes
this country so great.
200
00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:23,698
Schrimp?
201
00:10:27,468 --> 00:10:29,578
That's very un-pc that's not what I meant.
202
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:31,272
No, even if you did miss,
203
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:34,997
We're not the pc police. So you don't
have to worry about it, you know.
204
00:10:35,597 --> 00:10:38,838
Freedom of speech, that is what
makes this country so great.
205
00:10:39,104 --> 00:10:40,982
Why don't you just go ahead and say it.
206
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,457
- Say it?
- You're a shrimp, say it.
207
00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:48,597
- You're s shrimp.
- I know, and that's why I try harder.
208
00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:50,367
- Jim Abbott.
- Exactly.
209
00:10:50,492 --> 00:10:52,101
That's right, thank you.
210
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:53,904
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
211
00:10:54,313 --> 00:10:56,463
- I don't... okay.
- I apologize
212
00:10:56,692 --> 00:10:59,734
I just found out I didn't
get the Comedy Central gig.
213
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,962
- Sorry,
- Making it the fourth thing in a row
214
00:11:02,087 --> 00:11:04,915
where they're like, "you're
the girl." And then zero.
215
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,616
- Of course that sucks.
- I think Maybe I am gonna quit.
216
00:11:07,785 --> 00:11:09,542
You should do it, I'm a quitter, it's fun.
217
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,367
- You look like...
- One last thing,
218
00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:13,480
nobody ever accomplished
anything by quitting.
219
00:11:13,605 --> 00:11:15,372
What if Ronald Regan quit?
220
00:11:15,497 --> 00:11:18,586
- Quit acting, he did.
- Yeah That's actually where I got the idea.
221
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:22,433
I get to shake hands with Arnold.
I need you to take a picture.
222
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:24,171
Wait how come you get to
shake his hands with Arnold
223
00:11:24,296 --> 00:11:27,412
- if we're not allowed to say anything?
- It's different, it's their idea!
224
00:11:27,537 --> 00:11:31,337
Oh man, what're you gonna think
when you walk into a Soupr'Crackers
225
00:11:31,462 --> 00:11:33,771
and you see is me shaking hands
with Arnold Schwarzenegger!
226
00:11:33,896 --> 00:11:36,146
Fuck am doing in a Soupr'Crackers.
227
00:11:37,309 --> 00:11:38,559
I need a cigar.
228
00:11:38,845 --> 00:11:41,284
I gotta get a cigar. These guys got
229
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,950
Arnold Schwarzenegger
230
00:11:43,075 --> 00:11:46,225
these Don Targas, Cuban
cigars. Best in the world...
231
00:11:46,571 --> 00:11:50,201
Wait, we're giving the conservative
governor communist cigars?
232
00:11:52,329 --> 00:11:54,764
It's a free market issue!
233
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,233
Why not give him the best cigars?
234
00:11:57,358 --> 00:11:59,497
Because we can't condone
communism, Jeffrey.
235
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:00,855
Communism? Communism.
236
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:03,336
Obviously, That's not a message
we want to send to the governor,
237
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,495
- or to the nation...
- You know what we'll voted,
238
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:09,220
Okay, bottom line. We give a new
gift or we'll give him the cigars.
239
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:15,599
I don't see why you had to open your mouth.
240
00:12:15,724 --> 00:12:17,161
This makes me look bad.
241
00:12:17,286 --> 00:12:18,586
I am so sorry...
242
00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:22,106
Henry!
243
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:23,898
Smiles, dammit.
244
00:12:27,971 --> 00:12:29,206
Excuse me,
245
00:12:29,952 --> 00:12:31,659
is this yours? You dropped...
246
00:12:32,056 --> 00:12:34,119
- Yes sorry.
- You know The Yucks?
247
00:12:34,728 --> 00:12:36,691
- You know The Yucks?
- Yes, I know The Yucks,
248
00:12:36,816 --> 00:12:38,874
I'm from St. George, outside Burlington.
249
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:40,918
- Oh Weird.
- I saw them a bunch of times.
250
00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:43,116
- And they're super funny.
- Really?
251
00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:45,291
Yeah, are you going to Vermont?
252
00:12:45,742 --> 00:12:48,634
- My husband got a job there.
- Oh, so you're moving.
253
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:50,867
Maybe, I don't know.
254
00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,229
What's it like there?
255
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:59,901
There he is that asshole in the argyle.
256
00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:01,570
He made the gay joke.
257
00:13:01,695 --> 00:13:03,778
All right, now the thing with prejudice?
258
00:13:03,903 --> 00:13:06,425
You just gotta throw it
right back in their face.
259
00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:08,135
Watch and learn.
260
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:13,608
- Hey guys, shrimp puffs?
- Thanks.
261
00:13:14,616 --> 00:13:16,516
Hey, you know any gay jokes?
262
00:13:16,798 --> 00:13:17,663
Gay jokes?
263
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,708
I just... heard you knew
an awesome good gay joke.
264
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,197
- Yeah, yeah I do.
- Cool.
265
00:13:23,892 --> 00:13:26,158
So these two gay guys go the fair,
266
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,766
and one of them says "let's
go on the ferris wheel,"
267
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,616
and the other says "no, no,
you go, I'm afraid if heights"
268
00:13:31,741 --> 00:13:35,620
so the one guy goes, and he's going
around and around, but suddenly
269
00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:37,808
the car snaps off and falls to the ground,
270
00:13:38,105 --> 00:13:40,605
The other gay guy runs up, and is like,
271
00:13:40,962 --> 00:13:42,235
are you hurt?"
272
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,844
And the guy says
273
00:13:44,111 --> 00:13:45,333
"of course I'm hurt,
274
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,484
I waved three times and
you never waved back."
275
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,310
Well, guess what.
276
00:13:52,311 --> 00:13:53,414
I'm gay.
277
00:13:54,983 --> 00:13:55,983
Really?
278
00:13:56,408 --> 00:13:58,105
So am I.
279
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,858
I'm not really gay.
280
00:14:06,296 --> 00:14:08,226
Everybody listen up, so...
281
00:14:08,351 --> 00:14:10,382
by a one vote margin, the...
282
00:14:10,604 --> 00:14:13,106
Cuban cigars are rejected, unfortunately.
283
00:14:13,231 --> 00:14:15,095
Can you arrange a different gift, please.
284
00:14:15,264 --> 00:14:17,564
- Thank you Jeffery.
- Thanks Jeff.
285
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,518
Wait a minute. Look at that? Todd voted?
286
00:14:21,858 --> 00:14:24,018
- What?
- But todd can't vote.
287
00:14:24,143 --> 00:14:26,399
Exactly it's a tie. We gotta a tie.
288
00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:29,610
And A tie is broken by the vice president
and I am the vice president so...
289
00:14:32,911 --> 00:14:34,292
That didn't work,
290
00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:35,586
he's gay.
291
00:14:36,531 --> 00:14:39,215
What is this jim crow? I can't
believe what I'm hearing here
292
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:42,021
- What?
- That black guys vote doesn't count?
293
00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:43,916
And that's okay with all of you?
294
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,467
- Now miss you don't...
- what I don't have the right to speak?
295
00:14:46,592 --> 00:14:47,836
Because I'm a woman.
296
00:14:48,129 --> 00:14:50,242
Is that what you're trying to tell me?
297
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,977
Hey todd is from Toronto.
298
00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:54,390
Non-citizens can't
vote, It's in the bylaws.
299
00:14:54,515 --> 00:14:56,826
- I'm so sorry.
- And since when Is Toronto
300
00:14:56,951 --> 00:15:00,934
is not apart of the
United States of America?
301
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,018
Todd why are you even here?
302
00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:05,253
These people hate you!
303
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:07,952
And you gay guy,
304
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,235
have some self respect.
305
00:15:11,888 --> 00:15:14,041
They wanna silence my voice as a woman.
306
00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:16,115
And if you help them Ron
you are as bad as they are.
307
00:15:16,284 --> 00:15:19,201
Constance, I totally
understand and I totally
308
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,541
respect your voice as a woman.
309
00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:24,016
- Thank you.
- I just think for now,
310
00:15:24,252 --> 00:15:26,102
to help us be professional,
311
00:15:26,309 --> 00:15:29,459
you should just stay back
here work with the food...
312
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,633
don't talk okay?
313
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:34,779
Ron,
314
00:15:35,218 --> 00:15:36,221
now.
315
00:15:39,682 --> 00:15:42,630
I need to just... hey
this is a giant step back.
316
00:15:42,755 --> 00:15:44,526
Damit! Gosh darn fuck!
317
00:15:44,651 --> 00:15:46,942
Didn't I say nobody's allowed
in here, didn't I say that?
318
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:48,765
- What are you doing in here?
- Nothing.
319
00:15:48,890 --> 00:15:50,958
Roman, this room is off limits!
320
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:54,286
I told you, I specifically
told you that. I told him.
321
00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:56,160
So get out!
322
00:15:56,898 --> 00:15:58,391
Of the room.
323
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,661
And I had no idea
Constance was a liberal...
324
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,480
these are excuses, Ron!
325
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:07,412
I don't want excuses. I want results...
326
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,736
- I'm so, so sorry...
- Don't apologize,
327
00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:11,336
don't, don't apologize!
328
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,757
Let me tell you something, You know what my
father used to say me? When I was just a kid.
329
00:16:15,395 --> 00:16:19,037
He use to say "Jeffery, there are
two kinds of people" in this world
330
00:16:19,162 --> 00:16:21,262
there're achievers and fuck-ups.
331
00:16:22,974 --> 00:16:25,570
- What do you wanna be?
- I want to be an achiever.
332
00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:27,686
That's what I thought, then
Do what I say no excuses, okay?
333
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:31,725
I need you to get a case of Daniel
Marshall cigars. Made in the USA.
334
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:34,650
Replace the Don Targas
with those. Okay? Go.
335
00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:36,329
If you miss him, we'll mail 'em.
336
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,447
Daniel marshall... what
do you mean, miss him?
337
00:16:47,123 --> 00:16:48,123
Roman.
338
00:17:02,496 --> 00:17:04,468
I swear to god if you
ask me to go out there
339
00:17:04,593 --> 00:17:06,963
and apologize to those pigs,
I will stab you in the face.
340
00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:10,055
Forget about the conservatives. I need
you to run out sand I need you to get me
341
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:13,430
a box of Daniel Marshall
cigars as quickly as possible
342
00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:15,692
- There for Arnold.
- Do I get to meet him?
343
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:20,480
I'll introduce you but you
cannot speak. Okay Go, go
344
00:17:25,008 --> 00:17:26,787
Not only is this against the rules,
345
00:17:26,955 --> 00:17:28,993
but you got sauce on an american flag.
346
00:17:29,118 --> 00:17:31,668
You know the rules, what'am I gonna say?
347
00:17:32,728 --> 00:17:33,919
Don't eat their food.
348
00:17:34,088 --> 00:17:35,968
Okay that, too. So that's three things.
349
00:17:36,093 --> 00:17:38,343
So that's triple probation for you.
350
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,266
Shit.
351
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,276
Hey love you.
352
00:17:58,490 --> 00:17:59,445
Nice.
353
00:18:03,818 --> 00:18:06,068
So those guys called you a quitter?
354
00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:09,580
These guys are a bunch of losers too.
355
00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:12,916
I don't know, they seem
like a pretty together bunch.
356
00:18:13,273 --> 00:18:15,123
They're fooling themselves.
357
00:18:15,248 --> 00:18:17,663
You think all this bullshit
about hard work and achieving
358
00:18:17,788 --> 00:18:19,265
means something, but it doesn't.
359
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,962
The universe is completely random.
Particles colliding at random.
360
00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:24,219
Blind chance.
361
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:27,531
So you didn't make it.
362
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,727
No big deal, it's not your fault,
363
00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:30,934
shit's random.
364
00:18:32,899 --> 00:18:34,813
Thanks Roman. I feel a lot better.
365
00:18:35,273 --> 00:18:36,323
You got it.
366
00:18:37,774 --> 00:18:38,974
When I'm huge,
367
00:18:40,461 --> 00:18:43,724
I'm gonna really enjoy
fuckin' with these perverts.
368
00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:03,876
Mothafucker!
369
00:19:19,494 --> 00:19:22,944
- Hey Ron, I got the cigars.
- Come on get down, get down!
370
00:19:25,881 --> 00:19:28,413
Please, tell me you got
the Daniel Marshalls.
371
00:19:28,538 --> 00:19:31,846
Oh yeah, they had Daniel
Marshalls. The store manager,
372
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,993
told me to get you these.
373
00:19:34,118 --> 00:19:36,833
Don Targas from Cuba. These
are the best in the world!
374
00:19:43,347 --> 00:19:44,847
Take off the labels,
375
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,485
pour the box into the briefcase.
376
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,200
Two freedom-tinis.
377
00:19:57,325 --> 00:19:59,391
I need a bottle of grain
alcohol and a lighter.
378
00:19:59,516 --> 00:20:00,516
What?
379
00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,541
Just do it and come with me.
380
00:20:02,809 --> 00:20:03,809
Please.
381
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,120
Okay, look for dirt. Rocks.
Anything grimy. Ashes.
382
00:20:10,245 --> 00:20:14,249
Ashes would be good. Or like
cinders or like just dark dust.
383
00:20:14,695 --> 00:20:17,495
Dark dust would be good.
Ashes would be nice.
384
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:22,170
Cinders. Cinders would
be... cinders would be good.
385
00:20:27,867 --> 00:20:29,317
What are you doing?
386
00:20:30,677 --> 00:20:32,541
They had this flag, special flag
387
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:35,083
from a battle in Iraq. They
wanted to give it to the governor,
388
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,170
- and something happened to it.
- So what...
389
00:20:38,121 --> 00:20:40,314
We're gonna get drunk
and desecrate this one?
390
00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:43,089
What am I speaking another goddam language?
391
00:20:43,214 --> 00:20:45,342
The governor's gonna be
here any minute, okay,
392
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:48,059
we need to make it look like
this flag has been under fire.
393
00:20:48,184 --> 00:20:50,449
Tear it up, dirty it
up, bullet holes, burns.
394
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:56,596
Give me the booze and give me your lighter.
395
00:20:58,708 --> 00:21:01,126
That's when we'd go to these
orchards and pick apples.
396
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:04,149
I know it's corny, but it's just so pretty.
397
00:21:04,274 --> 00:21:05,797
And the air is all crisp.
398
00:21:05,966 --> 00:21:08,704
And you get seasons, you know,
399
00:21:08,829 --> 00:21:10,079
I miss seasons.
400
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:12,399
I miss seasons, too.
401
00:21:12,524 --> 00:21:14,224
And it is really pretty.
402
00:21:14,349 --> 00:21:17,322
But it's boring right, come
on? It's so boring, it's small.
403
00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:20,228
I've lived there for 18 years.
I wasn't bore a single day.
404
00:21:21,358 --> 00:21:22,558
There you are.
405
00:21:23,864 --> 00:21:25,194
This is Casey.
406
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:28,399
I was just telling her
how great Vermont is.
407
00:21:28,524 --> 00:21:30,375
She's gonna move to Burlington.
408
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:33,214
- So, you are gonna quit.
- Her husband got a job there.
409
00:21:33,339 --> 00:21:35,965
I was just saying how good a place
it is to raise a family and stuff.
410
00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:37,240
Right, great.
411
00:21:37,705 --> 00:21:40,210
- We're moving back after graduation.
- No way.
412
00:21:40,335 --> 00:21:43,251
Actually, we're gonna go to
D.C. I got that internship.
413
00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:47,177
- What?
- I thought you'd be excited.
414
00:21:47,302 --> 00:21:49,251
So, when I my internship,
415
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:51,570
you were all for family values and Vermont.
416
00:21:51,695 --> 00:21:53,804
But now that you have
your internship, it's OK.
417
00:21:53,972 --> 00:21:55,838
- Seriously.
- We're moving to Vermont, Greg.
418
00:21:55,963 --> 00:21:58,235
That was the plan, screw D.C.
419
00:21:59,294 --> 00:22:02,241
- How could you be so selfish.
- It's selfish to work hard and succeed?
420
00:22:02,366 --> 00:22:04,084
What does your career have to do with us?
421
00:22:04,209 --> 00:22:06,733
Family values Greg, that's
what made this country great.
422
00:22:06,902 --> 00:22:08,102
What the fuck?
423
00:22:09,256 --> 00:22:12,281
You don't have to run around
man. Don't just stand there.
424
00:22:12,406 --> 00:22:14,369
Come on Henry, you could
be two things in life...
425
00:22:14,494 --> 00:22:17,394
You can be an achiever
or you can be a fuck-up.
426
00:22:18,496 --> 00:22:20,949
- Which one are you being now?
- I'm an achiever!
427
00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,824
Okay, then I am definitely
a fuck-up, and...
428
00:22:24,188 --> 00:22:28,171
standing here watching you light
a flag on fire in a parking lot,
429
00:22:28,339 --> 00:22:30,173
I feel kind of okay about it.
430
00:22:30,342 --> 00:22:33,025
Henry don't be a quitter, don't
be a quitter, do something.
431
00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:34,300
Do something.
432
00:22:39,145 --> 00:22:42,595
You can put that one next to
you and Arnold shaking hands.
433
00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:00,841
- I am so, so sorry.
- You're sorry?
434
00:23:01,191 --> 00:23:05,140
- You were burning an American flag.
- For Arnold Schwarzenegger.
435
00:23:06,334 --> 00:23:08,520
And this lighter it's
even mine, it's Henry's.
436
00:23:08,645 --> 00:23:10,464
- No it's not.
- Liar.
437
00:23:11,031 --> 00:23:14,384
- What did I say about excuses, huh?
- You're against them...
438
00:23:14,552 --> 00:23:16,136
- I'm against tham.
- Hate them.
439
00:23:16,341 --> 00:23:18,524
Excuse me gentlemen, is
one of you Jeffrey Elles?
440
00:23:18,649 --> 00:23:19,649
That's me.
441
00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:22,934
Hi, Dan Wisner, with the governor's office.
442
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,714
The governor's been held up
on a legislative emergency.
443
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:28,690
And won't be able to come, but
I wanted to thank you for...
444
00:23:33,277 --> 00:23:34,927
Part of our gift for...
445
00:23:35,052 --> 00:23:36,702
Governor Schwarzenegger
446
00:23:39,328 --> 00:23:41,278
Anyone know how to fold this?
447
00:23:45,545 --> 00:23:47,095
So, no Arnold, right?
448
00:24:03,994 --> 00:24:07,434
You know being in there, it was like 1776,
449
00:24:07,559 --> 00:24:10,482
and I was the janitor in constitution hall.
450
00:24:11,314 --> 00:24:12,317
It was...
451
00:24:13,122 --> 00:24:15,872
- Tt was amazing.
- Well, it sounds amazing.
452
00:24:17,718 --> 00:24:20,367
So Vermont seemed okay.
453
00:24:20,535 --> 00:24:23,185
Vermont sounded very okay. It's very nice.
454
00:24:23,443 --> 00:24:26,202
I liked it, in you know what,
a family values kind of way.
455
00:24:26,327 --> 00:24:28,375
It's not really Vermont,
that's the problem.
456
00:24:29,221 --> 00:24:31,023
- What's the problem?
- My whole thing.
457
00:24:31,148 --> 00:24:33,812
Like the whole, "Don't tell me what to do."
458
00:24:33,937 --> 00:24:37,175
You know which makes me
automatically very anti-family values.
459
00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:40,291
You know and then there's
the "If I give up my career
460
00:24:40,416 --> 00:24:42,722
"I'd become a weak-willed quitter."
461
00:24:42,903 --> 00:24:45,278
Well you see, that is why
I was never a conservative.
462
00:24:45,403 --> 00:24:47,018
Because you can win with these guys.
463
00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:49,253
- You can't win with them.
- It's impossible.
464
00:24:49,378 --> 00:24:50,778
Nearly impossible.
465
00:24:53,193 --> 00:24:55,117
Do you want my advice cause you kind of...
466
00:24:55,242 --> 00:24:57,583
- It seems like you do now.
- I don't want your advice.
467
00:24:57,708 --> 00:25:00,152
You're a quitter, why would I
take the advice of a quitter?
468
00:25:00,277 --> 00:25:02,435
- I prefer fuck up.
- A fuck up. Well, fuck up,
469
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:06,246
- I already know what you're gonna say.
- Or really? What am I gonna say?
470
00:25:06,414 --> 00:25:09,504
You're gonna say, go do
the family values thing.
471
00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:11,947
Go do that, don't become me,
472
00:25:12,072 --> 00:25:13,336
don't follow this path.
473
00:25:13,528 --> 00:25:15,378
No, no, no, no, actually...
474
00:25:17,299 --> 00:25:18,999
I think you should stay.
475
00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:23,655
Really?
476
00:25:25,092 --> 00:25:26,492
Naw, just kidding.
477
00:25:49,191 --> 00:25:50,391
"Terror bird."
478
00:25:50,441 --> 00:25:54,991
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