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1
00:00:02,305 --> 00:00:03,740
Problem.
2
00:00:03,741 --> 00:00:05,745
My beautiful wife wants
me to have cocktails
3
00:00:05,746 --> 00:00:08,417
- with an old classmate.
- Why is that a problem?
4
00:00:08,418 --> 00:00:11,157
Picture a 300-pound mullet
peeing in an Alabama hot tub.
5
00:00:13,395 --> 00:00:14,764
I'm gonna call her now.
6
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,801
You gotta help me get out of this.
7
00:00:16,802 --> 00:00:18,572
What kind of marriage are you in
8
00:00:18,573 --> 00:00:20,175
that you can't be honest with your wife?
9
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A good one. A second one.
10
00:00:22,348 --> 00:00:24,118
One in which I do not lie to my wife,
11
00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:26,322
but with this woman I...
12
00:00:26,323 --> 00:00:28,695
I am willing to exercise
the nuclear option.
13
00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:33,270
Yeah, babe, listen,
cocktails sound great tonight.
14
00:00:33,271 --> 00:00:34,441
I'm sorry, what's that, Marcus?
15
00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:42,858
Got a client.
16
00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:46,633
It seems that one of our clients has, um...
17
00:00:46,634 --> 00:00:48,336
Well, been arrested!
18
00:00:48,337 --> 00:00:49,339
For...
19
00:00:50,743 --> 00:00:53,548
Assault!
20
00:00:53,549 --> 00:00:55,318
We've gotta run down
to the Courthouse, babe.
21
00:00:55,319 --> 00:00:57,557
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I spoke too soon.
22
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:01,598
All right, yeah, love you, too, bye.
23
00:01:01,599 --> 00:01:03,603
That's pathetic.
24
00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:05,774
Where you come from, you think you can lie
25
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,578
and buy your way out of any situation?
26
00:01:07,579 --> 00:01:09,415
That's not all.
27
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:12,889
There's also threaten,
blackmail, and seduce.
28
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,794
Well, that don't fly around here.
29
00:01:14,795 --> 00:01:16,825
Marcus, I'm cleaning out my closet,
30
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,876
and I need you to come
upstairs and hand me the boxes
31
00:01:18,877 --> 00:01:21,242
of my old panties that
I wore down to a thong.
32
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,624
Ruth, Marcus and I just
got a call from a client
33
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,094
who's been arrested for assault.
34
00:01:30,095 --> 00:01:31,563
We're gonna have to run
down to the courthouse.
35
00:01:31,564 --> 00:01:34,737
Aw, damn! Mama, I'm so sorry.
36
00:01:34,738 --> 00:01:37,610
'Cause I really wanted to
spend some mama/son time.
37
00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:39,581
I'm sorry, Ma.
38
00:01:39,582 --> 00:01:41,318
I'm proud of you, son.
39
00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:43,357
I'll just get your daughter to help me.
40
00:01:47,366 --> 00:01:50,004
You know, maybe we got a pretty
good thing going, you and I.
41
00:01:50,005 --> 00:01:52,343
- Maybe we do.
- Yeah.
42
00:01:52,344 --> 00:01:55,148
(Theme music plays )
Mama said she didn't raise no fool
43
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,754
One mind apart is
never stronger than two
44
00:01:57,755 --> 00:02:00,159
I'm about the life,
about to come on strong
45
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,197
Come on come on, come on, come on
46
00:02:02,198 --> 00:02:04,969
Whoa, yeah
47
00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:07,041
One mind apart is
never stronger than two
48
00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,513
Whoa, yeah
49
00:02:09,514 --> 00:02:12,252
Mama said she didn't raise no fool.
50
00:02:12,253 --> 00:02:14,056
So we want to thank you
guys for pointing out
51
00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:15,258
we have a class-action lawsuit.
52
00:02:15,259 --> 00:02:17,162
All in a day's work.
53
00:02:17,163 --> 00:02:19,768
You are mixed-martial-arts
fighters, athletes.
54
00:02:19,769 --> 00:02:21,071
They certainly don't ask
the men in your league
55
00:02:21,072 --> 00:02:25,072
to parade around in such
skimpy... deplorable outfits.
56
00:02:25,782 --> 00:02:28,253
Where's the rest of it?
57
00:02:28,254 --> 00:02:30,525
And now that we've learned
our case is much bigger...
58
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,295
Thanks to our fine legal sleuthing.
59
00:02:32,296 --> 00:02:34,534
We decided to go for
a higher-profile firm.
60
00:02:34,535 --> 00:02:36,371
One that specializes in class action.
61
00:02:36,372 --> 00:02:37,840
Michelson-Lawford.
62
00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:40,345
McLaw.
63
00:02:40,346 --> 00:02:42,384
Those hacks from TV?
64
00:02:42,385 --> 00:02:44,188
But their ads are so funny!
65
00:02:44,189 --> 00:02:45,404
I have to advise you,
66
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:47,194
I think you're making a terrible mistake.
67
00:02:47,195 --> 00:02:49,766
Sorry, fellas, you guys are a tad too...
68
00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:51,002
Mom-and-pop.
69
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:52,071
Mom-and-pop?
70
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:53,808
We are so not.
71
00:02:53,809 --> 00:02:56,514
Cookie time, boys! I made tiny cupcakes.
72
00:02:56,515 --> 00:02:59,119
And there's plenty for everyone.
And I brought you the beaters.
73
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,858
'Cause I know how you love to lick 'em.
74
00:03:04,499 --> 00:03:06,201
Mom-and-pop.
75
00:03:06,202 --> 00:03:08,807
Those girls didn't even know
their case was class-action
76
00:03:08,808 --> 00:03:09,910
till we told them.
77
00:03:09,911 --> 00:03:12,181
We do all the hard work loosening the jar.
78
00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:15,121
And, bam, McLaw just pops the lid.
79
00:03:15,122 --> 00:03:17,192
It's mc-noying.
80
00:03:17,193 --> 00:03:20,232
Who picks a law firm just
because one of the partners
81
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:23,338
squats and literally lays a golden egg?
82
00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:25,109
We should do a commercial.
83
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:27,180
Get ourselves a bigger presence.
84
00:03:27,181 --> 00:03:28,884
We could hardly have a smaller one.
85
00:03:28,885 --> 00:03:30,253
Guy standing on the corner with an arrow
86
00:03:30,254 --> 00:03:33,092
doesn't exactly spell "global reach."
87
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:34,563
Hector works hard.
88
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:36,901
Yeah, half the time he's so drunk,
89
00:03:36,902 --> 00:03:39,440
he's the one spinning.
90
00:03:39,441 --> 00:03:41,544
So how are we gonna sell ourselves?
91
00:03:41,545 --> 00:03:44,150
Braddock is the name brand here.
92
00:03:44,151 --> 00:03:46,455
My family's always been the gold standard
93
00:03:46,456 --> 00:03:47,858
of the legal profession.
94
00:03:47,859 --> 00:03:49,963
In fact, my great-granddad is credited
95
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,333
with multiple legal innovations.
96
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,637
For instance, Jury
Tampering used to be known
97
00:03:53,638 --> 00:03:55,575
as "Jury Braddocking."
98
00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:58,881
What about me? I got street cred.
99
00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:00,319
Maybe that's our angle.
100
00:04:02,891 --> 00:04:06,531
Well-bred meets street credits.
101
00:04:06,532 --> 00:04:07,635
It's street cred.
102
00:04:07,636 --> 00:04:10,072
Duly noted and discarded.
103
00:04:10,073 --> 00:04:12,177
We need something with razzle-dazzle,
104
00:04:12,178 --> 00:04:14,148
something to out-McLaw McLaw.
105
00:04:14,149 --> 00:04:16,420
You know what? We should
represent integrity.
106
00:04:16,421 --> 00:04:17,922
We'll give them both.
107
00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,426
First, we'll grab the audience's attention
108
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,263
by mocking lawyers like McLaw.
109
00:04:21,264 --> 00:04:23,635
Then you can squeeze in
your little integrity thing.
110
00:04:23,636 --> 00:04:25,673
Just us, keeping it real.
111
00:04:25,674 --> 00:04:29,348
We are one potent
one-two punch, my brother!
112
00:04:29,349 --> 00:04:30,919
Don't do that.
113
00:04:40,205 --> 00:04:43,078
What the... Laura?
114
00:04:43,079 --> 00:04:44,547
What the hell is all this?
115
00:04:44,548 --> 00:04:47,520
Oh, hi, dad, we are setting
up for your commercial shoot.
116
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,027
Marcus, you're just in time!
117
00:04:52,098 --> 00:04:53,967
Then let me go back out,
118
00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:56,974
because whatever this is,
I want to be late for it.
119
00:04:56,975 --> 00:05:00,982
This is showmanship, my
friend. Don't you remember?
120
00:05:00,983 --> 00:05:03,254
First we do the flash, and then we do...
121
00:05:03,255 --> 00:05:06,260
- What was it you wanted to do?
- My little integrity thing.
122
00:05:06,261 --> 00:05:08,532
How are we gonna do that with
you dressed like Mr. Monopoly?
123
00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:10,937
You'll see.
124
00:05:10,938 --> 00:05:12,708
Let the magic begin!
125
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:15,380
Braddock and Jackson. Take one.
126
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:16,951
I've always wanted to do that.
127
00:05:18,955 --> 00:05:21,727
Losing half of everything
128
00:05:21,728 --> 00:05:24,433
in your divorce?
129
00:05:24,434 --> 00:05:26,069
If I survive this,
130
00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:28,041
I'm calling Braddock and Jackson.
131
00:05:28,042 --> 00:05:30,113
They're the best lawyers I ever saw.
132
00:05:33,453 --> 00:05:35,290
Tell me again why you're the magician?
133
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,993
Because I own a tuxedo,
I'm paying for this,
134
00:05:36,994 --> 00:05:38,063
and you fit in the box.
135
00:05:40,168 --> 00:05:42,038
Allen: And action!
136
00:05:42,039 --> 00:05:45,645
I slipped in front of a very rich bank.
137
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:50,423
Now how could a woman of
only 38 have broken a hip?
138
00:05:50,424 --> 00:05:52,427
Who will help me?
139
00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:54,065
Yippee-ki-ay!
140
00:05:56,337 --> 00:05:59,042
I'll help. I'll help myself to your money.
141
00:06:01,347 --> 00:06:04,686
Tired of two-bit bandit
lawyers robbing you blind?
142
00:06:04,687 --> 00:06:06,123
With Braddock and Jackson,
143
00:06:06,124 --> 00:06:08,127
you'll have the good guys on your side.
144
00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:10,733
Hands up, Varmint!
145
00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:14,274
I'm no match for the big
guns of Braddock and Jackson.
146
00:06:14,275 --> 00:06:15,378
I give up.
147
00:06:20,522 --> 00:06:24,522
Braddock and Jackson,
"Immigration sucks," take one.
148
00:06:25,165 --> 00:06:26,501
Allen: Action!
149
00:06:26,502 --> 00:06:30,309
(Imitating sobbing)
150
00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:31,812
(Russian accent) Oh, no!
151
00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:34,250
Immigration paper have expired.
152
00:06:34,251 --> 00:06:36,689
But I love this land of U.S. and A.
153
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:39,762
What else can I do?
154
00:06:39,763 --> 00:06:42,535
I know someone you can call.
155
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:45,240
Spending all your green on a green card?
156
00:06:45,241 --> 00:06:47,714
Let Braddock and Jackson light your way.
157
00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:52,090
Was that supposed to happen?
158
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:56,098
Just say your line!
159
00:06:56,099 --> 00:06:59,104
Es blamos Espa?os.
160
00:06:59,105 --> 00:07:00,842
Okay, somebody get a fire extinguisher.
161
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,299
Finally, well-bred meets street credits.
162
00:07:13,271 --> 00:07:15,442
Es blamos Espa?os!
163
00:07:18,716 --> 00:07:22,256
Now, you have seen the inspired footage.
164
00:07:22,257 --> 00:07:25,796
Now what I need from you
if you honest feedback.
165
00:07:25,797 --> 00:07:28,837
Yeah. (Chuckles) Tell him what you think.
166
00:07:28,838 --> 00:07:30,273
Well, I'll say it.
167
00:07:30,274 --> 00:07:33,413
Laura, you put too much
salt on this popcorn.
168
00:07:33,414 --> 00:07:35,985
May we please focus on the subject at hand?
169
00:07:35,986 --> 00:07:38,391
That's a minute of my
life I'll never get back.
170
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,961
I think I've died a little inside,
171
00:07:39,962 --> 00:07:41,798
and I think if that ever goes on the air,
172
00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:43,235
you're never driving me to school again.
173
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,575
Anyone else?
174
00:07:46,576 --> 00:07:48,913
I thought I was really well-cast.
175
00:07:48,914 --> 00:07:51,285
Grandma, you look really good on camera.
176
00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:52,755
Well, they say the camera adds ten pounds,
177
00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:54,391
but I didn't see it on me.
178
00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:57,465
People, may we please stop
with this self-obsession?
179
00:07:57,466 --> 00:07:59,469
Now...
180
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:02,743
What about my performance?
181
00:08:02,744 --> 00:08:04,580
Allen, are you sure that commercial
182
00:08:04,581 --> 00:08:05,984
is the image you want for this firm?
183
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,723
Thank you!
184
00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:10,660
What do you mean?
185
00:08:10,661 --> 00:08:13,266
You were a little off-putting in places.
186
00:08:13,267 --> 00:08:16,674
But some of it was...
a little less off-putting.
187
00:08:18,044 --> 00:08:20,882
Yeah, Allen, you kind of
come off like a politician.
188
00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:23,755
And who doesn't love a politician?
189
00:08:23,756 --> 00:08:25,926
Oh, you know who would
have made a better you?
190
00:08:25,927 --> 00:08:27,597
What was I thinking?
191
00:08:27,598 --> 00:08:29,835
Bunch of amateurs. You know what?
192
00:08:29,836 --> 00:08:32,040
I'm gonna take this to a
focus group of real people
193
00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:33,844
to get some opinions that
actually mean something.
194
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,287
I really did look good, didn't I?
195
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,669
This is the same company my father uses
196
00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:47,073
to test his big cases.
197
00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:49,043
These people are here to
give us their honest opinion
198
00:08:49,044 --> 00:08:51,047
in exchange for nothing
more than some Trail Mix
199
00:08:51,048 --> 00:08:53,753
and a gift card to TJ Maxx.
200
00:08:53,754 --> 00:08:56,927
So what are some initial thoughts?
201
00:08:56,928 --> 00:08:59,733
There was something about
that Braddock guys eyes.
202
00:08:59,734 --> 00:09:01,503
They're shifty.
203
00:09:01,504 --> 00:09:03,609
Maybe more beady than shifty.
204
00:09:06,815 --> 00:09:09,053
I'm talking more about
what's below the surface,
205
00:09:09,054 --> 00:09:10,790
his character.
206
00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:13,462
Oh, that's easy. Insincere, wooden.
207
00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:14,631
I'd say arrogant.
208
00:09:14,632 --> 00:09:16,903
Definitely condescending.
209
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:20,345
Yeah, I wanna remember this forever.
210
00:09:23,852 --> 00:09:27,559
Okay, so apart from "fingers too stubby,"
211
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,466
and "jaw too clenchy,"
the ones that seem to be
212
00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:32,437
on everyone's list are "unlikeable,"
213
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:35,342
"arrogant," and "smarmy."
214
00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:37,915
What they call arrogant, I
call forthright and confident.
215
00:09:37,916 --> 00:09:40,588
And we Braddocks are
famous for our jaw lines.
216
00:09:40,589 --> 00:09:41,890
We get them from grandmother.
217
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:44,396
They nicknamed her "The Nutcracker."
218
00:09:44,397 --> 00:09:46,602
Of course, it had nothing
to do with her jaw.
219
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,843
Don't throw your grandmother under the bus
220
00:09:50,844 --> 00:09:53,482
just because they don't like you.
221
00:09:53,483 --> 00:09:55,152
Oh, these people wouldn't like anyone.
222
00:09:55,153 --> 00:09:56,957
Here' I'll prove it to you.
223
00:09:56,958 --> 00:10:00,431
What about the goofy-looking
black guy speaking Spanish?
224
00:10:00,432 --> 00:10:03,537
I liked him.
225
00:10:03,538 --> 00:10:05,642
He was funny.
226
00:10:05,643 --> 00:10:07,814
The whole commercial should
have been that black dude.
227
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,422
If they met me in the flesh,
they'd see they're wrong.
228
00:10:12,423 --> 00:10:14,026
Oh, yeah.
229
00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:17,801
That's a real good idea.
230
00:10:17,802 --> 00:10:20,039
Mr. Braddock, I don't
think this is a good idea.
231
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,848
Mindy, Mindy, I'm just trying
to understand the disconnect.
232
00:10:23,849 --> 00:10:25,752
You've got a runaway focus group,
233
00:10:25,753 --> 00:10:27,522
and I am here to fill the leadership void.
234
00:10:27,523 --> 00:10:31,030
Now, as you can all see, I
am a regular Joseph Lunchpail,
235
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,502
just like you are.
236
00:10:33,503 --> 00:10:37,443
That's it, Allen. Turn
on that Braddock charm.
237
00:10:37,444 --> 00:10:39,113
Do you people have any idea who I am
238
00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:41,652
or the fine legal heritage
from which I descend?
239
00:10:41,653 --> 00:10:43,489
We all know who your father is.
240
00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:45,795
He heads up a big-time
law firm, and look at you.
241
00:10:45,796 --> 00:10:47,967
"Black sheep" ring a bell?
242
00:10:47,968 --> 00:10:49,202
Oh, you don't know anything about me.
243
00:10:49,203 --> 00:10:51,007
I am God damned delightful!
244
00:10:57,521 --> 00:10:58,856
There you are.
245
00:10:58,857 --> 00:11:01,228
We got closing arguments in ten minutes.
246
00:11:01,229 --> 00:11:03,767
I took the liberty of throwing our ad
247
00:11:03,768 --> 00:11:05,804
up on YouTube last night.
248
00:11:05,805 --> 00:11:06,941
No.
249
00:11:06,942 --> 00:11:10,715
And basically YouTube threw up on me.
250
00:11:10,716 --> 00:11:13,454
Man, you can't pay no attention to this.
251
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,625
You're a Braddock, right?
252
00:11:15,927 --> 00:11:17,864
I am.
253
00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:20,971
Braddocks bend. We don't break.
254
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,574
Are you Allen Braddock?
255
00:11:22,575 --> 00:11:23,943
Why, yes, I am.
256
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,682
You are hereby officially served.
257
00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:34,702
It's a cease-and-desist
letter from my father.
258
00:11:37,574 --> 00:11:40,279
"If you insist on advertising
using the Braddock pedigree,
259
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,018
thereby sullying the value
and reputation of said name,
260
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:46,793
we will pursue all available legal action.
261
00:11:46,794 --> 00:11:49,766
Sincerely, Allen J. Braddock."
262
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:52,071
Braddocks don't break, right?
263
00:11:52,072 --> 00:11:55,078
Apparently I'm no longer a Braddock.
264
00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:01,058
Mr. Braddock?
265
00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:04,097
Mr. Braddock!
266
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,099
Allen.
267
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,837
Closing arguments. You're up.
268
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:13,818
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
269
00:12:13,819 --> 00:12:16,124
the one question we have
to ask ourselves is...
270
00:12:18,596 --> 00:12:19,865
What's the point?
271
00:12:22,571 --> 00:12:24,642
Maybe he's guilty.
272
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,078
Maybe he's not.
273
00:12:28,184 --> 00:12:30,220
What difference does it make?
274
00:12:30,221 --> 00:12:31,957
I object.
275
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:33,794
You can't object to your
own partner's argument.
276
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:37,035
Then I object.
277
00:12:37,036 --> 00:12:39,974
What are you doing? Where
the hell are you going?!
278
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:42,213
Where are any of us going, Marcus?
279
00:12:42,214 --> 00:12:46,155
Once you cut the umbilical cord...
280
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,993
You're just floating in
space till you cease to exist.
281
00:12:49,663 --> 00:12:51,868
Or cease and desist.
282
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,112
Hey! Hey! You walk out
on me, I'll kill you!
283
00:12:58,349 --> 00:12:59,851
Order!
284
00:12:59,852 --> 00:13:03,325
Uh, he meant that as a figure of speech.
285
00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:04,694
No, I didn't!
286
00:13:04,695 --> 00:13:06,331
I'll kill him like I killed that other guy!
287
00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:08,837
Your Honor, we wanna change our plea.
288
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:10,073
Bailiff! Clear them!
289
00:13:12,914 --> 00:13:14,383
Oh, that's a big boy here!
290
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,076
I can't believe Allen
walked out on me like that.
291
00:13:26,077 --> 00:13:27,211
It's sad.
292
00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:29,149
I just left him another message.
293
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,953
Check out his new greeting.
294
00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,592
You've reached the
voice-mail of the person
295
00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:36,030
formerly known as Allen Braddock.
296
00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:38,302
Leave a message at the tone.
297
00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:41,009
(Voice breaks) Or don't.
It really doesn't matter.
298
00:13:43,314 --> 00:13:46,052
Not that I care, but is Allen here?
299
00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:48,056
He texted last night
saying he was working late,
300
00:13:48,057 --> 00:13:50,863
but he never came home, not that I care.
301
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:53,234
If Lizzie's worried, this isn't good.
302
00:13:53,235 --> 00:13:55,573
Allen doesn't strike me
as someone who'd fare well
303
00:13:55,574 --> 00:13:57,510
on the mean streets of Chicago.
304
00:13:57,511 --> 00:13:58,947
Fine.
305
00:13:58,948 --> 00:14:00,850
Let me check my friend finder.
306
00:14:00,851 --> 00:14:02,454
You have your stepdad on friend finder?
307
00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:05,895
Normally I use it to avoid him.
308
00:14:05,896 --> 00:14:08,601
Oh, hey, according to this,
he's right around the corner.
309
00:14:08,602 --> 00:14:11,106
He's at the bar at 10:00 AM?
310
00:14:11,107 --> 00:14:13,412
Oh, this really isn't good. I'll be back.
311
00:14:15,516 --> 00:14:17,486
Mike?
312
00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:19,558
Drinks for everybody!
313
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,497
Allen, what are you doing here?
314
00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:24,334
It's 10:00 in the morning.
315
00:14:24,335 --> 00:14:25,437
Oh, in that case,
316
00:14:25,438 --> 00:14:26,641
put an egg in that sucker.
317
00:14:29,881 --> 00:14:31,651
Hector, I pay you to spin that sign.
318
00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:33,521
I don't pay you to drink.
319
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:35,358
You pay me to spin the sign.
320
00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:36,529
Mr. Allen pay me to drink.
321
00:14:39,168 --> 00:14:42,006
Marcus, let me show you
what Hector taught me here.
322
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,142
Oh, sorry. No, no, no.
323
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,514
(Speaks Spanish)
324
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,017
Come over here. You go down.
325
00:14:47,018 --> 00:14:48,154
Watch this.
326
00:14:59,913 --> 00:15:02,484
I'll pay for that, too, Mike!
327
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:06,025
My name is not Mike.
328
00:15:06,026 --> 00:15:10,100
My name is not Braddock!
329
00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:13,507
Lizzie said you didn't
come home last night.
330
00:15:13,508 --> 00:15:15,480
I slept in Hector's van.
331
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:21,290
I've always had the safety
net of that Braddock name.
332
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:24,197
Without it, I... I got nothing.
333
00:15:24,198 --> 00:15:27,137
I am nothing.
334
00:15:27,138 --> 00:15:30,244
I'm just a two-bit storefront lawyer
335
00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:32,047
from the south side of Chicago.
336
00:15:32,048 --> 00:15:34,118
Grow the hell up.
337
00:15:34,119 --> 00:15:36,056
I love what I do.
338
00:15:36,057 --> 00:15:38,261
If you don't love what
you do, then you know what?
339
00:15:38,262 --> 00:15:40,533
Crawl back to your daddy and beg.
340
00:15:40,534 --> 00:15:42,737
Marcus, Marcus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
341
00:15:42,738 --> 00:15:44,407
I didn't mean to insult you
342
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:46,412
and everything that you've built.
343
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,216
I haven't built anything.
344
00:15:48,217 --> 00:15:51,522
The nanny used to put
together my Lincoln Logs.
345
00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:53,761
Pull it together, man.
346
00:15:53,762 --> 00:15:57,502
All this crying is
making your products run.
347
00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:59,740
Damn it, you're a good lawyer!
348
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:02,012
Focus group didn't think so.
349
00:16:02,013 --> 00:16:04,150
They were just mean.
350
00:16:04,151 --> 00:16:06,055
Mean focus group.
351
00:16:11,534 --> 00:16:14,874
Man, I've never seen
Allen like that before.
352
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:16,478
Well, where is he now?
353
00:16:16,479 --> 00:16:18,583
Face-down in Hector's van.
354
00:16:18,584 --> 00:16:22,992
Well, he's not going anywhere
'cause that van's up on blocks.
355
00:16:22,993 --> 00:16:26,800
Maybe we were all too hard on
Allen about that commercial.
356
00:16:26,801 --> 00:16:28,103
It's not just the commercial.
357
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:30,007
His father's letter really messed him up.
358
00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:31,611
What's his dad like?
359
00:16:31,612 --> 00:16:33,782
Think Lord Voldemort.
360
00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:36,956
Just less cuddly.
361
00:16:36,957 --> 00:16:40,196
It sounds like he just needs
to get his confidence back.
362
00:16:40,197 --> 00:16:41,900
He feels worthless.
363
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:44,472
And we have to convince him that he's not.
364
00:16:44,473 --> 00:16:45,584
How do we do that?
365
00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:47,144
We'll tell him everything
we like about him.
366
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:51,145
Okay, good. Like what?
367
00:16:51,722 --> 00:16:53,559
Anything that pops in your head.
368
00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,972
For real?
369
00:16:59,973 --> 00:17:02,210
The man's worked here six months.
370
00:17:02,211 --> 00:17:04,815
You think it's so easy? You start.
371
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,052
I got this.
372
00:17:06,053 --> 00:17:08,624
You know, after spending a day with Allen,
373
00:17:08,625 --> 00:17:11,530
I really appreciate my alone time.
374
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,667
Really? That's all you've got?
375
00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:16,541
Hey, I came up with
something. Lizzie's next.
376
00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:18,512
Well, um...
377
00:17:18,513 --> 00:17:21,518
Allen's got really good credit rating.
378
00:17:21,519 --> 00:17:23,790
There you go. He's dependable.
379
00:17:23,791 --> 00:17:27,197
With Allen, I don't
worry about being judged.
380
00:17:27,198 --> 00:17:29,803
I know I'm being judged.
381
00:17:29,804 --> 00:17:33,177
Ooh, Allen really loves my cooking.
382
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,780
But then, who doesn't?
383
00:17:34,781 --> 00:17:37,954
Ooh! I got one.
384
00:17:37,955 --> 00:17:41,695
If someone can make Allen money,
he has a way of making them feel
385
00:17:41,696 --> 00:17:44,969
like he really cares about that person.
386
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:47,508
No, if that's all y'all have,
387
00:17:47,509 --> 00:17:49,846
Allen's gonna have a hell of a funeral.
388
00:17:49,847 --> 00:17:53,855
What's being likable got to do
with being a good lawyer anyway?
389
00:17:55,893 --> 00:17:58,799
You're right, Lizzie! Hey, you know what?
390
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,070
I'm gonna call that woman
from the focus group.
391
00:18:01,071 --> 00:18:03,143
I think she was asking
all the wrong questions.
392
00:18:07,785 --> 00:18:10,290
Oh, you know what else
is great about Allen?
393
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:12,596
Oh, no, that was my last stepdad.
394
00:18:19,245 --> 00:18:21,048
What the hell are we doing back here?
395
00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:23,086
You must really enjoy seeing me suffer.
396
00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:25,959
Oh, I do, but you know,
397
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,529
out of all the questions that they asked,
398
00:18:27,530 --> 00:18:29,768
they never asked the most important one.
399
00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:31,137
What is that?
400
00:18:31,138 --> 00:18:34,177
Step over and watch the magic.
401
00:18:34,178 --> 00:18:38,085
I have some further questions
about Allen Braddock.
402
00:18:38,086 --> 00:18:40,857
Oh, God, we talked about this!
403
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:43,496
He's a jerk wad!
404
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,968
He's an ass hat.
405
00:18:45,969 --> 00:18:49,242
But would you hire that
ass hat to be your lawyer?
406
00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:51,481
Man: In a second.
407
00:18:51,482 --> 00:18:54,020
I'd rather have him on
my side than against me.
408
00:18:54,021 --> 00:18:58,229
Yeah, I mean, who wants
a nice guy as your lawyer?
409
00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:01,803
But last time you compared
him unfavorably to his father.
410
00:19:01,804 --> 00:19:04,241
He's most definitely not his dad.
411
00:19:04,242 --> 00:19:07,315
But this guy seems like he'd do anything.
412
00:19:07,316 --> 00:19:09,453
Clearly, he's desperate to win.
413
00:19:09,454 --> 00:19:12,192
That's who I want representing me.
414
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:14,296
But you said he was unlikable.
415
00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:16,502
All good lawyers are bastards,
416
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:18,607
but I could probably afford this one.
417
00:19:22,047 --> 00:19:23,148
Did you hear that?
418
00:19:23,149 --> 00:19:24,285
Yeah!
419
00:19:24,286 --> 00:19:26,289
I'm a cheap bastard!
420
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,161
But I'm the people's cheap bastard!
421
00:19:29,162 --> 00:19:33,437
I'm Allen Braddock, and
I endorse this message!
422
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:35,376
I'm Marcus Jackson,
423
00:19:35,377 --> 00:19:37,414
and I endorse you going
home and taking a shower.
424
00:19:44,864 --> 00:19:46,499
Well, this is fascinating.
425
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,573
So the same traits that
make me a bad person
426
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,643
make me a great lawyer.
427
00:19:51,644 --> 00:19:53,449
That's what the people
are saying, my broth...
428
00:19:56,188 --> 00:19:58,358
- Say that again?
- Nothing.
429
00:19:58,359 --> 00:19:59,895
You were about to call me brother.
430
00:19:59,896 --> 00:20:00,915
But I didn't.
431
00:20:00,916 --> 00:20:02,917
Come on, admit it.
432
00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:04,418
I'm not completely unlikable.
433
00:20:04,419 --> 00:20:08,419
In fact, someone liked me enough
434
00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:11,192
to get all those people back together again
435
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:13,194
just 'cause his friend was suffering
436
00:20:13,195 --> 00:20:14,996
and he wanted to help.
437
00:20:14,997 --> 00:20:16,664
Don't make too much of it.
438
00:20:16,665 --> 00:20:18,499
I just did what was
good for the partnership.
439
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,635
Come on. You care about me.
440
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,638
Soul brother hug. Come on, bring it in.
441
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,907
Bring it in. That's it! All right!
442
00:20:26,908 --> 00:20:28,175
Come on! Oh, yeah!
443
00:20:28,176 --> 00:20:30,444
All right, all right.
444
00:20:30,445 --> 00:20:32,481
Don't do that.
445
00:20:37,405 --> 00:20:40,707
Hi, I'm Marcus Jackson.
446
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:43,710
It's tough to find honest
legal representation.
447
00:20:43,711 --> 00:20:47,114
At Braddock and Jackson,
well-bred meets street cred.
448
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:50,684
Braddock and Jackson. Represent.
449
00:20:50,685 --> 00:20:52,854
Hablamos Espa?ol.
450
00:20:52,855 --> 00:20:55,594
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -
451
00:20:55,644 --> 00:21:00,194
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