Original subtitles

I need to fire seven people.

Look, these are people that we have worked with for 15 years.

Just do it.

You need me to come up there and hold your hand?

- Gordon asked me out. - I'm really sorry.

If anybody doesn't know him, it's you.

I'm gonna make my own decisions.

Alex is the volunteer coordinator here.

Would you please stop talking to me like I'm an idiot?

You're not an idiot.

- You're a little late today. - You should dock my pay.

Will you marry me?

We're getting married!

Welcome to crazy town.

Would you stop that, please?

It's just so genius.

Whoever came up with this is a genius.

Nobody? Nothin'?

Bob's walking in.

Showtime.

- Here we go. - You guys, seriously.

How big a deal can this testing thing be?

- If we tank, the shoe is history. - You're kidding me ?

We spent three months developing this and then eight people...

The shoe business is hell, Sarah.

I've done a preliminary tabulation.

You have to keep in mind...

Please...

It's not good.

Because...

it's so great?

I'm afraid not.

The beeping gave the parents a massive headache.

An easy fix. It doesn't have to beep.

- It can chirp. - Bottom line?

DOA.

Do over again?

I'm really sorry.

Clear!

I like this!

This is cool.

- It's got new carpet. - This is cute.

It's actually kind of perfect for what we need.

Jabbar can walk to school.

It's close to everything.

How cool is it that the neighbors have twin five-year-old boys?

They were twins, right?

- They were. - I thought I was seeing...

Double?

It's fate.

It's kind of fate.

An expensive fate.

I know. It's a stretch.

It's just...

I still have loan payments on my equipment,

and then I have fees for my boat.

- The boat? - Yeah, my boat.

My vessel.

I have dock fees and maintenance costs.

You gotta keep the barnacles off.

Are you planning on keeping the boat?

'cause we're moving in together. Why would you need the boat?

I guess that's a good point.

Jabbar loves it.

I guess it is silly...

to keep the boat.

We're sellin' the boat.

Son, I don't wanna belabor the point,

but the clicker shoe thing was important to your sister.

I don't wanna talk about it.

We can't have that many bags of chips.

One for everyone.

We can all share one. Not four.

- Let the boy have his chips. - Let the boy have his chips.

Thanks a lot, dad. All right, two.

You can have two bags of chips. That's the limit.

Come on.

Thank you.

How'bout another focus group?

Dad, focus groups cost a lot of money, like $15,000 to do it right.

- We're seriously cash strapped now. - That's the time when you go balls out.

It's throwing good money after bad.

There's no point in spending money developing a shoe that nobody wants.

I may as well just flush the money down the toilet.

What's the alternative? Don't do anything?

17 items.

- I'm buying those. - What are you doing?

- 17 items. - Gimme a break, will ya, kid?

- That's seven items too many. - I'm buying those! What you doing?

Max, It's okay.

That's 17 items.

I'm in a hurry.

- Will you leave it? Leave it alone. - There's too items than allowed!

He has more items. Dad!

He has 17 items. Have you seen that?

There are some people that think the rules don't apply to them.

Let him go.

There's some people that should mind their own damn business.

- Just mind your business. - What'd you say?

- Now he's involved? - Yeah, I am involved.

It's okay. Can you help Max? Go get some more chips.

Some more chips and some more pretzels. Can you help Max?

Can you hurry this up?

Jackass.

Sorry?

- What is your problem? - I don't have a problem.

You have a problem. a) you can't read. It's ten items...

- That kid of yours has a problem. - No, my son...

- You should train him better. - What is that supposed to mean?

I feel sorry for you.

- You feel sorry for me? Why? - You've got a burden, he's a retard.

United Team

Blackart

Lafeelicita

Lestat

Lili B

MiniBen314

Salomon

valpi

2x08 - If This Boat Is A Rockin'

So I can use regular taco meat?

I think they'll like it.

Thanks, Suze. I will.

I gotta go.

We got American beer.

How'd it go?

Did you get everything on the list?

Yeah, I think so.

Is everything okay?

Just had a problem with Max and the chips.

You know, how many he got.

'Scuse me.

Want a beer?

What happened?

- Nothin'. - Something happened.

- Nothing happened. - Did Max have a breakdown?

He had a tantrum.

I told Gaby not...

We've been working on this...

Kristina, I said nothing happened.

Don't snap at me. I just asked.

I'm gonna take a shower.

I just mean there's so much that's going on all the time.

Like every minute I spend here is worth more

than anything I've spent...

- I don't know. You know what I mean? - It's pretty cool...

I guess.

You don't need to be so modest.

It's amazing, actually.

The big moving day is tomorrow, and it's something special.

The look on those kids' faces when they walk through the door...

Pretty much the best part of the job.

- I bet. - Hands down.

Tomorrow if you're not doing anything after school, if you're not busy,

you should come by.

I would love to.

I would really love to.

- I have to go to a pep rally. - A pep rally?

I'm the president of the junior class.

So I have to deal with that.

Of course you are. The president.

Let's not say that.

I don't know.

We're renaming the school mascots

from the rough riders 'cause it's archaic,

and that's it.

Too bad. I would love for you to see it.

Me too.

Can you just take that box up before you leave?

Is this one kitchen? Too?

We're gettin' close.

I'm gonna get the liquids, daddy.

You're gonna get the liquids?

Will you get me one of the orange liquids?

I can't remember. Do you like your dogs burnt?

Very burnt? Or completely black?

Burnt.

Then we are ready to eat now.

One plain hot dog.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

This might be our last time eatin' hot dogs on the back of the frigate.

Why?

Because we're getting that great new apartment,

and we're probably gonna have to sell the boat.

I feel the same way.

Can we keep the boat too?

It'd be kind of excessive, I think.

Why?

We have to pay for the new place.

You can't have everything.

But you're a boat guy.

You think I'm a boat guy?

Ever since I met you, you lived here.

This is your boat.

You're a boat guy.

And this is a houseboat. See?

That's pretty good logic.

This boat is you.

- Sorry. - Great idea.

No, that's okay. You don't have to cheer me up.

Listen, you, Adam and I have to quietly slip away

- for the afternoon. - What for?

Because we have a tradition here, every time we test a shoe.

I rent a limo fully stocked, and if the shoe tests well,

we go out and celebrate.

And if the shoes fails, we go out and drink ourselves

into a businessy stupor. Let's go.

My brother Adam does that?

Every time. And since the clicker shoe was your brainchild,

- you'll come with. Come on, let's go. - Now?

It's like 3:30.

- I'm the boss. Let's go. - All right.

Don't blow your brains out just yet.

Hang on a second, Terry.

From manufacturing? Tell him you got to go. Put on your drinking shoes.

Not this time, Gordon.

I'll call you back.

Braverman, come on.

- Come on, Braverman. - Look, guys, seriously,

I just wanna stay here and mourn in my own...

- swamped-with-work. - It's tradition!

I know. I've been a part of it.

But this year I wanna stay here and get some things done.

I've got work to do.

You sure?

He's gonna stay here.

- Suit yourself. - All right.

But I'm gonna...

- You know? - Yeah, have fun. Go for it.

- You have fun. - Yeah, you too.

Have fun. Have fun celebrating.

Excuse me, Mr. President,

I have a few questions for you.

Like where do you think you're going?

- I'm leaving. - You're ditching?

- Yeah. I am. - You can't leave me in there.

This is your big deal. I'm in there for you.

- Then don't stay. It's not important. - Wait a second.

Then, I'm gonna come with you.

I'm gonna help a homeless family move, if you wanna do that, so...

That doesn't sound fun.

- Okay, well, see you. - But wait.

You could leave me at a coffee shop,

and then we could meet up.

I might be getting a different way home.

That doesn't even make sense.

Why are you acting so strange?

I'm not acting strange...

You have a crush on one of the homeless guys?

You have a crush on a homeless guy!

I'm leaving.

Can't wait tell the family about this.

Be safe. You look good.

And clean. He's gonna like that.

Thank you so much.

- You deserve it, bro. - Appreciate it.

No problem, man.

You are such a blessing.

Enjoy it.

What's up?

- What happened to the pep rally? - I don't know. It got postponed.

Great.

- Am I like interrupting? - No.

- You'll have dinner? - No, we're finishing moving 'em in.

What's up, Jose? How you doing, brother?

- Getting big on me. - We made you this.

It's a lanyard. It's for my keys?

Purple's my favorite color. I'm gonna put it on.

- It's nice? - It is, it is.

Thank you, guys.

Go play. Go ahead, enjoy.

Those guys are awesome.

So since you're here and we're not finished working yet,

- you mind if... - What are we doing?

I was just... I figured you'd wanna help.

Right. Obviously.

Obviously, that's why I came.

Well, I can't even imagine Adam reacting that way.

I just kept going on and on about that clicker shoe thing, you know?

I don't know. Maybe it upset him.

No. It'd take a whole lot more than that to make Adam punch someone.

Adam doesn't punch people.

You punch people.

He's a under a lot of pressure at work.

He's got Max to deal with, you know.

Then you need to talk to him.

Tried talking to him. He didn't want to talk about it.

Didn't want to hear what I had to say.

Try again.

What's up?

You tired?

- You sure? - Yeah.

You tried to move that couch by yourself.

Please don't make fun of me.

No, I was just thinking this day has been...

Really, really great.

- Really? - Like... This is the day

that this family's life changed?

I just feel like it meant something.

And I don't want to spend like...

any more time worrying about things, that don't matter.

Like school stuff. Like dances and grades.

- It's meaningless. - What you're doing is not meaningless.

No, I know.

I know that, obviously...

Listen, you have a bright future. You're gonna be somebody's boss one day.

Student government? Come on.

Yeah. Of course.

I'm pretty sure that you got straight As in school.

Great. Super-predictable.

Straight As. Got a "B"

in my sixth grade math and science class.

You just dangerous. Living life on the edge!

Why do you want me to tell you things so you can like make fun of me?

- It's not fair! - No, because you remembered

the first time that you got a "B". Your one and only.

That's what I mean.

Why?

I want you to take this.

And remember today...

because today matters.

- It does. - I know.

You did a lotta good work. You helped out.

- You moved couches. - I mean you put a lanyard

around my neck.

That's not a good idea.

I don't want you...

No, it's okay.

- I'm sure she's fine. - How do you know that?

I assume it's just... Look, she's here right now.

- Your mother's been worried about you. - Where have you been?

- I'm sorry. I apologize. - You're sorry.

- What? - I've called 3 times. Where were you?

I was helping the Rodriguez family move.

I don't know who they are.

The homeless family that grandma introduced me to.

You helped them move?

That's great.

I don't care where you were.

You need to call me and tell me. I was worried sick.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

It's not a big deal.

Just give her a call.

- I'll see you later. - You're gonna...

I gotta go to Crosby's boat thing.

The last time I was in a limo was 11th grade,

when Danny Zelkind

had saved up his grocery delivery money for a year

to get a limo to take me to junior prom. And we never even went to the dance.

We just drove and drove. We drove all the way to Napa.

We opened up the roof, and we looked at the stars.

- That's it? - That's it.

- How far did he get? - What?

It was prom night, after all.

He got to second base, as I remember.

The guy delivered groceries for a year and rented a limo for you,

and all he got was second base? I mean, wh...

Hello. He got to second base with...

You know... I mean, come on.

- God. - Seriously.

There's something I wanna show you.

The retractable golf shoe?

That's right. Spikes retract so you can finish a round of golf,

and they convert right into a walking shoe.

There's the Flipperoo. A walking shoe that converts to a flip-flop.

- Did any of these get made? - Not exactly.

I know why you're showing me this.

- Why is that? - You're showing me all your failures

so that I don't feel bad about mine.

You're very sweet.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

What would Danny Zelkind do?

Sydney, come help me with my drum set.

You just pop it right on top.

Damn, Joel, you're good!

It's pretty advanced.

Hey, Jasmine, I'd be remiss in my duty

as the last to marry a Braverman if I didn't tell you something.

- What? - It's not too late.

You can still save yourself.

You think you're marrying one, but you're marrying the whole gang.

Yeah. I kinda sense that.

- And they're all crazy. - So what do you do?

No, there's nothing you can do.

It's infectious. Bravermantitus.

It slowly eats away at your brain until you become exactly like them.

- What? White? - White.

- That strong? - It's that strong.

So Jasmine thinks I should sell the boat.

Why wouldn't you sell the boat?

For one, I have a history of selling things and then regretting it,

like my '68 telecaster?

I sold it, and a year later, it tripled in value.

The boat's not gonna triple in value. The boat's gonna sink.

It's not just about the money.

I had some of my seminal moments

on that boat.

- You talking about your sex life now? - No, not just that, you know.

I came of age on there.

I've been in a relationship with that boat for a long time.

And Jabbar likes it.

Jabbar's six.

Well, the boat's part of me.

I'm a boat guy.

And he agrees.

Sell the boat.

You're a grownup.

- Okay, let's take a break. - Come on. We got so much crap to pack,

- I don't have time for a break. - I said... Let's take a break.

I wanna talk to you about what happened the other night.

I don't want to talk about what happened.

I know you don't wanna talk about what happened.

I know...

It's hard...

to talk about your feelings.

Who are you?

I'm not sure.

Dad, come on. That guy was a jackass, right?

And he said things he shouldn't have and, you know,

paid the price. I think anybody would have punched that guy.

- Adam. - What?

Ever since

you were a little boy,

you've always managed

to be in control.

It astounded me.

I so...

admired you for that.

And I still do.

I guess somebody had to be in control, right?

I was just trying to balance you out, you know,

'cause you were explosive all the time.

You'd even yell at a stranger.

Remember that waitress who spilled the soup in your lap?

Or when Crosby broke those black chess pieces made out of onyx,

you know, you were so enraged about...

Or when Sarah and Seth came home stoned at 3:00 A.M. from that concert.

You went berserk on that guy.

I was just trying not to be like you, so...

The fact that you admire that is pretty funny.

But now I'm the angry guy, you know?

Now I'm angry at everything. I'm angry that...

I had to fire people at work because of the economy,

because I work for a jackass who's been promising me for 15 years

that he's gonna give me part ownership of the company, and he never will.

I'm pissed off that I have to hold Sarah's hand,

that she can't go and find a job on her own.

You know, I'm pissed off I can't do more for my son.

I'm pissed off that he has Asperger's.

I'm pissed off that you admire me for being in control,

because I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything about any of it.

I can't save those people's jobs, I can't make my kid not have Asperger's,

I can't keep some asshole

from calling him a retard in a supermarket,

so what good does it do me to control my feelings?

And honestly, it felt good when I hit that guy.

It felt good not to be in control.

I'm just angry all the time.

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

You know, I can't go around punching people in supermarkets.

I got your back, Adam.

Thanks, pop.

I'm gonna go pack some stuff up.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! We have to go. Gordon, get up, get up.

I'm sorry, we have to go. We have to go right now.

- What time is it? - I have to get home. I didn't call.

They're gonna know that I didn't come home.

It's 4:30! It's 4:30!

Oh, my God!

- Amber, wake up. - What?

Get up. Mom's not home.

- What? - I don't know. Mom's not home.

- What time is it? - Exactly. It's light outside.

Did you call her?

Yes, I called her, and she won't call me back.

You checked the guest house?

I checked the guest house. She's not there. Like, she's not here.

I guess we should wake up Nana and pop.

Thanks a lot.

- That was fun. - Okay. Yeah, me too.

All right, let's go.

You're up. Hi.

Well, lucky me. I thought I was gonna have to make my own coffee.

- Good morning. How is everybody? - Here she is.

What are you doing? Are you trying to fool us? Are you 12 years old?

It's 6:30 in the morning, Sarah. Where the hell have you been?

You're not gonna believe this, but it was for work.

- And then it got... I got stuck. - No, it wasn't, mom.

I'm sorry, honey. I'm really sorry, I...

Next time you're gonna be at work until 6:30 in the morning,

do you think you could at least send us a text message?

I just... I didn't want to call

- and worry everybody and wake you up. - I'm getting ready for school.

You know, he came in and he woke me up, and he was hysterical.

I'm really sorry.

I absolutely did the wrong thing.

Sorry.

Well, you're home now, so...

I can't believe Joel didn't build this one.

He did build all the others.

Well, don't defend him.

- Are you jealous? - Of Julia's wife?

No, I'm not too jealous.

- What? - That's not very nice.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm just a little bit...

frustrated with my brother and sisters

and you for not taking this selling the boat thing seriously.

What are we supposed to be doing?

- How are we not taking it seriously? - You should acknowledge it.

Everyone's just taking it for granted

that I'm gonna sell the boat, and maybe I won't.

Or maybe I will. I don't know.

But it's a big deal. I wish everyone would treat it like that.

Look, someday, somehow,

somebody is gonna honor the boat.

And that's all I'm saying.

Honor the boat.

I need a hammer.

Listen...

This tradition, you know, of...

that Gordon has, it kind of turned into something

- kind of personal and... - Sounds like you were out kinda late.

- How do you know? - I got a call from mom and dad.

- God, they did? When? - Earlier. They were looking for you.

Okay, that's a whole other story. Listen, it really did start out as work.

Sarah, I don't want to talk about it. It's over. What's done is done, okay?

What do you mean?

- I had to fire seven people here. - I know!

So the fact that you and Gordon chose to go out and get hammered...

That's why I wish my idea had worked, which I still think it could...

- I still don't understand... - What's goin' on?

You think I don't care about those people's jobs? I do.

- What's happening? - Nothing.

- What's up? - Nothing, my ass. You are fighting.

- Carry on, I like this. - What's up, Crosby? What do you want?

I'm selling the houseboat.

Well, I thought maybe we could all get together

and have kind of like a farewell to the boat.

- Farewell to the boat party? - Yeah, a farewell to the boat.

It happens to be where I became an adult.

It's the only place I've called home, other than mom and dad's.

- When's the farewell party? - Immediately. Tonight.

- I need more notice than the day of. - I got in trouble last night. I can't.

What are you talk... You need not... You're not the president.

You think Neil Armstrong gave notice

when he made a small step for man and a giant leap for mankind?

I'm pretty sure that they planned on that for well over a decade, so...

I think some people had notice, like his wife.

You get what I'm saying.

Listen, Crosby's gonna make a gigantic leap,

and I thought maybe you guys would wanna be there.

If Crosby's about to make a giant leap, then I wanna be there, for sure.

If Crosby is, then I'm gonna do my best to be there.

Crosby should know that Sarah's gonna try to be there.

You guys were in a fight, and you're trying to bring me into it,

but I'm not really interested in that. I've kinda got my own stuff.

- Glad I could amuse you. - I'll see what I can do, Cros.

- Get back to work. - Okay.

All right. Thank you.

Can I talk to you for a second? Are you busy, or...

Yeah, sure, come in.

I just wanted to apologize for yesterday

and say that I hope it doesn't interfere with, you know,

what we've been doing here, 'cause I wanna keep doing it.

I'm an alcoholic.

I've been in recovery for five months.

And I'm telling you this because...

relationships,

romantic relationships, just aren't good for me right now.

I don't want you to take this the wrong way either,

because I like you.

And it's not that you're not attractive,

because you are.

You're really amazing, actually.

I'm not in a place to do anything about those feelings right now.

You understand? Like...

Is that why you dropped out of school?

- 'Cause of drinking? - That's one of the reasons.

All right.

- Then you go to meetings. - Meetings. I have a sponsor.

Work with the program. The whole nine.

That's a lot.

Can't wait to write about this in my diary.

I get a journal log. That feels special.

"Dear diary, I talked to a dropout alcoholic."

Sorry. "He was great. He was so nice."

- Really? - I had no idea.

Just... a normal guy.

Absolutely.

Well, I'm just finishing up work, so...

All right. Well, see you later.

Well, there was that one time you were on tour in Australia,

and it hit me,

mom and dad had Sydney.

Joel and I had dinner reservations, and we never made it.

- We just... - Came here?

- We came here. - You used my boudoir?

We used it all up.

- Really? You and Joel? - You did?

- Yes. Is it that surprising? - The Joel part, yeah.

I can't believe that you're selling it

before I got a chance to do something for us here.

How'bout you, Adam? Did you ever use my home as a cheap hourly motel?

Don't be ridiculous.

Of course I have.

- What? - What!

No, you haven't!

- When? - With who?

Couple of times, Kristina and I went into the city,

- Haddie had a babysitter and we... - What?

checked to see if the love boat was unoccupied.

Little did I know I was living on a floating brothel.

Everything's better in the salt air.

I gotta say, I'm...

I'm kinda scared.

About selling the boat?

About moving in with Jasmine and Jabbar?

About marriage?

About screwing the whole thing up.

You know what?

It's a big change. It's normal that you feel scared.

I'd be worried if you didn't feel that way.

I have screwed up every relationship I've ever had, so...

This one's different.

Because of Jabbar?

And because you're different.

And you guys are gonna help me stay on the straight and narrow?

- Got my eye on you, buddy. - I'll help you.

Okay, then!

Please join me

- on the back of the boat... - My goodness!

Come on, you think that Neil Armstrong wasn't scared

when he took that first step on the moon?

- Don't encourage him. - I knew you loved that metaphor.

- Do it! - 3, 2, 1.

One small step for this bachelor...

- One giant leap for... - Family.

- You're gonna be all right. - Good work.

- Don't let this fall off the thing. - I'm home, on time.

I only had one beer.

Too soon?

You guys, I really definitely made a mistake,

and I'm sorry again. Can we just move on?

I don't know, mom.

We just don't wanna talk right now.

All right. Carry on.

Tough room.

Could I get just one small break?

Seriously. Did I ever torture you like that?

Because...

I never screwed up.

The world's only perfect mother. I remember you.

So what's the story with this guy Gordon?

I don't know. He's...

Really great. He's...

You know, he runs this company. He travels. He's funny.

He's smart. He...

He likes me, mom.

He's sweet.

Of course he is.

'Cause that's what you deserve.

They just don't get it, though, huh?

Why don't they understand?

'Cause they're brats.

That's all.

They are really rotten little brats.

I just love my rotten little brats.

Of course you do.

- How'd it go? - It was fun.

It was...

Typical Crosby. A lotta drinks, no food.

I punched a guy the other day.

What?

It was at the supermarket. I hit a guy.

We were standing in the express line

and Max got upset because...

You know, he counted that the guy had 17 items instead of 10.

Some words were exchanged. He called Max a retard, and I hit him.

Wait a minute.

He called Max a retard.

I'm glad you hit him.

Is the guy okay?

He'll live.

Why didn't you tell me this?

I was embarrassed.

You don't have to be embarrassed. I'm your wife, you know?

I don't know what's going on.

I'm angry all the time, and I'm angry for being angry but...

I am under all this stress, and I know that's no excuse, but...

You know what the scary thing is?

It felt great.

It felt really great.

It's like a little bit of justice.

Maybe I'm a little more like my dad than I want to admit.

You're not like your dad. Honey, you are nothing like your dad.

I just, I...

I want you to be able to tell me everything, okay?

Always, even if it's not pretty and...

Okay, Sluggo?

You hit him.

I'm not laughing, but it's just...

We have to find some ways for you to get rid of this stress.

- It's not good. - Maybe I should take up racquetball.

You have something in mind?

I just want you to promise me that you won't say that you're...

- You're turning into or you're like... - What, my dad?

Yeah. Just... I don't know.

- Zeke Braverman. How you doin'? - See, that's what I'm saying.

Now, Kristina, have I ever told you about R&R in Bangkok?

That is freaky, and it's not sexy. I'm not listening to you.

I'll tell you about stress and tension. I been out on the front lines.

Stop it! What are you doing?

I love you.

I love you.

Hey, what are you doin' here?

I just wanna tell you that I know how much this boat means to you,

I wanna honor that.

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