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1
00:00:00,445 --> 00:00:04,790
All I'm saying is, you can't stroll
around the house stark naked.
2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,155
All I'm saying is
that you should've mentioned
3
00:00:07,171 --> 00:00:09,179
that Karen had a little friend
staying the night.
4
00:00:09,195 --> 00:00:11,179
I did, you just forgot.
I did not forget.
5
00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:16,175
On two or three occasions,
I mentioned, "Don't go out starkers."
6
00:00:19,231 --> 00:00:21,235
She's got a very piercing scream,
hasn't she?
7
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,199
So have you!
8
00:00:23,548 --> 00:00:25,536
Look, Maisie hasn't got a dad
9
00:00:25,552 --> 00:00:27,564
so she's not used to getting up
in the night
10
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:31,528
and encountering a great,
hulking, hairy, naked man.
11
00:00:31,815 --> 00:00:33,811
I did tell her not to scream.
12
00:00:33,827 --> 00:00:36,831
"Karen's daddy stood there naked
and told me not to scream,"
13
00:00:36,843 --> 00:00:38,831
that will sound good in court.
14
00:00:38,847 --> 00:00:41,719
Anyway, we've got to be at
the restaurant in half an hour.
15
00:00:41,786 --> 00:00:43,722
We'd better get ready.
16
00:00:44,191 --> 00:00:46,195
One night, Karen
and her stupid friend Maisie
17
00:00:46,211 --> 00:00:49,175
were playing on the climbing frame,
but little did they know
18
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:53,028
that they were about to fall to
their death, and Maisie died!
19
00:00:53,881 --> 00:00:54,945
And then, Karen died!
20
00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:59,949
Oh, hello. Is your mum or dad in?
21
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:01,965
Er, well, I don't know where
my mum is.
22
00:01:02,881 --> 00:01:04,893
And your dad?
He's on the toilet.
23
00:01:04,905 --> 00:01:06,965
Right. Do you think he'll be long?
24
00:01:06,977 --> 00:01:10,957
Well, he can be very long, but...
25
00:01:10,969 --> 00:01:12,905
Do you want money?
26
00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:14,925
No, no, I'm here to save your mummy
and daddy money.
27
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,961
Hi, Karen.
Oh, hi, Lauren.
28
00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:18,925
She came round to our house.
29
00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:21,941
My daddy says people
like her should be shot.
30
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,949
My dad's on the toilet.
Bye.
31
00:01:23,961 --> 00:01:25,977
So, do you want money or not?
32
00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:28,913
Little did Lady Victoria know
33
00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:31,965
that she was standing on top
of a hot volcanic geyser.
34
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:38,913
I'm... I'm here to save your mummy
and daddy money by combining
35
00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:40,973
their internet and telephone access
to fibre optic technology.
36
00:01:41,885 --> 00:01:42,921
Who is it, Karen?
37
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:49,917
It's some person trying to sell...
cyber optic technology.
38
00:01:49,933 --> 00:01:51,957
Fibre optic technology.
Tell them we're not interested.
39
00:01:51,969 --> 00:01:53,929
We're not interested.
40
00:01:53,941 --> 00:01:54,977
But it's a really good deal...
41
00:01:55,893 --> 00:01:57,929
Tell her to go away.
Go away.
42
00:02:04,937 --> 00:02:06,885
Burns, it burns!
43
00:02:06,901 --> 00:02:08,901
Everybody else is dead,
it's just me.
44
00:02:08,913 --> 00:02:09,961
It's just, I need to make a sale...
45
00:02:09,977 --> 00:02:12,913
Well, I mean, you can always try
other houses.
46
00:02:12,929 --> 00:02:15,933
But I really can give you all...
Down there there's some old people.
47
00:02:15,949 --> 00:02:18,961
They're a bit crazy in the head
like most old people are,
48
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:21,909
so they'll buy anything.
49
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:23,953
He was wrestling
the giant spitting cobra.
50
00:02:25,893 --> 00:02:26,961
You're not going to spit at me!
51
00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:30,893
Argh!
52
00:02:30,909 --> 00:02:35,953
Or maybe you should maybe make some
drinks and say, "Here, have a drink."
53
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:39,965
Or just bake something like cakes
or cookies and then say,
54
00:02:39,977 --> 00:02:41,913
"Would you like a cookie?
55
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:46,961
You get a free cookie if you buy
my... the internet thing."
56
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:48,921
They really would save money
throughout the year.
57
00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,949
We don't want to buy it, so...
58
00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:52,897
But it really is a good deal.
59
00:02:52,913 --> 00:02:54,937
Look, I just think you need to get
better at this job
60
00:02:54,953 --> 00:02:59,889
and, well, I'm fed up
so I'm going to go.
61
00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:04,901
Karen, can you not tell strangers
that I am on the toilet?
62
00:03:04,913 --> 00:03:05,949
But you are.
63
00:03:05,965 --> 00:03:09,885
Yeah, OK, but tell them, tell them
I'm busy or something.
64
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,909
But you weren't busy,
you were just sitting there,
65
00:03:11,921 --> 00:03:12,957
only your bottom was busy.
66
00:03:12,973 --> 00:03:15,937
And there was no need to slam
the door in her face like that.
67
00:03:15,949 --> 00:03:17,929
But she wouldn't listen.
68
00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:20,973
Like all grownups. They're idiots.
69
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,893
Are you not going to answer that?
70
00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:35,881
It was the headmaster.
71
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:37,901
That top looks nice.
72
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:39,881
That's three you haven't answered
since you got home.
73
00:03:39,893 --> 00:03:40,889
Is it?
74
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:42,977
No, that looks really, really nice.
75
00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,889
No, won't do, will it?
76
00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:48,921
I don't want my sister making
one of her charity shop jibes.
77
00:03:51,881 --> 00:03:52,929
Yar!
78
00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:56,965
Is Aunty Angela coming here then?
79
00:03:57,881 --> 00:04:00,929
No, I booked us in for dinner at
that Italian place round the corner.
80
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,909
Rather shrewd manoeuvre on my part.
81
00:04:03,925 --> 00:04:05,953
Neutral ground. Less chance of
anything untoward happening
82
00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:07,905
between Mum and Aunty Angela.
83
00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:09,925
What, like Mum kicking her
up the arse again?
84
00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:12,929
Well, that's hardly likely
to happen twice,
85
00:04:12,945 --> 00:04:15,909
especially in a busy restaurant,
in public.
86
00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:17,905
Well, the wedding reception
was in public.
87
00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:27,889
You said that last time.
88
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,905
This time Aunty Angela will be
on her best behaviour
89
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:30,973
because she's be with her new bloke,
Brick.
90
00:04:31,885 --> 00:04:32,941
Oh, God, I bet he's a pillock.
91
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,909
You know nothing about him.
92
00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:38,965
He's a therapist, he's American
and his name is Brick.
93
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,933
Fair enough.
94
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,885
He's got to have a fake tan
and a ponytail.
95
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:46,953
No, not both,
no, that would be too obvious.
96
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,977
So, that's a quid on the ponytail
and a quid that at some point
97
00:04:57,893 --> 00:04:58,977
he'll use the phrase,
"low self-esteem".
98
00:04:59,893 --> 00:05:01,929
OK. But I'm not letting you off bets
any more.
99
00:05:01,945 --> 00:05:03,913
You lose, you play.
OK, OK.
100
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,973
You still owe me from that bet
about how many people would die
101
00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:07,921
in that episode of Casualty.
102
00:05:07,937 --> 00:05:09,921
You cheated. You saw the
gas explosion on the trailer.
103
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,917
What in God's name
have you been doing?
104
00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,965
Watering the plants.
Mum said I could do it.
105
00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:19,893
Oh! How long have you been...?
106
00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:22,965
Oh, my God, it looks like The Somme.
107
00:05:23,881 --> 00:05:26,901
Go upstairs and change into
your smart stuff.
108
00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:30,901
Why did you let Ben loose
in the garden with the hose?
109
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:34,937
The big no-no's - Ben and water, Ben
and fire, Ben and depilatory cream.
110
00:05:39,941 --> 00:05:42,893
I was wondering whether we should've
bought Angela a wedding present.
111
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:46,969
Still, she didn't actually tell us
that she was getting married,
112
00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:50,917
so...
Who's Mimi?
113
00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:52,913
Um...
114
00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:56,885
Only, she wants to talk
about the other night,
115
00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:57,933
she's confused.
116
00:05:58,969 --> 00:06:00,917
Mimi?
117
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:05,937
Are you confused as well, because
she's texted you... seven times
118
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,885
in the last two days.
119
00:06:07,897 --> 00:06:08,933
You've been looking at my texts.
120
00:06:08,945 --> 00:06:11,917
Who... is... Mimi?
121
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:14,937
If I can't hit him,
how do I stop him...
122
00:06:14,953 --> 00:06:17,913
Not now, Karen.
From stealing my sausage rolls?
123
00:06:17,925 --> 00:06:18,961
Hey?
124
00:06:18,977 --> 00:06:21,881
She got into trouble for hitting
this boy at lunchtime.
125
00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:22,929
You mustn't hit anyone.
126
00:06:22,941 --> 00:06:24,977
Mrs Bassoon said it was unladylike.
127
00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:27,953
Well, she's never said Ben hitting
anyone is unmanlike.
128
00:06:27,969 --> 00:06:29,933
You don't hit him,
you go tell a teacher.
129
00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:31,961
But he'll have licked it by then.
130
00:06:31,973 --> 00:06:33,953
Then hit him in a ladylike way.
131
00:06:33,965 --> 00:06:35,901
That is just ridiculous.
132
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,901
Can I hit him or not?
It's a simple question.
133
00:06:37,913 --> 00:06:38,925
No.
134
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,945
We'll get back to you on that,
now, off you go.
135
00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:42,893
Because I need to know.
136
00:06:44,881 --> 00:06:46,965
So now you've had plenty of time
to think of an answer.
137
00:06:48,889 --> 00:06:51,921
After Mike's leaving do, we went
onto this pub that does music.
138
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:57,965
And this Mimi was there and she came
over and we had a dance.
139
00:06:58,881 --> 00:07:00,925
Slow dance?
Well... slowish.
140
00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:08,034
A medium slow, more...
Derek Underwood than Shane Warne.
141
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,993
It was nothing!
142
00:07:10,009 --> 00:07:12,037
Show me.
Sorry?
143
00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:15,009
Show me how you danced with Mimi.
144
00:07:15,025 --> 00:07:17,973
Don't be silly.
How did you hold her?
145
00:07:17,989 --> 00:07:21,029
Look, don't be ridiculous.
Show me!
146
00:07:25,037 --> 00:07:26,985
Well, I suppose...
147
00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:32,981
Oh, God, get a room!
148
00:07:32,997 --> 00:07:35,065
Oh, Mum...
Jake, give us a few minutes, please?
149
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,013
All right then.
150
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,989
And this is what
she got confused about, is it?
151
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:46,989
I think she gets confused...
152
00:07:47,001 --> 00:07:49,029
You know the sink plunger,
153
00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:52,985
do they make them 500 times bigger
for really big sinks?
154
00:07:52,997 --> 00:07:54,033
Why would you want one that big?
155
00:07:54,049 --> 00:07:57,033
So I could pick up a much bigger
tortoise and I could go like that
156
00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:59,053
and I could use it a bit like
a tortoise club.
157
00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:01,053
Wouldn't that be cool?
Yes, it would.
158
00:08:01,069 --> 00:08:03,013
Now, if you don't mind,
darling, Daddy and...
159
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,061
I think I left the hose on.
160
00:08:04,973 --> 00:08:06,069
Come on, kill it!
161
00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:13,013
Look, we danced and at the end
of the night, she kissed me,
162
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:15,013
and I think she may have got
the wrong idea.
163
00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:17,985
I'm very sorry
but I was very, very drunk,
164
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,045
so I... I kissed her back a bit.
165
00:08:21,061 --> 00:08:25,025
But honestly, the state I was in,
it could've been anyone.
166
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:28,065
It could have been anyone.
167
00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:33,057
No, I don't mean it could've been...
Except me, presumably.
168
00:08:33,069 --> 00:08:35,029
Oh, I'm sorry, but I...
169
00:08:35,045 --> 00:08:38,005
Can I wear my bridesmaid's dress?
No!
170
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,973
So you got pissed and snogged
a total stranger.
171
00:08:40,989 --> 00:08:43,057
She wasn't a total stranger.
So, who is she?
172
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:49,045
Why don't we talk about this after
the meal with Angela?
173
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,973
She was the mum of a boy
in Year Two.
174
00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:55,245
Oh, God, it'll be all around
the playground.
175
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,353
No-one saw us.
176
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,305
How do you know?
Were you alertly scanning the room
177
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,305
when you shoved your tongue
down her throat?
178
00:09:01,317 --> 00:09:02,353
Listen...
179
00:09:02,369 --> 00:09:04,373
Just like when Beatrice's mum turned
up at the nativity play,
180
00:09:05,289 --> 00:09:07,341
it all went quiet and everyone heard
Mary say to Joseph,
181
00:09:07,357 --> 00:09:10,357
"That's the one
who sexed the plumber." Jesus, Pete!
182
00:09:10,369 --> 00:09:12,305
It's not like that at all.
183
00:09:12,321 --> 00:09:15,297
What sort of a name is Mimi anyway?
Short for Mia.
184
00:09:15,313 --> 00:09:19,301
It is not short for Mia, it is bloody
longer than bloody Mia.
185
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:22,321
You've just snogged a woman who is so
stupid that she's shortened her name
186
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:24,289
to something longer.
187
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:26,325
Shush!
Don't tell me to be quiet.
188
00:09:26,341 --> 00:09:28,297
It's Jake.
What?!
189
00:09:28,313 --> 00:09:30,337
Jake.
Oh, God!
190
00:09:30,349 --> 00:09:32,345
Do you think he heard?
191
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,329
See what you've done?
192
00:09:36,349 --> 00:09:39,377
We can't pretend this hasn't
happened. You're going to talk to him.
193
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,337
Am I?
194
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,285
Oh, who the hell is that?
195
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:46,361
It's Aunty Angela.
Oh, God!
196
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,349
- Do I look normal?
- This is Brick.
197
00:09:50,365 --> 00:09:56,313
Absolutely. But look, with Angela,
can you just control yourself?
198
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,289
You want me to control myself
after what you've...?!
199
00:09:59,305 --> 00:10:00,337
Hi.
Hello.
200
00:10:02,445 --> 00:10:03,505
I thought we were meeting in
the restaurant.
201
00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,505
Yeah, well, we were a bit early
so we thought...
202
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,525
Brick. Great to meet you
at last, Sue.
203
00:10:07,537 --> 00:10:09,473
Hello.
204
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,501
Pete, how's it going?
205
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:13,493
Hi.
This is Taylor Jean.
206
00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:16,493
Say hi to everyone, honey.
Hi.
207
00:10:16,509 --> 00:10:18,497
I didn't know you had
a little girl, Brick.
208
00:10:18,509 --> 00:10:20,445
We have five kids.
209
00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:21,537
Five?!
210
00:10:22,453 --> 00:10:25,500
Misty, Dune, Plymouth and Mustang
couldn't leave Phoenix right now.
211
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,518
Is Phoenix the youngest?
212
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:32,621
His place, Sue, where we live,
with our five kids.
213
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,593
Oh... right.
214
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:36,541
Did you buy your children?
215
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,621
Buy them?
216
00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:39,609
Yes, like Madonna.
217
00:10:39,625 --> 00:10:41,389
Well, Madonna didn't actually buy
her kids...
218
00:10:41,412 --> 00:10:44,368
Last time you were here,
you didn't have any kids,
219
00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:46,360
so it's impossible to have
five kids now,
220
00:10:46,372 --> 00:10:48,368
and especially at your age.
221
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,036
Karen, that's rude.
No, no, no, it's fine.
222
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:56,040
They're my kids, Karen, from
a marriage I was in before
223
00:10:56,052 --> 00:10:58,080
and now they're Angela's kids.
224
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,128
But where's their mummy?
225
00:11:00,044 --> 00:11:03,040
Taylor Jean, who is your mum?
Angela is my mum.
226
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,040
Hey, you've got to be Jake?
227
00:11:07,052 --> 00:11:08,088
Hi, big guy.
228
00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:11,036
I like your ponytail.
Great.
229
00:11:11,052 --> 00:11:13,120
So, that leaves the legend I crossed
the Atlantic to meet.
230
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,128
What I haven't heard about Ben.
231
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:18,116
Ben has actually had a very good
year, hasn't he, Pete?
232
00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:20,108
Yeah, he's been picked by the school
233
00:11:20,124 --> 00:11:22,100
as being exceptionally gifted
at chess.
234
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,132
He's discovered
his intellectual side.
235
00:11:25,044 --> 00:11:26,080
Rarr!
236
00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:28,116
Hi, Ben.
237
00:11:28,128 --> 00:11:30,064
He's so muddy.
238
00:11:30,076 --> 00:11:31,112
Oh, cool!
239
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,124
Hey, fella, I'm Brick.
240
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,096
Brick?
Yeah, Brick.
241
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:37,104
Is that a name?
Yes, it's a name.
242
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,072
You mean Brick as in brick,
the thing?
243
00:11:40,084 --> 00:11:42,060
Ben, Ben, go and get changed.
244
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,100
Go on, then we can go round
the corner to the restaurant.
245
00:11:44,116 --> 00:11:47,092
Brick? What a weird name.
I think it's a great name.
246
00:11:47,104 --> 00:11:49,040
What's it short for?
247
00:11:49,052 --> 00:11:51,068
Well, what were you christened?
248
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,112
Brick. I was christened Brick.
249
00:11:53,124 --> 00:11:56,052
Oh, better still.
250
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:58,056
So, where is her real mum?
Karen!
251
00:11:58,072 --> 00:12:00,044
So sorry about that.
It's fine.
252
00:12:00,056 --> 00:12:01,104
We've all got kids so we understand.
253
00:12:03,128 --> 00:12:05,076
So, which one is she?
254
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,108
I just want to know
who they're talking about
255
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,096
when they giggle and point at me.
256
00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:13,124
She's the one with the ginger boy
who broke his foot last term.
257
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,076
Her?!
Yeah.
258
00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:18,100
Her?!
What?
259
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,096
Nothing.
260
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,064
God, you must've been...
261
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,052
That is insulting.
262
00:12:26,064 --> 00:12:27,100
Look, I didn't...
263
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:30,100
I'm going to catch up to Angela and
you're going to explain to your son
264
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:33,108
why you kissed someone older
and fatter than me.
265
00:12:35,128 --> 00:12:39,064
So, how was school today, Ben?
Great. We had sex education.
266
00:12:39,076 --> 00:12:40,112
Right.
267
00:12:40,124 --> 00:12:42,060
They show you a film or something?
268
00:12:42,072 --> 00:12:43,116
No. Mrs Bradley asked us
269
00:12:43,132 --> 00:12:46,048
to shout out all the names we knew
for men's bits.
270
00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:48,128
Really?
We got to 18.
271
00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:53,060
Though Mrs Bradley wasn't sure
about pink bazooka.
272
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,056
She said Abraham had made it up.
Hiya.
273
00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:56,128
Which he had.
274
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,076
Jake.
275
00:12:58,092 --> 00:13:01,076
Look, I think you may have heard
something this morning
276
00:13:01,088 --> 00:13:03,096
you really shouldn't have heard.
277
00:13:03,108 --> 00:13:05,044
I couldn't help hear it.
278
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:10,258
OK, well, I want you to know
that I hugely regret what I did.
279
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:14,094
What did you do?
I didn't hear that bit.
280
00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:17,188
OK, maybe we don't need to talk.
281
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,160
No. No, Dad...
282
00:13:19,176 --> 00:13:21,164
So, you've put the house
on the market?
283
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:24,947
Yeah, yeah,
we just wanted an upgrade.
284
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:28,061
Everything good with you and Pete?
God, yes, absolutely.
285
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,053
Very good. Great, terrific.
286
00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:32,057
Top-notch.
Fantastic.
287
00:13:32,073 --> 00:13:36,277
Listen, Sue, what you did to me
at the wedding reception,
288
00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:39,284
I just want you to know,
I've already forgotten it.
289
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,232
Oh.
290
00:13:41,248 --> 00:13:44,276
Great. Shall we just turn over
a new page?
291
00:13:44,288 --> 00:13:47,240
Sue, I've turned over two new pages.
292
00:13:47,256 --> 00:13:50,256
In fact, I've turned over
an entire novel.
293
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:54,228
I didn't know this place
had an upstairs.
294
00:13:54,244 --> 00:13:56,228
So, Dad, what is this?
Are you having an affair?
295
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,244
No! Shush!
296
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:02,292
Listen, Jake, I need you to be
really grown up about this.
297
00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:07,292
I got very drunk
and I kissed this woman.
298
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,240
Mimi?
299
00:14:09,252 --> 00:14:10,312
Yeah, that was...
300
00:14:11,224 --> 00:14:13,224
I thought you said you didn't hear?
301
00:14:13,236 --> 00:14:14,272
Yeah, well, I heard that bit.
302
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:17,252
She's the ginger kid's mum.
Warren's dad had a thing with her
303
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:19,040
when I was in Year Six.
Oh, right.
304
00:14:19,053 --> 00:14:21,101
Warren says she's only desperate
because she's lonely.
305
00:14:21,117 --> 00:14:24,097
Used to call him up all the time
and cry down the phone.
306
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:26,045
Did she?
307
00:14:26,061 --> 00:14:28,045
She used to sit outside his house
in her car.
308
00:14:28,061 --> 00:14:30,033
Uh-huh.
And she posted him lots of...
309
00:14:30,045 --> 00:14:31,109
Yeah, all right, thank you.
310
00:14:31,686 --> 00:14:33,694
Hi, there.
Hi, Kelly.
311
00:14:35,295 --> 00:14:38,075
I didn't know Kelly worked here.
Did you?
312
00:14:38,165 --> 00:14:40,189
Hello? Jake?
313
00:14:42,271 --> 00:14:45,255
OK, big fella, you sit there,
TJ next to me...
314
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,339
Oh, no! No, this is no good.
315
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:48,287
Kelly.
316
00:14:48,299 --> 00:14:51,275
We seem to be in a room on our own.
317
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,255
Yeah, we had a bit of an overspill
so we put you in here.
318
00:14:54,271 --> 00:14:57,279
Yeah, but we, we like eating
where the action is.
319
00:14:57,295 --> 00:14:59,283
You know, amongst lots of people,
don't we?
320
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,267
This is great.
We are full downstairs.
321
00:15:03,275 --> 00:15:04,323
Lovely.
322
00:15:04,339 --> 00:15:07,283
Come on, Hugh Grant.
You come sit across from me.
323
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,343
Let's start with
a bottle of red, honey.
324
00:15:10,259 --> 00:15:11,323
Choose us something nice.
Actually, I don't think we'll...
325
00:15:11,335 --> 00:15:13,271
I'll have a Bloody Mary.
326
00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:17,287
Oh, this is great, isn't it?
This is just great.
327
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:19,259
Jake.
328
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:22,311
Quick reminder, try looking at
her face, women like that.
329
00:15:22,327 --> 00:15:26,263
They're not so keen on being looked
at like some slab of meat.
330
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:27,311
That goes for you as well.
331
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:32,327
Now, guys, I just want to say
a few words.
332
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:35,303
Now, I don't need to be a therapist
333
00:15:35,319 --> 00:15:38,279
to see there's an elephant
in this room.
334
00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:39,327
An elephant?
335
00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:43,271
A hidden source of tension between
two people who love each other,
336
00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:46,283
but I like shooting elephants.
337
00:15:46,299 --> 00:15:50,255
Now, we all know there's been
history between these sisters.
338
00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:52,303
Can we forget it? No, we can't.
339
00:15:52,315 --> 00:15:54,251
You can't shoot elephants.
340
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:56,291
Can we acknowledge it? Yes, we can.
341
00:15:57,327 --> 00:15:59,275
Can we move on?
342
00:15:59,287 --> 00:16:00,335
Yes, we can.
343
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,283
Why does he keep repeating,
"Yes, we can?"
344
00:16:03,299 --> 00:16:06,311
into a positive? Yes, we can.
Of course we can.
345
00:16:06,327 --> 00:16:10,307
Taylor Jean, can we be one,
big loving family?
346
00:16:10,323 --> 00:16:12,347
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can!
347
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:19,299
Why are we clapping?
Have we won something?
348
00:16:19,899 --> 00:16:21,734
Thank you, Brick.
Yes, thank you, Brick.
349
00:16:21,745 --> 00:16:22,821
That was, um...
350
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,793
that was...
351
00:16:24,805 --> 00:16:26,765
special.
352
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,737
Hm... fantastic.
353
00:16:29,749 --> 00:16:32,373
So, where is Taylor Jean's real mum?
354
00:16:32,454 --> 00:16:33,490
Karen, now's not the time.
355
00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:35,494
Hey, it's cool, Sue.
Kids need answers.
356
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:39,450
The answer, Karen, is that sadly
there are some mothers
357
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:43,454
so damaging that kids prosper
best without them.
358
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:45,442
Brick was amazing.
359
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:48,410
He just wouldn't stop fighting
for his kids. Wouldn't he?
360
00:16:48,426 --> 00:16:50,458
It was you coming on board that
clinched it with the judge.
361
00:16:50,474 --> 00:16:51,858
Hello?
362
00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:53,886
Taylor Jean is so much happier
363
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:55,947
now she doesn't have to go to
Tucson at weekends.
364
00:16:55,959 --> 00:16:56,995
I'm so much happier.
365
00:16:57,007 --> 00:16:59,043
Well, yes. Pete was naked.
366
00:16:59,959 --> 00:17:02,963
But he'd forgotten that Maisie
was staying overnight.
367
00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:06,019
Well, I'm sorry she's having trouble
sleeping, but...
368
00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:10,007
Well, yes, he is quite hairy.
369
00:17:10,023 --> 00:17:13,007
At least it won't come as a shock to
her in later life, will it?
370
00:17:13,019 --> 00:17:15,039
No, sorry. Yeah.
371
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,979
Yeah. OK.
372
00:17:17,991 --> 00:17:19,027
Bye.
373
00:17:20,951 --> 00:17:22,015
Sue?
374
00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:23,963
Please.
375
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:26,975
Another bottle of red, honey.
376
00:17:28,999 --> 00:17:31,955
Here we all are at San Diego Zoo.
377
00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:35,027
In fact, it was Misty's giraffe poem
that won us the trip.
378
00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:37,023
Lovely. Didn't you used to think
379
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:40,023
that children got in the way
of being a free spirit?
380
00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:43,019
God, no! What spirits could be freer
than the spirits of kids?
381
00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:45,027
There's such wonderful energy
in a big family.
382
00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:47,955
I know, it's great.
383
00:17:47,971 --> 00:17:50,043
Well, yeah, I mean,
you've got quite a big family, Sue,
384
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:54,975
but when there's seven of you,
believe me, that is a big family.
385
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,035
So, what shall we all have
for pudding?
386
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,967
Here we are in Hawaii.
Angie is the most phenomenal mother.
387
00:17:58,983 --> 00:18:01,043
Both interactively
and as a role model.
388
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,031
She just never stops giving.
389
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,023
She's helped Misty overcome
her food issues.
390
00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:09,979
Is that Misty making the big splash
in the swimming pool?
391
00:18:09,991 --> 00:18:11,027
That's Dune.
392
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:13,039
Misty had issues with under-eating.
393
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:14,987
The Banoffee pie looks very tasty.
394
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:17,015
Brick's ex put her under
so much gastric stress
395
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:19,015
that the poor child
had to have so many tests.
396
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,035
Did she have to have a camera
put up her bottom?
397
00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:22,983
That's what happened to Dad.
398
00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,019
Turned out I have
diverticular disease.
399
00:18:28,035 --> 00:18:29,999
Very mildly.
Quite mildly.
400
00:18:30,011 --> 00:18:31,947
It's one of those syndromes
401
00:18:31,963 --> 00:18:33,959
which is present
in quite a few people his age.
402
00:18:33,975 --> 00:18:36,983
It's not a syndrome, it's a disease.
It's not a disease like leprosy.
403
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,963
No, but it is more serious
than a syndrome.
404
00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:42,011
15, tadger, 16, dangler...
405
00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:43,959
Ben!
406
00:18:43,975 --> 00:18:45,007
17, pink bazooka.
Ben...
407
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:47,011
that behaviour is inappropriate.
408
00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:49,975
I'm bored of that word.
409
00:18:49,991 --> 00:18:54,971
So, when you replaced her real mum,
what did you do with her real mum?
410
00:18:54,983 --> 00:18:56,019
Karen, stop it, it's not...
411
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,999
But it's not fair, none of
my questions get answered,
412
00:18:59,015 --> 00:19:01,987
and you still haven't got back to me
about the hitting.
413
00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:03,035
Hitting?
Yes.
414
00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:07,007
They said they'd talk to me about
when I can hit this boy at school...
415
00:19:07,023 --> 00:19:09,979
Well, obviously, you can't.
We said that.
416
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:13,007
No, you didn't. You said I could hit
in a ladylike way.
417
00:19:13,023 --> 00:19:15,951
It's never right to hit,
not for children.
418
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:18,035
Then, how am I supposed to
stop someone
419
00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:20,999
from constantly stealing
my sausage rolls?
420
00:19:21,015 --> 00:19:25,007
You get a court order stopping them
from coming within 50 miles.
421
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:33,003
Why don't you kids place a game
of Consequences or something?
422
00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:35,007
Good idea, Hugh Grant.
423
00:19:35,023 --> 00:19:36,975
Actually, I don't sound much
like Hugh Grant.
424
00:19:36,991 --> 00:19:38,975
You do a bit, you've got
that charming,
425
00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:40,959
"Oh, ah, oh," thing going on.
426
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,023
No, I haven't.
427
00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:44,999
You do, you're doing it now.
It's charming.
428
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:46,947
OK, Jake?
429
00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:48,967
Oh, Jake, have I got something
on my face?
430
00:19:48,983 --> 00:19:50,967
You just sort of
keep staring at it,
431
00:19:50,979 --> 00:19:52,035
and so does your dad.
432
00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:53,991
No, your face is great.
433
00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:55,959
Well, it's OK.
434
00:19:55,975 --> 00:19:58,015
It's nicer than OK.
Right, right, yeah, thanks.
435
00:19:59,027 --> 00:20:02,027
I wish that guy with the ponytail
would look at my face now and then.
436
00:20:02,043 --> 00:20:05,979
Oh, I know. Some men just treat
women like they're slabs of meat.
437
00:20:05,991 --> 00:20:07,955
That's a very mature observation.
438
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,011
Oh, I'm quite mature, actually.
439
00:20:09,027 --> 00:20:11,995
I'd better...
Mm-hm.
440
00:20:15,979 --> 00:20:18,039
You should get Brick to do a session
with Karen about the hitting.
441
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:20,019
She doesn't need it.
You'd do that, wouldn't you?
442
00:20:20,035 --> 00:20:22,027
Sure, honey, they're family.
She's fine!
443
00:20:22,043 --> 00:20:24,967
He does this great game with the
kids where they platy hide-and-seek
444
00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:26,995
only they have to try and find
themselves.
445
00:20:27,011 --> 00:20:28,043
Find themselves?
Yeah.
446
00:20:28,959 --> 00:20:31,963
That'd be easy. You just look down,
and there you are.
447
00:20:31,979 --> 00:20:35,955
No, Karen. Sometimes you try
and find something inside you
448
00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:37,027
that you didn't know was there.
449
00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:39,007
Like a tapeworm?
450
00:20:39,019 --> 00:20:40,971
No, not like that.
451
00:20:40,987 --> 00:20:44,019
Like a spoon that you swallowed
by mistake, or...?
452
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,043
No, it's... She's very literal,
isn't she?
453
00:20:46,959 --> 00:20:50,003
We've all got dark places
inside our heads.
454
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:52,003
Well, of course we have.
455
00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:54,947
It's entirely dark unless we put,
like, a window
456
00:20:54,959 --> 00:20:56,963
or sawed the top of our head off.
457
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:58,011
Karen.
458
00:20:58,027 --> 00:21:00,975
And that wouldn't be very good
because then we'd die eventually.
459
00:21:00,991 --> 00:21:03,003
Well, it's like if you're
in a dark room
460
00:21:03,019 --> 00:21:06,987
and you put a plant in a dark room
and it never had any sunlight,
461
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:08,955
it would grow all twisted
and tangled
462
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:10,019
and it wouldn't be good, so...
463
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:11,979
It wouldn't grow at all,
it would die.
464
00:21:11,991 --> 00:21:13,027
It might grow a tiny bit.
465
00:21:13,043 --> 00:21:15,955
Have you ever eaten
a tadpole for a bet?
466
00:21:15,967 --> 00:21:17,023
Yes.
467
00:21:17,039 --> 00:21:20,975
Have you ever... have you ever put
fish food in your dad's tea?
468
00:21:20,987 --> 00:21:22,023
Yeah.
469
00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:24,023
Have you ever taken a seagull
into a hotel bedroom?
470
00:21:24,039 --> 00:21:27,951
Have you ever run away from home
and got as far as New Mexico?
471
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,011
Yeah.
472
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:33,027
You find that actually there are
hidden feelings inside all of us
473
00:21:33,039 --> 00:21:34,975
that we only have to acknowledge.
474
00:21:34,991 --> 00:21:36,035
You have to give these feelings
a name.
475
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:37,999
We need to say, "Bob,"
476
00:21:38,015 --> 00:21:41,039
if say we called these feelings Bob,
"Get back..."
477
00:21:41,955 --> 00:21:44,979
Why Bob, when you can call it
anything like Steve,
478
00:21:44,991 --> 00:21:47,963
or a girl's name like Lucy?
479
00:21:47,975 --> 00:21:49,031
Why do you have to call it Bob?
480
00:21:49,043 --> 00:21:50,979
Well, you could say, "Lucy, get..."
481
00:21:50,991 --> 00:21:52,027
It doesn't work for me.
482
00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:56,979
Is this your job to just say stuff
like this?
483
00:21:56,995 --> 00:22:00,959
Trust me, it's a very useful...
Well, I don't trust you.
484
00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:03,967
Because you're just talking nonsense.
485
00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:06,003
Then, if you'll just listen to me
for two seconds.
486
00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:08,983
It's not something a child
necessarily understands,
487
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,031
but it is, it is something...
488
00:22:10,947 --> 00:22:13,043
But I do understand
what you're saying,
489
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,003
it's just it doesn't make any sense
because...
490
00:22:15,015 --> 00:22:16,951
Well, I think I am...
491
00:22:16,967 --> 00:22:18,991
I'm not entirely sure your technique
is going to work with Karen.
492
00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:21,983
She sure has a lot of defences.
Welcome to English repression.
493
00:22:21,999 --> 00:22:26,975
I really think we should order some,
some pudding and some coffee,
494
00:22:26,991 --> 00:22:28,967
because we've had quite a lot of
wine now.
495
00:22:28,979 --> 00:22:30,951
What does repression mean?
496
00:22:30,963 --> 00:22:31,999
Ah, excuse me.
497
00:22:32,015 --> 00:22:33,999
It's what everyone
in England does, Ben.
498
00:22:34,015 --> 00:22:35,979
Don't let out the anger
that's inside them.
499
00:22:35,995 --> 00:22:37,971
My mum lets out her anger.
Yeah, well...
500
00:22:37,987 --> 00:22:39,019
She kicked you up the...
Ben!
501
00:22:39,031 --> 00:22:40,999
And, she let out lots of anger
502
00:22:41,015 --> 00:22:44,019
when she found out that Daddy had
kissed a woman which isn't her.
503
00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:53,951
I'll... just give you a couple more
minutes to decide.
504
00:22:54,967 --> 00:22:56,031
You did what?
505
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:57,979
How do you know about that?
506
00:22:57,995 --> 00:22:59,039
We heard you and Dad
talking about it.
507
00:23:02,019 --> 00:23:06,995
OK, OK, everyone calm down.
508
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,043
It was just a stupid incident
that happened.
509
00:23:10,959 --> 00:23:13,039
And Pete is not having an affair
if that's what you're thinking.
510
00:23:13,951 --> 00:23:14,987
Stuff happens.
511
00:23:15,003 --> 00:23:17,979
We're animals dressed up in clothes
pretending not to be animals.
512
00:23:17,991 --> 00:23:20,955
Sometimes we forget to pretend.
513
00:23:20,971 --> 00:23:26,947
Look, stuff has not happened and I
think that we should all move on
514
00:23:26,963 --> 00:23:29,027
and I, for one,
am moving to the ladies.
515
00:23:30,027 --> 00:23:31,975
I'll just go see if she's OK.
516
00:23:31,991 --> 00:23:33,987
No, no. Actually, Angela,
I don't think that...
517
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:36,995
very good idea.
518
00:23:37,007 --> 00:23:39,995
Sue, I am so sorry.
519
00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:41,043
There's nothing to be sorry about.
520
00:23:41,955 --> 00:23:44,019
We're fine, really. Totally.
521
00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:46,983
Listen, Brick is a great therapist.
522
00:23:46,999 --> 00:23:48,983
In fact, you should get him
to talk to Pete.
523
00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:50,031
What about?
524
00:23:50,947 --> 00:23:51,979
Well, he's a licensed sex addiction
therapist.
525
00:23:51,991 --> 00:23:54,995
Pete? A sex addict?
526
00:23:55,011 --> 00:23:57,015
He can help you both
if you'll only let him in.
527
00:23:57,031 --> 00:23:59,955
You've got to think about what this
could do to the kids.
528
00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:03,031
The kid?! Last year you were saying
that kids turn you into a zombie,
529
00:24:03,947 --> 00:24:05,983
this year you're
Maria Von Bloody Trapp.
530
00:24:05,999 --> 00:24:08,959
You'll make plenty of mistakes
with Brick's children.
531
00:24:08,975 --> 00:24:11,019
I doubt I'll ever leave one of them
behind on a Scottish island.
532
00:24:11,031 --> 00:24:14,019
I thought Pete had him, OK?
533
00:24:15,959 --> 00:24:18,035
Look, let's just stop this
before we...
534
00:24:20,003 --> 00:24:22,975
I was merely expressing surprise
535
00:24:22,991 --> 00:24:25,967
that you've suddenly discovered
children are so wonderful.
536
00:24:25,983 --> 00:24:28,007
I found out
they all weren't like yours.
537
00:24:29,955 --> 00:24:31,003
You have no bullets.
538
00:24:33,035 --> 00:24:35,951
So, Hugh Grant,
539
00:24:35,967 --> 00:24:38,031
I thought you were one of these
pussy-whipped English guys.
540
00:24:39,031 --> 00:24:41,007
I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
541
00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:43,043
You don't have to be sorry,
we're men.
542
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:47,007
As men, we are evolutionarily
hardwired
543
00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:50,991
to nail as many women as we can.
544
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:54,007
You'll get better at it.
545
00:24:54,019 --> 00:24:56,019
And then you won't get caught.
546
00:24:57,019 --> 00:24:58,967
What?!
547
00:24:58,983 --> 00:25:01,023
Everything OK?
Yeah.
548
00:25:01,039 --> 00:25:04,963
So, where's Angela then? She...
Still in the toilet.
549
00:25:04,975 --> 00:25:06,011
Right, but you haven't...
550
00:25:06,023 --> 00:25:08,043
So, any decisions about pudding?
551
00:25:08,959 --> 00:25:10,995
Why don't we just skip pudding
and get the bill?
552
00:25:11,007 --> 00:25:12,043
Ah, I'll get that, honey.
553
00:25:12,955 --> 00:25:14,035
That's kind, but let's split it.
554
00:25:16,039 --> 00:25:17,987
Everything all right?
Yes.
555
00:25:18,003 --> 00:25:20,019
That's me.
No, I said let's split it.
556
00:25:20,031 --> 00:25:22,015
You're on teachers' wages, I'll pay.
557
00:25:22,027 --> 00:25:23,963
I'd really rather you didn't.
558
00:25:23,979 --> 00:25:26,003
Ouch. Some low self-esteem issues
here.
559
00:25:26,015 --> 00:25:27,999
That's for you, good-looker.
560
00:25:29,951 --> 00:25:31,987
Don't play the therapist with me.
Pete.
561
00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:35,019
Pete's one of those guys who thinks
charlatans become psychotherapists.
562
00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:37,015
And the Serbian war criminals.
Pete, just...
563
00:25:37,027 --> 00:25:38,963
Whoa, Hugh Grant.
564
00:25:38,979 --> 00:25:41,947
And if you call me Hugh Grant
one more time,
565
00:25:41,963 --> 00:25:44,027
I'm going to take your platinum
Visa card
566
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:47,043
and I'm going to shove it
right up your...
567
00:25:50,039 --> 00:25:52,003
I want my mum.
568
00:25:52,015 --> 00:25:53,999
It's all right, sweetie.
569
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,971
No, I want my real mum.
570
00:25:58,003 --> 00:26:00,955
I'll pop back in a tick.
571
00:26:03,043 --> 00:26:07,039
We need help fast. The triceratops
is having a heart attack.
572
00:26:07,955 --> 00:26:12,039
If Mum and Dad had a divorce,
who would you live with?
573
00:26:12,951 --> 00:26:13,987
Don't know.
574
00:26:14,003 --> 00:26:16,987
I mean, Maisie, well,
she lives with her mum
575
00:26:16,999 --> 00:26:18,987
and if she sees her dad coming,
576
00:26:19,003 --> 00:26:22,015
they have to press a button which
goes straight to the police.
577
00:26:22,027 --> 00:26:23,975
Do they fire rockets at him?
578
00:26:23,987 --> 00:26:25,023
I've got Ben's bin.
579
00:26:27,975 --> 00:26:30,039
Paper, paper.
580
00:26:30,951 --> 00:26:32,003
Plastic.
581
00:26:32,019 --> 00:26:34,003
God knows, but I don't like
the look of it.
582
00:26:36,947 --> 00:26:38,031
Are these Ben's pants?
Put them in the compost.
583
00:26:40,023 --> 00:26:43,971
Well, I didn't think the meal
would end up like that.
584
00:26:43,987 --> 00:26:47,043
Angie holding Brick back and
shouting, "He's not worth it."
585
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:49,963
Well, I told you all that stuff
he said about women.
586
00:26:49,979 --> 00:26:51,011
You're a well-known champion of
women's rights.
587
00:26:53,019 --> 00:26:55,007
I keep thinking about
those poor children.
588
00:26:55,019 --> 00:26:58,031
Poor fat Dune, poor thin Misty.
589
00:26:58,043 --> 00:27:00,979
Poor scary Taylor Jean.
590
00:27:00,991 --> 00:27:02,039
Oh, there are the car keys.
591
00:27:02,951 --> 00:27:03,991
Aunty Angela is his third wife.
592
00:27:04,007 --> 00:27:05,039
What?
Mm-hm.
593
00:27:05,955 --> 00:27:07,971
His second one is in
a clinical facility in Tucson.
594
00:27:07,987 --> 00:27:10,947
Well, who told you that?
Taylor Jean.
595
00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,987
Brick doesn't allow her mum's name
to be spoken in the house.
596
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:14,975
Oh, poor Angela.
597
00:27:15,983 --> 00:27:17,031
God help her.
598
00:27:17,947 --> 00:27:22,031
It would be really hard to choose
because if you chose Dad,
599
00:27:22,043 --> 00:27:23,991
then you'd really miss Mum,
600
00:27:24,007 --> 00:27:26,003
and if you chose Mum,
then you'd really miss Dad,
601
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:30,983
so if they do get a divorce,
you'd have to choose.
602
00:27:30,999 --> 00:27:36,043
Listen, I just want you to know, your
dad and me, we're absolutely fine
603
00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:38,947
and we're going to stay together
604
00:27:38,963 --> 00:27:41,007
and so there's no need for you
to worry about anything.
605
00:27:41,023 --> 00:27:44,031
Isn't that right, Pete?
Yes!
606
00:27:44,043 --> 00:27:45,979
Absolutely.
607
00:27:45,995 --> 00:27:47,947
Now, go and clean your teeth,
you two,
608
00:27:47,963 --> 00:27:49,015
and we'll come up
and kiss you goodnight.
609
00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:57,039
You just did that to make them feel
better, didn't you?
610
00:27:57,951 --> 00:27:59,951
No, Jake, I didn't.
611
00:27:59,963 --> 00:28:01,971
I mean, did you see that lot today?
612
00:28:01,987 --> 00:28:04,959
It made me grateful
for what I've got.
613
00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:07,963
I love your dad,
and if he's done something wrong,
614
00:28:07,979 --> 00:28:11,027
then it might take me a few days
but I'll forgive him.
615
00:28:12,975 --> 00:28:14,995
So why don't you go
and get ready for bed too?
616
00:28:17,043 --> 00:28:19,007
Ah! You owe me a quid, Dad.
617
00:28:19,019 --> 00:28:21,003
For the ponytail? I paid you.
618
00:28:21,015 --> 00:28:22,951
No, for the low self-esteem.
619
00:28:22,967 --> 00:28:25,035
He got in a couple just before
he asked you to step outside.
620
00:28:25,947 --> 00:28:26,983
Did you google him?
621
00:28:26,999 --> 00:28:28,991
Come on, Dad, there's not many
therapists in Phoenix
622
00:28:29,003 --> 00:28:30,959
called Brick Bollinger.
623
00:28:30,975 --> 00:28:33,039
I specialise
in low self-esteem issues.
624
00:28:33,951 --> 00:28:34,987
Yeah, well, that's not fair.
625
00:28:35,003 --> 00:28:37,015
Well, you know, the gas explosion
in Casualty wasn't fair, Dad.
626
00:28:37,031 --> 00:28:39,975
Don't mess with the googling
generation.
627
00:28:42,003 --> 00:28:43,951
Thank you for that just now.
628
00:28:45,738 --> 00:28:46,670
For the forgiveness.
629
00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:48,636
You didn't believe me, did you?
630
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:56,100
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