Original subtitles

But It Certainly Made Me Uncomfortable.

Heard It Went Well In The Big Apple. Yeah, It Was, Uh...

It Wasn't Easy Prying Owen Out Of Big Boy Brett's Clutches.

I Can Imagine.

So What'll It Be To Celebrate? A Cup Of Sully's Finest Sludge?

With Some Milk And Sugar To Wash It Down.

Make It For The Road?

Sure.

How's He Doing--Owen?

Well, He's Back In The House, But It's Gotta Be Rough.

I Can Imagine.

Still, It's Gotta Be Some Comfort

Knowing He's Got A Friend Like You.

♪ Untold ♪

It Good To Be Back.

It's Good Having You Back.

So... Ready To Start Reliving The Famed "Hail Eddie"?

Don't You Think People Are Sick Of That By Now?

I Mean, It's Been Ten Years. Are You Kidding?

They're Still Talking About The Time Larry Bird Stopped

At The Cumberland Farms To Ask For Directions.

1989. Bird Was Trying To Get To The U2 Concert In Worcester.

He Made A Wrong Turn Off 128, Stopped In For A Map,

A Large Ginger Ale And Two Sticks Of Beef Jerky.

By The Way, Uh, "Onside Kick-Ass Fries"

Is Not Gonna Fit On That Board.

We Gotta Come Up With A New Name.

Yeah, What About, Uh... "Leave Us Alone Burgers"? Ha. I Get It.

Rooster.

Sorry.

On The House.

Keep The Change. (Chuckles)

I'll See Ya Later, Eddie.

Fine.

Nick! Nick!

Hey.

Hey. Aubrey.

I-I Didn't Mean To Rattle You.

I'm Not Rattled. Uh... A Little Rattled.

I Know. I Should Be In Berkeley Getting Clear Of You, And Yet--

Here You Are. Here I Am.

So A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Airport. Huh.

I Closed My Eyes For A Minute,

And I Saw It-- The End Of My Novel.

You Wrote A Novel?

An Unfinished One--

Unfinished For Years-- All Journey And No Destination.

You Wrote A Novel.

(Chuckles)Nd Thanks To You, I Finished It.

Because Once I Saw That Elusive Final Moment,

I Remembered What You Said In Class.

Hmm?

"The Muse Is Like A Tornado-- When It Hits, Hole Up

"And Don't Come Out Till It's Leveled

The Last Trailer Park Of Self-Doubt."

I Said That? (Laughs)

That's Goofy. So I Had The Cab Take Me To The Closest Airport Hotel,

And I've Been Writing For 48 Hours Straight.

Well, I Can't Wait To Read It.

It's Not Being Published Anytime Soon.

No, I Mean I'd Love To Read It Now.

I Could Even Share A Few Of My Thoughts

If You're Interested.

I Don't Think That's Such A Good Idea. Why Not?

(Bell Tolling) We're Gonna Be Late For Class. Come On.

(Man) Well, It's The Term "Run-On"

That Gives These Sentences A Bad Name, Right?

I Mean, They're Just Sentences Trying To Contain Themselves,

Bursting With Emotion.

Ms. Diaz, How Nice Of You To Join Us.

Well, Hello, Professor Bow.

And Look, You Brought A Friend.

Uh, Actually, This Is My Class You're Teaching.

Nicholson Garrett. Yeah.

(Chuckles) It's A Pleasure. Duncan Bow, Tremendous Fan.

Oh, Nice To Meet You.

Uh, Dean Etwood Asked Me To Take The Class.

"Take The Class"?

You Were Gone For A Few Days.

She Wasn't Sure When You Were... (Whispers) Coming Back.

Oh, Well... I'm Back Now.

(Laughs) Yes, You Are. Yes, You Are.

Um, It's--It's Just That Dean Etwood Asked Me

To Finish Out The Semester...

For You.

I Think Maybe You Should Talk To Her About This.

Right. Of Course.

Um, Well, It Looks Like You're All In Good Hands.

Thank You.

So I'll... See You Soon...

I Hope.

(Woman) Thank You.

Okay, Uh, Where Was I?

Ted's Piece... * Does Anyone Recall *

I Liked It. It Reminded Me Of A Fitzgerald Short Story.

What's On The Menu?

Oh, My Signature Dish--

Tuna Casserole, But With Chicken.

Not To Be Confused With Chicken Casserole.

That's A Whole Different Noodle-To-Filling Ratio.

Aha, Jt In Time.

You Gave My Class To Duncan Bow?

I Didn't Know When You Were Coming Back.

The Students Are Serious About Their Writing,

And They Need A Professor Who's Serious

About Teaching It To Them. It Was An Emergency.

I Got Caught Up In A "Once In A Lifetime,

Never Gonna Happen Again" Emergency. W-Well, It Was--It Was A Bit...

It Was A Bit Of A Tangle, Leslie.

Dean Etwood, I Am Committed To This Class.

I Am. I Don't Wanna Lose It.

Okay, Let See What I Can Do.

Thank You.

By The Way, What Goes On With This Duncan Bow?

Uh, He's One Of Our Most Popular Teachers.

Several Of His Novels Have Had Interest

From Major Publishing Houses,

And One Of His Short Stories Appeared In "The New Yorker."

He Was The Closest Thing Dufresne Had

To A Literary Sensation... Until You Came Along.

I See.

And, Um...

How Did The Rest Of Your Day Go?

You Know, We Haven't Seen You Since You Went To Get The Paper.

Oh, Yeah, It Was Fine.

Fine--Good Fine? Fine--Bad Fine?

Just Fine.

Well, For The Love Of God, Son, What Did She Say?

Hannah?

She Said, "No."

Okay?

I Could Go Into A Lot More Detail,

But The Bottom Line Is Hannah Said No To Me--To Us.

Sorry. That's A Tough Break.

She Really Said No?

She Did, But It's Okay,

'Cause... I Still Believe That One Day,

She'llay Yes.

So What Else Is Going On In The World?

(Man) And In Washington Today,

Congress Held More Hearings On Global Warming.

Today's Focus Was On Rising Eans...

Greetings, Earthling.

I Come Bearing Hot Fudge Sundae Fixin's.

Yum.

Mwah.

Yore My Kind Of Alien.

(Laughs) This Is Way Better Than Crop Circles.

Oh, That It Is.

You Know What I Love The Most About The Ice Cream Sundae? Tell Me.

It Is Like The Perfect Example Of The Melting Pot.

I Mean, We've Got Whipped Cream And Ice Cream.

I Mean, That's Two Potentially Competitive Forms

Of Sweetened Cream, And Yet Here They Are,

Happily Complementing Each Other.

And Then There's The Hot Fudge,

Which Is The Cool Cream's Archnemesis.

The Screen Look A Little Pale To You?

Maybe It's Just The Way The Light's Hitting It.

No. No, This Is Typical Evening Light.

Something Is Off.

Hey, Guys.

Hey, Care To Join Us For What Iike To Think

Is A Shining Example Of What Our Country Can Be?

Ice Cream Sundae?

(Laughs) Well, I Don't Mean To Be Unpatriotic,

But I'm Gonna Head Over To Sully's.

Ah, To Bask In The Glory Of The "Hail Eddie"?

Well, Not So Much Basking

As, Um, Making Required Public Appearances.

What's The "Hail Eddie"?

Just The Defining Moment In Knights Ridge Sports History.

Mm-Mm. (Scoffs)

It Was Homecoming Weekend.

The League Title Was On The Line.

We Were Down By 4 With Less Than 10 Seconds

Left On The Clock.

Eddie Scrambles Out Of Two Tackles.

He Takes This Monster Hit, But He Didn't Fall, And Then,

With A Defensive Lineman On His Back,

Eddie Somehow Drags Himself Into The End Zone

And Scored The Winning Touchdown. Wow.

I Have No Knowledge Of Football Whatsoever.

That Still Gave Me The Chills.

It Might Just Be The Ice Cream.

Eddie, Does Brian Williams Look A Little Pale To You?

Yeah, He Always Looks Pale.

Not Just Pale. Waxy.

Wan.

Almost Consumptive.

Something Is Seriously Amiss.

Hey.

Hi.

You Cataldo Men Clean Up Nicely.

Well, These Are For You.

Thanks.

The Boys Have Something For Sam. Oh, You Didn't Have To Do That.

Well, I Wanted To, And They Nted To.

Sam, Jasper And Casper Are Here.

Hey.

We're Sorry We Broke Your Telescope.

Yeah, We Never Should've Used It As Aock-Smashing Device.

Here.

"Planetarium In A Box." This Looks Kinda Cool.

(Casper) Yeah, When You Plug It In,

It Turns Your Room Into A Planetarium.

Come On. Let's Go Set It Up. (Casper) Cool.

So... What Was This All About?

Well, I Had A Long Talk With The Twins,

And Their Days Of Tormenting Sam Are Over.

It's Gonna Be Different This Time.

I Promise.

(Man) Latekka! (Man) Hail Eddie.

Hey.

Hey.

(Man) Hail Eddie!

At What Point Do You Think You're Gonna Get Sick

Of Reliving That Play?

Oh, Maybe Never.

Someday I Hope To Do Something Semi-Noteworthy.

You Will.

(Owen) Hey, Buddy.

Big O.

Hey, Janet.

Hey, How You Holdin' Up?

Not Sure, But I Seem To Manage,

Until It's Time To Go Home.

It Must Be Something, Buddy Boy.

What?

Being You On Homecoming Weekend.

It's Like Being Bobby Orr And Bobby Kennedy

And Bobby Brown, All Rolled Up Into One.

Bobby Brown?

I Ran Out Of Famous Bobbys From Boston. Hey, It Was Your Block

That Made The "Hail Eddie" Possible, Though.

Yeah, But Nobody Ever Remembers The Lineman.

I Can Only Imagine The Play You're Gonna Get.

Well, Not Really.

Are You Kiddin'? Oh, And The Icing On The Cake--

I Hear The Lyons Twins-- Both Now Divorced--

Are Coming Back For Tomorrow Night's Pre-Game Bash.

Can You Say, "Double Sessions"?

You Know What, O.? I, Um...

Let Me Talk To You Later.

(Owen) All Right, Cool.

Can I Get Some Rings?

Janet, Are You Okay?

Oh, I'm Fine, Eddie.

I Just Gotta Get These Pitchers Rinsed Out,

And You Probably Gotta Go Stock Up On Matching Prophylactics.

All Right, Listen...

I Should Have Told Him Was Seeing Someone.

Really?

Really.

No. I Mean, Really, Are You Seeing Someone?

I Am.

And What We Need

Is An Alison Rowan Birthday Barbecue Do-Over.

You Mean, We Set A Date And Then You Stand Me ?

All Right, Maybe Not So Much A "Do-Over" As A...

A "Get It Right."

Come With Me To The Homecoming Game

As My Date.

Everyone Will See Us There. We'll Get It Out Of The Way.

Okay, So This Really Is...

A Date.

Okay.

Excuse Me.

Who Would've Thought?

Even "The Punter's Fried Pickles"

Were Sailing Out Of Here.

They're Not That Half Bad.

I May Bring Some To Our Tailgate Party.

Or Not.

Not 'Cause Of The Fried Pickles,

But I'm Not Be Able To Make E Tailgate Party This Year.

But We Do It Every Year-- Me, You, My Hibachi,

Your Cassette Of "Foreigner's Greatest Hits,"

Our Snide Comments On How The Jocks And Cheerleaders

Have Aged Poorly?

I'm Sorry.

I Have A Date.

You're Going With Eddie, Aren't Ya?

Yep. Can You Believe It?

I'm Going With Eddie Latekka.

We've Sort Of Been Seeing Each Other,

Or At Least Talking About Seeing Each Other.

And Given The Ridge And Its Gossip Mill,

Eddie Figured, Whabetter Way To Go Public, You Know?

Get It Out Of The Way. "Get It Out Of The Way"?

All The Chatter.

He--He--He Wants To Get It Out Of The Way?

What Are You, Homework? Uh, A Trip To The Dentist?

Taxes? In This World,

Nothing Is Certain Except Death, Taxes

And Letting The World Know You're Dating Janet Meadows. I Thought You'd Be Happy For Me.

We Have To Play Within Our League, Janet.

Remember What Happened When I Was Dating Christy Turlington?

It Ended In Heartbreak And Tears

And Utter Devastation.

You Never Dated Christy Turlington, Oster.

Exactly, And I Never Will.

I Just Don't Want To See You Get Hurt.

Come Here.

Okay.

Keep Working On Those Last Few...

Oh, I Will. Like I Told You, Okay?

Nicholson.

Hello. How Are You?

Great. How Are You? Excellent.

So I Guess You Heard

I'm Teaching My Creative Writing Class Again.

I Did, I Did. And To Be Honest, Thank God.

My Course Load Was Getting Much Too Heavy. Huh.

Besides, Those Students Obviously Enjoy You,

"Quake Boy."

Uh... "Quake Boy"?

Well, That's How Ms. Diaz Describes You...

In Her Novel.

She Gave It To You To Read?

She Did. It's A Gem.

And I'm In It? Well, Your Fictional Alter Ego Certainly Is.

"Rick Garland, The Former Next Big Thing."

I Really Wouldn't Have Pegged You As A Man Who...

How Did She Describe It? "Transcends Type.

"Bookish, Yet Athletic. Self-Absorbed, Yet Generous.

"A Lover Whose Touch Causes Not Only Her Body

But Her Soul... To Quake."

Well, She Does Know How To Turn A Phrase.

She Certainly Does.

I Really Should Go Take Another Look-See.

I Know She's Anxiously Awaiting My Notes. Oh.

(Whispers) I'll See Ya Around. I'll See Ya.

So What Do You Think?

Well, The Semiconductors Are Shot,

The Tubes Are Barely Holding On,

And The High-Vtage Block Isn't Blocking.

Which Means...

Well, Which Means...

You Keep Using This Set,

And The Circuit Boards Are Gonna Go,

And When They Do, It Won't Be Pretty.

Well, There Must Be Something We Can Do.

Try To Keep The Set From Overheating.

But Even If You Do, It's Just A Matter Of Time,

And Not Much At That. I'm Sorry, Pal.

So You Wanna Go To The Homecoming Game Together?

'Cause Obviously, I'm Not Bringing Alison This Year.

Sorry, Pal. I Got A Date.

Really? Who's The Lucky Lady?

Janet.

Mm. Janet Who?

Janet Meadows.

Janet Meadows Is Your Date To Homecoming?

Yep.

As In Sully's Janet Meadows?

"Behind The Bar" Janet Meadows?

"Always Gives Me Extra Blue Cheese Crumble

With My Buffalo Wings" Janet Meadows?

The Same.

Wow. How Long Have You Two Been...

A Twosome?

Well, We've Been Circling Around It For A While Now.

Why? You Think It's A Mistake?

Not At All. I Just...

Thought She Had Better Taste.

Tongues Are Gonna Wag.

So?

Hate To Think What Everybody's Saying About Me These Days.

Can't Let That Stuff Get To You.

Ah, It's Not Just That. It's...

Every Girl I've Been With,

I Knew Why We Were Gonna Break Up

Two Weeks Before We Started Dating.

With Janet...

I Don't Know.

Isn't That A Good Thing?

Not If You're The Kind Of Guy

Who Likes To Break Up Two Weeks After You Start Dating.

Some Nice Moves You Got There.

What Moves?

You Know, Not Faing Off.

Actually, Still Working On That.

Ooh. (Inhales Sharply) I'm Breaking It In.

Just Drove This Board Off The Lot Yesterday.

I Didn't Miss Your Birthday, Did I? Nah. One Of

Big Cat's Been Coming Around Bearing Gifts?

You Didn't Hear?

Big Cat's Making A Comeback.

I Must've Missed The Press Conference.

Yeah, Sorry. I Was Rootin' For You.

See You Around.

See You, Sam.

Be Careful On That Thing.

I'll Try.

This Is Your Way Of Saying Sorry?

Letting Me Watch You Buy The Paper? There's A Pack Of Gum

Also, I Wanted A Chance To Explain

Why I Said What I Said Last Night.

Here You Go, Lotte. Exact Change For You Today.

Quick Snack? Sure.

I Didn't Mean To Hurt Your Feelings.

It's Just--You Know What Kind Of Guy He Is.

He's Not Just A Player. He's The Entire Team. I Know What Kind

I'm Not Gonna Burn My Tongue On These Again, Am I, Joyce?

We Don't Roast 'Em That Hot Anymore, Rooster.

Not Since You Threatened To Sue.

So Why Are You Even Giving Him The Time Of Day?

Well, What's Going On With Me And Him--It's Different.

He's Different When He's With Me. One More Stop.

That's What All The Girls He's Dated Tell Themselves.

Th All Think It's Gonna Be Different.

Thank You, Susan.

And, Kaela, Plse Be Careful With That Bread Slicer.

Anyway, Look, Janet, Here's The Thing.

You Say You Know His Reputation, But... (Door Bells Jingle)

Yeah, I Know His Reputation, But People Can Change.

Rooster, You Used To Be The Guy Who Owned

The Largest Ant Farm Collection In Massachusetts,

But Nobody Calls You "Captain Arthropod" Anymore.

Okay, But Did You Notice Susan And Kaela Back There

In The Bakery? Yeah, What About 'Em?

Along With Lotte At The Newsstand

And Joyce Who Sells Chestnuts, That Makes Four--

Four Of Eddie's Conquests.

And We Haven't Even Turned Down Main Street.

That's What I'm Talking About.

You Set This Whole Thing Up Just To Make A Point?

What Kind Of Person Does That?

You Needed To See.

Oh, I See All Right.

I See One Very Cruel, Cruel Man.

Janet...

Janet, Come Back.

Don't You Want Your Gum?

Wen) Forget About It. (Nick) Yes.

Mm, Either Of You Guys Got The Time?

Mnh-Mnh. You Got Somewhere You Gotta Be?

Yeah, I Got The Booster Dinner. Oh.

Didn't You Wonder Why I Was Wearing A Suit?

I Did, But I Thought You Looked So Nice, So... (Laughs)

Can You Believe Big Cat's Making A Comeback?

The Guy's Like The Roger Clemens Of Romance.

Look, Hannah's A Great Girl And All That,

But You Two Are Past Tense-- Ancient History Past Tense.

You Gotta Make Your Peace With That.

It's Too Bad You Dumped Aubrey. She Was Hot.

And Very Cool. Potent Combo.

You Should Get Aubrey Back.

You Should Un-Break Up With Her.

No, I'm Not Ready To Un-Break Up With Anybody.

Hey, Maybe She's Ready To Un-Break Up With You.

Yeah, I Can't Think Of A Better Way To Get You Over Hannah Jane.

What Do You Think Your Chances Are With Aubrey?

I Don't Know.

Although She Did Write That My Fictional Alter Ego

Was "A Lover Whose Touch Caused Not Just Her Body,

But Her Soul To Quake." What?!

She Did? When Did She Write That?

When Did You Quake Her Soul? I Didn't. There Was Never Any Soul Quaking.

Two Kisses Were The Sum Total Of Our Relationship.

It's Just A Work Of Fiction--

Something That Sprang Up From Aubrey's Imagination.

Well, I Like The Way She Thinks.

Me, Too. I Love Aubrey's Imagination.

I Would Build-- I Would Build A Summer Home

In Her Imagination.

I Would. Honely, I Don't Even Know If She Wrote That.

That Guy Duncan Bow Probably Just Made It Up To Get My Goat.

Who's Duncanow?

He's This Teacher That Aubrey Gave Her Novel To Instead Of Me.

And I Don't Like Him.

We Gotta Get That Book.

We Gotta Break Into Duncan Bow's Office

And Read That Book.

You're Kidding, Right? No.Nicky, He's Right.

He's Right. Mm-Hmm.

You--You Read That Book,

You Find Out What Aubrey Really Thinks Of You.Mm-Hmm.

I Don't Wanna Know How She Feels About Me.

???? On How To Navigate Your Approach.

You Almost Owe It Toer.

Mm-Hmm.She Just Gave It To Duncan Bow To Make You Jealous

To Get Your Attention. You Heard The Dean.

He's Never Published Anything. You've Written A Best Seller.

Yep.I Mean, You Know That She Doesn't Really Want His Help.

Yeah, Yeah, So Don't Do It For Yourself To--

To Satisfy Your Own Curiosity.

Do It For The Sake Of The Written Word.

Yes, For The English Language.

For The Betterment Of All Mankind. Yes!

Yes, Yes, Yes. I'm In.

Looking For A Third.

Yes.

Hey, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait.

What? What Is It?

What Are These For?

To Protect Our Identity.

We're Not Wearing Ski Masks.

Ronnie, Just Give Me The Screwdriver.

Okay, Fine. Suit Yourselves.

What?

He's Kling Me.

Looks Like A Simple Latch Lock.

Step Aside.

Here's How You Open A Door.

OH

♪♪♪♪

HI, ??????

You Know, Maybe This Is A Good Thing.

Maybe This Is What You Need To Keep You Moving Forward,

Taking More Baby Steps To Free Yourself Of Your Fearf The Outside.

You Don't Understand.

Well, Then Help Me. Help Me Understand.

Okay.

Okay, So Right Now I'm Fine, Right?

Not A Care.

Still Fine.

Still Fine.

Still Fine.

Okay, Now My Heart's Starting To Race.

Cold Sweat Cleats The Forehead.

Lump In My Throat The Size Of A Cantaloupe.

Trouble Breathing.

Chest About To Explode. Okay, That's Enough.I Understand.

Come Back Inside. Okay.

It's Been That Way For Six Years,

And That Whole Time, Jason Has Been Here With Me.

You Named Your Tv?

Of Course.

He's My Constant Companion,

My Faithful Window Onto The World.

I See.

I'll Help You Wash Those. No that's Okay.

I'm Just Gonna Throw 'Em In Brenda.

Lebanese Hezbollah, Syrian Proxy...

Who Has Snow Globes, A Hula Dancer,

And A Bust Of Dante On Their Desk?

I Don't Know, But I Think

The Hula Dancer's Kind Of Fine. Shh!

What Is It?

I Was Just Thinkin'...

Ikey Would've Loved This.

Hey, Nick,

How Do We Even Know That The Book Is In Here?

You Know How We Know? 'Cause I Just Found It.

I Found The Book.

The Novel? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

I've Been Soaking These Puppies In Vodka For A Week.

We'll Break 'Em Out At Halftime.

Ray Cataldo--The Man Who Invented The Chewable Screwdriver.

Oh!

This Is Nice...

Being Back Together.

Yeah, It Is.

You Know, I Don't Wanna Go Back.

The Way We've Been The Last Three Years...

Tuesday, Thursday, Every Other Saturday.

Oh, Okay.

Well, That's How You Feel, I Mean, We Can Take It Slow.

We'll Get Over The Speed Bumps Easier That Way.

Actually, I Wahoping To Fly Right By 'Em.

One, Uh, "Nick Garrett Moving Backo Town Speed Bump"

In Particular.

Ray.

Hey, You Remember That Lilac Bush

You Helped Me Plant Last Year?

Yeah, The One In Your Backyard?

Yeah.

You Know That Thing's Still Blooming?

I Mean, Here We Are End Of November,

And My Backyard Still Smells Like Spring.

Mm, Global Warming.

Nah, Frost Killed Everything Else.

You Know, That Bush... It's What We Do.

Here In Knights Ridge, We Stay,

We Put Down Roots, And We Watch 'Em Grow.

You Know I Love It

When You Break Out The Gardening Metaphors.

Will You Marry Me, Hannah Jane?

Ray...

It's The Only Way I Can Do This.

If We're Gonna Get Back Together,

It Has To Be All Or Nothing At All.

Ray, It's-- It's Just So Fast.

Hannah, If You Can Look Me In The Eye

And Honestly Tell Me That

If That Speed Bump Hadn't Moved Back Into Town Six Weeks Ago,

That We Wouldn't Be Picking A Reception Hall

And Hiring A Caterer Right Now, Then, Okay, I'm Wrong,

And, Uh, And You Should Tell Me "No."

Uh, Opening Boozy Bar Scene...

Boozy. Booze.

Ed Adolescence.

Uh, Road Trip To Big Sur.

Come On.

Okay, Okay, Here I Am. Um...

"He'd Just Arrived From Philadelphia.

His Eyes Were Deep Brown With A Mischievous Sparkle."

No? Maybe.

"There Was Something Irresistible About Him.

"He Had The Confident Air

Of A Man Who Always Gets What He Wants." Okay, I'm Officially Bored.

Yeah, Can We Get To The Soul Aking?

All Right, All Right.

(Let's Check This Out.)

Okay, Let's Go. Let's Go. Shh.

W ?????

I'm An Idiot.

It's Not That Bad.

Okay, "Operation: Rekindle Aubrey's Interest"

Can Still Be Salvaged.

There Never Should've Been An "Operation:Rekindle Aubrey's Interest."

The Only Girl Whose Interest I Wanted To Rekindle Was Hannah's.

And All This Was Just A Drunken, Lame Attempto Forget That.

What Did Aubrey Write About You?

"He Had The Confident Air Of A Man Who Always Gets What He Wants."

If It's Hannah You Want, It's Hannah You're Gonna Get.

Well, You Seem To Be Forgetting One Very Inconvenient Truth.

She's Not Interested.

Didn't Say It Was Gonna Be Easy.

It's Gonna Take A Perfect Game Of Long Ball.

Which Means You Gotta Play It Cool For A While...

A Long While.

You're Friendly, But Not Too Friendly.

Around, But Not Available.

Let Her Do Her Thing With Ray...

Yes, And When Hannah Finally Realizes

What All Of Us Have Known For Forever--

That Big Cat Is A Complete Tool...

There You Are. Yeah,But No Proclamations.

No Big Gestures.

Nothing Till Then.

Long Ball, Huh? Long Ball.

Long Ball! Long Ball!

You Guys Are Free To Go. They're Not Gonna Press Any Charges.

Yes.You See? You Wanted Out. We Got Out.

He Always Gets What He Wants. Always Gets What He Wants.

(Ryan Adams' "Cold Roses" Playing)

I'll Get Another One. Be Right Back.

Hey. Big Game.

Go, Knights. Cool.

Long Ball.

Long Ball.

Well... Hey, Nice Going, G. Gordon Liddy.

Huh? When I Think Of Botched-Up Break-Ins,

My Mind Naturally Goes Back To Watergate.

You Heard? Oh, Ye.

O.!

O.Wait! Wait!

You Stay!

I'll Go.

Ooh.

"Fool For You Anyway"

Eddie! Eddie Latekka! Hi!

Gosh, How Ar you? It's Been So Long.

Hi. Good To See You.

Can I Have A Kiss? Oh. I Guess.

Me, Too.

So What's Going On?

Okay, Thursday At 2:30--

Pep Rally Just Like They Used To-- Hey!

Hi. Hey.

Oh. Oh. Hi, Sweetheart.

Hi, Dean.

There Was Nothing I Could Do, Nick.

You Broke Into A Faculty Member's Office.

The College Has Rules.

So I'm...

Yes, You're Through.

Yeah. Okay.

Great.

What's Going On, Baby?

You Both Have Cats Named Mouse, Huh?

Yes, We Do. Yeah.

Imagine That. Will, Um, Will You Hold This For A Second?

Sure.

Excuse Me.

Hey, Janet.Can I Get A Beer? You Know,

Going To The Homecoming Game-- It's A Bad Idea.

'Cause Here's The Thing.

I'm Not Taxes. I'm Not The Dentist.

I'm Not Something You Get Out Of The Way.

What? I'm Also Not Like The Other Girls You've Been With.

I'm Not A Cute Cashier.

I Don't Know H To Make Waffle Cones.

I'm Not Another St Along The Eddie Latekka Conquest Trail.

I'm Not Perky Like Susan,

I Don't Bat My Eyes Like Lotte,

And I Certainly Don't Have Double "D" Cups Like--

You Know What?

You're Not Like The Other Girls I Usually Date.

You're Smart

And Funny And Beautiful, Inside And Out.

You're Absolutely Nothing Like Taxes.

Excuse Me.

I Don't Think I Can Do It.

You Can.

Look...

I Know Jason's Been With You,

Here By Your Side For All These Years,

And No One And Nothing Is Ever Gonna Replace Hi

But... I'm Not Going Anywhere.

And... Maybe,

Just Maybe Until You're Ready To Step Outside...

I Could Be Your Window Onto The World...

But A Different Kind Of Window,

'Cause Unlike Jason,

I'm Not Gonna Focus On The Worst Of What's Out There--

On The Wars Or The Natural Disasters

Or The Violent Crimes.

I'm Gonna Bring You

The Puddles On Centre Street After A Thunderstorm,

And The Sun Rising Over Crystal Lake,

And The Mcmahons--They've Been Married For 50 Years,

And They Still Hold Hands When They Go For A Walk.

That Sounds Nice.

Oh, And One More Thing I'm Gonna Do...

And If You Tell Me Jason's Ever Done That,

I Will Run Out Of Here Screaming.

Okay.

I'm Ready.

Okay,That Time You Startled Me.

You Broke Into Professor Bow's Office

To Read My Novel?

That's... One Way Of Putting It.

How Else Would You Put It?

Okay, You Pretty Much Nailed It.

I Guess It's Kind Of Flattering...

In An Incredibly Stalkersh Kind Of Way.

Yeah, Just...

Focus On The Flattering Part.

Oh, I Intend To.

No, That's...

Not What I Meant.

And Thanks For Everything You Showed Me.

May You Rest In Peace.

Amazing, Right?

Who Would've Thunk It?

i Asked...

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