All language subtitles for October Road s01e02 and Cons.eng

I don't want you to leave.

I'll be back in six weeks.

Previously on "October Road"...

Dufresne College called.
They want to know if you'd be interested

in teaching a one-day intensive
on the art of the novel.

That's in my hometown.
I haven't been back there in ten years.

Thanks for going easy
on me in the book.

I read how you made
Eddie and Hannah look.

- I gotta warn you, Eddie--
- Yeah, I heard.

Long time, Eddie.

You seem to have forgotten which
side of October Road you belong on.

Hello, Hannah.
You're a mom, huh?

I didn't know that.
How old is Sam?

10.

Don't worry. He's not yours.

All the men in my family
have peanut allergies.

One bite of this peanut butter and
jelly sandwich, and I'm a goner.

Oh, there he is.
Liz Taylor get her beauty sleep?

Not so much.

That cat...

Yeah, but what do you care?

You get to go back to
the delightful sounds

of New York City's
gunshots and orgies,

while we're stuck here
with the agonized cries

of the horny
neighborhood feline.

Yeah, about New York...

I kind of called an
audible last night.

- You're staying?
- Thinking about it.

For how long?

I'm not sure. A few weeks?

I mean, if that's okay.

That's it. I can't take it.

It's okay.

Glad to have you.

Thanks.

But, uh,
have you counted for the blowback?

The blowback?

It's, uh, one thing to pay
a visit after ten years,

but, um, considering the number you
did on Knights Ridge in your book,

you might meet some resistance to your
settling in to the daily hum and drum.

You might encounter a blowback.

I'm finishing this
once and for all.

Is that a BB gun?

Hey! Just 'cause you are an idiot
doesn't mean you need to act like one.

Now I gotta ask you.

What made you decide to stay?

You really think
the kid is yours?

Peanut allergy. He's got one,

just like all the men in my family.
That's way too much of a coincidence.

Okay, only 1% of the population
are allergic to peanut proteins.

That's 3 million americans,
and there's about a 60% chance

of it originating from
a genetic inheritance.

So there's a 40%
chance it don't.

Well done, Pythagoras.

Thanks for playing. Pythagoras was
a winged horse, greek myth style.

That would be pegasus.

I appreciate the effort.

Guy spends ten years in New York City,
he thinks he's Anderson Cooper 360.

If you're convinced you're the dad,
how do you play it?

Only thing I can think of--
ask Hannah straight up.

No, no, no, dropping the allergy
bomb on Hannah will freak her out.

Go slow.
Get to know the kid better.

Take it from a father of two,

if he is your son,
there'll be no mistaking it in time.

But say he is your kid...
I mean, what then?

I don't know.

Hey, Nick's staying, Eddie.
Isn't that great?

I'm gonna go get my
truck at Sully's.

Well, I better get going, too.

I have to pick up Allison's
outfit for date night.

- Date night?
- Yeah.

About once every three months,

Owen and Allison go
out for a nice dinner,

but not before picking out
outfits for each other to wear.

Yeah, it started 'cause I
like her to dress sluttier,

and she likes me to dress--

Like someone with the ability
to look in the mirror?

- See ya, man.
- I'll see ya, man.

- Later, man.
- See you, buddy.

Come on, Owen. I'll get you that date
night mix CD I made for you guys.

Thanks, buddy.

The only reason I told you any of
that stuff about me and Owen's wife

is 'cause I thought
you were leaving town.

You ain't gonna say nothin',
are ya?

It was a one-shot deal, right?

No need to ruin a family over
one stupid night, right?

Give it up.

Hey, who's winning?

Hey.

No offense, but you're really
milking this good-bye tour.

Actually, I'm staying.

Really?

Yeah.

So we--we should
hang out sometime.

You know, maybe...
have a catch?

Catch of what?

You know, a catch...

Baseball. You throw the
ball back and forth.

Oh. Right, a catch.

Hey, Doodie.

Nick wants to have a catch.

Catch of what?

It was just an idea. We can...

I gotta go walk my
mom home from work.

You do that every day?

Yeah. She works for the vet.

Oh, right.

Yeah, she always loved animals.

Okay.

Hey, Nick.

Maybe a catch would
be fun sometime.

Cool.

Always a sign of a rough night

when you hoof back to your
wheels in the afternoon.

Sorry about the ruckus.

No worries.

Old friends getting
together after ten years--

broken glassware
is to be expected.

Hey, last night had
nothing to do with Nick.

Right,

and I eat corn
dogs for the corn.

You know, the past is like a
pimple on prom night, Eddie.

You can try and ignore it,

but it's still gonna prevent Jimmy
Wyper from slow-dancing with you

during your favorite
Boyz II Men song.

Nick.

Hannah.

Sam told me you're staying.

Yeah, I...
I wanted to actually talk to you--

That's good... for you.

I guess.

But asking my son
to play catch--

that is a problem.

So here's the deal.

It's cool if you want to stay.

I can't stop you.

But I have worked very hard
to create a life for myself,

and most importantly, Sam.

You can't just wander
into our lives--not now--

and do nothing except make things
more confusing for everyone.

- Hey, look--
- It's...

it's an applecart,

and... it's delicate.

I'm not going to do "nothing."

Really?

I'm staying because the
college offered me a job.

- They did?
- Yeah.

To do what?

To teach... the kids.

For real.

All I'm asking of you, Nick,

is just please,

please,

please, please...

just don't upset the applecart.

- Okay.
- Okay.

The college really
offer you a job?

Not so much.

Welcome to the blowback.

What you're saying

is that she thinks
that you think

that her kid is yours.

That is what I think.

Aw, that's utter nonsense.

You don't know everything, dad.
There's things.

There's evidence
and clues and...

there's things.

We're talking the
paperboy here.

Yeah. He walks her home
from work every day.

Isn't that sweet?

All right.

How do I look?

You really gonna do this?

Well, told her I got
a job at the Doof,

so I gotta go get
a job at the Doof.

I thought you wiped out
there the other day.

I did.

But why wouldn't they want me?

I'm a big-time novelist, dad.

Is this a joke?

Because if this is a joke,
I'm still stuck in the setup,

which, as you may recall,
involved you panicking

and sputtering your way out of a 1-day
seminar with a case of the dry heaves,

leaving an entire lecture
hall in the lurch.

And now you want me to
give you your own class?

Just a little class--
a nice little graduate writing class.

What makes you think
you can actually teach?

And please, don't tell me it's
because you wrote a popular novel.

No. No.

But... the journey,
getting there,

the journey that those
students wish to embark upon--

I can share my experience.

Then let's talk
about that journey.

Let's talk about it.

The, um... epic struggle of
a coward who left his home,

wrote a book about
the friends and family

that he abandoned
for reasons unknown

and now is afraid to
face his own life.

Wow.

I think you're leaving out the part
where I burned down the orphanage

and drunk-dialed the pope.

A teacher, by nature,
is a leader.

And a leader is someone
who embraces their life,

not one who runs away from it.

In other words, Mr. Garrett,

my students have nothing
to learn from you.

I'm gonna go.

And thus, the arsonist returns to
the scene of his last great blaze.

Going down in flames does
seem to be the motif.

What's the difference between
self-pity and self-loathing?

Well, I'd answer you but I'm too busy
feeling sorry for my vile existence.

- Have you met this dean Etwood?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

What about her?

Just that she's like Stalin,
only without the dreamy compassion.

Hey.

- A lot of beer.
- We're stockpiling.

Ikey heard there might be
a nuclear war this weekend.

True dat. Darcy, what goes on?

You weren't gonna ever call,
were you?

Oh, no,
not Darcy from the hardware store.

What?

Dude, I liked Darcy from
the hardware store.

Man, do you get around.
You're like the flu, only with a zipper.

He don't call.
What, are you new?

This is Eddie Latekka.
Repeat business makes him nervous.

No offense. His bad, not yours.

What's so funny?

Look, son, you're pushing 30.

Are you ever gonna get married?

When did that clearly defined
line between selling booze

and being pals become blurred?

Look, all I'm saying is,
what's next?

No idea.

It's wild that
you grew up here.

Why?

I don't know.

It's just so... quaint.

Berkeley isn't quaint?

No, it is,

but quaint with an edge.

- Edgy quaint.
- Barefoot quaint.

- Patchouli quaint.
- "Kill the rich" quaint.

Speaking of which, the bill
collectors can't be barking too loud.

Why are you sweating
this whole job thing?

Feels right.

Qualify.

Okay, well...

it's like, if I can't do that,
then what good am I?

And who knows?
You know, maybe someday I become a dad.

Isn't that what you're supposed
to do with children--teach them?

I think you gotta
flip the script.

You know,
make a case for yourself with the dean.

I mean,
you're back in your hometown.

There's gotta be someone
who can vouch for you.

Someone who can speak to the virtues
of Nick "not Nicholson" Garrett.

There's gotta be someone.

So you gonna be okay with the whole
Nicky-staying-in-the-ridge thing?

Not much choice, right?

There's gotta be some sort
of a reckoning... payback.

What kind of payback?

I'll know it when I see it.
The universe will provide.

Check it.

There's Nicky now with that
lolly from the other night,

the one you practically
K.O.'d due to your thuggery.

Is that right? Is that her?

I think he digs her.

Yeah, why wouldn't he?
I mean, she's a...

she's a...

Bro!

You're not gonna...

God, I love the universe.

Somewhere in these boxes is
my tenth grade report card

penned by Mrs. Gertrude Weiner.

Now if memory serves, Mrs.
Weiner waxed rhapsodic in those pages--

a love letter to all
things Nick Garrett.

And you think that if you
present it to the dean,

- she'll see the light.
- Exactly.

The dean gives me the job,

Hannah sees that I'm committed,
I have a "function"...

Hannah tells me the
truth about Sam.

Handing over a 12-year-old
report card as a job reference--

it may come across
a little... goofy.

See, I thought about that.

But the goofiness is
part of the plan.

It's charm.

I'll get it.

Hey.

Hey, Sam.

You ready for that catch?

You know,
now's not really a good time.

Uh, I'll come back later.

I don't think so.

I'm gonna be busy...

indefinitely.

Indefinitely?

Like... forever?

Not forever...

but just for now.

Okay.

Bang! Boom! You just gave
the heisman to a 10-year-old.

Hannah told me to stay away.

Well, even so, I mean,
that's cold, brophus.

That--that's popsicle cold.

Polar bear cold.
Eskimo cold. Igloo cold--

I got it, Ronnie!

Do you know the first thing they
legislated when rebuilding New Orleans?

They went wi-fi and hooked up the
entire city with wireless internet.

Well, it's good enough for a city under
water, it's good enough for Knights Ridge.

- Hey!
- Jasper! Casper!

What do you say you boys
don't do that, okay?

Don't play with your peas.

So, Sam...

how's life in the hustle?

Peaks and valleys.

- Is this about Nick?
- Nick?

What about Nick?

Because I told you, sweetie,
Nick is just visiting.

That's how you have to think about it,
and you shouldn't let it hurt your feelings.

Can I be excused?

Okay.

Plates in the sink.

What?

If I say it,
it's gonna be a thing.

Say it.

Okay.

It's just...

you invite me and the boys
over for a nice dinner,

and I'm sitting here looking
into your beautiful eyes,

enjoying your signature
cranberry pork chop,

only to find out there's some kind of
hidden drama with Nick Garrett, you and Sam.

There's no hidden drama.

How would I know?

All that I want,
all that I have ever worked for,

is for us to one
day be a family.

I'm sorry about the
way my boys torment Sam

I'm just trying to make
things right here.

I know you are,
and you've been amazing.

We're good.

Nick can't change any of that.

He probably won't even stick around,
and if he does...

so what?

We're good right now, Ray.

We're good.

Dude, is that Eddie Latekka crossing
ooad and going to the Doof?

Eddie Latekka never
goes to the Doof.

Hey, kid, come here!

Wait. Hold on!
I wanna get a look at ya.

Hey, Kitty.

- Hello, Hannah.
- Hello.

My pet here needs a
little attending to.

This is yours, Mr. Garrett?

Yeah, that's right.

How old is this cat?

- He's 7.
- This cats a female.

Yeah.

And, um... what's her name?

Sunrise.

And, um,
what's wrong with Sunrise?

I don't know.
He's just a little, um... sluggish.

- She.
- She.

Is that your son?

Sam.

You're my paperboy.

Yeah.

I'll have Dr.
Jeffers take a look.

I'll have Dr.
Jeffers take a look.

Oh, that'd be great.

I'll be back for him later.

- Her.
- Her. Her.

Good-bye, Sunrise.

Why did he bring Bumper here?

I have no idea.

This is our cat.

Hey, you, um... got a second?

Well, not if the upshot
is catastrophic injury.

Nah, it's nothing like that.
I just wanna apologize

for roughing up your friend.

A few too many tequilas...
misguided anger.

Mm-hmm, yep.

So you, uh,
you have a problem with Nick Garrett?

Garrett? Nah.
I went to high school with the guy,

but I hardly know him.

Man, I haven't been
here in years.

It was occasioned by what?

Well, my desire to make
things right by you, and...

and to give you this.

You made me a mix?

I made you a mix.

- I'm Aubrey.
- Eddie.

Interesting selections,
especially track two.

You know, I'd have pegged you for
more of a John Cougar Mellencamp guy

than a John Cougar guy.

So... you maybe wanna
hang out sometime,

talk a little more evolution of
Mellencamp, little pink houses and such?

Tonight good?

I'm meeting some
friends at Sully's.

Maybe I stop by?

Maybe you do.

Hey.

- You and ma.
- Yeah.

She'd have got a kick out of all
the fanciness you got going on.

I don't know.

I think she might've been creased
from me staying away ten years.

But you're back now...
where you belong.

That's all that counts.

It's how you close the game,
not the score at halftime.

Hold on. Pay dirt!

- Is that the report card?
- Yeah!

But it's wounded.

It's smudged.

It's unreadable.

Game over.

Not true.
I think we can do much better.

Forget about handing
in ancient documents.

Nothing beats a
live testimonial.

It's like I always say--
if you can't deliver the bacon,

bring 'em the pig.

You always say that?

Well, I will from now on.

If you can't deliver the bacon,
bring 'em the pig.

Thank you for seeing me again.

You said you were bringing pie.

No, I didn't.

My assistant told me,
"Nicholson Garrett called to say

he'd like to come by again,
but this time he's bringing pie."

That's why I agreed.

No pie?

- No pie.
- Then good day.

Just... hear me out.

Okay, I know how
you feel about me,

and I know that there's nothing
that I can say to change your mind.

But... how about the
words of a fellow teacher?

I present Mrs.
Gertrude Weiner--

45-year veteran of the
Massachusetts educational system,

and my tenth grade
english teacher.

How do you do? It's a pleasure.

I, um, I-I just want you to know that
Nicholas is a wonderful young man.

Watching him maneuver his
way through semicolons,

I-I knew he would go far.

You should think of what he
can bring to the students.

I am thinking of the students.

That's why I am not
hiring Mr. Garrett,

because he is the very worst
thing a teacher could be--

a dilettante,

someone who does a job to
suit his momentary needs.

He reminds me of another man

who came down to teach at a school
in a parish of New orleans.

Only this man--

he told the students that
they could learn to sing.

And so he sang to them,
and the song was...

"Where is love?" from
the show "Oliver!"

But then this man--

he left soon after,
back to his real life,

leaving the
students devastated.

I remember that because I
was one of those children,

and I remember the crushing
sense of loss when that man left.

So do not talk to me about the students,
Mrs. Weiner,

because everything I do,

every fiber of my being
is for these students.

I'm sorry. She-- Oh. Excuse me.

Sorry.

Hello? Hey, Hannah.

My father? What?

I told you I wasn't going to
meddle in Hannah's affairs,

and then you go and do that?

It was their cat!

You demented? Huh?

Hannah's not a moron. She knows exactly
why you went in there, boy detective.

And I'll tell you what--

she's furious,
and she has a right to be.

- I mean, you literally, you just...
- He has her eyes.

...walked in there with some cat
that you scooped off the sidewalk

and some ridiculous
story about--

Nicky...

he has her eyes.

What did you say?

The boy.

He has your mother's eyes.

The girl at the end of the bar
thought you looked thirsty.

The rabbit-faced one?

No, pert and perky
on the corner.

Dude... what goes on?

Nothing. I'm just...
not in the mood.

- Are you okay, Eddie?
- Yeah.

I've never seen you
pass up an opportunity.

I'm just tired of all the endless
chitchat about meaningless bock

that accompanies
these... hookups.

Maybe you should try a
different type of girl--

fewer empty calories...
more nutrition.

Maybe I should turn
over a new leaf.

Maybe you're not looking
in the right places.

Let me grab two fresh ones.

There's a new leaf.

Go turn it over.

Hey.

People in small-town america
really do this, Mr. Garrett?

Throw rocks at windows?

I'm sorry for the intrusion.

Oh, honey,
we are well past the intrusion phase.

This is more like an invasion.

Look, I'm trying to confront the
stuff that I ran from years ago,

and I'm willing to face anything--
anything that comes my way.

I will not leave you, dean Etwood,
or your students either.

This time,
I'm not leaving anything

until it's ready to be left.

Well, what an
inspirational tale.

But right now, Mr.
Garrett, I'm going back to sleep.

Please, dean Etwood!

Just...

Remember your "Oliver Twist"?

What?

What are you talking about?

♪ Where is love? ♪

♪ Does it fall from
skies above? ♪

What the heck do you
think you're doing?

♪ Is it underneath
the willow tree ♪

♪ That I've been dreaming of? ♪

Have you lost your mind?

You have no idea.

Please.

I will open up
registration on monday.

You can start your
class a week from then,

but strictly on a
probationary basis.

Now get the hell off my lawn

before I remember where I
keep my ex-husband's shotgun.

Okay, thank you so much.
Thank you.

- Get off my lawn now.
- I'm leaving right now.

Bye.

Twice in one week?

Should I be worried about you?

I'll let you know in
about half an hour.

I'm gonna grab a booth.

There is no way a talking
raccoon lives in your backyard.

Ralphie-the-talking-raccoon. It's
real as rain.

You don't believe me,
come see for yourself.

- I'm five minutes away.
- Okay. All right. I'll bite.

But if there's no Ralphie, you pick
up the tab for my friends tonight.

Deal. But if there
is a Ralphie,

I get to hold your
hand for five minutes.

- Three minutes.
- Four.

Three and a half,
but no stroking.

Done.

Shall we?

See you, guys.

Talking raccoon...

failproof.

Well, everybody, here we are!

- Don't I look awesome?
- Okay. Thank you.

Hi.

Do you like my...

Looks like another date
night for the Rowans.

Lame.

I think it's cute the way they keep
the torch of married love alive.

Oh, what's he got on,
six-shooters and spurs?

Or is he Robin Hood again? Huh?

It's toned down
from last month.

A tailcoat and
top hat for him...

Yeah, sounds mad discreet.

And for, uh,
what's her name again?

- Alison.
- Right.

A slutty but super
sexy cocktail dress.

Oh, hey, buddy!

Come on. Have a drink with us.

I'm good.
You guys do your thing.

You sure?

All right, buddy.
We'll do our thing.

- Hey, Ikey.
- Hey.

Go get 'em, Pythagoras.

Hey, Ralphie! Come on out.
We got company.

Ralphie, come out, buddy.

Are you really gonna play
this whole thing out?

Oh. He does this
every now and again.

Don't worry. He'll appear.

- Ralphie!
- What's all the racket down there?

Hey, Phil, is Ralphie around?

I heard him come in,

but he might've gone
back out for smokes.

Wow, you guys are
seriously bent.

Whoa. This is no
laughing matter.

Okay, Ralphie has tried to
quit many times before.

Big tobacco's really got
their claws in that raccoon.

Oh! Did you hear that?

I think Ralphie might be home.

Ralphie, that you?

What do you want, Latekka?

Come say hi. We got a visitor.

Leave me alone!

Sometimes he gets
a little cranky.

Dude, would you just...
don't be rude!

Come on out for two seconds.

I'm tired, all right?
It's been a long day.

Who is the babe, though?

Very hot.

No wonder Nick Garrett's
got a thing for her, huh?

See? There really is
a talking raccoon.

I believe it's time to
cash in on my winnings.

- Wow. Really?
- What?

What was that Ralphie
said about Nick Garrett?

What? Uh...
I don't know. He's drunk.

So that's what
this is all about.

What?

Somewhere in the frozen
tundra of your brain,

you think that getting with me
is gonna bother Nick, right?

And the very idea of that
makes you feel tall?

But that's not what this is--

But isn't it, though,

that this is... all about that?

So, what if it is?

Now that you're here...

I'm here because I'm
23 and I'm stupid.

What's your excuse?

Hey, Ralphie,
you seem like a nice guy.

I think you can do better than
"Casa-no-good" over here.

Thanks for nothing, pal.

Hey. Can I get two
champagne cocktails?

- Coming up.
- Thank you.

So I left you a message.

I know.

And you, uh,
you never called back.

I, uh... things were hectic.

See you tuesday?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great dress.

Hey! Wow!

Hello, Mr. Eichorn.

Hey.

Thank you.

You said you had news?

I got a job...

at the Doof.

You told me.

Right.

I know you know.

I told you.

Look, I'm really sorry about my dad.
I swear I had no idea.

- But about Sam...
- Yeah?

Look...

I completely respect you
being protective over him,

and I would not want to offend
that in any way, but...

but...

something slipped
out the other day,

something that
Sam said about...

his peanut allergy.

Sure. Sam has a peanut allergy.

- So?
- So?

All the men in my family
have peanut allergies,

which are kinda rare, and considering
the math and when I left town--

- You're unbelievable.
- There's, like, a 60% chance

of all nut allergies originating
from a genetic inheritance.

Which means what?
He's your son?

I just think that's kinda rare.

- It's not that rare.
- Yeah, it is.

No, it's not.

1% of the population.
3 million americans have it.

Excuse me, everyone?

What are you doing?

Can I see a show of hands for
everyone here with a nut allergy?

Okay, please sit down.

Can we talk like
adults, please?

I'm serious. Put them up.
I know you're out there.

You got a peanut allergy, too?

Maybe.

See? It's not that rare.

Good night, Nick, and good-bye.

Hannah...

Gavin Goddard.
That is Sam's father's name.

He was a philosophy major at Harvard.
I met him a month after you left

at a pub in Boston.

He had a goatee

and a tattoo of the notorious B.I.G.
on his back.

You want more details?

How about this one?

I did it because I knew in my bones
that you were never coming home to me.

Are you satisfied?

Hey.

What happened to the brunette?

She wasn't an animal person.

What's up with Ikey?

Don't know.

He was hitting it
pretty hard tonight.

Do you want me to
drag him out of here?

No need. He's spent plenty
of nights in that booth.

He'll find his way
home when he wakes up.

Buy one for the house?

Certainly.

I've always said, Eddie,
as shady as it may be,

you gotta admire a guy who
conjures up a talking raccoon

to impress the ladies.

Yeah.

I think maybe what I gotta work on is
the type of ladies I'm trying to impress.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Night, Janet.
- Night.

Here you go, pal.

Maybe sometime you want to
come out and meet Ernesto

the singing koala bear
who lives in my attic?

Are you asking me out, Eddie?

I don't know.

I guess.

Just think about it.

Tell you what...

I'll think about it.

- Night.
- Night.

Transcript : Raceman
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