All language subtitles for Northern Exposure s06e14 The Mommys Curse.eng

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

(PANTlNG)

Mary Margaret,
my little girl! Hi!

Let me look at you.

Look at you.

You look beautiful.

Oh, actually,
l need a haircut.

No, you don't.
Oh, yes, l do.

Here we are.
There you are.

Yes.

l'm LeLand Cole. Delighted.

Hi. Nice to meet you.
Glad you could join my mother.

Thank you.

LeLand saved my life
at the Panama Canal.

The ship hit some weather

and l had used up
all my Dramamine

when that lovely man
appeared at the rail.

Let that be a lesson to you,
Mary Margaret.

Always pack
plenty of Dramamine

and keep your eye
on the horizon.

Well, actually,
Mother, it's 45 degrees above the horizon.

Oh, you can't
tell my daughter anything.

Mother, l'm a bush pilot.
l think l know a thing or two about motion sickness.

You see?

Martinis?

He is so much fun.

Well, okay.

Straight up
with an olive, Lel. Yes.

But, darling, where's Joel?

Oh...

At the office?

Oh, well...

Oh, the lot
of a doctor's wife.

Well, wife to be.

We'll invite him for dinner.

Well, l'm afraid that
you're not gonna be able to see Joel this trip, Mother.

No?

He's in the bush, Mother.

Vaccinating. Children.
A lot of them.

And he's way out there.
Very remote.

They don't even have a phone.
Nothing.

But he said to tell you
how much he missed you and...

Yeah, that's what
he said to say.

He said,
''Tell your mother, hi."

Oh, that's too bad.

We have so much
to talk about.

Guest lists, invitations.

Well, you know, Mother,
we haven't actually set a date yet.

Oh, well,
l would say May or June.

But it's never
too early to start planning a wedding.

l did the moment
you told me Joel had proposed.

And high time he did,
if you ask me.

Do you need ice?
Yes.

Okay, l'll get some ice.

Well, these ice cubes might
be a little old, LeLand.

As long as they're cold,
young lady.

That's this fella's
considered opinion.

Well, let's get down
to business, shall we?

Here you are,
Mary Margaret.

This is yours.
What's this?

Your trust fund, dear.
As of the first of the year, you've come of age.

Wow! l didn't know
l had that much.

Well, dear, you didn't
until l got Howard Nucomb off his duff.

Your father had
everything poking along in public utilities.

Whoa! Well,
it's almost doubled.

That's my Janey.
Full steam ahead.

Oh, poo, Lel,
a couple of hunches, that's all.

Commodities.
And l want you to know

l was prepared
to cover any losses, Mary Margaret,

and then it just came in.

Oh. Well, thank you.

Now, you are not
to spend a dime of it on the wedding.

We won't let you.

l've talked to
Frank and Grammy and it's all taken care of.

Mother,
about the wedding...

Now, l just want to say
one thing about the money, Mary Margaret.

This is your nest egg,
understand?

Yours.
And you have to protect it.

Mother, l'm not gonna go out
and spend it on shoes.

l'm talking about
a prenuptial agreement, dear.

No reflection on Joel.

He's a very nice young man
and l know you two are very much in love.

Mother...

For once, just listen,
Mary Margaret.

Things change.
Look at me.

And in this day and age,
a woman needs her own money.

Okay.

Thank you, Mother.

Need two tasty ones, Maurice.

See if l can't get
some of my paycheck back from the doc, here.

Me? How about
Vincoeur over here? He's sitting on a pile.

''The lone man gazed
and gazed upon his gold,

''His sweat, his blood,
the wage of weary days,

''But now how sweet to hold,

''All gay and gleamy
to the campfire blaze''

The man gets
a couple of bucks up

and he starts
with that doggerel.

Doggerel?
That's hardly doggerel, Maurice.

That's Robert Service.
Poet laureate of the wild.

Maurice was never
a fan of Service.

Well, he doesn't know
what he's missing, does he?

The WhistIe of Sandy McGraw.
That'll tear your heart out. Boy, that's my favorite.

Hello?
Are we playing poker here or what?

What're you gonna do,
Holling?

Oh, l'm good.

Oh, great.
He gets a little more money,

he'll be nailing mahogany
to that skiff of his.

You got a boat, Holling?

Building one.

S.S . Miranda BIiss.

By the time he gets it
in the water, that kid'll be a grandmother.

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

You're building a boat
from plans?

Man, that's ambitious.

Boy, that's gotta take
every tool in the box.

Well, it's funny
you should mention it.

l got tools A to Z.

But you know the only thing
l'm using lately? What's that?

An old egg beater
hand drill.

Oh, l know how that is.

You really get to feel
the bite of the wood with a tool like that.

That is so true, Phil.

l mean, that's it exactly.

You two chatty Kathys
wanna knock it off?

What're you gonna do,
Holling?

Oh, sorry.

From my golden horde,
25 cents.

See the sign?
''Closed for inventory."

So it's just you and me, huh?

Walt?

l was gonna stop
and clean up first,

but the light was on.
l couldn't help myself.

Walt.

But you're back so soon?
l thought you said all month?

Traps weren't catching,
Ruth-Anne.

All l got is a couple of
bushy-tailed wood rats.

One of them's missing
a piece out of his hide.

Well, to tell you the truth,
l'm glad you're back.

We heard
the weather blew up nasty.

No picnic.

Nearly lost my uppers
in a snow drift.

Arthritis started stirring up.

These bones aren't
getting any younger.

Walt, have you ever
thought about retiring?

Wading through drifts
up around my ears?

You bet.

But what would l do?
Lay about town?

Might as well park me
in the booby hatch.

Well, l have an idea.
What?

You could work here.

ln the store?

Well, that's what
l was thinking.

Dry goods?

No, not for me.

Well, it'd be nice
and warm for a change.

True, but don't you
have Ed?

Oh, we can always use
another pair of hands.

lt'd free me up
to do book work.

Well,

company's pleasant,
l'll say that.

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)

Hi, Shelly.
Say, hey, Maurice.

ls Holling in the back?
We gotta get going.

Two Denvers, no Jack.

Holling isn't here.

Not here?

Well, where is he?

He's working on his boat.

You mean he's working
on that dingy on our steam day?

Uh-huh.
Him and Dr. Phil.

Well, for crying out loud.
lt's our steam day!

HOLLlNG: Okay, here's one
for you, Philip. PHlL: All right.

''lt isn't the foe
that we fear,

''lt isn't the bullet's whine,

''lt isn't
the business career

''Of a shell,
or the bust of a mine,

PHlL: ''lt isn't the snipers
who seek

Oh, you're good.

''To nip our young hopes
in the bud,

BOTH: ''No, it isn't the guns,

''And it isn't the Huns,

''lt's the mud, mud, mud''

How you doing, Maurice?

Holling, what's going...
What're you doing out here?

Hey, Maurice.
What do you think here?

Me and my able assistant
have progressed so far

that we started
planking the hull.

Pretty, isn't she?

Gorgeous.

Holling, it's banya day.

Why don't you finish this up
and let's get on the road?

Banya day?

Oh, Maurice, l forgot.

You forgot?

(LAUGHlNG)
Well, how could you forget?

l mean we've been
going over there

taking the steam
since they opened.

l've got the pumpernickel
and the aquavit on ice.

All we gotta do is
stop in Cantwell

for that creamed
herring you like, and we're all set.

Oh, Maurice, l can't do that.

l've got Philip here
working on the boat.

Oh, l'm sorry, Phil.

But we've got
standing reservations,

Holling and l do,
for just two.

lt's not a problem, Holling.
l can work on the boat any day.

No. We're right in
the middle of things here.

l'm about ready
to start mixing the glue.

You said you'd already
done the measurements on the saw cuts?

You mean you're not going?

Well...

You could
stay here with us. Here?

Yeah. You know,
help out with the boat.

We could have lunch later.

We could figure out something
for you to do. Right, Philip?

Plenty of planning to do.

No, l think not.

Really?

Okay.

Gentlemen, another time.

We'll see you, Maurice.

See you later, Maurice.

Why, Philip, you're trying
to weasel out of the planning already?

You got some little blister
on your pinky finger?

Stand back, Vincoeur.

Shavings are gonna
fly around here.

''Oh, the midnight lights
have seen such sights,

''But the queerest
they ever did see

''Was the night on the barge
of Lake Lebarge

BOTH: ''When l cremated
Sam McGee''

Your first day,
l think l'll put you on the canned fruit.

Point me at it, Ruth-Anne.

Now, here's what we do.
About every six months, we rotate.

We bring the back cans
up to the front...

And the front cans
in the back.

Yeah.
Makes sense to me.

And since we're here,
they should be faced, Walt.

That is,
with the label showing.

l wasn't finished.

Oh, and you want to dust.

Yes, ma'am.

And more than just the tops.

lf you have any questions,
Ed will show you.

Oh, l'll have some
questions all right, Ed.

(PHONE RlNGlNG)
First day job l've had in, what,

40 some years.

Cool.

Hello?

Okay, two dashes
Angostura bitters.

Four jiggers bourbon.

Two jiggers vermouth.

Right.

Yeah, so why do they call it
a Manhattan, then?

Let me get back
to you on that.

LeLand,
it's your break, man.

And don't even think
about trying to run the table on me this time.

Ever the optimist,
huh, Hayden?

Fortification.

Ladies.

Sweetface.

Seems the young man
has not yet felt the jaws of defeat sufficiently.

Go ahead, Lel.
Enjoy yourself.

We're doing fine here.

We are, aren't we, dear?

Oh, l think so.
Absolutely.

l mean, l'm fine
and you're fine.

So everything's fine.

l'll be back
before the soup arrives.

Well, he's nice, Mother.

Oh, we're just
having a little fling.

He's good as gold,
never complains.

What do you kids call it?
Low maintenance.

Can you excuse me
for a minute?

Mmm-hmm. Sure.

Fleischman,
what are you doing here?

(STAMMERlNG)
What are you doing here?

lsn't that your mom?

Don't look.

Okay? She doesn't know
about us.

You, this, it.
Any of it.

Now l know you're right.

But look, Fleischman,
she's finally off my back. All right?

l'm giving her what she wants,
or at least she thinks l am.

Mary Margaret
married like a normal person. You know what l mean?

So could you
do this for me? Yeah, all right.

We can ice fish any time.

Okay. l appreciate it.

Did l tell you
l like this new you?

See you. Bye.
See you.

Hi.
ls everything all right, dear?

Oh, yes. lt's just...
Who was that man?

Oh, it's just a local. Lost.

He looked familiar.

Well, he wasn't.

Three chicken noodles.

Great. l'll get LeLand.

Yo, Maggie,
you gonna play the winner?

lt's not over until
the fat lady sings.

Oh, maybe later, Hayden.

LeLand, soup's on.

Guy's patient
lining up a shot.

Aren't you, Leland?

Doesn't seem to care
who he keeps waiting.

LeLand? Lunch.

LeLand?

Yo! LeLand?

Uh-oh.

Oh, no.

Mother, could you
come here for a second?

Wow, was he trying
to bank the one ball?

Off this rail.

Guys, give me a hand.
Help me lay him up here if you don't mind.

HAYDEN: Sure, Doc.

Easy. Just scoot him up there.

Fella sure has
his Mr. Boston down.

He could bartend
at the Ritz.

Who knew?
The guy didn't even cough.

l'm sorry.

Mother.

Oh, my God.

Just like that?

LeLand.

His soup's still warm.

Guys, what're we
gonna do with him?

Hey, Shelly's right,
all those winter holes l dug,

they're all spoken for.
Holes?

You mean a grave?
Yes.

No, no, we just can't
bury him here.

l'm sure his people
would want him back.

l think he has family
in Ohio.

Or is it lowa?

l always get
those two confused.

Mother, you don't
even know where he's from?

l told you.
We met on a ship.

Death certificate?
Yeah.

l'll show you
where they are.

Well, there's nothing
anyone could've done.

Probably a massive aneurism
in the brain stem.

A stroke.

Rest assured, he went quickly.

MAGGlE: Thanks.

So sincere.

You didn't mention
another doctor.

Doctor?

Oh, no. No, Mom.

He's more a veterinarian.

Veterinarian?
Yeah.

Don't be afraid
to wallop yourself a good one there, son.

Already, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

Whack yourself good there.

Get that blood flowing.

You might knock
a little oomph into yourself.

There! Raise some welts.

Come on, hit yourself.
Go ahead.

Yeah, that's better.

You feel good now,
don't you?

Rejuvenated.

Can you imagine
anybody passing up a chance for a good banya?

Oh! lmagine.

Come on.

Have some of this
creamed herring.

Little sour pumpernickel.

Some onion.

l already
had three, Maurice. Here.

Have another one. Eat.

What's the matter with you?

l just don't feel
too good, that's all.

You don't feel very good?

l thought you people knew
your way around a good sweat?

Oh, l think
it's the crawdaddies and hot sauce we had earlier.

Well, here. Can l change
your mind about this aquavit?

Oh, no more.
Please, Maurice.

What's the matter
with you, son?

You're about as much fun
as a flat in a hailstorm.

l'm sorry, Maurice.

Tell you what.

We'll get that steam
swirling around in here,

get you past
that bellyache.

Here we go.

There we go. Now, Ed,

you gotta breathe
through your nose.

l said breathe
through your nose.

(GROANlNG)

Well, it would take
an autopsy to know for sure,

but even money says
he just stroked.

You know, like somebody
just turned out the light.

Just like that.

Peanut butter and pickles?

Yours.

lt just goes to show you
you never know, do you, Philip?

You should never not
savor each and every day.

Simple things.

Like pounding nails

or sharing a sandwich
with your compeer.

You didn't happen
to see Maurice there?

No. l don't think so. No.

lt's not as if he hasn't
canceled banya days on me.

Plenty.
What, with flying off to speak here,

and, you know,
wheeling and dealing there...

Aha! Shelly remembered
my Miracle Whip.

Dr. Capra?

Where to, Doc?

Right over here, thanks.

l hate having to
leave him in a barn.

Well, all he needs
to be is cold, Mother.

HOLLlNG: And, ma'am,
the doors will help keep the predators out.

Well, l suppose
it's all right for a few days.

God, you poor man.

l am so sorry.

You can get
a shipping casket

right there at Anchorage
lnternational Airport.

Sealed aluminum.
Pretty much standard.

Sealed aluminum.
l'll remember that.

Remember that, Mary Margaret.
Sealed aluminum.

Oh, don't forget to ask
for your mourner's discount on your flight south.

Even though she's
not the next of kin?

She's gonna accompany
the body, Holling.

l've contacted
the medical examiner in Anchorage.

lt's pretty much pro forma.

Man his age,
they don't usually require an autopsy.

Thank you.
You've been very kind. Really.

Every bit as competent
as a real doctor.

Pardon?

Mother, shouldn't we
get going?

We have a lot
of phone calls to make.

l mean, there's just
so much to do.

You know,
it might be Dayton.

That's right. His ex-wife
was a Firestone.

Shelves are stocked,
apples are binned.

Give anybody
a lunch break around here?

Thought l'd head over
to The Brick and pick up a couple of tuna melts.

My, you finished
with the canned goods already?

And keep it in your pocket,
l'm buying today.

Wait. Wait, what's this?

What?

All this Dinty Moore
out in the aisle.

Thought you said
you stocked?

This?

lt's a POP display,
Ruth-Anne. What?

POP. Point of purchase.

Oh, l know what that is.

Ruth-Anne, what's
your fastest selling winter item?

Well, these 303 cans
of Dinty Moore.

You can't keep
them on the shelves.

Exactly.
So why put them there?

lt's just wasted motion.

Plus, frees up
some new real estate on those shelves

for some of your
high profit items.

Women's sundries, perhaps,
lipstick, lotions and such.

No.
Why not?

Because that isn't the way
we do things around here.

Won't even try it?

l think it's a good idea.

lt's easier to buy it
by the case this way.

Not that l need
case today.

l don't care, Barbara Jean.

l'm not going to have
some raggedy-tag cardboard castle

junking up my aisles.

lt's marketing,
for God's sakes.

Walt,
if you don't want to stock, then l will.

Have it your way.

'Cause it takes one alderman
to screw the light bulb in

and six
to pick your pocket.

Oh, and they do
pick your pockets, too, don't they?

Bunch of crooks.

Maurice.
Hey.

Excuse me.

Good to see you, Maurice.

Evening.

l guess you heard
that we were having

calves liver
and onions tonight?

Shall l get Eugene
to bread you up some?

No, thanks, Holling.
l'm not very hungry.

Maurice,

l'm awfully sorry about
forgetting our banya day.

That's all right.
l went up anyway, had a wonderful time.

Took a friend with me.

Well, good.

Holling, you know
that color TV

l loaned you a while ago?

l'm gonna need that back.

You are?

Yeah.
For my back guest bedroom.

The one l have in there
doesn't have a remote.

l see.

Well, heck,
you're probably not watching it anyway.

You don't have time.

What with all the things
that you and Phil are doing together.

You know,
monkeying with that boat.

Whatever else it is
you're doing.

lt's my TV.

l'll get it for you.

Sure you don't need
any help?

Everything's under control.

Smells good.
Thank you.

Serve you?

Just one to start,
please.

About those
Dinty Moores...

lt was an eyesore, Walt.

Tell that to the boys
at Wal-Mart.

You don't see them
closing shop.

lf somebody'd trip
and fall over them, they'd sue me naked.

Don't pay insurance?

You want my premiums
to go up?

Just digging in to win.

Can you just drop it?

Fine.
Good.

Walt, let's not.

All right.

Look at us,
arguing over canned goods.

And ruining a fine dinner
in the process.

We'll keep work at work.

Agreed.

Good.

Oh, there's
a bundt cake for dessert.

Don't think
l didn't peek.

Oh, you.

There you are, Lel.

You hated the sheets
tucked tight, didn't you?

Or was that Frank?

Well, anyway,
l wanted to tell you,

l tracked down
your ex-wife in Youngstown

and she's calling
your brother.

l didn't know
you went to Rutgers.

Jeffy applied there.
My son.

Well, anyway,
you'll be on your way before you know it.

You dear man.

Look at you.

l am so sorry.

No trans-Canadian train trip.

No dome car.

Mother?

Mary Margaret?

What are you doing here?
ls everything okay?

Oh, l was just checking
on poor LeLand.

Well, he's fine, right?

Don't you want
to get some sleep? l mean, it's been a long day.

Oh, Mary Margaret,
he was so full of life.

Whooping it up
to the fullest.

And then what has
to happen to him? He has to go and meet me.

Mother.
Oh, it's true.

lt's true. lt's me.

Just ask Frank.

Daddy?

He said our marriage
was killing him. That's what he said.

He said he was dying
in our marriage.

Now, Mother,
that is just an expression.

You know, people say
that all the time.

Well, tell that to LeLand.

Tell it to Cappy.

Who?

Cappy Moss.

An old flame.

Summer of my sophomore year.

We were out in the canoe.

Poor boy was
showing off for me.

Dove in.

Never came up.

Your boyfriend?

He drowned?

Wait.

Robert Henzell.

l haven't thought
of that picnic in years.

But he was allergic
to bee stings.

l mean, l can't be
blamed for that.

These were your boyfriends?

They died?

l told him not
to swat that bee.

l swear l did.

lt is me. lt is.

l do do it, don't l?

Do what?

Do what?

You should've told me.

Now you know l have
a history with men.

l mean,
l've lost five boyfriends.

And now this? And this!

Don't you see, Mother?

We're cursed,
pariahs for any male that comes into our life.

We either kill them
or we drive them away.

Well, that is just not true,
Mary Margaret.

lt isn't?

Of course not.

Look at...
Look at you and Joel.

Mother...

(MOANlNG)

There's something
l have to tell you.

Joel's not...

No, he's not.
lt's not that. He's...

(EXHALlNG)

He's gone.

Really gone.

So it's off?

l was gonna tell you.
l was.

l don't know,
it just got easier not to tell you, you know.

l am so sorry.

l am so, so sorry.

Oh, you don't have to be.

But l am.

l'm all set,
Ruth-Anne.

Ruth-Anne,
l'm handy at the register.

You stay with
your magazine remainders.

Are you sure?

Come on, Dwight,
let's get you out of here, old boy.

One chorizo dinner.
On sale. Good eye.

Chocolate cream pie,
calories be damned, eh?

DWlGHT: l guess.

What's this, Desenex?

Got the athlete's foot,
have you, Dwight?

Just a touch.

There's a fungus among us.

ltches like the devil,
l bet, huh?

Cracking up on you?

Well, yeah.

l'll take the register
now, Walt. Hmm?

l said, l'll finish up
with Dwight.

Oh, l've got it, Ruth-Anne.
l'm doing just fine.

And l said l'll take
the register now.

What? l got
my total running.

Well, if we could just keep
your mouth from running.

What's that supposed
to mean?

''Fungus among us."
lt's a medical condition, athlete's foot.

And it's chronic
with Dwight.

Has it ever occurred to you
that he might be sensitive about it?

Ruth-Anne,
l'm kind of in a hurry.

Chronic, huh?
Well, why don't you tell him

to chronically wash
between his toes, change his socks regular?

Ruth-Anne.

Get out from behind here.

l'm not going to
ask you again.

Ruth-Anne...
And you shush, Dwight.

l told you
l'd get to you.

And you're the expert
on customer relations.

We all know that.

lt's all over, everybody.
Shop. Go on.

Where were we, Dwight?

$1 .59.

Back home in Santa Monica Bay,
there's actually a sign up that says,

''Do not eat more than
two pounds of fish per month from these waters."

Philip, mon ami,
you are in for a treat.

We're gonna hook ourselves
some of those

fat walleyed pikes,

head that boat of ours
right toward the shore,

and then you are
in for a treat.

You're gonna eat,
my friend.

There's Maurice.

Hey, Maurice.

Just coming up
to see you. That a fact?

Yeah. Yeah, we're just
getting ready

to do the joint work
on the boat,

and it seems that
you have bought up all of the Fiber-Seal Plus.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, l'm gonna lay
a coat on my deck.

Come on.
ln the middle of the winter?

l heard the price
might be going up.

Well, l'm gonna need
one of those gallons.

Sorry. l can't help you.

You don't need
all six of them.

l have to coat
the bottom, too, don't l?

That is a bunch of bunk
and you know it.

You have a problem
with that, Vincoeur?

Every little thing's
gotta be just your way, doesn't it?

Always got to be
on your schedule.

Hey, hey, Holling,
it's no big deal.

We'll just drive over
to Cantwell.

We're not going
to Cantwell, Philip.

Those are my cans.

Oh, for Pete's sake,
here's some money.

l don't want your money.

Well, l want
one of these cans of varnish.

Give me that can!
Guys, guys.

Give it to me!

You go to hell!
Guys, cut it out!

(ALL CLAMORlNG)

(SHOUTlNG lN FRENCH)
This is crazy, Holling.

Oh, you crazy Canuck!

Give me that hat.

This is crazy.
Would you come on?

l'll kill you, you...

HAYDEN:
What're you doing, Minnifield?

Look at my hat.

What're you looking at?

(TRUCK ENGlNE STARTlNG)

Maybe we should
take a break.

Well, we just had one.

Woman's got all her money
tied up in inventory, if you ask me.

lf she were smart,

she'd have
the wholesaler warehouse this dog food.

Yeah.

Gotta carry them down
the cellar stairs in this.

Gotta turn around
and pack them right back up again.

Fudge log?

Oh, thanks, Walt.

Nothing tastier
than five finger discount candy.

Filched. Pilfered.

Stolen.

Oh. You mean
you forgot to write it down in her little memo book.

Tightwad.
Shh!

She can hear you
through the walls, Walt.

Hear through them?
See through them sometimes, l think.

Caught me with
a carton of chocolate milk this morning.

(DOOR OPENlNG)
RUTH-ANNE: You two?

What's going on down there?

Nothing, Ruth-Anne!

Walt, l need to
see you in the office.

Toss them in the wringer
and twist them again.

Oh, Walt.

Better leave that
here with me.

(DOOR OPENlNG)

You want to see me, boss?

Come in, Walt,
and shut the door.

The door?

Please.

Now, Ruth-Anne...
l need to talk to you, Walt.

Damn celery tops,
l knew it. lt's not the celery.

l took too much
off the head, but l had to.

Every stalk was cold burned.

l'd say something
to that fella. Man's a crook.

Please, Walt.

This is not easy for me.

And you're not
making it any easier. What?

This arrangement
is not working.

l don't think
retail suits you.

You're fresh
with the customers, belligerent to me...

When?

l am not going to
argue about it anymore.

l can't have it. l won't.

l'm sorry,
but l have to let you go.

Let me go?
That's right.

Are you trying
to fire me, woman? l'm sorry.

l've been fired
by better than you, missy.

At Merrill Lynch,
Charlie Merrill himself

called the guards
to get me out of the building.

Here l thought l was
doing you a favor.

l should've known.

(DOOR CLOSES)

MAN: Good night.

(R & B MUSIC PLAYING)

You know something,
Eugene?

You know what's
really ironic?

What?

My life.

My life, Eugene.

The whole thing.
l've spent the whole thing, my whole life,

my whole life trying
to be different from her.

Oh, your mother again, huh?

l mean, Mother stayed at home,
l had a career.

Mother was utterly
and hopelessly dependent

and l was totally
and completely independent.

Meek, adventurous, you know.
Polite.

Well, you know,
not rude, but, you know. You know?

(EXCLAlMlNG)

Pour you another one?
Mmm-hmm.

There's the irony, Eugene.

After all that
striving and effort

and geographics
and risk taking,

what do l find out
after all?

l don't know. What?

l'm just like her.

l'm just like my mother.

A clone.

Mrs. Jane Stowe O'Connell,

replicated to plague the earth
all over again.

Poison, Eugene,
me and my mother.

They either flee
or we kill them.

Every man we touch.

David.

Poor David.
Froze on that glacier.

And Steve Escandon was
struck by lightning.

And poor, stupid,
handsome Rick,

crushed by a satellite.

lnteresting.

Evening, Miss O'Connell.

You're looking
lovely tonight.

Seat occupied?
No.

Take it at your own risk.

Thank you.

(SlGHlNG)

Get your hat
patched, hon?

Ripped it plumb through
the brim and half the crown.

Never be the same.

Maybe you could
send for another one.

What, like a pair
of dress socks?

That what you mean?

This is my hat, Shelly.

My good Flechet trilby.

So. No?

lt's my hat.
lt was well broke in.

Set just right.
Brim cocked good. l'm...

That son of a bloodhound
ripped it right off my head, tore it to pieces.

That's a mortal insult.

A quebecois'd
kill a man for less.

Yeah?
Maybe l should've.

He's lucky l didn't
rip his liver right out and tear it to pieces.

They'll sell
snow cones in hell

before l talk to
Maurice Minnifield ever again.

He's just jealous, Holling.

Jealous?
What, of my Flechet?

No, silly,
of you and Doc Capra.

Oh. Philip?

Hanging at the boat.
Yukking it up at the bar.

Missing your steam.
Leaving the big Mo out.

l guess l somewhere knew
that Philip was in the mix.

But he had no right
to tear up my hat.

H., me and Ronnie Barad,
eighth grade.

We were thick
since we were six,

then Ginny Braych transferred
to Queen Victoria Middle.

Me and Ginny start hanging.

Well, Ronnie starts
acting weird, dissing Ginny.

And 'cause of what, okay?

'Cause of the big J,
Holling.

Jealousy.

Hey, what do you say?

Light the candles?

Turn down the sheets?

l'll make you
forget about Maurice.

WOMAN 1 :
She got her braces off.

MAN: l'll pick it up.

WOMAN 2: You know, l told them
l'd call them and l forgot.

Here you are.

Ruth-Anne.

Mind if l sit down?

lt's a free country.

Walt, l've been
giving it a lot of thought,

and l want you
to move in.

Move in?
That's right.

With you?
l know. l know.

l'm sorry about
the ruckus at the store. l really am.

But it just didn't work out.

That's putting it mildly.

But why ditch
the whole deal?

ls that what
you really want?

Face it. lf two people
can't get along, they don't get along.

Simple as that.
Get along?

We've been cooking together,

eating together,
sleeping together.

Now, correct me
if l'm alone in this,

but l thought we were
getting along fine?

We were.
So?

l don't
understand you, woman.

Frying pan gets hot
and you get the idea

you want to jump
right into the fire.

What is this?

You want to just dillydally?
ls that lt?

Well, if we're going
to crash and burn,

we might as well get it
over with.

l never said
it would be easy.

You nailed that one.

Let me tell you,
Mr. Kupfer.

l was doing fine
without you.

But damn it all,

what's it going to be,
yes or no?

l say yes. You?

Boy, you're some kind
of firecracker,

you know that,
Ruth-Anne Miller?

MAN: Bring it in
the other side.

That's good.

My daughter,
the bush pilot.

Yeah, well, some visit.
No wedding. Dead body.

Oh, now don't you be
brooding about weddings, Mary Margaret.

Well, you know,
l can't help it. l'm finished with men.

l don't need another MlA
on my conscience.

Oh, not that business
about you and men.

Me? What about you?

Mother, who was that
in the barn

anguishing over Cappy Moss,
and LeLand,

and Mr. Bee sting.

Dear, you just caught me
at a low ebb.

That poor Cappy
was just showing off.

lt wasn't anybody's fault
but his own.

And a bee sting?
Heavens.

Oh, speaking of which,
here's LeLand.

l think it's them,
Mary Margaret. Men.

They have no fortitude.

They're always dying
or skedaddling off at the first hint of trouble.

And tell me this,
who is left to pick up the pieces?

Ship the body,
clean out the closets? Us!

And they have the audacity
to call us the weaker sex.

l don't know, Mother,

physiologically
we are smaller, weaker, you know.

Oh, poo!

Chinese women
give birth in a field

and go back
and finish a day's work.

Careful, now.

And men,
they get a hangnail and it's call 91 1 .

That's true.

Well, you know something,
Mary Margaret?

l really ought to
thank your father.

l mean, before Frank left,

l had never paid a bill
or done the taxes.

l didn't know
a portfolio position

from a hole in the ground.

Watch his head now.
MAN: Sorry.

What was l gonna do?
Roll over and play dead?

Those mutuals of
his barely made bank interest.

And those taxable
municipals?

l mean, was he crazy?
Pure Frank.

Steady, but uninspired.

You know, you're right.

Well, l don't bet
the bank on any one deal, mind you,

but you've got to
risk something in order to get a reasonable return.

MAGGlE:
No, no, no. About men.

About me and men.
You're really right.

l mean, it's not our fault
if we're strong.

You know, l'm just gonna put
all this foolishness behind me once and for all

and get on with my life.

Thanks, Mother.

You're welcome, dear.

So, Mother?

Yes, Mary Margaret?

Well, about my money.
Mmm-hmm.

What do you think
l should do with it?

Leave it in the money market
or invest?

Well, if you want
my advice.

You know, l do.

l mean, l can't really
believe it, but l do. l want your advice.

Real estate.
That's a solid return.

Project
a $50,000 a year income,

figure a 10% cap rate,
that's not out of the ballpark,

you've got yourself
a half-million dollar investment.

l would avoid
residential properties, though.

Too many headaches.

My advice is
go with commercial.

That's a triple net situation.

Alaska, what do they call it,
the final frontier?

Believe me, Mary Margaret,

this place isn't gonna do
anything but grow.

Well?

l got nothing to say to you.

Fine.

A man's hat is his pride,
Maurice.

l didn't say things
didn't get out of hand.

l certainly agree
with you on that.

lt's just when a man
breaks an appointment

with another man,

he ought to give him
24-hours' notice.

Well...

l expect l agree
with you on that, too.

Well...

l guess l could
order you another hat.

What size is that?

Seven and three eights?

No, l guess l'll
just keep this one.

Thank you anyways.

lt's kind of like
an old friend and...

lt's half.
Half?

Seven and a half.

Yeah.

New hat, fun for a while.

A little variety.

Change, you know,
something different.

But for a good fit,
comfortable feeling

there's nothing
like an old hat.

You know what l mean.

l know what you mean.

Well, then.

Well.

Morning, Maggie.

Hey, Ed.

Well, what're we looking at?

l'm just thinking.

Hey, Walt.
Morning, Shelly.

Taking a trip?

Manner of speaking.

See you.

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